Chapter One

March 1861

A number of the townsfolk of Rock Creek milled in and out of Rachel Dunne's small living room as the gathering after Noah's funeral continued throughout the afternoon. Though not expected to be a lively affair, the gloomy and somber faces of the room's occupants made many of the guests uncomfortable. The threat of war and the presence of the blue-coated soldiers in town had affected each and every one of them, overshadowing the death of the young rider. The guests paid their respects to Rachel and to Teaspoon, and stayed no longer than absolutely necessary.

The other riders, what was left of them, spoke to no one, not even each other. Buck sat quietly by himself in the corner watching the hushed murmuring of people who had not even really known Noah. And yet his funeral caused a crowd to gather, due to the fact that the townspeople had marked his death as the beginning of the War Between the States. All afternoon the talk had been of secession of the Confederate states, Jefferson Davis, and Lincoln's recent inauguration. There was a buzz of fear and excitement in the crowd that sickened Buck to his stomach. He wanted no part of any of it. Before long he saddled his horse and rode slowly out of town to find some peace. Like Ike's death, he could make no sense of Noah's passing, and he would never understand the white man's need to kill each other in a futile civil war.

Cody stood composed and silent with Captain Erbach and the few soldiers who accompanied them. He was eager to be on his way too, though he knew his leaving so soon after the loss of their friend would be hard on Teaspoon and Rachel. Noah's death had left Cody empty. He knew no other solution but to leave with the army as soon as possible. Until then he would be unable to exact any revenge for the senseless killing. Cody needed to do that, lest his guilt and regret get the better of him. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other with controlled impatience as Erbach placated some worried mothers over the coming fighting. Cody wanted to be on his way.

Across the room, Rosemary Burke was similarly eager to leave Rock Creek. She shared Cody's guilt over Noah's death, deep down she even felt responsible. She could not bear to stay on a place where his friends secretly, and in some cases openly, accused her of bringing about his murder. She had no ties to the place and stayed only out of courtesy. But then, she also stayed for Jimmy's sake. She would stay to mourn the passing of his friend as long as he needed to, but it was her hope that now the Pony Express would be disbanded, Jimmy would be free to go with her to Kansas. Rosemary would find her own revenge fulfilled when she rejoined the abolitionists who once fought with her husband. Their work was only beginning, and the outbreak of war only heightened her desire to be where she was needed.

Jimmy would go with her, Rosemary was not mistaken about that. He had not left her side all day and had defended her to all of his friends. Jimmy would not stand for accusatory looks and snide remarks about her. They had not discussed the idea of leaving Rock Creek so soon, but now he would take little convincing. He sat, stony- faced, beside her, his dark eyes surveying the room until they fell on Louise who was comforting Rachel. The stationmistress had taken Jesse's leaving hard, and the sadness of the day's events had been too much Rachel who loved all the riders as if they were her own. Lou held her hand and patted it absently, her thoughts obviously elsewhere. Jimmy watched as her eyes stole around the room, looking for someone. Jimmy did not have to guess who. Mumbling a few words to Rosemary, he slipped out of the room and made his way outside into the early evening air.

Lou could not see him anywhere, and realized she had not seen him for at least a couple of hours since they had returned from Noah's graveside. Ashamed that she had not noticed her husband was missing from the room, Lou gave Rachel's hand a final squeeze and left her with Teaspoon.

Peering through the window of the parlor she could see that Katy was still in the corral, so Kid could not be far. They had barely spoken since Noah's death. It was as if they were too afraid to talk about the recent events and what they meant for their future. Lou had spent long, sleepless nights dreading what would come to pass — what she knew in her heart would happen now that the war was upon them. In her mind she could try and pretend otherwise, but she could not deny the dread-filled surety she felt in her heart.

Lou swallowed with difficulty as climbed the narrow staircase of Rachel's house. Soon she was standing before the closed door of the room she and Kid now shared. Her thoughts momentarily flew back to the days when they lived peaceably in the bunkhouse with the other riders — back when Ike and Noah were still alive and then when Jesse arrived to make a nuisance of himself. They had been so happy and carefree in those days that the memories were painful to her now. She could not look back if she was face to the inevitable future.

She placed a trembling hand on the doorknob and pushed it open. The room was beginning to darken as the sun slipped below the horizon, but she could still see Kid sitting on the bed staring out of the window. She smiled to herself when she saw his familiar strong back and shoulders, his tousled brown hair that fell to his collar. It was a comforting sight that sparked hope in her — perhaps she had been wrong all along… perhaps things could go on as they always had.

But then her eyes fell on the saddlebags on the bed beside him, lying half packed with Kid's clothes. Lou's chest thudded painfully and her hand tightened on the edge of the door. Giving herself a moment to compose herself, she cleared her throat and tried to speak as if nothing were wrong, as if she didn't feel panicked by what was to come.

"Here you are, I've been lookin' for you." Her voice was tight with emotion but Kid did not even seem to hear her. She stepped forward into the room. "Kid?"

"Huh?" he said after a few seconds of silence. He turned his head in surprise. "Sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I just said I've been looking for you. Have you been up here all afternoon?" Lou wished her voice didn't sound so timid, but she could barely control the fear she felt.

"I guess so."

She looked at the saddlebags again, but Kid had already resumed staring out of the window. He withdrew into his silence once more. Lou knew she would have to be the one to say it. Smiling sadly as if to cushion the blow, she ventured quietly:

"You're leavin', aren't you?"

He stood and walked towards the window. After a long pause, Kid's eyes met hers and she was taken aback to see they were shining with unshed tears. He glanced down at his feet as if looking at her was too painful.

"I have to go."

"I know."

Lou blinked back her own tears and walked towards him, but focusing on the window. She looked out over the town as dusk fell and watched the few people on the street going about their business as if nothing had happened. Louise's life was changing all around her but everyone else was just going on as normal. It didn't seem fair.

"What about the Pony Express?" she said to her own dim reflection in the glass.

"Teaspoon will understand. I'm sure he'll be able to find another rider to replace me."

Lou bit her bottom lip as he continued to avoid the most important issue facing them. She turned around to face him finally, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I hope you weren't plannin' to ride on without me again." The lightness in her voice failed to resonate, leaving her words hollow.

Kid sighed and looked down at her. "I can't take you with me to Virginia, Lou. It'll be too dangerous."

"Let's get one thing straight, Kid," Lou stated. "I won't let you leave me behind this time. You promised me you never would and I aim to hold you to that."

Kid smiled grimly when he thought of the promise made in the graveyard in Davenport where Lou had finally agreed to marry him. She had said she wanted to face any trouble with him, but Kid was afraid this was too much trouble for either of them to face. He felt it was his duty to return to his home and defend the land he had grown up on, but he could not put Lou in danger and risk losing her. When he told her as much she shunned his response.

"I won't stay here safe on Rock Creek while you're off fightin' in Virginia!" she said vehemently. "I'm coming and that's final."

Lou stalked across the room and started to pull out her own clothes from the bureau. Kid's eyes narrowed with determination of their own, and he grabbed hold of her wrist as she stuffed a handful of garments into the saddlebags.

"Lou, listen to me," he said fiercely, "I don't want you to come. It's too dangerous and no place for a lady. If somethin' happened to you I couldn't live with myself."

"And what about me?" Lou cried back. "What if somethin' happens to you in Virginia when I'm thousands of miles away? I don't want to lose you either, Kid. I need to be as close to you as I possibly can. I couldn't bear it otherwise… Please, don't leave me all alone."

Lou's last imploring words came out as barely a whisper, as tears fell down her cheeks.

"I've lost almost all of my friends and family," she said. "All the boys'll be leavin', and so will Teaspoon. I may never see any of them again. But you're my family now. You're my husband and we are supposed to be together. I love you too much to lose you."

Kid's face softened even as his chest ached painfully. He held her tightly as she wept, her body trembled against his. She clung to his neck as if her life depended on it and he was undone.

Kid wished they could banish the rest of the world and ignore the doings of other men that threatened to rip them apart. They belonged to each other and he knew they needed to be together for as long as they possibly could.

"Promise you won't leave me," she whispered in his arms.

"I promise," Kid said finally, hugging her even closer.

* * *

Chapter Two

Within the week, Kid and Lou said goodbye to their family in Rock Creek and were on their way to Virginia. Their leave-taking had been difficult, particularly for Cody who, if circumstances prevailed, might find himself on opposite sides of the battlefield from Kid. No one spoke of that possibility. Rachel had taken their departure very badly as well, having to say goodbye to her best friend and confidante in Lou. They did not know if they would see each other again, any of them, but the war had already divided the family irrevocably and there was no turning back.

Louise was quiet as they rode east, lost in her own thoughts. They would be spending two days in St. Joseph during their journey so she could visit with her brother and sister in the orphanage. Lou remembered her promise to come for her family when she could, and she would have liked nothing more than to have them with her in Virginia while Kid was off fighting. But she knew it would be dangerous, and Theresa and Jeremiah were much safer staying in St. Joe. It was Lou's hope that after the war they would be able to be together as a family, this time forever. If the Confederates could be believed this would only be in a few weeks' time. Louise was hopeful, but somehow she did not believe that the war would be fought out so quickly.

The journey to Virginia was long and tiring, but neither Kid nor Lou wanted to hurry it any. They had not been married long and the war would soon separate them, so their time together now was precious. Her visit with Jeremiah and Theresa was a happy reunion, but Lou valued the moments spent with her husband more. They passed through countryside familiar and unknown to her, rugged and breathtakingly beautiful. The further east they went the greener the landscape became. The south was everything she had remembered it to be, and Virginia everything Kid had described. As they drew closer to Kid's childhood home, Lou could finally understand just what the land meant to him, and how difficult it must have been for him to leave when he was fifteen.

The Kid had been raised in a small farming district near Manassas. His father had been a cruel drunkard and had lost the family's land and money, so before Kid was a teenager they had been forced go their separate ways in order to make ends meet. His brother Jed had stayed in Manassas with a neighboring farmer's family, while Kid and his mother had moved in with relatives not far from Richmond, just outside Williamsburg. Kid's aunt and her husband had not been overly thrilled with the prospect of two more mouths to feed, but Kid soon proved himself to be an able farmhand. It was not long before they were able to borrow enough money to purchase their own small plot of land, and it was here close to the cool waters of Chesapeake Bay that he spent the remainder of his short childhood.

Kid was fifteen when his mother died, leaving him to pay off their debts. Rather than spend his life trying to scratch out a living on the farm, he had chosen to head west in search of adventure and fortune. The adventure he had found when he signed up for the Pony Express, but the fortune had eluded him thus far. More valuable than any treasure though, in Kid's opinion, was that he had met Lou.

He was remarkably different from the naïve boy who set out from Virginia, and he could not help but wonder if the land he had known and loved had changed as well. This land that he felt the need to defend, with his very life if required…

But the war was not supposed to last long. Kid planned to take Lou to stay with his cousin and elderly aunt who still lived on their farm near Williamsburg. His cousin Robert was older than him by a dozen years and had become the elder brother he missed in Jed, so Kid knew he could be trusted. Rob had married young and stayed on the land, and although Kid had not seen him for many years, he did not doubt that Rob would still be on the same family farm as always. Kid was not sure if he intended to fight too, but if he did then Isobel, Rob's wife, would probably be glad of Lou's company. Kid would worry less about her if he knew she was with family.

They finally reached Richmond and set out on the final part of their journey. The countryside was lush and tranquil as they passed, prompting Lou to make-believe that there would be no war and all reports to the contrary had been a huge mistake. It was impossible to think of war when surrounded by so much beauty.

She glanced over at Kid as they rode on, wondering how many times they had traveled together like this, and when they would be able to do so again. She slipped her hand into his as they rode side by side and tried not to think about their impending separation.

They finally reached the farm in the late afternoon, and Kid was almost moved to tears when he saw that nothing had changed in his absence. A few cows and horses grazed in the lush grass, and beyond he could see small fields of crops swaying gently in the breeze. The cool air smelled sweet from the bay as smoke furled gently from the chimney of the farmhouse. Chickens pecked in the yard and an old dog burrowed lazily under the porch. Kid had never seen such a perfect sight, and he remembered why he had come all this way to fight. This land was part of him and of his family, and it was his duty to protect it.

He smiled at Lou, who seemed as taken with the farm as he was. No one appeared to be around as they dismounted, and the thought that perhaps his family had moved on after all flashed through Kid's mind.

"Hello?" he called out tentatively.

A man emerged from the back of the house, wiping his hands on a rag. He was tall and broad with brown curly hair, dressed in well-used overalls. Louise had no trouble picking the family resemblance.

"Help you?" the man asked, tucking the rag into his pocket. He suspected the couple in his yard were travelers out to buy some fresh provisions. More and more young men had passed through the area recently on their way to enlist in Davis's provisional Confederate forces

"Well now, that's a fine welcome, Robert Owens," said Kid cheerily.

Rob squinted a took a few steps forward. "Do I know you?" The young man did look familiar, but in the fading light it was difficult to tell.

"I should think so. It hasn't been that long. Although when I left here I suppose I was just a kid."

"Kid!" Robert approached them faster now, recognizing his cousin. "By God, is that you?"

Kid laughed as the older man embraced him in a crushing bear hug. "It's good to see you, Rob."

Rob took a step back and shook his head in disbelief. "Look at you! You're all growed up. I swear, you look like your brother too… Not a kid no more, I guess."

"Don't worry, the name's stuck." Kid grinned from ear to ear.

"Where've you been all these years, boy?"

"Out West. Up Nebraska territory the last coupla years."

"And who's this?" asked Rob, eyeing Lou who still stood with her horse's reins in hand.

"This, cousin Robert, is my wife, Louise," said Kid proudly, placing an arm around her.

"I swear," Rob muttered, shaking his head some more. "All growed up and married. Who would've thought? I'm pleased to meet you, Louise."

"And you," Lou replied. Rob seemed a friendly, good-natured sort. She realized that apart from Jed, he was he only member of Kid's family she had ever met. "Kid's told me so much about you all, I feel like I already know you."

"I'll bet I can guess what he told you. Don't you believe a word of it, now." Rob laughed and slapped Kid's shoulder, his eyes shining with delight at his cousin's surprise return after so many years. "Isobel will be happy to see you again. Momma too. Come on in the house."

"Isobel still puttin' up with you then?" Kid joked as the entered the house.

"Don't you worry, she has me well behaved."

They entered the small farmhouse together, which turned out to be a small collection of rooms surrounding a central kitchen and eating area. A woman was bent over an open hearth, stirring a pot which smelled enticing. She had heard voices in the yard and guessed that her husband had invited more strangers to share a meal with them.

"Isobel, honey, you'll never guess who's here," Rob bellowed as he ushered them in.

His wife turned to greet their visitors and was surprised to see Kid standing where she had been expecting army recruits.

"Kid? Well, I'll be, it's Kid!" she beamed and crossed the room to hug him.

"At least you remember me, Isobel," Kid replied, elbowing Rob in the ribs.

"I remember you were a good deal shorter when you left. But I did dance a waltz with you at my wedding, and made all the girls jealous," she replied. "It's about time we saw you again, Kid. You've been away too long."

Kid admitted the fault with a shamed nod of the head, but he was soon smiling proudly as he introduced Lou. "Isobel, I'd like you to meet my wife, Louise."

Isobel smiled slyly a Kid before turning her gaze on Lou.

"Hello, Louise. I must say you're a lucky woman. Our Kid was considered quite a catch before he ran off to the wilds of the West. I'm glad to meet you."

Louise smiled as she sized up the woman before her. Isobel Owens was tall and thin, a sharp nose dominating her face which was surrounded by fine blonde hair. Lou could tell she had been a great beauty in her youth, but even though she was probably not much older than thirty, the years as a farmer's wife had made her features blunt. The warmth with she spoke endeared her to Louise immediately.

"What on earth are you doing out here, Kid? We thought you'd be mining gold out in California by now," Isobel continued as she took Louise by the arm and deposited her in a chair beside the fire. She recognized fatigue in the young woman which went beyond tiredness and resolved to take care of her.

"It's been a long time since I left, I know. But I think you can guess why I came back," Kid said, his voice serious now.

"Don't tell me you're foolish enough to be going off to this God forsaken fight?" Isobel asked harshly. She threw a sharp glance at her husband who had remained silent up until now. "You're as bad as each other."

"Now, Isobel, Kid's just doing his duty like the rest of us," Rob countered, casting a slightly embarrassed look at his cousin. The war was a sore topic in his house. "It's up to all of us to stop those damn Yankees telling us what to do. When Virginia secedes we have to defend her."

"What happened to your duty to your family, Robert Owens? Or your duty to your wife, Kid? I swear, men have no more sense than chickens sometimes." Isobel huffed and banged a coffee pot onto the table as she poured both Kid and Lou a cup of the hot liquid.

"You aim to enlist then, Kid?" Rob asked quietly. He was used to his wife's ire when the subject of fighting came up, and was glad that he had a new ally in his cousin.

"That's why we're here. Why I had to come back," said Kid simply.

Isobel's face darkened further as she sat heavily into a chair beside an increasingly morose looking Lou. The two women shared a brief glance that spoke volumes.

Rob held out his hand to shake Kid's.

"Welcome home," he said grimly.

* * *

Chapter Three

Kid and Lou spent a rowdy evening with the Owens family, due to their three lively children all under the age of ten. Amelia, the eldest, was immediately taken with Lou and insisted on sitting next to her during dinner. Lou could not help but be overwhelmed by her energetic brothers aged seven and six, as it had been quite some time since she had been around children so young.

Isobel and Rob did not seem to mind the loud conversations and children quarreling as they ate, but Lou felt herself withdrawing from all the noise and excitement in the small house. She longed for the open spaces of their journey east once again, where she could be alone with Kid in the cool spring breeze.

Another challenge was Kid's aunt Corinne, the matriarch of the household. The small, wizened woman sat, for the most part, in her rocking chair by the fire, but she let her opinions be known throughout the evening whenever she saw fit to comment on their conversation. She berated the children as unruly ruffians and admonished Isobel for letting them run wild. Isobel, for her part, seemed not to hear the unkind words of the old woman, and smiled ruefully at Lou when she caught her eye.

Corinne's chief focus that evening was Kid's boyish wife, Louise. Corinne peered critically at Lou's short hair and plain clothes, wondering just what sort of women lived out west. She had never traveled further than Richmond herself, and could not understand why anyone would leave Virginia in the first place.

She grudgingly approved of Kid's determination to defend his home soil when the need arose, like a good Southern gentleman. But Corinne spent the evening bemoaning the fate of her poor sister, Ann, who had married a drunkard and raised an outlaw for a son. Kid ignored her comments about Jed and his mother the best he could, but Lou could tell he was grateful when Rob suggested they step out onto the front porch to discuss some important issues.

Lou watched apprehensively as Kid left the room, knowing they would be speaking of the war and when they would leave to enlist. No matter how hard she tried to banish it from her mind, the thought that he would soon be leaving filled her with a painful, gut-wrenching fear. She felt dispossessed — abandoned amongst people and places she did not know. Lou thought of their family back in Rock Creek and wished they were all together now. She wanted to forget Virginia and the war and return to simpler times when they just delivered mail and had the odd adventure along the way.

Isobel noticed the miserable look on Lou's face and felt sorry for her. Corinne had begun badgering her for information on 'her people', so Isobel quickly stepped in and asked Lou to help clear the table. Lou complied, and smiled gratefully at her behind the old woman's back. Isobel led her out to the back porch of the small house where she had set up a wash basin.

"I like to do the dishes out here at night. Ma tends to get a little ornery after dinner," Isobel said kindly, pumping cold water into the basin. "Besides, the way I see it, we have to stick together. I've had to live with many a year now so I know what it's like when she turns that razor tongue of hers on you."

Lou tried to smile, but she was filled with sadness. The night was so beautiful, the sky filled with millions of stars, and yet she couldn't bring herself to enjoy them.

"I know it's hard for you, Louise. But I'm glad you're here," said Isobel, putting aside the dishes. Lou was fighting back tears.

"Everythin's happened so fast," she explained quietly. "A few weeks ago I was with my friends in Rock Creek — they were the only family I'd known in a long time. But now, everythin's changed. I don't know what's goin' to happen."

"I know." Isobel stood beside her, staring out into the darkness. The noise of the children and Corinne's commanding voice drained away into the background. "I've cursed this war since secession was first mentioned, but there's no stopping it now. And try as I might, I can't get Rob to see that he's needed here by his family more than he ever will by the Confederacy. But war does strange things to men, especially Southern men. It's their honor that's at stake."

"I don't want Kid to fight," Lou said in a low voice.

"Then why did you come with him?"

"Because I know he has to."

Isobel smiled, a grim expression on her face. "Then we share a bitter burden, Louise. But I'm glad you're here so we can. I hope you'll stay with us when Rob and Kid leave."

Lou felt sudden gratitude for the older woman. Even though they known each other only a few hours, Isobel managed to make her feel not entirely alone in her new surroundings. Despite Corinne and her interfering ways, Louise knew she was lucky to have a new friend in Isobel. She would not be able to cope on her own with Kid away fighting. They would be able to support each other as their husbands defended their home together.

"Thank you, Isobel, I'd like that," Lou replied, swallowing the painful lump in her throat.

Isobel smiled with more warmth, and Lou realized just how grateful Isobel was to have a companion closer to her own age. Life must be lonely for her with only her bickering mother-in-law and young daughter for female company. But Isobel said no more and returned her attention to the supper dishes.

"Let's get these done, then, before Ma tears shreds out of the children."

Lou smiled and joined her at the basin.

Chapter Four

The winds of war blew harder as the days went by. Both sides had reached breaking point and something had to give. The day the Confederacy opened fire on Fort Sumter, Kid had taken Lou to see some of his old childhood haunts. She cherished the days they spent together, and tried to be alone with him as much as she possibly could without offending their hosts. Isobel understood her actions, and never made her feel ungrateful.

Kid shared with her secrets of his past he never had before — the difficult times he spent as a child supporting his mother and running their farm. He didn't like to speak of her death, but as they sat together by a small creek than ran through the plot of land that they had once owned, Kid revealed the painful truth behind her passing. Lou did not interrupt as he spoke, she simply held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. Kid had done the same for her when she had shared her own shameful past with him, after the death of Charlotte and Wicks. Lou knew he just needed to say the words and have her listen.

The day passed too quickly for Lou's liking. Each day seemed to slip by faster as the outbreak of fighting approached. The sun was beginning to fall when Kid suggested they had better turn back.

"No, let's stay here," Lou urged suddenly. Kid's eyes twinkled in the dull light, staring lovingly at her. Louise smiled enticingly and stepped closer to him. "Please, just for tonight."

"What about Rob and Isobel?" Kid said, but there was no argument in his tone. "And Aunt Corinne?"

"Isobel will understand that we need to spend some time alone. And as for Aunt Corinne, she can go ahead and lecture me for a week. But it will be worth it."

Kid smiled at her and stroked her cheek. He could not reveal to Lou just how difficult it would be for him to leave her. Kid was sure of his convictions when it came to fighting for the South, but the thought of leaving her was unimaginable.

"I'll make a fire," he stated simply. "I hope you don't mind sleepin' rough."

Lou stepped away to retrieve a blanket from her saddle roll. She glanced over her shoulder at him, a mischievous smile tugging at her mouth. "Who said anythin' about sleepin'?"

Kid grinned at her. His heart swelled with love for his wife and he wondered again how he could possibly bring himself to be parted from her. It was probably only a matter of days before he would have to. Kid suppressed the chilling thought and began collecting a few pieces of wood. At least they had this moment.

* * *

They did not return to the farm until well into the next afternoon. Lou dawdled as much as she could, pretending to enjoy the beautiful scenery too much to rush back. But the landscape was the last thing on her mind as she and Kid rambled over familiar farmlands. They were lost in their own world, too concerned with each other to contemplate the surroundings.

Eventually though, they had to return. Lou insisted on walking the horses the last couple of miles to prolong their journey further. When they rounded the bend leading to the Owens property, they saw many horses grazing in the yard, their male owners in consultation on Robert and Isobel's porch. Lou wanted to turn back immediately to avoid them — she knew in her heart that their gathering was an ominous sign. But Kid was already frowning at the spectacle, trying to hear what was being said. As they approached the house, Rob poked his head out of the small crowd and called his name.

"About time you got back. Have you heard the news? Fort Sumter's been attacked — this is it!"

Lou felt her heart skip a beat. The men on the porch were braying with delight at the news… their moment of glory had finally arrived. Kid didn't say a word beside her, but as she reached for his arm for comfort he stepped forward and was drawn into the crowd. Lou clutched her horse's bridle instead as her chest heaved painfully. The men were planning when and where they would enlist to give the Yankees a licking they would never forget. She desperately hoped Kid would turn around and look at her, to see her distress. But he did not look back once. Rob slapped an arm around his shoulder and cheered triumphantly along with the others.

* * *

Less than a week later, Virginia seceded from the Union. Neighboring farmers gathered as the news was brought from Williamsburg, and the men made immediate plans to leave for Richmond. Isobel had refused to listen to the announcement, she merely sat inside and savaging thrust knitting needles together in an attempt to make Rob a warm pair of socks. Corinne had branded her a traitor due to Isobel's hatred of the war, but even the old woman's constant badgering could not convince her to take part in the secession euphoria. Lou understood, however, and now sat by Isobel's side, listening to the excited crowd outside.

"They're leavin' in the mornin'," Lou stated dully. She felt numb, as if none of it was really happening.

Isobel did not reply and continued to click the needles together furiously. She had made her position on the war perfectly clear to her husband, but her arguments failed to move him. Lou still wished she would say something more to try and prevent them from going. In the last week Isobel had refrained from mentioning the war at all, much to Lou's consternation. It was her belief that if anyone could persuade them not to go, it was Isobel. Rob did everything else she said, why couldn't she just refuse to let him go?

Lou rose and stood at the window, staring bitterly at her reflection in the pane. With the darkened room behind her, her face glowed luminously in the fading light of the afternoon. Her eyes were large and shining, her hair pulled back from her pale face. The dress she wore was green, but in the window it appeared to be much darker. With a start, Lou saw a vision of herself dressed entirely in mourning black, her face tight with desolation.

The premonition, if that's what it was, shook her to her very soul. She pulled away from the glass in fright and ran to her bedroom. She curled up on the bed, trying to keep the dreaded image from stealing into her mind.

She stood over a grave, dressed in a flowing black dress… in her hand a small bunch of mayflowers. She opened her fingers slowly and let them drop in to the open grave, tears streaming down her face.

Lou pulled a pillow over her head and cried bitterly as darkness fell.

* * *

Chapter Five

Several hours later when the neighbors had dispersed so families could spend a last night together, Kid quietly opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. The room was dark, lit only by the pale moonlight from the open window. He could see her lying on the bed facing the wall, unmoving and silent. Kid set his lamp on the dresser slowly, trying to put off the inevitable confrontation as long as he possibly could.

The men had decided to leave for Richmond first thing in the morning to enlist in the Confederate army. To delay might mean missing out on the opportunity to defend their home and their honor, with predictions of the war being over in a matter of weeks. Kid would have liked to have stayed longer with Lou, but his leave-taking would not be any easier a few weeks from now. He was of the opinion that the sooner he left, the sooner he could come home to her, and they could begin their life together anew. He was now dreading the next few hours they would have to endure before he left in the morning.

Expecting a bitter argument or at least a flood of tears, he sat down beside her on the bed and kissed her shoulder. Lou had heard him enter the room but she made no move to acknowledge his presence immediately. She composed herself carefully before she pulled herself to a sitting position. No words passed between them as they stared at each other in the dim yellow light. There was nothing she could say now to persuade him to stay, and nothing he could say that would alleviate the sadness in her breast.

Instead Lou kissed him — the same gentle, tentative kiss they had shared on their first night together. She did not want to think about the war or his imminent departure, only to recapture those precious moments they shared together when they first declared their love for each other. They had been through so much since then and their love had grown only stronger. Lou wanted Kid to know how much she loved him, even if it was the last time she would be able to tell him and to show him how she truly felt. She wanted their last night together to be just like their first.

* * *

The horses were saddled at dawn, provisions packed and brief farewells made. Rob did not want to wake the children but Corinne insisted on seeing them off, standing proudly on the porch wrapped in a thick shawl over her nightgown. Isobel and Rob murmured a few words to each other out of her earshot, but then shared only a perfunctory kiss before Rob quickly mounted. Isobel did not even wait to see them leave, she had already disappeared inside the house.

Across the yard, Kid stood with Lou in the cool morning air. The birds had not even begun to sing, the dim light uninviting. They had said little to each other all night, and the words were still difficult to come by. Lou couldn't bring herself to say goodbye. There was such finality to the word which frightened her. Instead she entwined her fingers in Kid's and cleared her throat.

"You've always kept your promises to me," she said with great control. "And I need you to make another promise to me now. After this I'll never ask to swear to anythin' else ever again. But this is important… Promise me you'll come home safely. I don't care how you do it, but I can't let you leave until you promise me you'll be back."

Kid tried to swallow the painful lump in his throat. Lou's clear eyes bore into his intently, with a fervent, heart-breaking stare. Her words echoed through his mind as he contemplated the impossibility of her request. Such a promise was beyond his control, and yet she needed to hear it and believe it before she would part with him. As if it were as simple as making a promise…

Kid frowned slightly, the anguish showing on his face. But Lou still waited for an answer.

"Promise me," she pleaded in a whisper, her eyes growing moist.

Kid nodded slightly and tightened his fingers around her own. "I promise, Lou."

She sighed with relief at the words and leant in to hug him. With her head tucked under his chin, Lou listened to his heartbeat for a long moment. She committed to memory every detail of his embrace — his strong arms around her, the rhythmical pounding of his chest, the earthy smell of his jacket, the coarse material of his shirt against her cheek. Then, before he could pull away from her, she broke the embrace.

Kid opened his mouth to say goodbye but she hastily put a shaking finger to his lips. She could not bear to hear the word spoken. Kid understood without explanation and he kissed her deeply instead. He felt tears prick his eyes but he used all his willpower to prevent them from falling. Breathing heavily, he stepped back from her and pulled himself into the saddle. Rob was waiting for him now, though patiently. Kid took a long last look at Lou before he kicked Katy sharply and rode swiftly out of the yard. Rob had to turn his horse quickly to catch up with him after the abrupt departure.

Lou stood alone in the yard, shivering uncontrollably. She watched them travel quickly down the road until they were swallowed up in the early morning fog. Kid did not look back.

* * *

Chapter Six

The first few weeks of the war were almost a gay affair. The Confederacy celebrated its victory at Fort Sumter and saw an easy campaign ahead. Louise and Isobel received news of the gathering army along with the other women of surrounding farms, and they tried to keep track of their loved ones throughout the bustling preparations for the fighting.

Rob had opted to volunteer in the infantry, while Kid had taken a position in the cavalry. His experience with the Pony Express saw him in good stead and his captain had already selected him as a scout. His outfit was kept busy making patrols of northern Virginia, scouting out the landscape before any battles commenced.

Louise heard of these early days of the war through letters from Kid which arrived regularly. He had promised faithfully to write before he left, and duly filled her in on the day to day life in camp, the patrols they made, the countryside he saw. Kid always had some humorous anecdote to relate to her — something one of the privates had said or done, or about the loyal Virginians who cheered them on each day. Just the sight of the cavalry in their brand new gray uniforms inspired such confidence in them. Kid was immensely proud of his troop, and he shared these feelings with her in each of his missives.

Isobel heard from Robert too, albeit via a comrade in his troop. Rob had received little schooling and his writing was only passable, but Isobel read his letters out loud to the children with great pride. Louise couldn't understand her change of heart — Isobel had always been set against the war, but now she acted like a good Confederate wife, honoring her husband's brave and glorious defense of The Cause. Lou suspected it may have been an act for the children's sake, but as the weeks passed she could see that Isobel really was immensely proud of Rob and all the Rebel soldiers. The world was buzzing with excitement over the whole affair and she was not immune to the grandeur of the Southern fight.

Lou was less open with her letters from Kid, unable to share them with anyone else. Her heart pounded every time the mail arrived and she had to stop herself from tearing open the envelope immediately. She would wait and hear Rob's letter first, if there was one, carefully secreting her own letter in her pocket. It wasn't until she was alone that she would open it so she could savor each and every word.

Apart from telling her about life in the cavalry, Kid would close each letter telling her how much he loved her, and how he couldn't wait for the day when they would be together again. The words made her heart ache, but there was also joy in the realization that Kid missed her as much she longed for him. With any luck they would not be apart for long.

The early skirmishes of the war were small affairs — each side testing its forces and strength. Lou and Isobel made a point of traveling to Williamsburg each day for news, but there were no alarming reports of the armies being engaged. Weeks dragged into months and still neither Kid nor Rob had seen any real fighting. The women in their lives prayed this might continue.

Then, in the middle of summer, the Union and the Confederacy soldiers finally met head on in northern Virginia, in Kid's own home town of Manassas. Reports were sketchy at first, and many women waited anxiously for days to hear of the outcome and the fate of their husbands, fathers, sons and brothers. It was the first major fight of the war, and many believed it would set a telling scene for the future.

When Isobel returned breathlessly to the farm a few days later and announced triumphantly that the Federals had high-tailed it back to Washington, the neighborhood celebrations lasted for days. The Confederate army had dug in and rebuked the invasion of Union troops on their sacred Virginia soil, and watched as the blue-coats ran all the way back to their capital.

The war was won. The farming families firmly believed that now the Federals had tasted defeat at the hands of their Southern brothers, peace was now at hand. Isobel and Corinne — firm allies now, united by Southern pride — speculated it would be only a matter of weeks before the boys could come home. Louise smiled and laughed along with them, but did not share in their certainty, even though she desperately wanted to. She would not let herself succumb to the temptation until Kid was home safe in her arms.

Isobel declared they would be celebrating that night with the other neighbors, and she was even going to allow the children to stay up so they could be witness to the great Confederate victory. She was making excited plans with Corinne for a picnic supper when she remembered the letter she had picked up in Williamsburg.

"Oh, Louise," she said absently, digging into her skirt pocket. "I almost forgot, this was waiting for you in town."

Lou accepted the letter as casually as she could but she already recognized Kid's handwriting on the front. She thanked Isobel quietly and tried to steal away to her room.

"And where do you think you're going, missy?" Corinne's voice grated sharply. "You're expected to help at the celebrations tonight."

"Leave her alone, Ma. Let Louise read her letter," Isobel answered instead. At one time she would have let Corinne get away with her bullying, but Isobel used their new, uneasy friendship to set the old woman in her place when it was necessary.

Corinne humphed in her chair, annoyed at the audacity in the young, but she said nothing further. Lou took the opportunity to leave the room before she changed her mind.

* * *

Safely tucked up in the rocking chair next to her bedroom window, Lou carefully opened the letter. She smiled at Kid's familiar penmanship and settled back to read his news.

July 20th, Manassas.

My dear Lou,

I'm writing you this letter from home, my true home. We are camped on the very land I was born on just outside Manassas. It is hard to believe that this will be the place we will first meet the enemy. All indications are this will be tomorrow or the next day, for their Army is camped just across Bull Run Creek. Weaver and I scouted out their position tonight. Captain Phillips chose me for this Honor because I am a Manassas boy. The Union army is large, but we are expecting reinforcements any hour now.

The feeling in camp is high, and the boys are looking forward to the fight. You must not worry about us, Lou. We will make a good stand. The South will be proud of us as we defend her. I hope you will be proud of me.

I may not be able to write for a while. But do not suppose I am not thinking of you. You are in my thoughts every minute of the day, in camp and on patrol. I think about the night we spent under the stars a few months ago and I cannot wait to hold you again. The feeling is so strong sometimes I have to stop myself from turning South and riding home to you. Your picture and letters are in the pocket above my heart always, and your face is in my dreams at night.

The boys are bedding down now. I must take this letter into Town tonight in case we move out at first light. There is more I wanted to say, but I lack the words to describe the feeling in my heart. I feel so close to you at this moment and yet you are far away.

Lou, I think about the promise I made to you when we parted and I pray each day that I am able to keep it. You will be angry at me if I say it, but if this coming fight decides my Fate, never forget how much I love you. I will always love you, even in death. And I will always be with you, no matter what happens. Remember this.

Kid.

Lou brushed the tears from her cheeks and folded the letter carefully. She could hear the cheerful voices in the kitchen and yet she felt so distant from the rest of the household. Kid had never mentioned death before in any of his letters, nor of the promise she had him make. It was almost an unspoken rule between them that they not mention the possibility of him being killed. And yet he had felt the need to write this to her before the Manassas fight. Lou thought of her premonition and shuddered. Could it be that Kid had a premonition of his own?

Unable to even consider the thought, she tucked the letter into her dress and decided to rejoin the others. She needed to be around other people in order to silence the black thoughts in her mind.

* * *

Hundreds of people gathered in Williamsburg to celebrate that evening. Bonfires had been lit despite the warm evening, and the air was filled with the smell of roast suckling pig and various other delicacies the women had prepared. Musicians played, people danced and others listened as old men regaled them with war stories from the Mexican campaigns. The town's militia also joined in the feast, some lamenting the fact they had missed the opportunity to shoot a Yankee. With peace expected to be proposed by Lincoln after the North's embarrassing defeat, they had been denied their chance to fight.

Lou did her best to join in with the others as they laughed and joked. But in the back of her mind she pictured Kid on the battlefield, dying along with the thousands of men who had perished in the first major battle of the war. Again she pictured herself a widow in black standing over his open grave, the drooping mayflowers in her hand. Lou felt a chill despite the summer heat and wished they could return home. It was not something she could dare mention to Isobel or Corinne though, as they proudly served up their rabbit stew to friends and neighbors. They were oblivious to her unease and she had never felt more alone.

Several hours later as the dancing and singing began in earnest, Lou decided to return to the farm alone. She could no longer stomach the jubilant crowd and their idle chatter. She felt ill from worry, a great sense of foreboding overshadowed her attempts to dismiss her fears. She nudged Isobel's elbow to try and attract her attention as she and Corinne gossiped with neighbors. It was then that she noticed the militia courier ride swiftly towards the crowd, seeking out his commanding officer. He was a boy really, no more than sixteen, but he bore himself with great pride as he delivered an official looking message the captain.

A small group of militia crowded around their leader, deep in conversation. Lou watched carefully as the captain discussed matters intently with his men. Then she felt a cold hand grip her heart as the man raised his eyes and looked right at her through the crowd. One of the others nodded and the captain began walking grimly towards her, the letter in hand.

Louise found she couldn't move. She could only wait as the uniformed soldier made his way towards her through the revellers. His actions went unnoticed by the rest of the crowd. It was if Lou was the only one who could see him. He approached her slowly but with purpose, it seemed as if he never took his eyes off her. Lou put a hand to her throat but it did not alleviate the difficulty she was having swallowing. She wanted to run away before the captain came near her, but her legs refused to budge.

Seconds seemed to drag into minutes. But then he was before them, standing a polite distance away as Isobel and her friends finished their conversation and the latter moved away. The captain removed his hat, his face solemn and unreadable. He drew up before the three women and bowed politely. Isobel smiled to greet him, but Lou's face remained stony. She knew what was coming. She had foreseen it all.

"Mrs. Owens?" the captain inquired. "Mrs. Robert Owens?"

"I'm Mrs. Owens." Isobel frowned at the grave way in which he spoke.

"This letter is for you, ma'am." He held out the folded paper regretfully.

Isobel did not immediately comprehend what was happening.

"It is from your husband's commanding officer," he continued, bowing his head again.

"A letter for me?" she echoed softly, but she did not take it from him.

The captain shifted uncomfortably. He felt foolish standing there with his arm outstretched. The two women either side of Mrs. Owens were staring hard at him. Then the younger of the two reached forward and removed the paper, thereby releasing him.

"My sincere apologies, ma'am," he mumbled into his clipped beard before walking quickly away.

Lou looked at the letter in her hand — addressed to Isobel, not her. She was dizzy, and the arm she reached out to Isobel with was as much to steady herself as to comfort her friend.

Realization about the letter's contents was slowly dawning on Isobel, but she couldn't bring herself to take it from Lou. People around them began to stare, waiting to see what she would do. Her eyes were vacant so she didn't see them, but Corinne refused to be a subject for gossip. She briskly took Isobel by the other arm and began pushing her through the crowd to their wagon.

Lou was left to round up the children, which she did without speaking. When they were all loaded into the wagon, Lou went to pick up the reins and found the letter still in her hand. Without a word, Isobel took it gently from her and sat rigidly on the buckboard as they drove home in silence. The message remained unopened and unread.

* * *

July 27th, 1861

Dear Kid,

I can only pray that this letter finds you safe. We have had no word of casualties so I have no way of knowing if you were unharmed at Manassas. I cannot think of anything else.

I must tell you some bad news. Isobel received word tonight from Rob's commanding officer. He was killed early on the first day of the fight. I can't leave Isobel for long so I must be brief. She has been crying all night and I must look after the children and try to comfort her. I do not know what I can say to her. All I can think about is you out there still fighting - I don't even know where you are. When the letter came I was sure that it was meant for me. Then when the captain handed it to Isobel I felt only blessed relief. God forgive me but I was so happy for myself at that instant that I can barely look at her now.

It is getting light now and I must tend to Isobel. I fear she will be a long time recovering from this loss. I pray I shall never experience it myself. Come home soon as you promised, Kid. You must keep your promise.

Your loving wife,

Lou.

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