AN: Big thanks to Lisa and Shannon for putting up with an angsty writer taking it out on her beloved characters, and to Kathleen for reminding me that this is the PE bunch, NOT the Brady Bunch!
Part 1
Jimmy watched from behind as Lou continued to rub the area her neck where the rope had left its mark. She'd been doing it off and on since they left Willow Springs, usually when she thought he wasn't looking.
"I'm sorry Lou," he said riding up beside her and shaking his head. When they started on this trip, the last thing he had wanted was to cause her more pain than what Kid had already put her through. He never imagined the physical pain she would suffer because of him.
Lou realized she had been rubbing her neck again and stopped. "For someone who only apologizes on Sunday, you're sure doing a lot of it today. I'm fine. It doesn't even bother me anymore."
"Then why do you keep rubbin' the rope burns when you think I'm not watchin' you? You're just makin' the area redder. Maybe Rachel will have somethin' to put on them when we get back."
Lou nodded. "Despite what happened Jimmy, I did have a good time these past few days. The dinner, the dancin', the fair... it made me forget everything. I'd do it again if we had the chance."
"I know you would which is why we can't."
Lou stopped Lightning and stared at Jimmy. "Why not? I thought you enjoyed yourself too."
Jimmy heard the disappointment in Lou's voice and turned Sundance back towards her.
"It ain't that Lou, I did enjoy our time together."
"Then why? Is there something wrong with me?"
"You mean other than the fact you ain't like the rest of us?" Jimmy chuckled but stopped when he saw the look Lou was sending him. He knew better than to cross her when she was like this.
"Let's just say that when I realized that you had been kidnapped and then when I saw you on the end of that rope, I finally understood why Kid's always tryin' to keep you safe."
Jimmy didn't want to admit he'd never been so scared in all his life when he thought she was going to die. The last thing Lou needed right now in her vulnerable state was to learn how deep his feelings for her truly were.
"I should've known you weren't any different from Kid," Lou said angrily as she spurred Lightning into a gallop. She had thought Jimmy was different. He'd always treated her as an equal, not something that was fragile like a china doll.
"Lou, wait," he said trying to catch up to her, but she was going too fast. He tried keeping up but knew it was hopeless. When Lou was determined nothing stood in her way, and right now she was determined to get as far away from him as possible.
Within the hour they had arrived back at the Sweetwater station. Cody and Kid were waiting by the barn when they arrived. Lou dismounted and hurried Lightning inside to brush him down. She wanted to do it quickly and get as far away from both Kid and Jimmy as she could.
"Boy, did you guys miss some excitement around here," Cody chatted away, not noticing the tension.
"Shut up, Cody," Kid spat. "What took you guys so long? We expected you back the day before yesterday."
"The shipment was delayed so we had to wait for it," Jimmy said, not wanting to let them know what really happened.
"You really missed it. Kid here was willin' to duel..."
"I said shut up, Cody!" Kid wasn't ready to talk about what happened with Samantha especially with Lou around. He noticed Lou rubbing her neck and noticed the red marks. "Lou, you okay?"
Lou looked up from brushing Lightning and realized she'd been rubbing her neck again. "Yeah, I'm fine. Guess I got a rash somewhere. Finish up here for me, will ya? I'm going to see if Rachel has something I can put on it," Lou said handing Kid the brush and left the barn.
"Jimmy, what happened in Willow Creek?"
"Nothin', Kid. It was your typical run," Jimmy said not looking up from his task.
Kid grabbed the brush from Jimmy and looked at him. "Then why is Lou's neck red? Looks like she's got rope burns."
"You lost the right to be concerned about Lou when you took up with Samantha, Kid."
"If you hurt her..."
Jimmy turned and faced an angry Kid. "Oh trust me Kid, she enjoyed every minute we were together. 'Specially when we were dancin'. I never knew she was so good at it. I can't believe you gave that up for someone you just met. Was Samantha just as passionate, or did Lou just let loose because she was with a real man?" Jimmy knew he was crossing a line, but he was beyond caring.
Kid lunged for Jimmy knocking him to the ground. The two riders tumbled around throwing punches at each other. Cody stood back and shook his head. He wasn't sure if he should go get Teaspoon or sit back and watch.
"Kid," Cody said, trying to find a way to interfere without getting hurt. "Don't you think you've risked your life enough for a woman this week?"
"What's goin' on here?" Lou said entering the barn. "Cody, what are you talkin' about?"
Teaspoon, having heard a commotion, followed Lou and crossed over to the fighting pair. "Cody, just don't stand there gawkin', help me break this up."
The two tried prying the pair apart without much luck. Kid and Jimmy kept lunging for each other. Lou stood there shocked as she watched the two men she cared for try to kill each other. When Teaspoon and Cody couldn't keep them apart, she grabbed a bucket of water and threw it over them.
"Damn it, Lou!" Jimmy said scrambling to get up. "What'd ya do that for?"
"Lou, what happened in Willow Spring? How'd ya get those rope burns on your neck?" Kid stayed lying on the ground but looked up at her.
"What did Cody mean by you risked your life enough for a woman this week?" She replied back with anger and jealousy all rolled into one.
"Kid got into a duel over Samantha with..." Cody said with a grin.
"Cody, ain't you got some work that needs to doin?" Teaspoon said, cutting him off. Teaspoon had had enough. He knew first hand about the duel, but now as he looked closer at the female rider, he noticed Kid was right. Those were definitely rope burns.
"Okay, all three of you right now, let's go," he said, grabbing Jimmy and Kid by their arms with a little too much force.
"Where Teaspoon? We got chores to do," Jimmy asked, hoping they weren't going where he thought they were.
"Well seein' as how Cody can't keep his nose out of other people's business, he's gonna take care of all of your business. And since you guys are already a little hot under the collar, you won't mind if the four of us go have a chat in the sweat lodge. Now move!"
"But Teaspoon..." all three complained in unison.
"Don't 'But Teaspoon' me. The sooner the three of you work this out, the sooner you can get on with other things. Now go!"
Part 2
"Teaspoon, this ain't fair," Lou complained, as she sat in her full long johns with her arms crossed over her chest. "You said I ain't allowed in here no more since I was a girl."
"I know it, and I'm sorry. But the three of you been actin' and carryin' on and such these past few weeks, and it's gotta stop before someone gets seriously hurt," he said as he looked in Lou's direction. "Or has it already?"
Lou looked away from Teaspoon. The heat was making her neck itch even more and she had to sit on her hands to keep from scratching the raw area.
"The fact is you three have been so blinded by your own emotions, you ain't seein' what its doin' to the others." The three riders remained silent knowing he was right. "So who wants to start?"
"I wanna know how Lou got those rope burns," Kid said at the same time Lou said, "What's this about a duel?"
"Well, looks like we'll start with you two. Now Kid, I know you were upset because Lou said no to your proposal..." Both riders looked at Teaspoon questioningly. "Yeah, I know about that. We all do. Now son, you were hurtin' somethin' fierce, 'specially when you thought somethin' was goin' on with Lou and Jimmy, and that you wanted to make her as jealous as you were."
"But Teaspoon, nothing..." Jimmy started.
Teaspoon looked at Jimmy. "Now son, I'll get to you in a minute. Kid, you were on what they call a rebound. You fell hard and fast for the first pretty thing you saw. I know what that's like. That's how I found myself married a third time. Now the fact that she came from the South didn't help matters much either."
Kid nodded. "Guess so."
"Well the way you were carryin' on about her was upsettin' Lou. Made her think you never cared about her, which we all know ain't true. Now Lou, you should know by now how boys talk, 'specially these boys. You been around 'em long enough not to be believin' everything they're sayin', even when it comes to matters of the heart. Am I right?"
"It was different this time Teaspoon," Lou said tears forming in her eyes. "I was doin' my chores when I heard Cody and Noah talkin' 'bout Kid actin' weird in town earlier that day. Then when I go to get my coat, I hear Kid sayin' those things and I put it together. He had moved on; I had to accept it. That didn't mean I had to like it."
"It was your choice to end things. What was I supposed to do?"
"You didn't have to throw it in her face." Jimmy yelled. "You coulda had the decency to at least let her hear about it from you instead of hearing Cody go off like he normally does."
"He's right Kid," Lou agreed. "And why aren't you out with Samantha now? If she means so much to you, why aren't you out there courtin' her now?"
"I was worried when you guys didn't come back on time," Kid said, hoping they didn't realize that was only partially true.
"Kid?" Teaspoon said. "That ain't the only reason, now is it?"
Kid shook his head and mumbled, "She left already. She was in love with someone else, he died, end of story."
Teaspoon gave Kid a stern look. "You know that ain't the end of the story. You wanna tell them, or do you want me too?"
When Kid remained silent, Teaspoon continued. "You called someone out for the love of a woman. Lou has a right to know you were willin' to lay your life on the line for someone else."
"Why? It's not like I haven't done it for Lou a hundred times."
Teaspoon shook his head. "The difference is you knew Samantha only for a coupla days. Yet you were gonna duel for her love. You didn't think how it would affect everyone else if things had come out different, now did you?"
Kid shook his head again. He looked over at Lou and saw the anger in her eyes.
"I can't believe you'd do somethin' so stupid!" Lou hollered. She wanted to reach out and slap him. Of all the times she and Kid had argued over her risking her life, she had been risking it while she worked. He was risking it for his pride.
"Guess I didn't care." What he really wanted to say was that if he couldn't have Lou, his life wasn't worth living.
"Besides, she and Jimmy..."
"Just 'cause you see me talkin' to Jimmy, doesn't mean something's goin' on there either."
"Damn it, Kid! When you gonna start believin' nothin' happened between us when you were together?"
Teaspoon shook his head. "Kid, he's right; you saw what you wanted to see. You know both of them better than that. Even if there is somethin' there, neither one of them would have done somethin' while you and Lou were together."
"As soon you got the chance though..." Kid argued, as he looked first at Jimmy then and Teaspoon. "Jimmy told me in the barn that he and Lou danced on this run together."
Lou looked over at Jimmy, her face growing bright red. "You told him what?"
"Well we did," Jimmy said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "Just not in the way I may have suggested."
"I can't believe either one of you! I am not some plaything!" Lou took a deep breath and counted to ten trying to calm down. It didn't work. "Kid, I was miserable after hearing what you said about our relationship. Since we had to wait an extra day for the notes, Jimmy took me out to dinner. Made me feel appreciated as a woman. Afterwards on our way to the fair, there was a man playing music in the streets. Jimmy asked me to dance."
"Then how'd you get those marks on your neck?" Kid said, knowing there was more to the story.
"I'd like to know that too," Teaspoon said, sending Jimmy a questioning look.
"I let my guard down. Lou got caught in the middle of it," Jimmy mumbled, looking down at the ground. "She wound up in a noose meant for me."
Lou shook her head. "It wasn't your fault Jimmy. You didn't know."
"You think that makes it easier? When I saw you hangin' from that tree..."
"Damn it, Jimmy!" Kid exploded. "Ain't no one safe around you. She coulda been killed."
"I know that! But she wasn't; she's safe and it ain't gonna happen again."
"It shouldn't have happened this time," Kid growled.
Jimmy looked Kid straight in the eye, his anger mirroring the anger he saw in his best friend's. "You think I don't know that? Even if I did have feelings for Lou, which I ain't sayin' I do, what kind of life could I offer her? Someone's always gonna be comin' for 'Wild Bill' and they'll get to me any way the can."
Teaspoon knew Jimmy was holding back on his feelings, and for once he was glad. It was obvious to everyone that Jimmy's feelings were very strong for the female rider and were similar to those of his best friend. Both men loved the same woman, and even though they were both too stubborn to admit it, Lou would be the one to suffer most of all.
"Lou, do you have anything else to add?" When she shook her head, Teaspoon continued. "How 'bout the way Kid's been treatin' you?"
She looked over at Kid and sighed. "He's always treated me like a girl. Tried protectin' me, and once we started, well once we got closer, it was even worse."
"Just didn't want nothing to happen to ya is all," Kid said looking at her with a worried look.
"You were tryin' to keep me from doin' my job. I'd already proven I could handle it better than most of you boys could."
"She's got ya there Kid," Jimmy said.
"Ya ain't helpin' Jimmy," Kid replied getting angry.
"Lou, what about now?" Teaspoon asked. The sooner the two faced their feelings, the sooner they could get past this. "How does knowin' Kid was with another girl make you feel?"
"If that's what he wants then fine," she lied. "Just didn't think he'd find someone to replace me so soon."
Kid looked at Lou and saw the pain in her eyes. He knew he'd hurt her by seeing Samantha, but he felt like she had tossed him away.
"I didn't think you'd care," Kid said shaking his head. "I thought you didn't love me anymore."
Teaspoon had had enough. The three of them weren't going to work it out anytime soon. "Enough! If you three can't get along and do your jobs, then we'll have to make some changes 'round here, understood?"
All three riders nodded. They knew he was serious, and the thought of any of them having to leave was incomprehensible.
Part 3
Over the next few weeks, the three riders tried to avoid each other. During meals, conversation was kept to a polite minimum, Kid was taking extra runs, Jimmy was doing more chores, and Lou would spend as much time at the main house with Rachel as she could.
"Lou, you know I don't mind you helpin'," Rachel started as the pair continued to hang laundry on the line. "But don't you think this is gettin' old? You have to talk to them sooner or later?"
Lou sighed. "I don't know Rachel. Seems they don't want to talk to me that much either."
"What about Kid?"
"He's never around anymore. Even if he was... Well, things just ain't the same."
"You still love him don't you?"
"Just 'cause I'm not ready to get married, doesn't mean I don't still love him. I guess a part of me always will. 'Sides he's already moved on."
Rachel nodded. "And Jimmy?"
"Even Jimmy is avoiding me. It's like he's scared I'll get hurt if he even talks to me. I miss their friendship, Rachel. I miss sharin' my days, my nights, my hopes and dreams with Kid, and I miss bein' able to go to Jimmy when Kid drives me crazy when he gets too overprotective. I love them both so much in different ways and its killin' me inside that we're like this now."
Rachel knew that letting Lou know that Kid had confided in her something similar a few days earlier wouldn't help. The three needed to work this out themselves.
Just then the two women heard the familiar "Rider Comin'" from Jimmy who had been on the porch of the bunkhouse most of the day cleaning his guns. They turned to see Kid arrive. Lou watched as Kid dismounted and then led Katy in to the barn.
"See? He usually would come and talk to me or at least wave. He didn't even say anything to Jimmy."
"You could always go to him. Tell him what you just told me."
Lou shook her head. "I can't, Rachel."
"Lou, what happened in Willow Springs between you and Jimmy that you aren't tellin' me?"
As Lou went on to tell Rachel everything that had happened, Kid exited the barn and walked towards the bunkhouse.
"Lou talkin' to Rachel again?" Kid asked as he stood in front of Jimmy.
"She's been spendin' a lot of time with her lately," Jimmy replied nonchalantly. "Since you ain't been around much, you wouldn't know that, now would you?"
"Damn it, Jimmy. I'm sick of all this arguin'," Kid stormed into the bunkhouse slamming the door behind him.
Noah had been sitting on his bunk and jumped at the noise. "Now what's wrong?"
"Jimmy started in on me again about bein' gone so much," Kid said, crossing to the table by the sink and pouring himself a cup of water. "You think he'd be happy I was gone. He could have Lou to himself as much as he wanted and wouldn't have to worry about what I thought."
"Kid," Noah warned, shaking his head. It was the same story every time Kid came back. None of the riders had a clue as to what brought on his jealousy; Lou and Jimmy were hardly talking to each other.
"I'm sorry Noah," Kid apologized as he crossed back towards his bunk.
Noah just nodded as he left the bunkhouse.
As Kid lay on his bunk staring up at Lou's, images of Lou in Jimmy's arms dancing flashed through his mind. He shouldn't care; she had every right to move on. He just never imagined she would so quickly and with a man he considered a brother.
When Lou had turned down his proposal, she had broken his heart. Without her he wasn't complete. For some reason, he thought maybe Samantha would make him feel whole again. But he realized after she left that no one but Lou would ever do that.
Kid knew everyone was right. He knew deep down that Jimmy had feelings for Lou, but he never would have done anything while Kid and Lou were together, but things were different now.
His hurt pride may have sent him in to the arms of Samantha, but his jealousy may have sent Lou in to the arms of Jimmy.
Noah found Jimmy fixing a loose board on the corral. "Need some help?"
Jimmy stopped hammering and looked up. "Nope, just about got it, thanks."
"Jimmy, how long are the three of you gonna avoid each other? Nobody blames you for what happened back in Willow Springs."
"I do. Look, I know you're just tryin' to help, but there's nothin' to talk about."
"Wouldn't be so sure about that." Jimmy looked at Noah and shook his head. "If Lou doesn't blame you, why should you?"
Jimmy took a deep breath and sighed. "How many times do I have to say it? She could've been killed 'cause of me. I always thought she could hold her own with the rest of us, but when I saw her at the end of that noose... I'll never forgive myself for that, just as I know nobody would've forgiven me if something had happened to her. How can I look at her or at Kid again when I can't even look at myself?"
"Have you told Lou how you feel about her?" At Jimmy's surprised look, Noah continued. "You wouldn't be this upset about it if you didn't care for her."
"Of course I care about her. She's family."
Noah glanced at him with a look telling Jimmy he wasn't fooling anyone.
"Look... even if I did, she deserves someone that can give her a future. A chance for a life that's better than what she's had 'til now. You know as well as I do, I ain't gonna be able to give her that. Kid can."
"What if she doesn't want it from him anymore? What if he doesn't want it from her?"
Jimmy watched as Lou walked from the main house to the barn. He saw Kid walk out from the bunkhouse and towards the barn, as if he'd been watching for her.
"Then that's their decision to make," he said, nodding his head towards the barn. "Don't you have a run to get ready for?" Jimmy was done talking about him and Lou. He was starting to know how Kid felt after everyone would tease him about Lou.
"No, Lou asked if she could take it."
~~ ** ~~
Lou led Lightning from his stall and started to get him ready for their run. Her talk with Rachel left her just as frustrated as before. Rachel advised her to take the time on this run to think things over.
"Goin' somewhere?" Kid asked, startling Lou. She turned to see him entering the barn.
"Have a run."
Kid walked over and held Lightning as Lou put on the saddle. "Thought Noah was up next."
Lou let out a frustrated sigh. "I asked him if I could take it instead. Is that ok with you?"
Kid nodded. "Yeah, I was just hopin' we could talk, that's all."
"Like we've been talkin'?" Lou saw a flash of hurt in his blue eyes and felt guilty. "I'm sorry. Can it wait until I get back?"
"Sure Lou. Be careful. With the governor orderin' Pike to be brought here so Teaspoon can take him to Fort Laramie, who knows what kind of danger could be out there."
Lou smiled as she heard the concern in his voice and for once she wasn't annoyed. He wasn't being overprotective; he was treating her like it was any of the others riding out. "What? You ain't gonna try to talk me out of going?"
Kid chuckled. "Would it make a difference?" Lou shook her head as both riders exited the barn. Kid held Lightning while Lou mounted up.
"Rider Comin'!" Buck called from the bunkhouse.
Kid placed his hands over Lou's on the saddle horn. "Ride safe Lou and I'll see ya when you get back."
Lou looked down and smiled at Kid as she spurred Lightning. Kid headed towards the bunkhouse to get ready for supper.
~~ ** ~~
The next day, the riders with the exception of Ike and Lou were sitting in the bunkhouse when Teaspoon entered.
"We've got problems, boys," he said as he tossed the silver hair comb on the table. "Pike's got Amanda."