Coming out of the saloon, James Butler Hickok stopped as the stage came rolling up and he could not believe his eyes. There on the driver’s seat was the friend and woman he had left behind in Rock Creek years earlier. Even though her hair was longer now and her face sadder than he could ever recall, he would have known her anywhere.
“Calamity, what the heck do you mean rolling in here like that?” the angry stationmaster shouted.
‘Calamity?’ Jimmy was sure that it was Lou.
“Well, it was either that or let them outlaws stop the stage. You know that’s not gonna happen. Besides, I had control of the team the whole time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink to wash this dust outta my throat. By the way,” she said turning to her passengers, “welcome to Deadwood, ladies and gentlemen.” With that she threw down the last bag from the stage, jumped down and headed toward the saloon, the crowd of men that had gathered following her in.
Around him, Jimmy heard snickers and out right laughs, as she told the story of outrunning the outlaws to her admiring crowd. But for him it was all drowned out by the memories that came flooding back. Memories of the girl he had mistaken for a boy. The day he and the others had discovered she was a girl and the sudden attraction he had felt. She had been and still was amazing to him. The kiss that they had shared that one and only time. The evening of dinner and the fair, when they had danced in the street. The fear and loss he had felt when later she had disappeared. The terror of seeing a noose around her neck, and the man that would kill her to get to him. The relief when she was finally safe. And the absolute loss when he realized he wasn’t the one she would choose to spend her life with.
By the time the memories had passed, he noticed he was standing alone just outside the swinging doors of the saloon.
“Calam, that was some might fine drivin’,” he heard a miner say.
“Yeah, where’d you learn to drive like that?” another asked.
“Well, boys, I’ll tell you. I learned it while ridin’ for the Pony Express. A real gentleman by the name of Teaspoon Hunter taught me his bag of tricks for keepin’ out of trouble,” she bragged.
“No, girl ever rode for the Express.”
Jimmy smiled as he heard that last remark from the back of the room. Before he could defend her though, he learned she had not changed a bit, and was still able to take care of herself.
“Curtis, are we gonna argue this again? I’m too tried today so just shut up. Now boys, the stage is leavin’ early tomorrow morning so I’ll be turnin’ in now. Don’t get too rowdy tonight I need my sleep. Night all,” she said as she turned and walked out the doors and right past her old friend.
Jimmy watched her walk out of the saloon and down the walk.
‘It is Lou, and I know it but why is she going by another name? Where the hell is Kid? What’s happened to my friends? Why in hell is she here of all places, in this godforsaken town? She should be with Kid, raising younguns of her own. Not driving a stage. I have to find out what is going on.’ His mind raced in a million different directions trying to figure out what could have caused her to end up here driving a stage.
He started toward the hotel following her and stopped. She looked so tired and when Lou was tired you couldn’t talk to her. But something kept him moving. He’d just stay at the hotel tonight, he reasoned to himself, instead of his office, and be there when she came down in the morning.
As she walked into the hotel the manager called out, “Bath’s ready, and so is your room, Sarah will bring up dinner shortly, Calam.”
“Thanks, Earl. Anything important going on I should know about?” Lou asked.
“Oh, not much. We got a new sheriff, a famous gunfighter and a fella came by askin’ for you. He used to be with the Army, goes by Buffalo Bill. Said he wants to talk to you about workin’ for his Wild West Show,” Earl answered.
“I don’t know a Buffalo Bill and I guess a gunfighter is as good as anyone for sheriff. What’s on the menu?”
“Rabbit stew and fresh apple pie.”
“Tell Sarah to bring it and a bottle up in a half hour.”
“Will do, glad you made it back safe.”
“Me, too. Night, Earl.”
“Night.”
Lou slowly made her way up the stairs and toward her room. She had begun staying here when she took the job with the stage line. Earl and his wife, Sarah, kept the room ready for her when she was in town and were like family to her, just like the riders had been. Sarah was her only friend in town and the only one that knew her real name and what had happened to her. She had promised long ago never to reveal it to anyone.
Lou hadn’t intended to change her name it had just happened. A new name had just seemed to make a fresh start that much easier.
She stopped on the stairs suddenly. Her memories of the past began to push their way forward. ‘Why,’ she wondered, ‘after such a long hard day did this have to happen.’ She knew next would come the even harder memories, then the guilt and then…then she would start to drink to forget. She’d drink to chase away the memories and the fear that always came with them.
As she reached her room the memories flooded back. Rushing out of the church, the death of the boy that was to be her replacement. Kid pulling her away from the dead boy and holding her close. Noah’s death. Jesse riding away with Frank and Teaspoon calling after him, “Ride safe, son.”
Shortly after that Cody left with the Army to scout. Buck had returned to Red Bear’s village saying that the coming war boded no good for the Kiowa. And Jimmy, that skunk, had just ridden out one night, never even saying good-bye.
Kid and she had settled into Emma’s old place in Sweetwater and had started to build themselves a home. A short time later, word had come that the fighting was getting bad in Virginia and Kid felt he had to go back to see if anything was left of his family. He said he wanted to go alone; that it wasn’t safe, and he couldn’t do what he had to if he was worried about her. He had ridden out without her, breaking his promise never to do so again. She had let him go…let him go without telling of the baby she was carrying.
The first tears fell as she recalled the day the letter came. It had been six months later that it had been delivered, and that her life had changed forever. It told of how Kid had died trying to protect the land that his family had worked for years, not fighting for either side. She didn’t have to take the letter from behind the picture she kept of their wedding day. No, she knew it by heart. She lost their child that day…and shortly after she lost Lou. She’d never looked back when she left; she’d just saddled her horse and rode out. Just like Jimmy had.
Now she had a new life, in a new town, and a new name to go with it. She was Martha Jane. Called Calamity by some for the trouble she got in at times.
“Calam, you ready for supper?” Sarah called from the other side of the door.
“Yeah, just a minute,” Lou called back. She climbed out of the tub she’d been soaking in and wrapped the soft dressing gown around her as the door opened. “Can’t you wait just a minute, Sarah,” she snapped as Sarah opened the door. “I ain’t even decent yet!”
Passing the open doorway, Jimmy turned when he heard her remark. Lou looked right at him. He could tell she had been crying but also that she didn’t recognize the mustached longhaired dandified gunfighter with a badge as an old friend.
Sarah turned and winked at him as she shut the door with her foot. “Well, I guess you might be thinkin’ that the new sheriff doesn’t have anything better to do then look at a soaking wet stage driver,” Sarah teased.
When that didn’t get a rise out of Lou as Jimmy expected it should, he retraced his steps back to her door and eavesdropped.
“Sarah, where’s that bottle I ordered?” Lou asked.
“We’ve talked about this before and it ain’t gonna do you no good, gal. Brought you some good chamomile tea instead,” Sarah replied.
“Sarah,” Lou said quietly, sadness filling her voice, “it’s today, you see. It’s been six years ago today that I got the letter and lost my child. Only six years since I lost my child and my husband.” Jimmy could hear the tears in her voice.
“I know that, but a bottle won’t bring either of them back, girl. Here you eat this and I’ll be right back with something to help in a bit. Now eat up, from what I heard you’ve had a pretty rough day.”
Jimmy backed away into the shadows as Sarah left Lou’s room. “Ike, Noah and now Kid, all dead, all gone,” he whispered to himself. Slowly tears slid down his face as the mighty Wild Bill Hickok slid down the wall to the floor grieving for his friends all over again.
As his own sobs subsided, he heard Lou’s heartbroken sobs on the other side of the door. Not stopping, not knocking, not thinking, he barged through the door.
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Lou shouted at him.
“Doing what I should have years ago,” he said as he pulled her to him. “I would never have left if I knew what would happen, Lou. I’m so sorry. I wish I had been there for you,” he told her.
Pulling away from him, Lou looked up into his face. “What? Huh?” was all she could manage at first. He knew the minute she recognized him. He watched her expression change from surprise, to anger, to relief as she collapsed against him. “Jimmy, it is you isn’t it?” The relief she felt, not to be alone in her own grief finally, apparent in her voice. He watched, as the woman he’d seen driving the stage earlier became the girl he’d known.
“Yeah, Lou, it’s me,” he replied as he reached up and pushed her hair out of her face.
“Where’ve you been?”
“Everywhere, nowhere, you know me.”
“Yeah, better than most,” she replied as she reached up to touch his cheek. “Why’d you leave, Jimmy?”
“I had to,” he confessed, “I couldn’t stay it was too hard.”
“Noah’s death was har…”
He cut her off there tipping her face up to look into her eyes. “Lou, look at me. It wasn’t Noah’s death. It was seeing you so happy with someone else, even if it was Kid.” Jimmy smiled. He’d finally told her the truth and he was still alive, it hadn’t killed him.
“Oh, Jimmy,” she cried covering her face with her hands.
“It’s ok, it’s all going to be ok now. I’m here for you. I’m sorry about what’s happened but I’m glad you’re here. Maybe this time you’ll give me a chance to get it right.”
Staring at him, Lou knew what he meant and wondered if she could find the courage to, after all she’d lost; return the love she saw shining in Jimmy Hickok’s eyes.
Jimmy slowly leaned toward her and Lou closed her eyes.
Neither of them saw the man in the shadows across the street below as he watched them through the window of the room. Neither even realized that they were standing in front of the window. A myriad of emotions could be seen crossing the man’s face. Love, hate, envy, and jealously, just to name a few. He jumped when he heard a voice behind him.
“When are you going to let her know you’re alive?” it taunted.
And just like in times past he responded, “Ah, Cody, why don’t you just shut up and mind your own business.”
Chapter 2
“You know that you’re going to have to see her sometime. Let her know that you’re still alive. Hell, she’d still love you, and you know it,” Cody continued.
“Cody, I said shut up. I’m not going to, not right now anyway. She deserves better, a whole man,” Kid replied.
“So when are you going to tell her, after she finds someone else. That would be worse than what you’ve already done. She deserves to know that you are alive and not buried in Virginia. She loves you. I’ve seen the hell she’s gone through and she needs to know the truth. She won’t love you any less, knowing her she’d probably love you more.”
It’s too late, anyway. I think she’s done found someone else,” Kid said pointing toward the window where the couple was embracing.
“Well, it’s your own fault. You should have never let her believe you were dead,” Cody sneered. “Cause if what I heard at the saloon is true your worst fears of the past are coming true.”
“What in the hell does that mean?” Kid replied with a sinking feeling.
“If that man is who I think it is, seems Lou found our old friend Jimmy.”
Cody lost his power of speech as he watched the emotions that ran across Kid’s face. He could see in Kid’s eyes all the times Kid had fought Jimmy over Lou in the past. “Kid, I’m sorry, but you have let her believe you’re dead. Maybe he’s just being a friend.” Even as he said it, Cody didn’t even believe his words himself.
Kid turned away from Cody and looked up at the window again. Pointing toward it, he replied with a frown, “You don’t kiss a friend like that, Cody.” He turned and limped away into the dark, the leg that was once strong now dragging behind almost useless.
Oh, God,” Cody said out loud. He knew only one person who could possibly help. He went to the telegraph office and began banging on the door as hard as he could.
This brought an aggravated operator to the door. “What do you need?” he snapped.
“I need to send a telegraph, NOW!”
“At this time of night, is it an emergency?” the operator asked becoming even more annoyed.
“You could say that,” Cody lied.
“Then come on in, but make it quick. I need my sleep.”
Cody filled out the form. It read
Big trouble. Come quick. Deadwood, Dakota Territory. Help. Lou, Jimmy, and Kid in trouble.
“Send this to these people—Buck Cross at the Sioux Reservation, and Mr. and Mrs. Teaspoon Hunter in Rock Creek Nebraska.”
“Ok, first thing in the morning,” the operator replied.
“No, NOW,” Cody demanded in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Ok, ok,” the operator said holding up his hands, “but your friends won’t get this ‘til tomorrow anyway.”
“Now,” Cody said with venom in his voice, his hand on the gun at this waist.
When the operator finished, Cody thanked him, paid, and left two tickets to the evening show. Now all he had to do was wait on Teaspoon, Rachel, and Buck. Together they would be able to straighten this mess out. Least ways, he hoped they would. Right now though he had to find Kid before he picked a fight - or even worse - got drunk again.
Chapter 3
After leaving Cody staring up at the window of the hotel Kid stopped by the saloon and bought a bottle of whiskey. Seeing Lou with someone else, even when she believed him dead, hurt him to the core of his being. If it felt like a punch to his gut to see her with someone else, it was like being burned all over again to see her with his best friend Jimmy Hickok. ‘How long have they been together?’ he wondered. ‘Did she even wait until she had been told that he was dead to take up with Jimmy? Or did she run to Jimmy as soon as he had left for Virginia?’ The questions raced through his mind faster than he could find answers.
He looked at the bottle in his hand as he settled onto the cot in the tent he shared with Cody at the show. ‘Just one drink to stop the pain,’ he thought. ‘Just one.’ He started to lift the bottle to his lips and stopped realizing the mistake he was making. Drinking never had fixed things, or made the pain in his leg go away or removed the scars from the burns he had suffered. It couldn’t even fix the mistakes he had made since leaving Rock Creek and Louise. He was startled back to the present when he smashed the bottle in his hand against the small table beside his cot.
He looked down and saw that the bottle had cut a gash in his palm. He just stared at the blood that had begun to pool there and memories from the past assailed him. The battle cries he had heard that April morning so many years ago still fresh in his mind. The smell of burn gunpowder and the gray haze that had darken the sky flashing before his eyes. He saw too the pond where he had fished as a boy turn red, stained by the blood of men and animals seeking a cooling drink from its water. Both sides had destroyed the land but forever marking it as hallowed ground. They battled there for three days near his family’s farm. The battle had been horrendous and many lives had been lost. Many lives had also been altered forever by the scars the battle had left on body and mind, including his own.
Kid looked down at his leg, the one that barely supported his weight anymore, wanting to scream. He recalled the bullet that had slammed into it and the pain that had coursed through his body. He was lucky that he still had the leg, he knew, but he sure didn’t feel lucky. The useless leg caused him to feel that he was less than a man. There were also burns on one side of his face from his forehead to his chin. He tired to keep them covered with his beard, but they were still noticeable. These physical scars he could have dealt, it was the ones in his mind that were unbearable.
They were the nightmares of the death and destruction he had witnessed that still woke him in the middle of the night. He recalled waking up screaming in the field hospital crying out for Louise. He couldn’t make the memories of those three days go away. He couldn’t that is until he discovered the alcohol could dull them. He had a nurse write Lou when he realized he would be a cripple the rest of his life, and tell her that he was dead. He cried himself when he posted the letter and wanted to retrieve it. But then he saw his reflection in the mirror and decided it was best if Lou didn’t have to live with the monster he saw staring back.
He’d spent the next few years drunk most of the time until Cody had been passing through Virginia and Kid had gone to see the show. Kid been half drunk and was surprised that Cody had even recognized the scarred confederate solider as his friend. They had talked and he had told Cody about the letter to Lou and how she thought he was dead. Cody had offered him a job working with the horses of the show if he sobered up and Kid had accepted. “But,” he said to himself, “if I had known we’d be here I never would have come. I should have known Cody would try something like this.”
He washed and bandaged his hand and lay down on his cot. “God, Lou, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.” Turning to face the wall he fell asleep never hearing Cody return.
*******
Lou woke with a start, someone was holding her and they were in her bed. Panic swept through her like wildfire until the memories of the night before came flooding back. The arms that held her belonged to Jimmy. She recalled them talking until almost dawn. They had finally fallen asleep, still fully dressed, with Jimmy holding her after she had told him of the letter and that awful day that her world in Rock Creek had shattered.
Jimmy pulled her closer as he began to stir. And Lord, did it feel good, not to mention right. She couldn’t remember the last time she was held like this.
“Good morning,” she heard him whisper next to her ear.
“Good morning,” she said as she looked up at him. “How long have you been awake?”
“A little while.” Jimmy looked down into her eyes and saw that they weren’t as haunted as they had been the night before.
“I’ve got to get going,” Lou said as she started to rise. “The stage has to pull out soon.”
“Get someone else to make this run,” Jimmy replied. “Besides, Dobbins was complaining yesterday before you arrived that he needed some extra cash.” He noticed the question in her eyes before she asked and added with his trademark cocky grin, “Especially since I cleaned him out at the poker table a couple of nights ago.”
“I still need to tell Hank and make the arrangements.”
“No, you stay here and I’ll take care of everything.” With that he got up, strapped on his guns, pulled on his coat and started for the door. He turned back around before he reached the door and walked back to her. “I meant what I said last night. I love you, Lou, always have. I’m not going to let you get away this time. You stay put, I’ll be back shortly.” He leaned down, kissed her and left.
Lou sat stunned as Jimmy walked out the door. “Lord, what am I gonna do?” she asked out loud as she pulled the covers over her head. Jimmy Hickok had found her, chased away her nightmares and declared he loved her all in one night. If she were true to herself she had to admit that at one time there had been a spark or two between them. He had kissed her that one time, and he had been there when Kid had taken up with Samantha. “What am I gonna to do?” she repeated to the empty room. Slowly though, a true smile began to touch her lips for the first time in years.
******
Rock Creek was just beginning to wake up as a young boy walked into the marshal’s office. “Marshal, I have telegraph for you and Mrs. Hunter.”
Teaspoon looked up from his paper. “Now who would be sending us a telegraph?” he asked no one in particular. It crossed his mind that one of his boys might be in trouble. He took the paper from the boy and handed him a nickel. “Now behave yourself Tommy and you can stop by later and I’ll tell you about the Express and my riders.”
All the boys at the school loved to hear Marshal Hunter’s stories about the Pony Express and the riders it had employed. “Thanks, Marshal. I will.” With that the boy ran out and toward the school.
Rachel came through the back door about the same time. As she slipped her arms around her husband, Teaspoon smiled. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a telegraph, darling,” he drawled.
“Who’s it from?”
“Don’t know. I haven’t read it yet.” He opened the paper up and began to read.
Since she had read the telegraph over his shoulder Rachel said, “Book the first stage out. I’ll have the bags ready by then. Tell Jake, not to screw up while you’re gone this time.” She headed out the door and back to their home to pack.
Teaspoon was right behind her. He made it to the ticket office right before the agent arrived. “Al, I need two tickets for Deadwood, Dakota Territory, today. Family emergency.”
“Sorry, Marshal, but the next stage doesn’t leave until tomorrow morning.”
“Then I’ll take ‘em. Have you seen my deputy around ‘bouts?”
“Last time I saw him he was flirting with one of the new girls at the saloon.”
“Thanks, Al. Make sure that stage is ready to leave on time.”
“Will do, Marshal,” Al agreed.
As Teaspoon came through the door of the saloon, he spotted Jake at the bar. “Jake, you have to hold down the fort for a few days. We have a family emergency. I’m leaving you in charge until I get back. Try not to lock up the whole town like you did the last time.”
“Who’s it this time?” Jake asked the sarcasm evident in his voice. “No, let me guess, Hickok’s in trouble again and needs you to bail him out.”
Not in the mood for Jake’s sarcasm, Teaspoon growled, “Just take care of things ‘til I return.”
“Alright, Marshal. Don’t worry everything will be nice and quite,” he replied raising his glass.
“That’s why I’m worried.”
Teaspoon and Rachel spent the night in the jail since it was empty and closer to the stage depot, but sleep didn’t come. They held each other close and whispered of what the problem could be. When it came to Lou and the “boys”, only one being knew and the good Lord hadn’t seen fit to clue them in yet.
********
In the Badlands of Dakota Territory, near a canyon, an army operator
handed Buck his telegraph. Buck read it and headed back to camp. He
went straight to his tent, acknowledging the few friends he had made
there with a wave as he did so. He gathered his belongings quickly and
went to the major’s tent. “I’m leaving.”The major looked at him in disbelief. “You can’t leave. We still need you to negotiate the treaty.”
“No you don’t. Little Bears can translate the terms the chiefs will accept. My family has telegraphed that there is trouble and I’m needed. I’ll be back when I’m done,” Buck stated flatly.
“Family emergency?” the major asked following Buck to his horse
“You could say that,” Buck replied as he mounted his horse. “It looks like one of them has come back from the dead.” Turning his horse he headed for the small town on the other side of the territory.
Chapter 4
A couple of days later Kid woke with a start. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the last couple of nights because each time he closed his eyes he saw Jimmy holding Lou. Jimmy kissing Lou. He watched from a distance – never close enough for Lou to see him or he had Sadie, the lady that made up the actors for the show, fix him up to where Cody hadn’t even recognized him – as they had become closer. He couldn’t stop the feelings of jealousy that led to him being in a constantly foul mood.
“Come on Kid. We’ve got a show in a few hours and that new horse needs a work out,” Cody called from the table in the middle of the tent, where they shared their meals.
“I’ll be there, Cody,” Kid growled, as he rose from his cot and made his way over to the table.
“Sober.” It wasn’t a question but an order. “I don’t need any drunks,” Cody snapped back. “Not with family here.”
“I’ll be sober, don’t you worry.”
“You gonna to tell her?” Cody asked getting to the question he really wanted the answer to.
“You know I can’t,” Kid said as he tried to ignore his friend and eat what he could of his breakfast.
“Bull, Kid. You can but you won’t,” Cody replied as he rose from his seat, threw his napkin on the table and stormed out.
Cody decided it was time to pay the sheriff a visit. Especially since the mayor had informed him a couple of days before that he would have to have the sheriff’s permission if he was going to keep the show set up on the outskirts of town. He‘d set out to find the sheriff a few days before, and as he had started past the stage office, the stage had rolled in and to his surprise he discovered Lou was the driver. He’d heard about her from several of the town’s “proper” ladies who had stopped by his show but he had no clue that Lou was the Calamity they thought would be perfect for his show. Of course they had only wanted her out of town because they didn’t feel that she was the proper influence on their daughters.
He’d watched silently, no small feat for him, as Jimmy, who he was also surprised to see, had followed Lou back to the hotel and inside. He had returned to the street not wanting to intrude with their reunion. That was when he’d run into Kid across the street.
He paused for a moment considering how screwed up things had become in such a short time. Shaking his head as he approached the sheriff’s office and jail, he returned his thoughts to dealing with the sheriff about the show.
Of course the mayor was right, some of the folks he hired did have a past and you never knew when one might turn up wanted or one might have had his - or her – name cleared. He hoped that still being riled at Kid wouldn’t cause him any trouble when he dealt with the sheriff. Reaching the jail Cody stepped into the open doorway and stopped dead in his tracks. He was stunned, he had never noticed the badge Jimmy was wearing a couple of days ago when he had saw Jimmy follow Lou back to the hotel.
Jimmy was arguing with the deputy. “All I’m saying Davis is that you can’t go locking Evan up every time he gets drunk. Hell, he’d spend half his life in here if you did. Now you are going to explain to his wife why you didn’t just take him home.” Jimmy punctuated the last of his speech by poking the deputy in the chest.
“Me? But Sheriff….” He began but Jimmy interrupted him.
“No, buts. I’m tired of you screwing up. Now, git!” Jimmy all but hollered. “And I’m taking the day off. I’ll still be in town but only if it is an emergency.”
The deputy pushed past Cody as he rushed out of the door. Cody was dumbfounded. ‘When had Jimmy become sheriff?’ He turned back around when Jimmy asked, “Somethin’ I can help you with mister?”
“Maybe…” Was all he was able to say before Jimmy grabbed him giving him a bear hug. “Cody!” he exclaimed, “When did you arrive? It’s been too long.”
“We arrived a few days ago. The mayor said I’d have to have the sheriff’s permission to set the show up outside of town. Now that I see the sheriff is my old friend Jimmy Hickok, I don’t think that it’ll be a problem. So do I have your permission sheriff?”
“Keep your people in line and I don’t have a problem with it,” was Jimmy’s business reply. “So you’re the Buffalo Bill that everyone is talking about. Guess you finally got your show off the ground. Congratulations.”
“Thanks. How long have you been sheriff here? I heard that Wild Bill was here but not that you’d taken up the badge again.”
“A few weeks. Hey, guess who else is in town.”
“Who?” Cody asked pretending not to know Lou was in town also.
“Lou. She’s driving for the stage line. I guess you know about Kid,” Jimmy’s voice took on a sad note that spoke volumes to his old friend.
Cody couldn’t look Jimmy in the eye and lie to him. Looking out the window he replied, “Yeah, I heard he was killed in the war.” Looking back at Jimmy, Cody was tempted to tell him the truth, but he’d promised to keep Kid’s secret. Though being Cody, he began thinking, ‘If Jimmy found out on his own, or accidently, then Kid can’t say that I had anything to do with Jimmy finding out that Kid’s alive.’ Cody was amazed he hadn’t thought of this before. “Say, why don’t you stop by my tent later for a drink. My tent’s in the center of camp. We can catch up.”
“Well, I do have some plans for later with…” Jimmy wasn’t sure quite how to phrase the rest. ‘How do I tell him? Look Cody, I’ve run into Lou and I’m falling in love with her all over again and since Kid is gone I might have a chance with her. Will he understand that I never acted on the way I felt before because of Kid?’ Jimmy looked back at his friend, “Sure and I’ll bring Lou with me.”
“That’d be…uh…great.” Cody tried to sound enthusiastic, but it just didn’t reach his voice. This wasn’t working out the way he wanted it to and if Lou came with Jimmy all hell could break loose. Not that it wasn’t going to any way, but he just wanted Teaspoon to be there when it did. He was the only one that could possibly keep Lou from killing Kid when she found out he’d lied to her.
Jimmy picked up on Cody’s unease and became angry. “What is it, Cody? Don’t you like Lou anymore? I know some folks, especially the “ladies”, around here think she’s nothing but trouble but she is our friend.”
“What?! Of course I like Lou. She’s like a sister to me. I was just thinking…” Cody thought quick of a reason Lou might not want to come to the show, and used the first one that came to mind, “…that maybe she wouldn’t find it all that interesting since she’s more ladylike since the Express ended.” Cody took a deep breath of relief when he finished. ‘That was close,’ he thought.
“Oh, you’d be surprised. Like I told you before she’s driving for the stage line now and hasn’t changed a bit,” Jimmy said with a laugh that showed his good mood was returning.
Cody decided it was best to play dumb even though he’d seen her on the stage the day before. “I knew she’d left Rock Creek, after they got the news of Kid but I thought she’d find a more ladylike profession.”
“Are you saying she ain’t ladylike?” Jimmy said feeling like he had to defend Lou, even from Cody.
“Jimmy, you sure are being touchy today. You know what I mean. Besides I saw you last night,” Cody replied becoming a bit angry himself. Jimmy didn’t even catch on that Cody already knew Lou was in town, especially since Cody really caught him off guard with his next remark. “You ought not stand in front of windows with the curtains open.”
Jimmy’s face turned red this time from a blush and not anger. A smile turned the corners of his mouth up as he replied, “Oh, you saw us. Kind of forgot about the window.”
“Well, why don’t you two stop by later and we can talk about old times? While you’re at it let up on that deputy of yours he can’t be any worse than Barnett was…or we were,” Cody teased his friend. His mind though was screaming that he should have contacted the others sooner. How could he have ever thought he could handle this on his own?
“Sure. It’s good to see you again, Cody,” Jimmy replied with a slight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He felt uneasy, but wasn’t sure why. Something just didn’t feel right. ‘Oh, well,’ he thought, ‘maybe it’s just that it’s only the three of us here. It’d be better if the others could have been here, like a real reunion. That must be it, I’m just missing the others.’ Even though he had reached that conclusion, Jimmy still felt that something wasn’t right.
Jimmy and Cody hugged again as Cody stated that rehearsal had started and he needed to be going. Just as he turned to leave Lou walked into the jail carrying a basket containing breakfast. “I couldn’t…” she stopped as she noticed Cody standing beside Jimmy. “Cody!” she exclaimed as she hugged him tight, “what on earth are you doing here.”
Jimmy spoke for him, “He owns the show that’s outside of town.”
“That’s yours?” she asked in wonder.
“Yeah,” Cody said with pride but a bit uncomfortable. This was Lou and he hated not being able to tell her about Kid. She deserved to know, but he couldn’t go back on his word.
“So you must be the Buffalo Bill that was asking for me at the hotel yesterday?”
“That’s me. I really didn’t know it was you. Just thought this female stage driver I heard about would be good for the show,” Cody replied jovially but he turned serious a moment later, “I’m sorry to hear about Kid. You doin’ ok?”
“Yeah, somewhat,” Lou replied as she shyly looked at Jimmy. “Better today though.”
“Well, I really do need to get back. Can’t have a rehearsal without the star of the show.”
“No, stay for breakfast with us, it’ll be like old times,” Lou begged. “There’s plenty.”
“Are you sure, Lou?” Jimmy asked laughing. “This is Cody after all.”
“Enough, even if it is Cody,” Lou said with a laugh and a smile that lit her entire face like it used to. The two men looked at each other smiling, it was good to hear their friend laugh.
****************
Kid watched the scene from across the street wishing he could be a part of it. He knew he couldn’t, not now or ever. All because of that letter he had sent Lou. ‘No,’ he reasoned in his mind, ‘it’s because of the scars the war left me. Oh, Lou, how do I tell you that I’m alive?’ He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t realize how long he had been standing there. He was jarred back to reality when he heard a familiar scream come from across the street. Kid looked up to see Jimmy and Cody kneeling down in the doorway of the jail beside Lou. For a moment he started to run to her.
“Lou, LOU! Answer me Lou!” He heard Jimmy shout fear filling his voice and carrying the sound across the street.
Cody looked around and spotted Kid. Even with a beard and the scars on his face, she had recognized him. “I’ll get the doc, you get her back inside,” Cody said as he left and crossed the street heading straight for Kid. “Damn it, Kid,” he growled as he rushed passed him, “Get the hell out of sight before Jimmy spots you, too.”
Kid pulled his hat down low and started back toward the show. She had seen him. ‘Oh, God, what am I gonna to do now?’
*************
A short time later as the doc examined Lou, Jimmy asked, “Is she alright, Doc?” He was very concerned since Lou just lay there not moving. She’d never fainted before, not in any of the fights they had been in together. She’d always held her own, even in the worst of the gunfights they had been in.
The doc himself was wondering what could have caused the young woman to faint. She hadn’t in the whole time he’d tended her wounds. She’d been shot last year and still managed to bring the stage in afterwards. She’d never even fainted then, and he’d seen wounds like that make a man twice her size crumble to the floor. “From what Mr. Cody here told me, I think something might have scared her. What I can’t say, since she’s always seemed to be a pretty tough bird. If it was something that scared her, this here should wake her.” Pulling out a bottle, he uncorked it and passed it under Lou’s nose.
Lou gasped and sat up pushing the doc away as she did so. It took a moment for her mind to clear, when it did she looked at the men around her and asked, “Did you see him?”
“See who?” Jimmy asked as Cody led the doc away thanking him.
“Kid, it was him, across the street. He had a beard and looked awful but it was Kid, Jimmy. I know it.” The love Jimmy saw in her eyes broke his heart, her feelings for Kid still ran very deep.
“Lou, Kid’s dead. Remember? Remember what you told me the other night about the letter, and losing your baby.” Reaching out he touched her cheek. “Honey, don’t you remember?” Jimmy asked concerned for the woman he’d always loved.
“Like I could ever forget,” she stated flatly, the light in her eyes dimming a little more.
“You lost a baby, Lou? When?” Cody asked bewildered.
Quietly Lou answered his question. “Yes, it was the same day I learned of Kid’s death. The doc in town said it was the shock.”
“Lou, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry,” he said hugging her. He pulled back and looked down at her again. “God, Lou I’m sorry,” Cody said. He had to get out, get away from Lou, because it wasn’t just sorrow over her losing the baby but anger he was feeling. “Um, I forgot something at the show. I’ll catch up with you two later,” he said hugging Lou and then rushing out the door. He wasn’t sure where he was headed until he arrived at the door of the show tent. No one saw him standing there they were in the middle of rehearsal.
Stepping inside he shouted, “Out! Everyone out! Not you Sam.” Cody thought by the time it took everyone to clear out that he’d have calmed down some and not be so angry, but that didn’t happen. Instead, it just gave him mind time to replay what Lou had said. That she’d lost the baby the same day she had received news of Kid. Cody watched as the new lady trick rider left.
“What’s up, Cody?” Kid asked coming up behind him.
Whirling around, Cody swung, hitting Kid in the jaw. Kid landed on the ground looking up, bewildered, at a furious Cody. “Where would you like me to start, Kid? The fact that you’re a damned fool or could it be that you let your wife and the rest of us believe you were dead for so long? Or how about the fact that when Lou got that letter you sent, she became so upset that she lost the child she was carrying?! YOUR child!”
Kid scrambled to his feet. “What do you mean?”
“She lost your baby. What don’t you understand about that?” Cody exclaimed.
“She wasn’t carryin’ when I left. She would have told me!” Kid reasoned, positive that Lou would have told him she was expecting.
“What? And have you stay because of it and not do what you felt you needed to. Get real, Kid! You know she wouldn’t have done anything to stop you from going,” Cody replied. “She knew what Virginia meant to you.”
Kid couldn’t answer Cody right away because he knew Cody was right. “Look, why don’t you mind your own business and let me take care of my life my way, Cody!” It sounded bad even to Kid but he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“I can’t do that because, like Teaspoon told us long ago, family’s family and family sticks together. And because we all stood back and let you have your chance with her. Or don’t you remember that day at Emma’s, the first time we all saw her in a dress. She wasn’t beautiful in the ways some girls are but she sure was pretty. You add that to what we already knew about how well she could ride, shoot, and fight, and hell, Kid, you get one amazing woman. We all fell in love with her that day. Or did you think I was kidding when I said Kid who?” Cody took a deep breath and Kid started to say something but Cody wasn’t finished. “I know ya’ll thought I was all about the adventure, joking around and showing off but I saw a lot, too. I can tell you why each of us thought that she was better off with you. Ike didn’t want folks thinking she loved him out of pity for not being able to speak. Buck didn’t want to force the stigma of being with an Indian on her. Me, I stayed away because she deserved better than me, someone who was grounded, someone who could put down roots. But you know what? Jimmy’s was the worst because he saw the woman and not just the pretty girl you saw. He loved her, but he felt he couldn’t offer a future without fear. He thought you could. He believed you would so he only ever offered her his friendship. He also didn’t want to lose you as a brother, ‘cause that’s the way we all thought of each other. So that is why, I won’t let you screw things up any worse than you already have.” Cody had lost some of his anger during his speech and the last was said with more calm.
“It’s my life to screw up,” Kid said but his voice betrayed him. Cody could tell he didn’t mean the words he was saying.
“But not hers,” Buck said from behind Kid. “You are alive!” Buck embraced his friends and then asked, “How could you have let us believe you were dead? It wasn’t fair to us, Kid. We’re your family, we wouldn’t have cared what you looked like or that you were injured. We’d lost so much already.”
Kid hadn’t returned Buck’s embrace and had pulled away quickly. “I didn’t need your pity,” Kid stated flatly.
“Why would we pity you, Kid?” came from the doorway behind Kid.
Turning Kid saw the man he’d loved as a father standing behind him and with him his wife and all the reasons he’d had before for telling them he was dead didn’t seem so good. He just stood there looking at his friends unable to tell them the reasons they wanted, needed and deserved to hear. Swallowing the lump in his throat he said, “My wounds, I didn’t think at first I would make it. Then the scars seemed so bad that…Hell, Teaspoon, I didn’t want pity. I didn’t want to see the monster I had become in Lou’s eyes every time she looked at me. I didn’t want her to carry the burden of my scars.”
“What about us, son? Is that why you let us believe that you were dead? Others came home with worse. It wouldn’t have been pity from us son, it’d been love.” Teaspoon looked at the two standing there, then back at Kid. “Since you are still standing, I assume that Jimmy and Lou don’t know yet.”
When Kid didn’t answer quick enough, Cody replied, “No, she doesn’t, but she did think she saw him or his ghost earlier today. She fainted, Teaspoon. Fainted! Lou’s never fainted.” Cody’s face was turning red as he thought of the events that had occurred earlier.
“Now son, settle down. I’m sure Kid will tell her soon enough and then we’ll get this all straightened out. Won’t we, son?” Teaspoon directed his question to Kid in a tone that told him Lou would know he was alive very soon.
Kid looked up at Teaspoon realizing that all his so called good reasons for writing that letter didn’t sound so good anymore. As a matter of fact, they sounded pretty self- centered the more he ran them through in his mind.
**********
At that moment Rachel, was having her own set of problems with another
of the boys. She had just run into Jimmy on his way to Cody’s tent.“Jimmy,” Rachel called, “my, it’s good to see you. It’s been far too long since you visited us.”
“Rachel? What in the world are you doing here? I thought you and Teaspoon were in Rock Creek,” Jimmy said.
“We were but we heard about Cody’s show and had to see it. Besides Teaspoon hasn’t takin’ any time off in ages. Now that you’re here it’ll be even better. By the way, I believe that Buck arrived just ahead of us,” Rachel was trying to distract Jimmy since he kept looking in the direction of the big show tent. She had to keep him away from Kid until Teaspoon had a chance to sort things out.
Jimmy heard shouting coming from the big tent about that time. “Is that Teaspoon and Cody arguing? Rachel, is everything alright?”
“Everything is just fine,” Rachel said as she took his arm and steered him in the opposite direction. “Cody was just excited to see us and Buck and him got to discussing the Indian part of the show is all. Buck thinks Cody needs to take it out or change it and Cody doesn’t want to. Teaspoon is trying to calm them both down,” she lied. “Is what Cody told me true, that Lou is here and working for the stage line?”
That got Jimmy’s attention. “Yeah, she’s over at the jail right now. She’s fine, I think.” His expression told Rachel how concerned he was about Lou.
“What do you mean you think, Jimmy? And just why is Lou at the jail?” Rachel asked, her tone firm.
“Didn’t Cody tell you what happened earlier?”
Rachel shook her head.
Jimmy rolled his eyes, leave it to Cody to make him explain something he was still trying to figure out. “She’s just resting there. Lou fainted this morning. Now, I know for some women that’s nothing unusual but, Rachel, this is Lou. We got the doc to stop by and he said that she was fine, but Lou, well,” he hesistated. “She swears that she saw the Kid. But Rachel, he’s dead.” Rachel could hear the confusion and concern in Jimmy’s voice. Anyone could have told he still cared very deeply for Lou.
“I’m sure she’s fine, Jimmy. Now come on. Let’s go see her. I haven’t seen her in a very long time.” Rachel was pleased that her arrival had distracted Jimmy from the shouts that came from the tent at the end of the street.
****************
They arrived at the jail moments later. Jimmy found out during their walk that Rachel had not seen or heard from Lou since she had left Sweetwater after Kid’s death.
When they reached the jail, Lou rushed up to Jimmy. “Did you find him?” she asked excitedly.
“Lou, like I said it wasn’t Kid. Cody and I both checked things out and it wasn’t’ him. Darlin’, please you can’t do this to yourself,” Jimmy pleaded with her.
“Jimmy, don’t treat me like I don’t know what I’m saying. I know that was Kid, he’s changed but…,” she trailed off as she looked up into his eyes. “Oh, Jimmy, I’m so sorry. I guess it was just my imagination.” The hurt she had seen in his eyes when she looked up at him broke her heart. He cared, she hadn’t really realized it but he really cared for her.
“Look who came to town to see Cody’s show,” Jimmy said changing the subject and trying to sound excited.
Lou turned and surprised to see Rachel standing so near. “And I brought my husband, Teaspoon with me,” Rachel supplied before Lou could ask. She tried to pretend that she hadn’t heard their conversation. It troubled her to known that Kid was alive and not be able to tell the couple.
“Husband?” Lou said excitedly. “When?” The day had started out so awful but seeing Rachel and knowing that Teaspoon was near held a promise that things were improving. Teaspoon would know how to help her sort out her feelings if Rachel couldn’t. She should have gone to them, she thought to herself, when she got the letter telling her that Kid was gone.
Rachel saw the confusion on Lou’s face and the guilt. She knew now was not the time for the young woman to feel either and tried to lighten the mood. “I left him trying to get Cody and Buck to compromise on the Indian part of the show.”
“Buck’s here? When did he arrive?” Lou asked.
“Yes, he’s here, and I suggest we leave him and Cody to Teaspoon for now and find some lunch. I’m starved, the waystations we stopped at are not manned by the best of cooks.”
While the three of them were having lunch and catching up on each other’s lives, all hell was breaking lose at the show.
**********
“Look,” Kid said becoming tired of arguing with Teaspoon, who didn’t seem to understand what he was saying.
“No, son, you look,” Teaspoon said, his tone implying that he would brook no argument to what he was about to say. “She has a right to know that you are alive. Now we both know she’ll be madder than a wet hen, make no mistake. She might, I believe, even try to shoot you, but she deserves to know so that she can get on with her life.” Then in a fatherly tone he added, “She deserves that much from you.”
“And just how do you suppose I tell her, Teaspoon. I saw her with Jimmy the last few days,” he sneered. “She’s already moved on.”
“Now that I haven’t figured out just yet,” Teaspoon replied. “But I do believe that we should let Jimmy know first, seein’ how he’s got the most to lose, if she decides she still wants you.”
Buck spoke up, “Kid you should have expected this. Lou was always close to Jimmy, even before you’re supposed death. He just wouldn’t let her get any closer because he thought of you as a brother. And that you would be better for her. If it had been someone not so close to him, heck even one of us,” he indicated Cody with a wave, “that she’d fallen for he wouldn’t have been so…uh…thoughtful. Would have probably fought us out right for her.”
Kid was amazed he’d been so blind. Had everyone seen the feelings that Jimmy and Lou had for each other? How had he missed it? “Thanks, Buck. That’s just what I needed to hear,” he answered sarcastically. “And don’t you think I already know that.”
“No, Kid, I don’t think you get it yet,” Cody said belligerently. “I still don’t think you get it. I don’t think you know how much either of them cared about you. Yeah, we made ourselves into a family but some of us were closer than others. Like Buck and Ike, you and Lou, but there was always something more between her and Jimmy. I’m not trying to be unkind here, but he respected her more than you ever did. She loved you but if you ask me, she didn’t belong with you. Like I told you earlier you only saw the girl, Jimmy saw the woman. And she’s one amazing woman.”
“That’s enough, Cody,” Teaspoon warned.
“Hell, Teaspoon, I’m done with helpin’ him,” Cody snapped. “He’s been feelin’ sorry for himself since I found him a few months ago. I’ve tried to help him and he won’t listen. You stand here givin’ him good advice and he doesn’t listen. So what are we suppose to do; stand here and feel sorry for him all day?”
Kid swung at Cody before Teaspoon could stop him. Cody went down to the ground and was on his way back up. Buck grabbed Kid before he could swing again. Teaspoon stopped Cody with a look as he got to his feet.
“Damn it, Cody, I told you before not to feel sorry for me. I did what I had to,” Kid bellowed.
Teaspoon answered before Cody could, “Then, son, you need to start acting like the man you don’t believe you are anymore. I saw worse than you have on others that came home. The only one feelin’ sorry for you is you.”
“Kid, listen to him. You know Teaspoon is telling the truth. You know he’s right,” Buck said as he loosened his grip on Kid.
Chapter 5
Rachel left Jimmy and Lou shortly after lunch with a promise to return with Cody, Buck and Teaspoon for dinner later. When she reached Cody’s private tent, the men were already working on a plan to tell Lou that Kid was alive. And thought things had settled down somewhat from earlier, Buck and Teaspoon still having to keep Kid and Cody from going at each other.
“Cody, you say one more time that Lou’s gonna shoot me and I just might put a bullet in you,” Kid warned.
“Ya think soundin’ like Jimmy is gonna change my mind about it,” Cody said and held up his hand when Kid started to answer. “All I’m sayin’ is that every gun with in reach needs to be hid or she could shoot you and then we’d have to deal with all the guilt she’d feel over it. Though, she shouldn’t after what….” Cody ducked as Kid took another swing at them.
“BOYS!” came the familiar shout that had stopped them in their tracks more than once. “Enough! Now we all have a lot to do and this ain’t settlin’ any of it. You can kill each other later.”
A few moments later they had all agreed that it would be best to tell Jimmy first. That way when it came time for Lou to find out, Jimmy would be over the shock and if she choose to, she could lean on him. Rachel was to keep Lou occupied while this took place, preferably on the other side of town at the dressmaker’s. They all realized that when Jimmy found out things were going to get very loud and quite possibly turn very ugly. They figured it would be best to make sure all the guns, including Jimmy’s Colts, were missing when Lou found out. This was left to Cody, since he was the one that kept insisting that Lou would shoot Kid when she found out he was alive. Though he said it with a smile, that implied he was joking, Buck agreed with Cody.
Later that day, when they were finished making their plans, they split up. Teaspoon thought it was best if Buck kept an eye on Kid, in case he changed his mind and tried to leave. They were all afraid that he wouldn’t face Lou and Jimmy. Even though he said they had convinced him to tell the couple the truth, they weren’t certain he would. Cody, Teaspoon, and Rachel went to find Jimmy and Lou.
They found them in the dining room of the hotel having what looked to be a very intimate conversation. Anyone that saw them could see the love Jimmy had for Lou was more than friendship. Not to mention the love that was beginning to shine in Lou’s eyes. They were holding hands and sitting very close.
“Teaspoon,” Cody said with dread, “this ain’t gonna to be easy. From the looks of things Jimmy’s gonna to be real hurt.”
Rachel, who was watching Lou replied, “He won’t be the only one. She’s let herself fall in love again finally.”
Teaspoon looked at the both of them then back to the young couple. “Well, it’s not gonna to change the fact that Kid is still alive and Lou’s still married to him. They have to know. Guess we better get on with it. Waitin’ ain’t gonna change anything,” Teaspoon said reluctant himself to hurt the man he considered a son and the woman he loved like a daughter.
As they approached the table, Lou looked up. Her face lit up even more when she saw Teaspoon. She jumped up and hurried around the table to hug him. “It’s been too long. I should have come home sooner,” she said hugging, his neck.
“Way too long, darlin’. I hear you’re drivin’ for the stage line. Can’t you find a good ladylike profession for once,” he teased.
“Not that pays as well, or that I can do as well,” she laughed back.
Jimmy was pleased to see Lou smile, really smile. He was sure she hadn’t done much of that over the last few years.
Teaspoon turned to Jimmy, “Glad to see you’re stayin’ on the right side of the law, son,” he said pointing to the badge Jimmy was wearing.
Tapping the badge, Jimmy replied, “Keeps me out of trouble. How you doin’, Teaspoon?” He stood and hugged his mentor.
“Just fine. Got me a good woman here and Rock Creek is now a quiet place since you boys moved on,” he teased. “I can’t complain.”
“Why don’t ya’ll join us? We were just about to order dinner,” Lou suggested. They all sat back down and Lou noticed that Cody was awful quiet. “Cody, is something wrong?” she asked.
Cody smiled, none of them could ever fool Lou for long. “Nah, just had a busy day so far. A few problems came up at rehearsal this morning. Say Jimmy, would you give me and Teaspoon a hand after dinner fixin’ ‘em. One of my hands quit today.”
Jimmy waited until the waitress had finished putting their dinner on the table before he replied, “Sure. By the way where’s Buck? Thought he was coming with ya’ll.”
“He stayed behind to work on a stubborn horse. It’s been one of the problems we’ve had all day. Won’t do what’s best for it. Keeps givin’ me problems,” Cody replied with a grin as he hugged Lou.
Teaspoon started choking at Cody’s comment, which earned both him and Cody a nasty look from Rachel.
After they finished with their dinner, the men excused themselves to head back to the show. When Lou went to follow them, Rachel called her back. “Lou I spoke to the dressmaker today and she agreed to stay late so that we could shop after dinner. Why don’t we get something special to wear to the show tomorrow?” she coaxed.
Lou stared at Rachel for a moment then turned to look at Jimmy. “Go, ahead,” he said with a wink, “it’d be nice to see you in a dress for a change.”
Lou beamed at him. “Okay,” she said with a giggle. “I don’t think Mrs. Anderson is going to be able to alter anything though. She’ll be too shocked at seeing me in a dress.” She covered her nervousness at having to deal with the old lady with the joke. Lou had insulted both her and her daughter not to long ago after they stepped out in front of the stage as she was pulling away.
She had to admit though, she wanted to look nice for Jimmy. She thought about how good he had been to her the last few days, which got her mind to wondering how kind he had always been to her. ‘Why haven’t I noticed before now?’ she wondered. She answered herself a moment later, ‘Because you were too focused on Kid, you fool.’
****
While the others were having dinner and then heading for Cody’s tent, Buck was looking for Kid. He finally found Kid in his tent. Buck was surprised when Kid turned from the mirror he was looking in. Gone was the scruffy looking beard and long hair. Kid had been getting cleaned up.
“I take it you’re not trying to run,” Buck said smiling.
“Nah, just figured I needed to clean up a bit,” Kid said as he turned back to the mirror to finish. That was when Buck got a good look at the scars from the burns. From the right nothing could be seen of them and Kid didn’t look much different than he had when they had ridden together. But the left side of his face was a different story. From his temple to his shoulder were burn scars that stretched his skin tight.
“How’d it happen, Kid?”
“I don’t remember,” Kid said staring at the scars in the mirror, his voice detached. “I was shot and lost consciousness. When I woke up my face was bandaged and my leg hurt like hell. They said I almost lost it and that I might not be blind in my left eye when the bandages were removed, but couldn’t promise anything. I don’t recall how it happened though,” Kid let the sadness he felt creep into his voice. “I should never have gone. Should never have left Lou alone.”
Buck tried to ease his friend’s pain, “You did what you had, too.”
“Yeah, but look at all the trouble it’s caused.”
“But you’re going to try and set things right, still, aren’t you?” Buck asked concerned Kid had changed his mind.
“I guess so. I just hope I don’t get shot in the process,” Kid said trying to lighten the mood. Though in the back of his mind he wasn’t so sure it was a joke. Jimmy and Lou, especially Lou, had pretty quick tempers and seemed to act before they thought sometimes.
Buck laughed with him, “Well, I don’t think that’ll be a problem since we’ll be there when you tell Jimmy. And Cody’s decided to lock all the guns in the safe when you tell Lou. He still thinks she might very well get mad enough to shoot you. And he isn’t joking.”
“Can’t say as I blame her. Can you?”
Figuring honesty was the best policy for now Buck replied, “No.”
Kid had just finished when Cody came through the door of the tent. “Well, I see you’re ready,” he said to Kid. “Jimmy’s over at my tent with Teaspoon.”
“I’ll never be ready, but I don’t have a choice in this anymore, do I?” Kid replied.
“No,” both Cody and Buck answered.
“Let’s get this over with. Condemned men don’t have to wait this long to hang,” Kid grumbled as he walked out of the tent with Cody and Buck following him.
They heard Jimmy and Teaspoon arguing before they even reached Cody’s private tent. “Damn it, Teaspoon, I’m not gonna take ‘em off,” they heard Jimmy say.
“Son please just do this for me. Take off the Colts for just a bit. You know I’ll let you have them back, I won’t let you walk out of here defenseless,” Teaspoon replied. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”
“What will I have to regret?” Jimmy said raising his voice. “Somethin’ ain’t right around here, Teaspoon, and I don’t like it one bit.”
Buck signaled for Cody and Kid to wait outside and entered the tent. As he did so he pulled his gun and poked Jimmy in the back with the barrel. “Hand ‘em over Jimmy. Teaspoon, our friend is losing his nerve. We need to speed things up.”
Jimmy pulled out the pearl handled Colts and handed them to Teaspoon. “What do you need to do? What are ya’ll up to?” Jimmy was mad. Here was Buck holding a gun on him and Teaspoon wouldn’t tell him what was going on. To top it all off he was sure when he found out what they were up to he wasn’t going to like it at all.
“Sorry, Jimmy, but it’s not just you we’re concerned about,” Buck said coming around to stand in front of Jimmy. “Besides, when we’re done if you still want to then you can take a swing at me.”
“Just tell me what’s going on,” Jimmy ground out. He was confused by everything that was going on, something wasn’t right. Looking at his friends, he tried to explain, “First, Cody acts weird when he saw Lou and me together the other day. Then you, Buck and Rachel show up out of the blue. Now Buck, you stand there holding a gun on me saying it’s for my own good. One of you needs to tell me what the hell is going on in my town,” he said as he sat down in a chair.
“I’ll tell you Jimmy,” a voice said from the doorway.
Jimmy turned to see the best friend he thought was dead standing before him. Not only his best friend but Lou’s husband. Every dream he’d had for the last few days came crashing down and he felt his heart breaking. “No,” Jimmy said quietly shaking his head, “you’re dead.”
Teaspoon walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Let him explain, son. Just listen before you do anything else.”
“Kid?” Jimmy said a deathly calm to his voice that hid his emotions. Though he spoke to Kid, Jimmy wouldn’t look at him.
“Yeah, Jimmy. It’s me.”
“You’re supposed to be dead.”
“I ain’t.”
“Lou doesn’t know.”
“Not yet,” Kid said walking farther into the tent and taking a seat across from Jimmy in another chair.
“Why? Why did you let her believe you were dead? She’s been through hell,” Jimmy informed him. “She doesn’t deserve it.” They all held their breath waiting for Jimmy to explode. He was too calm and they all knew it wouldn’t last too long.
“I thought that it would be better if everyone thought I was dead,” Kid said as he turned out of the shadows that hid his face. Jimmy saw the scars right off and understood what Kid was trying to say.
“But that doesn’t explain why. She loves you, always has. She wouldn’t have cared about the way you looked, just that you came home to her.” Jimmy had worked hard to get control over his temper but he felt the rein he had on it slipping away. “Kid, who wrote the letter? Someone trying to help you?”
Looking ashamed and knowing that the next admission would forever lose him Jimmy as a friend, Kid answered, “I wrote the letter.”
Shouts of denial came from everyone but Jimmy. Jimmy though took action and started swinging. He didn’t miss and Kid went down. Kid wasn’t going to let Jimmy clobber him and started swinging back. It took Cody and Buck to separate the two but not before the table was smashed and the chairs knocked over.
“You don’t know how it feels to look in the mirror and see a monster!” Kid shouted at Jimmy.
“The monster you see has scars, mine is my reputation!” Jimmy shouted back. “What I see is a man that gave up on the woman he loved because the man he loved like a brother loved her.” Jimmy wiped the blood from his chin. “You were dead. It was my chance to have a life with Lou, a life of peace. I won’t let you take that away from me!” Jimmy felt his world shattering, spinning out of control. “I won’t give her up to you again. You were supposed to take care of her, protect her! You don’t deserve her!” he sneered.
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I wish that I could change things? I can’t undo it but I want to make it up to her. Jimmy, I still love her no matter what you think. I did it all for her to protect her,” Kid said a wistfulness to his voice. Then he played his ace, “She is still my wife.”
His last statement had Jimmy all fired up again and Buck had to hold his arm to keep Jimmy from swinging at Kid again. Instead he sneered, “A wife that you cared so little about that you let her think you were dead for the last six years. A wife that you cared so little about that you didn’t even know she was carrying your child when you left. Was it worth it, Kid? Was Virginia worth destroying a good woman for? Did you know that she started drinking when she got here. So much so that most of the ‘good’ women in this town won’t even give her the time of day.” Jimmy took a breath and continued his tirade, “She’s still doing a man’s job, still can’t be that lady that she’s always wanted to be. You know what they call her here - Calamity Jane. Yeah, she even changed her name so none of us could find her. She had to lose Lou or lose her mind after that damn letter. You should have cared more.”
“What do you mean I should’ve cared more? Do you not see the burns? Do you think she wants a mon….”
Before Buck could stop him Jimmy had a hold of Kid by his shirt front. “I see them, hell, you can’t miss them. She wouldn’t have, she would have only seen the man she loved. I thought you knew her better than I did, that you would be better for her than I ever could be. But you know what? You weren’t….aren’t. And I won’t let you hurt her again!” he shouted as he pushed Kid away.
Kid stumbled but caught himself. “I don’t want to hurt her, Jimmy.”
“Then don’t return from the dead!”
“She has a right to know, son,” Teaspoon reasoned. “Besides that you couldn’t keep this from her for long and you and I both know it.”
“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Jimmy said crossing his arms and turning away.
Stepping in front of Jimmy, Teaspoon said in his fatherly voice, “Jimmy, son, I know this breaks your heart but Lou has a right to know. And,” this he directed towards Kid also, “I wouldn’t bet that any of us can say what she is going to do. She’ll be hurt, angry and Kid, I wouldn’t expect her to take you back. But Jimmy I don’t know if she could choose you either. She might feel it would hurt Kid too much and I don’t think she would want to do that.”
“But Teaspoon,” Jimmy started to protest.
“I know son, I was with you at dinner. Rachel will be here soon with her. Cody’s hid the guns by now.”
“Hid the guns?” Jimmy asked.
“Well,” Cody said, “I for one believe that if Lou is anything like she used to be – and from what I’ve seen she is – she just might shoot first and ask questions later. I don’t think we should let her do that. So I decided to have all the guns hidden.”
Jimmy smiled for the first time since Kid walked into the tent. “She just might, she just might do that.”
Chapter 6
As Lou and Rachel were finishing up at the dress shop, Rachel suggested they go over to Cody’s tent and show the men their new outfits. Lou was in such a good mood. It had taken Mrs. Anderson a moment to realize they weren’t playing a trick on her and for her to really help them with their purchases but she had come around. Now both ladies had two new dresses to show off and Lou couldn’t wait for Jimmy to see the new nightgown she had purchased.
It had almost seemed like old times, but she had never pretended to be a boy here. Though most folks they met on the street were surprised to see her in a dress, they were even more surprised at what a lady she could be. She used her manners and politely greeted folks she knew. As they walked along, even folks who usually snubbed her spoke to her or simply said hello. It felt good to be treated like decent folks were.
She barely heard what Rachel was saying.
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” she said, “I was lost in my own thoughts.”
“I was saying that you looked very pretty and that you haven’t changed much at all in the last few years,” Rachel replied with a smile.
“I haven’t?” Lou was surprised. She felt as if she’d aged a lifetime in the last few years.
“No, but you know the war changed all of us, inside and out. I have a friend back in Rock Creek, her husband changed so much during the war she didn’t even recognize him when he returned.”
“Oh, I don’t think I would have ever not recognized Kid.”
“Well, it looks like we’re almost there,” Rachel said as she spotted Cody ducking back into his tent. She took a deep breath and thought, ‘At least they got the shouting over with. I don’t believe I could have explained that. Lord, I hope they didn’t kill each other.’
As they reached the front of the tent, Rachel pushed the flap aside so that Lou could enter and then followed her inside. Teaspoon and Jimmy were standing in the middle of the tent talking and stopped when they saw the women arrive. Lou immediately noticed that Jimmy had his emotions hidden from her.
Stepping in front of him she asked concerned, “Jimmy, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. There’s just something you need to know and it’s going to come as a shock.” Jimmy looked into her eyes and added, “Don’t forget how much I love you. How much we all love you.”
“What is wrong?” Jimmy could hear the fear in her voice.
“Lou,” Kid said from behind Jimmy. “I’m sorry.”
Lou didn’t take her eyes from Jimmy, but started shaking her head as tears filled her eyes. “I’m imagining things again, right? If you move he won’t be there. He’s gone. Jimmy, he’s gone right?” Lou pleaded.
All Jimmy could do was step to the side. Lou wouldn’t look at where he had been standing, she looked to Teaspoon and then Rachel, as the tears over flowed her eyes. No one could meet her eyes. Not even Buck when she looked to him. Looking back at Teaspoon, she said, “It’s not him.” It broke the old man’s heart to see her hurting so bad.
Lou turned back to Jimmy and stepped in front of him. She could tell he was hurting as much as she was. Turning to face Kid she asked simply, “Why? Why didn’t you tell me you were alive?”
“I didn’t want you to see me like this. The burns, my leg. I didn’t want your pity,” Kid explain, and even to him his explanation sounded hollow.
Lou looked at him questioningly, “Pity? You didn’t want me to pity you. Why would I pity you? It was your choice to go to war. Your choice to leave. Your choice to ride on without me and break your promise to me. You…” she couldn’t finish. No one spoke a word as she gathered her thoughts. When she finally spoke there was an edge to her voice, “I lost our child. I had to leave our home, because your memory was so strong there. It was the first place we met.” She shook her head as the memories assailed her. “How could you doubt me like that?” Then in a voice that put fear into everyone in the room she asked, “Who wrote that godforsaken letter, Kid?”
“I didn’t doubt you. It was me and the way I was feeling,” Kid admitted. “It wasn’t about you.” The honesty he knew cost him but it also felt good to admit it.
Lou couldn’t let go though. Looking him in the eye she asked again, “The letter, Kid, who wrote the letter?” Lou knew in her heart she would always regret asking that question.
Looking down at his feet Kid replied simply, “I did.”
Lou backed up against Jimmy as if she’d been slapped. She reached around behind her for one of the guns she was sure he had. Her face fell as she realized they were gone. She looked at Kid, who was staring at her now, “Lucky for you. I thought you knew that I loved you for what I saw inside, not for what was on the outside. I thought what we had would last forever. I thought you believed in me. In us. I guess I was wrong.”
“Lou,” Kid started to say.
“Don’t,” she said hate blazing in her eyes, “don’t ever say my name again. Maybe in time I can forgive you for what you did. Maybe in time I won’t hate you as much as I do right now. Right now though, you have destroyed my world again. You did so the first time when you wrote me that letter. This time you waited until I chose to let someone else into my life…into my heart…to come back. Well, you maybe alive but you’re still a ghost to me.” She never looked back as she walked out the door.
Kid started after her. “Let her go,” Jimmy said his tone holding a warning. They looked at each other, trying to stare each other down. “Don’t ever go near her again. You’ve done enough.” With that Jimmy went after Lou.
When he caught up with her, he said, “Don’t you think you were a little hard on him?” He knew it was the wrong thing to say the minute it came out of his mouth.
“Hard on him? No, I don’t think I was. Actually, I believe he got off pretty easy, considering what he’s done,” she snapped.
Jimmy stood staring at her. The hurt showed clearly on her face and he was scared. He couldn’t think of anything to say to her. “Lou, I….”
Rachel walked up just then. “Louise, let’s get you home. I’m sure we can find some tea in the hotel kitchen.” She then prodded the young woman along the sidewalk. Jimmy followed at a short distance, not wanting to be too far away from Lou even now.
“I don’t think tea is going to fix this, Rachel,” she replied as she stopped in front of the saloon.
“Drinking won’t either. Now, it’s been an eventful day for all of us. You need to make some decisions and you need a clear head to do it with. Jimmy, I believe that Teaspoon could use your help,” Rachel said as she steered Lou toward the hotel.
“Um, I…” He could tell by the way Rachel was acting she wasn’t going to take any arguments from him. “Okay.”
“Jimmy,” Lou called, “I still love you.”
Jimmy stopped in his tracks, turned and walked back to them. “Don’t think this changes a damn thing. I love you and I won’t let you go as easily as I did before. He’s going to have to fight to get you this time.” He grabbed her then and kissed her with all the longing he was feeling for her. When he broke the kiss, he whispered, “You’re mine now and forever.”
Lou stood there for a moment watching him walk away. She turned back to Rachel, red staining her cheeks, and they headed toward the hotel. After stopping in the kitchen they made their way to Lou’s room.
“Rachel, how long have you known?” Lou asked.
“Only since we got Cody’s telegraph. It said there was trouble and you needed us. Cody’s the one that found Kid. I believe he was in a bad way when Cody found him,” Rachel answered.
Lou nodded. She couldn’t look at Rachel. As she stared out the window at the stars she asked, “Why did he do it? Why did he tell me he was dead?”
“I guess he thought it would be easier than coming home and you being ashamed of him or pitying him.”
“I never would have done that.”
“I know, but how do you feel now? Do you still love Kid or have you fallen in love with Jimmy?”
Lou looked at Rachel, tears running down her cheeks. “I don’t know, Rachel. I just don’t know,” she sobbed. “I’ll always love Kid, but I don’t feel the same as I used to. Jimmy brought me back, he made the hurt go away.”
Rachel walked over and wrapped her friend in a hug. “We’ll figure this out. I promise.”
************
Meanwhile Jimmy was having trouble of his own. “What Teaspoon?” Jimmy called as he entered the tent, having gone back when Rachel insisted that Teaspoon needed him.
“How are you doing, son?” Teaspoon asked.
“How do you think I’m doin’? Here I was trying to be a respectable citizen, hell, even sheriff. Lou was here and I had somethin’ I could offer her. Now, he’s come back from the dead and everything’s messed up. She can’t choose between us, I know that. I’ve always known that. That’s way I pushed her toward him last time.” Jimmy’s face went from anger to sadness as he said, “Teaspoon, I’ve got someone to care about besides myself now, I don’t want to give it up.”
Trying to explain things, Teaspoon said, “He didn’t come back to mess things up, son. He wanted to fix things.”
“He could have done that by staying away,” Jimmy replied once again crossing his arms tight against his chest.
“No, he couldn’t. Son, you know that’s not how Kid thinks. You know how bad he always wants to do what’s right.”
“He should’ve thought about that before he decided to write that letter and let us all believe that he had died,” Jimmy growled. “If he wanted to do what was right why did he wait so long? Why didn’t he just come home to his family?”
“Son, I’ve known a lot of men who after bein’ in battle didn’t think straight. War changes a man, especially men like the Kid. Give him a chance to make this right.”
“Teaspoon, he had his chance,” Jimmy all but shouted. He felt trapped. He had to get away from Teaspoon. “Look, in a way I can understand what he did, but that don’t make it right. He should have trusted that she loved him more.” After saying that Jimmy, needing to get away, left Teaspoon. He started toward the nearest saloon but ended up at his office. He plopped down in the chair behind his desk, trying to think of a way out of this, and how he could keep Lou. It was all up to her now and he honestly didn’t know whom she would choose.
It was late and he was getting sleepy so he propped his feet on the desk and pulled his hat down low over his eyes. Though sleep claimed him quicker than he thought it would, it wasn’t restful, as dreams, actually nightmares, kept him from really resting.
**************
In his tent at the show Kid wasn’t doing much better. He couldn’t sleep, even though he was bone tired. Though the burden of keeping his secret of being alive was gone, the nightmare he had created with his lie was just beginning. Finally, in the wee hours of the dawn, he fell into a fitful sleep, having finally decided what he wanted to do.
******
After only a few hours sleep, Lou awoke not really feeling rest but sure in the decision she had made. Rachel had stayed with her until Teaspoon came by late in the night and claimed his wife. She had only woken for a moment when Rachel had told her she was leaving. She reached for her clothes and quickly dressed and left her room. As she reached the bottom step, she looked for Jimmy in the dining room of the hotel. Sarah told her he hadn’t come in last night but had probably spent the night at his office. Lou left right away anxious to tell Jimmy of her decision. He needed to be the first to know of her choice she reasoned.
*******
Kid had been up most of the morning working, trying to keep his mind off of things. His work though wasn’t distracting him as he had hoped it would. He’d started many jobs, but someone else always seemed to finish them. He had been walking around checking on things for Cody as he started past Sadie’s tent voices of the day before crowded in on him.
“He just wants to set things right,” Teaspoon had said.
“I loved you, why couldn’t you believe in that,” Lou had said.
“She deserved…deserves better,” Jimmy had said.
He had been wondering how he could carry out his plan. Sadie could help him he suddenly realized. On impulse he called out from the door of the tent, “Sadie, you decent?”
“As I’m ever gonna be,” came a tart reply as a woman in her undergarments pushed aside the tent flap. “Come on in, sugar. What can Sadie do for you?” she asked as she ran her hand up his arm.
********
Lou walked into the jail with a bounce to her step. With each step toward the jail, she had become more certain of her decision. It took her only a moment to spot Jimmy. He sat just like Teaspoon used to, feet propped up on the desk and his hat pulled low over his eyes. She smiled. No wonder she loved him so much, wasn’t a girl supposed to be attracted to men just like her father. And that was just what she considered Teaspoon, her father.
She lifted his hat gently and he growled something in his sleep. She giggled and kissed his cheek. She squealed as he pulled her into his lap, kissing her deeply.
“Are you tryin’ to tell me somethin’? he asked hopefully.
“I do believe I am,” she said as she kissed him back.
Their happiness and conversation was suddenly interrupted by a shot from the direction of the saloon. Jimmy jumped up, setting Lou on her feet. He grabbed his guns from the hook as he rushed out the door, Lou right on his heels.
They ran into Buck at the saloon door and as they entered the saloon they heard a man shout, “I shot Wild Bill! I got the ba….” He stopped as he turned around and stood facing Jimmy. “You’re dead,” he stated stunned to see the man he believed he just shot standing in front of him.
“Not hardly,” was Jimmy’s overly calm reply. A scream pierced his ears before he could say anything more.
Turning toward Lou, he looked in the direction she was moving. He came up behind her as she was kneeling down and as she wept, he squatted down next to her to support her, anger filling him as he recognized the man on the floor. It was Kid made up to resemble him. The wig he had worn was covered in blood and laying on the floor next to him.
Jimmy reached for his gun, to kill the man that had dare kill his best friend, a man he loved like a brother. They may have fought, Jimmy may have never been able to forgive him for what he’d done to Lou but no one was going to kill his brother. But as he reached for the gun he grasped only air and was deafened by a sudden shot.
Lost in his own grief over what had just happen he hadn’t seen her stand up. Lou stood above him with his gun pointed at the man that had shot Kid. “You may have shot Wild Bill, but Calamity Jane shot you,” she said her voice dead. Then, suddenly she collapsed.
“Out!” he shouted, “Everyone get out of here now! Henry, lock the doors and don’t let anyone in.”
*********
Two dark and dreary days later, “Wild Bill” was laid to rest. People came for miles to bury the Pony Express rider, gunfighter, lawman and gambler. It was said that he died because Custer was lonely without his friend. Others didn’t believe that Wild Bill was dead they said they saw him, even though it looked as if he had shaved and gotten a hair cut, walking the streets of Deadwood with a beautiful young woman. Some even hinted that the young woman had been Calamity Jane. Though others said Bill had better taste than to take up with a woman like her.
Just before boarding the stage, Jimmy thought back to the day before. He had paid a final visit to his brother at the funeral parlor before he was buried. As he stood looking down at Kid he started to run a hand through his long hair but it was gone. He had it cut off and was clean shaven. Lou had been the one to cut it for him and watched, as he had shaved off his trademark mustache. As he had walked around town later, he had claimed to be a distant relative of the gunfighter and had helped plan the funeral they had given Kid. He tucked the note Kid had left him into the pocket of the suit Kid wore. “I’ll take good care of her, Kid,” he told his friend as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Wild Bill and Calamity Jane are no more, it’s just Jimmy and Louise now. You were wrong in your note, she always will love you just a bit more than she does me. I’d have never had a chance with her if it hadn’t been for you showing her she was worth loving. Thank you, my fri…brother.” Jimmy had quietly left the funeral parlor right after that.
Now they were boarding the stage that would take them back to Sweetwater and the land that had been the Express Station. They were going home. Lou still owned Emma’s old place and Jeremiah had been looking after it for her the last few years.
As the stage pulled out, the man across from Jimmy asked, “Sir, haven’t we met? I believe it was in Abilene.”
“I don’t believe so, haven’t ever been there,” Jimmy replied.
“You’re…I’m sorry, thought I was seeing a ghost for a moment. I’m David Samuels. Wild Bill helped me out once in Abilene when my freight line was being harassed by some young men trying to make a name for themselves.”
“Glad to hear my cousin was a help to you, Mr. Samuels. I’m James Hunter and this is my new bride Louise.”
The End
A/N – Thanks to my betas Lisa and Dee for all the help.