Prologue

A whirlwind of emotion swarmed through Lou’s head during the entire trip back from Fort Laramie. Sadness, confusion, hurt, and maybe even a little bit of hope had her caught in a total state of distraction as she rode alongside of Kid and Jimmy, becoming buried deeper and deeper within herself and her jumble of feelings.

So many thoughts flooded her mind simultaneously that she hardly knew what she was thinking at all. One minute she felt sad at the loss of Elias Mills, a man who had become such a good friend and confidante to her in a remarkably short period of time. The very next moment, Lou would feel the warmth of blood rising to her cheeks when she remembered that night when Jimmy had reached out to her and kissed her. The way his hair shone like copper in the flickering light of the fire was enough to render her temporarily breathless at the mere recollection. But then, Lou would remember the way Jimmy had brushed her aside so coldly the next day and pretended that it didn’t happen.

---

"Jimmy," Lou began tentatively, "somethin' else happened last night besides Elias runnin' off."

"Ain't nothin to discuss, Lou," Jimmy tried to dismiss her. "We just weren't actin' ourselves."

"You can't just pretend like it didn't happen."

He quickly countered, "Yes we can. 'Cause it ain't gonna happen again."

"Jimmy, someday someone special special's gonna come along," Lou replied, her voice laden with hurt, "and you can't just treat her like she don't count for nothin'."

"There won't be no one, Lou," Jimmy simply said, sadly.

"Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're more like Elias than I thought."

Jimmy grew defensive at Lou's steely remark. "What kind of life do I have to offer? Not bein' able to look into the future 'cause I never know what's comin' up from behind?"

"What if you found someone who could live with it?" she asked.

"Why should I care for someone if it's just gonna bring 'em pain?" It seemed like Jimmy was trying to prove the point to himself more than anyone else.

"Then you will end up like him...Alone," Lou shot back in frustration.

---

The pain of his rejection seemed too fresh in her mind. In Jimmy’s warped reasoning, he believed he was trying to protect her. He could be so darned stubborn, Lou fumed internally. Hadn’t Jimmy learned anything from Elias? Elias had done the same thing; he’d pushed away those who were closest to him when he should have clung to them the most. And all it got him was a life filled with nothing but loneliness and empty regrets. It pained Lou to think of Jimmy ending up like that. He deserved better.

Finally, Lou’s thoughts rested on the Kid. Dear, sweet Kid, she sighed. One moment she wanted nothing more than to be with him and have things back to way they were. But then the next... She shook her head; she didn’t really know what she wanted. All of this merely added to the growing sense of confusion that Lou felt while she rode between he and Jimmy. And through it all, Lou just couldn’t shake the feeling of utter loneliness that had come over her ever since she witnessed Elias Mills’ fateful hanging.

Kid noticed Lou’s strange mood on the ride back to Rock Creek. She looked as though she were a million miles away. That and her silence told him that something was wrong. Kid knew how close Lou had gotten to Elias during the short time in which she’d known him, so he easily rationed that Elias’ death was the cause of her inner turmoil. Kid was partially right, but if he only knew the rest of it...

Jimmy, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to Lou’s frame of mind. He simply sat atop his horse in that tall, statuesque manner of his with his eyes focused directly ahead of him and his lips set in a tight line. After all, he had his own feelings and uncertainties to sort through...his own ghosts to deal with. Images from the past few days continued to assault Jimmy’s senses relentlessly. Scenes of what had happened replayed themselves in his mind, over and over again without end.

He saw Elias sitting plain before him, asking Jimmy to put the wrist irons back on and take him to meet his long-avoided destiny. He saw Elias’ limp body swinging from the gallows in Fort Laramie, the sickening thud from the hangman’s lever ringing in his head all too clearly. He saw Lou’s lovely face illuminated by the firelight before they kissed. The unmistakable look of hurt in her eyes when he tried to dismiss what had happened between them.

Jimmy blinked hard against the onslaught of these images, his jaw tightening unconsciously. For a brief, blissful moment, the ghosts seemed to have vanished, but then came the voices echoing in his ears...

"People like to talk. The more they do the further they stray from the truth. Pretty soon the stories are doggin' ya worse than the law, till about all ya got left is which one's gonna git ya first."

"When ya gonna stop walkin' away? When are you gonna admit the truth? That when you look at Elias it's like starin' in a mirror twenty years from now. And it scares you to death."

"Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re more like Elias than I thought."

"You will end up like him. Alone."

Lou’s words had stung Jimmy more than he’d imagined possible, probably because he knew that how right she truly was. Hearing them, he couldn’t help feeling that he had somehow let her down. Perhaps worse was knowing that he had let himself down as well. Jimmy had fooled himself into believing that he was trying his best not to live up to his image as a ruthless gunfighter, as the callous killer that J.D. Marcus had invented in his dime novel just over a year ago. A year, Jimmy shook his head bitterly. It seemed like a lifetime ago to him.

But now, Jimmy knew that he had let the reputation conquer him. Elias made him see that, made him realize things about himself that he didn’t want to see. He didn’t really know who or what he was anymore. That uncertainty made him feel damned vulnerable, and he hated that almost as much as he hated the knowledge of how he’d wounded Lou.

Lou. The wind seemed to whisper her name in Jimmy’s ear. He hadn’t wanted to think about her, to think about what had happened between them. But Lord help him, he simply could not push it out of his mind the way he had professed to. He had tried to deceive himself into thinking that he could ignore the way he felt, but all he succeeded in doing was furthering the torment welling up inside. It was all a façade, Jimmy knew, and perhaps deep down, he figured that Lou knew it as well.

She could always read his mind and see clear through him in a way no one else could. That quality was both endearing and infuriating to Jimmy at the same time. There were times when Lou would come to Jimmy when she knew that he really needed someone to talk to. He wouldn’t even have to ask. Sometimes, she would just be there, lending an understanding ear, or simply sitting in a companionable silence with him, knowing that she somehow felt what he was feeling even without a single word passing between them. The air seemed different when Lou was near him. He couldn’t quite fathom how or why, but Jimmy felt better knowing she was there.

Then there were times, like the night by the fire with Elias, where Jimmy had wanted to be alone with his misery. He didn’t want Lou to be able see what he was feeling, and he initially fought her because he didn’t want her to know the truth. He didn’t want to believe the truth. But she made Jimmy see it whether he liked it or not.

His thoughts having drifted back to Lou, Jimmy began to realize just how close she was riding to him. Her leg would gently brush by his occasionally, although she appeared completely unaware of it. Her focus remained on the distant yonder, her face tight and stony. She looked almost catatonic. She appeared not to blink at all, and it was hard to tell whether she was even breathing.

Jimmy forced himself to look away as he forced himself not to think of her. He sighed, finding that to be all but impossible. And inwardly he cursed himself for the umpteenth time for his secret betrayal to the Kid. Jimmy was just thankful that Kid did not share Lou’s insight into his soul, for their friendship might be shattered beyond repair if he knew.

Even though Kid and Lou had ended their romantic relationship a while ago, he believed that the strong feelings once shared by the former couple had not been extinguished completely. The way Lou reacted when Kid was shot and the way she turned to him for comfort after Elias’ hanging only served to solidify that fact in his mind. If Kid knew, he would still react as if Jimmy had thrust a knife into his back. That singular, yet passionate, kiss would be the ultimate treachery. That was why Kid must never find out, Jimmy reasoned. That was why what had happened must never happen again, no matter how hard it might be. Staring at the back of his friend, he felt his resolution strengthen as he steeled himself against the feelings he knew he had to vanquish. So, Jimmy’s silent pact with himself was sealed, and his internal battle raged on.

When the town of Rock Creek began to come into view over the horizon, Kid let out a loud sigh, telling of his weariness from their journey and also his relief in finally being home again. He turned to glance at his friends riding beside him and thought how drained they looked, both mentally and physically. The trip had been rough on them all, and the ride back had been especially slow since Kid still had his arm wrapped in a sling and could not ride at his usual fast pace. The pain was not as acute as it had been a few days ago, but the soreness and tightness in his muscles still lingered. But they were home now, and Kid had high hopes that things would be back to normal for them all as they returned to their daily routine of delivering the mail and doing their other list of chores at the way station.

At last, Lou emerged from her inner thoughts to notice the familiar streets of Rock Creek stretch out in front of her. Usually she would arrive after a long, tiring run to find great comfort and contentment in the sights of home. She would feel strangely invigorated and spur her horse forward with a newfound energy when only moments before she would have felt ready to fall from the saddle and collapse to the ground with exhaustion. But it was not to be this time. Approaching the station, she took a quick glimpse at Kid and then at Jimmy, and somehow, Lou sensed that, after this ride, nothing would ever be the same again.

---

Chapter 1

The silence that had formed during the ride home from Fort Laramie continued through to supper that evening. The only person who really spoke about what had happened was the Kid. When asked, he explained how his arm ended up its present condition. He told them about all the trouble he, Jimmy, and Lou had run into while escorting their prisoner to his hanging. He told them about the kind of man Elias turned out to be, making Teaspoon and the other riders feel infinitely sorry for having caught him in the first place.

"Sounds like Elias Mills was a better man than most," Cody nodded, actually having taken time out from eating to really listen to what the Kid had to say. "Too bad it had to end the way it did," he added.

"Well, Cody," Teaspoon’s gravelly voice lofted over the table, "Elias may have finally gotten what he’d wanted after all."

Confused, Cody asked, "What’s that, Teaspoon?"

Teaspoon leaned back in his chair, his belly protruding with fullness, and his arms crossed over his chest. One eyebrow arched in that trademark way of his. "A chance to be free of his demons. To rest and have some peace."

"I guess you’re right," the blonde rider conceded. "Only it’s too bad he had to die to get it."

Ike’s hands began moving rapidly, and Buck translated for everyone, "Ike says, ‘Elias sounded like a wise man, someone we all could’ve learned from.’"

"Never truer words said, son," Teaspoon replied.

After a few moments of silent reflection by all, Jesse burst in with his youthful exuberance, blue eyes gleaming, and said, "He taught Teaspoon how to take care of his feet. Elias’ remedy of wood alcohol an’ horse liniment fixed it up right good. Didn’t it, Teaspoon?"

Clearing his throat and giving Jesse a hard look, Teaspoon tried to direct the conversation elsewhere. "Speakin’ of which..." He turned his focus on Kid and asked, "How’s that shoulder feelin’, Kid?"

Kid wriggled in his seat a bit, as if testing to see if his arm was still as sore as it had been before giving his answer. He winced slightly and said, "It’s feelin’ a lot better now that Rachel’s seen to it. But it’s still sore. Probably will be for a few more days."

"Just keep off it for a couple of days, and take it easy for a while," the older man told him. "Don’t want to make it worse ‘fore it’s got a chance to heal proper."

Kid nodded. "I will, Teaspoon."

"I already told him I’d take the next ride for him," Buck chimed in. "Kid ain’t scheduled for two more days, but that’ll give him another day to heal up."

"Good job, Buck." The stationmaster gleamed with pride at the way ‘his boys’ had always voluntarily took over for each other and picked up the slack whenever needed. Teaspoon couldn’t help feeling that he was at least partially responsible for the way they had all come together, each from a different background, and created a family that would stick together through thick and thin. Yes, they would always be ‘his boys’, he thought sentimentally.

As Rachel sat back down to the table after filling the serving dishes with second helpings, she noticed that Lou had hardly touched her plate. She just kept moving her food around with her fork, poking and prodding at it, but never bringing it up to her lips. Her brow furrowed with concern for the young woman.

"Lou, honey?" Rachel beckoned, causing Lou to pop her head up, startled. "Are you alright?"

Lou sighed, wondering what she should say. Inside, she felt awful, her storming emotions were driving her almost to the point of dizziness. Much of the dinnertime conversation had gone through her ears via a filter. She knew they were talking about the trip, talking about Elias, but she had managed to block out a lot of the details. And though Lou was surrounded by friends, she felt a strange sense of isolation. She was physically and mentally drained, but still, the constant flow of thoughts would not cease. Yet, Lou didn’t want to tell Rachel all of this; she didn’t want her to fret. So she managed a weak smile, and said, "I’m fine, Rachel. Just tired, is all."

Rachel seemed to buy the simple explanation, but Kid looked at Lou sitting next to him and grew worried. "You sure you’re feelin’ alright, Lou? You ain’t hardly touched a bite since we left Fort Laramie."

She glanced down at her plate, finally taking notice of the sculptural artwork she had subconsciously created using her fork and mashed potatoes. Looking up, she set her fork down on the edge of her dinner plate, almost with a sense of defeat, and uttered, "I think I’ll turn in early and get some sleep."

"That’s probably a good idea," Kid agreed. "I’m sure you’ll feel better come mornin’, once you had a good night’s sleep in your own bed."

Lou just nodded, only momentarily meeting his concerned gaze before looking away once more. She knew it was a lie – all of it. And she was afraid her eyes would reveal it. She knew she would not sleep that night, though she was thoroughly drained, and she knew she wouldn’t feel better come morning.

As Lou rose from her seat at the table and made her way toward her bunk, all eyes seemed to focus on her. That is, all eyes but Jimmy’s. Though he was just as concerned about Lou as the others were, he would not turn to look at her. He would not let himself look at her. Instead, Jimmy went back to cutting up his steak and eating.

Noah, who was unusually quiet that night, had been sitting back and taking everything in. He was very observant, and Jimmy’s reaction to Lou, or lack thereof, did not go unnoticed by him. He saw the way Jimmy was avoiding eye contact. He saw the way Jimmy had unconsciously stiffened as Lou excused herself from the table. All of this made Noah wonder...wonder what else went on while taking Elias Mills to be hanged that no one was saying.

---

As Lou predicted, sleep did not come easy for her that night. She’d tossed and turned most of the night until at last her body simply gave out and she began to drift off, exhausted. Still, it was a fitful sleep. Visions of Elias’ hanging plagued her dreams. It was horrible; she would see that same awful scene over and over in her mind. Lou would try to force herself to wake from the dream, but just as she was on the verge of coming out of it, she would be sucked back in, forced to witness the death of her friend dozens more times.

From across the moonlit room, Jimmy was also unable to find the sweet escape that sleep could offer. Lying on his back with his hands behind his head, he blankly stared up at the bunk over top of his, his mind consumed with unwanted thoughts. Jimmy had been listening to the female rider struggling through sleep. He could hear her soft yet troubled sighs and the sound of her body thrashing around on her bunk.

Against his better judgment, Jimmy turned his head to glance at her tiny figure, writhing beneath the blanket. He sighed deeply as he watched her, his heart aching slightly at the sight. Then his eyes dropped down to the bunk just below her where the Kid slept peacefully.

Kid was totally unaware of what had transpired between Jimmy and Lou. And it had to stay that way, Jimmy thought. But deep down he wondered just how long he would be able to keep up the charade. He wondered how long he and Lou could pretend that nothing had happened...that nothing had changed, when in fact, everything had changed.

Jimmy eventually turned his body away to face the wall and tried unsuccessfully to erase her image from his brain. Sighing once more, he wondered if he’d ever get another decent night’s sleep knowing that Lou slept only feet away on the other side of the small bunkhouse.

---

Chapter 2

"Rider comin’!" Noah cried out from the front of the bunkhouse.

Lou was already poised for the handoff as Cody rode in, whooping and hollering, hardly able to contain his excitement. Cody passed the mochila to Lou, and she vanished down the streets of Rock Creek in a thick cloud of dust.

Cody dismounted from his horse and began to brush the dust off of his clothes, a huge smile on his face. Noah looked at his friend, wondering why Cody seemed to have so much energy when he’d just returned from a long and tiring run.

As he ascended the steps up to the bunkhouse, Cody pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and announced the reason for his elevated mood.

"Noah, look at what I found over by Tompkin’s store when I rode through on my way here." He unfolded the piece of paper, showing Noah at the same time as he told him what it said. "It says here that Rock Creek is gonna have a summer picnic and dance next Saturday and Sunday! And there’s gonna be all kinds of events and competitions. Horse racin’, shootin’, rodeo competitions. There’s gonna be prize money, too!"

Noah’s ears seem to perk up when he heard that last part. "What kind of prize money we talkin’ ‘bout here, Cody?"

"I don’t know," Cody began. "The only thing it says here is: ‘Boxing Competition – Grand Prize of $25.’" He looked back up at Noah. "That seems to be the biggest prize, but I think each event has prize money for the winner."

"Sounds like you already got those prizes won and the money spent, from the way you’re talkin’," Noah pointed out. It was obvious how excited Cody was, as if he had his mind set on taking at least one of those prizes.

"C’mon! Let’s tell the others!" the blond rider exclaimed as he went into the bunkhouse to share the news.

During supper, Cody shared the news of the coming events with the others. His blue eyes dazzled and shone as he spoke. "...And the biggest prize of all will be from the boxin’ competition. Twenty-five dollars would suit me just fine," he added dreamily.

Rachel, who was dishing out her stew, did not seem quite that excited. "Well, I for one don’t see what all the excitement is about with a bunch of grown men bashin’ each other’s faces in."

"Now Rachel," Teaspoon started to explain, "Pugilism is an art and a science. It’s a lot more than just your regular ol’ fistfight. It involves both technique and strategy." He sat, arms folded, in his chair at the head of the table, his hat perched crookedly atop his head the way it always was. Somehow, Teaspoon always had his two-cents to add into any conversation, and this was no different.

Cody simply shrugged off Rachel’s comments. "I don’t care what it involves. So long as it involves that twenty-five dollar prize," he said, pushing another big spoonful of stew into his mouth.

Jesse looked thoughtful from across the table, and he finally asked, "But, Cody, how do you expect the ladies to wanna dance with you with your face all beat up?"

Noah nearly choked on his food at the comment. The boy could be so blunt about things, probably due to his youthful innocence. Noah shook his head, thinking it was simply a matter of time before Jesse’s mouth got him into more trouble than he could handle.

But Rachel decided to play devil’s advocate. "That’s right," she nodded, smiling playfully. "The poster here says there’s gonna be a big dance the night after the picnic. It says it’ll be ‘the highlight of the festivities’," she read off of the poster.

Crestfallen, Cody stroked his chin and pondered Rachel’s statement. If there was one thing William F. Cody cared about more than prize money, that would be impressing the local ladies. Having thought it over, he came to his conclusion. "Maybe you’re right, Rachel. Maybe I’d best stick to the distance shootin’ competition. I can’t be disappointin’ all the ladies who’ll be expectin’ to dance with me."

The stationmisstress simply grinned and nodded, trying hard not to laugh out loud.

What about you, Kid? Ike signed.

Kid didn’t seem too enthusiastic about the idea. "I don’t know, Ike."

"C’mon, Kid," Jesse prods him. "Didn’t you tell us once how you won $30 in a boxing competition that allowed you to buy Katy?"

"That wasn’t a boxing competition," Kid corrected. "Not really. All I had to do was face the guy and still be left standin’ in the ring after three minutes. There’s no way I woulda been able to take him down."

"Well, how ‘bout you, Jimmy?" the young boy asked with obvious eagerness. "I think the Pony Express should have at least one representative in the main event of the picnic."

Jimmy simply shrugged, shaking his head sheepishly. "Naw. I don’t think that kinda thing is for me."

"Just ‘cause it ain’t a gunfight don’t mean you won’t win," Jesse blurted out before thinking.

"Jesse!" Rachel scolded him immediately.

Eyes downcast for a moment, the boy apologized. "I’m sorry, Jimmy. I didn’t mean it that way."

"It’s alright." Jimmy tried to brush off the remark, hiding the twinge of hurt it caused.

In an attempt to change the subject, Rachel asked, "Jesse, how’s that sore tooth feelin’? Is it doin' any better?"

The boy rubbed his slightly swollen jaw, which had been aching for the past three days. "Oh, it’s alright, Rachel," he lied. He knew that Rachel was serious about taking him to see the dentist, and frankly, that was not a prospect he was looking forward to.

She looked down at Jesse’s plate of food and noticed that he’d hardly touched a bite. When he had eaten, he would pick out the meat and only eat the smaller vegetables and sauce that required minimal chewing. "Mmmmhmmm." Rachel stood cross-armed, not buying a single word. "Then why don’t you eat some more stew? I know it’s your favorite."

Jesse knew he’d done it now. But it was too late. He didn’t want to go to the dentist, so he had to make it look like he was fine. He took a big chunk of meat onto his fork and raised it to his mouth. The moment he chomped down on it, he felt the pain searing through the entire left side of his jaw. "Owwww!" he exclaimed, immediately dropping the fork and cradling his jaw with his hand.

"Just as I thought," Rachel said. "That settles it. First thing tomorrow mornin’, you and I are takin’ a trip to the dentist." There would be no arguing with her; the woman was determined.

"Uh, you might have a small problem, Rachel," Teaspoon interjected. "You may have forgotten, but the last dentist in Rock Creek run outta town when Jack McCordle shot ‘im in the arm after he pulled his tooth."

Rachel’s brow furrowed while Jesse’s face lit up. "Oh well, guess that means we’ll just have to let nature work its course."

"Not so fast, Jesse," she told him. "Rock Creek might not have a dentist anymore, but I happen to know that there’s a real good one over in St. Jo."

"St. Jo?" the teenage boy protested. "That’s more miles away than I can count! Who’ll stay here and cook for everyone?"

Suddenly, Cody’s head jerked up when he heard that his source of food would be gone, probably for several days.

"Now boys," Teaspoon began, "We’ve managed to survive with Emma away before. I take it we can manage for a week or two while Rachel takes Jesse to get his teeth fixed."

Knowing there was no other choice, Cody nodded with a sigh. "I guess so. Just so long as Hickok ain’t the one doin’ all the cookin’ again. I musta lost ten pounds that week when Emma was gone visitin’."

Jimmy swatted Cody with his napkin. "Shuddup, Cody. ‘Sides, maybe it’ll be your turn to do the cookin’. You just wait ‘n’ see how easy it is to feed nine mouths."

Cody’s brain was active according to the lines in his forehead. "Nine? Even with Teaspoon, there’s only eight of us. Maybe you should learn to count better, Jimmy."

But Jimmy would have the last laugh. "With your big mouth, Cody, I had to count you twice!"

Instantly, laughter flooded the room. Even Jesse laughed, until he realized just how much pain it caused.

Teaspoon saw the boy cringe in pain. "Don’t worry, Jesse. The doctor’ll be able to fix you up real good."

Sighing in defeat, Jesse muttered quietly, "Yeah, real good. He’ll probably pull half my teeth so’s I’ll look like Old Man Malone. I won’t be able to talk right, neither. I’ll just whistle out the words."

"Oh, hush up," Rachel replied in a no-nonsense tone. "We’ll get a move-on early tomorrow, and I don’t wanna hear another word about it."

Jesse simply sat and pouted. He knew he couldn’t win, not with Rachel, so he reluctantly accepted his fate.

Everyone else at the table was finding the situation quite amusing. It reminded them a lot of the time Jimmy had a toothache. The riders ended up cornering him outside the corral, trying to lasso him into simply getting Teaspoon to take a look at the tooth. In the end, Jimmy preferred to pull the tooth out himself rather than let the dentist in Sweetwater anywhere near his mouth with that drill.

Buck chuckled to himself at the image of Jimmy swinging at them all with a shovel as they tried to surround him. He thought he’d never see the day when Jimmy Hickok turned yellow, but there he was...such a paradox. A man not afraid to face another in a gunfight but scared to death of getting his tooth checked out.

The reverie was broken when Teaspoon spoke. "Kid, yer up tomorrow mornin’, if I’m not mistaken?"

Kid looked up from his plate and nodded. "That’s right, Teaspoon. Lou should be comin’ in with the return pouch from Lone Tree."

A shard of pain filled Jimmy’s gray eyes upon hearing the name Lone Tree. It was where Elias Mills had wanted to stop off on his way to his hanging just so he could see his grown daughter one last time before he left this world. She never even knew he was her father. It was a reminder to him of the life he felt he had to give up, all because he was on the run from the law -- from his demons. But to Elias, the decision seemed worth it. His daughter got a chance to grow up; she was respectable with a husband of her own. Elias had known his past would catch up with him sooner or later, so he’d chosen to leave his wife and young daughter rather than risk them facing the danger he knew was sure to come.

Jimmy wondered if he would do the same thing if he were in Elias’ shoes. However, he banished the notion, thinking back to what he’d told Lou that day after they’d kissed. Why should I care for someone if it's just gonna bring 'em pain?

And then he’d hear Lou’s reply echoing in his brain... Then you will end up like him. Alone.

As Jimmy ate his supper, he silently reinforced the idea in his mind and resigned himself to the fact that he would indeed remain alone.

---

Chapter 3

"Too bad Elias ain’t here now," Jesse said as he stood next to the buckboard. "’Cause I bet he’d have a cure for this toothache just like he cured Teaspoon’s infected toe."

"Well, he ain’t here, Jesse," Rachel told him sternly, gathering the horses’ reigns in her hand. "Now quit bein’ a baby and get up here on this wagon so we can get your tooth fixed. Your jaw’s so swollen, it looks like your whole head is about to pop off."

"But we won’t be back in time for the picnic and dance!" Jesse whined. "Can’t we at least wait till afterwards to go to St. Jo?"

Rachel simply looked at him with a warning glare, and the boy hesitantly hoisted himself into the wagon seat next to her.

Glancing at the riders gathered outside the house, the stationmisstress said, "Now you boys keep this place runnin’ while I’m gone. We should be back within two weeks or so."

"Don’t worry yourself none, Rachel," Teaspoon tried to reassure her. "I’m sure you’ll come back and find everythin’ just as you left it."

Rachel looked at him uncertain. "I might have been a gambler in the past, but somehow I don’t think it would be wise for me to bet on that. The odds would be better that the boys will have burnt this place down," she added with a wink and a smirk.

"Well, you just keep yer wits about ya, ridin’ all the way to St. Jo," Teaspoon advised. "You’ve got that rifle just in case somethin’ happens."

Jesse picked up the shotgun that was lying underneath the seat, but well within reach if the need happened to arise. "I got it right here, Teaspoon. Don’t worry, I’ll protect Rachel. Won’t nothin’ bad happen while I’m around."

Grabbing the gun away from him, Rachel scolded, "Gimme that! You know you’re not supposed to be playing with that." She put the rifle back underneath the seat and gave Jesse one last hard look before saying her farewells to Teaspoon and the riders.

"Take care, boys," she told them. "We’ll be back soon."

With that, Rachel slapped the reigns, and the wagon began rolling away from the station with a sudden jolt. Jesse glanced back as they trotted away, a pitiful expression on his face.

Cody, leaning up against the porch rail and already feeling the void in his stomach for Rachel’s delicious cooking, mumbled, "Not soon enough." He turned to Noah and sighed, "Looks like we got some rough days ahead of us."

Noah replied with sympathy. "Uh-huh. Let’s just hope Lou or Jimmy ain’t doin’ the cookin’ this time. That time Rachel tried to show Lou how to make bread, it looked more like soup."

"Rider comin’!" Teaspoon suddenly called out upon seeing the cloud of dust rapidly approaching. He turned to Kid, knowing that it was Lou coming into the station. "You’re up, Kid."

Kid had already been on standby. Katy was saddled and ready to ride, so he lugged himself up onto his beloved horse, tightened the strap on his hat, and started galloping on ahead to meet Lou for the handoff. The transition was smooth, as always, Kid grabbing the mochila and placing it onto his saddle while only increasing in speed.

"Ride safe, Kid!" everyone called out to him.

Pulling her horse to a halt, Lou barely managed to dismount her horse, Lightning, before Cody ran over to her and started talking her ear off.

"Lou! Guess what?" Cody asked, though he didn’t stop long enough to wait for the answer. He simply continued on in his excited way. "Next week Rock Creek’s gonna be havin’ a big dance and picnic!"

Lou practically ignored him as she led her horse into the stable, Cody still chattering away behind her.

"There’s gonna be all kinds of competitions, too," he continued, following her into the barn. "With prize money and everythin’!"

Finally responding to his incessant prattle, Lou acknowledged him. "That’s nice, Cody." Still, she did not meet his gaze while she continued to tend to Lightning. Lou appeared distracted and disinterested; though Cody was so caught up in his own talk that he didn’t even bother to notice.

"The biggest prize of all is twenty-five dollars for the boxing event," Cody said. "If I weren’t already figurin’ to dance with every pretty girl in town, I might enter myself. But," he paused dramatically, "I can’t disappoint the ladies." Cody’s face took on a dreamy, faraway look.

"Glad to hear you’re fillin’ Lou in on what she’s missed," Teaspoon’s voice boomed as he and the other riders walked into the barn.

Sensing that something more was going on, Lou turned to face the stationmaster, her brow furrowed in puzzlement. "What’s goin’ on, Teaspoon? Somethin’ wrong?"

"No, nothin’s wrong, Lou," he assured her. "You know how Jesse’s been complainin’ of a toothache these past couple o’ days? Well, Rachel finally decided to take him to the dentist in St. Jo to get it fixed."

"St. Jo," Lou echoed. "That’s a long ways away. She’ll be gone at least a couple of weeks then."

"Exactly," Teaspoon replied. "Which is why, now that Rachel’s gone, we’ll need someone to do the cookin’ till she comes back." He spun around, meeting the eyes of all the other riders who stood behind him. "Do I have any volunteers?"

Nobody made a move to volunteer. They all simply averted their gazes and shuffled their feet about the ground nervously, as if avoiding eye contact would somehow make them invisible to Teaspoon’s surveying expression. He turned back to face Lou, who was still standing near the stalls.

Lou could already see the question in his eyes, and she quickly backed away, waving her hands and shaking her head in protest. "Uh-uh, Teaspoon. No way. Just ‘cause I’m a girl don’t mean I know how to cook. I’d probably wind up sendin’ y’all to the doctor with my cookin’."

Sighing with exasperation, Teaspoon asked, "Is anyone gonna volunteer, or do we have to settle this some other way?"

When no one stepped forth to accept the job, Noah simply said, "I guess we draw straws for it."

Teaspoon then bent down and picked up some pieces of hay on the barn floor. Turning his back so the riders cannot see, he arranged them in his hand with all pieces appearing to protrude equally from his fist. Seconds later, he returned to them and held his closed hand out to Lou and the boys. "Alright. Short straw does cookin’ duty till Rachel gets back, except when out on a run."

Buck went first. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw he picked a long straw. One by one, they drew straws from Teaspoon’s hand. Lou, Noah, and Ike, all picked long straws, much to their satisfaction and relief.

"Looks like it’s down to Jimmy and Cody," Teaspoon pointed out.

Jimmy sighed. It was a routine he was well familiar with. Last time it came to drawing straws, he’d lost. And come to think of it, the time before that, too. He looked to Teaspoon and objected. "Hey, how come Kid didn’t get to pick?"

"Because, Jimmy," Teaspoon said, the impatience apparent in his voice, "Kid just left on a run."

"Well, that don’t mean we couldn’t have settled all this before he left," the rider muttered in irritation. Somehow, Jimmy knew this was all a setup and that he’d be the one to get stuck with kitchen duty, no matter how fair the means of selection appeared.

Rolling his eyes, Cody lashed out, "C’mon, Jimmy! We ain’t got all day. Just pick one already!"

Only after throwing a sharp look to the blond rider did Jimmy reach out to pick a straw. There were two left. He touched the tip of one straw before changing his mind and reaching for the other one. Slowly and tentatively, Jimmy lifted the piece of straw out of Teaspoon’s hand. It was the short one.

"Why am I not surprised," Jimmy said, shaking his head and tossing the deciding straw over his shoulder.

Knowing the decision was already made and he didn’t have to do the cooking, Cody let out a whoop, but only before he realized that Jimmy was likely to poison him within the next week. Only then did he bite his tongue.

Approaching Jimmy, Noah pat him on the shoulder in mock sympathy. "Well, Jimmy. It’s near about noontime. Looks like you best be gettin’ started on lunch."

Noah could barely manage to stifle his amusement, and Jimmy couldn’t have been any more annoyed at the situation.

"Good job, Jimmy," Teaspoon said, trying to appease the young rider.

"But Teaspoon..." Jimmy began in protest.

"Fair is fair," the stationmaster replied with a slight grin. "It could’ve been any one of the boys to pick the short straw."

"Somehow that ain’t too comfortin’," Jimmy spoke under his breath.

"Kid’s sure gonna be surprised when he gets back from his ride wantin’ a good meal, and he gets Jimmy’s cookin’ instead," Cody laughed riotously.

"Shuddup, Cody." Jimmy swatted him with his hat and then stormed out of the barn toward the bunkhouse.

"I wouldn’t rile him if I were you," Buck said to Cody with a smirk, once he knew Jimmy was out of earshot. "You might just find gunpowder in your stew tonight."

"Alright, boys, enough of this standin’ around," Teaspoon voiced authoritatively. "We all got work to do."

At their stationmaster’s orders, Buck, Ike, Lou, Cody, and Noah dispersed and went about their daily chores around the station. Not one of them wanted to think about what culinary disaster would await them at their next meal.

---

Chapter 4

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from the episode "In the Presence of Mine Enemies".

Life at the Rock Creek Express station seemed to continue as normal despite Rachel and Jesse’s absence. Jimmy was still a pretty rotten cook, as everybody feared, and his repertoire was quite limited. Pretty soon, their bellies were aching for Rachel’s famous Creole stew and fluffy buttermilk biscuits.

With only days leading up to the much-anticipated town picnic and dance, most of the riders remained busy practicing their various skills for the competitions and thinking about all the young ladies in town with whom they’d like to share a dance. Ike’s thoughts, however, were consumed by only one young woman, who had managed to capture his heart almost immediately.

Emily Metcalf had only recently arrived in town with her father after buying a place nearby. Ike first set eyes on her when she’d stormed into the saloon to come after her father. She’d blown in through the saloon doors, fire and fury shining in her eyes, and she berated her father for his compulsive gambling. She was dressed in pants and a leather vest, looking much like Lou in that respect, but there was no attempt to hide her gender. Ike was instantly taken by both her spunk and her beauty, though the encounter was brief. As quickly as she came, she was gone again, leaving her father behind at the poker tables.

Ike had sensed trouble on the horizon as he continued to watch Emily’s father in the saloon. He’d caught his opponent, Neville, in an attempt to cheat him out of his rightful winnings, which only served to anger the man. Heeding his gut instincts, Ike followed Emily and her father as they headed back to their place, and he managed to intervene when Neville tried to collect the money that Mr. Metcalf had won from him in the poker game. Furious at the trouble her father’s gambling had caused and the new enemy he’d made, Emily rode off in the wagon before she really had a chance to even thank Ike for probably saving her and her father’s lives.

---

Jimmy came out of the bunkhouse, donning a white apron and carrying the fruits of his labor in a cast iron pot. "Breakfast is ready," he called out to the others.

Cody and Ike were over by the corral shoeing one of the horses, and they seemed none too eager to hear that the morning meal was ready.

"You know, I think it's real nice Rachel takin' Jesse to get his teeth fixed in St. Jo," Cody told Ike, "but I don't know if I can survive another week of Hickok's cookin'."

"Are we havin' porridge again?" Lou whined.

"Yep," Cody told her as he stepped onto the bunkhouse porch. "Lou, has your horse eaten yet?" he joked with her.

"Enough, Cody," Jimmy silenced him in irritation.

Lou looked over and saw someone approaching. "Boys, we got company."

The young lady wore a white blouse and a blue and white gingham skirt with a black waist cincher. She had chin length hair, like Lou's, and the skin on her cheeks and nose were lightly freckled from the sun. Ike recognized her immediately, and his face lit up.

"Hi, I'm Emily Metcalf," she introduced herself. "My father and I just bought the Hatcher Place."

Ever the one to try and impress the ladies, Cody stepped forward and tipped his hat. "Nice to meet ya, Emily. My name is William F. Cody."

Ike was a bit annoyed at the way Cody was flirting, but he was relieved to see the Emily wanted no part of it. In fact, she informed everyone that she was there to see Ike.

"Ike, I was kinda upset before," she told him. "I didn't get to thank you personally for whatcha did."

"What did you do, Ike?" Jimmy wondered.

"I dunno, but whatever it was, I wish I did it," Cody said wistfully, much to Jimmy's amusement.

"Well, if you'll excuse me," Emily began, "the man at the feed store is loadin' our wagon. Nice meetin' you."

As she turned to walk away, Cody urged Ike forward. "Don't just stand there, Ike."

Following his friend's advice, Ike actually ran to meet up with Emily and began talking to her. Communication was difficult at first, and Ike found he had to write some things down on paper for her to understand. But after a little while, Emily got the gist of Ike's hand signals, comprehending enough to know that Ike was asking her to the upcoming dance. Much to his surprise and happiness, Emily accepted, and Ike turned back to join the others at the station, a huge smile splitting his face.

---

"Rider comin’!" Buck called out from the bunkhouse porch.

Moments later, Kid rode into view and made the switch with Noah.

"Ride safe, Noah!" Kid called out after his friend.

After seeing to his horse’s needs, Kid walked into the bunkhouse. He was covered with dust, utterly exhausted, and in definitely want of a good, hot meal. He looked around the table and saw Lou, Ike, and Cody sitting there with bowls of food in front of them but not eating.

"Who’s doin’ the cookin’?" Kid asked, knowing that Rachel was gone.

Just then, Jimmy emerged from the kitchen area, donning an apron. Everyone turned to face him, Kid’s question immediately answered in their gestures.

Seeing that he was the focus of everyone’s attention, Jimmy spat in irritation, "What now?" He’d grown sick and tired of their complaints about his cooking. That combined with the uneasiness he felt with Lou had him completely on edge.

"Don’t get all riled up, Jimmy," Cody told him. "We’re just fillin’ Kid in on what he missed."

Jimmy seemed somewhat placated, at least momentarily. "Alright, but I’m warnin’ you, Kid, if I hear one bad word about my cookin’..." He let the threat stop there, the meaning already crystal clear.

Kid simply nodded as Jimmy came over and placed a bowl of porridge on the table in front of him. Looking down at the bowl, Kid saw a lumpy concoction that didn’t resemble any porridge he’d ever eaten. Instantly, he lost his appetite.

"Uh, I think I’ll just go wash up and get some shut-eye. I’m not really all that hungry after all," Kid lied, pushing himself up from the table.

"Suit yourself," Jimmy simply replied.

Kid grabbed a towel and soap and went outside to clean himself up. Cody, too, decided he’d had all of Jimmy’s cooking that he could stomach and headed out to practice for the long-range shooting competition.

Jimmy finally had a chance to sit down and have some of the food he’d cooked. He took his seat across from Lou, who just sat there staring down at her bowl and stirring the porridge around it with a spoon. The tension between the two of them had been so thick that it was growing impossible to disguise it from the rest of the riders, although no one questioned them.

He wondered how long they could keep this up before everything erupted and they were forced to confront what had happened. The longer Jimmy could avoid it, the better, he thought. But keeping everything inside was certainly taking its toll on him, both emotionally and physically. He hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since Fort Laramie. His friendship with Lou had deteriorated, and he worried that the same would happen if and when the Kid ever found out.

Lou could scarcely contain the pounding in her chest as she sat at the bunkhouse table with Jimmy. So many things going through her mind, so much torment inside that made it impossible for her to eat, even if it weren’t Jimmy’s cooking. Her nerves had never felt as raw, and she fought hard to keep silent even as Jimmy sat so close to her. Every now and then she’d sneak a sideways glance in his direction only to find him staring blankly and coldly ahead. It was as if he didn’t even acknowledge her presence, as if he were sitting there all alone. It hurt Lou to know that their once strong friendship had taken such a turn. She wished more than anything to have things back the way they were. But she feared that was impossible.

---

Chapter 5

It had been several weeks since the events of Fort Laramie with Elias Mills, and Kid was noticing a definite change in his relationship with Lou. Although they had never formally gotten back together, Kid had hoped to renew their ties after seeing how she’d clung to him after Elias was hanged. He remembered back to when he’d been shot, and the way Lou came running toward him, screaming his name with worry, had caused his heart to surge in a way that made him realize just how much he still loved her. After all they’d gone through, all the turbulent times, Kid still wanted to be with her. He knew deep down that she was the only woman meant for him. Perhaps he’d known it all along.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that things had changed, and that Lou had grown distant so shortly after he’d felt so close with her. He thought in time, things would return to normal. But they hadn’t. And Kid saw it in Jimmy, too. He saw that Jimmy was more moody than usual, snapping at everything and everybody one minute, then being so quiet that even Ike found the silence spooky.

At night, Kid would notice the way Lou tossed and turned on the bed above him, and he swore that he’d seen Jimmy staring up her more than once in the pale moonlight.

Something was definitely going on, he thought. Things just didn’t seem right. And Kid aimed to find out what it was.

---

Lou had just returned from a ride the day Kid decided to confront Jimmy about his suspicions. She was still in the barn, so Kid figured he had a few minutes to be alone with Jimmy and discuss what was on his mind.

"Jimmy," Kid began cautiously. "I was wonderin’ if you’d noticed anythin’ funny with Lou lately."

Jimmy was sitting on the edge of his bunk cleaning his guns like he always did when he was deep in thought. He barely looked up. "Like what?"

"Like the way she hardly talks to anyone," Kid explained. "The way she keeps to herself and always seems to be in a bad mood."

Sighing in exasperation, Jimmy finally met Kid’s eyes. "Look, Kid, I can’t tell you why Lou’s actin’ a certain way. Seems to me like you should talk to her about it."

Immediately Jimmy went back to his previous task in an attempt to brush the Kid off and avoid the conversation he’d been dreading. Besides, it wasn’t his place to discuss Lou’s behavior anyway.

Slightly annoyed, Kid walked out of the bunkhouse in search of Lou. He knew that they were keeping secrets from him, and he needed to find out what was going on before it drove him crazy. Though it probably already had.

He was heading toward the stables when he saw Lou emerge. She glanced at the Kid as he approached, but kept walking past him as if she knew the questions that were awaiting her. He called out after her.

"Lou! We need to talk."

At last, she stopped but turned around only halfway to tell him, "Sorry, Kid. I really don’t have time right now. It was a long ride, and I’m dead tired."

She began storming away again toward the bunkhouse, but Kid wasn’t about to give up so easily. He ran after her and grabbed her shoulder, giving her no choice but to turn and listen to him.

Her irritation was apparent at this point, but there was no stopping Kid when his mind was set to something.

"Lou, I wanna know what’s goin’ on," he demanded.

"Well, it looks like I’m headin’ to the bunkhouse to get some sleep," she answered, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"That ain’t what I meant, an’ you know it," Kid spat back.

"I don’t know what you're talkin’ about."

Lou didn’t want to hear any of it, so she spun back on her heels and headed up to the bunkhouse where her bed, and hopefully some privacy, would be awaiting her.

Kid was hot in pursuit, stopping her just before she went inside. "Ever since Fort Laramie...ever since Elias Mills, you just ain’t been actin’ right."

Lou flinched visibly upon hearing the name before averting her gaze once again. But at least she was not running away anymore, so Kid continued.

"You walk around here like a ghost!" Kid almost shouted. "You don’t talk to no one. Somethin’s wrong that you’re not tellin’ me."

Her annoyance had metamorphosed into anger by now. She was tired, she was hungry, and the last thing she needed was to have Kid on her back. Lou whirled around to face him, her eyes burning with fury. "We ain’t together anymore, Kid. You got no right to demand explanations like that."

"I’m just askin’ ‘cause I care," Kid replied, his voice now a bit softer.

Exhaling, Lou looked deeply into Kid’s bright blue eyes, seeing the pain and concern there. Still she felt he had no right to question her like that, and she quickly returned to the defensive. "I know you do, Kid. But it’s got nothin’ to do with you, so I’d appreciate if you’d just leave me alone and mind your own business."

She could tell she’d hurt him from his sharply indrawn breath and the pain etched across his face. Kid simply nodded in defeat and turned away to leave. But before he was too far away, he suddenly turned back to face her.

"This has somethin’ to do with Jimmy, don’t it?" Kid asked, though he knew it was against his better judgment to do so.

"Kid..." Lou said in a warning tone.

Again, he turned and walked away, somehow knowing the answer already.

Lou watched the distance growing between them, feeling both angry and sorry at the same time. She wasn’t trying to hurt him deliberately, but sometimes he didn’t know when to stop pushing her. After one long last look at Kid as he entered the barn, Lou opened the bunkhouse door and disappeared inside.

Kid went to the place where he always found comfort – in the barn with Katy. He leaned his head against her warm, soft mane, thinking about the exchange he’d just had with Lou. She was right about them not being together anymore. Maybe he was prying into her personal business, but still, Kid couldn’t help but feel hurt at the way Lou was shutting him out. He didn’t know what was going on inside her head.

He was so confused. The spark of hope had risen to flames when Lou had come running to him after he’d been shot. And then, when she’d turned and buried her face in his chest after Elias Mills had been hanged, the hope came surging once again in his heart that she still loved him and wanted to be with him again. But now, Kid didn’t know what she wanted.

All he felt now was this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was losing Lou...perhaps forever.

---

Chapter 6

That night, like it seemed most every night lately, Jimmy could not find sleep. He’d been lying in bed, restless, for what felt like hours, and though he was exhausted, he also felt antsy. Rising from his bunk, Jimmy quickly and quietly slipped his pants and boots on and went outside to try to get his mind off his troubles.

Not long after Jimmy had gone outside, Noah awoke to a constant knocking sound. He rose from his bunk and followed the sound to the far side of the barn where he stumbled upon Jimmy chopping wood. It must have been close to midnight, and there was Jimmy Hickok, chopping wood in the pitch dark.

Noah couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight, thereby alerting Jimmy to his presence.

"Looks like you chopped near enough wood to get through next winter...and maybe the winter after that," Noah pointed out, leaning himself up against the barn wall with a grin of nonchalance. Upon getting no response, he turned serious and asked, "You got somethin’ on your mind, Jimmy?"

"Nope," Jimmy simply shrugged off Noah’s query and raised the axe up once more to begin chopping another block of wood. "Just couldn’t sleep and thought I’d do somethin’ productive for a while," he lied.

"Mmmhmmm." Noah wasn’t buying it. "Maybe that somethin’ on your mind is really a someone."

Turning around in frustration, Jimmy finally ceased his chopping to face his friend. "Look, Noah. I ain’t in the mood for these little guessin’ games. It’s late. If you got somethin’ to say, then say it. Otherwise, good night, and I’ll see you in the mornin’."

Startled by the extreme defensiveness in Jimmy’s voice, Noah backed off slightly. "Alright. I ain’t gonna force you to talk. But lemme just say this. People ‘round here ain’t as blind as you might like to think. You might wanna remember that."

The two men now stood face to face. Jimmy understood clearly the meaning in Noah’s warning, yet he gave no reply. He didn’t know what to say or do, so he simply turned back around and commenced with his chopping.

"’Night, Jimmy," Noah said. And then he started walking back to the bunkhouse.

Jimmy continued chopping until he heard the sound of the bunkhouse door shut, and he knew he was alone once again. He’d come outside to find some escape from his thoughts through physical labor. Perhaps he should have known it was pointless. Still, it was better than lying on his bed awake while fighting the urge to glance at Lou’s sleeping form on the bunk just feet away.

Jimmy knew that Kid had gone off to talk to Lou earlier, and he could only imagine what he’d found out. He was certain that Kid hadn’t learned about the kiss Jimmy and Lou shared because Kid hadn’t come after him with his fists flailing. He wondered how long it would be before Kid did find out everything that happened. Even Noah had some idea of what was going on. People ‘round here ain’t as blind as you might like to think, he’d told Jimmy.

Attempting to banish the thoughts from his mind, Jimmy heaved the axe up above his head, his teeth clenched tightly, and brought it down hard on a hunk of wood, causing it to shatter into several pieces. He left the axe in the stump and brought his fingers up to massage his temples for a moment, breathing deeply. Jimmy looked down at the shards of wood and realized that was exactly how he felt – cut into pieces that would never quite fit together again no matter how hard he tried.

After a few deep breaths, Jimmy regained his composure and headed towards the bunkhouse and another sleepless night.

---

Weeks had passed since Lou had really talked to Jimmy, and she could hardly stand it anymore. To make matters worse, she and Kid weren’t speaking either. It was all too much for her to handle. With Rachel away, she felt she had no one to talk to, no one to confide in. She thought about turning to Teaspoon, but even though he always tried to give good advice, it was often cryptic. Besides, Lou knew that if she were going to talk to anyone, outside of Jimmy and Kid themselves, it would have to be a woman. Only a woman could understand the dilemma she was in.

But Rachel was still in St. Jo with Jesse, getting his teeth fixed. So, Lou decided she would approach Jimmy after weeks of unbearable silence. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was something she needed to do.

Lou found Jimmy by the corral, shooting cans off of the fence. She advanced carefully, still unsure of what she was going to say to him. She stood there for what felt like hours while he refused to acknowledge her. He continued firing away at the cans the way he did when something was eating at him.

Finally, Lou fought down the lump in her throat and found her voice. "So how long you gonna keep ignorin’ me, Jimmy?"

The shooting stopped temporarily as Jimmy reloaded with another round.

Not turning to face her, he replied, "I ain’t ignorin’ you." When he finished reloading, he began firing again.

Practically screaming above the echo of the gunfire, Lou said, "Well, you’re doin’ a pretty fine job pretendin’ to."

The six shots finished, Jimmy responded in irritation while loading the pistol again, "Look, Lou, I ain’t got time for this. We’ve been through all this before."

"Please, Jimmy," Lou begged. "It was hard enough losin’ Elias. I don’t think I could stand it if I lost you too."

Jimmy was poised to fire again, but he stopped when he heard the pleading in her voice. He finally spun his head around to look at Lou, and he saw plainly the hurt in her eyes. It was pain he hadn’t wanted to see, so he’d been avoiding them...avoiding her. He holstered his gun, sighing deeply, and fully turned around toward her, ready to listen.

"You’re my best friend, Jimmy," Lou confessed sadly as she approached him and looked deeply into his gunmetal gray eyes. They had a frosty, distant look that sent a shot of pain searing through her body.

Feeling the heat of her gaze upon him, Jimmy forced himself to look away. "Things have changed, Lou."

She shook her head slightly. "They don’t have to."

Growing defensive again, Jimmy barked, "What do you want me to do? I can’t go back in time and change things."

"I’m not askin’ you to," she replied. She licked her lips before adding, softly. "And I don’t want you to."

"Lou, what happened between us—"

"It won’t happen again," she finished his sentence. It was what he’d said to her earlier, when she’d confronted him about what happened. Just the memory of those words stung as sharply as when Jimmy said them originally. "I know that."

"It was a mistake," Jimmy quickly dismissed.

Extremely hurt, Lou shot back, "It was a kiss, Jimmy. Can’t you even say it?"

"It was wrong, Lou." It seemed that Jimmy was trying harder to convince himself of all he was saying.

Lou could sense this somehow; she could sense the conflict he was fighting inside. Yet, she wasn’t going to back down again, not without having her say and giving him something to think about. So, she decided to call him out. "Was it, Jimmy? Is that what you really think?"

Upon seeing the intensity on her face, Jimmy lowered his gaze, unable to answer. He knew his eyes would betray him if he attempted to lie.

"You best go find Kid," Jimmy told her. Lou looked confused, so he elaborated. "He was lookin’ for you earlier."

"In case you haven’t noticed, me ‘n’ Kid ain’t exactly been on the best of terms lately," Lou mentioned, her voice taking on a tone of melancholy.

It was true; Jimmy had noticed. Everyone was noticing. They lived within such close quarters that it was impossible not to see the strained relations between Lou, Kid, and Jimmy.

"All I want is for us to be friends again," Lou said sincerely. "We can be friends again, can’t we?"

Pausing to think for a moment, Jimmy wondered if they really could be friends again. He wanted to, more than anything, but he couldn’t risk what happened that night by the fire happening again. He feared he wouldn’t be able to hold back if it did. At the same time, Jimmy knew he had been miserable lately while keeping his distance from Lou. So, the conflict raged on inside of him.

"I don’t know," he shook his head, his heart heavy with doubts and unspoken fears.

He glanced one last time at Lou, knowing he’d only caused her more pain, and then turned back around and positioned himself to fire.

The booming sound of gunshots reverberated in Lou’s ears, causing her whole body to lurch each time the trigger was pulled. A few minutes later, she turned and reluctantly headed back to the stationhouse to find Kid, not knowing that he’d been there the whole time, just inside the barn, and that he’d heard the entire exchange between her and Jimmy.

---

Chapter 7

"Kid? Kid?" Lou called out as she opened the bunkhouse door.

He was nowhere in sight, so she decided to check for him in the barn. Lou shuffled over to the barn, her hands buried in her pants pockets, wondering what Kid wanted to talk to her about. She turned the corner into the barn and found Kid standing by Katy’s stall, brushing her coat.

"Kid?" Lou called out again, announcing her presence. "Jimmy said you were lookin’ for me."

Her face took on a puzzled expression when he didn’t answer her or even look her way. "Kid? Is there somethin’ wrong?" She was beginning to get worried. Kid had a look on his face that she couldn’t grasp. His jaw was set and his lips were pressed together tightly in a straight line. He definitely seemed upset about something.

Finally, Kid spoke up, as if fending off every morsel of restraint to keep silent. "I know what happened with you ‘n’ Jimmy."

Lou did not know what to say or how to react. She looked in his eyes and knew it was true – that he knew about the kiss. It was as if her worst nightmare had come true, but at the same time, she felt a strange measure of relief that the secret was out in the open. Too long had she hidden it from him. Too long had she allowed it to eat her up inside and fill her with such unimaginable torment.

"Kid—" she began, uncertain what to say next.

"No, Lou," Kid held his hand out, cutting her off from speaking. "Let me finish. Please. I’ve been as patient as I could. I waited for you to make up your mind about me...about us." He paused for a moment to settle his thoughts before continuing. It was obvious just how hard it was for him to say the words. "But I can’t wait any longer."

Lou stood dumbfounded as she watched Kid approach her, pulling a small velvet pouch out from his pocket. He then opened the pouch and pulled out a ring. It was the same ring he had used when he proposed marriage many months ago, only to have Lou refuse. Kid stood only inches away from her, holding up the delicate ring between his thumb and index finger. His eyes were pleading.

"Oh, Kid..." were all the words Lou could muster. She brought her hands to her mouth to contain the onslaught of emotion. The thought of Kid proposing again...it was the very last thing she’d expected.

"You gotta make up your mind, Lou," he told her. "You gotta choose."

Lou looked at the ring alternately with Kid’s oceanic blue eyes. They were filled with so much ache. Lou knew deep down the love was also there, but then she thought of his words. It was more of a challenge he offered than a proposal, and she would not be dared into marriage. Not with Kid, not with anybody.

"I can’t," Lou shook her head sadly. "It ain’t fair of you to put me in this position."

Frustrated, Kid persisted, more forceful this time. "It’s a simple question, Lou. It’s either me or Jimmy. And I need an answer...now."

Don’t do this to me, Kid, Lou’s eyes silently begged him. But she realized that he would not waver; he would not back down. So, she built up her own resolve and gave her reply, keeping her gaze focused intently on his.

"Then I’m afraid the answer is no."

Kid nodded slightly, accepting her answer as if he’d known what it would be all along. "Fine. I won’t ask again." And he placed the ring back in its drawstring pouch, placed it securely in his pocket, and turned his back on her.

Confused and distraught by what had just happened, Lou quickly spun around and ran out of the barn, the tears welling in her eyes. Suddenly, it felt like everything had fallen apart.

---

Chapter 8

The bunkhouse was especially quiet that night. Rachel and Jesse were still in St. Jo, and now neither Jimmy nor Lou nor Kid was speaking. Before, Kid and Lou were at least civil to one another, but after the confrontation in the barn – after the rejected proposal – the bad blood became impossible to ignore. Kid’s pride had been bruised and his ego wounded, because although Lou had not chosen Jimmy, she had not chosen him either. The entire mood of the Express station seemed to turn as sour as spoiled milk.

Only Ike seemed to be in a decent mood now that he was spending more and more time with Emily Metcalf. He had been spending nearly every spare moment at her homestead helping her to fix it up and make it into a real home. He’d only known her for a few days, but already he could tell that he was falling deeply for her.

As night blanketed the Earth and the rest of the riders were settled in their beds, though not all were asleep, Jimmy remained outside alone. Sitting atop the corral fence, he was lost in thought, staring out into the vast, black openness around him. He couldn’t stop thinking about his talk with Lou earlier that day. The entire conversation seemed to echo in his brain as he sat there gazing out into the distance, but not really focusing on anything in particular.

Jimmy knew he’d hurt her; he’d hurt her badly. She came to him wanting nothing more than be friends, and he’d shut her out and pushed her away. It was wrong of him, but at the time he did not know what else to do. In that moment, allowing himself to get close to Lou once more seemed to be a worse option than never speaking to her again. Now the prospect seemed unthinkable. Jimmy realized that he could not live and work so closely with her while keeping up the charade. It would drive him crazy. The least he could do was be civil to her, he thought. She deserved that at the very least.

You’re my best friend, Jimmy, Lou had said to him.

Suddenly, her words came to him and seemed to soothe his soul, while at the same time, stoking the fires of his heart. As much as he didn’t want to admit it at the time, Jimmy felt the same way about her. Lou always had a way to see clear through him, down to his innermost secrets and fears. She could read his thoughts and call out emotions in him that even he could not yet name. Sometimes she infuriated him with her ability to peer into his mind when he only wanted to be left alone with his doubts. Yet talking to her always made Jimmy feel better in the end.

Like that night in Fort Laramie with Elias Mills.

That conversation with Lou played itself in his mind over and over. Jimmy always seemed to come back to that night, despite all of his attempts to squelch the feelings it caused to flow to the surface, to quell the longing he'd felt when she'd spoken to him as no one else had. Because she made him see the truth, whether he wanted to or not.

---

"You're thinkin' about him, aren't ya?" Lou said, more as a statement than a question. She could see right through him.

With the focus of his eyes unchanged, Jimmy moved his hand away from his mouth to speak. "The man's an outlaw. Ain't much more to think about."

"Yeah there is, and you know it," replied Lou.

Jimmy didn't want to hear any of this, so he rose and turned to leave. "It's late. Stay up if you want. I'm goin' to sleep."

Before thinking what she was about to say, Lou boldly voiced, "When ya gonna stop walkin' away? When are you gonna admit the truth?"

"And what truth is that, Lou?" Jimmy asked, growing defensive. He really did not want to hear 'the truth'.

"That when you look at Elias it's like starin' in a mirror twenty years from now. And it scares you to death." Again, Lou's words were both forceful and forthright.

Jimmy quickly turned around and looked at Lou, his eyes full of regret and admission.

Lou realized the impact of what she had said and was instantly apologetic. "I'm sorry. I had no right sayin' that."

Jimmy understood. "Yeah, ya did." He removed his hat, ready to confess his deepest fears. "I keep tellin' myself that that ain't gonna be me. But all I see is myself headin' down that same road."

"It doesn't have to be that way," Lou said gently.

"I don't think it's gonna turn out any different. People got their minds made up about me."

Lou's voice was tender and comforting. "Doesn't matter what others think. It matters what you think." Lou paused. "For what it's worth though, I...I think you're a much better man than you give yourself credit for."

Jimmy looked at her questioningly at first, then with wonder at the way Lou was able to read his fears, make him admit to them, and ease his mind all in a few precious moments.

And then it happened. A simple kiss on his cheek by Lou, and the flames of passion became ignited within Jimmy with a powerful and undeniable force. His soul cried out as his lips sought the warmth and comfort of Lou's own. And after that one, indescribable moment, something inside Jimmy was changed forever...

---

"For what it’s worth, though, I think you’re a better man than you give yourself credit for."

Her words echoed in his brain. Jimmy couldn’t believe that anyone could have so much faith in him, but then there was Lou. A few gentle, reassuring words and a soft kiss on the cheek from her were enough to send all of his uncertainties away, at least temporarily. If only she knew the power she held over him, he thought.

He had to talk to her, Jimmy realized. He’d been so wrong to ignore Lou like he’d been doing the past few weeks, especially when he saw earlier that she’d been hurting as much as he had. Tomorrow, Jimmy decided, he would speak to her and make things right again.

---

Chapter 9

Morning came and brought with it a flurry of activity. Ike left early to go work on Emily’s house. Buck was out on a run, and Cody and Noah had headed to town to sign up for the competitions. Cody was positive he’d win first prize in the marksmanship contest, while Noah figured he’d have a fair chance at the rodeo challenge. Kid had also gone into town to pick up some supplies from Tompkins’ store, so it was only Lou and Jimmy left at the station. Jimmy decided it was his best opportunity to speak with Lou and apologize for his recent behavior.

After putting off the inevitable conversation as long as possible, Jimmy entered the bunkhouse and found Lou sitting at the table reading. When he saw her look up, her radiant brown eyes fixed on his, all the words he had worked through in his head seemed to suddenly vanish into a massive whirlwind of insecurity.

After several moments of silence, Lou simply dropped her gaze back to the book she was reading, thinking that Jimmy was just going to ignore her again.

"Uh, Lou?" Jimmy finally spoke up. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Lou glanced back up at him, and she swore she saw a kindness in Jimmy’s eyes, heard a tenderness in his voice that had seemed to be lost. She put down the book, and Jimmy took that as a signal to come over and sit at the bunkhouse table next to her.

"Is somethin’ wrong, Jimmy?" Lou asked, concern reflected in her voice.

"No," Jimmy shook his head and worked up the courage to say what needed to be said. "I just wanted to say I’m sorry."

Lou looked at him confused, and he continued. "I been actin’ like a jackass lately, and I’m sorry for it."

It wasn’t exactly the most eloquent apology, Jimmy knew. However, Lou sensed the sincerity in his demeanor, and it warmed her heart knowing that Jimmy was making some attempt to reconcile things between them.

"It’s alright, Jimmy," she assured him. "I know it ain’t been easy..."

"No, Lou. It ain’t alright," he replied with conviction. "I had no excuse for treatin’ you the way I’ve been. I just didn’t know what else to do."

Jimmy looked away for a moment and took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. Turning back to face her, brown eyes boring intently into his, he continued. "Remember after what happened that night by the fire...when I said we weren’t actin’ ourselves?" Lou nodded wordlessly. "Well, the truth of it is I was actin’ more myself that night than ever."

"You don’t have to tell me all this," Lou said, trying to allay his hardship. It was clearly very difficult for Jimmy to be talking to her like that, and Lou hated seeing her friend struggle so. She reached out to touch his hand. He seemed to grow strangely at ease.

"I gotta say it now or I won’t say it at all." Jimmy licked his lips unconsciously before proceeding, knowing he had her full attention. "The truth is, you were right about me. Even Elias knew the truth, things I didn’t want to see. You knew I was runnin’ away...I just didn’t wanna admit it. So I pushed you away, and I’m sorry for that."

"Oh, Jimmy," Lou croaked, her voice so filled with emotion that the words came out as no more than a whisper.

Then, without a moment’s thought, she pulled Jimmy into her comforting embrace. He accepted her into his arms and hugged her so strongly, breathing in the fresh scent of her hair. The feel of her close to him after so long seemed so good...so right. He wondered how he could have denied himself the pleasure of it for as long as he had.

Jimmy and Lou remained locked in a tight embrace for several glorious minutes. Only whey they heard the creaking sound of the bunkhouse door was the moment disrupted.

Kid opened the door and found the woman he loved and the man he considered his best friend wrapped in each other’s arms. Jimmy and Lou pulled away, but it was too late. Kid had already seen them, and he already had his own ideas of what had been going on. Hurt, and looking angry enough to spit nails, he stormed back out, dropping the box of supplies just outside the bunkhouse door.

"Kid!" Lou cried out after him, but he didn’t turn around.

Her eyes wide with shock, she looked at Jimmy for support, who then rose from his seat and ran out after Kid.

Finding Kid in the barn, Jimmy attempted to reason with him. "Kid, lemme explain..." he began.

"You don’t gotta explain nothin, Jimmy," Kid retorted harshly, refusing to meet his gaze. "Just don’t consider yourself my friend anymore."

"And just what’s that supposed to mean?" Jimmy asked defensively.

His head finally snapping around towards Jimmy, Kid lashed out, "It means I know everythin’."

"No," Jimmy shook his head. "I don’t think you do."

"I know about you and Lou, Jimmy." Kid neared him as if in challenge, his words lancing, accusing. "I know what happened in Fort Laramie. And I know what I just saw in the bunkhouse. I ain’t blind."

Jimmy had never seen Kid like this before. Sure, he and Kid had their fair share of arguments, and they were usually over Lou. But the tight set of his jaw and the pure fire burning in his eyes at that moment caused Jimmy to be taken aback.

"You think you know what you saw, but you’re wrong, Kid," Jimmy responded, doing everything in his power to control his growing anger at the Kid’s imputing tone. "Nothin’ happened in there."

Kid dropped his gaze and then nodded; though it was obvious he did not believe Jimmy. When he returned his focus to Jimmy, his eyes were even harder, even more full of utter desperation.

"I just need to know one more thing, Jimmy."

Tired of the whole situation, Jimmy sighed. "What’s that?"

"How long has it been goin’ on?" Kid snapped. "Was it goin’ on when me ‘n’ Lou were still together, huh? Has it been goin’ on since then? Just how long have you been playin’ me for a fool, Jimmy?" The bitterness was dripping from his voice; he was quickly losing every last shred of control over his emotions. "You could’ve at least waited to move in until I was out of the picture!"

"Hold on, Kid." Jimmy held out his hands, hoping to get Kid to back off. He understood that Kid was angry and upset, and maybe rightly so. But now Jimmy, too, was getting increasingly enraged at such accusations. "You got no right sayin’ that. Lou and I are friends, like we’ve always been." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "What happened in Fort Laramie was the first and only time anything like that has ever happened. And that’s the truth, whether you wanna believe it or not."

Feeling he’d said his piece, Kid turned his back on him. He didn’t want to hear any excuses because, in his mind, Jimmy had been tried, convicted, and sentenced of the crime. Jimmy had betrayed him. The man Kid had thought of as a brother had flung a knife in his back, and that seemed unforgivable.

Not wanting to end things like that, Jimmy reached out and put his hand on Kid’s back, wanting to explain further. "Kid—"

But Jimmy never got a chance to get any more words out as Kid spun around and punched him in the jaw with a swift and unexpected blow. Stunned, Jimmy lost his balance and fell to the barn floor. He quickly recovered and stood up, and then an all-out fight began.

Lou rushed into the barn when she heard the commotion and saw the two men fighting. The punches were flying, and the blood was flowing. Lou tried to make them stop, but they would not. After nearly getting hit while attempting to intervene, Lou ran out of the barn and down the street through town, where she hoped to find Teaspoon or some of the other riders.

She quickly spotted Cody and Noah just outside the mercantile, where folks were signing up for the different events at the coming picnic. She ran toward them, already breathless, and shouted, "Cody! Noah! Jimmy ‘n’ Kid are gonna kill each other if you don’t get in there and stop ‘em!"

Upon seeing the sheer look of panic plastered on Lou’s face, the two of them took off running towards the stationhouse without even an inkling of hesitation.

Rushing into the barn, they somehow managed to successfully dodge flailing fists and separated the two rivals. Cody immediately grabbed onto Jimmy while Noah took hold of Kid, though they protested, wishing only to be free again so they could pound each others’ heads in.

"Settle down, Jimmy!" Cody advised his friend.

"Lemme go, Cody!" Jimmy demanded, his chest still heaving from the adrenaline coursing through his body.

The blond rider tightened his grip around Jimmy’s biceps, tense and hard with anger. Lou could only stand there and watch, consumed by bewilderment and self-blame. She felt that she had in some way caused all this...that she was at fault for breaking up the Kid and Jimmy’s friendship. She’d never felt so horrible, or so helpless.

"You two ready to stop fightin’ and act like grown men?" Noah chastised them.

Though breathing heavily, Kid and Jimmy eventually settled down enough for Cody and Noah to feel safe loosening their holds. Both sets of eyes still burned with wrath, as they remained focused on each other, ready to go at it again at the slightest provocation. But it would not happen, not with Noah and Cody there to make sure they did not lash out again. Slowly but surely, Jimmy and Kid resigned themselves to the fact that the battle was over. For the time being, at least.

Kid shrugged off Noah’s relaxed grip and wiped away the stream of blood flowing from his lower lip. He began walking out of the barn. On his way out, he stopped and spun back around to face Jimmy. "We’ll finish this, Jimmy," he vowed. "One way or another."

"You threatenin’ me, Kid?" Jimmy asked, the warning in his voice apparent.

"No," Kid replied, "Just statin’ a fact."

Pulling free from Cody, Jimmy stood tall and defiant, his opponent’s challenge already accepted in his body language and in the dark glint in his eyes. "Just say when. I’ll be ready."

Unable to stand the thought of any more bloodshed, Lou ran out of the barn, crying.

---

Chapter 10

With only a day before the big summer picnic, Lou could not find a single thing to be happy about. Kid and Jimmy had taken it upon themselves to challenge each other to the boxing competition at the picnic the next day. Of course, everybody knew there was so much more at stake than the $25 reward; it was their friendship that was really on the line. To Lou, it felt as if everything around her had fallen to pieces, and like a broken china plate, no amount of glue or repair would ever bring it back to its original form.

Lou wondered how things could have gotten so muddled – so complicated – in only a relatively short amount of time. And she felt responsible. She never wanted her confused feelings for Jimmy to come between his friendship with the Kid. Deep inside she knew it would all come out into the open at some point in time, but she hadn’t anticipated the utter chaos that would ensue. For about the hundredth time that week, Lou wished more and more that Rachel were back. She needed another woman to talk to and help her sort things out. But Lou would have to wait a while longer until Rachel returned from St. Jo. For now, she would simply have to try her best to persuade Kid and Jimmy not to fight each other.

"Kid," Lou approached him cautiously, "I want you to call off this whole fight with Jimmy."

Not even looking up from the section of corral fence he was mending, he simply said, "I can’t do that, Lou."

"Kid," she persisted, "this ain’t about you ‘n’ Jimmy, and you know it. It’s about you ‘n’ me."

He brought the hammer down hard on a nail to secure the wobbly fence post. He could not deny that the true source of the conflict was with Lou. However, Kid needed some way to take out his aching aggression, and Jimmy seemed to be the best target. Besides, Kid deduced, Jimmy was the real reason that Lou was uncertain about her feelings. He was sure that if Jimmy were not confusing her, he and Lou would have been back together already.

"It’s not Jimmy you’re angry at. It’s me. It ain’t right for you to take it out on him," Lou told him, as if reading his thoughts.

Suddenly, Kid whipped around to face her, his countenance contorted with a mixture of hurt and anger. "Why are you always defendin' him? Why aren’t you ever on my side?"

"I’m not pickin’ sides, Kid."

"Yeah, you are, Lou," he told her plainly. "You already have. You made your choice a long time ago, whether you knew it or not." Kid went back to his task and began hammering furiously.

Not giving up, Lou pressed on, hoping to make the Kid see reason and realize exactly what he’d be giving up. "But Jimmy’s your best friend. Are you just gonna throw that away?"

Kid shook his head. "Sorry, Lou. But this has been a long time comin’." The hammering ceased only momentarily as Kid set another nail down and took aim again. "’Sides, my mind’s already made up." Kid stood firm ground, and Lou knew that it was useless. He could be so stubborn at times that it made her want to scream.

"Alright then," Lou acquiesced, but only before the anger boiled over inside of her. "I hope you get some sense knocked into you tomorrow! Into both of you!"

Lou stormed off, not noticing that Kid turned back to watch her and then hung his head in regret.

---

Having failed to make Kid change his mind about fighting, Lou figured she might as well try to speak to Jimmy. In the back of her mind, she knew she’d probably have more luck convincing the sun not to rise than get Jimmy to back down from the challenge. But she knew she had to at least try, so she went into the bunkhouse to talk with him.

Jimmy was seated at the bunkhouse table cleaning his guns for what must have been the third or fourth time in as many days. Lou stood silently for a few moments, wondering whether or not she would be wasting her breath trying to convince Jimmy not to fight Kid.

Sensing her presence yet not turning to face her, Jimmy asked coldly, "Is there somethin’ you wanted, Lou?"

"Jimmy," Lou began, licking her lips unconsciously, "why are you fightin' Kid?"

Still focusing on his shining Navy Colt revolver, he responded, "Because he challenged me." Jimmy made it seem so simple. "And I could use a new saddle with that $25 prize money," he added, skirting around the real issue.

"Is twenty-five dollars really worth losin’ a friendship over?" Lou questioned him. The hurt was evident in her voice.

"Did he ask you to come in here to try ‘n’ talk me out of it?" Jimmy inquired, as if secretly wishing the Kid would call the whole thing off. Deep down, Jimmy realized that he didn’t want to fight Kid, but he wouldn’t back down either. After all, in his mind, Kid started the fight; he took the first swing and initiated the dare. Jimmy had remained as calm as he could for as long as he could, but when Kid threw that punch, he was left with no choice but to fight back.

"No," Lou shook her head. "He’s too fool stubborn, he won’t back down either."

"Then I guess there’s nothin’ left to do but take it to the ring tomorrow."

Glancing at her quickly, Jimmy saw the anguish written on Lou’s face before he forced himself to avert his eyes again. Of course the prize money wasn’t worth the cost of his friendship with the Kid, but he understood that there was much more at stake...so much more. Whether Lou realized it or not, she – her heart - would be the biggest prize of all.

---

Later that day, Buck informed Lou that Teaspoon wanted to see her. She headed over to the Marshall’s office in town, gut feeling informing her that he was going to try to give his advice on the situation between her, Jimmy, and Kid. Teaspoon had remained very quiet and non-intrusive up until then, partly because his duties in town kept him extremely busy that week, but probably even more so because he’d been avoiding meals in the bunkhouse ever since Rachel left and Jimmy had taken over the cooking. However, he soon learned what was going on with his riders, and Lou had known it was only a matter of time before he would intervene.

"Teaspoon?" Lou announced herself. "You wanted to see me?"

The older man looked up from his paper work and saw Lou standing just inside the threshold. "Come on in, Lou. Sit down, if you like."

Lou came inside and slumped down on a chair across from Teaspoon’s desk.

"Lou, I know it ain’t been easy on you, bein’ caught in the middle like this," Teaspoon tried to comfort the distressed young woman.

"Teaspoon, I just don’t know what to do," Lou confessed, sighing audibly. "I feel like this is all my fault."

Teaspoon nodded sympathetically. "I s’pose there’s not much you can do, darlin’. All you can do is listen to your heart."

"But that’s the whole problem," she said, her dark brown eyes glassy with uncertainty. "I’m not so sure I can trust it anymore."

"I know that no amount of advice I give is gonna make it any easier," he began, "but you’ll figure it out in time. Matters of the heart are always the toughest to sort through. They always hurt the most at the time, but then, when things work out, they can offer the greatest rewards ever known."

"I hope your right, Teaspoon," Lou replied. "I really do. ’Cause I don’t know how long I can stand feelin’ like this. And now with Kid and Jimmy fightin’ tomorrow..." She shook her head, unable to finish the sentence. The thought itself was far too troubling. Looking to Teaspoon with pure desperation, she pled, "Isn’t there somethin’ you can do to stop this?"

Raising his eyebrows so that they seemed to disappear underneath his raggedy black hat, Teaspoon gave Lou a serious look. "Do you think it would really change the way anyone feels?"

Lou thought about the question, seeing Teaspoon’s wisdom written all over it. "No, I guess not. But at least they wouldn’t be punchin’ each other in the face." She signed with exasperation.

Just then, Lou thought of a way that Teaspoon could stop the fight, and her expression suddenly perked up. "Teaspoon, doesn’t the contract we all signed when we joined the Pony Express say somethin’ about not fightin’ with fellow employees?" She began to get hopeful.

"Yes," he said, wondering what she was getting at.

"Well, that means you can stop the fight," Lou told him, her eyes shining with optimism. "All you have to do is tell Kid ‘n’ Jimmy that fighting is against company rules and ain’t allowed!"

"Now Lou, do you really want me to tell them that they can’t fight or else I’ll fire ‘em?" Teaspoon attempted to make her see things a little differently.

"No, I don’t want ‘em to be fired. But, maybe, if you just say they might be fired?"

"If you want to be technical about it," Teaspoon began, "Kid ‘n’ Jimmy ain’t really fightin’ each other, they’re engagin’ in a boxin’ competition. ‘Sides, we both know how company rules tend to get bent ‘round here."

Lou understood his meaning. After all, they’d all been bending company rules ever since the discovery that she was not a boy. Knowing that angle wouldn’t work for her, Lou recognized the fact that she was beaten. The fight would go on tomorrow as planned. Neither she nor Teaspoon would be able to do anything to stop it.

"I guess you’re right," she finally conceded.

"I’m sorry, darlin’. I don’t want this fight to go on any more than you do," he admitted. "But I’m afraid we won’t be able to stop it no matter what we say or do. Their prides wouldn’t allow us."

"Pride." Lou huffed, frustrated. "What good is it when it turns you against your best friend?"

"It might seem that way to us, but to Kid ‘n’ Jimmy, right now it’s the only thing that counts," Teaspoon stated. "Sometimes, the heart tends to twist a man’s sense of priorities all up in knots. Makes him lose sight of what’s really important to him."

"I know, Teaspoon." Lou buried her head in her hands for a moment, as if wishing all that had happened since Fort Laramie to vanish from her existence forever. "I just wish things would go back to the way they were. But somehow, I don’t think they ever will."

"Probably not. But sometimes diff’rent can also mean better," he mentioned, trying to offer Lou a tiny bit of hope and comfort. "Just give it some time, Lou."

Rising from her chair, Lou managed a weak smile to the man who served as her good friend and mentor, something that seemed so rare lately. "Thanks, Teaspoon," she said gratefully. "I only hope you’re right."

Lou turned to leave and closed the office door behind her. Teaspoon rested back in his chair, his chest heaving greatly as he sympathized with the female rider’s plight.

"I hope so, too," Teaspoon muttered to himself. "I hope so, too."

---

Chapter 11

The day of the Rock Creek picnic finally arrived, and while most of the townsfolk had been eagerly awaiting the day and were filled with excitement, Lou was only filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. All of her attempts to put a stop to the fight that would occur between Jimmy and Kid had been in vain. She didn’t even know if she could bring herself to witness the impending violence, yet a part of her wouldn’t let her stay away.

The competitions were held throughout the day, some beginning before lunchtime. Cody and Noah were both victorious in their events, winning $10 prizes for the distance shooting and roping competitions, respectively. The big boxing match was to start immediately after the lunch picnic. There were sixteen men total who entered the boxing contest, and after each round was fought, there would be a break before the winners would fight their next match. After four levels of elimination, the champion would be declared and be awarded the big $25 prize.

The picnic was a virtual smorgasbord, complete with baskets of fried chicken and every type of dessert and side dish imaginable. Lou found she didn’t have the appetite for anything. Her stomach was like a tight ball being squeezed and twisted around inside her. Neither Jimmy nor Kid ate lunch either, fearing that a full belly would merely slow them down once they entered the ring.

Two matches were already completed, and it was almost time for Jimmy and Kid’s turn. They didn’t care so much about advancing to the next round or winning the prize money; they only wanted to settle the score between them.

Lou, Ike, and Buck gathered close to the ring that had been erected just off the main road through town. It was simply an area that had been cordoned off by four massive, cut logs with rope strung between them to form a square ring. Since he was the town marshal, Teaspoon had the honor of presiding over the competition, signaling when the fight would start, timing the individual rounds, and counting down the knockout.

Stepping into the middle of the ring, Teaspoon held out his hands to get the attention of all the spectators who would be observing the match. Jimmy and Kid stood in opposite corners, removing their outer shirts so their freedom of movement would not be hindered in any way. Noah was positioned just outside the ring in Jimmy’s corner while Cody was in Kid’s. They would help to towel off and re-hydrate the rivals between rounds, though it was understood by all that Noah and Cody were completely impartial.

Ready to fight, Kid and Jimmy exchanged hard, icy glares from across the ring, their fists clenching in preparation, until Teaspoon motioned for them to come to the center where he stood. He told the contenders to shake hands, but they both refused, their faces holding steely, dagger-like expressions.

"Alright," Teaspoon reluctantly began, glancing back and forth between the two opponents. "As you probably know by now, the rounds will last three minutes apiece with a thirty-second timeout in between. You’ll fight till there’s only one man left standin’ after the count of ten. Let’s have a clean fight, no hittin’ below the belt."

He paused a moment before the fight would commence, sighing heavily at the thought of two of ‘his boys’ fighting like this. But Teaspoon knew there was nothing he could do to stop it, and he continued his speech. "Good luck to you both, and may the best man win."

Lou held her breath as Teaspoon moved out from between Jimmy and Kid and the fight was underway. The two began shifting and dancing around the ring for several long moments before anyone took a swing. Jimmy was on his toes, circling first to the right and then to the left, with the Kid walking after him, trying to cut off the ring. Finally, Kid moved in, his face scrunched up with anger, and brought his right fist up hard against his opponent’s jaw for the first blow of the match. Lou was left cringing at the sickening cracking sound it made.

Jimmy was able to quickly recover from the stun and proceeded to go at the Kid with a series of alternating hand double hooks, first to the head and then to the body. After several fierce punches, Kid appeared temporarily winded but regained his bearings enough to sneak in a left-hand uppercut that buckled Jimmy. Propelled along with the force of the blow, Jimmy increased his distance, his fists raised in front of his face defensively.

The two men continued to assail each other in the ring with harsh jabs and blows, each trying to gain the advantage. Jimmy managed to land several right-hand punches that would have been enough to send most men sputtering to the ground. But Kid absorbed the blows and held firm, fending off Jimmy’s flailing fists with everything he had in him. Just before Teaspoon called the end of the first round, Kid landed the best punch thus far as he hit his competitor with a left hook. Fortunately for Jimmy, it was a grazing shot and didn’t land flush, otherwise, the fight might well have been over.

Jimmy and Kid retreated to their respective corners for a short break before the next round began. Cody sponged off the blood that had already begun to drip from the Kid’s nose, while Noah ladled water down Jimmy’s throat. Already, everyone could tell it was going to be a tough and dirty battle.

"Time!" Teaspoon announced the end of the timeout, and the two men rose from their corners to begin the second round.

The adrenaline now pumping through his veins with full force, Jimmy wasted no time and took the offensive right from the start with a clean right uppercut that left the Kid completely dazed. While Kid struggled to keep his balance, Jimmy continued his relentless assault, landing a couple more solid jabs to the jaw. Kid simply stood in front of his opponent taking everything he threw square on the chin until the impact of Jimmy’s bare fist against his face was enough to rip the flesh open.

Lou gasped when she saw the crimson that was staining both the Kid’s face and Jimmy’s hand. Covering her eyes with her fingers, she shook her head, unsure how much more of this brutally she could stomach. Buck realized the extreme uneasiness Lou was experiencing while watching the two men she cared for the most bashing each other’s faces and bodies with such savage intensity. Putting his arm around her shoulder, he tried to settle his distraught friend while the battle in the ring raged on.

Ignoring the blood spewing from the gaping cut on his chin, Kid simply grew even more enraged and pursued Jimmy around the arena with a look on his face that could shoot sparks. Once again, the momentum of the match switched back in favor of Kid. And as the seconds ticked down in the round, Kid managed to finish with a good right-left hook combination followed by a wicked counter hook that sent Jimmy staggering backwards towards the ropes. Thankfully, he was saved by the bell once again as Teaspoon called the end of the round.

Round three began with both men on their toes in a prelude to the brutal ballet that would follow for the next seven rounds. Jimmy started out more cautious and tentative than he had the previous round, believing that he had come out too strong only to run out of fuel towards the end. He would not make that mistake again, he thought. He used his jab and attempted to keep the Kid at bay, clinching every time he came near. The fighters soon clashed heads, and Kid threw a left-hand punch that sent Jimmy’s head whipping back. When Jimmy recovered and tossed his hair out of his face, Lou saw that he had been cut above his right eye, though she was unsure if the gash was caused by the collision of skulls or by the punch. Either way, Lou feared that if they kept going at this pace, they would end up killing each other.

The round progressed with Jimmy throwing rights and lefts, hooks and uppercuts, and everything else in his repertoire, yet Kid still managed to stay on his feet. Rather than continue to cover up, Kid jumped out and slammed a hard hook to the body followed up with a sound right punch that sent the sweat spraying off of Jimmy’s head. But Jimmy countered when he immediately whistled a fast overhand right that grazed his competitor’s jaw. The third round ended with an exchange of hard rights to the Kid’s body.

Jimmy resumed his onslaught in the next rounds, outperforming Kid who again, landed a few counter hooks as well as a sneaky jab or two. He hit Kid with a damaging hook to begin round six, and Kid placed himself in an even more precarious situation and backed into a corner. As he covered up, Jimmy steamed a left-right series of bone-crushing body blows to the ribs and followed with an unexpected uppercut to the head.

Kid was not about to give up, however. Instead, he waded in and pinpointed a combination through Jimmy’s fists. Kid managed to get himself out of the corner with this opening and landed a bruising pair of punches to Jimmy’s head and torso. Then, he managed to force Jimmy up against the ropes and returned the favor, painting him with an assortment of head and body blows.

Eventually, Lou decided she had witnessed enough of the violence and left before the end, unable to tolerate any more bloodshed. Teaspoon watched as she tore through the crowd of spectators and ran off. Kid and Jimmy were too engrossed in the match to even take notice. All that mattered to them was the raw fury burning inside and the all-consuming sense of survival that was both primal and blinding.

The brutality waged on for a total of ten rounds. Just when it seemed that Jimmy had taken a punch that no other man would have been able to withstand, he would retaliate with as much or even more force than before, and vice versa. Both fighters gave it all they had, until not much more remained.

Approaching a half-hour of nearly non-stop combat, both men’s feet grew heavier and slower, and blows became more infrequent. Jimmy had taken so many right-hand cuts from Kid that there was no real power behind his own punches anymore. Anytime Kid got close enough, he would rip hard multi-hook combinations to Jimmy’s upper body. And Jimmy, who displayed unexpected quickness on occasion during the fight and rash clumsiness at others, was only able to try a few lunging jabs at Kid’s stomach.

Jimmy saw his opportunity opening up, however, and he was able to land a few counter left hooks to Kid’s head as he kept aiming punches at Jimmy’s body. The Kid had been caught off-guard, and his increasing fatigue had greatly slowed down his reflexes. Hoping to put an end to the fight once and for all, Jimmy snaked a jarring left hook around the clenched fists of Kid, landing flush on the jaw and snapping his head back violently. The ferocity of the punch caused Kid to buckle, but he managed to stay on his feet even though he had to squat down momentarily. From his lowered position, Kid countered with a shattering right-hand blow to the ribs that left Jimmy off-balance and gasping for air, close to the point of falling to the ground. Totally winded, Jimmy staggered backward into the ropes, quickly followed by Kid who was equally huffing and puffing for breath.

The match ended with an exchange of a few more random punches that missed their marks entirely, as both bruised and battered contenders collapsed on each other in utter exhaustion. Their bodies went crashing to the ground simultaneously with a hint of a smile on their swollen, purpling faces.

Teaspoon began counting while the crowd looked on in confusion. "One, two, three, four..."

"What’s he doin’?" someone wondered. "They’re both down!"

"...five, six, seven, eight..." The officiator continued as Jimmy and Kid lay on their backs in the dirt, chests heaving. "...nine, ten! This match is declared over, and no one wins! Both men are down ‘n’ out!"

---

Chapter 12

Lou returned late that evening after she’d gone off riding. She had hoped to find some solace -- some peace -- by getting out and going for a ride, feeling the powerful rhythmic movements of her horse beneath her draw her mind further and further from the world surrounding her and more into her own inner sanctum. Yet her time away only seemed to compound her growing sense of confusion and feeling of isolation.

As Lou rode, images of that awful fight went flashing through her mind. Kid and Jimmy engaged in their own private civil war...the thought sickened her almost as much as the vision of their battered faces. Something broke inside Lou as she’d stared at their bruised and bloody faces. The wicked cut across Kid’s chin tore at her heart, and the raw welt oozing over Jimmy’s left eye made her ache.

When she finally came back to the station and walked into the bunkhouse it was long past sunset. Cody informed her of the outcome of the boxing match, that neither Kid nor Jimmy had won because they both went down at the same time. But Lou didn’t seem to find any measure of relief in that at all.

Having no appetite whatsoever, Lou politely declined the plate of supper that Rachel had set aside for her and simply crawled into bed, wishing that when she awoke the next morning it would have all been just a bad dream. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at Kid and Jimmy as they sat at the table, Rachel still tending to their wounds. She’d seen their faces earlier, and the mere recollection still disturbed her greatly. Lou could only imagine how badly bruised their bodies were beneath their undershirts.

That night Lou was unable to fall asleep as she’d hoped and spent most of the night lying awake in bed, pondering the mysteries of her own heart. She could not figure out when and how things had gotten so muddled. There was a time not long ago when it all seemed so simple and uncomplicated. Where had those days gone, Lou wondered.

She remembered when she was with Kid, and though she was in love with him at the time, she never quite got over the feeling that something was missing between them. Lou had believed when they consummated their relationship that all the pieces would fall into place...that all the intangibles she’d been searching for would miraculously be found. But that didn’t happen. In fact, after they’d made love for the first time, Lou was somehow filled with a strange sense of loss and emptiness inside even as her heart beat with love for Kid. It was something she couldn’t explain, as were the tears that fell that night.

But then, Lou’s mind traveled back for the hundredth time to that night by the fire with Jimmy. She remembered the way the flickering flames danced on his skin. Her gaze had swept over the handsome face, the mouth so firm, the lean planes so strong, filled with a combination of toughness and vulnerability, the eyes so devastatingly, brutally hard and yet alive, alight...and searching.

She recalled the delicious sensations that had ignited inside her when Jimmy’s lips captured hers, leaving her electrified and shaken and hungry for more. Everything around Lou had vanished in that moment, everything but the feel and taste and raw strength of him, the savage intimacy that she’d never known with another human being, even the Kid. In a matter of seconds, that one kiss had turned her entire world upside down and rocked all of her certainties, turning them into a puddle of doubts.

Turning in her bunk so that her back now faced the wall, Lou's night-accustomed eyes surveyed the room. The opalescent glow of the moon streaming into the bunkhouse cast eerie shadows on everything and everybody it touched. Reflexively, she glanced across the way at Jimmy. He lay asleep on his back, the bruises on his face a shimmering greenish-blue in the ghostly moonlight. In her weariness, Lou wondered if she were to walk over to him and caress his cheek if he would awaken. Her heart cried out in anguish, constricting painfully in her chest, but she quickly flipped back around, forcing herself to look away from him. Her body now shaking in silent sobs, Lou buried her face in her pillow to muffle the sound of falling tears.

She didn't know how long she lay there weeping like she'd never done before. But as last star began to fade away into the first pale pink light of dawn, Lou found sleep at last.

---

Chapter 13

The next evening, all of the riders were busy preparing for the big dance. Everyone except Ike and Lou, that is. Lou was not going for obvious reasons, but Ike was a different matter. He and Emily had a minor falling out after her barn was burned down the other day. Ike strongly suspected that Neville had his hand in it to pay her father back for calling him a cheat that day in the saloon. Unfortunately, Teaspoon had no evidence pointing to Neville, and even Emily said that she didn’t see who set the fire. She was angry with herself for not being more vigilant, and she ended up shutting Ike out when he tried to help.

Following the boxing match, Jimmy and Kid appeared to at least be acting politely towards one another, although they refused to acknowledge any kind of resolution between them. They treated each other with a careful respect, but remained distant and reserved toward each other. It was obvious that the two had regained a measure of esteem for each other, but they simply would not admit it. They were just as stubborn as ever.

Jimmy stood in front of the tiny mirror on the bunkhouse wall as he attempted to get his string tie to look just so. Stopping midway, he leaned in closer and examined the bruises and scabs on his face. His skin looked like a kaleidoscope of deep blues, purples, and reds. He touched his swollen left eye with his finger and flinched, still finding it extremely tender despite having had a cold beefsteak on it for hours the night before with the hopes that some of the puffiness would subside.

Approaching Jimmy and moving to stand beside him, Kid also leaned in toward the mirror to investigate his own battle scars. He looked just as bad as Jimmy.

Kid couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh at the image of the two of them together in the mirror, looking equally battered and bruised. "We sure are a sight, ain’t we, Jimmy?"

Jimmy nodded in agreement, the corners of his mouth turning up to form a hint of a smile. It was the first time the two of them had really spoken to each other since the fight, and it appeared that much of the former hostility between them had abated.

"I don’t know why I’m even botherin’ to go this dance," Jimmy said, frustrated at how badly his face looked as well as how crooked his tie was. Huffing, he pulled the knot out and decided to start all over again.

"Have you talked to Lou yet?" Jimmy asked Kid, a note of caution in his voice.

Kid simply dropped his gaze and shook his head. "No. Buck says she’s not goin’ tonight."

Surprised, Jimmy turned around to face the Kid. "What? Why not?"

"Why do you think?" was Kid’s terse reply.

The reason was apparent. Lou had taken everything so hard...the silence, the fight. She felt to blame for it all, so it was understandable that the last thing on her mind would be going to a dance and being around other folks who were enjoying themselves. Not when she felt so miserable.

"I guess you’re right," Jimmy conceded, having realized Kid’s point. "We haven’t exactly been givin’ her too much reason to celebrate."

"I know. It sure would’ve been nice to see her get to wear a dress again," Kid sighed.

"Yeah," Jimmy agreed with a nod. "It’s been a long time since she’s had a chance to enjoy herself like that."

Jimmy turned back to face the mirror and made one last attempt at getting his tie look right. Lost in his own thoughts, he began staring blankly at his own reflection. Kid's statement caused him to remember back to the last time that he’d seen Lou wear a dress. Jimmy could see clearly the wonderful look of surprise on Lou’s face when he bought her that dress. One smile from her, and he felt as if he were on top of the world. They’d shared dinner and a dance that night in Willow Springs shortly after she and Kid had broken up. Jimmy tried to make her feel better; he wanted to make her forget about the hurt she felt when Kid started courting the new schoolteacher, Samantha. And maybe a little part of Jimmy wanted to forget about being Wild Bill Hickok, if only for one evening.

Jimmy was finally brought out of his reverie when Cody butted in front of him, wanting a chance to use the mirror himself. "Do you mind, Jimmy? You been hoggin’ the mirror for far too long," he whined. "There are others who need to get ready for the dance."

Giving up on getting his tie perfect, Jimmy reluctantly moved out of the way. "Go ahead, Cody. You need all the help you can get," he teased.

Cody was irritated at the comment, but he soon became engrossed in his primping. He combed his hair back away from his face so that it was smooth and shining. "Just eat your hearts out, ladies," he said to himself, flashing his cocky, signature grin.

Ike had been sitting in his bunk listening to the entire exchange between Kid and Jimmy. He knew that Lou had decided not to attend the dance, so he slipped out of the bunkhouse and went to find her to convince her otherwise.

Lou was sitting on the edge of the corral fence, looking off into the sunset. Her face held a concentrated expression as she mulled over the tumultuous events of the day when Ike approached her. He tapped her on her shoulder gently to get her attention. She looked at him, and Ike could tell that she’d been crying. Ike had never seen her look so depressed, and frankly, he was very worried about her.

Why aren’t you going to the dance? Ike signed.

"I just don’t feel like it, Ike," she sniffled. "I’m really not in the mood for dancin’."

You should go, he tried to tell her. You’ll have fun and then you’ll feel better.

"Somehow I doubt that," Lou sighed. "What about you? Why aren’t you goin’ with Emily?"

She was upset after her barn was burned down, Ike said with gestures. She said she didn’t want to go, but I’m still hoping to change her mind.

"Oh," Lou nodded. "Well, I hope you can convince her to go. I’m sure Emily didn’t mean to take it out on you."

He nodded. Please go to the dance, Ike pleaded with her silently.

Her brow furrowed in confusion, Lou asked him, "Why is it so important to you that I go?" She could see the sincerity in his eyes, but she didn’t understand why he felt so insistent that she go.

Because I want you to be happy.

Lou smiled sweetly at the earnestness of Ike’s words. She was touched that he wanted to help her, and the way his eyes were imploring, she knew she had to give in.

"Alright, Ike," she nodded. "I’ll go to the dance. If it means that much to you." Ike smiled at her, glad to finally see glimpses of the old Lou shining through. "I guess I should go in and get myself ready."

Lou hopped down from the fence and started to walk away towards the bunkhouse. When she got to the porch, she turned back around to face Ike before going inside. "Thank you, Ike. Emily’s a very lucky lady."

He grinned at her bashfully before she opened the door and disappeared inside.

---

Chapter 14

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from the episode "In the Presence of Mine Enemies".

Lou walked into the bunkhouse and went directly over to her bunk without saying a word to anyone. The boys were all putting on their finishing touches before the dance, but when they saw Lou enter, all eyes turned to watch her. She bent down and opened up the trunk at the foot of the bed, pulling out a dark blue, floral-patterned dress with white eyelet lace peeking out at the sleeves. Jimmy recognized it immediately as the dress he had bought for her in Willow Springs.

She fingered the soft cotton material and smiled to herself. Lou now fully realized what she’d been so willing to give up only moments before. She was going to the dance, she determined, and she was going to have fun.

Spinning around to face the others, the dress held up against her chest, she said with a teasing smile, "Do y’all mind givin’ me some privacy while I get ready for the dance?"

Immediately, Lou took on a radiant glow that had been missing from her face for far too long. The entire mood of the bunkhouse and everyone in it was suddenly elevated when they saw the smile return to her lips. Now, they all knew it truly was going to be a celebration.

"Sure, Lou, take all the time you need," Noah answered for them all.

Glad to see Lou’s spirits on the mend, the boys went outside the bunkhouse and eagerly waited on the porch while Lou changed into her dress for the dance.

Minutes later, Lou emerged from the bunkhouse, and the men’s smiles could not be contained. She looked lovely; there was no denying that fact. The vision of her wearing the dress, which accentuated her slim feminine figure perfectly, only served to prove how blind they all had been to allow themselves to be fooled into believing she was a boy. Noah even took it upon himself to let out a whistle, causing Lou’s cheeks to flush prettily.

"You look beautiful, Lou," Kid told her.

"You’ll be the belle of the ball," Jimmy said.

"Thanks," she smiled, warmed to her core at their compliments. Just the fact that they were speaking to her was enough to send a rush of joy to her heart. "Just make sure you remember that tonight it’s Louise, not Lou. We have to make sure the folks in town don't realize I'm Lou, the Pony Express rider."

"I, for one, don’t think you’ll have any trouble foolin’ the folks in this town," Noah commented.

Ike then started signing furiously, and Buck translated for him. "Ike wants us all to pose so he can make a sketch while we’re all dressed up."

"But Ike, we’ll be late for the dance," Cody protested.

It won’t take long, I promise, Ike replied with his hands.

"Oh, alright," Cody huffed as they all headed back inside the bunkhouse. "I guess it’s better to be a bit late. That way, I can make a more fashionable entrance."

Noah rolled his eyes at the blond rider. Leave it to Cody to turn the situation around like that.

The six riders lined up inside the bunkhouse to pose for Ike’s sketch. Noah, Buck, and Cody stood in the back while Kid, Lou, and Jimmy pulled up chairs and sat in front of them. Everyone was dressed in his or her best clothes, hair neatly arranged. They sat as still as they could for as long as they could, but soon, they began to get fidgety.

"Ike, I’m gettin’ tired sittin’ here," Lou complained.

"Ike, how long’s this gonna take?" Jimmy wondered.

"I been smilin’ so long I don’t think I can stop," Kid commented, tugging at his shirt collar.

"That’s okay, Kid. I’m sure the girls’ll love it," Lou replied sarcastically as she brought a brush up to smooth her hair.

Ike motioned for her to put the brush down and sit still again.

"Alright, alright," she sighed.

"Ike, you sure you don’t wanna come along now?" Noah questioned him. Now that Lou was going to the dance, it seemed wrong for Ike not to go as well.

"Yeah," Jimmy agreed, "just ‘cause Emily ain’t comin’ don’t mean you can’t have a good time."

Ike simply continued his drawing, choosing not to acknowledge the riders’ probing about his not going to the dance. Moments later, he placed the pencil down and looked at the piece of paper to check for completeness.

"Is that it?" Kid asked with anticipation.

Ike nodded, smiling broadly.

"Finally!" Cody said, as he and the others moved from their respective positions to see the final product.

While everyone was leaned over the table giving their approval of Ike’s drawing, the bunkhouse door opened and Teaspoon walked in, dressed in his finery. Upon seeing Lou in her dress, he smiled knowingly and bowed to her in a courtly manner.

"Miss Louise," he asked, "would you give me the honor of bein’ your escort to this evenin’s festivities?" Teaspoon held his hand out to her, looking every bit the gentleman.

Lou blushed and smiled at him, dropping her gaze to the floor for a moment. "Why of course." She accepted his hand, and the two of them walked out of the bunkhouse and headed to the dance together with Kid, Jimmy, Noah, Buck, and Cody following closely behind.

Ike waved goodbye to them and then went back inside to examine his drawing. He grinned to himself, proud of his work and in the improvements he’d made in a relatively short period of time. Then, he changed into his best clothes and slipped out to the stable to hitch up the buckboard.

---

Chapter 15

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from the episode "In the Presence of Mine Enemies".

The sounds of music and laughter bounced off the rafters in the town hall as nearly every soul living in and around Rock Creek gathered there to dance, eat, socialize, and just have a good time. Everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves, even Lou, or Louise, as she was to be called that night.

For the first time in nearly a month, Lou found that all of her troubles and doubts had vanished with the summer breeze, at least temporarily, and she was infinitely grateful for the opportunity to smile and laugh and let go of her worries. People couldn’t help but to take notice of Lou’s radiant facial expression as she whirled around the room with Teaspoon. Some of the folks at the dance, especially some of the young gentlemen, had begun inquiring about the new girl in town.

"Who’s that pretty gal in the blue dress?" one fellow asked another.

"Never seen her before," he responded with a shrug.

"She’s just passin’ through," Jimmy lied to them.

"Leavin’ tomorrow morning," the Kid added in confirmation.

He and Jimmy had overheard the other men wondering who she was, and their protective, and even slightly jealous, natures took over.

Just then, Ike entered the room with Emily Metcalf on his arm. Kid, Jimmy, and Noah all stood dumbstruck, realizing that Ike had merely tricked them into thinking he was not attending the dance. Instead, he was there with his dancing shoes on and one of the most attractive young ladies in town by his side.

"That no-good, lyin’ snake," Noah muttered with a smirk on his lips.

---

But what started off as a wonderful evening quickly turned into the beginning of the worst nightmare imaginable. During the dance while everyone was having the time of their lives, Mr. Metcalf decided to settle his score with Neville. Outside the saloon, Metcalf drew on the man who had terrorized him and burnt down his barn, but when his gun jammed, Neville used the opportunity to his advantage, firing off a quick shot. It was a fatal one, and Emily’s father died almost instantly.

Emily was left alone and utterly devastated. Ike and Buck did their best to comfort her and ease her through the difficult time. Everyone wanted to see justice served in her father’s death, but unfortunately, the one witness to the shooting corroborated Neville’s claim that Metcalf fired first. Embittered and angry at the unfairness, the fiery young woman decided to take matters into her own hands in the form of vengeance. Shortly after her father’s funeral, Emily decided to take a trip to town in search of Neville...

Inside the bunkhouse, Lou was hanging up the picture that Ike had sketched of her and the other riders just before the dance. Cody came over and examined it, giving his approval.

"Looks real nice," the blond rider said.

"See?" Lou turned to Buck and Ike. Ike was still being overly critical of his own artistic abilities, but hearing Cody praise the sketch definitely helped boost his self-confidence. Such a compliment from Cody was a rare occasion.

"How was the funeral?" Cody asked Buck, putting his rifle away on his bunk.

"Fine, for a funeral," was Buck’s solemn reply.

Nodding in understanding, Cody said, "I saw Emily in town a few minutes ago. She was headed towards the saloon." He slipped his fringed jacket off and continued, "Said hello to her, she acted like she didn’t even hear me."

Suddenly, Ike realized what was happening, or what he hoped hadn’t already happened, and he ran out of the bunkhouse with a frenzied look on his face.

"Ike!" Buck cried out after his friend.

"Ike?" Lou also shouted with grave concern in her manner.

At once, the rest of the riders begin dashing out of the bunkhouse after Ike. Kid and Jimmy had abandoned their card game, and Jimmy instinctively grabbed his second ivory-handled Colt as reinforcement before he headed out.

"Ike!" Buck yelled once more as they scurried through the streets of Rock Creek on their way to the saloon.

Just inside the saloon doors, Emily stood with her gun pointed at Neville.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" he scoffed at her, thinking her incapable of pulling the trigger and killing him in cold blood. "I thought you knew how to use that thing."

Emily hesitated. And in less than the blink of an eye, Ike ran into the saloon and pushed her out of the way right as Neville’s gun was fired. He had been just in time force Emily out of the path of the bullet; only he could not save himself as well. Ike had been shot in the chest, and the others were too late.

---

Chapter 16

When Ike died, a significant piece of everyone who knew him and considered him family seemed to go right along with him. He had been a part of their lives for just over a year, and they had all shared so much together in a seemingly short period of time. It was hard for the Pony Express family to believe that Ike could be gone from them forever. It all felt surreal somehow...Ike’s last breath in the doctor’s office, the funeral pyre, the emptiness in the bunkhouse without him.

All of the riders were having a difficult time dealing with the loss of their beloved friend and were struggling to find ways to cope and move forward. Understandably, Buck was having the toughest time of all. He had been Ike’s best friend and had known him since they were young teenagers living in the same mission school and orphanage. Growing up as misfits, it had been just the two of them against what felt like the rest of the world, so the bond between them was strong, unbreakable. Without Ike, Buck was a wondering soul, lost in a world that suddenly seemed so much bigger, colder, and lonelier than ever before.

After Ike was shot and killed by Neville, Buck was shattered and hungry for revenge. Against the advice of Teaspoon, he went after the man who’d taken away his best friend, shooting and killing him in cold blood. Maybe some form of justice had been served, but it wasn’t enough. It never would be because Ike was gone forever, and nothing could bring him back.

Though not as close to Ike as Buck had been, Lou was just as distraught. She felt completely isolated in her despair because the people whom she’d felt closest to seemed to be shutting her out in their own attempts to deal with the loss. Jimmy became distant once more, drawing himself up into his shell. Kid was in such shock that he, too, was emotionally unavailable to help Lou through the difficult time. Nothing had ever truly been resolved between the three of them, and with Ike’s death throwing everything in a tailspin, Lou feared that they never would be. The existing tension had only compounded when the grief over Ike entered into the situation.

When Rachel and Jesse returned from St. Joseph, Teaspoon immediately informed them of the tragic news. Rachel could not believe how quickly everything had disintegrated in the time that they were gone. It was all too unbelievable to be real. It felt like a cloud of darkness was hovering over their home in Rock Creek, and everyone wondered when it would go away.

With Rachel back, Lou finally felt as if she had someone to talk to and confide all the emotions she was fighting to work through...everything from her failing relationships with Kid and Jimmy to her despair over Ike. Lou had been carrying those burdens alone for so long that she took advantage of the first opportunity she got to speak with Rachel and bare her soul of her troubles.

"Rachel, I just feel so lost," Lou confessed one night as the two women sat on the porch swing talking. "What with everythin’ that’s happened with Kid ‘n’ Jimmy...and now Ike..." She shook her head, unable to complete the sentence.

"I know it’s hard, but it’s just gonna take some time to get through all this, honey," Rachel tried to comfort her. "Life has to go on."

"I know," Lou sighed. "In the meantime, though, it seems like everythin’s fallin’ apart." Her brow was creased with worry while her mind raced through all that had happened in the past month. "Things have changed, Rachel. I’ve changed," she added with emphasis. "Somehow, I’m not sure where I fit in anymore."

Rachel listened to Lou with an attentive and sympathetic ear as they gently swayed back and forth in the late summer night air. They sipped tea as the silence wrapped itself around them like a shroud.

"I wish I could give you all the answers, Lou," the older woman finally said, "but this is somethin’ you need to figure out for yourself. We all need to find our own ways to deal with these trials life puts us through."

"I know," Lou nodded. "Thanks for listenin’ all the same."

Rachel smiled warmly, her eyes still laden with concern for her young friend. "You’re welcome, honey. Anytime." Rachel squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I know you’ll do the right thing."

---

That night, Lou remained awake thinking about everything that had transpired in the past month -- the dramatic changes that the course of her life had suddenly taken. Everything was so different. It was over between her and Kid, she knew, and it seemed that things with Jimmy had ended before they even had a chance to begin. Relations were civil between the three of them, yet still very strained. Lou felt so distant from them, and it hurt to think back to how close they had all been at one time.

And then there was Ike. Deer, sweet Ike. Lying in her bed, Lou glanced over to the empty bunk across the room, her heart aching with the loss. Ike had always been so quiet that, perhaps at times, his calming presence was taken for granted. Now, she and the others sensed such a tremendous void that he was gone, and the silence of that void was deafening even as the world around them was fast asleep.

Eventually, Lou came to the realization that she needed to get away. She had to clear her mind and attempt to leave all of her pain behind, at least for a little while. Nothing was working for her in Rock Creek, she concluded. Lou felt that she wasn’t the same person she was only a short time ago, and maybe some time out of her present environment would help put her back on track to reclaiming her life, as well as herself.

Having made up her mind to leave Rock Creek, Lou thought that she might go to St. Jo to visit her brother and sister. It had been far too long since she’d seen them, longer than she would like to admit. The more she contemplated it, the more everything seemed right. Lou had a pouch to take to Seneca the next day, and that was on the way to St. Jo. Maybe, she though, she’d drop off the pouch and then just keep heading east to St. Joseph.

The plan quickly took shape in her mind, and Lou decided that she would speak with Teaspoon first thing in the morning about taking some time off. For the first time in weeks, she was overtaken by a sense of certainty that she’d been lacking. Rachel’s words suddenly came to her, and Lou knew that she was doing the right thing.

---

The next morning after breakfast, Lou walked into the marshal’s office feeling and odd mixture of confidence and trepidation. She was sure in her choice to spend some time away from Rock Creek and reattach herself to her blood family, but she was anxious about embarking on a new course. She felt that she was a crossroads in her life, and the feeling of beginning something different could be both exhilarating and frightening all at once.

"Teaspoon, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

"Sure thing, Lou," Teaspoon replied. "Come on in and set a spell." Lou took a seat while he began to pour himself a cup of coffee. He then held out the pot to her. "Care for some?"

Lou shook her head. "No thanks, Teaspoon."

Pulling up a chair next to her, Teaspoon sat down. "So, what’s on your mind? Don’t you have a run scheduled to Seneca any minute now?"

"That’s what I came to talk to you about," she began.

Teaspoon’s forehead crinkled with confusion. "You wanna switch out of the run, is that it?" he surmised.

"No. I want to take the run," Lou assured him. "You see, I was hopin’ that I’d take the pouch to Seneca, and then keep going to St. Jo." She paused, moistening her lips with her tongue before explaining further. "I need some time off, Teaspoon. With everythin’ that’s happened...and then with Ike... I’d like to spend some time away. I figured I’d go to St. Jo and visit with my little brother ‘n’ sister. It’s been more than a year since I seen ‘em."

"Well, we’re short-staffed as it is, with Ike gone ‘n’ all." Teaspoon reached around and scratched the back of his neck, a pondering expression on his face.

"Teaspoon, I hate to put it this way, but if I can’t take the time off, then I’m afraid I’ll just have to quit." Lou was adamant in her request because she knew that she absolutely had to have this time away, for her own sanity.

"Look," Lou sighed, trying to make Teaspoon understand why she needed this so badly. "I know it ain’t been easy on any of us, and everyone’s still workin’ through their grief over Ike. And maybe it’s wrong of me to feel this way, but somehow, I feel that I’ve lost more than Ike. I’ve lost my best friends, Teaspoon. I need to be with family now, and somethin' tells me that maybe...maybe they need me, too."

Teaspoon could see the pleading in Lou’s velvet brown eyes. He knew she wouldn’t ask for anything unless she really needed it.

"How much time do you think you might need?" he asked, having already decided in his own mind to let her go.

"I can’t say for sure," Lou told him bluntly. "I need to get some things sorted out before I can come back here. I don’t know how long it might take. I only know it’s what I need to do right now. I hope you can understand that."

Teaspoon sighed but nodded, giving both his consent and his blessing. "Alright, Lou. We all need some time away ev’ry now ‘n’ then. Time to figure out our feelin’s and find what’s in our hearts."

"Thanks, Teaspoon," Lou responded gratefully. "I want you to know how much I appreciate this."

"I just hope you find what you’re lookin’ for out there," he told her, patting her on the shoulder reassuringly as they both rose from their chairs. "Make sure you send word on how you’re doin’."

"I will."

Lou turned to leave, but then she remembered something else she needed to mention. "One more thing, Teaspoon. Could you not say anythin’ to the others just yet? I kinda wanted to tell ‘em in my own way."

"If that’s how you want it," he reluctantly agreed. "Ride safe, Lou."

"Thanks again, Teaspoon. For everythin’."

And then Lou turned and walked away.

---

Chapter 17

While preparing for her run to Seneca, Lou had managed to pack the few extra things she would need for the trip to St. Jo without arousing anyone’s suspicion. She figured she would need a couple of shirts, another pair of pants, and also her dress. It all rolled up neatly and discretely in her bedroll. With the exception of Teaspoon, no one would know that she would not return to Rock Creek after her run until they found the letters she wrote.

Lou sensed that Teaspoon did not really understand why she didn’t want the others to know that she was leaving. But somehow, she didn’t feel like facing them, especially Kid and Jimmy. Not yet, at least. She believed that Kid would try to convince her to stay, and Jimmy...well, Lou didn’t know how Jimmy would react. He probably would not say anything, she decided, but simply bury it all inside like he always did.

By the time she’d be well on her way to Seneca, everyone would know. Lou had sneaked out of the bunkhouse long before sunrise that morning and went to the barn to compose the letters she would leave. She wrote a general letter addressed to everyone; she would leave that on the bunkhouse table. She also wrote Jimmy and Kid each specific letters that she would place on their bunks. Lou hoped they would read her words with open hearts and open minds, and that they would come to understand why she felt so adamant about taking a hiatus.

---

A cloud of dust tore through the streets of Rock Creek and was making its way to the edge of town to the Pony Express station.

"Rider comin’!" Lou heard as she was saddling Lightning in the barn.

The sound of straw crunching beneath heavy boots caused Lou to look up from her task. It was Jimmy. The breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, and her heart began to ache slightly. Wordlessly, he approached her, standing just on the other side of Lightning, and helped tighten the straps around her horse. Kid was a few minutes ahead of schedule, but between the two of them, Lou would be ready to go in no time at all.

"Thanks, Jimmy," Lou said to him.

"Glad to help," he replied with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Their eyes met for but an instant, and then Jimmy’s focus dropped down to the buckle he was working on. Lou’s eyes, however, remained transfixed on him. She took in every detail of his face, from the chocolate silken strands of his hair, to the masculine angularity of his cheekbones and jaw. She knew it might be a very long time before she'd see him again, and the sadness tugged at her heart and a longing consumed her when Jimmy looked back up to find her staring at him.

Their gazes stayed locked for a few moments, though it seemed much longer, this strange and unspoken power suddenly flooding all of her senses. His nearness, the solid strength and virility of him, assailed her and seemed to make breathing difficult. Temporarily overwhelmed with emotion, Lou wondered if Jimmy could read her thoughts.

Lou hated to leave, and seeing Jimmy right before she was about to go was making it much harder than she had anticipated. But deep inside, she knew it was what she needed to do. So, she steeled herself up once more, and she forced herself to look away.

The horse now saddled and ready, she and Jimmy walked out of the barn together.

Kid was riding in fast on Katy, and Lou realized that she only had a few precious seconds left. In one sweeping motion, she mounted Lightning and then placed her hat on her head, securing the chinstrap.

"Ride safe, Lou," Jimmy told her as Kid came within thirty feet of them, the pouch already dangling from his hand.

"You take care of yourself, Jimmy," she said, fighting the growing sense of loss welling up inside of her.

Moments later, she spurred her horse into a full gallop and reached out to Kid for the handoff. Jimmy wrinkled his brow subtly, confused about the cryptic goodbye that Lou had just given him.

"Ride safe, Lou!" Kid called out after her, pulling Katy to a halt beside Jimmy.

Jimmy did not even acknowledge the Kid. He simply stood there watching Lou, wondering why he felt so strange all of the sudden.

"Somethin’ wrong, Jimmy?" Kid asked when he noticed the dazed look on his face.

Shaking his head slightly, his focus still on Lou’s figure moving further and further away from him, he replied, "I don’t know. Maybe."

Unable to shake the peculiar feelings stirring within him, Jimmy continued to watch as the horse and rider began to shrink on the horizon. Before Lou was completely out of sight, he could swear that he saw her turn around briefly and wave at him and Kid, only to be swallowed up in a ball of dust.

---

"I can’t believe Lou would just up and leave without sayin' goodbye," Rachel said with a heavy heart.

"Well, Rachel," Teaspoon explained, "Lou came to me this mornin’ and said she needed some time off. She said she didn’t want me to tell anyone just yet, that she had to do it in her own way."

"I know she’s seen unhappy lately, I just never thought she’d leave," the woman conceded.

"She did leave a note," Teaspoon reminded her, wanting to give some sort of consolation.

"It ain’t the same," she sighed.

"It’s not like Lou’s gone forever," Teaspoon told all of them as they sat around the bunkhouse table for supper. "She’s gone to visit her brother ‘n’ sister in St. Jo. She ain’t seem ‘em in a long time and figgered the trip was long overdue."

"I had no idea she was hurtin’ so bad," Kid finally admitted. He sat hunched over his plate as though he’d been horse-kicked.

Jimmy had been silent all throughout the meal, but hearing Kid’s statement of the obvious suddenly made his blood boil.

"Maybe that’s ‘cause you never talk to her anymore, Kid!" Jimmy lashed out at him. "When was the time you actually sat down with her and really listened?"

Kid quickly got defensive, contempt roiled in his voice. "Maybe if you weren’t always gettin’ in the way—"

"Would you two stop it already!" Buck attempted to mediate. "Hasn’t there been enough pain?"

Kid and Jimmy quieted down at Buck’s request, but they continued to fume internally, resuming their hard glares across the table at each other while they finished eating supper.

"Maybe we were all a little too wrapped up in ourselves to reach out to her," Noah pointed out rationally. "We thought it would all just go away if we left it alone, but it don’t always work out that way."

Cody nodded solemnly in agreement. "Noah’s right. I guess we were all blind to Lou’s pain. She needed us, and we didn’t wanna see it."

Silence surrounded the bunkhouse table for several long moments as everyone contemplated what it meant now that Lou was gone, albeit temporarily. The hush was only broken when Teaspoon finally spoke up.

"Now, I know it’s gonna be rough around here for a while, bein’ another rider short," Teaspoon mentioned. "I figgered maybe we can take on a rider from one of the other stations. I happen to know that the stationmaster over in Cottonwood Springs just hired on a bunch of new riders recently."

No one commented at Teaspoon’s suggestion. They all knew that even with another rider to help take up the slack, Lou could never be replaced.

---

Kid was about to turn in for the night when his eye was caught by a white piece of paper sticking out from underneath his pillow. Curious, he reached for the paper and unfolded it, instantly recognizing the smooth flow of Lou’s handwriting. Sitting down on his bunk, he read intently.

Dear Kid,

By the time you get this letter, I’ll be on my way to Seneca with the pouch, and then on to St. Jo. I’m sorry to have left without saying a proper goodbye, but I knew if I told you I was leaving, you would only try to talk me out of what I know I needed to do. I don’t want us to fight, Kid. Not anymore. I just can’t bear it.

Things have been different between us for a long time, even before Ft. Laramie. I think you know that even if you don't want to admit it. I can’t be the kind of woman you want me to be, and I can’t change who I am.

Please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I hope we can still be friends when I come back. I miss your friendship more than anything.

Ride safe and love always,

Lou

"Oh, Lou," Kid sighed to himself, his head dropping in despair. He realized then just how right Jimmy and the others had been at supper that night. He had shut Lou out when she needed him the most; he’d turned his back on the woman he loved because she had hurt him. Kid was admitting to himself that he hadn’t wanted to see her pain because of the ache he still felt inside knowing that she hadn’t chosen him. He’d been so very wrong, and now she was gone.

---

The moon shone down on Jimmy as he leaned up against the corral fence, though its brightness offered him no comfort, no solace. He’d kept to himself since supper, his thoughts consumed with Lou. Shortly after the evening meal, he went to his bunk and found the letter that she had left for him. He immediately stuffed it into his pocket, unwilling to read her words until he was alone, and until he was ready.

Now, with the Nebraska sky wrapped around him like a black velvet cloak, Jimmy decided to pull out the note and unfolded it. He breathed in deeply, the nighttime scent invading his solitude, and he began to read.

Dear Jimmy,

By now you know that I’ve gone to St. Jo and will not return for quite some time. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I hope my time away will allow me to sort through my feelings and finally gain some peace.

We’ve always had a special friendship, you and I. I’ve always been able to turn to you when I couldn’t talk to anyone else, even the Kid. You’re a kind, caring man. You have a big heart with a lot of love to share, if only you’ll learn to receive it.

You’re a good man, Jimmy Hickok. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.

I’ll miss you so much.

Love,

Lou

Jimmy closed his eyes for a few minutes, and Lou’s face began to flash before him. He could see her as clearly as if she were standing in front of him, just like she had been earlier that day in the barn when he was helping her saddle Lightning. At the time, he had sensed something in the way she was gazing at him, something different in her eyes and in her demeanor. Jimmy hadn’t been able to put his finger on it at the time. Of course, now he knew what it was. Lou was saying goodbye. Maybe she was also trying to say that she forgave him for the distance he’d placed between them -- the friendship he’d given up on.

While he stood there absorbed in his own thoughts, the words that Lou had written to him in the letter echoed in his brain. Love Lou, she’d written. He leapt inside, and Jimmy knew that all attempts to crush the flower of hope that was budding in his heart had been in vain. The seed was planted long ago, he realized. The letter only served as nourishment and sunshine when he’d tried to keep his feelings hidden in a dark corner of his soul, thinking they'd wither away from neglect.

Opening his eyes again to the nothingness and void around him, Jimmy continued reflecting on everything that had happened, even since before Fort Laramie and Elias Mills. It was as if he were seeing things for the first time, and suddenly, he wished more than ever for that time back. Maybe he would do things differently, he thought. Maybe he would say to Lou all the things he really wanted to. He only hoped that by the time she returned it wasn’t too late to make it right.

---

Chapter 18

Lou saw the pouch off safely in Seneca and had been riding hard for several days on her way to St. Joseph, Missouri. As she traveled closer to her destination, she remembered the last time she had seen the Catholic orphanage. It had been more than a year ago when she’d decided to visit her brother and sister, only to find that their estranged father had taken them from the orphanage and attempted to reclaim them as his own. She remembered the conflict that ensued, eventually ending in her father’s death and the safe return of Jeremiah and Theresa to the care of the nuns.

She marveled at the passage of time. It all seemed like eons ago to Lou now...eons ago that she came to work for the Pony Express and met the people who would become her new family. She sighed deeply before spurring her horse on through the last leg of her journey.

Once she arrived just outside the mission, Lou pulled her horse to a halt and rang the bell at the gates to alert the nuns of her presence.

"What do you want, young man?" one of the sisters inquired after opening the gates just enough so that she could inspect the visitor.

"It’s Louise McCloud, Sister Maria," she said, instantly identifying the nun. "I’m Theresa and Jeremiah’s sister."

"Oh, yes! I’m terribly sorry for not recognizing you, Louise," she immediately apologized. She felt quite embarrassed at her error and opened the gate so that Lou could enter the mission.

"Please come in. I’m so happy you’re here," Sister Maria said, her reaction sounding strangely relieved.

Once inside the gates, Lou dismounted from her horse and tied him up to the hitching post. She brushed the dust off of her clothes while she spoke. "I know it’s been a long time since I visited. It’s hard to believe how fast the time passes," Lou confessed, feeling somewhat nervous about how her brother and sister would react to her unexpected visit, particularly Jeremiah. Though the two of them seemed to patch things up before she left the last time, Lou still wondered if her brother might be holding a slight grudge. After all, she’d promised to visit every chance she got, and unfortunately, that chance took a year to arrive.

"I hope Jeremiah ain’t too angry with me for stayin’ away so long," Lou added.

Sister Marie suddenly took on an expression of total confusion that had Lou immediately filled with worry. "But Louise," she began to explain, "Jeremiah’s not here."

"What do you mean he’s not here?" Lou was shaken with panic. It was as if she were experiencing a flashback from when her father, Boggs, had taken her siblings.

"Didn’t you get the letter that was sent? I thought that was why you came," the nun replied.

Lou simply shook her head, her fears intensifying with each passing moment.

"Oh, dear..."

"Sister, what’s goin’ on? Where’s Jeremiah?" the female rider asked in a frenzy. "What about Theresa?"

"Theresa is just fine," Sister Maria tried to calm Louise down a bit. "But I think we should go talk to Mother Superior first. She’ll want to explain it all."

---

"Jeremiah had gotten increasingly difficult to handle in the past few months," Mother Superior told Louise. "He’d been neglecting his schoolwork, starting trouble with the younger children, disrespecting the sisters."

As Lou sat in Mother Superior’s office, she couldn’t understand how things had escalated to such a level with Jeremiah. She began to feel guiltier than ever for having stayed away so long, especially when she’d made a promise at the end of the last visit to come back and see the children soon and often.

"One day, there was a fire in one of the classrooms," the nun continued. "We managed to contain it, and there was little damage. But when we smelled the smoke and went towards the source of it, we saw Jeremiah running down the hall from the classroom."

"I can’t believe he’d do somethin’ like that." Lou shook her head in pure disbelief.

"Jeremiah tried to deny it when he was caught, but all signs pointed to him as the culprit. We even found matches and tobacco underneath his mattress when we searched. He was punished and given extra chores to do. The next morning at breakfast, we realized that he was gone and must have run off," Mother Superior informed Louise. "We informed the marshal in town, but he didn’t seem too cooperative about helping."

"What about Theresa?" Lou asked. "Did she know anythin’?"

The nun shook her head and sighed. "I’m afraid she hasn’t talked much since Jeremiah left. The other sisters and I have questioned her, but she remains silent, almost as if she knows something but is unwilling or afraid to tell us. That’s why we sent for you, Louise."

"I had no idea all of this happened," Lou said, her forehead creased with worry. "It seems strange that I never got that letter you sent. I hadn’t heard of any pouches gone missing."

"Perhaps it’s merely been delayed," the nun proposed. "I consider it a miracle that you came here without even receiving the letter. The Lord must have told you that something was wrong."

"I have to admit, sister, I came here for my own reasons, mostly selfish ones," Lou confessed. "I only wish I’d been to visit more often. Somehow I feel like this is all my fault," she added sorrowfully.

Mother Superior placed a hand on Lou’s, trying to comfort and reassure the distraught young woman. "This isn’t your fault, Louise. You were doing what you thought was best."

"Can I see Theresa now?" Lou asked.

"Certainly," she nodded. "I’ll bring her to you."

Lou was left in the office alone. She began to pace the floor nervously, taking in everything that she had just been told. She couldn’t help feeling guilty, feeling that Jeremiah had been lashing out because he felt abandoned by her.

Several minutes later, the door opened and Lou saw Mother Superior enter, leading Theresa by the hand. Her sister had grown a bit taller in the year since Lou had last seen her, but overall, she looked the same. She was ten years old, meaning that Jeremiah was now thirteen. That wasn’t a lot younger than she had been when she left the orphanage, Lou thought.

"Louise!" The child instantly recognized her older sister and ran into her arms.

Lou bent down and scooped up Theresa into her arms. "Aww, sugarbear! I’m so glad to see you!"

"Louise! Jeremiah..." the girl suddenly started to sob and buried her face in Lou’s chest.

"Shhhh, honey. I know..." Lou tried her best to soothe her sister, rubbing her back in long, gentle strokes. Once the crying seemed to abate, she attempted to coax Theresa into talking. "Theresa, honey, you gotta tell me if you know anything that would help us find Jeremiah."

"But I promised him I wouldn’t tell! I promised him..." she whimpered between sobs.

Louise pulled Theresa away from her slightly and looked her in the eye, the gravity of the situation reflected in her face. "Theresa, now listen to me. Jeremiah’s all alone out there. He might even be in some kinda trouble. We don’t want anythin’ bad to happen to him, do we?"

The girl shook her head.

"Then you need to tell me what you know," Lou spoke soft, yet firmly. "That way, I can find him and bring him back here safe ‘n’ sound."

Theresa glanced at Mother Superior as if for reassurance before turning back to Louise. "Jeremiah said he was goin’ to Marysville," she finally admitted.

"Thank you, Theresa," Lou smiled at her, relieved that she at least had a starting point to begin searching for her brother. "You did the right thing, baby."

"You’re gonna bring him back, aren’t you, Louise?" asked Theresa.

"I promise you. I will," Lou answered with a great deal of resolve. She then hugged her little sister tightly and said, "Now you go on back and take care of Mrs. Annabelle Mumblepuss for me while I’m gone. You’ll do that for me, won’t you?"

The blond-haired girl nodded with a smile.

"Go on now," Lou sent Theresa off. She wanted to speak with Mother Superior alone.

Once Theresa was gone, Lou stood back up and faced the nun. There were still a lot of unanswered questions, and Lou realized that although she had a starting point, she was in need of as much information as she could get.

"Sister, when exactly did Jeremiah leave?"

After doing a bit of quick math with her fingers, Mother Superior replied, "It was exactly ten days ago."

Lou’s expression grew more and more concerned. "That’s a long time for a boy his age to be out on his own, tryin’ to fend for himself."

"Indeed," the nun agreed. "Marysville is a far stretch from here."

"About 100 miles, I reckon," Louise pondered. "There’s no way he’s made it there by now on foot." She paused for moment before wondering aloud, "Why on earth would he decide to go to Marysville, Kansas?"

"Oh, dear," Mother Superior sighed, covering her mouth with her hands as the realization washed over her like a tidal wave.

"What is it?" Lou inquired.

"About four or five months back, a young man came to our mission wounded," she began. "He had been shot in the arm, and he stayed here for about two weeks while we nursed him back to health. He said he’d been on his way to Marysville to meet up with his older brothers when he ran into some trouble and was shot. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-five years old," the nun added. "Jeremiah idolized him. He followed him all around the mission, wanting to be just like him. I suppose Jeremiah just liked having a man around the place for a change."

Probing for more information, Lou asked, "What happened?"

"It turned out that this man was stealing from the mission funds, right from under our noses," Mother Superior revealed. "It wasn’t much, as we don’t have to begin with. But we sent him packing and threatened to call the local authorities if he ever returned. It was not until after he left that we learned about the bank robbery in town just before he came to the mission. The marshal said that none of the men were caught, but that he had managed to shoot one of them as he rode off."

The nun paused and appeared to be deep in thought for a little while before continuing. "Come to think of it, soon after the young man left, that’s when Jeremiah started acting out. He seemed angry that his new friend was run off."

"I guess it all makes sense," Lou said with a sigh. "First Jeremiah loses the man that was supposed to be his father, and then he loses another man he thought he could look up to."

Mother Superior nodded in understanding. "It is hard for a boy growing up without a man to model himself after."

"What was this fella’s name?"

"Garrett," she responded, without much hesitation in her voice. "I’m almost certain he said his name was Jack Garrett."

Fierce determination began to set in as Lou absorbed all the clues that Theresa and the Mother Superior had disclosed to her. She had been exhausted after her long journey to St. Joseph, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore. Lou knew that she had to find her brother, no matter what.

"I’ll need a place to stay for the night," Lou noted, "but first thing tomorrow mornin’, I’ll be headin’ out to find Jeremiah. I’m gonna find him, sister," she added resolutely. "I have to."

Her heart and prayers going out to Louise McCloud, Mother Superior nodded. "You are welcome to rest up here for the night. That way you can spend some time with Theresa."

"Thank you, sister," she said appreciatively. "I best get my horse settled for the night."

Lou walked outside of the main building and found herself enveloped by a sunset sky. Heaving a great sigh, she brought her hands up to massage her temples as if it would somehow make the pounding in her head and the worry hanging heavily over her subside. When she opened her eyes again, she stood gazing for a moment at the sun sinking on the horizon. Her eye caught sight of the iron cross atop the chapel’s bell tower, and though she did not consider herself a religious person, Lou said a silent prayer and asked for the guidance and strength to find her brother. Finally, Lou walked over to where Lightning was tied up to the hitching post. She took hold of his reigns and led him to the stables.

Nothing was turning out the way she had planned.

---

Chapter 19

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from the episode "The Debt".

"Now you be sure to stay on the main trail," Jimmy warned Matt Rawlins, the new rider, "and don’t go lookin’ for any shortcuts."

"Alright," Matt reluctantly agreed.

Just then, two pretty young ladies walked by and smiled, and his mind was immediately distracted from Jimmy’s attempt to guide him before his first run as a Pony Express rider.

"Hey, and don’t do any stoppin’ along the way," Jimmy told him firmly. "Just stay outta trouble, will ya?"

Matt simply shrugged off the advice of his mentor. "Relax, Jimmy. I can take care of myself."

"I’m just tellin’ ya because you gotta be careful," he emphasized as the two of them walked into the corral towards Matt’s horse. Jimmy could tell that Matt was both green and cocky, and he was afraid that kind of attitude would only serve to get him into trouble.

Making the last preparations to get his saddle ready to ride, Matt said, "You sound like an old lady with all your fussin’."

Buck arrived at the station with the pouch, and Matt took the handoff and sent his horse flying away from town, looking as though he were on top of the world.

"Ride safe, Matt!" Buck called out after him.

Jimmy simply watched with concern as Matt rode further and further away from the station. He had been responsible for Matt’s training, and though he’d done his best to ready him for the task, Jimmy couldn’t rid himself of the nagging suspicion that it wasn’t going to be enough. He only hoped that he was wrong.

---

A few days later, Matt still hadn’t returned from his run to Seneca. Jimmy came to Teaspoon with his concerns.

"Teaspoon, I just heard Matt hasn’t come back yet."

"I’m afraid not," he replied. "I figgered I'd give him till tomorrow to show up."

"What happened?" Jimmy asked, his worry intensifying.

"Don’t know," Teaspoon shrugged. "The stationmaster over in Seneca said he got there alright. Waited for his return run, went off, and never came back. The way I figger it, he got good ‘n’ sick of the Pony Express and decided to quit," he rationed.

Not buying the simple explanation, Jimmy declared, "I’m goin’ after him."

"Now hold on a minute, Jimmy," Teaspoon called him back.

But Jimmy would have none of it. "He’s my responsibility. I trained him, I’m the one who said he could take that first run. I gotta find out what happened."

Teaspoon saw that Jimmy was determined and would not back down. "Alright," he conceded.

Jimmy was about to head into the bunkhouse to get his things ready to leave and search for Matt when Tom Coleman, the town’s postmaster, came running over to him and Teaspoon.

"Marshal Hunter, I got this letter for one of your riders." He looked down at the envelope in his hand and read. "Uh, Lou McCloud. From St. Joseph, Missouri." Looking back up, he told Teaspoon, "I found it stuck in the space between the cabinet and the wall. Probably came in that batch of mail from last week. I’m sorry I didn’t see it earlier."

Teaspoon took the letter from him. "Well, I appreciate you bringin’ it over to us.

After Tom left, Jimmy and Teaspoon both examined the letter. "It’s from the orphanage where Lou’s brother and sister are," Jimmy pointed out. He glanced back up at Teaspoon. "Do you think we should open it?"

"I don’t think that’s somethin’ Lou would want us to do, Jimmy," Teaspoon replied. Although, he was awful curious himself as to what the letter said. "’Sides, she’s probably reached St. Jo by now," he reasoned.

"But it could be important," Jimmy pressed him, the concern laden in his eyes. "She could be headin’ towards trouble."

"If Lou were in trouble, she’d tell us an’ ask for help," the older man said.

"Teaspoon, we must not be talkin’ about the same Lou here, because she’s so stubborn..." He shook his head, knowing just how right he was. "You know she’d try to do it on her own."

Teaspoon pondered for a few seconds, scratching the back of his neck the way he always did. Then he looked around suspiciously, almost as if making certain that no one would see them opening up the letter that was not addressed to them.

"Alright," Teaspoon finally acquiesced. He ripped open the envelope and took out the piece of paper it contained. His eyes scanned the paper, and Jimmy wondered nervously what it said.

After too long of a silence, Jimmy began to get jumpy and anxious. "What is it, Teaspoon?"

"It says here that Lou’s brother, Jeremiah, has run away from the orphanage." He looked back up at Jimmy. "They’re askin’ Lou to come out to St. Jo to see if she can find him."

"That’s terrible," Jimmy noted sadly, shaking his head. "I knew it was trouble. I knew we was doin’ the right thing in openin’ up this letter."

"Jimmy, I don’t see what good it does us," Teaspoon decided. "The letter don’t say where Jeremiah might have run off to. Lou’s probably in St. Jo, and the sisters at the orphanage have told her what happened."

Somehow, that didn’t seem to ease Jimmy’s mind. He was concerned about Lou; he was worried about how she would handle the news of her brother’s disappearance.

"But that means Lou will be out all alone lookin’ for her brother. I doubt she’ll rest till she finds ‘im," Jimmy said.

Eyeing him suspiciously, Teaspoon wondered, "Just what are you gettin’ at, Jimmy?" He sensed that the stubborn young man had something up his sleeve.

"Well, we’ve already decided I’m goin’ to Seneca to look for Matt," he began. "I figure I can keep my eyes open for Jeremiah along the way. With two of us lookin’ for him, we got a better chance of findin’ him." The plan was building quickly in Jimmy’s head as he spoke. "I figure I’ll hit most of the towns Lou’s brother might’ve made it to if he headed west. If I don’t see him, then I’ll stop off at St. Jo and talk see if the sisters can give me more information about where Lou was headed."

Nodding, Teaspoon said, "Sounds like you got it all figgered out, son."

"It’s the right thing to do, Teaspoon," Jimmy spoke with a strong sense of resolve carried in his voice. "Lou’d never forgive herself if anythin’ happened to her brother." I turned my back on her before, Jimmy thought to himself, and I’m not gonna let that happen again.

"An’ I reckon you’d never forgive yourself if anythin’ ever happened to Lou," Teaspoon said knowingly.

Jimmy didn’t answer; he didn’t have to. It was written plainly on his face.

"Alright, Jimmy," Teaspoon sighed. "The Kid’s off on that special run to Denver, but I imagine he’ll be fit to be tied when I tell him I let you go out searchin’ for Lou..."

"I can’t worry about that right now," Jimmy seemed unconcerned. "I’ve gotta find Matt and Lou first. I’ll deal with the Kid later."

"Well, make sure you get a good meal in ya ‘fore ya head out," Teaspoon suggested.

"I will."

With that, Jimmy walked away and went inside the bunkhouse to pack up the things he’d need for the trip, leaving Teaspoon alone out in the yard.

"Lordy lord," the stationmaster sighed. His riders were disappearing left and right. He only hoped they all would return home, soon and unharmed. All of this was beginning to fray his nerves.

---

Chapter 20

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from the episode "The Debt".

Lou had left the orphanage after only one night’s stay, and it turned out to be a night plagued with sleeplessness and mental unrest. She got off to an early start, though, wanting to gain as much ground as possible. She figured that Jeremiah couldn’t have gotten far, assuming he remained on foot, but she was worried sick, fearing the kind of trouble he could have gotten himself into. Marysville was on the Express route, so Lou decided to check every town and station on the way, asking if anyone had seen the boy, trying to dig up any clue that would lead her to him. She only hoped he hadn’t strayed too far from the main trail.

In the days since she’d left the orphanage in St. Jo, Lou had scoured the towns of Cold Spring, Elwood, and Troy searching for Jeremiah. She questioned everyone she came in contact with to see if anyone had spotted her brother. So far, she’d had no luck. Lou supposed Jeremiah looked much the same as any other boy in these towns, so even if he had passed through, it seemed unlikely that anyone would have thought enough to pay him any mind. And so, reluctantly, Lou chose to move on, wondering just how far Jeremiah might have made it since he left the orphanage over two weeks ago.

The first ray of hope that Lou was given came when she reached the town of Syracuse. She came across a merchant who said he remembered a young boy of about twelve or thirteen matching Jeremiah’s description closely. The older man claimed that he’d seen the boy stealing some apples from a barrel in front of the store, but that he’d been unable to catch the boy when he turned and ran away.

"How long ago would you say it was when you saw my little brother?" Lou asked him, her eyes gleaming with optimism that she was at least on the right path to finding him.

"I’d say ‘bout five days back, it was," he replied.

"Thanks, mister," Lou said gratefully.

"Good luck findin’ that young scoundrel! Make sure you give him a good talkin’-to when you do!" He called out after Lou, but she had already mounted her horse and was making her way out of town.

Lou rode hard, her confidence slowly building that she would locate Jeremiah. At least she was on the right track, she figured. He’d made it to Syracuse, and was likely to be on his way to Marysville by now. She determined that me must be sticking to the main towns along the trail because that would be the best way for him to try to find food, either by stealing, she thought with disappointment, or by finding odd jobs in town that might offer him some money.

So Lou pressed on. The next town that she would come to in her search would be Seneca...

---

"Knew that boy was trouble the moment he rode in," the stationmaster in Seneca told Jimmy. "First thing he asked was where he could have a good time."

"Anybody see where he went?" Jimmy asked.

The man shook his head. "All I know is he got in a fight in the saloon and headed north."

"Fenton’s the next town Matt musta reached," Jimmy concluded. "Maybe he’s still there."

After obtaining that one crucial piece of information from the stationmaster, Jimmy immediately rode to Fenton. It wasn’t far from Seneca, but when he arrived, he found the town was much like a ghost town. The streets were unusually quiet and void of activity, and all the people he saw eyed him suspiciously as he rode through town. Everyone Jimmy asked denied having seen Matt, and most of them simply ignored him. It was as if they thought he carried the plague or something.

Jimmy persisted in his inquiries, and finally, he found the evidence he needed to prove that Matt had indeed been to Fenton. He saw Matt’s prized silver saddle in the front window of the mercantile with a "For Sale" sign on it. These people were lying to him, Jimmy knew, and aimed to find out exactly what they were hiding.

---

Lou had been going around to all the shops and stores in Seneca, asking if anyone had seen Jeremiah. By the time she came to the last place on the street, the dress shop, she still hadn’t found any new information. It was her last hope before she moved on to the next town down the line.

Just as Lou was talking to the lady who ran the dress shop, about a half dozen horses tore through the streets of Seneca, the men firing their pistols randomly in the air, causing a tremendous amount of raucous.

"Hooligans!" the lady said. "Got nothin’ better to do then bother decent folks."

"Looks like they’re fixin’ to leave anyway," Lou noted, as the riders continued heading north out of town.

"Yes, fortunately," the dressmaker replied with relief. "I heard one of them say it’s too quiet here, they’re headed to another town."

"Oh, that’s good news," Lou said, seemingly distracted. She was still so focused on finding Jeremiah, and her worry was growing with each passing day.

"For us, not for Fenton," she said. "Those Garretts been causin’ nothin’ but trouble for towns around here. It all started a few months back."

Instantly, Lou’s ears perked up at the utterance of the name. "Did you just say Garretts?" she asked to confirm.

"Uh-huh," she answered. "It’s a gang of brothers. They go ridin’ around, raisin’ hell and doin’ whatever they please. No one seems to want to take the risk of tryin’ to stop them. Especially since they haven’t been botherin’ with us lately, mostly Fenton."

"I gotta go," Lou started to turn and leave. She was overcome by this tremendous fear that Jeremiah had made it to Marysville after all, and that he was somehow mixed up with this very dangerous group of men.

"Wait a minute!" The lady called out after Lou.

Lou stopped and spun back around to face her.

"I just remembered somethin’," she began. "There was another fellow in town just the other day, also askin’ around about a runaway boy. I told him I hadn’t seen him either, but now that I think about it, the description he gave seems to match yours."

Lou was confused. Who else could be looking for Jeremiah? Who else knew that he was missing? Intrigued, she probed the woman for more information. "Can you remember anythin’ about this man?"

"Well, let’s see..." she paused while she seemed to search her memory. "He was tall and had long, dark hair. And he came into town on a palomino," she added, the details quickly coming back to her. "Finest horse I ever did see. The fella didn't look too bad himself," she winked.

"Jimmy..." Lou recognized right away that it was he from the description. "I wonder how he knew about Jeremiah?" she muttered to herself, puzzled.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothin’." Lou was quickly brought back to reality, though she couldn’t comprehend how Jimmy found out about her brother.

"Thanks for all the help, ma’am," were Lou’s final words as she un-tethered her horse, swung herself into the saddle, and rode out of town in the direction of Fenton.

"Jeremiah, what have you gotten yourself into?" Lou cursed aloud, spurring Lightning on with a quick jab of her heels.

---

"You’re gonna tell me who killed my friend. Tell me!" Jimmy demanded of one of the townsmen.

"No one here did." Emmet insisted. "Honest."

"I just saw his body." Jimmy was absolutely furious. First, he found out that the people in Fenton were lying to him, refusing to admit that Matt had been there. Then, when he finally called them out after seeing the silver saddle in the shop window, he learned that Matt had come to town, and that he’d never left. Jimmy found him buried in the cemetery.

"We didn’t do it. They did."

"They who?" Jimmy demanded.

"The fiercest band of desperadoes in these parts, that’s who," Emmet simply said.

"I don’t wanna hear another one of your damn stories!" Jimmy threw down the dime novel that Emmet had been reading. He had no tolerance for people who chose to believe in that sort of trash. It was the same pile of lies that had only gotten Jimmy into trouble after a reputation as a ruthless gunfighter had been unfairly thrust upon him.

"The Garrett Brothers ain’t no story," Emmet tried to explain. "They’re five of the deadliest men you’ll ever meet. Each week they come to town on the same day we get our supplies. They do whatever they want, take whatever they want."

"So you’re sayin’ that the Garretts killed Matt, huh?" he wanted to clarify.

Suddenly, Emmet took on a faraway look as if he were being transported back in time while he recounted the tale leading to Matt’s death. "They was draggin’ a girl behind the saloon. She started to scream. He shouldn’t have tried to stop ‘em. It’s like I tell Audrey: you shouldn’t get mixed up in other folks’ problems."

Jimmy was satisfied that the truth was out at last. He’d found Matt, but he knew that it was far from over.

---

Chapter 21

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from the episode "The Debt".

Against his better judgment, Jimmy decided to stay in Fenton and help the townsfolk fight the murderous Garrett gang. He had been ready to leave without a second of hesitation or regret when he learned the way the town had turned its back on Matt when he had been shot by the Garretts and needed help. Jimmy had never been more disgusted. Matt could have lived if only these people had aided him when he cried out for it.

And now, the same people who had let Matt die were begging for Jimmy’s help. It was unbelievable to Jimmy how a town full of cowards had been able to survive as long as it had. But, they managed to guilt Jimmy into staying and helping them because he had killed one of the Garretts, and they all knew that the rest of the gang would be coming back, angrier than ever once they found out about their brother. The town knew it would be defenseless without the help of the nameless gun-toting stranger.

Jimmy had been preparing for the Garretts’ impending arrival when Lou rode into Fenton as if the devil were at her feet.

"Jimmy!" she called out to him.

He whipped around at the sound of his name and saw Lou yank the reigns of her horse, pulling Lightning to a stop only feet away from him. He’d never been more shocked or more relieved to see her as he was at that moment. Jumping off of her horse, she immediately ran to where he stood in the middle of the street.

Jimmy then instinctively accepted her into his arms, and the two embraced. It felt so good having her there with him, having her close. Joy flooded through his soul like rain ending a drought when he realized that Lou was there with him, and that she was safe. But then, the doubts began to settle in once more as Jimmy regained his composure. He pushed her away slightly.

"What are you doin’ here?" he asked Lou.

"I just came from Seneca," she began, a little breathless. "I saw the Garretts and heard they were headed this way. I think my little brother might be with ‘em. At least I think they might know where he is."

Suddenly, Lou’s face took on an expression that Jimmy could not fathom. It contained a strange mixture of gratitude, confusion, and concern. "You came lookin’ for Jeremiah..." she said, her brow creased in wonder. "How did you know?"

Jimmy explained about how the letter that the nuns sent to Lou had gotten misplaced, and how he and Teaspoon were worried and decided to open it. He also told her about Matt, her replacement rider, and what happened to him.

Shaking her head in amazement, Lou said, "I can’t believe you came lookin’ for Jeremiah. Thank you, Jimmy." She knew the words would never be enough to express what she felt in her heart, how grateful she was to Jimmy that he’d come searching for her missing brother. She realized that she wasn't strong enough to fight the four remaining Garrett brothers, but with Jimmy there, they just might have a chance.

"I didn’t just come for Jeremiah," he told her, his voice gentle and earnest. "I came for you, too."

All Lou could do was smile at him and wonder why her heart was racing in her chest the way it was. His gray eyes seemed to penetrate clear down to the core of her being, and she knew at last what she felt for him was true.

As the subtle breeze stirred around them, wrapping them up in a temporary blissful silence, an errant strand of Jimmy’s long, dark hair blew in front of his face. Lou’s hand involuntarily moved up to push the stray lock away from his face, her fingertips brushing against his cheek ever so slightly. Her touch was as soft as a feather kissing his skin, Jimmy thought, attempting to still the fluttering of his own heart. A strong current of sensual awareness sizzled between them, but eventually, reality set in again and the moment was over. They dropped their gazes from each other, their bodies moving further apart.

A deadly gang was on its way to town, and there was work to be done.

---

"Killin’ the Garretts won’t bring Matt back," Lou told Jimmy while they were preparing the town for the imminent attack. "This ain’t right what you’re plannin’. Not like this."

He didn’t give a damn about the town, not after what they let happen to Matt. Jimmy knew he was only there because the mayor had begged him to stay after killing Joe Garrett, so he did feel partly responsible. And now that Lou was there and believed the gang knew where Jeremiah was, Jimmy had more of a reason to stay and see this thing through. But that didn’t mean he cared whether or not the town was destroyed in the process.

"They let him die, Lou," he replied as he continued spreading the straw on the floor, obviously upset.

"And they were wrong," she agreed. "It’s not the town I’m worried about, it’s you."

"You know, I knew Matt for two weeks," Jimmy explained to her. "And he drove me crazy most of the time, but he was a good kid. It was like havin’ a little brother, and he didn’t deserve to die like that. Not like that," Jimmy repeated with emphasis.

"Saw the Garretts in Seneca," Lou mentioned.

"Yeah."

"There’s four of them and only two of us," she pointed out.

"Not two!" Jimmy corrected, his protective nature taking over.

"Jimmy!" Lou was shocked and hurt that Jimmy didn’t want to let her stand up along side of him and fight. Not when they both had such a great deal at stake.

"Lou, look," he began, "you got your whole life ahead of you, a brother and sister to look after." As much as Jimmy knew he was starting to sound like the Kid with his over-protective ways, he knew he was right. He couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Lou get hurt, even if it meant standing up against the Garretts alone. It was too risky.

"And how do you think I’d feel if somethin’ happened to you?" she told him, her voice full of fervor, her eyes smoldering with intensity. She wasn’t going to stand by idly and watch while Jimmy put his life in jeopardy. If danger was coming, Lou wanted to be there with him. "’Sides, I need to find out if Jeremiah’s with ‘em. I ain’t arguin’ with you, Jimmy. I’m stayin’."

At that point, Jimmy was left with no choice but to let Lou remain and help him. A part of him cursed her for her stubbornness, but at the same time, he admired her even more for it. Wordlessly, Jimmy agreed to let Lou stay, and he continued the preparations for the coming battle.

---

Chapter 22

The following day, the Garretts rode into Fenton right on schedule. As the mayor had predicted, they had come looking for their brother Joe in addition to their usual raid of the town’s supplies. But unlike their previous visits, the gang was met with deserted streets, closed shops, and boarded up windows. It had them completely confused.

Moments later, they heard the clip-clop sound of a horse’s hooves pounding the dirt as it cut through the otherwise silent and eerie stillness of the town. It was Joe Garrett, but when their brothers saw his limp and lifeless body fall to the ground, they realized it was a trick. They were being set up.

At that point, all hell broke loose and the fight began as Jimmy, Lou, and Emmet started firing away at the Garretts. A shower of bullets splayed through the streets of town, splitting the stagnant summer air and filling it with clouds of smoke. The pungent smell of gunpowder was nearly choking while Lou scurried around buildings and through alleyways, taking cover wherever she could.

Seeing that one of her shots had hit its target in a Garrett’s chest, Lou ran around toward the livery where the gang members’ horses were tied up. She wanted to make sure none of them were left with a chance to turn and high-tail it out of town, only to return more furious and bloodthirsty than ever. But when Lou stumbled over to the stables, her heart caught in her throat as she saw her little brother bound and gagged on one of the mares.

"Jeremiah!" she cried. She ran towards him, wide-eyed with both shock and relief.

Instantly, the boy began wriggling in the saddle when he saw her, his screams muffled by the bandana tied around his mouth. Lou fought against the trembling of her fingers to untie him and lift him off of the horse. She enfolded Jeremiah in her arms after releasing the gag, hugging him tightly as the relief washed over her.

"Thank God you’re safe!" Lou fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

But then the very real danger of the situation they were still in came back to her and she pulled away from Jeremiah. Latching onto his hand authoritatively, Lou proceeded to drag her brother along with her while she searched for better cover.

The sound of explosions and shattering glass suddenly filled her ears, and Lou realized that Jimmy must have ignited the fires he’d set up in some of the buildings in town. Still holding onto Jeremiah with one hand and her gun ready to aim in the other, Lou navigated her way back toward the main street of town where Jimmy and Emmet were fending off the remaining two Garretts. She kept her body in front of Jeremiah as she ordered him to crouch down behind a row of boxes in an alley.

"Stay right there, and don’t move, Jeremiah!" she commanded to him over the booming cracks of gunfire.

Lou had to pause for a few moments to reload her gun. She saw Jimmy just across the street, both guns blazing. Their gazes met for the briefest moment, and their eyes seemed to communicate volumes with each other even through the fusillade that surrounded them. Once Lou had a full round of bullets loaded, she took aim once again, trying to eliminate the last and most evasive of the gang members.

Intensely focused on the gunfight and on their very survival, Lou did not notice when Jeremiah slipped away from her and ran towards the middle of the street where an abandoned gun from one of the newly deceased Garrett was laying.

Jimmy caught an unexpected flash of movement out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up to see Jeremiah heading out into the crossfire. Without a moment of thought or hesitation, Jimmy bolted up from his spot behind a water trough and ran into the street after the boy. Horrified, Lou witnessed as Jimmy grabbed onto Jeremiah and managed to pull him out of harm’s way, only to leave himself completely exposed and vulnerable. In the process of saving her brother’s life, Jimmy had unknowingly endangered his own when one of the remaining Garretts peeked out from the side street between the bank and the mercantile and pointed his pistol straight at Jimmy’s back.

"Jimmy!" Lou expelled a blood-curdling scream from across the street.

Instinctively, she moved out from behind her place of cover to get a clear angle on Garrett. Lou aimed and cocked her gun in one quick, calculated motion, and then she pulled the trigger. The bullet made its mark in Garrett’s chest, but not before he, too, managed to fire off a shot.

"Lou!" cried Jimmy as he spun around and saw her.

For a few moments after the last sound of gunfire erupted in her ears, Lou was enveloped in a world of silence. Everything became strangely surreal, and that was when Lou realized from the burning of gunpowder against her flesh that she’d been hit. She looked down at herself and at the gaping, bloody wound in her left side and suddenly, her own body seemed foreign to her. Her legs began to wobble beneath her as the dizziness set in, causing her to fall to the ground, breathless.

Jimmy rushed toward her, killing the last Garrett standing on the way. The hail of bullets had ceased, but now Jimmy’s ears became filled with the pounding of his own heart in his chest cavity and the overwhelming fear that he had lost Lou...that she was dead.

"Lou! Lou!" He called out her name as he landed on his knees near the spot where she lay motionless on the ground. But she gave no response.

"Lou, damnit! Wake up!" Jimmy barely managed to screech out his plea to her. He looked down at her and saw the bleeding wound in her gut, the crimson stain on her shirt slowly spreading in a perfect circle. His face contorted in pain. Lou had risked her own life to save his.

But then, relief surged through him as he saw the slow yet steady rise and fall of Lou’s chest, and he knew that she was not dead. Cradling her head in his lap, Jimmy brushed the hair and dirt away from her lovely face.

So much emotion filled Jimmy that the words got lodged in his throat and only a guttural whimper escaped his lips. "Damnit, Lou...Don’t you die on me!"

As if beckoned back from the peaceful darkness that held her senses captive, Lou’s lids fluttered open and she gazed up into Jimmy’s tear-filled eyes. For a brief moment, the haziness left her brain, the pain left her side, and everything was clear. She reached up to touch Jimmy’s cheek, her face carrying an inexplicable expression of mirth. Tenderness welled up inside her.

"I love you, Jimmy," the words spilled from her lips naturally and automatically. And then the world faded out once again as she was swallowed up in blackness.

---

Chapter 23

Once the last of the Garretts was killed, Jimmy carried Lou’s unconscious body to the doctor in Fenton. Her wound was bad, Jimmy knew, and he was so afraid that she might not survive it. There was so much blood, more than he’d ever seen before, and she looked so small lying there in his arms, so vulnerable.

Jimmy sat in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, his head bowed in unspeakable agony. The doctor had forced Jimmy away from Lou’s bedside while he operated on removing the bullet, so he was left to just sit there, wait, and worry.

Shortly after the gunfight with the Garretts was over, the townsfolk slowly began to approach Jimmy and offer words of appreciation to him for all that he’d done for them. Jimmy did his best to keep his loathing for them and their cowardice to himself while he was consumed with fear for Lou’s life. But when the mayor of Fenton came to him and asked if there was anything the town could do for him in return, Jimmy had but one request. He asked that they send out someone to ride to Rock Creek and let everyone back at the station know what had happened to Lou. The mayor happily obliged, knowing just how greatly in debt the town was to this selfless stranger. He sent Emmet on the fastest horse in town to inform Teaspoon and the others of Lou’s critical condition.

Jimmy was left in Fenton with Jeremiah, anxiously awaiting the doctor’s prognosis. He sat by her bed day and night since the doctor finished his operation. She was battling an infection from the wound, Doctor Jensen told Jimmy, and she was running a very high fever. Lou continued to lay unconscious, and never before had he felt so utterly helpless.

Sitting there, all Jimmy could think about were the last words that Lou had spoken to him. I love you, Jimmy, she’d said. His heart swelled with hope when he thought of the look on her face when she said those words, but then his own fatalism and sense of doubt would instantly crush any such feeling before it grew too strong. She had been shot, Jimmy rationalized, and was most likely in a state of delirium at the time. He forced himself to believe that Lou hadn’t meant what she said, though deep inside, he wanted desperately to believe that she had. The conflict within him had Jimmy so unsettled; his mind was racing with both possibilities and uncertainties.

In an attempt to calm his frayed nerves, Jimmy pulled out the letter of goodbye that Lou had written him before she left for St. Jo. He’d kept it in his pocket, as if having the letter close to him would make it feel like Lou were also near. He sat there by her bedside and read that letter over and over again until the words became imprinted in his memory. Jimmy began to grow oddly at ease.

He loved her, Jimmy knew. He loved her now and perhaps he always had, and he fully understood how wrong he had been to push her away. Jimmy hadn’t appreciated that love when it was staring him right in the face. He’d turned his back on it; he’d turned his back on Lou. Lou even tried telling Jimmy that love was waiting for him if only he would let himself receive it. Now Jimmy realized just what a fool he was, and as he sat there with Lou lying motionless and feverish in the bed beside him, he made a silent vow that she would not die without knowing how he truly felt about her.

Jimmy began speaking to her from his heart. He knew that Lou probably could not hear him; he only hoped and prayed that maybe she could...that he wasn’t too late.

---

The other riders arrived in Fenton later that day. Everyone came –- Noah, Kid, Cody, Buck, even Teaspoon, Rachel, and Jesse. Emmet had ridden to Rock Creek and told them everything that took place. He told them how heroic Lou and Jimmy had been in defending the town from the notorious Garrett gang, even after what had happened with Matt. He told them that Lou was shot while trying to warn Jimmy that he was in danger, and that the wound was so bad the doctor wasn’t sure she would make it. When they heard that one of their family was so seriously injured, they all knew there was no choice but to ride out to Fenton as soon as possible. It didn’t seem to matter that they were abandoning their jobs, not when Lou’s life was hanging in the balance.

Jimmy was barely sentient himself when he heard everyone burst into the doctor’s office inquiring about Lou. It was quite a sight to behold. Jeremiah was asleep on the couch just outside the room where Lou lay unconscious with Jimmy hunched over in a chair by her side, his head resting face down in his hands.

"Oh, God! Lou!" Kid ran over to her side immediately when he saw her. She looked so pale and fragile.

Startled into alertness, Jimmy rose from his seat and went over to Teaspoon. The two men said no words, though volumes seemed to be exchanged between them. Teaspoon simply patted him on the shoulder comfortingly before Jimmy left the room and went outside to be alone for a while. It was all too overwhelming for the moment, and Jimmy also thought he'd give Kid a few moments of privacy with Lou.

Kid knelt down by the bed, taking hold of Lou’s clammy hand. He could tell even from the heat radiating from her palm that she was burning up with fever. Her hair was slick with perspiration, and her face had been stricken of all color and was now ashen with undertones of an almost sickly shade of green. Kid was beside himself, thinking that he would not be able to go on if Lou did not pull through. He tried to banish such unimaginable notions from his head, but when Lou suddenly began writhing and convulsing with the fever, his fears only multiplied.

While Lou’s frail body was riddled with the affects of the fever, so too was her mind. From the comfortingly still and dreamless state of unconsciousness, Lou was abruptly transported into the portal of delirium. Images of events in her life started flashing before her closed eyes, and the voices of people she’d known were echoing in her ears. Everything seemed to be happening in hyper-speed, bombarding all of her senses at once with memories of the past.

Lou saw herself as a young child standing next to her dying mother as she made her promise not to tell her brother and sister about the man their father really was. You’ll have to be their mommy now. They think your father was a good man. Please, don’t let them believe otherwise...

She saw a frightened teenage girl crouching in the corner behind a dresser, trying to hide from the despicable man who stole her innocence. Louise, you’re a big girl now...

She saw Kid and Jimmy weaving around in the boxing ring, their fists flying at each other. She heard Teaspoon’s voice flooding her ears. Let’s have a clean fight, no hittin’ below the belt. Good luck, and may the best man win...

She saw herself standing in the barn with Kid holding out the engagement ring to her for a second time. You gotta make up your mind, Lou. You gotta choose. It’s a simple question. It’s either me or Jimmy... You made your choice a long time ago, whether you knew it or not...

Then she saw Jimmy’s face illuminated by the soft yellow-orange glow of firelight. She recognized the doubt radiating from his eyes as he thought of winding up stuck on the same path as Elias Mills. And there was the kiss and all the passion and longing it released. Why should I care for someone if it’s just gonna cause them pain?

Finally, Lou saw Jimmy rushing into the street to pull Jeremiah out of the crossfire, and she heard the sound of her own scream echo in her ears when she noticed Garrett take aim at him, when she thought she’d lost him. Jimmy!

"Jimmy! Jimmy!"

Kid grew wide-eyed as he heard Lou struggling to speak. Her voice was barely audible but her words were clear as crystal. She had been extremely fitful for several minutes, and the doctor was now working over her, trying to settle the fevered young lady. Hearing her talk, though, brought the hope back into the Kid’s eyes, but when he thought of her calling out for another – for Jimmy – his heart began to ache. He stood up from his chair but lingered for a minute before he brushed the hair off of her forehead, bent down and placed a kiss there. One last, long look, and then Kid walked away while Doc Jensen continued to care for Lou.

Jimmy was outside the doctor’s office on the front porch, leaning up against a supporting beam and staring off into the distance. His expression was somber and heavy, as was his heart.

Kid came out of the office and approached Jimmy wordlessly. He moved to stand next to his friend, also leaning against the railing to mirror Jimmy, and looking directly ahead of him. A few moments of silence passed between them before Kid finally spoke up.

"You done a good thing, Jimmy," Kid began, still not facing his friend. "Comin’ to find Matt...lookin’ for Jeremiah and Lou..." he let his voice drift off as the emotions swelled within him.

"It was the right thing to do," Jimmy simply replied.

Once again, the silence encompassed them as night continued to descend, the sky emitting a soft, indigo glow with the first stars just beginning to shine in contrast to the growing darkness. Somehow, though, the silence was not an uncomfortable one.

"What’s happened, Jimmy?" Kid asked. It wasn’t just a question about how Lou got shot, but more a question about what happened in general...to their family, to their friendship. Jimmy understood that. After all, so much had changed in such a short period of time, and it all seemed hard to believe and even more difficult to accept.

"She saved my life," Jimmy admitted to him. "In more ways than one."

"She was callin’ your name in there, just now," Kid said, his voice brimming with melancholy.

"It’s probably just the fever talkin’." Jimmy shrugged off Kid’s comment, trying not to raise his hopes too high. Although internally, his heart grew warm at the thought of Lou calling out for him...wanting him.

"I think it’s her heart talkin’," Kid confessed.

Finally, Jimmy turned around to face the Kid. He could hardly believe that Kid was saying what he thought he was saying...that Lou might share his feelings. He dared not to dream.

"Maybe I’m finally startin’ to open my eyes up to what’s been in front of me all along," Kid continued. "Things I didn’t want to see."

"Look, Kid--," Jimmy began to protest, only to be interrupted.

"No, Jimmy," Kid shook his head. "You know I’m right." He dropped his gaze for a moment and looked down at the hat he was nervously twirling in his hands. "Just tell me one thing, Jimmy," he looked back up at his friend, his eyes pleading, "what does she mean to you?"

Jimmy looked away for a moment as if searching the great wide open for the answer to the question when he knew it lay deep within him. But then, he turned back to face Kid, sincere gray eyes boring into azure blue, and he spoke as if he hadn’t a doubt in his mind. "She means everythin’. I love her, Kid."

The Kid simply nodded and then walked away.

---

Chapter 24

The fever broke early the following morning, and the doctor soon informed everyone that Lou had gotten over the worst.

"She's out of danger now," Doctor Jensen told Teaspoon, Rachel, and the others who were outside eagerly awaiting news of Lou's condition. "Soon after she awakens, you can take her back to Rock Creek and care for her there. With a lot of rest and special attention to keeping her wound clean, she should be as good as new in a few weeks."

It was as if everyone let out a collective sigh of relief at the hearing the words that Lou was going to be fine. She still had not woken up fully, but at least she had beaten the infection.

"Thanks, Doc," Teaspoon said, extending out his arm to shake the doctor's hand. "We appreciate everythin' you done for Lou."

"You're very welcome," he replied with a smile. "I only hope it in some way helps to repay the debt this town owes to Miss Louise and Jimmy here." He pondered for a moment, marveling at how the young woman was able to survive such a nasty gunshot. "I've seen men twice Louise's size not make it through lesser wounds, but I reckon she pulled through out of sheer strength of willpower. She's one remarkable young lady."

"That she is," Teaspoon beamed with pride. "You'll get no debate on that from any of us."

"Can we go in and see her?" asked Buck.

"She's not awake yet, but I s'pose it would be all right," the doctor told him.

Kid, Cody, Buck, Noah, Jesse, Rachel, and Teaspoon began to head into the doctor's office to see Lou. Jimmy remained outside, however, his heart finally beginning to beat easier now that he learned Lou was going to make it, that she was going to be fine. His chest heaved a sigh of relief; it was as if he'd been holding his breath for the past four days, maybe even longer.

Teaspoon turned back before going inside and noticed Jimmy standing on the porch, his eyes fixed on the distance. Stepping away from the door, he approached Jimmy and placed his hand on his shoulder sympathetically and reassuringly.

"You heard the doc," he said. "Lou's gonna be just fine."

Jimmy nodded, fighting the overwhelming emotion rising inside of him. "I know," he finally spoke, "but I came so close to losin' her, Teaspoon. Too close."

"It's gonna take a lot more than a little bullet to take Louise McCloud away from us," Teaspoon told him.

"Lou saved my life, Teaspoon. It shoulda been me layin’ there instead of her. I knew I never shoulda let her get involved in that gunfight," he berated himself, the feelings of guilt and self-condemnation ripping through him.

"Jimmy, Lou made that choice on her own," Teaspoon said. "She made the choice to stand up and fight alongside of you, knowin’ the dangers she’d face. What happened ain’t yer fault, and I know if Lou were awake she’d tell ya the same thing. She's strong, Jimmy," he added.

"The strongest person I know," Jimmy responded, resisting the tears that threatened to spill at any moment.

"Well, it looks like Lou's been given another chance. Maybe you have, too," Teaspoon said knowingly, his tremendous wisdom shining through. "Don’t waste that chance by sittin’ around feelin’ guilty and blamin’ yourself, Jimmy." He paused for a moment to let Jimmy absorb his words before continuing. "You gonna go in 'n' see her?"

"In a few minutes, Teaspoon," Jimmy replied.

Nodding wordlessly, the older man gave Jimmy one last firm pat on the back and then left him alone to go into the doctor's office to see Lou. Teaspoon understood that his young friend needed a few more moments of solitude to gather his thoughts and feelings before facing the others. More than anyone, Jimmy had been through a lot. He had his life saved by the woman he loved, a selfless act that nearly cost her own life. The striking similarities of the situation brought back memories of Ike and Emily. Ike had died for his love, as Lou nearly had. But Lou was given a second chance, just like Teaspoon said.

Then Jimmy thought of Elias. He’d given up both his love and his life. He spent over twenty years on the run from the law, leaving behind the woman he loved because he feared his troubles would find her and put her in danger. He’d lived alone with only a horse for a companion and absolutely nothing left to show for his life except a daughter who never even knew him.

Jimmy couldn’t bear the thought of sharing that same fate. He couldn’t imagine leaving Lou behind and never seeing her again because of his own fears and demons, but then he thought of her lying in the middle of the street with all that blood pouring from the gunshot wound. Bringing his fingers up to massage his throbbing temples, Jimmy tried to erase that horrible vision from his head. He closed his eyes, but the voices began to echo in his ear.

"What kind of life do I have to offer? Not bein' able to look into the future 'cause I never know what's comin' up from behind?"

"What if you found someone who could live with it?"

"Jimmy, Lou made that choice on her own...She made the choice to stand up and fight alongside of you, knowin’ the dangers she’d face...She’s strong, Jimmy"

It seemed that everybody, including Lou herself, was trying to tell him that she was strong enough and willing to deal with whatever difficulties the future may bring. Maybe the choice was more for Lou to make than Jimmy, he figured. Elias hadn’t even given his wife Caroline that choice, and the only result was a life filled with emptiness and regret. It didn’t seem worth it.

"Everybody dies, son. Only diff’rence is what ya do till then."

Elias Mills' words came to him suddenly in one prophetic moment. Jimmy realized that he, too, was being given the same gift as Lou -- he'd been given another chance at life -- and Jimmy was not about to waste it.

"There may be hope for you yet, Hickok."

Opening his eyes again to face the world around him, Jimmy gave a slight smile and nod of understanding and gratitude to Elias, wherever he might have been. He felt a strange sense of peace sweeping through him and contentment coursing in his veins as he thought of Lou. In that moment, Jimmy knew there was hope for him...hope that his life could mean something and be filled with love and all the things he didn’t even realize he’d been searching for.

And that hope was Lou.

---

Chapter 25

The first warning Lou had was one of a strange sensation, that of being lifted up from the bottom of a murky midnight sea. She swam out of sleep, pushed through the fog of exhaustion and confusion to the surface where the light began to show. Deep brown eyes fluttered open slowly to the bright and blinding light of the sun-filled room. Blinking rapidly to adjust to the glaring intensity, Lou surveyed her surroundings, trying to retrieve her bearings and figure out where she was and what had happened to her.

The environment seemed strange and unfamiliar, but the people around her were not. These were her friends, her family. She smiled weakly, though it was the best she could give under the circumstances, as she absorbed the faces of Rachel, Teaspoon, Jesse, Kid, Buck, Noah, Cody, and finally, Jimmy.

Her smile seemed to broaden as she gazed upon Jimmy, the breath catching in her throat temporarily at the sight of him. He had not been shot as Lou had thought he might have been moments before she was hit by a bullet and rendered unconscious. She remembered clearly what happened...seeing Jimmy running into the street and Garrett's gun aimed at his back. When she'd first heard the sound of the gunfire, she thought for one horrible moment that Jimmy had been shot. She cried out for him, and then she was swept up in blackness. But Jimmy was okay; he was standing right in front of her.

"Good mornin', honey," Rachel said in her quiet, soothing Southern drawl. "How you feelin'?"

It took a few seconds before Lou regained enough awareness of her own body to respond. She felt tired and weak, as if she'd been asleep for weeks, and the left side of her stomach hurt like the dickens.

"I feel like hell warmed over," Lou managed to say, her voice slightly raspy. "But I'm so glad to see you all."

"You gave us quite a scare, young lady," the doctor said. Noting the lack of recognition on Lou's face, he introduced himself to her. "I'm Doctor Jensen, and you're in my office in Fenton."

"Fenton?" Lou repeated. "You're all here in Fenton?" She seemed surprised that all of her friends had come from Rock Creek to see her. It warmed her heart knowing just how much they cared, and for the first time in a really long time, she felt truly loved. She couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips at the thought.

Then she remembered. "Jeremiah! Where's Jeremiah?" she asked, her face suddenly twisted with fear.

Teaspoon quickly reassured her as he leaned down by her bed. "Don't worry, Lou, he's just fine. Jeremiah's safe 'n' sound. He didn't get much sleep worryin' about you. Eventually his body gave out, and he fell asleep on the bench in the waiting room."

Lou sighed with relief. "Thank God he's alright. I don't know what I woulda done if somethin' had happened to him."

Jimmy had slipped out of the room unnoticed, but then he walked back in to where Lou was lying, carrying the sleeping boy in his arms. He came over and sat by Lou's bedside, still holding Jeremiah. Seeing her brother safe, Lou reached out with all the strength she had and pushed her fingers through the boy's unruly brown hair. She felt the flow of tears stinging the back of her eyes. She hadn't lost her brother...She hadn't lost Jimmy.

Jeremiah opened his tired eyes and met those of his older sister. "I'm so sorry, Louise," he said softly, barely awake. "I didn't mean to run away. I didn't mean to..."

"Shhhhh," she tried to comfort him. "It's alright now. Everythin's gonna be all right."

As she glanced around the room so full of people she loved and who loved her in return, Lou realized that she was not only talking about Jeremiah, but about Kid and Jimmy...and most of all, about herself. Because for the first time, she believed that no matter what, everything was going to work out. She knew one hundred percent what was in her heart, and she was going to trust it. It has been a long and difficult journey, a painful one, too, but it was over now. Lou found her heart's desire, and he was sitting right in front of her. She was never going to let go of it.

Suddenly, a brilliant smile grew on her lips, seeming to erase the previous pallor of her skin. Lou regarded the faces of the people surrounding her, the people she loved more than anything. Her inner strength resonating in her words, she said, "Let's go home. It's time to go home."

---

Chapter 26

As soon as Lou was fit to travel, everyone left Fenton and headed back to Rock Creek. Lou was still unable to ride on horseback, so she and Rachel drove back in the buckboard.

Lou said goodbye to Jeremiah in Fenton, however, so that Buck could take the boy back to the orphanage in St. Jo. She wanted so much to bring him there herself, but she just wasn’t fully physically recovered yet. The journey would be too much for at this point, too exhausting. Promising to visit her brother and sister as soon as she was completely healed and could ride again, Lou reassured Jeremiah that she would never again go such a long time between visits. He believed and trusted Lou this time, having felt infinitely sorry for all the trouble he’d caused by running away.

When Lou finally arrived in Rock Creek, she had never before been so happy to be back home. She felt that even though a lot had changed and some things would never completely return to the way things were, this was her family and it was where she truly belonged. It was a long, hard lesson to learn, but she had survived it. She believed that she would only grow to be a stronger, better person as a result.

Just as the doctor predicted, Lou was recovering nicely and started to regain her old strength again within a few weeks. Even though she’d not been permitted to go on runs while she convalesced, the time seemed to fly by. Much of the time was spent with Jimmy, usually just talking and getting to know each other once more, or simply sitting in a companionable silence together.

Lou had seen the change in Jimmy even in Fenton when she first regained consciousness in the doctor’s office. He appeared more comfortable in his own skin and more willing to let Lou get close to him, to let her see what was in his soul. In a lot of ways, the two of them were starting over, beginning their relationship with a clean slate. They allowed themselves to be open to the possibilities of what their friendship would bring, and they would not be afraid of what the future might hold for them. They would just let things happen as destiny always intended.

In all this time, neither Jimmy nor Lou spoke words of love, but they both knew in their hearts all the same. They knew that the experience they shared -- the fear of almost losing each other -- had bound them together in a way that nothing could ever tear apart. The words seemed unnecessary at that point, because their hearts already knew.

Lou’s relationship with the Kid was also slowly but surely on the mend. Some slight tension was present between them at times, but it appeared that their friendship would be fully restored one day. The last shred of anger that Kid harbored against Jimmy and Lou had finally melted away, though some of the raw hurt still remained. They all understood how difficult a time Kid was having in coming to terms with the end of any romantic prospect with Lou. Much patience was required in the situation, but things seemed to be on their way to returning a state that was livable for them all.

One day, Kid entered the barn in search of Lou. He found here there as he hoped, mucking out the stalls. For a few moments before she sensed his presence, he just stood there and watched her, thinking how much he wished things had been different but knowing he couldn’t change anything. He couldn’t fight fate.

"I’ve lost you, Lou. Haven’t I?" he said sadly. It as more a statement – an admission – than a question. He knew the answer already. He’d known for a long time.

Lou simply looked at him, nodding tearfully. "I’m so sorry, Kid."

"I guess maybe there was a part of you I never really did have," he began, as he approached closer. "I guess I finally got it through my thick skull what you been tryin’ to tell me for a while now. That it’s over between us...That you ‘n’ me, that we’ll never be together again like we were."

Lou stood there listening intently to the Kid pouring his soul out to her, and her heart truly went out to him. She hated seeing him in so much pain.

Kid continued, unwilling to lose momentum for fear that he wouldn’t be able to start up again. "Maybe a part of me knew it all along, only I was too stubborn to admit it." He averted his gaze briefly, his tongue running over his lips unconsciously before beginning to speak again. "I was angry at you...and Jimmy. I was hurtin’. But I know it was wrong of me to take it out on you, because we can’t help who we love."

"No, we can’t," Lou agreed.

"You can’t help that you love Jimmy, just like I can’t help that I love you."

"Kid," she stepped nearer to him, her eyes boring into his with an indescribable intensity, "I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’ll never regret anything. You’ll always be special to me, Kid. You were my first love." A smile touched her face as she said those words before fading again into seriousness. "You were the first man who ever made me feel special, who made me feel like a real lady. And I’ll always love you for that."

Lou reached out and clasped the Kid’s hand in hers, squeezing gently and lovingly, with all the feelings she still had for him, and always would. He took her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing it softly. Feeling such a strong sense of closeness with him, Lou leaned in towards him and placed a kiss on his cheek. She then wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. And finally, they let go of each other...they let go of what they once had, of what they once hoped would be. They let go but they knew in their hearts that they would always share something special; their friendship would remain strong.

Then Kid watched as Lou turned and walked away. At last, she was at peace with herself and with her choice.

---

Chapter 27

One glorious evening when the sun was just beginning to set behind the mountains in the distance, turning the sky into a magnificent kaleidoscope of dusty pinks, indigos, and violets, Lou and Jimmy strolled along the outskirts of town. A gentle breeze stirred in the air around them as the last days of summer started to fade away into autumn. The tall summer-scorched grass rustled in the wind, a peaceful sound that seemed to soothe them both as they walked hand-in-hand in a comfortable silence.

"Lou," he broke the silence. He began slightly tentative at first, his eyes carrying a smoldering intensity as he looked at her, "I want you to know that I been doin’ a lot of thinkin’ lately."

"Oh? What about?" Lou asked him.

"About you...About us," Jimmy said.

Entering the blanketing shade and seclusion of an old tree, the two of them stopped and faced each other. Lou looked at Jimmy intently as he spoke.

His inner confidence growing as Lou’s eyes remained transfixed on his, Jimmy continued. "You were right about so many things, Lou. I admitted before that I was runnin’ away, runnin’ away from myself. What I didn’t say was that I was also runnin’ away from you.

"Elias showed me that," he continued, "but I was afraid to see it at the time. I even told him, 'Some things you just can't run away from.' But I couldn't bring myself to follow my own advice. Until now." He averted his eyes for a brief instant while such powerful emotions surged inside him.

Having gained control over the rapid pounding of his heart in his chest, Jimmy returned his gaze to Lou. He clasped his hands around hers, feeling tranquility and reassurance radiating in her touch.

"I was afraid to love you," Jimmy told her. "Afraid to let myself love you. And it took almost losin’ you to realize just how much I need you by my side."

Lou brought her hand up and caressed Jimmy’s cheek gently. She had the most beautiful expression on her face, her eyes so tender and filled with yearning. Jimmy reached up and covered her hand with his own, sensing her strength feeding into him.

"It ain’t gonna be easy, Lou," he began. "But if you’ll have me, I’ll gladly spend the rest of my days tryin’ to prove I’m the kind of man who’s worthy of you."

Lou smiled at Jimmy brilliantly, her heart replete with all the joy and love she felt for him. She felt the tears of happiness sting the back of her eyes, and an overwhelming tenderness burned through her entire being. "Oh, Jimmy. You got nothin’ to prove to me," she assured him. "I don’t care about anythin’ but bein’ with you. If there’s danger, I wanna be there to face it with you. I’m strong enough to handle any challenges that come our way."

Jimmy nodded, his face wreathed in a smile. "I know you are. I never shoulda doubted that."

"Elias once said I was woman enough to match you," Lou said, her eyes momentarily taking on a faraway look as she recalled the words of her sagacious friend.

---

"It wouldn't be an easy one," Elias told her.

"What are you talkin' about?" Lou asked, as the conversation seemed to come from out of the blue.

"You two," he clarified. "I saw you by the fire the other night."

"Oh, that," Lou averted her eyes, still wounded at the way Jimmy tried to shelve what had happened...the kiss they shared.

"You like him, dontcha?" It was more an observation than a question.

"I dunno," she told him.

"You'd be woman enough to match him," Elias pointed out.

"Told ya, I don't know if I feel that way. 'Sides, there's others to consider." At that point, Lou wasn't sure what she was wanted. She remembered Jimmy's lips pressing against hers with such passion. It was an expression filled with so much uncertainty, yet so much hope. But then she thought of the Kid and her doubts only multiplied.

"Always are," he conceded.

---

Again, Jimmy nodded in agreement, also reminiscing about just how much Elias Mills had managed to change his life in only a short time. "I reckon he was right about a lot of things."

Then, Jimmy clasped both of Lou’s hands in his and dropped down to one knee, his eyes never straying from hers. "Lou...Louise, will you be my wife, and make me the happiest man in the world?"

Instantly falling to her knees as well, Lou threw herself into Jimmy’s arms in one swift, heartfelt motion. "Yes!" she cried, bursting with exhilaration. "Oh, yes!"

Overcome with pure elation, Jimmy reached out both hands and brought Lou’s face in towards his for a passionate kiss. It was full of all the hunger and longing and raw need that had been growing within them for so long, and it could finally be released. As their entwined bodies collapsed into the grass in utter bliss, any doubts that Jimmy and Lou formerly harbored were long gone, and only a wonderful certainty and peace remained. They belonged to each other; they would be together always. Neither had ever experienced such happiness as they did at that moment, and they knew it was only the beginning of a new life, for both of them.

---

Chapter 28

The months rolled by and soon the trees became decorated in all the brilliant colors of autumn. But the season ushered in a lot more changes than just the turning of the leaves. Telegraph lines were being put up faster than anyone had ever imagined. In fact, it was nearly complete and would span from coast to coast, and it appeared to be only a matter of time before the Pony Express would become a thing of the past.

The biggest change by far was the impending war back East. Hostilities were growing so rapidly, and soon, everyone knew, the inevitable would take place. Even though Rock Creek was thousands of miles away from the nation’s capital in Washington, D.C., the Express family still felt the affects of the coming war just if it were right in their own backyard.

It was as Teaspoon once said: "War gets started like a prairie fire. Spreads faster than the wind, destroyin’ everythin’ and everybody in its path. Pretty soon there’s hardly anythin’ left that ain’t been touched by it."

Representatives from the Union Army were flooding the western territories trying to find a fresh source of recruits for the new war. The army sent their most persuasive and charismatic officers, hoping to evangelize the Union’s cause to the masses and somehow glorify joining in the conflict. They were very successful in convincing a lot of impressionable young men to leave their homes and families to go fight against the Southern rebels. They even managed to persuade Cody to enlist in the army as a scout, much to Teaspoon’s dismay.

Despite all the upheaval that surrounded them, Lou and Jimmy remained optimistic and more in love than ever as their wedding date approached. The future of their very livelihood seemed uncertain, but the couple knew that having each other was all they truly needed. They believed that together, they were strong enough to overcome the struggles they might have to face. Jimmy and Lou would tackle life’s challenges head on.

With the wedding only a week away, Lou and Rachel were busying themselves with all the necessary preparations. Lou was having some last-minute alterations on her dress completed, Rachel was getting the guest list finalized, and Jimmy had gotten the rings. It appeared that everything had been taken care of, except for one last thing...

"Hey, Kid," Jimmy approached his friend, who sat reading in the bunkhouse. He pulled up a chair and sat down at the table next to Kid. "I was wonderin’ if you’d do me a favor."

Kid looked up at him and asked, "What do you need, Jimmy?"

"I’d be honored if you’d stand up for me at my weddin’ as best man," Jimmy told him.

Kid looked at Jimmy and saw the sincerity etched on his facial features. The two had patched things up after returning from Fenton and resumed their old friendship, in spit of the political differences that sometimes flared up in the midst of the nation’s growing conflict. Kid dropped his gaze for a minute while he pondered Jimmy’s request. Even these months later, Kid still felt the dull ache in knowing that the woman he’d loved, and probably always would love, would soon marry his best friend. He looked back up and was met with a pleading in Jimmy’s eyes.

"It means a lot that you asked me, Jimmy, but I don’t think I can do it," Kid replied, trying to decline the request in the most genteel way possible. "It’d just be too hard."

Jimmy nodded in complete understanding, yet he couldn’t help but feel a bit wounded. He realized how difficult it would be for Kid to stand up at the altar and watch Lou walk down the aisle towards another, but it didn’t stop the fact that Jimmy wanted his best friend to be a part of such an important day.

"You’ll at least be there, won’t you?"

"I don’t think Lou would let either of us hear the end of it if I didn’t come," Kid confessed, his voice containing a slightly humorous tone.

Jimmy chucked as well, understanding just how true that statement was.

"Well, if you happen to change your mind, know that there’s always a place for you," Jimmy affirmed to his friend as he rose from his seat to leave.

"Thanks, Jimmy," Kid replied in earnest. "I appreciate the offer."

As Jimmy turned his back and exited the bunkhouse, Kid watched on without an ounce of resentment in his body. Yet he still wondered to himself when it would get any easier...when the hurt would go away.

---

Chapter 29

This chapter contains excerpts in dialog from "’Til Death Do Us Part".

The day of the wedding had finally arrived, and the Rock Creek Express Station had been bustling with activity since sunrise that morning. The list of last-minute details seemed endless, but everyone gladly pitched in because, more than anything, they wanted Lou and Jimmy’s special day to be as close to perfect as possible.

Once the time was almost near, Teaspoon, Jimmy, and Noah – who was serving as best man – went to the church to wait as the guests began to arrive. The entire town showed up, and even Sam and Emma had traveled all the way from Fort Laramie to witness the joyous occasion. If that weren’t surprise enough, Buck and Cody had gone to the orphanage in St. Joseph a few days before to pick up Jeremiah and Theresa so they could see their big sister get married. Lou had been so happy to see them, and having her family – all of it – present on such an important day of her life only served to make it that much more meaningful.

---

"Do I look alright, Rachel?" Lou asked, examining herself one final time in the mirror before she would head over to the church where everyone was waiting.

Smiling at her young friend, the tears already beginning to coat her eyes, Rachel said, "You look absolutely beautiful, Lou. Jimmy’s just gonna wanna run and grab you in his arms the minute he sees you comin’ down that aisle."

"Thanks, Rachel," she said. "And thank you so much for the earrings. They’re lovely." Her fingers came up to touch the delicate dangling earbobs that Rachel had given her the night before.

---

Rachel and Lou were outside by the stables at sunset, the sky painted a vibrant canvass of oranges and reds and corals. They'd been talking about the wedding the next day and about Lou and Jimmy's future together when Rachel pulled out a little red velvet pouch with a gold drawstring.

"I almost forgot to give you this," Rachel said, handing over the pouch to Lou.

Lou released the drawstring and emptied the contents of the pouch into her palm. She gasped when she saw the lovely cameo earbobs. "Oh, Rachel!"

"They're pretty aren't they?" Rachel smiled dreamily. "My mama gave them to me the night before I got married, and my grandmother gave them to her, and...I want you to have 'em."

"I can't take these," Lou protested, attempting to hand the earrings back to Rachel only to have her gently push them away.

"Please," Rachel pleads with tear-filled eyes. "It's important to me. I don't know if I'll ever have a daughter, but if I do, I hope she grows up to be just like you."

With no choice but to accept the gift, Lou smiled at Rachel thankfully, and the two women embraced.

---

"Are you nervous?" Rachel wondered with a warm smile.

Lou simply shook her head, her lips pursed in a smile that radiated confidence and certainty. "No. I’m not nervous. ‘Cause I know this is what I want." She clasped onto Rachel’s hands, squeezing them affectionately. "I’m so happy, Rachel. I never thought I could be this happy."

"You ‘n’ Jimmy both deserve every bit of happiness that life has to offer." Rachel sniffled slightly, wiping back the tears that had begun to spill. She laughed at herself and her sentimental foolishness. "Well, just look at me, gettin’ all carried away and cryin’ when I should be gettin’ you over to the church." Rachel paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "You ready?"

"I’m ready," Lou answered in a heartbeat, because she knew without a doubt that she truly was.

---

The guests had already taken their places in the church, filling the pews entirely so that there was only standing room left. Teaspoon stood behind the pulpit while Jimmy and Noah stood just to the right of him. While the organ played softly in the background, everyone eagerly awaited the arrival of the bride.

It was almost time, Jimmy knew, but the Kid had not yet arrived. He hadn’t come with the others, and Jimmy looked over sadly to the empty seat they had reserved for him next to Cody and Buck. He could understand Kid not wanting to accept the role of best man. Maybe he didn’t want to feel that he was runner-up to Jimmy where Lou was first prize. No consolation prize would ever do. But Jimmy was extremely hurt that Kid had not even come.

But all that seemed forgotten when the organ began to play the bridal march, the music filling the small church all the way up to the rafters. The sound of the organ reverberated in Jimmy’s ears for only a brief moment before it was drowned out by the pounding of his own heart as it raced in wonderful anticipation of seeing his soon-to-be bride. Eyes transfixed on the front of the church, Jimmy watched as the double doors opened and Lou stepped inside, a vision in lace and flowing white taffeta. She was led in by Jesse, his sapphire blue eyes sparkling with the honor of the task of giving Lou away.

Lou had only taken a few steps before the doors flew open once more. The music stopped this time as everyone turned and saw the Kid rush into the church. He paused and looked around at everybody apologetically for interrupting the procession.

He glanced at Lou, and then at Jimmy, and said, "Hope I’m not too late."

Lou smiled at him, and Jimmy came down the aisle to where Kid stood. Jimmy was genuinely happy to see that his best friend had decided to attend after all. The two men shook hands, reaffirming the solidity of their friendship.

"You’re just in time," Jimmy told him.

Together, they walked up toward the altar and Kid took his rightful place beside Jimmy and Noah. Teaspoon looked on approvingly, beaming with pride at ‘his boys’. They’d grown up.

The music started again, and Lou took a deep breath, contented that everything was now perfect for her wedding. It was all more than she could have ever hoped or dreamed for, more than she imagined existed within the realm of possibility.

As Lou made her way towards him, Jimmy could not take his eyes off of her. Everything about Lou was radiant...from the colorful wreath of flowers adorning her silken copper-tinted hair, to the porcelain glow of her flawless skin, to the way her gown accentuated her petite figure so perfectly, to the luminosity in her dark brown eyes. He could hardly breathe, she was so beautiful. And in mere minutes she would be his wife. It was hard to believe the moment was real, but it was. It was hard to believe that all the love emanating from her eyes was for him. Jimmy stood in utter amazement and humble gratitude.

Finally, Lou reached her destination, and it was Jimmy. Lord, did he look handsome, Lou thought. He was dressed in a fine black linen suit with a matching vest and string tie. His shirt was crisp and white, and his long brown hair was brushed smooth and straight to a high sheen. But to Lou, nothing looked better than the smile on his face and the passion in his eyes.

Jimmy held out his hand, and Jesse transferred Lou’s hand into the groom’s and then stepped aside to sit beside Rachel and the others. They turned to face each other, with Teaspoon standing behind them ready to begin the ceremony.

"Shall we begin?" Teaspoon motioned to the congregation to take their seats.

Following a few moments of dramatic silence, Teaspoon began.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the site of God and in the face of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony..."

---

Chapter 30

The town square was bedecked with dozens of hanging lanterns illuminating the post-wedding festivities. There was music and dancing and tables covered in white linen cloths and the most wonderful food imaginable. People were dressed in all their finery, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. All troubles had vanished on the wind, at least for this one glorious early autumn evening.

Jimmy and Lou had become lost in their own world filled with the magic and splendor that only love could bring as they waltzed to the sweet sound of violins, holding each other close. Savoring the wildflower scent of his new bride’s hair, Jimmy inhaled deeply while he leaned in even closer to her, allowing it to permeate into his entire being. The delicate perfume of her skin would forever make him weak with love while at the same time, giving him strength.

His heart overflowing with joy and a tremendous feeling of awe, Jimmy pulled away just enough so that he could admire Lou and gaze into her eyes. "I never thought I could be this happy, Lou," he confessed, his face gleaming with love and longing and desire.

"Me neither," Lou said, her voice sweet as honey. "It all feels like a dream somehow."

"If it is a dream then I never wanna wake up," Jimmy told her. Then he buried his face in her hair once more as the couple continued to whirl around the dance floor. Jimmy knew he could never tire of the feeling of her in his arms.

Soon they stopped swaying to the music, and Jimmy reached out and touched Lou’s face. His fingers were as delicate against her skin as rose petals, his caress sending shivers of pleasure throughout her body.

"I love you, Mrs. Hickok," he whispered, his tone low and sultry and heavy with emotion.

"I know you do," Lou said with a smile. "And I love you, too, Mr. Hickok. Always and forever."

The power of her words flooded through Jimmy with a wave of unspeakable ecstasy. He pulled Lou in closer for a kiss, one of many they would share. Jimmy and Lou had the rest of their lives to share together. And they knew that while they have allotment of struggles and difficulties, they would also experience more happiness than they could have ever imagined possible.

The young couple hadn’t even noticed that the music had stopped -- they had been immersed in their own private Eden -- until they heard Teaspoon clear his throat to begin his announcement.

"Lou, Jimmy..." he began with a wink and a smirk, "if you two lovebirds would quit kissin’ for a while, I think the best man has somethin’ to say to you."

Lou flushed slightly at Teaspoon’s remark, lifting her hands to her face to cool the warmth rising in her cheeks. She latched her arm around Jimmy as the two stood in the center of the dance area, their friends and family all around.

Silence enshrouded them for several moments while Kid rose from his seat at the table beside Teaspoon and started to speak. "Even though I was asked to be best man, some of you might not know that Jimmy ‘n’ me didn’t always see eye to eye on things...especially when it came to Lou." He sounded nervous at first, his voice quavering slightly, but as Kid continued, he gained the confidence he needed, drawing strength from deep inside himself.

"There were a lot of fights. A lot of black eyes and battered pride, but it was usually a pretty even match. You might recall a certain boxin’ competition a while back where me ‘n’ Jimmy fought so long and so hard that we both collapsed and neither of us won. Well, I can honestly say now, after everythin’ that’s been said an’ done, that the best man won after all."

At that point Kid raised his glass in a toast, the other guests following suit. "Here’s to Jimmy and Lou," he continued, "the best man...and the very best woman. I know they’ll have many years of happiness together."

The newlyweds were extremely touched at the Kid’s speech. Jimmy nodded slightly at his best friend in silent and grateful acknowledgment of the courage it required for him to say the words he’d just spoken. Teary-eyed from the heartfelt congratulations, Lou turned to look at her husband, her eyes glittering in the moonlight and a luminous smile on her face. Wordlessly, their expressions communicated just how lucky they knew they were to have such true friends to stand by them.

The music and the dancing started up again shortly after, and Jimmy took advantage of the opportunity to once again wrap Lou in his strong, warm embrace. She was only too happy to oblige.

After the dance was over, Lou whispered something into Jimmy’s ear and then broke away from him, her eyes smiling. She crossed the dance floor, her gown rustling with each step she took, and approached the Kid.

"I wanna thank you for what you said up there," she said with appreciation. "I know it wasn’t easy." She leaned into him and kissed him softly on the cheek.

"I meat what I said," Kid told her, still sensing the warm, burning imprint of her lips on his skin.

"Earlier you asked me to save you a dance," she reminded him as she held out her arms to him, inviting him to share a waltz with her.

Kid’s mouth formed an upturned expression, and he gladly took her in his arms. They danced slow and close, the music sweeping around them.

"I’m happy that you’re happy, Lou," Kid said sincerely while they swayed gracefully to the soothing melody.

"That means a lot to me, Kid," Lou replied affectionately. "And it means a lot to both of us that you were a part of our weddin’. I know it ain’t been easy for you, and I thank you for it."

Kid simply nodded in acknowledgment. "I was wrong to try and change you, Lou," he admitted. "Jimmy saw what I didn’t...that you’re perfect just the way you are. I know it’s too late to change anythin’, and I realize now that this is the way things were meant to be. I just wanted you to know all the same."

"Thanks, Kid," she responded. "I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us, but I know someday, you’ll find the right woman. And I’d consider her a very luck lady."

Kid nodded and forced his lips into a hint of a smile, but secretly he wondered if he’d ever find anyone else who could compare to Louise McCloud. She’d always have a piece of his heart.

"Thank you for givin’ me the chance to love you," Kid murmured softly in her ear.

Pulling away from Lou slightly as the dance ended, Kid looked over her shoulder and saw Jimmy standing there watching them with a contented expression on his face. He glanced back at Lou with a boyish grin and said, "I think I’ve kept you away from your husband for long enough."

Kid led Lou across the floor into Jimmy’s waiting arms. The two men shook hands, a tacit understanding gliding between them. Then Kid turned and started to walk away, but before he did, he spun back around momentarily and said, "Take care of her for me, Jimmy."

"You know I will," came the earnest reply.

Nodding, Kid walked back to the edge of the dance area and stood watching as Jimmy and Lou danced, their faces shining with all the love they had for each other, all the passion. Kid couldn’t help but observe from the sidelines with a twinge of longing squeezing in his chest.

Teaspoon approached him and put his hand on Kid’s back. "You done the right thing, Kid," he assured him.

"I know," Kid conceded. "I just wonder if it’ll ever stop hurtin’."

"Maybe not completely," Teaspoon answered him honestly. "But I know from firsthand experience that it’ll only keep gettin’ better ‘n’ better. The heart is a wondrous organ, Kid. Weak enough to shatter with an unkind word, strong enough to survive a lost love. It always finds a way to mend itself, in time."

"I hope so, Teaspoon," Kid sighed, wanting so much for that to be true. But he continued to fight the growing sense of isolation he felt inside while he watched his best friend and the woman a part of him still loved entwined in each other’s arms.

---

Epilogue

Jimmy and Lou spent a majority of time during the wedding reception enfolded in each other’s arms on the dance floor. Neither one had felt terribly proficient in dancing previously, but that didn’t seem to matter when they were together. The young couple moved in unison like a single being, a single entity floating and gliding across the ground with such grace and harmony. It was easy for everyone around to see the depth of love Jimmy and Lou had for each other and to be somewhat envious of it.

Eventually, the guests returned to their homes, and the formal celebration was over. The Pony Express family remained until the very end, bidding Jimmy and Lou farewell for the evening as they retired to the hotel where they would truly begin their married life together.

Jimmy and Lou walked hand in hand on their way to the hotel room, their faces glowing and their hearts soaring with eager anticipation of their first night alone. Once upstairs, Jimmy opened the door to their room and then lifted Lou into his arms to carry her over the threshold. Following a squeal of sheer delight, Lou draped her arms around her husband’s neck, her eyes never straying from his as they entered the room.

Once inside the privacy of the room, Jimmy kicked the door shut with his boot-clad foot and set Lou back on her feet, capturing her mouth with his in a deeply passionate, yet tender, kiss. Eventually, they pulled apart just enough so that they could gaze into each other’s eyes. Jimmy regarded Lou with such wonder...wonder that she was actually his and this was their wedding night. The best dream in the world could never have lived up to this moment of reality. It could never have even come close.

Jimmy brought his hand up to touch her cheek, smoothing away a wisp of her hair gone astray. He couldn’t help but smile at the expression on her face. It was so beautiful, so peaceful, and so full of love and desire for him. His heart leaping with jubilation inside his chest, Jimmy knew that this was the moment he’d been waiting for his entire life. For a long time, Jimmy hadn’t wanted to believe he deserved such love, such happiness, but Lou made him realize that he was worthy...she made him believe in himself. The rest of the world around them could go to the devil for all he cared, because for tonight and for the rest of his life, he wasn’t going to ever let himself be Wild Bill Hickok; he was just Jimmy. And that was enough for him...it enough for Lou.

"May I have the pleasure of this dance, Mrs. Hickok?" Jimmy asked his lovely new wife, his voice husky with emotion and a tinge of wickedness.

The familiar euphemism for lovemaking apparent, Lou flushed slightly at the sultry glint in Jimmy’s eyes and replied in a courtly tone, "You may."

"And I’d also like to claim the dance after that," Jimmy added, his lips turning upward in a mischievous grin. "And after that, and after that..." His voice dropped to a whisper as he began to trail kisses along Lou’s forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her cheek, her jaw line, and her neck.

His sweet breath warm against her skin, Lou smiled and replied, "All my dances are reserved for you, Mr. Hickok." She looked at him so adoringly that Jimmy thought his heart would burst into a million pieces from total euphoria. "I love you, Jimmy," she told him, her smile fading but replaced by an expression of utter wanting and yearning.

"God, I love you so much," he sighed, the flames of passion igniting and burning through him like wildfire.

Voices became hushed as they converged in another kiss, feeding off of each other and tasting hungrily, savoring every second. Too long had they waited for this; too long had they been searching for the sense of wholeness and belonging that only being with each other could provide. Their mouths still joined as one, Jimmy quickly swept Lou back up into his arms as if she weighed no more than a feather. He laid her down on the bed gently, and soon his body covered hers, as they became lost in love and in each other.

The world around the young married couple was blocked out entirely while Lou and Jimmy engaged in a dance as old as time...the first of what they knew would be a lifetime of dances and shared moments. Their spirits had been carried off to a place –- a beautiful, mythical, magical paradise -- where no one existed but the two of them and their perfect love. They were one in their completeness. And though the threat of war loomed on the horizon and the Pony Express and their familiar way of life seemed to be nearing an end, Jimmy and Lou knew that, for them, this was only the beginning.

-THE END-

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