A/N: This is NOT my typical story. Originally the muses wanted just the sad ending, but me being me, decided to have two endings. The sad ending and then my typical Cheesy ending. At the end of the main part of the story, you'll be given the choice which one you want to read.

Chapter 1

Kid lay beside Lou and held her tight. He loved her so much and it seemed the only times he could tell her was during these stolen moments in the hayloft. And even those were becoming few and far between lately.

"I love you, Lou," he said, resting his head on her shoulder.

Lou just nodded, unsure what to say. Since the day in the pond, Kid had become more possessive, more overprotective and it scared her. Not physically, of course; he didn't have it in him to hurt her physically, but emotionally. He'd brought the subject of marriage up several more times since then, but she'd always change the subject. She tried slowly backing away, but it was times like this that made it hard. But today was different.

"You've never done that before," she said quietly. She felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled.

"Uh, Lou, we've been doin' this for a few months now."

Lou turned to face him. "That's not what I mean. I meant you've never..." She blushed trying to find the right words. "You've always... taken precautions before," she said softly, biting her bottom lip.

Kid nodded in understanding. "I guess I just couldn't help it. We've both had back to back runs lately and it's been so long. You make me lose control sometimes and it just happened." He grinned playfully as he kissed the tip of her nose. He was silently praying she wasn't mad at him.

Lou pulled out of his arms and stood as she reached for her clothes to quickly start dressing. "We just need to be more careful. We don't need any... complications right now."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" He asked sitting up and taking her hand, trying to get her to turn and face him. "Lou, you know how I feel. I love you, and want to have a future with you. A future with marriage, children..."

"I want all of that too, but someday. Not now, Kid. Neither one of us are ready for that responsibility."

He watched her climb down the ladder and sighed. He was ready for that responsibility, especially now that he feared he was losing her. He knew his plan was wrong, but he was getting to the point where he'd do anything to keep her, and he had finally settled on desperate measures.

~~~ *~* ~~~

Lou knocked on Rachel's door and waited to be called in. She was about to leave and come back later when she finally heard Rachel's voice and the door open. v "Louise, sorry, I didn't hear you at first." She noticed the look in the young woman's eyes and immediately stepped aside. "Come on in. Are you okay?"

Lou entered Rachel's house and shrugged. "I'm not sure, Rachel. Can we talk?" Lou began to get nervous. "Or if you're too busy..."

Rachel shook her head as she led her friend into the living room. "Have a seat. So what do you want to talk about?"

Lou sat down and buried her face in her hands, trying to fight back the tears. "Kid did something he's never done before and I'm worried..."

Rachel immediately sat down next to Lou, worry etched on her face. "What did he do?" Rachel asked, the concern evident in her voice. She never imagined Kid could do any of the things running through her mind right now. "Did he force..."

"NO!" Lou yelled. "No... He'd never..." The tears finally fell as she admitted to Rachel what had happened in the hayloft. "What if..."

"You get pregnant?"

Lou nodded.

"Honey, you can get pregnant even if he doesn't do that – just by the two of you dancin'."

"I know, but we've just been so careful. Things between us lately have been so... I don't know... strained. I've tried putting distance between us, tried not being so close, but..."

"Don't you love him anymore?"

"Yes!" she said too sharply. "I guess... I don't know," she finally admitted. "I mean, I do love him, but sometimes he drives me crazy. He wants me to be something I'm not. Something I don't want to be... not yet."

Rachel nodded in understanding. Everyone around the station had witnessed their fighting on more than one occasion. "Just don't go askin' for trouble. He's probably tellin' the truth and he lost control. It's been known to happen with young men in the heat of the moment. I doubt he'll let it happen again, but even that ain't foolproof. If you aren't ready for the consequences, maybe you should think hard before you two dance next time."

Lou nodded and hoped Rachel was right, but as the weeks passed, Lou found it harder for her to think even when she began to realize Kid seemed to be losing control more and more.

~~~ *~* ~~~

Lou couldn't believe she let it happen again and again, that she hadn't been able to resist being with Kid, even knowing that no matter what he said, he wasn't able to stop in time. Part of her enjoyed it, but a voice in the back of her head kept reminding her what was at stake and she swore she'd resist him the next time. But even as their problems grew worse, she knew she could never resist the passion in his blue eyes when one of them returned from a run.

"Kid, we need to stop this," she said one afternoon as she stood to dress. They had just gotten very hot and heavy and she knew she needed to put a stop to it before things went further.

Kid was lying on his side and propped himself up on an elbow, placing his head on his hand as he watched her. He couldn't believe watching her dress was turning him on as much as when she undressed. "Why?"

She stopped buttoning her shirt and looked at him. "You know why, Kid. We can't take the chance. It's not a good time for me," she added softly.

As he heard her words, Kid smiled and reached out to grab her hand, pulling her back down beside him. He ran his hand up her still bare thigh. "Please, Lou? I promise I'll control myself better this time. I love you. Let me love you."

Lou knew she shouldn't take the chance but the way he was caressing her and looking at her with such love and adoration, she knew she couldn't resist. Those blue eyes had a way of making her lose all rational thought and she moaned as she arched into his touch, amazed the effect he had over her. "Kid... Just... just be careful. Please?" she begged.

Kid moved over her and smiled. "I promise you, you have my word," he said as he began kissing her.

~~~ *~* ~~~

Afterwards, Kid's felt horrible at the sound of Lou crying. "I'm sorry," he lied. He had hated doing it to her but he couldn't help it. He loved her so much and just wanted things to go back to the way they had been when they were first together.

"You promised me, Kid. You promised you'd stop in time," she sobbed, cursing her own stupidity.

Kid kissed her shoulder and held her tighter. "I thought I could," he said softly in her ear. "I tried, I really did."

Lou nodded as the tears continued to fall. She was to blame as much as he was, and she silently prayed she could resist him next time before any damage was done.

As if reading her thoughts, Kid turned her to face him. "You know if anything happens, I'll be there for you, right? You won't have to face it alone. As long as I love you, you'll never be alone again."

Lou nodded, but his words didn't soothe her as much as he hoped. "I know and I love you too, Kid, but I'm just not ready yet and I'd rather not take the chance again."

Kid nodded, hoping he could stop causing her pain when all he wanted was to prove his love.

Chapter 2

Two months later, Lou already knew in her heart what the doctor had just confirmed.

What is Kid going to think? She asked herself. He claims he's ready for this kind of responsibility, but what about now that it's actually happened? Will he think I trapped him?

Lou rode slowly back to Sweetwater – on the doctor's advice, wondering how she could've allowed this to happen. She had tried to stop "dancing" with Kid altogether, but he would usually wear her down and sometimes it seemed he would pick a fight with her just so they could make up.

But the problems that had caused her to back away from him had just gotten worse. He often tried to demand that he take her rides, he suggested on more than one occasion that she move into the main house with Rachel, and he'd suddenly grow jealous if she spent time with the other riders.

As she handed the mochila off to Ike, Jimmy came up to her. "Hey, Lou. You alright?"

Lou knew she looked like hell but tried to act normal. "Hard ride s'all," she said dismounting. "Kid around?"

Jimmy shook his head. "He's on a run but should be back anytime. Want me to take care of your horse?"

Lou nodded grateful. "Thanks, Jimmy," she said as she walked away, wondering why Kid couldn't be sweet and ask like Jimmy at times instead of demanding.

Lou took a quick shower and gobbled down the snack that Rachel had left out for her. She devoured it quickly, and chuckled as she realized if she kept eating like Cody, the others would quickly notice something was different.

She longed to take a nap, but knew she needed to talk to Kid as soon as he rode in. She grabbed her boots and went to sit on the porch to polish them and it wasn't long before she was lost in thought.

"Gonna polish a hole right through that one if you don't stop."

Lou looked up, surprised she hadn't seen or heard Kid ride in. "Hey," she said quietly.

Kid sat down next to her, longing to pull her into his arms. She had been gone almost a week, and he'd missed her. But her posture and the way she had seemed distracted when he rode in told him it was better not to.

"Rachel's got supper ready," he said. "You hungry?"

"We need to talk," she said, looking down at her boot as she continued to polish it.

Kid scooted closer and leaned in to her ear. "Let's eat something and then we can go off and talk," he whispered seductively.

"No!" she yelled.

Kid sat there startled as Lou jumped up and away from him. He looked at her in confusion as she almost cowered against the bunkhouse wall. "Lou?" He stood up. "What's wrong?"

Lou couldn't look at him, but she could tell by his posture he was worried. "We weren't careful enough," she said softly. "I'm sorry."

It took Kid a moment to realize what she was talking about and a huge grin spread across his face. "You mean?"

Lou was puzzled by the excitement in his voice. "That's why I'm a few days late. I saw the doctor in Blue Creek, and he confirmed it. I'm so sorry," she apologized again.

Kid and Lou heard the others arriving for supper, and Kid led her towards the barn, knowing this was something she probably wasn't ready for the others to know yet. "Don't be sorry, Lou. I'm not."

Lou finally looked at him and saw the excitement in his face. "You're not?"

Kid shook his head and pulled her close. "How can I be sorry when our love created something so wonderful?"

"But we're not ready," she tried to reason. "I can barely take care of myself, how can I be responsible for someone else?"

"You're not the only one responsible, I was there too. And you won't be responsible for our child alone."

Lou knew he meant well, but it didn't make her feel better. Her eyes grew wide as she watched him pull something out of his pocket and kneel down on one knee.

"You've always tried to avoid the subject before, maybe now you won't run away. Louise McCloud, I've loved you since the moment I learned your secret and I know you love me. We took the step and joined our bodies which have resulted in something amazing. I'd like to join our hearts and lives as well. Will you marry me?"

Lou nodded, knowing it was best for their child. Kid picked her up and hugged her, and she wished she could be as excited as he was about everything.

"Lou, what's wrong?" Kid asked, noticing her hesitation. "You don't want to marry me?"

"I do," she sighed. "I guess I'm just worried about what we're gonna tell the others."

Kid laughed as he finally let her down. He cupped her face and smiled, trying to reassure her. "They're gonna find out we're havin' a baby sooner or later. Not like you can hide it forever."

"I know, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"Do we have to tell them right now?"

"About the baby?"

"The baby, the wedding... This is all just happenin' so soon."

"Anything you want, Lou. I know you're worried and scared. I am too. But we'll get through this. I love you."

Lou just nodded, and for the first time, she couldn't bring herself to say the words back to him. She knew she was in love with him, and that one day she would be ready to commit the rest of her life to him, but right now, she couldn't help thinking how much of a mistake this was going to be for the both of them.

Chapter 3

Kid had taken care of everything, and he and Lou would be leaving for a run together in less than a week; during that time they would become husband and wife. But in the two weeks since he'd asked her to marry him, he started to grow more worried about her. She'd withdrawn from him more than before. When she spoke to him, it was usually in monosyllabic replies and she avoided eye contact whenever possible. In his heart, he'd hoped it was the pregnancy and that she would be happy once they married.

Lou knew she should be happy especially when Kid was thrilled, but she couldn't help but think that someday he would feel as if she had trapped him into this. One night while Kid was out on a run, she was plagued with memories of her father reminding her that she was the reason her mother was so miserable. That if it hadn't been for Lou coming along, her mother could've been happy with someone who loved her and "not just the first person she spread her legs for."

She didn't want her child to be brought into the world if either of its parents would look upon it as a mistake. But every time Kid mentioned their child, his face lit up with an excitement she'd never seen before.

Confused, Lou went to talk to the one few people who wouldn't judge her, but who would listen and tell her if she was doing the right thing or making the worst mistake of her life.

"Rachel, can we talk?" she asked, approaching her friend, who was hanging laundry on the line.

"Sure, Louise, what's up?"

"Can we go inside? Or somewhere private?" She asked gesturing to the where the others were doing their chores and could easily overhear them.

Rachel nodded and put the remaining clothes back into the basket. Once they were in the house, Lou sat on the settee and fiddled with her hands, not sure where to start.

"How far along are you?" Rachel finally asked, breaking the silence.

Lou looked up in confusion, wondering how Rachel could know. "How'd you know? Kid and I haven't said anything to anyone yet."

Rachel sighed. "I didn't. Not until now. What are you two going to do now?" Rachel had a feeling she already knew the answer, and it wasn't one she wanted to hear.

"Our double ride to Rock Creek next week... Kid specifically asked for me to go because we're gettin' married," Lou said quietly.

Rachel got up from her chair across the room and sat down next to her, pulling Lou into her arms. "Oh honey, are you sure?"

"I'm so scared, but I know it's the right thing to do."

"Right for whom? For you, the baby or for Kid?"

"I guess the baby," Lou shrugged.

"But if you aren't sure it's what's right for you, then how can you be sure it's right for the baby?"

"I just don't think I can do it on my own. I'm not strong enough, and I know Kid loves me. I do love him, but..."

"But what?" Rachel pressed.

Lou hung her head down in shame. "I'm the reason my parents got married, and my father made sure I knew it."

Rachel looked horrified. "You think Kid would..."

Lou shook her head. "No, but what if he feels that way later on? What if I keep feeling that way? Is the baby really better off with two parents married who resent each other?"

"Oh, honey," Rachel said trying to comfort her. "You're forgetting that my parents never married and I never even knew my father's name. My mother worked herself to death tryin' to make sure I was taken care of."

"I know," Lou's tears were flowing nonstop now. "But I don't think I can do this on my own. I couldn't even care for my brother and sister, how can I care for a baby?"

"You are one of the strongest women I've ever met, and things are a lot different now for you then when you were responsible for Teresa and Jeremiah. And even if you two didn't get married, we both know Kid would never abandon his child."

"I guess you're right," Lou said, but feeling a bit better about the situation.

"Besides, no matter what you decide, you won't have to raise this child alone."

"I know, Kid will be there."

"And so will me and the others. We're family, and you know this child will have more uncles than you'd ever want."

Lou wiped her tears away. "Can you imagine Jimmy and Cody babysitting?"

Rachel started laughing at the image. "I think it's more like the poor kid would be babysitting them."

"Thanks, Rachel. I feel better now."

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

Lou shrugged. "Not really, but it made me realize I need to talk to Kid. He needs to know how I'm feeling."

Rachel watched as Lou yawned. "I remember those days," she said smiling. "You're tired all the time but can never seem to find the time to nap. Am I right?"

Lou smiled and nodded. "It's not just find the time, it's finding a quiet place. Half of the time, Cody or one of the others come storming in."

"Why don't you go upstairs and take a nap," Rachel offered. "Take as long as you need."

Lou smiled. "I think I will," she said gratefully. "Thank you... for everything."

"That's what I'm here for." Rachel watched Lou wearily climb the stairs and decided she needed to have a chat with Kid.

Once she was sure Lou was asleep, Rachel went outside to confront Kid. She found him in the barn cleaning out stalls with Jimmy.

"Jimmy, could you leave us for a few minutes," Rachel said. "I need to talk to Kid... alone."

Jimmy nodded and left, wondering why Rachel seemed so furious. He was tempted to eavesdrop, but knew he'd be in serious trouble if he was caught.

"Everything alright?" Kid asked after Jimmy was gone.

"You tell me," Rachel said, standing with her hands on her hips.

"Everything's fine. Better than fine, they're great."

"Well I just spent thirty minutes trying to convince your fiancé of that." Kid stopped shoveling and turned ghost white. "Yeah, Kid. Lou came to me because she's scared. Just answer me one thing."

"I love her, Rachel."

"That's not what I want to know. You seem happy about the situation. Did you even think of the sacrifices that you'd have to make? Or the ones Lou would have too? Having a baby is a big responsibility."

"I know that, Rachel," he said hanging his head down until he finally looked up and smiled. "But I'd do anything for her. I'd sacrifice my life for her if she asked me too."

Suspicions ran through her mind and she shook her head. "Kid, you don't seem to feel guilty for someone who had an accident." Kid's reaction told her she had gotten his attention. "Lou told me you started having problems controlling yourself all of a sudden. Even after promising her you would. Tell me Kid, you knew exactly what you were doing when you kept accidently losing control, didn't you?"

Kid didn't answer, just hung his head down in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. "I love her more than anything and I was scared I was losing her."

Rachel was horrified at his confession and her eyes grew huge.

"So you lied to her? Tricked her? Did you even think that trapping her wouldn't do that in the long run? You think that making her have a baby that she's not ready for will make it better? Make it so she can't leave you, even if that's what she wants? Kid, she's scared that you'll grow to resent her and hate your child. She's blamin' herself for allowing this to happen."

Kid sighed. "I never meant to hurt her, Rachel. It's not her fault, it's all mine."

Rachel saw the pain and sincerity in the young man's eyes and relented slightly. "Well, she must've been a willing participant as well. It takes two to create a child."

"Where is she now?"

"Resting up at the house," Rachel answered. Kid immediately started to head out of the barn. "Like she should be."

Kid stopped. "I should go talk to her."

"Let her rest, Kid, she needs it. Talk to her after dinner, and make sure you tell her everything. Especially how much you love her. If you don't, I will."

Kid felt ashamed and knew nothing else he said would make him look sincere so he went back to work. Rachel prayed the love between the two of them would be able to survive his betrayal and that Lou would eventually be able to learn to trust him again.

Chapter 4

Lou woke up a couple of hours later feeling better, at least physically. Emotionally she knew what she needed to do; she just hoped Kid wouldn't hate her for it. She felt as if she were being watched and turned over, slowly opening her eyes. She smiled as she saw Kid sitting in the chair watching over her.

"How long did I sleep?"

"About three hours," he replied. When he first entered the room to see Lou looking so peaceful, he had to fight the urge to crawl in bed next to her and hold her tight. As he watched her sleep, he realized that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, and all because he was too selfish to lose her.

Lou sat up and realized he seemed to be in a serious mood, but she recognized the look in his eyes. "You could've crawled in next to me, you know. It's not like the damage hasn't already been done," she grinned playfully.

Kid chuckled. "We need to talk," he said solemnly. Lou scooted over on the bed and patted the space next to her. Kid shook his head. "Can you ride? I'm guessing its okay since you've still been takin' rides."

Lou nodded. "As long as I go slowly the doc said it was alright for now. But not for much longer."

"Want to ride somewhere? We really need to talk and I don't want to take a chance on someone overhearing us."

Lou nodded as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. "The pond?" She asked as she started to stand. Immediately the room began to swim around her and she quickly sat back down.

"Lou?" Kid asked concerned as he jumped from the bed. "Should I go get Rachel?"

Lou shook her head. "I got up to quickly s'all. It happens every now and then. The doctor said it was normal."

Kid didn't look convinced. "Are you sure? Maybe we shouldn't go riding."

"I'm fine, Kid!" She snapped.

Kid was horrified as Lou started crying. "Lou what's wrong? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Lou shook her head. "It's not your fault. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just don't know what's wrong with me these days."

Kid finally sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. "I do, and it's my fault, not yours."

Lou shook her head. "I could've said no, Kid. I should've said no," she said quietly. "I guess deep down with the way we were fighting, I thought that I was going to lose you. I didn't want to face being alone again, and maybe that's why I didn't."

Kid sighed knowing it was now or never. If he didn't tell her, he knew the guilt would eat her alive inside. "No, Lou. That's what I was doin'."

"What?" she asked puzzled, shaking her head. "I don't understand." For some reason her hand automatically flew to her chest, where she started fiddling with the ring he had given her. Since they had decided to keep things a secret for now, she wore it on a chain under her clothing, close to her heart.

"I know things ain't been easy for us lately, even before the pregnancy. I guess I hoped that if I got you pregnant, things would be better." He watched as confusion and other emotions crossed over her face. "That's why I didn't pull out," he continued quietly.

"What? Even after what I told you that first time, you still wanted me to get pregnant?" Lou was furious and couldn't believe what he was saying. "It's usually the girl that tries to trap the guy, Kid! That's low even for you. I thought you loved me!" Lou jumped off the bed. "It wasn't enough that I gave myself to you prove my how much I loved you, but forcing me to make sure I'd stay with you..." she couldn't finish.

"I know it was wrong of me, Lou," he said standing in front of the door to prevent her from leaving. "I wish now that I hadn't been so selfish. That I'd been more secure in our love."

"It's a bit late for that now, Kid," she hissed. "You knew I wasn't ready, that I didn't want this yet. I don't even know you anymore. The person I fell in love with would never try to control me like this."

"I'm sorry, Lou. I just didn't know what I'd do if I lost you."

Lou looked at him in horror. "Too late, Kid. The wedding is off!" She pushed him out of the way and ran out of the room, down the stairs and out the door.

~~~ *~* ~~~

Over the next few days, Kid tried hard to get Lou to talk to him, to let him explain, but she wouldn't even give him the time of day. Each night he stared at her bunk above him, praying she would forgive him, that she would talk to him, tell him news about the baby... something that would give him a sign that she still loved him. Instead, he woke up the morning they had been scheduled to leave on their wedding run, with the ring he'd given her lying beside him on his pillow.

Since Kid and Lou were no longer going to Rock Creek to get married, he begged Buck and Ike to take the run instead. He was disappointed to learn Lou had taken a quick day run but it didn't surprise him that much. The others knew something was going on, but neither said anything. He knew Lou wasn't going to be able to hide her pregnancy much longer, he had noticed the night before that her clothes seemed to fit tighter. Not to mention her breasts were suddenly filling out; much to his pleasure and pain.

"We're goin' into town," Cody told him that afternoon. "You comin'?"

Kid shook his head. "Not really in the mood, you guys go on ahead."

"You okay?" Jimmy asked before leaving.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he answered. "Just something me and Lou need to work out ourselves."

Jimmy nodded and left Kid sitting on his bunk. He buried his face in his hands wondering how he could be so stupid. He never thought his plan would wind up tearing them apart when all he wanted was to bring them closer. He knew he had been selfish, but he loved her and couldn't see why she wasn't ready to love him the same way. Now she didn't even love him at all.

Kid looked up as he heard a knock on the bunkhouse door and went to open it. "Can I help you?" he asked the lady standing on the other side.

"Yes, I hope so. My name is Samantha Edgars, and I'm the new school teacher in town. I was wondering if I might drop off a letter to be mailed. This is the Pony Express Station isn't it?"

Kid nodded, momentarily stunned at the Southern accent. "Yes, ma'am. This is the Express station. I can take the letter for you."

"Thank you Mr. ... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

Kid blushed. "Oh, most folks just call me Kid," he said taking the letter she handed him.

Kid and Samantha started talking, and neither noticed Lou riding into the yard.

She quickly dismounted glad to be home. She tied Lightning to a post, promising to come back to take care of him soon, but she needed to fix her pants and quickly. This was the third time in a week she'd had to fix them, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hide her slightly expanded stomach much longer. She tried to forget the look on Kid's face the night before as he watched her dressed. In the past it would have her begging him to sneak out to the barn, but those days were over now.

As she opened the door to the bunkhouse, she heard a feminine voice and stopped in the doorway.

"Well, Kid," Samantha started. "Your job sounds mighty exciting and I'd love to hear more, but I must be returning home. Maybe some time you could come by the schoolhouse and tell my children more about your adventures."

"Well I'm not so sure how exciting it really is," he said blushing; not noticing Lou standing in the doorway.

"Well maybe one day soon you can show me around town. I'm afraid I've only been here a few days, and other than the shop keep, you're the first person I've met."

"I don't know," he said, feeling uncomfortable with her flirty nature.

"Why not, Kid?" Lou asked from the room. "You seem to have a way with women."

Kid looked up horrified at Lou's voice. "You're back," he said, happy to see her. To finally have a chance to be alone with her so they could talk.

"I can see you're busy, so I'll just get my things..."

Kid grabbed her arm as she started to open her trunk, forgetting Samantha was still there. "Lou, can we please talk?"

Lou looked over at Samantha as she broke free from his grasp. "Looks like you're already talkin'," she reminded him as she grabbed an extra pair of pants from the trunk. "If you'll excuse me," she said as she hurried out of the bunkhouse before Kid could see the tears starting to form.

"Well that was rude of him," Samantha said. "He could've at least acknowledged me."

Kid shook his head. "Lou's got a lot on his mind lately," he explained. And it's all my fault, he added silently.

Samantha stood up. "Still that's no excuse. Well I better go, it looks like you have some work to do, and I don't want Martha to come looking for me."

"It was nice meetin' you."

"Same here, Kid, and I hope you consider my offer to show me around town soon."

"I'll have to check my schedule," he lied. Guilt swept through him as he realized how easily it had become for him to lie lately.

"You do that, then," Samantha grinned, anticipating getting to know the rider better.

Kid watched her as she left the bunkhouse and headed back towards town. He immediately ran to the barn to talk to Lou.

Chapter 5

The day after the Samantha incident, Jimmy watched Lou as she slowly rode with him towards Willow Creek. He had been shocked, but pleasantly surprised the night before when she said she'd rather go on the ride with him instead since she was no longer scheduled to ride with Kid. He knew the two lovebirds were having problems, and he only hoped he could try to find out what the stubborn Southerner had done now.

"Mind if we make camp, Jimmy?" Lou asked. "It's been a long day and I'm tired."

"You okay, Lou?" He spotted a clearing a little ways away and led her to it.

Lou followed Jimmy to the clearing and was relieved to finally be able to rest. She was grateful that Jimmy had kept the talk to a minimum on the ride so far, but knew the curiosity was getting to him.

As they made camp, Jimmy turned as he heard something rip and then Lou groan. He turned to see that Lou's pants had ripped, and he quickly turned away, blushing in embarrassment. He couldn't help but chuckle. "Kid must be doing something right if he finally got you to put on some weight. Not that I'm complaining, it's about time, and you look good with some meat on your bones."

"Damn it," Lou exclaimed.

"It's no big deal, Lou," Jimmy informed her. "We've all ripped our pants at one time or another. And I was just jokin' with ya. I didn't mean to upset you."

Lou sat down on her bedroll. "It's not you, Jimmy. I'm just havin' a bad day."

Jimmy knelt down beside her and started the campfire. "Want to talk about it?" He looked over at her and saw she had already laid down and turned away from him.

He prepared a small dinner for them, knowing she needed to eat, and when it was finished, he woke her. "Supper's ready," he said gently shook her.

"I'm not hungry," she replied.

"Come on, Lou. You need to eat something. And I promise you, one little meal won't make you split your pants again."

Lou nodded and sat up. She took the plate Jimmy offered her and devoured it almost before he had a chance to sit down and start on his. "Thanks, Jimmy."

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked cautiously.

"Sure, doesn't mean I'll answer it."

"Did you decide not to go on the ride with Kid because of that Samantha?"

Lou shook her head. "We were havin' problems before she came along," she answered quietly, trying to hide the pain she felt. "Kid's probably with her right now when we should've been..." She stopped realizing she had almost told Jimmy what she should've been doing at that very moment.

"Should've been what?" Jimmy waited for an answer. "You just don't say something like that and stop."

"Promise not to tell anyone? I mean it Jimmy, we didn't want anyone to know yet."

"You have my word, Lou."

"Kid and I were goin' to Rock Creek so we could get married."

"Mar... Married?" He wasn't sure if he's heard her right, and his words came out as a stutter. "What he'd do, get you pregnant?" He joked. But as soon as he said it, he immediately wished he hadn't. Her sobs broke his heart, but told him all he needed to know. Shocked, he asked "You're pregnant?"

"Jimmy, you can't tell anyone you know," she pleaded.

"Kid knows doesn't he?" The look she sent him across the fire sent shivers down his spine. "I was just askin'."

"He knows," she said sadly. "He couldn't be happier."

"Then why are you here with me and not marryin' him?"

"Jimmy, please," she pleaded. She'd already said too much as it is, and she knew that if she told Jimmy that Kid had purposely gotten her pregnant, there would be hell to pay when they returned to the station.

"No, Lou. I know Kid and he loves you. The fact you're carryin' his child and not marrying him has got to be killing him. So again I ask, why are you here with me and not gettin' married to him?"

"I wasn't ready... I'm not ready... I thought I loved him, but I realized he's not the person I fell in love with."

"You two will work it out, Lou. If I've ever seen two people that belong together, it's the two of you," he said with a hint of regret. He once believed if given a chance, he and Lou could have something together, but now that she was with Kid's child that could never happen.

Lou wanted to tell him everything. To tell him how Kid had purposely gotten her pregnant when he knew it was the last thing she wanted at this point in her life.

"I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe if he hadn't..."

"Hadn't what?" A horrible thought entered his mind. "He didn't force you..."

"NO!" Lou shouted. Not in the way you think, she thought sadly. Why does everyone think Kid would do that?

"Kid knew before I got pregnant, that I wasn't ready for marriage. He'd brought it up several times and he knew how I felt. But when I found out that I was, I figured marryin' him was what was best for our child. But it's not fair to either of us or our child."

"Would you have married him someday?"

Lou nodded. "I'd like to think so. I love him... did love him. Now I'm not so sure. There are things you don't know Jimmy. It's complicated."

"Love's complicated," Jimmy told her, trying to ignore his feelings for her.

Lou let out a little laugh. "You don't know the half of it. I think I'm gonna turn in for the night. Thanks for listening, Jimmy."

"Anytime, Lou. And I wouldn't even worry about Samantha. From what Kid was sayin' last night, it's obvious there's only one person he wants, and it's not some polished Southerner. More like someone more his equal and he's an idiot for lettin' you go."

But Lou didn't hear him, she was already fast asleep, curled into a ball. He covered her with her blanket and gently kissed her forehead, praying that she and Kid would work things out.

~~~ *~* ~~~

The next day, Jimmy tried everything to cheer Lou up. He'd bought her a dress, taken her to dinner, and taken her to the fair in town. Unfortunately he wound up spending a lot of time holding her hair as she threw up and tried comforting her.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy," Lou apologized, feeling guilty. "I haven't been sick at all and now that you've tried to cheer me up, I can't stop. Maybe I should be one of the freaks on exhibit here at the fair."

"Don't worry about it, Lou," he comforted as he watched her start to retch again. "Maybe we should get you back to the hotel so you can rest."

Lou shook her head. "I was having so much fun though. Please, Jimmy. Just give me a few minutes and it'll pass."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Maybe get me some water and some toasted bread? Rachel said that usually helped with her."

"Will you be alright if I leave for a few minutes to get them?" Lou nodded. "Stay right here then," he said taking off. When he returned with the requested items ten minutes later, he spent the rest of the night searching for her.

~~~ *~* ~~~

When Jimmy finally found Lou; hanging from a noose, the first thing he wondered was how none of the others had figured out she was pregnant. Maybe it was the lighting or the way she was hanging, but the slight swell of her stomach and her fuller breasts, made it obvious. He was disgusted with himself as his body betrayed him when he should be concerned not only for her safety, but the safety of her unborn child.

After he took out Hopkins, he ran to where Lou lay curled up hugging her stomach. Her tears were flowing heavily as he pulled he carefully removed the noose from around her neck. He pulled her into his arms and whispered his apologies and words of comfort.

"Jimmy?"

"Yeah, Lou?"

"I need a doc," she said between sobs. "I'm in pain and I think..."

Jimmy looked at her and realized she was talking about the baby. Oh God, he thought. Not only could Lou have been killed, I wasn't thinking about her child. Please let them both be okay, he silently begged.

He carefully picked her up and ran into town to the doctors. His heart ripped a little more with each moan and gasp that escaped from her lips. When he entered the office, he immediately took charge, demanding she been seen right then and there, only to be ushered outside to wait for the news he prayed wouldn't come.

Chapter 6

When Lou was stable enough to travel, Jimmy rented a buckboard and tried to make her as comfortable as possible. He couldn't even imagine what she was going through, and even though she refused to believe it, he knew it was his fault.

"We're coming up on the station, Lou," he said as he turned to look at her curled up in the back. His heart broke as he saw she was in the same position she'd been in since they'd left, and the tears just kept falling while she remained silent. "We'll be home shortly and Rachel can make you more comfortable."

"Thanks, Jimmy," she said quietly. It was the first time she'd spoken in the three days since they'd left Willow Creek.

She knew Jimmy blamed himself, but she knew it was her fault. The doctor had told her that if the fall hadn't killed her unborn child, more likely one of her broken ribs would. She'd been a fool to go with Hopkins, the man who seemed so caring while she was sick and waiting for Jimmy to return. He had said he was a doctor and could help her feel better, and she foolishly believed him. Now she was waiting until the body of the child she was carrying would be aborted; a child she didn't realize how much she loved and wanted until it was too late.

She already had made up her mind that she couldn't stay in Sweetwater anymore. There was no way she could live with Kid now, knowing that she killed the child they had created. Once her ribs had healed and she had had a chance to grieve, she would leave. She had already contacted Emma and knew Emma would be more than happy to have her stay with them while she figured out what to do next.

"Lou, we're home," Jimmy said pulling the buckboard to a stop in front of Rachel's house.

"Jimmy? Lou?" Rachel said running over to see what was happening.

Jimmy carefully picked Lou up in his arms. "Rachel, she needs to stay with you for a few days. Can I get her settled and then explain what happened?"

"Of course, Jimmy," Rachel said as she held her front door open.

"Is Kid here?" Jimmy asked.

Rachel nodded. "He's getting' ready for a run, though."

"Get him," Jimmy ordered. "Tell him I'll take his run, he needs to be with her right now."

"Jimmy, Kid is the last person Lou wants to be around right now. I don't think..." She stopped cold when she saw the sad look on Jimmy's face.

"She needs him, Rachel. She's losing their child."

Rachel's face fell and she bit her lip to fight the tears forming. "I'll go get him. Get her settled up in the guest room."

She ran from her house to the bunkhouse just as Kid was exiting about ready to mount Katy and greet the incoming rider. "Kid, wait." She said out of breath.

"What's wrong? I have a ride."

"Jimmy and Lou just returned. Kid, Jimmy will take your ride. You need to go be with Lou right now. She needs you."

Kid shook his head. "No she doesn't, Rachel." He swung up into the saddle and looked down at Rachel. "I'll just wind up hurting her, and I don't want to fight with her anymore."

Rachel placed her hand over his on the saddle horn. "Kid, she needs you right now. I'm not sure what happened on their run, but Lou's hurt. Bad."

Kid's blue eyes grew wide and were filled with pain. "How bad?"

"Jimmy said she's losin' the baby."

Kid immediately dismounted and ran to the house. He took the stairs two at a time and was puzzled as he saw Jimmy standing outside the room.

"Why aren't you in there?" Kid yelled. "What happened? What's going on?"

Jimmy stopped Kid from throwing the door wide open. "Kid, she's changing clothes right now. I stepped out so she could have some privacy. She may need your help though. She has a few broken ribs and it must be painful for her to move."

"The baby?"

Jimmy shook his head. "The doc said it won't make it. He wanted to keep her in Willow Creek until she delivered it but..." Jimmy fought back his own tears as he remembered how even though she was miserable, Lou had fought the doctor when he suggested he give her something to help speed things up. She had fought with all the spunk, fire and determination he was used to her having.

"She wanted to come home. She figured you hated her about now, but she felt you deserved the chance to be with her when it happened."

"I could never hate her, Jimmy. All of this is my fault. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't be in this mess to begin with. She should be the one to hate me."

"Kid, you weren't the only one there. She could've said no."

"I know, but it was more me than her. Whenever she tried to say no, I wound up convincing her to say yes. I wanted her to get pregnant because then she'd have to marry me. I was so selfish I couldn't lose her, and now I'm losing them both."

Jimmy slammed Kid up against the wall, the fury in his eyes scaring them both. "I swear to you, if you hurt her anymore when she needs you, that'll be the last thing you'll ever do. Despite how stupid you were, she still loves you, though God only knows why after what you just said." Jimmy released him pushing him towards the door. "Get in there and take care of her. I'll take your run."

Kid watched as Jimmy walked away and took a deep breath. He softly knocked on the door and when Lou didn't answer, he opened the door. She way lying on the bed, facing away from him, with her pants on and her middle bandaged. Her shirt lay discarded on the floor and next to her was the one she was probably trying to put on.

"Kid?" She asked knowing it was him as soon as the door opened.

"I'm here, Lou," he said sitting next to her on the bed. "Do you need some help changing?"

Lou shook her head. "I don't want to do anything. I just wish it was me," she said through the tears. "I'd give anything to lose my life instead of the baby's."

Against his better judgment, Kid lay beside her and pulled her into his arms. She groaned in pain, but didn't pull away from him. "Don't say that, Lou. I couldn't bear to lose you," he said in to her ear and smoothed her sweat soaked hair away from her face. "I love you so much, Lou."

"I love you too, Kid. I'm so sorry," she cried. "I'm so sorry for everything."

"None of it's your fault, Lou. Get some rest now. I'm here right beside you."

Lou nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around his. They lay like that for hours, with their arms and hands cradling her stomach, waiting for the inevitable.

~~~ *~* ~~~

A week later, Lou was feeling better physically, but emotionally as the days dragged by with nothing happening, she felt worse and worse. Kid had to tell Teaspoon everything, but as for the others, they believed that Lou had been hurt pretty bad, and Kid didn't want to leave her. They were more than willing to take his runs, but he continued to do his and Lou's chores around the station.

As the days passed, he knew the wait was torture for her, because it was for him. They were becoming close again, and each day he loved her more and more, but she withdrew more and more from him and everything, and he felt as if nothing he said or did made her feel better.

He wished more than anything that he could go back in time and change everything. He knew now how wrong he was to trap her into something she wasn't ready for. The past few days had him thinking hard, and he had begun to realize he hadn't been ready either. He had hoped a child would bring them closer together, but instead it tore them farther apart. He only hoped their love was strong enough to survive this.

~~~ *~* ~~~

Three days later, Kid was in the barn mucking stalls when Rachel came running.

"Kid," she said sadly. "You need to get up there now."

Kid looked at her and the pain on her face was all he needed to know. He ran upstairs and held her as the life they had created was born without ever having a chance. They cried together for hours afterwards as Kid held their tiny son in his hand, worried when Lou wouldn't even hold or look at him.

Their son didn't look like a normal child would, but Kid loved him just the same. The doctor told them that it looked like that at fourteen weeks of development, but in Kid's mind, their son looked perfect, but he knew Lou wouldn't feel that way.

"Have you thought of a name?" Kid asked. "We should name him, especially if we want to give him a proper burial."

Lou just shrugged and continued staring blankly out the window.

"Lou, look at him. Please," he begged. "Look at our son."

"I can't," she cried.

Kid nodded. "We can think of a name later," he said sadly. "Why don't you get some rest. I'll go talk to Rachel, and take care of the arrangements."

Lou barely nodded as Kid stood. He placed his son in the bassinet Rachel had found in the attic and hoped that by leaving their son alone with her, she'd spend some time to at least say goodbye.

~~~ *~* ~~~

The next morning, Teaspoon sent the other riders into town for the day, and Kid stood with Rachel and Teaspoon in the small cemetery beside Emma's garden. Lou still hadn't talked to anyone and had hardly moved since their son was born, and Kid wished more than anything she was there to support him as much as he wanted to support her.

As their son was laid to rest in a shallow, unmarked grave, no one noticed as Jimmy watched from a distance and Lou cried hysterically as she watched from the bedroom window.

Chapter 7

As the days passed after the funeral, Lou completely shut down. She didn't speak, wouldn't eat, and except for when the vomiting hit, didn't move. She thought nothing would ever be as painful as Kid's betrayal, but the loss of their son proved her wrong. When Kid had sat by her side, she didn't want to see their son; didn't want to acknowledge he existed, hoping it would make it easier. But when Kid left the room she couldn't help but too finally look, and that had been her undoing.

"Lou, are you hungry?" Kid asked as he entered the room with a tray; bringing her out of her thoughts. "You need to eat something so you can get your strength back."

"I'm not hungry," she spoke for first time in days. "It won't stay down if I even try."

Kid sighed as he placed the tray down beside the bed. He sat down on the bed in front of her so she'd have to look at him. "It's just some broth and dried toast. Please, Lou. Try eating something for me."

"Why are you bein' so nice to me?"

Kid was puzzled at her statement. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I? I love you."

"I killed our son. How can you love me?"

Kid cupped her face. "These things happen, Lou. It's not your fault, it's not Jimmy's, it just happened."

Lou noticed he'd left himself out of the statement. She knew he blamed himself almost as much as she blamed herself. She felt herself start to lose herself in his blue eyes. Eyes that were once filled with love but now were filled with pain, sorrow and guilt, and she knew she was the reason.

"Maybe losing our son was for the best," he continued. "You were right. I don't think either of us was truly ready, no matter how strong our love is. When we're ready, and I hope someday we will be, our child should be conceived out of our mutual love for each other. Not because I was too insecure and wanted to make sure you couldn't leave me."

"Kid, just leave me alone," she pleaded horrified at his statement. He's glad our child is dead, she thought sadly.

"Eat a bite and I'll let you rest until supper."

Lou shook her head. "No," she protested. "Leave me alone and don't come back."

"Lou?"

"Go!" She screamed loudly.

Kid looked at her in shock, but knew it was best to give her what she wanted. He tried to kiss her forehead, but she pulled away. He stood and walked to the door. "I love you, Lou. Remember that," he said before leaving her room.

~~~ *~* ~~~

A week later, Kid woke in his bunk with a feeling something wasn't right. He sat up and noticed an empty space where Lou's trunk used to be. After he had left her room that day, Rachel had refused to let Kid see her, saying it would just upset her more than she already was.

He quickly dressed and hurried to the house, hoping that Teaspoon had just moved her belongings. But as he saw the small cemetery, he stopped. A tiny cross had been placed during the night, where he had buried their son. The inscription was in Lou's handwriting and read "Alexander Louis McCloud, February 1, 1861."

Hoping his instincts were wrong, he ran to the barn and sat down in Lightning's empty stall and began to cry.

~~~ *~* ~~~

Lou was relieved as she rode into Emma and Sam's yard. It had been a long ride from Sweetwater to Omaha, and she would be glad to spend time with someone who she could finally tell everything to.

She smiled as Sam greeted her and pulled her into a hug as she as she dismounted. "Welcome to your new home, Lou. Go see Emma, she's waitin' for you. I'll take care of Lightning for you."

"Thanks, Sam," she said smiling for the first time in weeks.

"Oh, you're trunk and other belongings arrived last week by stage. Emma already has a room set up for you."

Lou nodded and entered the house. "Emma?" She called out.

At Lou's voice, Emma came running down the stairs. "Oh, Loulabelle. I'm so glad to see you," she said pulling her into a hug. "Let's get you settled in and then get some food in you. You look like you haven't eaten in weeks. And while you're eatin' you can tell me what happened."

Lou nodded; glad that even though Emma would be disappointed in her and Kid's lack of judgment, she would still love her as if she were her own child.

~~~ *~* ~~~

For the next several months, Kid thought of everywhere that Lou may have gone, but with no luck. If Rachel knew, and he suspected she did, she wasn't talking. He even sent word to Emma and Sam, but he was out of luck there as well.

By now, the others knew the story, and everyone missed her. No one could believe Lou would take off when she needed her family the most. When something bad happened to one, it happened to all. Four months after she left, when Ike died, Kid and the others grieved together as they lost another member of the family.

A month later, Kid stood outside Rachel's house and couldn't help but overhear her talking to Teaspoon.

"Emma says it doesn't look good for Lou," Rachel said. "She's real sick and the doc doesn't think she'll make it much longer."

Teaspoon sighed. "What should we tell the others?"

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know Teaspoon, but when Kid finds out that..."

But Kid had already heard all he needed to. He'd finally found Lou, and was in the barn saddling Katy and on his way to Sam and Emma's before the others even knew.

Chapter 8

Kid had never pushed Katy so hard and only stopped when he had too for her sake. He was determined to get to Omaha so he could bring Lou back home with him. As soon as he arrived in town, he went straight to Sam's office.

"Kid?" Sam asked, looking up as his office door flew open. "It's about time you got here."

"I came as fast as I could, Sam," he answered. "I realized I didn't even know where to go, so I came straight to your office."

"I'll go with you. Emma will be glad to see you, but if Lou's havin' a good day, I don't think she will."

"Sam? How is she?"

"Lou has her good days and her bad days. The doc isn't sure..."

Kid never thought of that possibility. He'd already lost his son, he didn't think he'd survive if he lost Lou too. "What's wrong with her?"

Sam stood up and wrapped his arm around the worried man's shoulders. "Let's get you over to the house and I'll let Emma explain."

~~~ *~* ~~~

Emma's reception wasn't as welcoming as Sam's, but Kid could understand. She was disappointed in Lou and him, but especially him for his deception when he claimed to have loved her. As Emma explained the infection that had plagued Lou's tiny body, Kid found it hard to understand.

"Can I see her?" he begged.

Emma nodded. "But Kid, if you ever loved her, really loved her, don't upset her. Just be there for her right now."

"Emma, I never stopped lovin' her. These past few months not knowing where she was... Emma, I can't lose her. I thought losin' our son was the hardest thing, but when she left me... I'm miserable without her."

Emma smiled, hearing all she needed to reassure herself that sending for him wasn't a mistake. She only hoped Lou would forgive her.

"Go on up. It's the third door on the right," Sam told him. Kid took off and Sam looked at his wife. "He has no idea, does he?"

Emma shook her head. "It is gonna be a shock that's for sure."

~~~ *~* ~~~

Lou's body tightened as the door opened and she felt his presence. She should've known Emma would send for him, and she was furious. She weakly pulled her legs up closer to her body and continued to stare out the window.

"Lou?" Kid called her name softly, not sure if she was sleeping.

"What are you doin' here, Kid?"

"I've been lookin' everywhere for you," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. He had hoped she would turn and look at him, but knew she needed time.

"You ain't got a right to be here," she snapped. "Go back to Sweetwater, Kid. I don't need you anymore."

Kid sighed realizing she didn't even know they were no longer in Sweetwater. "I need you, Lou. I've been miserable since you left." He gently rubbed her back but didn't stop when he felt her flinch under his touch. "Why didn't you stay? You pushed me away when we should've been there for each other to grieve together."

Lou heard the sadness in his voice and fought back her own tears. "But you said you were glad... How could I grieve with you after hearing that?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he said, his heart breaking as he realized she had misinterpreted what he meant. "I meant that I didn't want our son born into a world where we'd blame him for our problems. I was wrong thinkin' that forcin' you to marry me would help. All It did was make it worse. I was scared of losin' you, but I did that anyway... and our son. More than anything I wish Alexander had survived. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Or you."

Lou took a deep breath. It's now or never, she thought. She tried to turn over, but felt too weak.

Kid saw her struggling to turn over and gently helped her and gasped at the sight of her. With her ghost white face sunken in, he hardly recognized the beautiful woman she once was. But what shocked him most was her swollen stomach despite her skeletal frame.

"Lou?" he asked in confusion. The next words out of his mouth were ones he wished he'd never said. "Who's the father?"

"Get out!" she screamed.

"Lou."

"I said get out!" She tried pushing him away from her, but was too weak and started coughing.

Emma came rushing into the room. "Damn it, Kid! I told you not to upset her!" she reprimanded as she grabbed the pitcher and poured a cup of water to help alleviate Lou's coughing. "Get out of here!"

"Emma, what's going on?"

Emma tried to comfort Lou while Kid continued to rant. "What does it look like? She's pregnant."

"I can see that. How?"

By now Sam had come into the room. "Kid, let's go downstairs and I'll explain. It's obvious you didn't read all of Emma's telegram."

"Telegram? What telegram? I never got one from Emma, I just heard Rachel and Teaspoon..."

"Come on and I'll explain everything."

Kid nodded but was worried about Lou. He was angry that she had found someone, obviously very soon after leaving him, but he still loved her. He was extremely angry that Emma had sent for him, just so he'd see he in that condition, and wondered why she did. As he and Sam sat down in the living room, he also wondered about the father. Who was he? Where was he? Did she love him?

"Kid," Sam started. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions and..."

"Does she love him?" he asked looking away. He couldn't bear to see the truth in Sam's eyes even if he lied.

Sam smiled as he realized he had been right; Kid had no clue, and he was going to have some fun. "Very much. She's been miserable without him."

"Where is he?"

"Well, he's been travelin' the past few days, but I'm sure he'll be seein' her again real soon."

"Are they married?" Sam shook his head. "Does he want to marry her? Does she want to marry him?"

Sam heard the pain in his voice and decided it was time to end his misery. "Well, Kid, that all depends on you."

Kid looked up finally in confusion. "Why would it depend on me? If they're happy together..."

"Kid, she hasn't been happy since she got here. Not even when the doctor told her she was still pregnant."

"What do you mean "still pregnant"? Sam, I was with her when she lost our child."

"Kid, that's still your child she's carrying she was apparently havin' twins."

As realization set in, Kid felt like a fool. "I'm an idiot. Sam, what's wrong with her?"

~~~ *~* ~~~

"Feeling better?" Emma asked as Lou's coughing had finally stopped and her breathing returned to normal.

Lou nodded. "Why, Emma? Why did you have to tell him?"

Despite the infection taking its toll on Lou's small body, she still had her fighting spirit. "I didn't. I respected your wish even though we both know what the doc said. But I'm glad he knows now. I know deep down in your heart, you wanted to see him again. Wanted him to know you still love him."

"But the shock... he doesn't love me anymore, Emma. If he did, he would've never accused me of being unfaithful to him."

"I thought you had written to him and told him about the child like I told you to. He had a right to know he still had a child before it was too late."

"Now he just gets to watch me die," Lou said quietly as her eyes drifted shut.

Emma hoped it wouldn't come to that. A month after Lou arrived she took deathly ill with some sort of infection. She just sat there and comforted her as they learned not only would Lou most likely not make it, but she was still carrying a child by Kid. Not only had it been a miracle that one of the babies was still alive, but also that Lou had made it this far. Emma prayed for the miracle that would allow them both to survive and she and Kid would be happy together once more.