Kid sat staring into the fire in front of him. They, he and Lou, were on their way back to Rock Creek from St. Joe, having picked up Jeremiah and Teresa from the orphanage.
The trip had been perfect. No trouble, no bad weather, nothing like what could have troubled them. The nuns had been kind to them, even letting them stay the night at the orphanage before starting the trip back. Some of the children had remembered them and asked about the other riders.
Everything had seemed so perfect. Lou was happy and he felt so lucky for her to be his. In town she had gotten many admiring looks. She even seemed to feel comfortable dressed as a woman again. Her brother and sister didn't act like they held a grudge at not being at the wedding or for what had happened when their father had taken them.
He sighed drawing Lou's attention from where she was tucking the two in on a pallet under the wagon for the night. He smiled at her. She returned his smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
And that was the problem. Everything had been prefect until they had stopped at the store in St Joe for supplies on the way out of town. Now even over halfway home she was still upset.
He could still hear the conversation the two men were having in the store and see the happiness slowly fade from Lou's eyes as she listened to them too.
"They fired on Ft. Sumter, ya say?"
"Yep, last week. War's started. Jessup's boy left for Georgia yesterday and Donaldson's are headed out for Illinois today."
"All of them?"
"Naw, Sally won't let the youngest one leave, just yet."
"Heard Adams headed back east, too. So's Henry. Don't know which side though. Just a matter of time 'fore all that's left will be women, children, and us old men."
"Yep, might give us older fellas a chance with some of the ladies."
As they paid for the supplies the men moved out the door and Kid had caught sight of Lou. She was trying to act as if she hadn't heard the conversation between the two men, but he knew she had.
Now here he sat staring at the fire and thinking about what he had told her. "…Leaving you will be hard but staying would be harder." Now he wondered if that was true.
His mind wandered to what he had left behind in Virginia and what he had here and now. Then he had a ma that was worn out from hard work and the insults his pa sent her way. A pa, that was a drunk at best and a thief at his worse. A man who thought a slap with his fist or a lick with a belt was easier to deliver than good advice. His brother, Jed was gone. He'd been taken by the war even before it had started. The few friends he'd had there were now gone. The land, it had never been theirs in the first place. In Virginia he had nothing.
Tears threatened to fill his eyes as he faced the truth…the truth that the only family he'd ever had was the one he would leave behind…the one he would fight against. Cody had already left to scout for the army and Jimmy had said he would head off to see what he could do soon. Noah was gone because of the war. Buck said he wasn't fighting in a fight that didn't concern him, because either way the end was near for the Kiowa. But it had been Teaspoon that had surprised him the most.
He had said he might return to Texas if asked but with Polly in Rock Creek, he was considering staying out of the war. But Kid had heard something more in Teaspoon's voice that told him there was no chance his mentor would be returning to Texas. Teaspoon wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
"Penny for your thoughts," Lou said as she sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder.
"Nothing much," he lied still staring at the fire. "Jeremiah and Teresa settled?"
"Uh, huh. They had a million questions. Jeremiah wanted to know if he could have a horse. Tessa wanted to know if I was gonna leave them again," Lou said her voice thick with her last words.
"They'll settle in quick, I'm sure," he said pulling her close. "They'll be selling the Express stock soon; we can get Jeremiah a nice horse from there." He paused a moment finally making up his mind where home really was. "Teaspoon's gonna be needin' another deputy when Barnett heads out next week to his brother's. He's asked Buck and me to take the jobs. Town's growing quick and the mayor said Teaspoon's gonna need more help with the trouble that's bound to come with the war. The station'll be for sale too. I think the company will let us buy it if you want." Lou didn't say anything so he continued, "Or we could head further west away from the war."
Lou finally found her voice, "Rachel's moving to the room behind the school since she's gonna be teaching all the time now. I was thinking about opening that shop Charlotte was talking about."
"Sounds good," Kid replied. He'd finally come to terms that Lou needed to feel like they were partners not like he was taking care of her. "We best be turning in, we'll want to get an early start if we want to reach home before dark tomorrow."
Lou didn't say anything as they stretched out next to each other on the pallet under the stars. After they were settled and she was snuggled against him, she finally voiced her thoughts. "What changed your mind?"
"Virginia ain't home anymore. Home is where your family is and mine is here," Kid replied, then kissed the top of her head. His voice took on a teasing tone as he added, "Besides I promised never to ride on without you. And knowing how mad you'd get if I broke that promise…well, it'd be more dangerous than the Yankees in Virginia could ever be."
Lou slapped at him and he laughed. Smiling she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come. Her last thoughts before sleep claimed her for the night was, 'Smart man.'
Thanks to my beta, Dede. Couldn't keep doing this without you.