He stared down at the house and out building that had been his own home for a time. The white wash was gone from both the house and picket fence that had surrounded it. Shutters were hanging loose from the windows, while others were missing completely. One window was boarded over where it had been broken. The roof was sagging in places and bricks were missing from the top of the chimney. The porch was sagging like the roof and the steps needed repair.
As he watched from the hill confusion was written upon his face. He couldn’t understand how the place could have fallen into such disrepair. He watched as a man stumbled from the front door of the house and staggered to the gate of the fence that was hanging by just one hinge. He wondered if the man was hurt or ill. She appeared then and followed the man, hurt and anger in her eyes. She reached to touch the man but he pulled away from her touch. The man began to yell at her and even from this distance he could almost hear the words. The man couldn’t even stand straight as he yelled at the woman. Was it possible that the man was drunk, he wondered? Shaking his head he decided, that it couldn’t possibly be that. Still what could explain the man’s behavior if not that? Why was he behaving this way?
He stood stunned then as the man drew back his hand and slapped the woman with all his might, knocking her to the ground. He drew his gun on instinct, but before he could fire he saw the look of inner disgust on the man’s face as he turned in his direction. He recognized it from experience, he had worn it many times himself. He wondered what had caused the man to do what he did. When he had known the man, the man would never have done what he just did. On the contrary, he would have killed any man that had hit her. Come to think of it, he had twice. The first time had been when that crooked Sheriff had hit her, and the second was when the outlaw had held her hostage after she had followed them. Rubbing his jaw, he remembered that time very well and the anger that had been directed toward him for allowing her to follow them.
As the man mounted his horse and rode off, he watched as two children walked out on to the porch. She watched as the man rode off and then turned to her children. She held her arms open to them as they ran toward her. He watched as she cuddled them and whispered to them. As she looked in the direction in which the man had ridden, he saw the tears on her cheeks and sadness in her face, but then a quite calm seemed to engulf her. Even from this distance he could tell when the sadness turned to something else and a fire began to build in her eyes. He stood and watched as she walked back up to the house a furious determination in her stride.
A short while later he watched, as it seemed that the woman he had known before appeared. This time though, she had on pants like she use to wear and a gun strapped to her side. He watched as she carried something from the house and threw it outside of the gate, then make another trip into the house and do the same. He realized what she was doing then, she was throwing the man out. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, his best friends in so much pain and no one to help. He knew who could help though and if it was the last thing he did he would make sure they came. It was the least Jimmy could do for Kid and Lou.
Chapter 1
Jimmy had followed Kid earlier that morning and now sat in the saloon watching him. He just hoped he could keep Kid out of too much trouble till Teaspoon and the others arrived. Of course there was only his self, Cody and Buck left of the riders, but he knew they would come. In the short year and a half they had ridden for the express together, they all had become like a family. Even the war that had torn apart the country had not torn them apart. Of course Teaspoon and Kid had fought on the side of the south, saying they fought for home and memories and not slavery. He and Cody had found themselves on the side of the Union, and were thankful that they had never run into their friends in battle. Buck had chosen to return to the Kiowa and not get involve in a war that he believed could only bring more harm to the Plains People. Jimmy had sent for the others a few days before and they should be arriving soon. Jimmy shook his head as he watched his friend take yet another drink. Then someone blocked his view, looking up he couldn’t make out the man’s face. A familiar voice though, brought a smile to his face.“He been like this long?” Teaspoon asked.
“Since she threw him out a few days ago,” Jimmy replied, “he’s been here. But I think it goes back much further. He was drunk the day I arrived. And there’s more, Teaspoon,” Jimmy paused before he went on. He didn’t know how he was going to tell Teaspoon that Kid had hit Lou.
“Go on son, spit it out,” Teaspoon said with an edge to his voice. Teaspoon knew it was going to be bad if Jimmy was having this hard of a time telling him about it.
Unable to look Teaspoon in the eye, Jimmy said, “He hit her, Teaspoon.”
“And he’s still standing?” Teaspoon laughed uneasily. “She, or you, didn’t shoot him for it?”
“Nope. I have to tell you Teaspoon, ifin’ I hadn’t seen the look on his face when it happened I would have shot him myself,” Jimmy replied. “He’s hates himself, I don’t know why but he does. I’ve seen it before, and you have, too.”
“Um…I’ve seen it before,” Teaspoon said with understanding. He then tried to think of reasons for the change in the man he loved like a son, “It could have been the war. Then again, I’ve heard that they lost a child last year, and the ranch hasn’t been doing all that well,” Teaspoon reasoned.
“That don’t give him the right to do what he did,” Jimmy replied.
“I know,” Teaspoon said, “You say anything to him about what you saw?”
“No, I haven’t said anything to him. I’m afraid might hit him if he tried to give me any excuses for what he did to her,” Jimmy explained.
“How is she?” Teaspoon asked.
“ I haven’t talked to her either,” Jimmy said, “just saw her around. She seems to be doing ok. Thompkins tried to give her a hard time but she sat him straight. She’s still strong Teaspoon, just like she always was, but this has been hard on her. She loves him.” The lump Jimmy felt in his throat at those last words nearly choked him.
“Yes, she does,” Teaspoon said. “When do you expect to the others to arrive?”
“Soon,” Jimmy replied. They sat there watching Kid, knowing sooner or later he would need their help.
A few hours later Kid sank into a chair close to the bar. At the same time Jimmy about jumped out of his chair when Cody said from behind him, “How long has this been going on?”
“Awhile,” Teaspoon answered. “Thought you would be with that show you’re putting together?”
“Well, business is business and family is family,” Cody replied with a smile. “Someone I respect once told me that, and I try my best to live by it.”
“I think we all do,” came another voice to their group.
“Glad you could make it, Buck,” Teaspoon said not taking his eyes off of Kid. “You know of a way to dry him out quick?”
“Think I could come up with one,” Buck answered. “But he won’t like it.”
“He don’t need to,” Teaspoon answered in the well-known not-to-be-argued-with tone that the men around him knew all too well. “Well, boys, if you’re ready, looks like we have a job cut out for us. Cody, Jimmy, you two get him out to that old-line shack on McGee’s place. I’ll let him know we’ll be using it for a few days. Buck, you get what you need to fix him up and meet us there.”
Jimmy looked at Cody, “Hell, I wish he’d had you and Buck do this.”
“Why?” Cody asked.
“You don’t want to know,” Jimmy said with disgust as he walked over to Kid with Cody following.
When Lou opened the door of her home she was surprised but extremely pleased to see Rachel on the porch. “Hello, Louise,” Rachel said, surprised to find the young woman dressed once again in the clothes she had worn during her days with the Express.
“Rachel!” Lou shouted excitement lighting up her face. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you and that family of yours,” Rachel told her. She watched as Lou’s expression went from joy to sadness in an instant. Lou’s eyes filled with tears as she stepped into the sunlight on the porch. Rachel reached out and pulled the young woman to her whispering as she did, “We’re here now, honey, it’s going to be alright.”
Lou looked up at Rachel saying, “I don’t think it’ll ever be ok again.” Reaching up, Lou touched her swollen black eye. “He hit me, Rachel. I don’t know why but he did,” she told her friend.
Looking around the place she’d called home for a short while, Rachel was disgusted with the state of disrepair it was in. “He’s been drinking, hasn’t he?”
Lou started to lie but changed her mind; she felt she owed Rachel more than that. How was she going to explain everything to her though? She loved Kid with all her heart, and he had broken it completely into. He’d changed so much in the last few months. Finally she answered her friend. “It all started a few months ago when the deal with the army fell through. They decided to buy the horses and cattle they needed from a ranch that is closer to the Fort. The two hands we had quit shortly after that because we couldn’t pay them what we owe them.
“Of course losing Little Jed didn’t help things. He looked so much like Kid might have when he was a baby, Rachel. I mean at times you would catch them both with the same expression on their faces. Jamie looks like Kid a lot but well Jed he was Kid all over again.” Lou wiped the tears on her cheeks away with her sleeve, and then continued, “He started working later and later in the barn then. When the army didn’t come through, that was when he started going into town. The first time he came home drunk, he was pitiful, telling me how sorry he was, how everything was his fault.
“I guess it was about a month later I asked him to stay home instead of going to town and he refused. Told me that I had no business telling him what to do, and then he got on Katy’s colt and rode off. That time he didn’t come home for 2 days, and only then ‘cause the sheriff brought him out. The sheriff told me he owed the saloon five dollars, Rachel. Five whole dollars, I still can’t figure how he drank that much. Of course I paid the sheriff, and he was nice about everything, but still it was embarrassing.
“Kid swore when he woke up the next afternoon it wouldn’t happen again and how he was sorry that he hadn’t stayed home like I asked.”
As Rachel listened to Lou, she could hear when the overwhelming sadness turned to anger. Rachel knew that the marriage of the two people most believed belonged together was in great danger of being over.
Lou took a deep breath, “That lasted all of a few days. That time he’d went into town for supplies. When he didn’t return by dinner I became worried. So I loaded the kids up on Lightening and went into town to find him. Tompkins said he’d not seen Kid all day. When I stepped out of the store I saw the wagon in front of the saloon. I asked Jenny, she’d come home by then, to watch Jamie and Catherine for me while I went down there. Rachel, he was drinking with some hands from a cattle drive and wasn’t even thinking about his family.
“I got so mad, I took the wagon and left. I still have the money Charlotte left me so I used some of it to get the supplies we needed. I knew Kid would be broke. The kids were in bed by the time he got home that night. I’d never seen him that mad. He started yelling at me, wanting to know just who I thought I was taking the wagon. He threw that little figurine he gave me a few years back. When it shattered he said it was my fault because I’d made him so mad. I was stunned; I’d never seen him like that. That was the first time he hit me. He told me right away how sorry he was and that it wasn’t going to happen again. He reached out to me and I shied away from him. The last thing he said to me that night was how sorry he was, and then he ran from the house. I found out later he’d spent the night in the barn. The next morning, he cleaned himself up, started fixing things around here and even broke a couple of horses. He seemed to be his old self again. It was wonderful,” Lou added wistfully.
Rachel waited knowing Lou wasn’t through and the worst was yet to come. “A friend of his from the war showed up a couple of weeks later. They went into town and started drinking at the saloon. Kid came home that night, drunk of course. Said he was leaving and I couldn’t stop him. He’d packed up half his things before he passed out. The next morning when he woke up I asked him when he was planning to leave. He said he could never leave us that we meant too much to him. That was a couple of months ago. Things kept going on like that, and then he started to hit me when he was drunk and put me down. Finally a few days ago I decided I’d had enough. I can get this place back to the way it should be. I can make it a paying ranch again. My children deserve a good home and not a drunk for a father,” Lou said a steel edge to her voice now.
Rachel felt for the younger woman. She understood how hard the decision Lou had come to was. “You still love him, though,” Rachel stated.
Lou stared at Rachel for a long moment. “Loving him has nothing to do with it any more,” resignation stealing the edge from her voice. “I’ll love him ‘til the day I die but I can’t live like that any more.” Looking around the ranch Lou stood adding, “This was my dream as much as it was his. I’m going to make it good again.” She turned then and walked back inside her home leaving Rachel to follow her in.
Rachel started after Lou. As she crossed the threshold though two sets of very sad eyes drew her attention. There stood Jamie with his father’s clear blue eyes, and Catherine with her mother’s doe brown eyes. They stared at her, sadness filling their faces. Reaching out to them she said, “Come give Nana a hug you two.” Instantly her arms were filled with two small scared children. She sent a prayer heavenward that what ever Teaspoon had planned for Kid it worked. She didn’t know what any of them were going to do if it didn’t.
“Kid,” Jimmy said as he sat down at the table.
“Well, if it ain’t Jimmy Hickok,” Kid said, his southern draw more pronounced from the liquor. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Kid,” Cody said, “We just came to see how ya’ll are doing. How’s that niece and nephew of mine?” Jimmy wanted to moan; he hadn’t told Cody that Lou had kicked Kid out.
“Well, you’ll have to ask that wife of mine. Seems she kicked me out a few days back,” Kid slurred out.
Cody looked at Jimmy as if to say you should have told me that. Jimmy just shrugged. “Why’d she do that Kid?” Jimmy asked well aware of the answer.
Kid stared at his old friend and a long buried jealousy reared its head. “Why Jimmy? Think she’ll take you on now that I’m not around,” Kid said hate dripping from his every word. “Think you can give her and those brats what they need? Ha, you ain’t been around to see the bitch she’s become. Always after me to fix things and work harder, she ain’t the same, she nags all the time.”
“No, Kid, you’re the one…” Jimmy began, but his anger got the better of him.
Cody saw it coming and rose to try and stop Jimmy from his intent, “Jimmy, he’s drunk,” Cody stated, but it didn’t stop Jimmy, for in that instant Jimmy punched Kid as hard as he could. “Jimmy, why did you do that? He’s drunk, he don’t know what he’s saying.”
Jimmy looked at Cody, and then through gritted teeth he said, “Yes, he did. He knows damn well what he said and what he did a few days ago.” He then, helped Cody pick up their friend and carry him out.
When they reached the horses they had to lay Kid over the saddle, since he was still passed out from Jimmy’s punch. As they mounted their horses and Jimmy took the reins from Kid’s horse, he finally added, “And if this doesn’t straighten him out, I just might shot him.”
“What did he do to get you so riled up?” Cody asked for the second time that day.
“You don’t want to know,” Jimmy answered once again as he spurred his horse forward.
“Jimmy…” Cody tried once again but Jimmy was already getting far ahead of him. Grabbing the reins of Kid’s horse, Cody made to follow Jimmy out of town, mumbling as he did, “Yes, I do want to know, ‘cause then I’ll know why you want to beat the hell out of him so bad.”
Chapter 2
The next day Rachel offered to take Jamie and Catherine to town with her. She stopped Lou’s protests by saying that the children would be good company on her trip into town. Lou still wasn’t convinced about letting the children go because she wasn’t sure where Kid was or what he might do if he saw them with Rachel. It saddened her to think she had come to fear his moods when he was drinking the way she did. After some thought though and more coaxing by Rachel, she decided that it would be fine if they went along. Besides she reasoned it had been a long time since she’d had any time to herself. Rachel loaded he children and the threesome headed for town. Jamie was the first to spot Teaspoon a few miles from town; he was sitting under a huge oak with his hat pulled down over his eyes.“Grandpa!” Jamie hollered as he jumped from the wagon before Rachel could stop.
“Jamie, slow down,” she called to him, but the boy was hugging Teaspoon before she finished.
Teaspoon smiled at the boy as he was tackled. “Well, hello son,” he said. “You’re bigger every time I see ya. How’s that little sister of yours and your Ma?”
“Cat is fine and she’s with us. Ma stayed home. She cries a lot since Pa left, just like she did when the baby died. Pa ain’t been home in almost a week. Think you could help me find him? Ma’d probably stop cryin’ so much if’n he came home.”
While Jamie said his piece, Rachel had walked up with Catherine. She had heard most of what Jamie had said causing tears to prick her eyes. “Cat, sugar, you sure have grown,” Teaspoon told the little girl. She ran to him and started crying on his shoulder. Teaspoon looked up at Rachel not sure what to do. Finally he just patted her back and hushed her. Setting her back he looked at Cat and then to Jamie. “Things will get better soon,” he promised them.
“Teaspoon,” Rachel warned.
“They will. If I have to beat sense into that boy to do it,” Teaspoon replied with a growl to his voice.
“Jamie, why don’t you take Cat for a little walk while I talk to your Grandpa,” she told Jamie.
Not dumb Jamie took Cat’s hand saying, “That means the grown ups want to talk, and don’t want us around.” As they walked off Teaspoon and Rachel laughed tensely.
“So, how’s it going?” she asked him.
“Not very well. We found him just about blind drunk yesterday. He’s been passed out since, can’t do anything till he comes around. How’s Lou doin’?” he asked concern written all over his face.
“She’s holding it together. Right now she’s just plumb wore out and mad as hell. I haven’t seen her this mad since he tried to move her into the house.”
“Think she’ll take him back,” Teaspoon asked.
“The way he is right now, no. I don’t know if she will even if he gets better,” Rachel told him honestly. “He’s hurt her bad, Teaspoon. She loved him and trusted him, he’s betrayed all of that.”
Teaspoon’s eyes got a far away look. Rachel knew the look well, putting her hand on his arm she told him; “You’re a better man now.”
He looked back at Rachel, a wistful smile on his face as he told her, “You keep me that way.”
Rachel laughed and teased him, “You do it because you know I won’t keep you around if you don’t.”
Teaspoon laughed too, then grew serious again. He pulled a list from his pocket as he said, “Can you pick up this list of supplies for me at Thompkins.”
“Of course,” she replied kissing him on his grizzled cheek. “Do you want me to bring it out to you?”
“No, one of the boys or I’ll meet you when you come back from town,” he told her. “Think those two can keep quiet about seeing any of us?”
“I’m sure they will. We’ll just tell them it’s a special surprise for Lou,” Rachel said. “Come on, you two, we need to get to town before your mother thinks we got lost,” she called to the children.
Back at the cabin Kid was beginning to stir. At first he wasn’t sure where he was but then he recognized it as old man McGee’s line shack. How had he gotten here, he wondered. The last thing he recalled was riding away from the ranch after fighting with Lou again. Kid closed his eyes as the fight came crashing to the forefront of this memory.
They’d been argued again about him going to town. She had told him not to come back. That was when it happened, he’d lost his temper and left.
Wiping his hand over his face he noticed he needed to shave. As he sat up he saw a pile of things at the foot of the cot he was lying on. He looked at them, noticing they were his. He noticed on top was the picture of him and Lou on their wedding day; the glass was broken like someone had dropped it. Why were all this things here and not at home he wondered?
“Cody and I went and got your things last night,” Buck told him from across the room.
“Why?” Kid asked confused.
“Well, it looked like a storm was gonna blow in and we thought you might like them brought in,” Buck told him.
“Brought in?” Kid asked.
“Lou threw them out side the fence around the house.”
“She what!” Kid exclaimed bringing Cody and Jimmy inside.
“They were piled up by the gate,” Cody answered. “Seems Lou threw you out. Care to enlighten us as to why?”
“I don’t know,” Kid replied unable to met Cody’s eyes.
Jimmy snorted bringing Kid’s attention to him. “Hey, Jimmy. When did you get here?” Kid said somewhat cheerfully.
Jimmy gave Kid a look that would have sent most men running as he answered, “A couple of days ago.”
“Really,” Kid replied wondering just how much Jimmy knew about what was going on.
“I ain’t ever seen you drink, Kid,” Cody said. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing just got a little drunk. I’ll be fine now. Ya’ll passing through?”
“Nope,” Buck answered, as he poured the liquid from the kettle in to the cup he was holding.
“Naw,” Cody replied.
Jimmy just shook his head.
“Then what are ya’ll doin’ here?” Kid asked getting nervous.
“Seems a good friend of ours is in some trouble. Came to help him out,” Cody told.
As Buck handed him the cup he said, “It’ll help your head.”
“Thanks,” Kid said as he took a drink of the tea. He made a face as he said, “Buck this is awful.”
Before Buck or Cody could respond Jimmy said, “Drink it, Kid.” Kid just stared at Jimmy. “I said drink it, Kid,” he said again as he walked closer to Kid. “Or so help me I’m gonna pour it down your throat.”
“And just why is it so important to you that I drink this?” Kid snapped at Jimmy, his head throbbing.
Jimmy lost what little control he had on this temper when Kid snapped at him. He grabbed two fists full of Kid’s shirt, hauled him from the cot, and shoved him up against the wall. “Cause I said to. Cause your gonna listen to Teaspoon, and the rest of us. Cause you ain’t gonna hurt her any more than you already have. Cause your kids need you. Cause Lou still loves you for some strange reason. And cause I ain’t gonna shoot you, cause it would hurt her too much,” Jimmy told him through gritted teeth. Letting go of Kid, Jimmy pushed him back down on the cot.
Kid was stunned he’d never seen Jimmy this angry. “Would you mind telling me just what I did to piss you off, Jimmy?” Kid asked his anger growing.
Looking down at the man he considered to be his best friend, Jimmy replied, “You know.”
“The hell, I do,” Kid snapped again.
“Like I said,” Jimmy repeated as he walked toward the door of the small one room cabin, “you know.” Slamming the door behind him Jimmy started walking. He had now place in mind, but he just had to get away from Kid before he hit him again.
Rachel noticed the town had grown and changed a bit since they had left but not much. Pulling the horse to a stop in front of Thompkins’ store, she reached up for Catherine as soon as she let go of her the little girl ran inside. Jamie climbed down on his own and soon followed her.
The first thing Rachel noticed as she went through the doors was the pretty young woman behind the counter handing pieces of candy to the children. It took a moment but in a minute recognition dawned on her it was Jenny, Thompkins’ daughter.
“Mrs. Dunne,” Jenny said with a smile, “I’m glad to see you.”
“Jenny,” Rachel replied. The young woman seemed much more at peace with herself than the last time Rachel had seen her. Come to think of it Lou had mentioned that Jenny was back, she’d just not made the connection. Smiling back at Jenny, Rachel said, “And it’s Mrs. Hunter, now.”
“Oh, you married the marshal. I hope he’s doing well also. What brings you to town?”
“Nana and Grandpa came to help Ma and Pa make up,” Cat said between licks on the peppermint stick she was holding.
A look of sadness passed over Jenny’s face. “Oh,” was all she could say.
Rachel smiled at Jenny and whispered, “I’m sure Teaspoon and the boys are going to do all they can to fix this mess.” Rachel noticed when she said “the boys” something akin to hope had passed over Jenny’s face.
“I’m sure things are going to work out for the best then,” she told Cat. “Now what can I get for you today, Mrs. D…er…Hunter.”
“Lou needs the things on this list and could you pack this list separate it’s for Teaspoon.” Jenny had quickly read the first list but as she started reading the second she paused for a moment. “We don’t generally have these herbs in stock but I have them in my garden at home. I’d be happy to bring them out to the ranch.”
“No, um, don’t do that Lou doesn’t know everyone is here and we don’t want her to just yet. Not ‘til we see how things are going to go,” Rachel told her hoping she would understand. Jenny understood and nodded, “you can stop by anytime then and pick them up. Or I could just bring them to the store.”
Smiling Rachel said, “Someone will stop by this afternoon to pick them up, will you be home?” Rachel knew just whom she would have Teaspoon send.
“Yes, father isn’t his best in the mornings so he’ll be here. I’ll be expecting you.”
“I hope your father is doing ok,” Rachel asked concerned.
“He’s fine, he’s just better in the afternoons. He’s come down with rheumatism,” Jenny said as she finished filling both orders. “Do you want this on the ranch’s account?”
“No, I’ll pay for both just don’t let on to Lou. Ok?” Rachel asked.
Jenny smiled at Rachel, grateful that her friend had someone looking out for her. “I’m glad you’re here, Mrs. Hunter. Lou really needs her friends right now.”
“Well, we’ll be here as long as she needs us. That’s what family’s do,” Rachel replied.
The door to the store swung open then and a tall young man with dark hair and eyes walked in. “Excuse me, miss, but do you have an account for a Louise McCloud?”
Jenny hesitated and looked at Rachel. Rachel was staring at the young man. There was something about him she just couldn’t put her finger on it, and then he smiled. “Jesse?”
Jesse James turned at the sound of his name. “Rachel?” he said as he turned toward her.
Jenny looked at from Jesse to Rachel, and then answered Jesse’s question, “Yes we do. Why?” she asked ready to fight with this young man over her friend.
“This should pay it off and leave some for later,” Jesse told her as he laid a handful of gold and silver coins on the counter. They all heard an explosion then. Jesse gave Rachel a peck on the cheek, and tipped his hat to Jenny before rushing out the door, hollering at someone named Cole asking what all the commotion was about.
Rachel and Jenny looked at each other bewildered at what had just happened as Jenny scooped up the coins from the counter. After she quickly counted them she said, “This will more than pay off her bill.”
“He said it would,” Rachel told her. Rachel was one of the few that knew the special place Jesse held for Lou in his heart.
Jamie came running back into the store having wondered out while the ladies were talking shouting, “Nana, did ya hear it, the bank got robbed! The sheriff said it was Jesse James and his gang! And they only took the railroad’s money.”
Rachel shook her head, “Lord, what kind of trouble is Jesse into this time?” She decided then they needed to take care of Lou and Kid’s problems before they tackled Jesse’s. “I think it’s time I got these two home,” she told Jenny, “Teaspoon will send someone by for those herbs, and I’ll tell Louise about the bill.”
Chapter 3
Back at the ranch, Lou had decided that working on some of the repairs would take her mind off of her troubles. She and Rachel had given the house a good scrubbing the day before. So she decided to work on the yard some. Looking around she decided the gate on the fence was the place to start. It was a sore point with her. She’d been after Kid to fix it but he never seemed to get around to it.
Lou made her way over to the barn to get the tools she needed. As she walked into the small room where they kept the tool, she noticed the hammer lying on the worktable in the center of the room. Looking around she found the can of nail on a shelf. As she reached to get them she spotted something behind it covered by a piece of cloth. Reaching up she pulled it out of its hiding place. As she sat it on the table in front of her, she gasped as the cloth slid away revealing a figure of a rider and horse at full gallop. She thought it had been thrown out after Kid had broken it when he was drunk, but here it was.
Looking at it she realized that Kid had been trying to piece it back together. There were small pieces missing here and there that had shattered completely when it broke. Touching the figure, she recalled what Kid had told her the day he gave it to her. “It’s to remind you of the days we rode together. Every time, I look at it I see you coming in from a ride.” Then Kid had looked her in the eye as he said, “You were the best out of all of us at making sure the mochilia got through.”
Lou smiled to herself s she recalled the compliment and what it must have taken for Kid to admit that. Closing her eyes, she willed the tears not to fall; she had too much to do. Snatching the hammer and nails off of the table she left the barn and the figure sitting there on the table.
In a short time she had the gate fixed when she heard a rider approaching and turned toward the sound. There was something about him that looked familiar even from this distance but she couldn’t figure out what it was. He’d stopped at the top of the hill and watched her. When he didn’t come any closer, Lou started to become nervous, especially since she had left her gun in the house. She relaxed when she heard the wagon coming from the opposite direction. Turning she noticed it was Rachel and the children.
Looking back she noticed the rider had left. She wondered at who it had been. Something tugged at the back of her mind until she heard Jamie shout, “Ma, you should have seen it, the bank got robbed!”
Lou had started to smile but looked at Rachel to see if she would confirm Jamie’s statement. “Jamie, run along and put these in the kitchen,” Rachel said as she handed the boy several packages. Noticing the repairs to the fence Rachel commented to Lou, “Looks like you’ve been busy.”
“Better’n moping around,” Lou said defensively, “What’s this about the bank getting robbed?”
Rachel hesitated a moment. How was she going to tell Lou without upsetting her any more than she already was? “Um…it did,” Rachel stated. Seeing the alarm on Lou’s face she added, “But the children and I were in not danger. They were only after the railroad’s money.”
“Thank goodness,” Lou said as she let out the breath she had been holding.
“Um…Lou, there’s more. There was a young man that came into Thompkins’ store right before the robbery. Lou, he paid off your bill and then some.” Rachel watched Lou’s reaction.
“Who was it Rachel?” Lou said a note of dread creeping into her voice.
“It was Jesse, Lou.”
“Jesse? I heard he was getting into some trouble. He shouldn’t have paid off the bill. I could have done it,” Lou said her voice growing more husky as she spoke.
“Lou…” Rachel started.
“I’m fine Rachel,” Lou said as she headed toward the barn, “Just have a lot to do.”
Rachel wanted to help her friend but every since Lou had told her about what had happened with Kid, Lou seemed to have put up a wall around herself. Turning Rachel picked up the rest of the packages and walked towards the house, figuring Lou needed time to sort things out for herself.
Arriving back at McGee’s shack Teaspoon watched as Jimmy stomped down off of the porch. Noticing the angry look he wore Teaspoon said, “I take it the patient is awake.”
“Yep,” Jimmy said as he walked past Teaspoon and headed off toward small stable near the shack.
“Where you headed, son?” Teaspoon asked.
“Just for a walk, Teaspoon,” Jimmy said.
Teaspoon shook his head as he stepped up on to the porch of the shack. Taking some of the supplies from Teaspoon, Cody told him Kid was awake. Buck stepped up beside them and asked if Thompkins had had the herbs he needed.
“Sorry, son, he didn’t, but Rachel said to stop by the new house behind the store. She told me the lady said she’d have what you needed there.”
“Oh?” Buck looked a bit skeptical.
“Said to come by this afternoon,” Teaspoon told him with a grin, as he walked into the small cabin.
“Their up to something,” Cody warned him.
“Who?” Buck asked confused by Cody’s comment.
“Teaspoon and Rachel,” he told his friend.
“Nah,” Buck replied.
“Yep,” Cody said with a laugh as he headed back inside.
Buck walked over to the stable and saddled his horse. He figured he’d get the herbs now instead of waiting till later.
Cody, having gone back inside watched as a look of fear passed over Kid’s face when Teaspoon walked in. Kid was scared, Cody realized. He knew Teaspoon wouldn’t approve of what he’d done. He was afraid too, of disappointing the man he looked on as a father.
“Glad to see you awake, son,” Teaspoon said. “How ya doin’?”
“Been better,” Kid replied. Slowly he realized that all the members of the small family of express riders that were still alive were there. His anger quickly built again, “So when did she ask you to come?”
“She doesn’t even know we’re here, son,” Teaspoon said patiently.
“Then why did you come?” Kid asked.
“Heard you needed some help. And from what I’ve seen you do,” Teaspoon replied.
“I don’t need any help,” Kid snapped.
Teaspoon’s patience was starting to wear thin. He knew getting angry at Kid wasn’t going to help. So taking a deep breath he said, “Is that why you gave up on the ranch?”
Kid slowly shook his head, “No, just having a bit of trouble right now.” Looking at Cody and then Teaspoon he added, “I need to get home now, talk to Lou, straighten this out.”
Swallowing hard, Teaspoon said one of the hardest things he ever had to, “She don’t want to see you, son.”
“She’ll see me. I’ll just…” Kid started to get up off the cot. He needed out of here, he needed a drink.
“Sit down, son,” Teaspoon said as he stepped in front of Kid.
“Teaspoon, I just want to talk to her,” Kid said.
“No, Kid,” came the reply.
“You can’t hold me here,” Kid said as he started toward the door. Cody grabbed his arm as he made to go out the door.
“Kid, can’t let you do that,” Cody said.
“Why not?” Kid replied.
Confused Cody turned to Teaspoon, “He’s sober now Teaspoon. He could go…”
“No,” Teaspoon said before Cody could finish.
At that moment Jimmy came through the door. “Where ya goin’ Kid?” he asked.
“To see my wife, if you must know. To find out why she threw me out,” Kid replied through gritted teeth.
“You know why she did it,” Jimmy said flatly.
“So I got a little drunk,” Kid reasoned.
Jimmy was ready to explode again and he’d only been back in the cabin a few minutes. He had no idea how he was going to get through the next days or weeks. “You ain’t goin’, Kid.”
“Try to stop me,” Kid challenged Jimmy.
“Ah, come on, Kid,” Cody started as Kid shoved Jimmy out of the way and started for the door again.
Without thinking Jimmy said, “What are ya gonna do if she doesn’t take you back, Kid? Beat her till she does?”
“Jimmy,” came the warning from Teaspoon.
“What?!” came from Cody.
But it was too late Jimmy had already said it.
Kid stopped where he was. “What are you talking about?” Kid asked without even turning around. Denial raced through him. He couldn’t have done it again. He felt as if his stomach was going to rebel against him, only he realized he had nothing in it. He’s sworn to her he’d never do it again. He knew that lately he’d been reacting to things without thinking. He’s promised her though that it would never happen again. Kid searched his mind not wanting to believe what he could have done.
“I saw it all,” Jimmy said from directly behind him. “Figured I’d come see you two and the kids.”
“She ask you to come?” Kid asked his voice dead. “She leaving with you?”
“No, to both,” Jimmy replied, “It was to be surprise visit.”
Turning around Kid looked at his best friend. “I don’t…she wouldn’t…I mean…” Kid was at a loss for words. Hell, he couldn’t explain everything to Jimmy, when he didn’t understand it himself. “You wouldn’t understand,” was all he could say.
“No, son,” Teaspoon said as he stepped around Jimmy and laid his arm across Kid’s shoulders, “but I bet I can. Come back over here and sit down. We’re going to have something to eat and you’re going to get cleaned up, then I’m going to tell you a story.”
Buck pulled his horse to a stop in front of the house Teaspoon had told him about. It was noon so he figured who ever owned it was probably having dinner. Walking up on the front porch, he knocked on the door. Buck was taken aback for a moment when Thompkins answered the door.
“What do you want?” Thompkins growled.
“Mr. Thompkins,” Buck smiled, this was just like the old days when teaspoon or Rachel would send him to Thompkins’ store. “Teaspoon said that you would have the herbs we need here.”
“Buck Cross?” Thompkins said as he limped out on to the porch. “It’s been awhile since we seen you around these parts. What’s brought you back?”
Buck smiled again, Thompkins would never change. “Came back to help out a friend,” is all he replied, “Now about those herbs.”
Not paying much attention all of what Buck had said, Thompkins replied, “Well, Lou could use some help, I’m sure. You tell Teaspoon that he needs to have a long talk with Kid too. He’s gonna get himself in some real trouble if someone doesn’t straighten him out soon.”
“Uh…Mr…” Buck hated to interrupt the man but he need to brew the tea and get more of it into Kid soon.
“Yeah, herbs ya say,” Thompkins got back on track. “Now that’d be Jenny’s department. Hold on for a minute,” Thompkins said as he disappeared back inside the house. He left Buck standing on the porch stunned. “Eagle Feather?” Buck said using Jenny’s Lakota name, to himself.
A moment later Jenny stepped out on to the porch. “Hello, Buck,” she said glad that Buck had returned with the others. “It’s good to see you.”
Buck had been surprised when Thompkins had answered the door, but more so when Thompkins had called out to Jenny. Smiling he said, “It’s good to see you too. I thought you had decided to stay back east.”
“I did for a while but it wasn’t for me,” Jenny said with a smile. “Too many rules,” she laughed.
Buck smiled at her joke. She was even prettier than he remembered. He watched her for a moment and was about to say something when she looked over his shoulder and her smile faded. “Excuse me a minute, Buck,” she said a she left him standing there with her father.
Buck turned as Jenny when past him. Looking in the direction she walked he noticed a couple of women and a boy in buckskins on the outside of the fence. He was surprised for a moment when he realized they were Lakota. As Jenny stood there talking to them Thompkins came out onto the porch and stood by Buck. “They’ve been coming here every since they found out she has that garden out back,” he said gruffly.
“A garden?” Buck asked.
“Yeah, she’s been growing what she calls herbs back there. Said her aunt taught her about them when she was back east. I call ’em weeds,” Thompkins replied as they watched as Jenny lead the women around back while the boy stayed with the horse they had ridden in on. Buck noticed the boy watched them with a wary eye.
“You don’t mind them coming here?” Buck asked surprised Thompkins wasn’t raising cane about dirty savages, as he had once called Buck, coming to his home.
“A man learns from his mistakes,” Thompkins replied. “Jenny told me about ya’ll bein’ here. You come back to straighten that boy out? He sure needs someone to.”
Buck couldn’t help but smile at Thompkins, he was still gruff but seemed to have softened a little over the years. Shortly Jenny and the women came back around the house. Buck watched as they said good-bye and Jenny turned to rejoin them on the porch. “Sorry about that, but the land the army has forced them on to won’t grow some of the herbs they need. I grow them in my garden so they come here to get them when they can.”
“They pay her back though,” Thompkins added. “Got up one morning not long ago to find a deer hung up in that tree over there. Good size one, too.”
Buck looked at Jenny and she smiled at him. “Now what were those herbs you were needing?” she asked.
Buck couldn’t help it as he smiled back at her and told her what he needed. As they walked around the house and Thompkins went back inside Buck commented, “Your father’s changed.”
“Yes, he has,” Jenny answered. “Are these to help, Kid?” she asked as she picked what he needed and handed them to him.
“Yeah, I hope it works,” Buck said.
“Add a pinch of this and I’m sure it’ll work. At least it did when I had to help my brother out last year.”
“Thanks,” Buck said. They stood there in silence for a moment neither sure what to say to the other. Jenny was thinking how handsome Buck still was, and how much his Kiowa heritage was even more evident now that his hair was longer. Buck was thinking of how much prettier Jenny was now that she had made peace with her father and the past.
“Think you could come by for supper one night before you leave?” she asked.
“Would you like to go for a ride tomorrow?” he asked at the same time
“Yes,” they replied together, then laughed at themselves.
“Why don’t we go for a ride tomorrow afternoon and then you can stay for supper,” Jenny suggested.
“I’d like that,” Buck answered. “Um…I best be getting back.”
“I know, good luck,” Jenny said. “Tell Kid we’ll be praying for him.”
“I will,” Buck said as he mounted his horse. “See you tomorrow.” As he rode off Buck could feel the heaviness that had hung on his heart the last year ease a bit.
When he returned to the cabin Buck found the others, except for Teaspoon, down by the small pond that was just a short distance away. What he saw would have been funny to him but things were serious. Jimmy was sitting on the bank with one of his guns drawn and pointed at Kid, who was drenched from head to toe and waist deep in the pond and holding what looked like a bar of soap in one hand. Cody was sitting on the bank, tears of laughter running down his cheeks.
“Where’s Teaspoon?” Buck asked as he walked up.
“Went…back…to the cabin to get Kid some clothes and something to dry off with,” Cody replied through the laughter.
Buck couldn’t help it; Cody’s laughter was contagious. “Mind telling me what is so funny about all of this?” he asked pointing from Jimmy to Kid.
“Well, it all started shortly after you left. See Teaspoon decided Kid needed a bath. Kid disagreed with him though. So Teaspoon had us haul him out here and dump him in the pond. When he started to get out Jimmy pulled his gun. They’ve been like that ever since,” Cody said and then collapsed into another fit of laughter.
“He ain’t coming out till he gets cleaned up,” Jimmy said not taking his eyes off of Kid. “It’s ain’t that funny, Cody.”
Buck looked at Kid and then back at Jimmy. Both men were stubborn and the looks they were throwing each other were murderous. Kid looked like he was ready to kill Jimmy and Jimmy didn’t look much happier. All of this was over a simple bath. “Looks like Cody’s right about something for once,” Buck teased as he walked away.
Jimmy looked at Kid standing out in the pond; Kid was soaked through and did look pretty funny. Jimmy started to laugh as he put his gun back in the holster. “Come on, Kid,” he offered his hand to help Kid out of the pond.
Kid reached up and the next thing Jimmy knew he landed with a splash next to Kid. “Thanks, Jimmy, but I can do this myself,” Kid said as he climbed out of the pond.
Cody fell back fresh laughter erupting from him.
A while later they all sat around the table in the small cabin. Kid wasn’t looking very well and every once in a while he would get up and pace around the one room cabin. Every so often he would stop sit down and sip at the tea Buck had brewed from the herbs. He felt trapped and he had no clue as to how to escape. Every time he went toward the door, one of the others would stand up. That wasn’t the worst of it; the worse part was Teaspoon watching him like a hawk. Then a short while ago his stomach had started to rebel against him. Now every nerve in his body felt like someone had set a match to it. His mind raced with thought of how to get out of here, and how to get his hands on drink.
Kid walked over to the cot he’d spent the last couple of nights on and sat down only to jump up again when he thought he felt something crawl up his leg. Only nothing was there.
Teaspoon watched Kid, he could have told anyone the exact moment the young man’s body went into withdrawal. Teaspoon felt for Kid, he knew this was going to be hard both physically and mental on him. If anyone had asked him years before which of his boys would be going through this Kid would have been the last one he thought of, but here they were. Kid stood where he was, the effect of not having had a drink all day beginning to take its toll.
Cody looked up from the book he’d had his nose buried in. “Kid, you ok?”
“Does he look ok to you?” Buck answered him. Turning to Kid, he picked up the mug of tea saying, “Here Kid, finish this tea it’ll help.”
“Don’t make it easy on him,” Jimmy said. Jimmy was still angry, not blinding angry as he had been when he’d seen Kid first hit Lou, but still mad as hell. Here he’d been living from one job to the next unable to settle down due to his reputation. Kid had everything he desired and was throwing it all away. That one thought kept Jimmy angry with Kid.
“Son,” Teaspoon tried, “he’s sick and he needs our help.”
“No,” Jimmy replied, some of the heat from his anger disappearing with Teaspoons words, “the one that needs our help is trying to do his job and hers right now.”
“You don’t understand…” Teaspoon began only to be cut off by Kid.
“He’s right,” Kid mumbled from the other side of the cabin. “You should just leave me here. I’ve fail her and you all too.” Guilt had begun to plague Kid.
“Son,” Teaspoon said, “you can fix things if you want.”
“Not this time, Teaspoon,” Kid said, “I’ve hurt her too much.”
“Listen to me,” Teaspoon said as he stood up from the table and walked over to Kid. “I know what you’re going through Kid. The hate, the failure, the guilt, they take their toll on a body. Son, if you proved to Lou that you’re sorry and that you’re ready to make amends for what you’ve done, she might forgive you. I won’t tell you she’ll take you back, that has to be her decision.”
“Teaspoon,” Jimmy started to but in.
“Jimmy, you’ve never been where Kid here is. I have, lost my second wife because I turned to the bottle after we lost our little boy. He looked so much like his ma,” Teaspoon said as he walked over and stared out the window at nothing in particular. “I’ve never been proud of what I did. I can tell you this though; it’s the simple things in life, like the kids at home and a loving wife, that you miss the most, when you lose control. See boys,” Teaspoon smiled a little at that at those words. He’d lost his flesh and blood son, but the good Lord had seen fit to give him 5 that really needed him. No matter how old they got, they would always be his boys. He continued after a moment, “It’s then that everything you love starts to disappear. It’s like the devil takes your hand and says, ‘have another shot just one more beer. I’ve been there, boys, and I made it back.” Teaspoon turned to Kid, “You’ll make it, son.”
Buck had been sitting at the table listening to Teaspoon. Tears filled his eyes and he laid his head down on his arms to hide them. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he walked over to stand beside Teaspoon. “Teaspoon’s right,” he said, “I’ve never told you, but after Noah died and I left I started drinking. Noah and I had become close; we had more in common than the rest of you. We were both outsiders in your world. Noah because he was black and me because…my mother was Kiowa. Neither of us had a place here. Losing Ike had been bad enough but Noah too, then the war was coming and all of you were fighting over which side to take. I hated everything here and all of you, too. I tried to return to the Kiowa but was treated as an outsider there too. The whiskey numbed the pain. I felt good, felt invincible when I drank. My brother tried to help me but I would just lie to him, promise to quit drinking. As soon as he walked way, though, I’d search out a bottle and start drinking again. I reached bottom when my brother asked me to leave. I had no place to go, no one who I could turn to.
“I couldn’t come back here there were too many memories, to much pain here. I couldn’t search for any of you either because you were fighting that God forsaken war. One night after finishing off a bottle of the foulest rotgut you can imagine. I passed out,” Buck paused and took a deep breath. “I was half dead when Walks Alone found me. He had been a medicine man to the Lakota Sioux but had left after the chief’s son died. He lived alone in a valley near to the Kiowa’s winter camp. He looked ancient but seemed to know what he was doing. I’d denied it for so long what the drinking was doing to me. He saw it though, he didn’t pull any punches with me, and he told me exactly how it was. What I was doing to myself and everyone I loved. It was horrible, fears crept up on me, I lost control of my hands, my thoughts ran wild. I craved a drink more than anything. That tea was what Walks Alone gave me each time I told him I was thirsty. It’s tasted horrible to me too, but Walks Alone wouldn’t take no for an answer. I wasn’t able to fight him. After a few weeks he said I could return to my brother’s village, but that I would have to prove to them that I could be trusted again. It was hard. The first time someone said something that hurt I went in search of a bottle but couldn’t find one. I craved that drink so bad, but then the memories of what it could cost me came flooding back.” Buck swallowed hard, the next part he’d never told anyone, “I kept walking until I came to a creek and sat down. I’d wasted so much of my life on the whiskey, rotgut, what ever I could find. I didn’t want to do that anymore. I made a choice then to make things right with my brother, and have tried. Still there are times he looks at me and I know he’s waiting for the day I pick up a bottle again.”
After listening to his friends Kid didn’t know what to say but he sat down and picked up the cup that Buck had tried to hand him earlier. Jimmy sat stunned by his friends’ words, seeing a bit of himself in each statement that had been made by bother of them. Cody for once in his life was silent, letting what had been said sink into his brain.
Kid felt so ashamed for what he had done, but not so alone anymore. He knew he still had a long road to go if he was ever going to be able to fix thing with the most important person in his life and he was scared. He’d never been this scared in his life, not even during the war. “Where do I start?” he said low under his breath.
“By telling us what happened to start it all,” Teaspoon replied.
Still angry with Kid, Jimmy said, “Yeah, Kid, what’s the excuse?”
Kid saw again the anger red haze in front of him, only this time there was no drink to push it to the back of his mind again. “Did you see it all gone, Jimmy? Did you see land you were raise on covered in blood? Homes gone. Children murdered. Women raped. Black or white, it did matter. We intercepted a Carrier for Sherman when I was fighting in Georgia. He’d ordered the countryside.... How’d he put it...inside Atlanta or not, it will be a used up community by the time we are done with it,” Kid fumed all the anger from the war coming back to him. The images, he’d tried to put away bright as day again, of the burning house, broken toys in the yard. Then finding the baby crying in the loft of the barn while it’s mother lay dead in one of the stalls. He told his friend of it all. He’d counted each home he’d found burned. He told of the young girl they’d found near a river and how she had run from them screaming and fallen to her death from a bluff. She’d been half naked and beaten.
By the time he was finished with his tell Kid wanted a drink so bad the actually ached all over. He looked down at the tea Buck had prepared him. Picking it up he downed it in one swallow, praying it would take away the hunger he felt for something more. It didn’t take away the hunger for the alcohol his body was addicted to but after a bit he did feel his body and mind begin to quite down.
They all sat there in silence no one sure of what to say. Cody and Jimmy were sure of how to respond to Kid’s tell of his side of the war. Buck was amazed that the white man could treat his own kind in the same manner as they had treated Indians. Teaspoon had seen many of the same horrors Kid had spoken of in the war in Texas long before the War Between the States had started.
Teaspoon was the first to speak, “Son, I saw many of the thing you are talking about. I know it sounds easier than it can be done but you have to put it behind you.”
“I’ve tried Teaspoon,” Kid said, “but it always returns. And now.... Now I’ve lost everything.”
“We’ll work it out, son,” Teaspoon said as he tried to encourage Kid.
As the weeks passed Lou noticed when she left the ranch, something else would be fixed when she returned. She was becoming suspicious of what was going on and of all the ranch hands and bums that seemed to be finding their way to the ranch to do odd jobs.
One day she decided to return to the ranch soon after she left and before she was expected to return. What she saw when she rode into the yard of the ranch surprised her there were her old friends helping to rebuild the corral one of the last things before the ranch would be operational again. They all stopped working as she rode up and turned to her. “When did ya’ll get here?” she asked warily.
“Not too long ago,” Cody replied, as he walked over to give her a hug.
“I could have done this myself,” she said defensively.
“We know you could, sugar, but what are families for if not to help each other out?” Teaspoon asked.
“I should have known you were here, especially since Rachel doesn’t seem in that big a hurry to go home,” Lou quipped as she hugged him. “Buck, it’s good to see you. You coming back to stay for a while.”
“I’ve been considering it,” was all Buck would say before he turned back to fixing the fence.
“Lou,” Jimmy said from behind her, “it’s been a while.”
“Jimmy, sure took you long enough to visit,” Lou said her voice cracking. “I guess you all are wondering where Kid i......” Lou never finished for about that time Kid walked out of the barn saying, “All I could find in the tack room was this wire. We’ll have to get some more nails before we can finish...” This time he trailed off as he spotted Lou.
“Boys, I think Rachel has some lemonade ready up at the house,” Teaspoon said as he headed toward the house. As they had done in the past they all followed and left the couple alone.
“What are you doing back here, Kid?” Lou asked uneasily, not sure where to begin.
“The fellas and Tea...I need to come back, Lou. I wanted to make it up to you...to help you out...Hell, Lou, I wanted to make things right with you. I know I’ve hurt you and that you don’t trust me any more but I needed to be here. I needed to fix the things around here that were broke. I needed to tell you how sorry I am,” Kid said.
“I can’t take you back, Kid. I’ll love you for the rest of my life but I can’t live like we were. I started cleaning up this place alone, I could have finished it alone,” Lou replied with all the hurt and anger she had the right to.
“I know, I just wanted you to know that I understand now. That it’s you and the kids and this place I miss more than anything. I was a fool I let the war come between us, I let it into our lives into us and didn’t stop to think how bad I was hurting you or the kids. I miss all of you,” Kid said trying to make her understand.
“Kid,” Lou said anguish filling her voice, “I can’t.” Lou ran from him to the house and to her room.
Jimmy came storming out of the house. “So help me, Kid, if you laid a hand on her, I’ll shoot you right here and now,” he shouted at Kid.
“Go ahead then and just do it,” Kid said, his voice hoarse from unshed tears. “No one will blame you, Jimmy. Not me, not her, not them, just shoot me and let me die.”
Jimmy stood stunned at Kid’s words. “Kid, I didn’t...Kid, I couldn’t,” Jimmy couldn’t find the words he wanted to say to his friend.
Kid grabbed hold of the fence post and hung on for dear life as he slowly sank to the ground sobbing. He’d lost. She wasn’t going to give him another chance. She’d given him too many already. Why didn’t Jimmy just shoot him and get it over with.
Jimmy stood behind him watching, not know what to say, or what to do. He looked up at the second floor of the house where Lou had run. She stood there watching them from the window the sun catching the tears on her checks. They were both hurting so bad and he knew that there was nothing any of them could do to fix it.
Jimmy reached down and placed his hand on Kid’s shoulder. Helping Kid up and to the barn, he found an empty stall and sat down next to Kid. “You can’t tell me knowing her like you do you expected anything less?” He said.
Kid looked at Jimmy. “Guess I really didn’t,” Kid said honestly. “Guess I was just hoping for another chance. Think she’ll ever forgive me?”
“Someday,” Jimmy said a slight tease to his voice, “but she’s going to make it tough on you and she ain’t going to give an inch either.”
“She’d been better off with you,” Kid said quietly.
“Nah, she’d done shot me, buried, and married up with you,” Jimmy teased.
“Want to help me finish that corral?” Kid asked.
“Only if you promise not to hit my fingers with that hammer. Never know when I might need ‘em,” Jimmy said flexing his trigger finger.
That evening at dinner they all sat quietly. No one talked much or made any jokes. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. At least it was until Lou said, “I’ve made a decision. Kid you can come back to the ranch but you will stay in the barn, in the foreman’s room and eat with the hands in the bunkhouse. This place needs both of us,” she said, then added, “Sober. I’m telling you though the first time I smell liquor on you, I’ll boot you out of here.” Lou rose from the table then and headed to the kitchen. She took a deep breath as she looked out the door of the house. She felt him behind her before she heard his voice. One day at a time was how she had to do this. She’d just have to take one day at a time.
Kid smiled as he watched Jamie breaking the horse. He’d learned all of Kid’s tricks with horses and Buck’s. Kid was proud to call him his son. The years had been good to them.
“He got that horse broke, yet?” Buck asked as he stood beside his friend.
“Just about, he’ll have it ready by the time the shipment goes to the army,” Kid replied.
“Having dinner at the house tonight,” Buck asked as he watched an eagle sail pass and cry out.
Kid looked in the same direction as he replied, “yeah, Lou said she wanted to talk to me about something. Hey, doesn’t that mean something to the Kiowa?” Kid asked pointing at the eagle.
“Sometimes, I saw the same thing when Ike died,” Buck replied wincing at the memory.
Both men about jump out of their skins and Jamie lost control of the horse he was holding as they heard a bone-chilling scream come from the house. “Pa! PA!” they heard as Cat stepped out on the porch looking like a younger version of her mother in a pair of her brother’s pants and an old shirt. “It’s ma, when she saw the paper I picked up in town, she....Pa?” Cat said as she started to cry.
Kid and Buck rushed into the parlor where they found Lou passed out on the floor. Kid went to see about Lou as Buck picked up the newspaper. Kid checked Lou over and then looked at Buck when he found nothing wrong. Kid was shocked by what he saw, Buck’s eyes were blank and he just stared at Kid. Kid took the telegram and read it. “OH, GOD!” He shouted as he read, “WILD BILL KILLED OVER POKER GAME”
“Pa, what’s wrong?” Jamie asked as he came through the door holding Cat.
Kid swallowed hard, he didn’t want to believe his best friend was dead. He handed the paper to Jamie, since he couldn’t bare to speak the words. He watched as more tears filled Cat’s eyes as she read the headline over her brother’s shoulder.
Lou started to come around and still Kid held on to her. He’d not held her like this since before Jeb had died so many years ago. Lou looked into his eyes as her own filled with fresh tears. They had both lost their best friend. Quietly Lou said, “Don’t shut me out this time, Kid.”
Kid understood what she was trying to tell him. He had shut her out before when something bad had happen and she didn’t want that to happen again. He answered he with something Teaspoon had told him, “I won’t this time because I’ve learned that it’s the simple things in life, like you and the kids, that you miss the most when you lose control.” As he held her close he realized that she had finally forgiven him and that the hurt from all those years ago was finally healed.
The End
This story was inspired by The Things You Miss The Most is by Kenny Chesney.