Chapter One

Lou awoke sometime in the middle of the night. She wasn't sure what it was that awoke her at first, but as she heard the light snore she smiled. She turned her head towards the figure lying next to her, his mouth agape. He snored again and stirred. She giggled silently as he settled himself on his side, facing her.

Now she was able to look more intently at him. He was a handsome man. His hair maybe longer then she usually liked, his nose was beautifully sculptured and his lips full. He was a great kisser. He was also great in bed.

They had amazing sex - he was her best friend, with benefits, as they called each other. Though she was perfectly clear with him that was all she wanted, she suspected sometimes that he might want to move to the next level. But for almost three years now they had kept their torrid affair strictly physical, and strictly under wraps. He was her partner at the agency, for one thing. For another, even though she cared about him, liked him, trusted him, and was incredibly attracted to him, she felt she could never love him quite as much as she knew he deserved.

Jimmy opened his eyes, feeling her gaze on him. "What time is it?" he asked sleepily.

Lou smiled. "Sometime in the middle of the night. Did I wake you?"

Jimmy smiled at her. "That's ok." He leaned over and looked into her eyes. "I can think of something to help me back to sleep."

Lou giggled and feigned trying to escape. She surrendered as his lips caught hers in a hungry kiss.

Lou walked in to her kitchen, tucking a white Oxford shirt into her neatly pressed dark slacks. She adjusted her holster, and clipped on the phone and badge hurriedly, before slipping a suit jacket on.

"Morning, Lou," Theresa greeted as she joined her sister by the kitchen counter.

"Hey, sweetie. Want some coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks. I wasn't expecting you to be up this early," the younger woman teased.

"What? Why?" Lou asked before she turned and saw the mischief in her sister's eyes.

"You know, you should try and be more quiet, Lou."

Lou was about to retort when Jimmy walked into the kitchen, carrying a small boy, of about three and a half years old, on his back. The boy giggled as Lou picked him and sat him in his chair.

Jimmy kissed Lou cheek before he greeted Theresa good morning.

"Want some coffee, Jimmy?" Lou asked from the counter as the man took his seat at the table.

"Yes, thanks. I really need something to keep me awake today," Jimmy answered.

"Hard night, Jimmy?" Theresa asked innocently.

Jimmy looked at Lou, embarrassed.

"Theresa, that's enough," Lou admonished with a smile. "Don't you have class this morning, or something?"

"Yes, ma'am," the young woman answered and took her cup to the sink. "Are you coming home tonight?" Teresa asked.

"I don't know yet," Lou answered. "I'll let you know as soon as I know anything. Keep your cell on, okay?" Lou smiled at her eighteen-year old sister. She'd taken Theresa in when their mother died just before Zach was born; but now the responsible young woman was a wonderful help to her. Their brother Jeremiah, now 21, had enlisted in the Army when their mother died, and was stationed in Iraq now.

Theresa nodded before heading out, grabbing her backpack by the door.

"She heard us last night," Lou whispered to Jimmy.

Jimmy almost choked on his coffee, making Lou giggle. "She told you that?"

Lou nodded.

"God, next time you're coming to my place."

"You know I can't, Jimmy," Lou turned serious. "The mornings I'm available, I want to be here with Zach."

Jimmy nodded and rose to take his cup to the sink. He kissed the top of her head. "We'd better get going, Lou. Or Teaspoon will have a fit."

Lou wiped her son's chin from the eggs and picked him up. "Let's get you ready."

"Mommy, can Uncle Jimmy help me dress?" Zach asked.

"Jimmy, do you mind?" Lou asked.

"Not at all," Jimmy answered.

They were all ready in half an hour. Jimmy and Lou dropped Zach at daycare and continued to their headquarters. They entered the building and took the elevator to the basement. The guard smiled at them and let them in the secured area.

Lou grimaced as she saw everyone else was already there. She didn't like coming in with Jimmy like that, making the guys suspicious about her relationship with Jimmy. She sighed in relief as so far nobody had noticed them coming in together. Buck was talking to Noah, while Ike was reading the paper.

"Nice of you two to show up," Cody snickered at them as he came from the kitchen area, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a donut in the other. "Teaspoon is really anxious."

"Why? What's going on?" Jimmy asked. "Are they moving the operation sooner?"

Cody shrugged. "Didn't say anything. Just said to let him know as soon as you walk in."

Lou took a seat behind her desk, watching her friends with a smile. These five men were her friends and colleagues for the past three years, ever since she came to DC. Though she usually partnered with Jimmy, she trusted each and every one of them with her life.

She was so lost in thought she didn't even notice Teaspoon walking in, followed by a younger man.

"Louise, may I have your attention as well, please," Teaspoon addressed her.

"Sorry," Lou smiled, but her smile froze when she noticed the man standing next to Teaspoon. He also recognized her, and now they were both staring, oblivious to what Teaspoon was saying.

"Well, officers," Teaspoon started, "I was offered a position as a site director and I accepted. Officer Michael Kidd is replacing me on the job, effective immediately. I'm still going to be here, so if either of you needs my advice, don't hesitate. It's been a pleasure working with each and every one of you, and I'm going to miss it, though I'll probably suffer from less headaches."

"So, Officer Kidd, the stage is all yours," Teaspoon addressed the younger man.

At hearing his name, the young agent cleared his throat and looked around the room. "As Officer Hunter said, my name's Michael Kidd," Officer Kidd said with a warm smile.

Jimmy darted a look at Lou. She was shifting uncomfortably in her seat, glaring at the new commanding officer. He saw the way she and that Kidd guy stared at each other earlier. Something wasn't right, and he couldn't wait to get her alone and ask her about it.

"Well, I'll tell you about myself, then would like to hear some about you," Kidd continued.

"Didn't you get our files?" Noah asked.

Kidd nodded. "I got your files, but since everything was on such short notice and I had to tie up a few loose ends back in LA before coming here, I didn't get the time to go over them. Anyway, maybe it's for the best - I'd just as soon get to my own conclusions about everything and not be prejudiced by other's opinions."

He smiled at the nods of appreciation from his new officers. All but one.

"So, I was born in Manassas, Virginia. Moved to LA after I graduated and joined the agency..."

"Lou, psst," Jimmy whispered until he got her attention. "Did you know him in LA?"

Lou looked at Jimmy, contemplating what to say, when she heard Teaspoon speaking again.

"Well, I'll let you get to know one another. I'll be in my new office upstairs if you need me," Teaspoon shook Kidd's hand. "They can be bullheaded at times, but they're good officers."

Kidd smiled and turned his attention back to the group. Cody was the first to volunteer to introduce himself.

Lou jumped from her feet and ran out of the room after Teaspoon.

"Teaspoon, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure, Lou, what's up?"

"Uh... can we go to your office?" Lou asked, a little uncomfortable.

Teaspoon nodded as he waited for her to enter the elevator.

"What is it, Louise?" the older man asked as he closed the door to his office.

"Is it definite?"

"Is what definite?"

"You... the promotion... him..."

Teaspoon looked at her questioningly. "Is there something you want to tell me, Lou?"

Lou shook her head. "It's just that we worked really hard on this operation, he knows nothing about it..."

"Lou, I'll be there with you until you go out, and I already started going over it with him. Officer Kidd is a skilled officer. We're lucky to have him here with us. The site at New York really put up a fight for him, but he said he preferred DC."

Lou looked down, fidgeting with her fingers. Teaspoon smiled at her, obviously in a deep internal struggle, but his smile disappeared when she lifted her head and met his eyes.

"I want to transfer to a different site," she blurted.

Teaspoon registered what she was saying for a moment. "Why?"

Lou looked away. "I know him, Teaspoon. I don't think I'll be able to work with him."

Teaspoon nodded in understanding. He knew Louise McCloud too well to try and dissuade her, especially when she had that determination in her eyes. "You want to tell me more?"

Lou shook her head. "I don't care where to, just that it will be as quick as possible."

"It still might take a few weeks, Louise."

"I know."

"I need to know you'll be able to work with him on this next operation, Lou, or I'm taking you off it."

"No, Teaspoon. We worked too hard on it and I have an important part in it. I promise I won't be a problem."

Teaspoon nodded and rose, opening the door for her. "I'll make the request for you and let you know when I have any news."

"Thanks, Teaspoon," Lou said, and went back to join her team.

She went straight to her working space and hurriedly snatched Zach's photos from the wall and hid them, as well as the framed photo she kept on her desk.

"Where did you go?" Jimmy asked, coming to stand next to her. "What are you doing?" he asked as he noticed her hiding her personal items.

"I went to talk to Teaspoon. I need to talk to you, Jimmy."

"What is it?" Jimmy asked, concern clear in his voice. He put his hands on her arms, rubbing them affectionately. "And what's with the hate glares? Do you know him?"

"Officer McCloud," Lou turned her head towards the man calling her name. "May I see you in my office?"

Jimmy dropped his hands from her and watched as her face grew red with hate and anger. He watched surprised he she stormed into Kidd's office, and jumped at the sound of the door slamming shut. All eyes turned to him for explanation, but he just shrugged, bewildered as the rest of them.

"What are you doing here?" Lou hissed.

"Well, it's so nice to see you again, Lou. But I guess it's only temporary since you're running off again." Kidd could not help himself and the last part of his sentence came out louder than he planned.

"What are you doing here, Michael?" Lou asked again, her arms folded over her chest protectively.

"My job," Kidd answered.

"Yeah, I know how much you enjoy doing your job..." Lou muttered.

"What was that?" Kidd asked, becoming even angrier.

"Nothing, sir," Lou saluted mockingly. "Well, continue with your job. I won't be in your way much longer."

"Well, running away is what you do best. I'm surprised to see you're still here after, what, an hour that I'm here."

Lou was about to retort when the phone rang and Kidd answered it. She opened the door and left, slamming it shut behind her.

Lou felt five pairs of eyes on her.

"What was that?" Cody was the first to react.

"Nothing," Lou muttered as she walked to the kitchen area, followed by Jimmy.

"What was that, Lou?" Jimmy asked, the concern clear in his voice. "What was he saying about you running off?"

Jimmy was surprised as Lou suddenly turned and buried her face in his chest. He put his arms around her protectively. "What is it, Lou? You're scaring me."

"I need to talk to you," she said into his chest. "Can we go out for awhile?"

"Sure. Wait for me by the guard. I'll tell Noah we're out and to call if they need us."

Lou nodded and watched him leave. She bit back the threatening tears and went outside.

Jimmy met her at the guard a couple of minutes later. They walked out of the building in silence. Lou looked around her, looking for distractions. She could not believe the day that started so playfully was becoming one of the hardest of her life. She didn't really want to talk about it, but she knew Jimmy deserved to know the truth now, especially that she planned on transferring elsewhere.

"Let's sit over there," she motioned for a bench in a little park, minutes away from their office.

Jimmy sat next to her and took her hand in his for encouragement. "You got me worried there, Lou," he smiled, more for his own benefit than hers.

"Well, you figured out already that I know Michael from before," Lou started. "We were stationed together in LA and we were involved..."

"Like us?"

"We were engaged."

"Oh," Jimmy mumbled.

"We met on the same team, but after we got serious we were assigned to different units, with different supervisors. He was promoted to be the second in command in his unit, since his supervisor felt he needed someone to back him up. His unit was different from mine. He went on long missions, weeks or even months at a time..."

"Is that why you broke up?" Jimmy asked.

Lou didn't answer. She remained silent for a moment before the continued. "I put in a request for transfer."

"Back then?"

Lou shook her head no. "I spoke with Teaspoon before. I guess he called Michael right afterwards, because you saw how he called me to his office right when I came back."

"You're leaving?" Jimmy couldn't hide his disappointment as Lou nodded. "Why?"

"There's something he doesn't know about, Jimmy. And I can't let him find out. Ever."

"What is it?"

"On our first undercover mission together, Michael's code name was Zachary."

Jimmy's mouth fell open as realization set in. "He doesn't know?"

Lou shook her head, unable to talk through the tears that choked her.

"Oh, Lou, how could you keep that from him?"

"I didn't get a chance to tell him I was pregnant before I left."

"Why did you leave?" Jimmy questioned again.

Lou remained silent for a moment. She knew if she told Jimmy the truth, it would diminish Michael in his eyes... maybe make it harder for Michael to lead the team. It was between her and Michael and it was best to skip the details. "It doesn't matter now, Jimmy. It was a long time ago. I just wanted to let you know that I asked for a transfer and Teaspoon has forwarded the request for me. I just hope that he won't find out about Zach until then. Please promise me you won't say anything."

"Don't worry, Lou," Jimmy promised as he put his arm around her shoulders and drew her to him. He kissed her head.

Lou lifted her eyes to meet his and smiled at him. "Thanks," Lou whispered before she kissed him back.

"But I'll miss you. Promise me you'll tell me where you're going, keep in touch at least?" As she nodded, whispering, "Of course," Jimmy pulled her onto his lap as they deepened the kiss.

"You know if you want me to call you, make sure your cells are on."

They both jumped at the sound of Noah's voice. Lou blushed and jumped to her feet, cursing herself for allowing herself to get caught with Jimmy like this.

"What's going on?" Jimmy asked as he too stood up.

"Kidd wants to go over the set up for next week."

Lou sighed heavily and started towards the office. Noah was about to follow, when Jimmy stopped him.

"What do you think of him?"

"Kidd?" Noah asked. At Jimmy's nod he continued. "I don't know. He seems to be a professional. You heard him talk about himself..."

"Actually I didn't," Jimmy answered, looking guiltily after the retreating woman.

Noah smiled knowingly. "Well, he has a lot of experience and he moved up pretty quickly. Hey, did Lou know him back when she was in LA?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Do you think we'll be ok with him just starting and us going on the mission next week?"

"He knows the case, Jimmy. And I trust Teaspoon's judgment," Noah answered.

"I guess you're right," Jimmy sighed.

Noah started toward the office again, but Jimmy stopped him again. "What is it now, Jimmy? We should really get going."

"Just... please don't say anything about... you know..." Jimmy said awkwardly.

Noah chuckled. "About you and Miss McCloud?"

Jimmy nodded, his face turning red.

Noah put a hand on his friend's shoulder. He tried his damnedest not to burst out laughing at his friend. Did they really believe they had anyone fooled? "Your secret's safe with me," he said in his most serious tone.

Kidd sat in his new office moodily looking out the window at nothing. He couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe she was here, not just in Washington, not just in the same office, but on his own damn team. He'd spent the last four years trying to forget her. He almost succeeded, too. He had moved on, best as he could... even managed to find love again. Not that it was the same. But Lou was my first love. Figured it was normal enough to always have a secret spot in my heart for her. But seeing her again. It's like... like the last four years never happened. I'm right back where I started.

He tried to flip through some paperwork, but his mind kept returning to Louise. She'd looked at him like they'd never even been friends, like she hated him. He passed a hand over his eyes. Maybe he should talk to her. Find out why, so he could put it to rest, move on for real. He couldn't believe the sweet, bright-eyed girl he'd loved so, could look at him with open hatred, like he was the one who did something wrong. She was the one who left without a word, without the decency of a goodbye, after all they'd shared.

He wanted to hate her back. He wanted to be able to forget her and act like she never hurt him. But... so many good memories. Even the sight of her in the squad room. He'd sat beside her every working day for a year, either in a squad room just like that, or in some van parked outside a surveillance site, or some other god-awful boring grunt work they'd had to do the year they were partners, both little more than rookies. They'd fought a lot at first, butted heads over approaches to cases, before earning a grudging respect for one another on the job.

Gradually, they'd gotten comfortable together, fortunately. All the hours of working together on low-level cases, it would have been unbearable if they hadn't gotten to like each other. Then, before he knew it, he found himself in love with her. Even now, he had to grin a little at the memory of sitting on a stakeout with her, desperately in love with her; and how hard he'd tried to hide it.

They'd been in the van for three hours, slumped down in their seats dejectedly. "Nothing is going to happen, he ain't moving," Kidd had moped, tapping the steering wheel. Lou had shrugged, stretched, and opened a large paper bag and started rummaging through it, emerging with a King-sized Snickers Bar.

"For pete's sake," Kid muttered, as she took out a plastic knife and started sawing the Snickers Bar in half lengthwise. "Not this again."

"What?" Lou asked, her eyebrows puckered as she carefully picked peanuts from the candy, dropping them into the bag.

"If you dismember one more Snickers in front of me, I'm going to snap," he muttered. "It's gross and ridiculous."

She flicked a peanut at him. "So don't look," she grinned.

"After a year of watching you do that, can I ask, why? Why do you buy Snickers bars if you don't like the peanuts?"

"If you must know, it's because I like Snickers, but just not the nuts. They're too crunchy, I don't like them."

He sighed, looking at her and shaking his head. "So why, pray tell, don't you just buy a candy bar that doesn't have nuts, and you don't have to pick at for ten minutes before you can eat it?"

"There isn't a Snickers bar without peanuts."

"Well, then buy a Milky Way, for chrissakes."

"That's not the same," she explained patiently, reassembling the halves of the Snickers bar and raising it to her mouth.

"How is it not the same? It's nougat, caramel, and milk chocolate. Just like a Snickers without the nuts," he said irritably. This stakeout was making him cranky. Not to mention the heat. The air conditioning was broken in this stupid van. Lou was comfortable enough, she had stripped down to a white tank top and shorts... and sitting in this close car with her dressed like that was getting him... frustrated.

"It's not the same, because the Milky Way has chocolate malt flavored nougat. The Snickers has peanut butter flavored nougat. Everyone knows that."

"That's common knowledge, you're saying?"

"Of course." She was polishing off the Snickers and rummaging again through the bag.

"Do you have anything to drink in there? It's about 90 degrees in this stupid van."

She looked at him, her own good humor starting to wear thin. "Quit your whining, will you?"

"I would if I could. But it ain't easy sitting in here with you and all your food in this heat. Do you have any seltzer?"

She ostentatiously shook up a can and handed it to him. "Sure, here, you big baby."

He took the can and deliberately pointed the top toward her. "Oh, thanks. Looks refreshing." He opened it, and it spurted all over her, soaking her hair and tank top.

He looked over at her as she sat calmly, seltzer dripping from her, but somehow maintaining her dignity. He had to fight the insane urge to lick her face clean, as she turned and looked at him.

"Very mature." She pulled a wad of napkins from the bag and wiped her face.

"Sorry, Lou," he chuckled, as she got out of her seat and went to the back of the van.

He had watched her in the rear view mirror as she stripped off the tank top. She was wearing a pale blue satin bra underneath, and he caught his breath as he watched her fumbling through a duffel bag for another shirt, pulling it over her head. She was so beautiful, he had thought. She clambered back into the front seat and he'd sat dumbly looking at her.

"What now?" she snapped, finally irritable as he was.

"Nothing," he'd said softly. 'Nothing except I love you,' he thought. 'And you don't think of me as anything but your partner and a friend.' His heart had ached a little bit then, wanting and wishing... and deciding that he would ask her out, never mind any regulations. He couldn't hide how he felt about her much longer, he knew...

Kid sighed. He had asked her out soon after that, and found out that, incredibly, she had been harboring strong feelings for him for a long time too. They had fallen madly in love, or so he'd thought.

He turned away from the window and got up to go home. He needed to forget all the old days, somehow. It was just as well that she was transferring, because he could never work with her for long without letting his feelings show, he knew that. But at the same time, the thought that she had come into his life again, only to vanish again, had brought all the old pain back up as strong as it had been four years ago. He sighed again and turned out the lights, heading home.

Chapter Two

The operation was in progress, with Kidd, Jimmy and Cody stationed in a van outside an expensive gentleman's club, monitoring several cameras and wires at once. Noah, Buck, and Ike were inside the club, posing as customers. And Lou was the center of the operation, with the hardest and most important role of all, one that had taken several weeks to set in place.

Teaspoon came up with the plan, for her to pose as an exotic dancer in this club, where Columbano Lamberti, a mafia kingpin, frequented regularly. Lamberti ordinarily wouldn't be of much interest to the agency, but he had branched out into selling arms to enemy states, and the agency was looking for a way to get close enough to plant a surveillance bug on him before a face-to-face meeting they believed was scheduled for later tonight. Lamberti surrounded himself with high security at all times, but the hope was that Lou could entice him to a private room and attach the device. To say the least, it would be tricky and somewhat dangerous for her.

Lou had been dismayed at first, and not at all because of the danger. She hadn't gone to college and through training as an agent, to end up in pasties and a g-string on some gangster's lap, she had blurted to Teaspoon indignantly. But Teaspoon had pointed out that the club was the only place where they could conceivably get to Lamberti.

"It's just a disguise, Louise, and I know you can pull it off, but if you aren't comfortable with it -" Teaspoon had started.

She had cut him off, sighing. "Fine. I'll learn how to pole dance, if the mission really needs it," she muttered, as the other members of the team snickered.

The job had required her to take lessons in stripping, then actually try out for a job in the club; and she had been working there as part of her cover for two weeks now. While she would rather have died than admit it, a small part of her was enjoying it; she spent most of her time in the agency uniform of plain suits, or in jeans or sweats when off duty. Prancing in front of strange men, decked out in hair extensions and stiletto heels, along with the enthusiastic attention she was getting from the "gentlemen", was oddly exciting. She came in the front entrance, pretending not to recognize her teammates stationed in the club as she hurried backstage to get ready.

Kidd, Cody and Jimmy listened in on her wire as she greeted Dieter, the makeup and costuming manager, backstage. "Hello, sweetheart," Dieter giggled. "And what are we going to be tonight?"

"I put myself in your hands, Dieter," Lou responded. "You're the expert."

"At least somebody appreciates me," Dieter said, sighing.

Lou lowered her voice. "I hear there's a high roller coming in tonight, Dieter. Mr. Lamberti. Do you know him?"

"Oh, yes, sweetheart. And you're right, he's a high roller all right. You looking to catch his eye?"

"Maybe. Does he have a favorite girl already?"

"The girl he's usually been picking isn't here anymore, honey. And you're just his type, nice and clean. How about this little gold number, nice and sparkly?"

"Thanks, Dieter," Lou said. "It looks perfect."

After Lou's hair and makeup were done and she was squeezed into her costume, she put on her earrings, which concealed a tiny transmitter and receiver. "Cody, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, Lou. Good luck," came the response from the van.

Lou stood behind the curtain to the stage, waiting for her musical cue; though she was brand new she had managed to do well enough to get the first number of the evening. Jimmy informed her over her wire that Lamberti had arrived, giving her his location right next to the catwalk. "Copy," she muttered, adjusting her costume, her heart racing excitedly as it had ever since her first performance.

In the van, the team watched idly as the music started, a blaring dance number. There was a camera trained on Lamberti, with a full view of the stage; but their jaws dropped as Louise ripped the curtains apart and strutted onto the stage wearing impossibly high heels and a low-cut gold spangled "dress" that barely covered her backside. She shimmied her way toward a pole stationed right in front of Lamberti, and Cody dropped his coffee on the floor with his mouth hanging open as Louise pulled apart the top of the dress and started working the pole to the music, her eyes trained seductively on Lamberti. Cody started coughing on his donut when Lou whirled up on the pole and hung upside down nearly in the gangster's face, spinning around by her leg.

Lamberti smiled at Lou and beckoned her to his table, holding up several hundred-dollar bills. She stepped slowly down the stairs and approached him and placed her hands on either side of his chair, leaning over him.

"Oh my God," muttered Cody, as Lamberti tucked the money in her g-string and leaned back for his lap dance.

Jimmy gave Cody a filthy look. "Watch it, Cody," he warned, irritated by Cody's drooling over Lou.

Kidd shot a look at Jimmy, surprised at his protective attitude; but Jimmy avoided his gaze.

For his part, Kidd uncomfortably watched Lou work, his hands crossed over his chest. He hadn't been thrilled with this plan of Teaspoon's, but had been reluctant to disrupt it, since it was already in progress when he came on. His heart ached painfully as he watched Louise bumping and grinding, nearly naked, for this criminal and traitor. He clenched his jaw when he saw Lamberti run a hand down Lou's leg, but she pulled back, smiling. "We can't let you touch us on the floor, Mr. Lamberti. Sorry, but you have to get a private room for anything... else," she whispered huskily, she started backing away, when Lamberti stood and grasped her wrist.

"I'll take a private dance, then," he said, tucking a number of additional bills in her g-string and pulling her, a little roughly, toward the stairs to a row of private rooms, each one wired with a camera in advance for the mission. He untied his silk tie as he walked, dragging her on tottering heels behind him.

"This guy is getting rough with her. Buck, Ike, Noah, get up toward the private rooms, in case she needs backup," Kidd snapped into the microphone.

Cody looked at Kidd in surprise, and rushed to Lou's defense. "Officer Kidd, Lou can handle this guy, believe me. And if he tries anything, I'm personally looking forward to seeing her kick his ass in that getup."

Jimmy's face twitched dangerously and Cody bit his lip, figuring he'd better shut up now.

Kidd frowned, nervously chewing his lip, as Lamberti pulled Lou into a private room. Cody switched the monitor to the private room, where Lamberti immediately grabbed the tiny woman and shoved her down under him on a couch.

"She's in trouble," Kidd blurted. "Officers, get in there and -"

But as he spoke, Lou hit the man, who was twice her size, across the neck with the back of her elbow, then used his own weight to fling him to the floor, planting her knee in his back. So fast it could barely be seen, she twisted his loosened tie around his neck, pulling just until he lost consciousness. Working quickly, she retrieved a miniaturized surveillance device that had been taped under the couch in the room, opened the back of his watch and planted the bug, then replaced it. She grabbed a robe that was hung on a rack by the door and put it on, before he emerged from the room, smiling up at Lamberti's henchmen waiting outside. "He's a little tired," she giggled, slipping past, and rushing down the stairs. She walked quickly toward the exit, where she met her teammates and got into the van.

As she reached the van, the surveillance camera planted in his watch showed Lamberti getting up, unsteadily, and muttering to his henchmen that he was okay... and they'd just as well get started to their meeting.

Cody nodded. "The wire she planted on him is working fine... mission accomplished."

When they were speeding away, Lou looked over at Jimmy, who seemed unusually flustered. "What?" she said.

"Nothing. You just missed your calling, that's all," Jimmy muttered, sounding abashed and looking away from her, blushing like a schoolboy.

"Yes, Lou. Very convincing," Buck said, admiringly. "I knew you were going to come out and dance, but... I'm blown away."

Noah chuckled and was about to say something appreciative as well, but a glance at Jimmy's set jaw made him think better of it.

"All right, that's enough," she said, exasperated. "It was just a disguise. It's still me, guys!" she admonished, as the team sat staring at her.

"You got lucky," Kidd muttered. "I don't know what kind of operations Teaspoon usually ran, but that's the last time you're using a subterfuge like that, while I'm your superior officer."

Lou turned a sour face to Kidd. "Is that so? You know, Officer Kidd, I heard you start to call the team in back there. I'll have you know I had the situation under control. I didn't appreciate your interference, you could have blown the whole operation."

Kidd flushed angrily. "You looked like you were in trouble to me, Lou."

"It's Officer McCloud to you," she snapped. "And I can handle myself, so save your patronizing attitude."

The others looked uneasily at each other, unsure what to make of Lou's fury.

"Okay, Officer McCloud. And while we're at it, you can save the insubordinate attitude, or next time you're on report, understand?"

They had reached headquarters, and Lou stood up and hurled the door to the van open. "Perfectly, sir," she sneered, storming from the van.

Jimmy cleared his throat. "Officer Kidd, I'm not tryin' to be... 'insubordinate', but it was a successful operation and she did a good job. I hope we can be free to speak our minds on this team without rank getting pulled," he said, his voice deadly calm.

Kidd looked Jimmy back, eye to eye. "I expect that everybody can have their say, and I'll consider it when I'm making decisions. But I've still got final say, and I'm still the head of this team and it's my responsibility."

Getting down from the van, he continued. "It was a good job, all of you, and especially her. I'll go tell her so, and we should go get a drink or something to celebrate," he added.

He caught up with Lou, emerging from the women's locker room, all traces of her stripper disguise removed. She looked like herself again in a straight skirt and white blouse, and she looked sulkily at him. "Officer," she said briefly, and started past him.

"Lou," he said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pulled rank, but you shouldn't disrespect me in front of the team either."

"Fair enough," she said, looking away. "Anything else?"

"We're going for a drink, to celebrate the good job. Since you did most of the work, I hope you're joining us. You were great, Lou."

She looked uncertainly at him. She didn't want to admit that she was tired and wanted to get home to her son, who should be getting to bed very soon. "Okay," she muttered. "I'll come along for a while."

An hour later, the team milled into their favorite club. This was their ritual - after a successful mission, they'd all go there, have a few drinks, loosen up, before heading back home.

"I have to go use the bathroom," Lou whispered to Jimmy as they looked for a table. "Will you order a glass of wine for me?"

"Sure," Jimmy answered as he watched her walking away.

They found a booth at the far end of the club. Ike, Buck and Kidd sat at one side of the table, while Noah, Cody and Jimmy on the other. A waitress came, looking appreciatively at the six handsome men at her table. "What would you like?" The men gave her their orders.

"This is a nice club," Kidd commented.

"Yeah, we like coming here after a well done operation," Buck answered.

"Where do you go after a not so well done operation?" Kidd asked with a smile.

"We don't have those," Jimmy answered, causing the others to burst out laughing.

Jimmy watched his new chief with mixed emotions. The man gained everyone's trust during the past couple of days. He was a professional, and a very talented officer and commander, yet Jimmy couldn't shake the sneaking feeling, that by liking Kidd he was betraying his best friend. Lou didn't hide her dislike of the man. She was practically hostile towards him. Kidd, on his part, tried to ignore her snide remarks, and only address her when it was necessary.

Lou came out of the rest room and watched the table wearily. For a moment she thought of sneaking off, but to her disappointment Ike saw her and called her to come. She was relieved when Jimmy grabbed her hand and pulled her gently to sit next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed them affectionately, before dropping it to his side.

"So, Kidd," Buck started. "Tell us about yourself."

"I thought I did," Kidd smiled, feeling awkward talking about himself, especially with Lou sitting there.

"We're more interested in the personal side," Noah explained. "Are you married? Do you have a family?"

"What about you?" Kidd tried to buy some time.

"All singles," Ike smiled. "Not much to tell. What about you?"

To Kidd's relief, the waitress just came back with their drinks. They all watched in astonishment as Lou downed her wine in one gulp, before the waitress had the time to put the rest of the drinks on the table.

"I'd like another one of that," Lou said and the waitress nodded and walked away.

"So, Kidd, you were saying..." Cody reminded him they didn't forget their earlier discussion.

Kidd took a sip of his beer before he started. "Well, I'm engaged," he said, looking at his teammates, trying as best as he could to avoid Lou's eyes.

Lou stared at Kidd across the table, watching him laughing and joking with the others. He seemed so kind, so gentle with everyone. So... so gentlemanly. Her face darkened, thinking how deceptive that appearance was. He was no better than any other man, in fact he was worse... all the worse because he wasn't what he seemed, not at all. The waitress placed another glass of wine in front of her and she picked it up and drained it like it was water. Jimmy looked at her with some surprise, but her narrowed eyes were locked on Kidd with thinly veiled hostility.

The wine was rushing to her head, making her dizzy. She rarely drank, and never more than a glass of wine with a meal here and there. At her size, she couldn't really handle much liquor, and she blinked, rapidly, trying to fend off the fuzzy feeling creeping up behind her eyes.

"What's her name?" Buck asked with a smile.

"Samantha," Kidd said, a silly grin on his face.

"See, he can't even say her name without blushing," Cody laughed.

Kidd pulled a picture of a beautiful woman from his wallet and passed it around.

"She sure is pretty, Kidd," Ike appreciated the photo.

"Yes, she is," Kidd smiled proudly.

"Is she also an agent?" Noah asked

"God, no," Kidd chuckled. "She's a lawyer."

The picture was passed around to Lou, who looked at the polished, beautiful woman Kidd was going to marry. She hated him in that moment, with a ferocity that startled her, then left her weak. Tears welled up as she unwillingly remembered the last time she felt so weak with hatred for this man she had loved so much once... as much as she hated him now.

The small communications room where she wasn't supposed to be... she had persuaded Michael's superior to let her in, because she had such important news to tell him... the most important news of her life. She'd waited for him to come home for five weeks now to tell him, but decided she'd waited enough and now she waited impatiently in the room filled with video screens lining the walls, watching intently for a moment when Michael was alone, so she could speak into the microphone and not risk blowing his cover. Grinning like a fool, thinking how surprised he'd be to hear her voice... to hear what she had to tell him. Leaning back in the swivel chair, listening idly at first, then with growing attention. This wasn't like any undercover operation she'd ever seen... the other agent was looking nervously at her... she turned her back to her, turning up the volume on her earpiece, certain she was hearing wrong... but the video screen was telling the same story.

Michael was wearing a miniaturized camera, so small it could be hidden in a piece of jewelry... this time a wristwatch... and Lou could catch glimpses of a woman's neck as Michael's hands lifted her long, luxuriant hair. She could make out the outline of a woman's negligee as Michael's hand tilted the woman's head back, heard his voice murmuring her name... Marissa... and telling Marissa she was the only woman he loved. That she could trust him, trust him with anything. The camera lurched and Lou's stomach with it as Marissa's head landed on the bed. The communications room seemed to vanish, and all Lou's attention focused on the sights playing before her on the screen, the sounds piping into her earpiece.

The screen was jerking now, in a fast rhythm, Lou realized wildly, tears running down her face as she leaned over the screen, her head in her hands, averting her eyes from the other agent, who looked away in pity. She couldn't tear herself away, couldn't stop looking at her own betrayal by the one person she never believed would hurt her.

Lou now stonily stared... she was in shock, too shocked to move... too shocked and sore to do anything but watch until the other agent, overcome with pity for her, suddenly reached over, clicking off the video screen... but her earpiece was still on... and she heard the sound of the bed creaking heavily as he fell against it, whispering, "I love you, Marissa" .

She never remembered, later, how she got home. It was as if the drive from headquarters to their apartment never happened, but somehow, she found herself home. Or not home... but where they had lived their lie together. She had somehow packed, through her tears, and with all the efficiency of her training and experience as an agent, she left no trace, just her engagement ring in the box he'd given it to her in, set on the table... and vanished, from his life. She wouldn't demean herself with a confrontation... she couldn't bear the sight of him now. She knew she never, ever could trust him again... after seeing him make love to another woman, one who believed his lies as much as she had.

When Lou ordered a third glass of wine, Jimmy started to get alarmed. "You sure, Lou? You don't usually have more than one."

Lou looked up in his concerned eyes and started to giggle. The wine started to have an effect on her. She snaked her hand behind his neck and pulled him towards her for a passionate kiss. Jimmy's eyes almost popped out when she started letting her other hand roam over his upper body. She'd never acted like that in public, they tried to keep their affair discreet, and act professionally with the other agents.

"Lou," he moaned, as he felt her hand sneaking under the back of his shirt. He tried to break free, feeling uncomfortable with the stares of his friends and their cheering, but she held him tight and continued the assault, until he gave up and closed his eyes, returning the caresses.

Kidd averted his eyes, uncomfortable with the display of affection. He didn't remember her being so extroverted, but figured she'd probably changed in the past four years.

Jimmy sighed in relief when Lou's third glass of wine arrived and she released her hold on him. That was, until he saw her handle it the same way she did the first two. He was worried about her. She was plowing through the Chardonnay like he'd never seen her doing since they'd met three years ago. He laid a hand on hers. "Lou? Can I have a word with you... in private?" She tossed back the remains of the wine and lurched out of her seat, as he led her by the hand away from the table.

He guided her away from the noisy bar and toward a small private room. Trying the door, he found it unlocked and slipped inside the vacant room with her. She leaned her back weakly against the wall as he tried to find a switch. "Jimmy?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to find some light in here." He held her hand as he felt around.

"Never mind it." She drew him close, pulling his mouth down on hers. She was kicking off her shoes, and he knew what she wanted. He was as ever willing to oblige. He slipped his arms around her with a contented sigh. He could never figure how come things never had progressed beyond this with her... they were best friends 'with benefits' as the song went... loved each other deeply as friends; and what's more, the sex was earth-shattering for both of them. But somehow, the relationship stayed just as it was, he reflected, as they felt their way forward, bumping against a banquette.

Eagerly, he laid her down on the leather bench and made love to her.

"You're wonderful," she moaned, "Just what I needed right now," she told him. "You have no idea how much."

Afterwards, as they sat panting together, he stroked her back softly. "Incredible," he managed. "Marry me," he joked, and she swatted at him.

"It would serve you right if I took you serious one of these days," she reprimanded him, getting up and retrieving her clothes.

She dressed rapidly, glancing at her watch in the light from the banquette. "Damn it. It's late... Theresa picked Zach up for me from daycare but it's past his bedtime. He gets upset if I don't get there in time to give him a hug and a story."

Lou cursed herself for losing track of time. Jimmy pulled his pants up and followed her out into the hallway. Kidd, emerging from the men's room, was surprised to see Lou and Jimmy, disheveled, limping out of the empty room; and he stepped back into the recessed doorway as Jimmy pulled her close for a lingering kiss. "You going to be all right heading back alone? I'll leave now if you want me to."

She grinned up at Jimmy, making Kidd's heart skip a beat. "Ain't you had enough for one night, cowboy?"

"Of you? There's no such thing as enough." Jimmy kissed her again, pressing up against her as she wound her hands in his hair.

"And I thought," he continued, his finger tracing a line on her exposed skin just above her cleavage, "maybe you could show me again what you learned at the stripping school, maybe give me a little lap dance in that sexy outfit of yours."

Lou laughed and swatted his hands as he started to tickle her. "Maybe some other time. Now I better go; and you'd better stay here. I need some sleep tonight," she teased. "I'll call you on the cell to let you know I got in all right."

"Don't forget... you're sure now? You had a bit to drink tonight."

"I'll take a cab straight home. I'll be fine, but thanks. You stay and have a good time."

"Somehow I think the evening has already peaked for me, but okay." Jimmy walked her to the stairs. "I'm putting you in a cab myself, partner."

Kidd emerged from the shadows. He was surprised at how much it hurt to see her with Jimmy... he felt flustered, angry, though he knew he had no right. He was with Samantha now. But Jimmy and Lou were partners... it was against regulations for them to have an affair. That was it... that was what bothered him, he told himself... knowing full well it was a lie. That regulation hadn't meant a damn to him when he was Lou's partner. He sighed and turned sadly back toward the table, somehow not recognizing his own life anymore... and wishing with all his heart he was speeding downtown in a cab with Lou McCloud.

Jimmy returned to the table a moment later.

"Lou went home?" Buck asked.

Jimmy simply nodded, averting his eyes from Kidd.

"She must be exhausted after the physical exercise," Kidd remarked sarcastically, making Jimmy blush.

"No, it's always like that with her," Cody volunteered. "She's always cutting out early to tuck her son in."

"Her son?" Kidd asked surprised.

"Yeah," Cody smiled. "She doesn't look like a mama, does she?" he continued, oblivious to the murdering glares from Jimmy. "Zach is about three and a half. Ouch, who kicked me?" he exclaimed.

Kidd turned a hard gaze to Jimmy. "You're not the father, are you?"

Jimmy shook his head, unable to meet Kidd's eyes.

"Who, Jimmy?" Cody laughed. "She never said much about Zach's father. Only that it's someone she used to know in Los Angeles. I think she named the boy after him."

Kidd didn't avert his eyes from Jimmy. "You know, don't you?"

Jimmy nodded.

Kidd rose, his face red with anger. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He pulled a few bills from his wallet and put them on the table as he left.

"What's with him?" Cody asked, nothing deterring his good mood.

"Somehow I have a feeling it's something you said, Cody," Noah answered, smacking his blond friend's head.

"You think he's Zach's father?" Ike asked. "They probably knew each other in LA..."

"But his name's Michael," Buck said. "And Lou named her son after his father..."

They all looked at Jimmy for answers, but he got up from the table and was rapidly dialing his cellphone. "Damn it," he muttered, frustrated. "Call's not goin' through." He headed outside, dialing and re-dialing frantically.

Chapter Three

Lou's eyes drooped sleepily in the back seat of the cab, as she watched the streets flash by on the way home. She'd had a hell of a week, and just wanted to get home and into bed. In the morning, she'd think about her plans for the future, for Theresa's and Zach's futures. She didn't know how she'd tell Theresa she had to move again. Theresa was in college now and couldn't come with her. She would miss her sister so much. She'd miss Jimmy so much, her job and friends. Tears stung her eyes a little. Maybe it isn't worth it to keep Zach from him. Maybe I need to let go of the bitterness, let him get to know his son. Zach needs a father, too, a part of her reasoned.

But another part of her, that up to now had always won the battle in her heart, rose up and hardened her again. No. He isn't who you thought he was. He isn't the person he pretended to be, that you fell in love with. Forget him. Move on with your son. He's getting married... if you tell him the truth, he probably will take you to court, force you to give him visitation. He's engaged and probably living with that Samantha. I'll have to give up Zach on every other weekend, half the holidays. I can't do it.

Her tormented thoughts were disrupted when the cellphone at her hip vibrated. She looked at the number, but didn't recognize it. Clicking the phone open, she answered, "Officer McCloud," briskly as she could with the slightly nauseated feeling the wine was now giving her.

"Are you almost home?"

"Who is this?" Lou demanded.

"Zachary's father. I took the metro and I'm two blocks from your apartment."

She froze. "Michael?" she croaked.

"I said it was Zachary's father. How far are you from the house? Theresa answered your phone a minute ago and she said you weren't home yet."

"I'm almost at the metro station near my place." She sighed, tapping on the glass partition to the driver. "Let me out at the metro station instead."

"I'll go back there and wait. We have to talk," Kidd snapped, and hung up.

Lou trembled, as she stared numbly at the phone, before closing it and replacing it at her hip with shaking fingers. Damn it.

She climbed out of the cab, handing back the fare, and saw Kidd glowering at her from the sidewalk. Before she could speak, he accosted her, backing her against a nearby storefront. "How could you keep this from me? Bad enough you ran out without a word, just left your ring with no explanation, nothing. But this? What the hell did I do to deserve this?" he demanded.

He was too close; she turned, trying to squirm away from him, but he put an arm up to prevent her. Her training and instinct took over, and she kneed him sharply before sweeping his feet from under him with a swift movement, landing him prostrate on the ground.

He cursed himself as she started stomping into the distance, and pulled himself to his feet. He'd forgotten for a moment that despite her tiny size, she was if anything better trained in hand to hand combat than he was, and wouldn't hesitate to use her skills. He ran to catch up, but wisely refrained from any further physical contact.

"Listen to me, Lou. I want to know what happened. Why did you run away and take our child with you? Can you give any kind of reason? Damn it, Lou, this is crazy - I don't know who you are, anymore. I never thought you'd be capable of this."

"Well, the feeling is mutual."

"What are you talking about?" he nearly shouted.

She stopped, leaning her arm up against a wall tiredly. He was taken aback at the frank pain on her face.

"I'm talking about you. How I found out you weren't who I thought you were. How you broke my heart," she burst out.

Lou turned, blinking back tears. "I know you cheated on me."

Kidd's heart dropped.

"Don't you know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about Marissa, Michael."

His voice was low. "How did you know about her?"

She looked at him evenly, her tears falling freely down her face, unheeded. "I saw you."

He gaped at her, mouth open.

"I came to headquarters to tell you about the baby. You'd been out on a case for a few weeks, and I was impatient. Wanted to contact you through your wire."

He was pale now, pale with shame and humiliation.

Her voice was strained, as she continued. "I saw you making love to her. I heard it. I heard you say you loved her. I sat there, carrying your child, watching you with her." Barely whispering, she asked, "How could you?"

"It was for the mission, Lou-"

She turned away in disgust. "Oh for God's sake, Michael, don't."

"It's true, Lou- let me explain-"

"Explain? You had a chance to get a piece of action while you were undercover and you took it. That's all, Michael, don't insult me."

"I'm telling you the truth. I needed to get information from her, right away, make her trust me to-"

"And you couldn't just, oh, take her down to HQ and interrogate her, maybe? Ever hear of that? Or is this a new interrogation method? Last time I checked it wasn't in the manual."

"Please, Lou, let me tell you the whole story."

They had arrived at her building; she sighed. "We're here." Stepping inside the lobby and pushing the button for the elevator, she muttered, "I suppose you want to see him?"

Kidd hesitated. He hadn't even known he had a child half an hour ago. He was unprepared to meet a little boy who was his son. The door to the elevator opened and she held it open. "Well? Are you coming up?" she demanded. He nodded and stepped in to the elevator.

As she pushed the button for her floor, she folded her arms over her chest. "Whatever you've got to say to me about Marissa, it can wait. I don't want Zach or Theresa to hear us talking about that." She watched the indicator moving past the floor numbers a moment. "And if you don't mind, I think we should wait to tell him you're his father until we have more time to prepare him."

"Oh, and when will that be?" Kidd demanded. "When you say so?"

She looked down. "Zach is three years old, Michael. I don't know how he's going to react to meeting his father for the first time."

"What does he know about me?"

"He only started asking about his father the last few months. I told him you were a special agent like me and you live in California. That's it. Michael, I'm not trying to pull any fast ones on you. I just don't want to spring this on him when he's tired, with no warning, please understand."

"Let me help you put him to bed, then we can talk some more. Is that reasonable enough?" Kidd asked sarcastically.

"Fine," she muttered, stepping off the elevator.

Unlocking the door, Lou stuck her head in. "Theresa? It's me - I have company. Are you decent?"

"I'm fine, Lou. Hi, Jimmy," Theresa called back, as she came in the room carrying a sleepy Zach, dressed in his pajamas, in her arms. He had his head resting on her shoulder. At the sight of Kidd, Theresa looked taken aback. "Michael?" she asked, astonished. "Is it... is it you?" she said uncertainly.

"Nice to see you again, Theresa," Kidd answered, his eyes fixed on the little boy. It was like looking at himself as a child, he realized.

Lou explained, shortly, "Theresa moved in with me three years ago when Mom died."

Kidd looked startled. "Lou, I'm sorry. I didn't hear that Mary Louise had died. Where's Jeremiah now?"

"He signed up with the Army right after Mom died. He's been in Iraq for three years," Lou said regretfully.

Kidd nodded, his face softening at the thought of what Lou had been dealing with alone all this time.

Looking at Zach, Theresa murmured, "His teeth are brushed and he's ready for bed. He wanted to stay up and wait for Mama, but he's fading fast." She handed him over to Lou, who cuddled him to her. The little boy clung to his mother, smiling. "Read me a story, Mama?"

She nodded. "This is Michael, Zach. He works at Mama's office." The boy looked at Kidd politely, yawning hello. "Maybe he could read you your story?" Lou suggested.

"No! You are supposed to read it," the boy protested, a cranky look appearing on his face. "And say my prayers with me," he demanded.

"Okay," she sighed. "But can Michael come along and listen to the story too?" The boy shrugged and nodded.

Kidd followed Lou into a bedroom covered with pictures of cowboys and horses. There was a picture of Zach sitting proudly on a pony framed on the dresser. The little boy knelt next to his bed, with Lou, looking a little embarrassed, kneeling beside him. The pair clasped their hands, leaning their elbows on the bed, and chanted, "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. AMEN."

Zach continued, "God bless Mama, and Theresa, and Jeremiah, and Uncle Jimmy, and me."

Kidd's face stiffened visibly at the mention of "Uncle Jimmy", but Lou ignored him, watching Zach climb into bed. "Okay, which will you have tonight?" Lou asked, standing by the bookshelf.

As Zach considered the choices, the phone rang twice. Theresa tapped on the door. "It's Jimmy," she said awkwardly.

"Uncle Jimmy!" shouted the boy, jumping up and dancing excitedly up and down in his footie pajamas. "Let me say good night to him!"

Glancing at Lou and Kidd awkwardly, Theresa handed the boy the phone and made her escape.

"G'night, Uncle Jimmy. Am I gonna see you in the morning?" The boy listened. "Okay," he said, looking disappointed. He paused another moment, listening. "Yes, she's fine." He paused another moment. "He says he wants to talk to you," he said, handing the phone to Lou.

Lou took the phone and put it to her ear, walking over toward the window. "I know. He's here now." She glanced at Kidd, listening. "It's okay. Really. Yes, he knows now." She paused another moment. "Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, partner."

"No 'I love you'?" Kidd asked a little bitterly as she clicked off the phone.

Her eyes flashed with anger, but she bit her lip. "First thing we need to get straight," she said evenly, an eye cocked toward Zach as he stood on his foot stool to reach a book, "is that you stay out of my personal life, and I'll stay out of yours. Fair enough?" She turned and took the book Zach offered and sat beside him, turning the lights off except for a lamp by the bed. Kidd stood by the door, watching the woman he had loved and their son bathed in half-light, as she read him a story about the Old West. Soon enough, the boy's eyes drooped shut and Lou closed the book gently, placing it on the nightstand. She gestured to Kidd and they slipped out and down the hallway to the living room.

Chapter Four

Rubbing her head tiredly, Lou went into the kitchen. The wine and the stress were giving her a massive headache, and she opened a cabinet to take out some tylenol. She washed it down with a bottled water as Kidd stood watching her.

"I'm not used to that much wine," she muttered, sitting down at the table. They fell silent a moment as Kidd sat across from her. He looked up and studied her. "You just going to sit there staring at me all night, Michael, or do you have something you want to get off your chest?"

Kidd sighed. "Lou, I guess I see the reason you ran off like you did. It can't have been easy seeing what you did, without knowing the reasons behind it. But it hurts... a lot... that you threw away what we had so easy without even taking the time to face me."

Lou stared at him insolently. "Michael, I know what you said. You did it for the mission you were on, to get information. Like that justifies it. Even if it's true, you put your career over being faithful to me, plain and simple."

"It isn't that plain and simple, not at all." He looked down. "You don't know the case I was working. Lou, we had information that a white supremacist group was planning to make a terrorist strike on a major metropolitan target. Hundreds of people were in danger of being killed. The group was spread out over the country in different cells... I was trying to infiltrate one of them. Marissa... Marissa was in charge of the cell, and I needed to get her to trust me, so I could get in on the operation they were planning. I was running out of time, she was suspicious when... when I wouldn't..." he stopped. "I needed to get her to believe I was for real," he finished. "I did, and I got into the operation and we managed to avert it."

Lou looked strangely at him; he insisted, "Lou, I swear it. Standard interrogation wouldn't have done any good, Marissa would have rather died than betray her cause. I needed to make her believe in me."

She shook her head, dropping it into her hands. "And what about what it did to you as a person, Michael? To pretend to love her... make love to her, a woman like that, when you were supposed to be in love with me? How can you expect anyone to trust you if you'll go to those extremes?"

Kidd's face was stricken with guilt and shame; he remembered again exactly how he'd felt.

After Marissa had gotten up and gone into the other room to make the call that would put him in contact with the operation's leaders, he had taken off the camera watch and stepped into the shower. He was surprised to find himself shaking, leaned against the wall, almost nauseated. He'd stood there woodenly for long minutes, as the water rushed over him and down the drain, but didn't seem to wash away his guilt. He hadn't planned this. But as an agent his job was to think on his feet, react and act independently, and the relationship with Marissa had presented itself as a way to ingratiate himself into the operation. It had gotten out of hand, the role he was playing took on its own life; and the desperation for a break in the case before the tragedy struck had led him to this. All of it working together to make him take this ethically questionable step. To become intimate with a woman who was repulsive to him, not physically perhaps but morally. But how could he have done otherwise? How could he put his loyalty to Louise over his duty, over the lives of innocent people? He'd sighed, dreading having to go back and face Lou with this. He knew he couldn't keep it from her, but how, how could he look her in the eyes after what he had done?

Lou watched Kidd's face as emotions shifted across it. She had never considered this, she realized. She had never dreamed that Michael could have had a reason to do what he did. Her own experiences, with her father, with other men, had taught her that no man could be trusted. So when the evidence seemed so clear, she assumed he was as guilty as he had appeared. Worse, she had never given him a chance to tell his side.

"My God," she whispered. "Michael..." she stammered, helplessly. "You're telling the truth? You had to do it?"

He recognized the regret and pain in her voice; not able to trust his voice, he put his hand over hers and nodded. She shook her head. "I... I just thought you were like all the other men I knew... my dad and..." she trailed off; he knew what she meant. They sat hand in hand for a long moment, contemplating what they had both learned about each other, and themselves, tonight.

"We have a lot to talk about, Lou," Kidd finally said. "We have a child together, and I want some part in his life."

"What about your fiancée? You need to talk to her before we decide anything, Michael. I won't have my child visiting overnight with you unless I know she is going to be all right with that. And I want to meet her, first, too."

Kidd realized that for the last few hours, he had barely given a thought to his fiancée. Guiltily, he nodded. "I'll talk to her when I get home, I guess," he said, checking the time and getting up.

Lou walked him to the door, where he turned and looked down into Lou's eyes. "Lou, you're doing a wonderful job with Zach, I can tell that."

She blushed, looking up at Kidd's eyes, she found herself getting lost in their blueness, just like in the old days. Kidd moved toward her and, to her shock, enveloped her in his arms. Standing in his arms, Lou found herself relaxing; found her surroundings getting warm and blurry.

Time stood still for both of them; Kidd realized with a guilty start that his heart was racing, and he was having feelings for her again, feelings that he'd thought were long buried. He remembered his fiancée again, and gently stepped back from Louise.

"I'll talk to Samantha tonight, and we can get back to this a bit tomorrow, after we've both had a chance to think, okay?"

She nodded, and saying goodbye, he stepped out. Sighing helplessly, she put the chain on the door and walked shakily to her bedroom, where she finally broke down in lonely sobs.

She could still feel his arms around her, could still smell his scent. For as long as she knew him, he always used the same aftershave, and now that he held her close, she could not escape breathing in that masculine scent that was so him. Her already blurry mind took her to places down memory lane she always tried hard to keep behind.

"So, what do you say?" her handsome partner had asked. "Would you come to the party with me Saturday night?"

Lou looked at him skeptically. "I thought you were joking," she answered.

"Why?" he seemed to be offended. "Is it so laughable?"

Her heart melted at the hurt in his eyes and she put a hand on his arm. "Michael, you can probably take any woman you want. I'm sure you can do better than me."

"Better than you?" he asked surprised. "I've never met a better woman than you."

Lou was about to make a sarcastic comment, when she saw the sincerity clear on his face. "Ok," she smiled. "I'll go with you to the party."

A couple of days later he picked her up in his blue Mustang convertible. He got out of the car and opened the passenger door for her, then closed it after she was settled.

He was such a gentleman the whole evening, opening doors for her, bringing her drinks, making sure she was comfortable.

At one point in the evening, he stood up and held a hand out to her. "May I have this dance?" he asked shyly.

"You may," she smiled at him.

They danced to a slow tune. He held her close, but not too close, and Lou thought she'd never felt so comfortable and secure before. It was like their bodies were created for each other.

As they continued dancing Lou grew more comfortable and rested her head against his chest. The scent of him brought such peace to her that at one point she felt her eyes closing and she almost fell asleep in his arms.

"I had a great time tonight," he told her as he followed her to her building's entrance.

"Me too," she answered, taking his hands in hers. "I'm glad you insisted."

He chuckled and leaned to kiss her cheek. When he pulled away he looked into her eyes. She was so lost in the blue of his eyes, that she never realized her hands were now resting on his chest as she rose on her tiptoes and kissed his mouth.

Their first kiss was tender at first, but soon filled with passion as he encircled her waist and pulled her towards him.

They broke the kiss panting.

"I... I should go..." she stumbled.

He nodded in understanding and released her. "Can I see you tomorrow?" he called before she disappeared inside the building.

Lou stopped and looked at him mischievously, she thought of saying something else, but the look of hope on his face stopped her and she merely nodded.

The smile that came to his face was priceless.

They spent the whole next day together. Michael picked her up in the morning and they went for a stroll on the beach, they had lunch and ice cream and Lou found herself enjoying her time with him even more than she thought she would.

They also shared a few more kisses, when he met her by his car, when they sat on the bench by the ocean... he was a great kisser.

When he brought her home, later that evening, she asked him to come up to her apartment. She knew it could be considered too fast, but she couldn't help herself. She already realized she was a goner. That man had captured her heart already, over the months they had worked together.

"Are you sure, Louise?" he asked, stopping her from entering.

She just nodded and led him into her apartment. As soon as the door closed she kissed him deeply, wanting him to know exactly what she had in mind.

"Louise, honey," he tried between kisses, "slow down a bit." He chuckled at the confused look on her face and kissed her forehead lightly.

Lou broke free from his embrace, suddenly very aware of her fast progress.

He noticed her change in demeanor and went to sit on the couch. "Nothing has to happen, Louise. I've got all the time in the world."

She smiled at him, he was such a gentleman, which only made her want him more. "Would you like some wine?"

"Sure," he replied.

"Maybe you can put some music on the stereo," she suggested.

She brought the wine to the living room and was pleased to hear his choice of music playing from the stereo.

She put the glasses on the coffee table and reached a hand to him. "May I have this dance?" she asked, mimicking his line from the previous night.

"You may," he chuckled, playing her game.

They danced for a couple of songs, clinging very close to each other. Lou pulled his head down and kissed him, her hands roaming his chest over his shirt. As she tugged at the buttons of his shirt, she felt his hands pull her blouse out of her skirt and slide up her back under the blouse. She'd thought her heart was going to beat out of control as he bent to pick her up, and carried her to her bed.

That night they made love for the first time, and the second and the third. They couldn't get enough of each other. They explored every inch of each other, with eyes, hands, mouths, even as they had secretly dreamed of doing through months of longing.

Lou opened her eyes with a start. It took her a couple of seconds to realize she was in her bed, alone. Her memory of making love with Michael was so vivid she could feel it, but she knew that it was possible only in her mind. Kidd was another woman's man now. She lost him because she was too insecure about his love for her.

She felt her heart break, much the same way as it did four years before, and she let out a sorrowful cry before her body started shaking with sobs.

Kidd sighed wearily as he opened the door to his new apartment and trudged in. He tripped over the unpacked boxes in the hallway and careened into a small table, knocking it over.

"You home, Sugar?" Samantha called.

He walked back into the dining room, where pajama-clad Samantha had set up a study area. She had law books piled around her along with written outlines.

"I must really love you, Michael, to study for a bar exam again. Good lord, I've forgotten so much. I don't know if I can pass the Virginia bar," she worried.

Kidd picked up a set of flash cards. "Adverse possession?" he asked.

Her beautiful eyes looked up at him worriedly. "Adverse possession. Don't tell me." She wailed, "I was a Federal prosecutor for five years, Michael. I don't remember adverse possession..."

Kidd gently reminded her, "OCEANS?"

She grinned. "Oh yeah! The possession must be Open and notorious; Continuous and uninterrupted; Exclusive; Actual; Non-permissive; and for the Statutory period!"

He tried to smile. "Good job, sweetheart."

She looked at him more closely. "What's wrong, baby?" she said, concerned. She got up and guided him to the living room, where she sat on his lap and rubbed his temples.

He looked down. "I told you my ex-fiancée was assigned to my team."

"I know. You said she put in for a transfer, so she'll be gone pretty soon, won't she?"

He stroked Samantha's back absently. "She won't be transferring now."

Samantha looked serious. "You mean you'll have to work with her every day?"

"It's more than that."

Confused, Samantha asked, "What do you mean?"

He took Samantha's hand. "I found out today that when Lou left me, she was pregnant. She has a three and a half year old son." He looked up at Samantha. "I'm the father."

Samantha stared a moment, and then jumped up, shaking her head.

"Samantha, I didn't know, I swear it."

She was standing with her back to him, hands on her hips. "So, what's this mean?" she asked. "Is she married? With anybody?"

"She has a boyfriend. He's part of the team too."

Samantha nodded. "What does she expect from you? Child support?"

Kidd looked stunned. "She... she hasn't said anything about that, but now that you mention it, I should give her something. She's provided for Zach all by herself up to now, I owe her some help."

"Michael, are you even sure he's yours?"

"Lou wouldn't have been unfaithful," Kidd said, wincing a little. That was more than he could say for himself. "Besides, he looks exactly like me."

"You've met him already? Where? At her house?"

Kidd shifted uncomfortably. "Yes. I went back there to talk to her and meet Zach."

"Was her boyfriend there?"

"No, Samantha, he wasn't. What are you getting at?" Kidd asked.

"Just that you were alone with a woman you've told me broke your heart, and who's the mother of your child," she said, her voice breaking a little on the last comment. She turned her face away. "She gave you your first son," she said, with a short sob.

"Samantha," he said, moving toward her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we won't share that together. But he is my son. I want to get to know him."

"So get to know him then."

Kidd looked down. "I was hoping we could have him here overnight, once he's ready. Lou wants to meet you first-"

Samantha whirled. "Oh, she does, does she? Wants to give me the once over, find out if I'm good enough to watch her child for her?"

"She's just trying to do what's right for Zach," Kidd started.

"Well, I won't have time to meet her, not for a while. Since I agreed to leave my job and follow you out here, I have to study for my exam if I plan to have a job. I can't spare the time to meet your ex-lover right now." She stormed back to her table and sat down, picking up her books and pretending to study. But Kidd saw that her eyes were blinded with tears.

"Samantha, please," he said, kneeling by her chair. "I know I've asked a lot of you, coming out here and starting over as a new lawyer out here. I know this is a terrible shock to you. But please, I need your support if I'm going to have a relationship with my son."

She looked at him, with that keen, intuitive appraisal that had made her one of the best junior prosecutors in Los Angeles. She could size up a defendant, a witness, a juror, with uncanny accuracy; and Kidd was an open book to her. "It isn't your relationship with him that worries me. It's your relationship with her."

Kidd went scarlet. "My relationship with her ended four years ago, when she ran out on me. And she has somebody of her own now. She seems crazy about him."

Under her direct gaze, Kidd dropped his eyes. Samantha sighed, rubbing her eyes. She saw that Kidd was lying, not to her but to himself. Wearily, she nodded. "Let's have all three of them over for dinner, then. Saturday night. I'll have something sent in, find out what Zach likes to eat and I'll get it for him. Okay?"

Kidd hesitantly nodded, thanking her and kissing her on the forehead. "You coming to bed?" he asked. She shook her head. "I want to finish this section first."

As Kidd headed in to bed, Samantha dropped her head on her hand. She would have some time to consider her options and figure out what she was going to do about this, by Saturday. She sighed, turning back to her books, but stared unseeing at the pages.

Chapter Five

Theresa knocked on her sister's bedroom door. When she received no response, she opened the door and looked inside. Through the dim light she noticed Lou lying on her bed, still wearing her clothes from the previous night. She went to the window and opened the shades, lighting the room.

Lou tossed in bed, trying to shelter her eyes from the offending light. "Theresa, what the hell are you doing?" she cried. "Close the blinds."

"Lou, you have to get up. You'll be late for work."

"I'm not feeling very well," Lou mumbled. "I called in sick."

"It's because of Michael, isn't it?" Theresa wouldn't let it go. "You have to face him sooner or later, Lou. He's your supervisor now."

"Please, Theresa. I can't face him yet." Lou jumped off the bed and closed the blinds, staring at her sister angrily for a moment, before she sat on the bed tiredly. "Where's Zach?" she asked as she started undressing.

"I already took him to day care," Theresa answered. She opened the closet door and took off a suit for her sister, but was surprised, when she turned back towards the bed, to find her sister curled under the blanket, her clothes from the previous night scattered on the floor. She sighed and left the room, closing the door behind her.

She contemplated on whether or not she should but then decided it was the right thing to do. She returned to her sister's bedroom quietly and took the cellphone from the nightstand. When she was out of the room she went through the contact list. When she found the person she wanted the pressed the send button and waited.

"Are you okay? They said you called in sick today, what's the matter?" Jimmy asked immediately.

"Jimmy, it's Theresa," Theresa said, smiling to herself. Jimmy cared so much about her sister. Now she was certain she did the right thing by calling him.

"Theresa? What's wrong? Has something happened to Lou? To Zach?"

At hearing their names, Kidd was by Jimmy's side in an instant. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Jimmy motioned for him to hold.

"I'm not sure what it is, Jimmy, but Lou's really upset. She says she doesn't feel well and that she wants to stay in bed. It's not like her."

Jimmy nodded. "I'll be right there. Are you still at home? I don't have a key."

"Well, I really should get going. I have a class in half an hour. I'll leave a key for you under the rug."

"Ok. I'm on my way."

"What is it?" Kidd asked as Jimmy flipped his cell and started heading out.

"I'm not sure, but I'm taking the morning off and going to find out," Jimmy said, then a thought occurred to him and he turned abruptly, staring Kidd straight in the eyes. "Did you do anything to her last night?"

Kidd's face flushed with anger. "I'll pretend you didn't just ask me that, Officer Hickok. We had a talk and she was fine when I left her."

Jimmy felt like a fool. He should've known better than to accuse his supervisor of mistreating Lou. He didn't know him long, but it was obvious he was not that kind of a man. "I'm sorry, Kidd. I'm just worried about her."

Kidd's face softened. "Let me know if she's ok."

Jimmy nodded and went on his way.

Jimmy found the key Theresa left for him and let himself in the apartment. He went straight to the bedroom and opened the door silently. His heart softened at the sight of the woman he loved curled on the bed, her hands under her face.

He sat on the bed by her side and stroked her hair. She stirred and opened her eyes, blinking before she focused on him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked sleepily.

"Theresa called me, worried about you, so I came," he answered nonchalantly.

Lou sat, forgetting to pull the blanket around her, revealing her bare breasts. Though it wasn't the first time he saw her naked body, Jimmy felt a little uncomfortable.

She noticed his flushed face and averted gaze and grabbed a shirt that was scattered on the bed beside her, muttering, "it's not like you hadn't seen them before."

"What's going on, Lou?" he ignored her snide remark.

"I think I had a little too much to drink last night," she answered.

"That's the understatement of the century, Lou. You had a lot to drink last night. Well, by your standards anyway. You know you can't handle that much to drink, that fast. What's got into you?"

Lou blushed as she remembered her shameful behavior from the night before. "I really made a fool of myself, didn't I?"

Jimmy pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "No more than usual," he tried to joke. "What triggered it?"

Lou shrugged and pulled away. "It doesn't matter anymore," she said, getting up.

He put his hands on her hips and looked in her eyes. "Do you want to tell me about last night?"

"You mean about Michael?"

Jimmy nodded and Lou sighed and sat on the bed by his side. He took her hand in his, wanting her to know that no matter what, he'd be there for her.

"Well, I told you already that he's Zach's father, and you know that he found out about it last night." She took a deep breath before she continued. "We were involved for a couple of years and, as I told you, we were engaged. One day I found out he cheated on me, or at least I thought he did. I left him the same day, never gave him a chance to explain. I was two months pregnant by then, but didn't have a chance to tell him about the baby."

Tears were falling freely from her eyes, and Jimmy tried to wipe them, but she moved her face out of his reach. "Last night I found out I was wrong."

"He didn't cheat on you?"

"Not exactly."

Jimmy looked baffled. "What is 'not exactly' cheating?"

She sighed. "He was on an assignment, undercover. I went into the surveillance room to wait for a chance to make contact. I saw him with another woman."

"That sounds like cheating, Lou."

"That's what I thought. I saw the evidence with my own eyes... and I didn't want to deal with it. I just left him without a word."

"So what did you find out last night that you were wrong about?"

She looked down. "I found out he had to do it. He was trying to infiltrate a terrorist cell, and was running out of time. They planned to bomb a major target and he needed to get in on the operation that day, or it would be too late." She wrung her hands. "I assumed the worst even though I should have known him better than that."

"You couldn't have known that, Lou."

"But I could have stayed and faced him, instead of running away like a coward."

He took her hand again. "Why didn't you, Lou?" he asked quietly.

Lou shook her head. "There are things you don't know about me, Jimmy. Because of my past, I don't know how to trust men." She picked at Jimmy's sleeve, continuing, "My father cheated on my mother, beat her and us kids, before he ran out on us when I was twelve, leaving us with nothing but debts. My first real boyfriend, Lyle, was an older man who abused me, cheated on me, made me feel worthless." Breaking off, Lou hid her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

Jimmy pulled her into his embrace, heedless to her attempts to break free. He rocked her until her sobs subsided. His voice was choked a little, when he said wryly, "That just doesn't sound like you, Lou. I can't picture you letting anybody treat you that way."

She sniffled. "I decided after I got free from Lyle Wicks, I wasn't going to let any man hurt me again. I went through the training for the CIA and NCS, and learned how to stand up for myself. But deep down, I still feel worthless. Like nobody could really love me."

He kissed her head, then her eyes and nose. He kissed her mouth tenderly at first, then deepened the kiss.

Lou allowed herself to get lost in the kiss for a moment, before she pushed herself from Jimmy's embrace and walked across the room.

"Stop it," she snapped at him. "Don't you understand what I'm saying? I'm damaged, Jimmy. I can't trust men. The only man who ever really loved me, I pushed away because I just was afraid of getting hurt and abused again."

Jimmy couldn't bear to hear her say that; Doesn't she know how much I love her?. "Lou, come here," Jimmy said calmly, reaching out his hand to her. "Come here."

Lou looked at him. "What are you doing here, Jimmy?" she asked him again, standing in front of him, too far for his arm to reach her.

"I told you, Lou. I was worried about you."

"Why?" she questioned.

"What do you mean, Why?" he stood up, having to remind himself to remain calm. "Lou, you're my best friend," he moved closer to her, slowly so she won't back away. When he was close enough he quickly reached and pulled her into her arms. "What do you want me to say, Lou? wouldn't you be worried if you were me?"

Lou looked into his eyes and saw the truth in them. She always knew he loved her, but the raw emotions in his eyes startled her. "Jimmy," she started. "I can't love. Not truly love. I can't trust anyone. Not when it counts. I don't deserve anyone loving me."

"Oh, God, Lou. You are so wrong," Jimmy started. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. I don't think you're damaged, Lou. Maybe you made a mistake with Kidd, but it doesn't mean you're ruined. Everyone makes mistakes, regardless of their past; and there's no way you could have guessed the truth. You're being too hard on yourself."

He kissed her forehead before he pulled her head to rest against his chest, not wanting her to see the hope and fear in his eyes when he said what he was about to. "You are a loving and compassionate woman. You are my best friend, Lou. You are a wonderful person, a great mother, not to mention someone I trust completely to have my back anytime."

On an impulse he cradled her cheeks and lifted her face to his and kissed her more passionately than he'd ever kissed her before. When he pulled back, they were both breathless.

"You're wrong when you say Kidd was the only person who could love you. I love you with all my heart," Jimmy confessed simply. "I know you don't feel the same, Lou, but it doesn't change how I feel for you. I love you and there's nothing you say, no matter how hard you'd be on yourself, to change that. I'm here for you, whatever it is that you need." His eyes saddened just a little as he finished, "I... I know all you might be able to give me is 'best friends with benefits', but I stay around because that's better than nothing. I just wanted you to know you do deserve love and that I love you."

Lou caught her breath. "Jimmy," she stammered. "You... you know you're more than just that to me. A lot more." She felt her head swimming. I love him so much as a person. He's my best friend. We have everything in common. Our chemistry is incredible. So what's the problem? Am I just so screwed up that I can't see love when it's right there? she puzzled. "I don't know why I hold back with you. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I know I need you, and I want to have something more with you," she struggled to explain. His face lit up with hope, adding to her confusion. "Make love to me," she whispered, hoping to lose herself in him just for the time being.

Lou impulsively reached her hand and pulled his lips to hers again. She kissed him deeply and backed towards the bed. She fell back on the bed, pulling him with her. Jimmy laced his fingers in her hair and started kissing her neck, drawing a moan of pleasure from her. The sound brought him to his senses and he pulled away, bracing himself on his arms.

"I don't think we should do it now, Lou," he panted. "I don't have any protection."

Her eyes clouded with tears again. "You don't want me?"

"What? Lou, there's nothing I want more than to make love to you, but I don't think it's what you really want right now. I don't want you to hate me later for taking advantage of you when you don't feel like yourself."

Lou sat and cupped his face in her hands. "This is what I want," she insisted. "Make love to me, Jimmy, please."

He hesitated just a moment longer, looking into her pleading eyes. "You're sure? You don't want to think about this or wait until we can get protection?"

"If you want to wait, I will. But I don't," she whispered. "I don't want to hold anything back anymore."

Jimmy bit his lip. She wanted to really make love, no matter the consequences, for the first time. It looked like love shining out of her eyes... or was it just need and want? His heart wanted to believe it was love, wanted it so much he chose to believe it, and he caught her up in his arms, kissing her over and over while backing her onto the bed again.

Lou was overwhelmed by the look in his eyes; his face was shining with newly confessed love, taking her breath away. He bent down to kiss her again, his mouth soft and tender, his hands on either side of her face, stroking her hair. Her mind was swirling with emotions. She wanted to love him. She should love him, he deserved her love, he loved her so. It would be right to love him. She did love him, she did, she kept thinking it over and over, wanting it to be true, thinking it to herself.

The crashing waves of pleasure ripped through her, and she called his name out... and something else. "I love you," she moaned.

Lou turned the faucet in her shower, and pulled the knob to turn on the showerhead. The water came rushing out and over her, and she stood, dazed and confused, under it. She mechanically reached for her soap, washing without thinking about what she was doing. Jimmy was in love with her, really in love. She knew she loved him as a person; and that she got along better with him than she had even with Michael. They never really fought. They liked all the same things. What's more, he was her dearest friend. So what was wrong? She leaned her head against the shower stall. If she hadn't ever known Michael, she knew she would think she was in heaven now, with a man like Jimmy in her life, who she cared so much about and who made her feel like this. But... why? Why was something different? It occurred to her, faintly, that somehow it was different because Michael... Michael was part of her heart, somehow. Like they were two halves of one person... and senseless as that might be, she couldn't shake that feeling. And she couldn't make herself feel that way about Jimmy, much as she cared for and needed and wanted him. That one indefinable thing was missing. But she couldn't imagine her life without Jimmy, either... and now...

Jimmy tapped on the glass door. "Got room for one more in there?" She shook off the thoughts of Kidd; he was her past, and she needed to put him out of her mind and heart. She needed to focus on Jimmy. She was being a romantic idiot, and if she tried to forget all this silly romantic nonsense about soul mates, she could have a wonderful life with Jimmy.

"Get in here, partner," she said seductively, and he grinned, stepping into the stall with her.

He reached around her for the soap, and they stood together under the hot water, enjoying the closeness and familiarity. Jimmy was happier than he had ever been in his life, watching her, treasuring the words she had finally said to him. She loved him.

Overcome with love for her, he turned her to face him and held her close. "Is it me or is it even more incredible now that we... well, now that we've said how we feel?" he said, stroking her wet hair. "Yes..." she whispered; it was true, she realized. Something was different now, but... would she be able to force Michael's memory from her mind and make this work? Looking up at Jimmy's handsome, loving face gazing down at her, she made up her mind. She was going to make Jimmy happy. She was going to make this happen, and she was going to forget. She had to, she thought determinedly. She had hurt Michael and then lost him; he was never going to be hers again. She would never, never hurt Jimmy that way. Never.

Lou and Jimmy decided to head to work after lunch, feeling bad for not pulling their weight. They entered the building hand in hand, after deciding on the way to work that it was pointless to try and keep their relationship discreet any longer, especially after the way Lou behaved the previous night.

Lou blushed scarlet when Jimmy reminded her of their making out in front of all their friends, which made him laugh and pull her towards him for an embrace.

Jimmy, on his part, still couldn't believe the luck he had. He had loved Lou for almost three years, almost from the first mission they went on together as partners. He didn't know much of her past, but figured she must have been seriously involved with someone, with whom she created that amazing child he loved like his own.

All conversation stopped when the couple entered their unit's room.

"Now, what do we have here?" Cody was the first to come to his senses.

"Good," Buck exhaled loudly. "Now we don't have to play dumb anymore."

"You told them?" Lou looked accusingly at Noah.

Noah burst out laughing. "Lou, honey," he started, putting an arm around her shoulders. "We all figured you out a couple of years ago. Seeing you kissing in the park the other day, or... more than kissing in the club last night, added nothing to what we already knew."

Lou blushed again at the mention of the previous night. Jimmy, feeling her discomfort, rushed to her side. "Ok, so you had your fun now, but if you already knew, then nothing's changed. So bring us up to speed about what's going on."

Kidd tapped on his desk impatiently. He'd buzzed for Lou and Jimmy to come in to his office several minutes ago, as soon as he'd been told they had come back in after lunch, to finish the workday. Finally, just before he went to go look for them, the door to his office opened and they came in.

"You wanted to see us both?" Jimmy asked, awkwardly.

"I see you're feeling better, Lou," Kidd mentioned, glancing her up and down.

"Yes. I guess I was just a little under the weather after last night, is all. Sorry."

Kidd shrugged. "I checked both your files finally. I don't see that attendance is much of a problem, so I'm sure you won't make a habit of it."

"So what did you want to talk to both of us about?" Lou sighed.

"Two things. One I hope you won't mind, one I think you might, unfortunately."

Jimmy crossed his arms. "Go ahead."

"Well, I guess you two are a couple, from what I saw last night, true?" Kidd asked, embarrassed.

Jimmy ducked his head, glowering. Eyes narrowed, he growled, "And what business is it of yours what we are?"

Lou put her hand on Jimmy's arm, quickly.

"It's my business because I'm your superior officer, Hickok. And it's against regulations for you two to be partnered up if you're romantically involved. You must know that."

Lou looked alarmed at Jimmy. "Michael, what goes on in our personal life has nothing to do with the job, honestly. Please don't -"

Kidd shook his head. "No. If you two are in a situation on an operation, you'll be too inclined to think with your hearts, not your heads. You can't be emotionally involved."

Lou snapped, "You certainly were able to keep your personal life out of your job, weren't you?"

Jimmy cut in, before Kidd could retort. "That's fine, Officer. If it got out that you knew about it and looked the other way, I suppose it would be your head on the chopping block. Besides, you're right." He looked at Lou, a softened look in his eyes. "If it came down to the job or you, I would pick you any time."

Lou bit her lip, casting her eyes down. She nodded, defeated.

"What was the other thing, Officer Kidd?" Jimmy asked coolly.

"Well, Samantha and I thought it would be a good idea if we all got to know each other. She'd like to have all three of you over for dinner Saturday, say around 5:00?"

Jimmy looked at Lou, who shrugged. "That'll be fine."

"She wanted to know what Zach likes to eat," Kidd said awkwardly.

"Pizza's his favorite," mumbled Lou. "He eats most things though. He's easy to please."

"Okay, then," Kidd said. "Maybe you can speak to the others about switching partners today?"

Lou nodded.

Kidd got up from behind his desk, looking down a moment. "I hope you know I'm not doing this out of spite. And it's not easy for me, but I think it's for the best. I... I really want all of us to work well together, both here and with Zach. I'm sorry to get off on this kind of start, and hope we can go up from here."

"I hope so, Michael," Lou said; she was dying to get out of this office as soon as possible.

Kidd looked at her, then sighed. "That'll be all, then."

Walking back to their desks, Jimmy lightly punched Lou in the arm. "Look on the bright side," he said, trying to catch her eye. "At least we don't have to hide anymore."

"I guess so. But we worked so well together. We hardly need to talk to know what the other's thinking. And we had our setup down pat for this next undercover job, at the embassy ball."

Jimmy nodded. "That's true; I was looking forward to that one. Very James Bond-ish, not like the boring stuff we usually get stuck with. Wonder which one of us will get stuck in the van now?"

"Don't know, the whole operation is going to have to be reworked now. Damn it. We were such great partners."

He waited until a passerby turned a corner, then in a swift movement pinned her against the wall, pressed up against her, and kissed her hungrily, one hand in her shoulder-length dark hair, the other resting lightly on her breast. "We still will be great partners," he whispered huskily.

She grinned and nodded. "Sure thing, partner," she replied, kissing back.

"What's with the long faces?" Noah chuckled as the couple returned to the squad room.

Lou sat dejectedly in her chair, and put her legs on the desk.

Jimmy smiled lovingly at her, then turned serious. "Kidd told us we have to stop being partners."

"What? Why?" Cody asked.

"Because they're a couple and that's regulation," Buck sighed.

"But Teaspoon probably knew about the two of you for ages, just like we did, and he never said anything," Ike questioned.

Jimmy shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. I know why he did it, I just don't understand it." He darted a gaze at Lou, checking if she was listening or not. "It feels spiteful," he said in a lower tone.

"What do you mean?" Noah asked.

"He means that Michael has an ulterior motive," Lou piped up, not changing her position by her desk.

"'Michael', uh?" Cody grinned. "Jimmy, did you know your girlfriend and the new boss are on first name basis?"

"Shut up, Cody," both Jimmy and Lou called.

Lou took her legs off the desk and came to where the boys sat not far away. There was no free chair, so she gratefully accepted Jimmy's offered knee. She sighed deeply before she continued.

"I know Michael from LA. We were partners on the job for a year, before we got too involved and we had to be assigned to different units."

"Involved how?" Cody needed more clarification.

"We were lovers, Cody," Lou blurted, exasperated. "We were engaged for a few weeks, but then something happened and I left him. I was expecting when I left, but I never told him."

"He's Zach's father?" Buck asked, though the answer was clear.

Lou nodded. "He only found out last night..."

"After Cody here opened his big mouth," Jimmy said, glaring at Cody.

"I'm sorry," Cody apologized. "How was I supposed to know it was a secret?"

"You weren't, Cody," Lou patted his knee. "It's ok. Actually I'm glad he finally knows. I thought of transferring so he wouldn't find out, but I'm glad I don't have to anymore."

"You were leaving?" Ike asked.

Lou nodded. "But I'm not anymore. Actually, I should probably go to talk to Teaspoon, ask him to withdraw the request." She rose, gave Jimmy a quick peck on the cheek and left.

The men all went to go about their business, but Noah approached Jimmy.

"How are you feeling about all this?" he asked his best friend.

Jimmy shrugged. "I always knew Zach had a father somewhere."

"Yeah, but now that he's here, your boss..."

"What do you want me to say, Noah? Of course I don't like it. I love that boy like he was my own." He looked down. "I hoped someday I'd marry Lou, adopt him legally, but that can't happen, now that Kidd's back in the picture."

"How 'in the picture' is he?" Noah asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"He has a beautiful fiancée," Jimmy pointed out. He looked sheepish and pleased, as he confided in Noah, "and today, Lou finally told me she loves me. I hope it's enough."

Noah nodded and squeezed Jimmy's shoulder. "I hope you're right."

Later that day Kidd approached Lou when he spotted her by herself at the kitchen area. "Hey." He greeted.

"Hey yourself," she answered, still a little upset about his decision to break her partnership with Jimmy.

He sighed and leaned against the counter. "Lou, I don't want to fight with you. I thought we reached some kind of understanding last night."

"We have, Michael," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, I still don't fully understand why you had to break Jimmy and me apart, but Jimmy seems to understand it, so I guess it's okay."

"Like I said, Lou, I didn't do it out of spite. Even when we were together we had to split and serve in different units."

Lou nodded, getting away and returning to her work area, unwelcome memories assaulting her as she walked.

"Kidd, Lou, will you step into my office?" Officer Sam Cain asked, standing at the door to his office.

Kidd and Lou exchanged looks before they headed into their supervisor's office.

"Have a seat," Sam offered as he sat behind his desk. He smiled at the young couple before him. They reminded him so much of himself and his wife, Emma, when they were their age. "Look, I want you to know that I personally don't have a problem with the fact that you are romantically involved," he started, smiling as he watched the two shifting in their seats uncomfortably. "The thing is, my superiors feel your relationship might become a distraction to you and the rest of your team."

"What?" Kidd cried out, standing up. "Sam, we never gave anyone a reason to feel distracted or uncomfortable."

"Kidd, sit down," Sam said calmly. "Like I said, I don't have a problem with the two of you as a couple, and so far your relationship hasn't been a liability, but I understand what my superiors are afraid of. I am sorry, but I have to break your partnership on the job."

"So, how's it going to happen?" Lou asked, taking a hold of Kidd's hand.

"Well, there's a new team in the planning, and we're changing the personnel within our team as well. For the time being, Lou, you'd be partnered with Josh, Kidd, you'd be partnered with Gregg."

"Is this final, Sam?" Kidd asked one more time, hoping he'd have a way to change Sam's decision.

"I'm afraid so, Kidd," Sam answered. "I'll call the rest of your team in half an hour and let everyone know." He rose, motioning that the conversation was finished.

The couple rose to their feet, their hands clasped together. They left Sam's office and Lou pulled Kidd to a secluded corridor. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest.

"I don't want to partner with Josh," she pouted. "I like working with you."

Kidd hugged her back and kissed her head. "I know, baby, me too, but you heard Sam, and I know it's not what you want to hear, but I can understand this."

Lou looked up in his eyes, feeling betrayed.

Kidd laughed at her face and kissed her lips lightly. "Besides, this way we'll miss each other more. Who knows, maybe it will be good for us..."

Lou leaned against the wall outside their work area. How wrong Michael had been... how much pain had resulted from that decision. She sighed and carried her coffee cup into the work area to make up for time lost that morning.

Chapter Six

The intercom in Kidd's apartment buzzed, and he held down the button. "Who is it?"

"It's me and Jimmy, Michael. And Zach," came the answer through the intercom.

Kidd pushed the button to open the front door. "Come on up," he said.

Kidd turned nervously to Samantha. "They're here," he said. Samantha nodded, and put her apron on. "Everything's ready," she said calmly. Kidd looked at his fiancée. She was looking effortlessly beautiful as always, with long curly dark hair pulled into a loose ponytail. She had on jeans and a blue high-necked sweater. Yet she looked like she had stepped out of a fashion magazine, though she had been fussing in the kitchen all afternoon.

The doorbell rang and Kidd opened it. Jimmy and Lou stood outside, Zach between them carrying a bakery box. "Hello, Jimmy, Lou. Zach," Kidd said, trying not to seem too nervous when talking to his son.

"I brought cake!" Zach said proudly, holding it out. Samantha, coming up behind Kidd, took his arm and smiled at the group graciously.

"Well you must be Zach! I'm Samantha. Did you say that's cake?"

Zach, charmed by the pretty woman, nodded shyly.

"Well, that's just wonderful, because I love cake," she said confidentially. Lou, looking Samantha over, doubted Samantha indulged in cake often. But she kept her mouth shut and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Lou, Jimmy. Come in, please," Samantha said smoothly.

They moved into the apartment, and Samantha suggested they go into the kitchen. "Can I get you two a drink before dinner? You look like a beer man, Jimmy, am I right?"

"Been known to have one now and then," Jimmy said.

"Well, there's plenty in the fridge, just make yourself at home. Lou, what can I get you and Zach?" She moved closer to Lou, whispering, "I have bottled water, chocolate milk and regular, and apple juice. If he doesn't like those, I can run down to the bodega and get something else."

"Thanks, Samantha. He drinks water between meals, milk with his dinner. I'll get him some," she offered. "Is there anything I can do to help you with dinner?"

"Well, we're all going to be doing that. Zach, how would you like to make pizzas tonight?" Samantha said.

"Yeah!" Zach enthused.

"Well, let's all sit down and make pizzas then," Samantha said, bringing out pre-baked pizza shells and placing them at the ready.

"Uncle Jimmy, you sit next to me," Zach ordered. "Mama on the other side."

Samantha and Kidd sat on the other side of the table, and Samantha removed her rings and put them in her pocket as they began assembling pizzas.

The five sat companionably around the table, making pizzas and small talk. Samantha subtly observed Jimmy and Lou. She noted that Jimmy was handsome, and had a rugged kind of sex appeal that was palpable. He adored Lou, Samantha saw at a glance. Turning her eyes on Lou, Samantha found herself a little baffled, which was unusual for her. There was a wall there... a set of defenses... but exactly what lay behind that Samantha couldn't immediately discern. Lou was small-boned and delicate looking, with beautiful skin, wide, doe-like eyes, and shoulder-length straight hair. But Samantha detected both strength and vulnerability there.

Zach asked, "How come you took off your rings, Samantha?"

Spreading sauce on her pizza, Samantha smiled. "Because with all these toppings and things, it could get messy, Zach."

"Can I see your rings?" Zach asked.

"Sure, if you want," Samantha said. She handed two rings across the table to Zach. One was a large engagement ring; the other was a gold ring with a letter V and a letter C imprinted on top of each other.

"What's this?" Zach said. "VC?"

"Vassar College," Samantha replied. "Where I went to college."

"This one? It's pretty," he persisted, pointing to the diamond.

Samantha said, "Oh, that's a ring Michael gave me."

"Look, Mommy. Isn't it pretty?" Zach handed it to Lou, who sat with it in her hand a moment before nodding, whispering "yes," and glancing up at Kidd briefly.

Kidd caught his breath, just a moment. She'd looked like that when... when I proposed to her... His mind went back five years to a warm night in Paris, when they had met up after completing different missions. He'd taken her for a walk along the Seine, and it had started raining, but they'd been so lost in love they didn't mind. They'd kissed in the rain, leaning against a lamp post, and he'd slipped the ring into her hand. She'd looked up with those impossibly big eyes, and whispered her answer. He'd slipped the ring onto her finger, and they'd melted together as the rain streamed down over their faces. Kidd's heart constricted as he remembered how happy he had been at that moment. He'd left for the U.S. on another mission the next morning, after making love to her for hours at their hotel in Paris, and kissing her sleepy face goodbye the next morning. He'd never seen her again until the other day in the office. And he'd never been that happy again, he realized.

Samantha slipped the ring back on her finger. Lou's and Kidd's expressions hadn't escaped her notice, but she gave no sign of it. Brightly, she said, "OK, is everybody done decorating their pizzas?"

"Well, it's been a nice evening, but I'd better get Zach home," Lou said, as the clock struck ten. "It's way past his bedtime."

Samantha looked at Kidd, then said quickly, "Zach, would you like to come into my room for a minute? Michael and I had a few books that we wanted to give you to take home, but we forgot about it in all the fun." She took the boy by the hand and led him into the back room.

Kidd looked after them, then turned to Jimmy and Lou. "It was a nice evening. I hope you see Zach will be fine coming over here... and I hope we can decide when to tell him I'm his dad soon."

Lou hesitated. "Samantha seems really good with him," she said. "It's... it's very hard for me to..." she swallowed hard.

"I understand how you must feel, Lou, and I'm willing to be reasonable. But... let's try to work something out soon. Maybe right after this next mission?"

Lou nodded. "Have you given any thought on how to reconfigure that, now that... now that Jimmy and I can't be partnered in the field anymore?"

"I figure the easiest way is to bring in another female agent to replace you, Lou, and put you in the van on surveillance."

Lou sighed. "Who do you have in mind?"

"Rosemary Burke is supposed to be really good, how do you feel about partnering with her for this mission, Jimmy?"

"Fine," said Jimmy, looking at Lou nervously. She raised an eyebrow. Rosemary and Jimmy had a history too; Jimmy had been quite a ladies' man before becoming involved with Lou. "If she's okay with it, that is."

"I'll set it up, then," Kidd said. "Thanks for coming tonight," he added, as Samantha came back in with Zach, carrying two new picture books.

Jimmy drove his car, sneaking glances at the woman beside him. He knew the night was hard on her, and the thought of having to share her son was very hard for her.

"That Samantha seems to be okay, at least," Jimmy started, attempting to make a conversation.

"I guess," Lou shrugged.

"I like her," Zach piped up from his chair at the back seat, "she's beautiful."

Lou's face fell even more at her own child's genuine comment.

"She's not half as beautiful as you," Jimmy said, squeezing her thigh affectionately.

"Mama, did you see the ring Michael gave her?" Zach asked, oblivious to the discomfort his question caused Lou.

"Yes, honey, I did."

"When I'm big enough I'll buy you a ring just like that," the child said determinedly.

Tears sprung into Lou's eyes and she shared a tender look with Jimmy.

They reached Lou's building and Jimmy stopped the car by the sidewalk.

"Aren't you coming up?" Lou asked surprised. Since they declared their love, they had spent every night together.

"I'm kinda tired tonight, Lou," he said sheepishly.

"We don't have to... you know..." she said awkwardly, glancing behind at Zach. "I would just like to spend the night with you."

Jimmy watched her, his heart bursting with love for her. "Tell you what," he started after a moment. "You go up and I'll just go to my place to grab a change of clothes for tomorrow. I'll be back in forty minutes."

Lou nodded and pulled her set of keys from her pocket. She took off one of the keys and handed it to Jimmy. "Here, take this," she said, averting her eyes from his. "Um, you can keep it."

Jimmy let out a short hearty laugh. "Hey, Lou, slow down. Next thing you'll find yourself asking me to move in."

"Yes," Zach cheered from the back. "Uncle Jimmy's moving in with us."

Lou darted a small glance at him and saw he was not mocking her but, in fact, hoping she would. "Well, maybe you should," she said with a mischievous smile.

"You're not joking, are you?" Jimmy asked hopefully.

Lou leaned and kissed him softly on his lips. "No," she answered, "I'm not joking. I would like it if you'd move in with us."

Jimmy pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. "I'll grab some things from my place now and come over. We'll get the rest of my stuff later."

Lou nodded and opened her door. "I'll see you in forty minutes then," she said as she got out of the car.

Lou opened the door to her apartment and let Kidd in. He stepped into the living room and looked around awkwardly.

"Glad you're finally here, that must have been some accident you got caught behind," Lou said nervously. "You're over half an hour late."

Kidd's eyes fell on some taped cardboard boxes in the corner. "Packing up?" he asked suspiciously.

"No," sighed Lou. "They're Jimmy's. He's moving in. And I'm expecting him any minute, so let's get Zach if you want to tell him before Jimmy gets back."

Kidd turned quickly as Lou left the room to get Zach, hoping she didn't notice his pained reaction. Jimmy was moving in, taking his place in Lou's life, their son's life. He felt a pang of resentment, but then realized. He didn't deserve any better. He'd hurt Lou terribly, and worse, he hadn't fought for her. Maybe if he had tried, things would have turned out different.

Looking idly over Lou's bookshelves, he remembered how he'd felt when he came back from that God-awful assignment when he'd used sex to get information. He'd never felt so low in his life, even though the operation was a success as a result. He'd been dreading facing her, having to tell her what he'd had to lower himself to do... tell her he'd given himself to someone else, for whatever reason. He didn't know if she could forgive him for that. But he knew he could never look in her honest brown eyes and lie about it. He'd come in to their apartment and found she'd removed all traces of herself from the apartment. All but her engagement ring, left carefully in the middle of the coffee table. No note, no explanation, nothing.

He had made a half-hearted effort to find her, of course. He'd called her mother, a lovely woman who'd always seemed to like him before; but she had coldly told him that Louise had moved away and wanted nothing to do with him again. He checked with some of her friends; none could or would tell him where she was. But he dropped it at that. Certainly, if he'd made a serious effort, he might have found her... the agency's resources would have made that possible, if he'd chosen to look into it. She'd kept working for the agency in another state; he never even tried to find out if she had left the agency entirely or just relocated.

Why hadn't he looked harder? At the time, he believed she had decided she didn't love him after all, and had just taken off. Feeling as low as he did about himself at that time, he couldn't picture tracking her down, when she clearly wanted nothing to do with him... and then have to tell her what he had done to top it off. If only he had fought for her, he thought. If only, then he might be living with Lou and their child now.

As he stood staring blindly at her bookshelves, lost in regrets, Lou cleared her throat behind him. He turned and smiled at his little boy. "Hi Zach," he said.

Zach nodded back, "Hello, Michael." He looked at his mother and Kidd, with their serious faces, and a worried pucker formed between his eyes. Lou tried to look lighthearted to reassure him.

"Sit down, Zachy. We have something really cool to tell you," she said brightly.

The boy sat on the couch, sneakered feet sticking out in front of him. He looked uncertainly between Kidd, seated on his left, and Lou on his right.

"You know how I told you about your dad, in California?" she asked carefully. Zach nodded. "Well, Zach, Michael is your dad. And he's moved here to Washington and... and he's going to be getting to know you. Isn't that exciting?"

Kidd looked hopefully at Zach, who looked dubiously at him. "Okay," Zach said.

Lou looked a little awkwardly at Kidd. "Well, Zach, do you have any questions or... or anything?"

"No."

Kidd fumbled for something to say. "Well, I was hoping maybe you might like to call me Dad, now that... now that..." he trailed off, uncertain.

"Okay, I'll call you Dad." The boy seemed to lose interest in the conversation; and at that moment, the door opened and someone came in the apartment.

"Uncle Jimmy's here! He's here!" Zach shrieked, jumping down and running to the hall. In a mirror on the living room wall, Lou and Kidd could see Jimmy bending to catch the boy in his arms and rise up to throw him in the air.

"There's my buddy!" Jimmy laughed. "How ya doin' roomie?"

Zach chortled with excitement, clinging to Jimmy. "I'm great, Uncle Jimmy! Are you going to be here all the time now?"

"I'm all moved in, buddy. This is the last of it. And I got you something since this is a special day. Movin' in day." Jimmy produced a child-sized Redskins jersey. "Try it on, buddy," he said affectionately.

"It's just like yours, Uncle Jimmy! Like you wore when we went to see the game! Can we go again and I can wear mine too?"

Jimmy laughed. "You bet, pal. I got season passes for us and your mom all set, soon as the season starts up."

The little boy cheered, excitedly, and Jimmy lifted him on his shoulders to carry him in.

Reaching the entrance to the living room, Jimmy paused, awkwardly, at the sight of Kidd.

"Look at us, Mama! We match!" Zach shouted.

Jimmy shifted uncomfortably. "Am I early?" he said awkwardly.

"No, Jimmy. But I guess you have some unpacking to do... and I'd be glad to help. Maybe Zach would like to go to the park with... with Daddy, and have dinner and ice cream after?" Lou suggested.

"Can you and Uncle Jimmy come too?" Zach asked.

"Not this time, honey," Lou said firmly. "You and - and Dad go on ahead."

Kidd took Zach's hand and looked at Lou gratefully. The two went out the door, and Lou turned to Jimmy.

"Well, that's that," she said, hurriedly.

"You okay?" Jimmy asked.

Lou nodded, but Jimmy pulled her into his arms. "You sure?"

She rested her head on Jimmy's chest, sighing. "I'll have to be. This is how it's going to be, I guess." She pulled away and went into the kitchen. Jimmy headed to the shower, and soon she heard the water running.

Turning to the sink, she sighed. Jimmy wasn't much of a housekeeper. In fact, at his own place he had a maid who came in three days a week to clean up after him, and sent out his laundry. Lou noticed that he had only been here two days and already had started piling glasses and dishes in the sink as if he expected a maid to come and clean up after him here as well. She looked grimly at them, and resolved to have a little talk with Mr. Hickok about this. As she tended to the dishes, she heard the water stop and went to the hallway to mention it to him. She caught her breath at the sight of him walking from the bathroom to the bedroom, a towel hung low... very low, on his hips. She reflected as she stood staring after him, that there were certainly plenty of benefits to having Jimmy around. She'd be patient about the messes... and maybe it would be a good idea to have some help around the house like Jimmy did. Tossing the dishtowel onto the table behind her, she raced into the bedroom behind Jimmy, and surprised him by snatching the towel from him mischievously.

"That's better," she chortled, running and jumping onto and over the bed in an effort to keep the towel out of his reach. He cut her off as she rounded the bed and wrestled her playfully to the bed.

"Say Uncle!! Uncle Jimmy!! Say it!" he said, pinning her down. She shook her head, helpless with laughter as he tickled her. He leaned down and kissed her, deliberately. Lou lifted her hand and stroked his damp face. The moment was broken when the front door opened again and shut.

"Theresa," Lou whispered, and Jimmy, still naked as a jaybird, jumped off frantically. Lou went to the open bedroom door, shutting it behind her.

"Hi, Theresa," Lou said, as Theresa placed her knapsack on the table. "How was school today?"

"Fine," Theresa said. "Get caught in the rain?"

Lou looked down at her damp clothes.

"Never mind," grinned Theresa. She flung herself into a recliner and clicked on the television. Jimmy came out of the bedroom dressed in sweat pants and a T-shirt. "Hey, Theresa," he said. She nodded back, "Hi Jimmy."

Lou had seated herself on the couch, and Jimmy spread out on the couch beside her, resting his head on her lap comfortably. Lou absently ran her fingers through Jimmy's hair as they watched the news. Looking over at them, Theresa rolled her eyes and got up. "I'm going to my room," she said.

"Okay," Jimmy said absently, still watching CNN. But Lou tapped Jimmy to let her up and followed Theresa to her room.

Standing in the doorway, Lou paused a minute. "Theresa, is something wrong?"

"Nothing. It's your apartment after all, you're entitled to do what you want in it."

Lou looked down. "Theresa..." she came into the room and shut the door. "I know I invited Jimmy to live here kind of spur of the moment, and I should have consulted you first. This is your home too; but I thought you liked Jimmy," she said anxiously.

Theresa looked up guiltily. "I do, Lou. You two have been going together for three years, for heaven's sake. I'm 18 years old, in college. There's no reason you shouldn't have a life of your own after all you've been through, all you've done for me. I... I think that maybe I should move on and grow up a little too. I'd still be glad to help you with Zach whenever you need me to, but maybe I should think about moving to the dorms next semester."

"Is that what you want? Because I can talk to Jimmy if there's something we're doing that makes you uncomfortable -"

Theresa shook her head. "It's not that, Lou. I just think maybe it's time for me to give living at school a try. It might get a little crowded in here with four people. But I meant what I said, anything you need with Zach, don't hesitate. And I won't be leaving until I get a roommate at the start of the next semester, and that's a few months off."

Lou's eyes misted over. "I'll miss you, though, Tessie," she said.

Theresa laughed. "I go to college in the same city, I'll be spending summers here, and I will be babysitting for you just the same, Lou. It's not the end of the world. I'm just growing up," she chuckled