BOOK ONE   Prologue Riding into Whitethorn Falls with the others Ike cursed under his breath as they rode down the muddy, cramped main street. It had taken the two weeks to find the man responsible for stealing the payroll and they were on their way home when Buck noted the gathering clouds in the distance and said they’d need to bed down somewhere for a couple of days if that store hit. Now hunkered in his coat against the wind, Ike glanced at the sky uneasily as fat rain drops fell on his hat brim, a hint at what was rapidly approaching. Pulling up at the livery he unsaddled quickly, and trudged wearily behind the others over to the only hotel in town, which also served as the saloon, restaurant and express depot. “I sure hope that rain lets up.” Cody muttered as the rain began to beat on the ground, sending clouds of dust up into the air as it hit the walkway, and increased it’s tempo as it hit the boards and windows of the buildings. *If it doesn’t we’re stuck here for a couple of days, the trail we take is through the wash, if this keeps up it’ll flood and there ain’t any other way around.* Ike signed as he pushed his hat off and waited for Kid to finish stepping into the building. “Doesn’t look like this town needs anymore rain.” Kid muttered. “There’s more mud in that street than anywhere I’ve ever seen.” “Course there is.” Buck glanced around uneasily. “Looks like this is the most miserable town west of Wolfsburg.” Ike smiled at the statement and glanced around himself. Several young women were washing tables off, their short dresses revealing lengths of leg, and more than ample hints of cleavage marking them as working girls, a fat man stood behind the counter polishing glasses, a cigar tucked in his mouth as he chewed on it thoughtfully. “Well standing here ain’t gonna get us a room.” Jimmy muttered. “Damn I hate this place and I’ve never even been here.” “We all do.” Lou whispered uneasily as she glanced around. Pulling her hat down she followed the boys up to the counter, edging closer to Kid as she did so. “Evening gent’s.” The bartender glanced at the small group of young men and nodded, “What can I get for you?” “A couple of rooms.” Kid replied. “Well I got rooms for rent, unfortunately all we’ve got is two singles and the suite, but if you don’t mind sharing..” “We don’t.” Kid replied quickly as the man shuffled off gracefully despite his huge girth. A moment later he was back with three keys, “This here’s the main suite. I’m not supposed to rent it out but I can see you boys are in need of a room so I’ll rent it to you. ‘Sides don’t look like we’re gonna get any more business for a few days. These other two keys are to a couple of rooms that are smaller but just as comfortable, and they’re free. Take your pick.” Reaching over Ike picked up the key closest to him and shrugged at the others, it was for a single room and he shook his head. *Somebody’s gonna have to sleep in a single room, might as well be me.* “Ike.” Buck started knowing his friend had been restless lately, but he wouldn’t talk to him so he was left to wonder what the cause was. *It’s fine. Hell a little peace and quiet will do me good, give me a chance to do some thinking.* Ike smiled at his friend who shrugged and let Kid take the suite key, they’d all bunk down in the suite, except for Ike and possibly Cody who’d grabbed the other key. Paying the man they turned and headed off toward the stairs. “You should give the key to Lou.” Jimmy hissed to Cody as they mounted the stairs. “She could use a little privacy.” “She’s got half the suite,” Cody smiled at his friend. “And I need my sleep.” Feeling a moment’s frustration Jimmy shook his head at the other man and followed Kid down the hall to a door at the end. It hadn’t really been Lou’s privacy he was worried about, he’d been worried about Kid and Lou’s tempers when they were locked together. Watching the pair now though he sighed, maybe they’d keep their tempers under control until everyone got home, something for which he hoped against hope.   Pausing next to the room marked seventeen Ike glanced at the key in his hand and shifted his saddlebag, it would be a relief to get away from everyone, have some privacy to think of what to do with the sudden realization that he’d come to on his last run to Wellsburg. Turning the key he opened the door and stepped in before turning to push the door closed. Hearing a slight sound Ike whirled, reaching for his gun and froze. Standing a few feet away, wrapped in nothing more than a white towel was a very familiar woman staring at him with shock clearly written in her eyes, next to her a steaming bath sat waiting for her to slide into the bubble covered depths. “Ike!” Anna croaked holding the towel to her as though it were a shield, surprise was quickly fading to be replaced by an all too familiar tingling in her body, her skin felt too tight, prickly even. *I’m sorry, the barkeep gave me the key..* Ike started only to pause when Anna shifted suddenly. *I’ll go get another room.* Seeing him reaching for the door Anna swallowed hard, “You don’t have to.” She whispered fearfully. When he froze she silently cursed her big mouth until he turned to face her and she saw the hesitation and a familiar burning in his gaze that drew a shudder from her. Standing rooted to the spot she watched him walking toward him with slow, steady footsteps. *You sure?* Anna nodded quickly her mouth suddenly dry as he stopped in front of her and reached out to brush a loose strand of hair away form her face. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” *Anna I think this might be a bad idea.* “Well then it’s my bad idea isn’t it?” Anna smiled shakily. “After all I’m making the choice aren’t I?” Ike nodded as Anna reached for his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders to pool at their feet, forgotten as she worked on his vest followed by his shirt. *You do realize we can’t go back don’t you?*                                     “Who’d want to?” Anna smiled at him and leaned forward to steal a quick kiss. Pulling back she returned her focus to his shirt buttons, a chore she could handle. Gasping suddenly she couldn’t stop the whimper when he reached over and cupped her chin to tilt it so he could kiss her properly. Pulling back at the slight sound she made, Ike studied her for a moment, her blue eyes reflecting the flickering lights of the lanterns sitting on the table as she smiled into his eyes, the hesitation and doubts he’d expected to see conspicuous in their absence. “I’m sure about this Ike. I trust my heart, more importantly I trust you.” Anna whispered as he loosened the knot in the towel and let it pool at their feet atop his coat, vest and shirt. “I’ve wanted this, wanted you too long Ike to have doubts about it.” Smiling Ike shrugged slightly, *I’ve always wanted you Anna, I just never thought we’d ever..* Pausing he sighed a frown marring his face as he studied her. “Get the chance to be together.” Nodding Ike sucked in a breath when she stepped closer to him and let her hands trail down his naked chest. Bending slightly he lifted her easily and carried her to the bed that lay a few feet away, ignoring the risks, the dangers of loving her for the moment.   Chapter One   Sitting on the stoop of the bunkhouse Buck watched Ike as he worked with a leggy grey mare. The mare was stubborn, and prone to bucking when you least expected it but she was one of the best horses he’d ever seen. Frowning slightly he wondered where she’d come from, he couldn’t remember her coming in with the Indian ponies that arrived two days before. “You look lost in thought.” Kid’s voice had him glancing up at the tall southerner. “Trying to remember where that mare from hell came from.” Buck replied. “She was delivered last night, fella said Ike had to sign for her.” Kid replied sitting next to him. “Him and Ike chatted a bit then the fella left, took off with nary a word to anyone.” “Funny, Ike doesn’t usually get horses delivered directly to him.” “Somehow I think this horse is from someone he knows. He seems to know the animal.” Kid replied. “That’s what scares me. Who would send a horse like that to an express rider? And why?” Buck shrugged. “Just got me curious is all.” “Hey you two, listen up.” Rachel walked across the yard gracefully, “ Teaspoon’s got a job for you.” “How many of us?” Kid asked rising. “And doing what?” Buck followed his friend with ease. “Didn’t say, just said that you’d best saddle up and get ready to ride.” Rachel smiled softly. “I have a feeling he meant all of you.” “Damn. I hate when he does that.” Buck muttered as Ike joined them, the mare for the moment forgotten in the corral. *Does what?* “Wants everyone saddled up and ready to ride.” Kid replied quickly. “Its only been three months since we got back from Whitethorn Falls, you’d think he’d give us a break.” *Best see what he wants first Kid. Could be something real easy.* Ike declared with a grin. Turning away he headed for the barn, the sooner they got whatever Teaspoon wanted done and over with the sooner he could head out to Tayler Station and see Anna. Thinking of the young woman who’d become such a large focus of his life Ike glanced at the mare in the corral and stifled a sigh. Like her previous owner, the mare was stubborn, willful ,and proud, a dangerous combination and often resulting in headaches for him. Despite his pleas Anna had steadfastly refused to leave the station and move into town to be closer to people, and it had often irritated the hell out of him but more often then not he’d hid just how much he respected and appreciated her decisiveness when it came to choosing her own lifestyle. Her open-mindedness had been one of the main reasons that they’d become lovers, she’d refused to back down from what she wanted despite the risks of being involved with a man who’d chosen to work at a dangerous job. “Hey Ike, you coming with us or gonna stand there staring at the mare all day?” Cody’s voice had him glancing at the others. *What do you think?* He signed pushing aside his irritation at the other man. Despite their friendships, Ike had to admit there were times when he desperately wished for an open trail or to be left behind so he could avoid their company. “I think you’re in trouble.” Lou whispered on her way past, “Same as the rest of us.” “Alright boys listen up, I’m deputizing you again.” Teaspoon started riding into the yard. “Of course you are.” Cody broke in, “Just like you always do.” “Shut up boy and listen. Sam sent me a letter, seems that John Washington and his gang are running hard over everyone and everything in the territory. Just last week they killed a banker over in Redrock. It's up to us to catch ‘em and bring ‘em in.” “Where are they now Teaspoon?” Kid asked fiddling with his rein as he stood holding Katy. “Holed up near Capital City, there’s a canyon about twenty miles east of there that’s got a cave. Apparently that’s where they’ve taken to staying when they aren’t out on a run.” Teaspoon explained. “I don’t need to remind you to be careful, these boys aren’t exactly pleasant fellas.” “We’ll be careful Teaspoon.” Jimmy replied with a cocky grin. “Or as careful as we always are. See you in a few days.” “Ride safe.” Teaspoon waved as the boys galloped out of the yard and headed southwest toward Capital City. “Ride safe and come home.”     Pushing the horses the boys pulled up to make camp near a small creek that ran across the trail. Lou had a fire going within minutes while the boys took care of the horses, gathered wood and Ike and Buck got volunteered to go fishing for supper. “Why is it that we’re always the ones that get to go fishing?” Buck muttered grumpily. “I hate fishing.” *You do not.* Ike replied easily, *You hate having to do it for the boys and Lou.* “Same thing.” Buck replied with a glance at Ike who’d leaned back in the fading sunlight and pulled his hat down over his eyes. Studying the young man who’d been with him for so long Buck frowned, despite the fact that Ike looked relaxed, he could sense a tension running through his body that hadn’t been there before. “You catching anything?” Lou asked hunkering next to Ike. “Nope. Course it might help if someone was awake while he was fishing.” Buck replied pointedly staring at Ike. *I am awake. While you’ve been lost in thought I’ve already caught two.* Ike glanced at Buck with an easy grin. *Just think, tomorrow night you can get supper.* Laughing softly at the familiar banter Lou filled her canteen and headed back to the camp a few yards away. Glancing over her shoulder she noted Ike had sat up and was watching the water as the light finished fading from the sky, even as Cody started to complain about the prospect of eating her cooking. “Oh shut up Cody. Just goes to show you don’t have any idea what you’re talking ‘bout.” Kid groused seeing Lou walking up. He’d never admit it, but he did have to agree with Cody, Lou needed to spend some time with Rachel in the kitchen. Within the hour dinner had been made, eaten and the dishes washed as the boys settled in around the fire. Staring into the flames Ike frowned as he ignored the quiet conversation going on around him, pulling his hat down he shifted against his saddle and waited for someone to pour fire on the flames so that there was little chance of having a fire get away from them. Letting his mind wander Ike wished that he’d had a chance to say goodbye to Anna but he’d never really expected to be sent on a regular basis after wanted men. The knowledge of how dangerous this job was made it even harder to stay with the others when his heart told him he should just ride on to Tayler Station and stay put. A glance at Buck told him the other man was deep into the conversation of the coming fight and he sighed silently, he wouldn’t trust anyone but Buck to do what was right for Anna if something happened to him. Thinking back to that letter he’d put in his trunk with Buck’s name on it he felt a sharp pain in his chest, he’d asked more of Buck than anybody could ever really expect of another and yet he knew that Buck wouldn’t let him down, in fact he’d die trying to fulfill his wishes. Wishing he could just skip this part of his job Ike turned his attention back to the fire that licked at the wood Lou had tossed into it’s depths and felt his body start to relax, no matter what danger lay ahead they’d face it together like the family they were. Amazed at how much he’d come to rely on those he rode with, Ike knew that there had been a time that he’d dreaded being around folks, where trust had been a commodity that he’d hoarded, and friendships were nonexistent in his life. All that had changed when he’d met Buck and they’d become fast friends, now he didn’t feel so much like the freak, the odd one out. He had friends, family, and more than that he had a girl that loved him for him, not some illusion that he’d put on. “Hey Ike, you with us over there or not?” Cody teased as Ike sat staring into the flames, lost in thought. *I’m thinking, you want something?* “No. Just wondering why you hadn’t put your three cents in to this.” Cody replied. *I’ll let you know when I have something valuable to say.* Ike promised and tugged his hat down over his eyes, effectively ending the conversation. “Leave him be Cody.” Buck muttered and glanced at Ike. Something was bothering him, and yet he knew better than to press the silent man. Pushing on him would only mean he’d take longer to say whatever was on his mind. “If we’re gonna get an early start we should bunk down.” Kid commented quietly with only a brief glance at Lou. “Night boys, night Lou.” “Good night Kid.” Lou replied and curled up on her bedroll. Sliding into an uneasy sleep the boys shifted within their bedrolls as the darkness spread until it had taken over even the fire that still glowed in the campfire. With one on guard against the unknown the boys rotated until dawn’s early fingers crept across the sky, waking Buck who roused the others before starting on making another pot of coffee. “How far you figure we’ll get this morning?” Jimmy asked glancing at Ike who’d risen to saddle his horse. “If them boys are in that canyon then we’re closer to them then we think.” “If we push hard we should get to Capital City day after tomorrow at the latest.” Kid declared buckling his gun into place. “Unless of course we come across trouble before we get there.” *Capital City’s only a half days hard ride east of here.* Ike declared. *Anna and I go all the time.* “Who’s Anna?” Cody demanded with a slight frown. *A girl.* Ike replied. *The trails not marked so it’s kinda hard to find it. From her place is a day’s ride, and we’re a five hour ride away from where she’s at, that means that it’s half a days hard ride to Capital City.* Smiling Ike shrugged, *You should’ve taken the Wellsburg run more often, lots of things you’d have learned.* Glowering at Ike Cody shifted and moved to saddle his own horse without comment. As soon as coffee was made they sat back down for a few minutes, it was best to come up with plan and they needed to keep their wits about them if they were to be successful. “So how are we going to do this?” Cody inquired. “If they’re in that cave we’re not going to be able to get them out.” “I don’t know.” Kid shrugged. “I’ve never heard of anything that would help get someone out of a cave before. We may just have to wait them out. We’ve got enough supplies to last a few days, that might be an option.” “They’re gonna be just as hard to take down if they ain’t in that cave.” Jimmy pointed out. “In case you’ve forgotten they are outlaws.” “We ain’t forgotten.” Kid replied quietly, a frown marring his brow as he considered the options that they had. “I think it’s safe to say that them being out in the open is safer for us then for them. It’s too bad we don’t know exactly where they’re at.” “Yeah but if we can get to that cave and if they aren’t there I can track ‘em.” Buck reminded him quickly. “That way we could successfully get the drop on those men.” “Sounds good.” Kid rose and glanced upwards. “Ain’t gonna get much done sittin’ here though, come on we’d best get going.” Rising Lou followed Kid and the others a quick glance at Ike had her hiding her confusion. For some reason it didn’t look like he’d even paid any attention to the discussion, instead he had a far off look in his eye as though his mind was miles away. “You got an idea?” Lou whispered walking next to Ike. Shaking his head Ike glanced down at the tiny rider, *Nope. Just thinking about the lay of the land.* Nodding Lou mounted gracefully and fell into step with the others as they galloped toward the coming fight.     Chapter Two   Laying among the rocks of the ledge the boys stared down at the milling horses and two wagons that sat awaiting riders. “Damn this is bad.” Cody muttered. “If we go in there we’re gonna get picked off, if we stay up here we miss them all together.” “Not necessarily.” Buck replied with a glance at Kid. “Look, if we hurry it up and get down there we should be able to lay a trap.” *Buck’s right. They’re not ready to go, some of those horses aren’t even saddled yet, looks like they’re just getting ready to go.* Ike signed quickly. *We’ll just keep to the rocks, that way they’ll never see us.* “Ike’s right. Come on.” Kid whispered quickly and backed away from the edge to move quickly albeit stealthily down a nearly invisible trail to where there was more cover and an easier shot for them. “How come Teaspoon didn’t come with us?” Lou suddenly asked. “Last I heard he was Marshall.” “Ask him when we get back.” Kid grunted with a shrug before glancing at her. “And then we’ll help tar and feather him.” Smiling at the slight joke Lou shook her head and glanced at the opening of the cave. “Look. I think they’re moving.” “Looks that way.” Kid replied noting Jimmy had already palmed his gun. “You in a hurry Hickok?” “Yeah. I got a card game waiting for me.” Jimmy replied. “And I don’t intend to miss it.” Shaking his head Kid shifted and glanced back to see the last of the eight man gang walk out of the cave followed by a ninth, who looked more battered and beaten than anyone should be when they’re a willing accomplice. “Wait until they’re a little further away from the opening.” “Like now?” Jimmy glanced at Kid frustration setting in at the other man’s attempts at bossing him. Studying the tall southerner with a furtive glance Jimmy sighed, Kid wasn’t even focusing on him, he was watching the men below them for a sign of weakness, something anything that could be exploited. “Hold it!” Kid hollered down to the men and ducked when bullets started to fly. “Stop them from getting back inside.” He hissed shooting at the men, glad that Buck and Ike were shooting at the opening of the cave, effectively blocking the men’s retreat. Ducking the bullets that splintered the rocks around them, Ike shifted into a better position then opened fire on the men. He hit one mid chest, and another high up in the leg, near the hip before he felt a sharp burning sensation that seemed to suck all the air out of his lungs. Gasping he raised a hand to his chest and noted the fresh blood that trailed down his fingers, a glance at the others showed no one else had been hit and he felt a moment’s relief. Firing at the men below them, he felt a moment’s satisfaction push aside the pain as he got another before his gun slipped from his hand and he shifted, his hand going up to clutch at his chest as the pain spread, effectively cutting off his air. Feeling the first twinges of darkness creeping into his vision he shook his head desperately, as though that would clear his vision. Laying flat out he stifled a groan when another bullet hit a mere inch from his shoulder even as he glanced almost sightlessly at the others before the darkness closed in and the sounds of the firefight drifted into nothing. Glancing at Ike Kid froze, “Buck check on Ike.” He snapped seeing Ike laying so still was a shock but the spreading pool of blood he lay in sent cold chills down his spine as the other man moved over to where Ike lay.   Rolling his friend over, Buck knew that Ike was gone, a huge wound in his chest right above his heart told him that the spirits had taken Ike. Feeling a suffocating weight on his chest Buck struggled to breathe even as he glanced at the others and shook his head. “No.” He whispered and jumped when the boys turned back to the fight with renewed fury, grief streaking through him as he held his best friend in his arms, uncaring that his clothes were being soaked with his blood, or that tears ran down his face in unchecked fury. Leaning over him Buck rocked slightly, grief tearing at his soul until all he could feel was a deep and merciless pain that seemed to drag him under until all he could do was drown in it. Glancing at the men that lay below them Kid closed his eyes, there were three that were alive and would have to be taken into town but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Shifting back on his heels he ran his hands through his hair, sending the waves into a careless disarray and glanced away from the others to hide the tears that filled his eyes. Feeling a touch on his arm he glanced up at Lou who hunkered next to him. “Kid.” Lou said. “What do we do now? We need to take Ike home.” “We will.” Kid whispered past the lump in his throat, “We will.” Pulling her close he hugged her and drew on her strength, offering what comfort he could to ease her pain. Tightening his grip when she burrowed into him to stifle the sound of her sobs, Kid glanced at the others and noted Buck still sat holding Ike and knew that they had to get the men to town and take Ike home. “What are we going to do now?” Cody asked softly, the usual sparkle of joy gone from his eyes making him look older than his time. “Lou and I’ll take those men to Capital City, the rest of you take Ike home.” Kid replied gruffly. “We’ll be home directly after turning those men over.” “I’ll do it.” Jimmy said softly, too softly, to silkily for the others to be sure he’d control his temper. “No Jimmy. They need you.” Looking into Jimmy’s eyes Kid felt his heart break even more at the tears shimmering just below the surface. “Go with them.” Nodding Jimmy tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and turned back to Buck and Ike. “I’ll get the horses.” Sitting there on the hard ground Buck barely heard him, all he could hear, all he could feel was the crashing waves of pain that hit him with each breath. They’d all known the dangers of their job, and yet they’d never expected it to be one of them. Now he’d lost part of his very soul, his world was gone and he needed something to cling to or he’d drown in the grief that tore at him. “Buck?” Kid’s soft voice had him glancing up. “Take him home. Ike deserves to go home.” Nodding Buck shifted. “Did we win?” “Yeah we did. But at a very high price.” Kid replied and took Katy’s rein along with Lou who’d mounted Lightening. Turning their mounts they headed for where the men lay without a backwards glance at the men who’d mounted up and started for Sweetwater with their burden.   Riding slowly the boys pushed onwards, ignoring the setting sun, their only thought to get home to let their friend rest in peace. When it was too dark to see they pulled up and made a cold camp, laying Ike out and covering him with the bedroll he carried.  Tucking it under the edge of his body Buck felt a fresh wave of pain and guilt hit him broadside and he closed his eyes to hide the tears that burned at the back of his eyes. Sitting around the fire the boys were silent, one ear cocked to hear hoof beats waiting for Lou and Kid to catch up and knowing that they wouldn’t. Each lost in his own thoughts, they kept their silence for a short time then bunked down and faced away from the other, not wanting the others to see their silent grief. Blinking rapidly Buck stared at Ike’s prone body and let the tears come, he knew that they wouldn’t stop the pain but they might ease it. Listening to the wind he knew both Cody and Jimmy were doing the same thing, each lost in their own pain at the prospect of facing life without their friend, their brother. Seeking solace in the dark, Buck closed his eyes and prayed for sleep to claim him so he could escape the nightmare that life had handed him.   Dawn’s fingers had just began to peak over the horizon when the boys were awakened by the sound of hoof beats and rose to stare back down the trail. Feeling only relief at the paint and black horses that were trotting toward them, the boys pushed their emotions away and waited for the others to catch up. “You must have ridden all night.” Buck commented as Kid swung down followed by Lou. A glance had Buck feeling a prick of displeasure, it looked like Kid had been in a fight, a slight bruise marred one cheek and his lip was a little swollen. “Naw, ran into the deputy Marshall from Capital City about five miles away from the canyon, gave him the prisoners and that other man who was beat up.” “What happened to your face?” Jimmy asked. “One of the prisoners wasn’t too anxious to go to jail.” Kid replied quickly and reached for a cup of coffee. “I figure we should get home this afternoon maybe.” “Yeah.” Buck shrugged. “Depending on how things go might be after dark.” “We should go then.” Jimmy declared ignoring how Lou had moved to lean against the Kid, it looked like grief made everything clearer. Studying the young couple he sighed, it looked like Lou had forgiven Kid, a choice that for them was a good one, a necessary one. He loved them dearly but he knew they needed each other. Mounting up the boys watched as Buck fashioned two poles into a travois and tied his bedroll between them to make it easier traveling for everyone before putting Ike’s body in it and covering it. Starting out the boys fell into step, the silence between them unbroken except for the snort of a horse or the passing of the water canteen. Pulling up in late afternoon the boys stared at the familiar windmill in the distance and glanced at each other. “This is going to be hard.” Kid murmured. “How do we tell Rachel and Teaspoon?” “I don’t know, we’ll just have to do it.” Buck replied quickly and nudged his horse forward.   “Teaspoon riders coming.” Rachel called to the station master who was in the barn. “The boys?” “I think so only they’re walking in.” Rachel replied as Teaspoon joined her to watch the slow procession as they got closer. “Something’s gone wrong.” Teaspoon declared noting the quiet and the empty horse. “Ike’s not with them.” “Yes he his.” Buck replied and glanced behind Ike’s horse. “It was a very expensive mission Teaspoon.” “Oh no.” Rachel breathed as the boys dismounted and headed to help Buck carry Ike into the barn. Following them she noted the way the boys all carried him, there was no hesitation, no shying away from the obvious, instead there was a deep bond that each drew on. Drawing strength from the others until they were a solid unit. “We’re going to give him a Kiowa burial.” Buck declared. “Tomorrow we’ll take him up.” “I’m sorry boys.” Teaspoon said feeling saddened at the loss of one of his boys. “I know how much Ike meant to you all.” “Yeah.” Buck glanced at him then turned to the others. “We should get the horses taken care of.” Moving past the aging station master they moved to care for the horses ignoring the way Teaspoon watched with a pinched look on his face, even ignoring Rachel who stood a few feet away, crying softly as she watched them.   Chapter Three   Anna watched the horizon uneasily, Ike was overdue, in fact he was more than a week late and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad had happened. Sighing she turned and walked back inside where her friend and confident Walker Morrison sat at the table. “He ain’t coming is he?” The young man asked softly noting how the words were like blows to Anna. “Something’s happened Walker. Ike wouldn’t just not come, he’d have sent word if he was put on another run or something.” “Maybe he’s had enough..” “Don’t.” Anna whirled furiously to stare at him, “Ike isn’t like that. He loves me, we made promises and Ike McSwain’s never broken a promise. Which means something has happened to keep him from coming to me.” “Anna you have to face reality some time. If your Pa finds out about him..” “I don’t care.” Anna whispered sinking into a chair. “I love him and I don’t care about Pa. He’s not my worry anymore.” “No?” Sucking in a quick breath Walker faced the young woman, “And what about your baby? If your Pa finds out that you ain’t married and with a child on the way, he’ll kill him. And you!” “Who said I ain’t married?” Anna replied. “You don’t understand Walker. I need to know what happened, Ike is part of me.” “Anna I do understand. You loved him more than anyone in the world, but if what you’re thinking is true you have to start thinking of you. Allen Tayler isn’t forgiving to people, least of all to his kids.” “Doesn’t matter. I go by McSwain now anyway.” “Anna.” Exasperation rang in the words as the man glared at her from across the table. “No! I’ve had it with being pushed and prodded at until I do what is expected of me. I want Ike and I don’t care who else knows it.” Anna replied furiously as the door opened and a tall, broad shouldered man stepped inside. “Anna Marie. Walker. How are you today?” “Just fine sir.” Walker said glancing at Anna then at her father. “And yourself?” “I’m well. See to my horse.” “Yes sir.” Rising he patted Anna on the shoulder then headed outside. “I think you and I need to have a chat.” “What about Father?” Anna crossed her arms over her chest and shifted so her back was to the counter. “What you want?” “Duncan tells me there’s been a man staying here regularly. One that doesn’t work for me.” “Ike.” Anna shrugged. “So?” “Where is this young man?” “Why don’t you tell me?” Anna rose to her full five foot four height. “You seem to have all the answers, even to questions nobody’s asking.” “Keep a civil tongue in your head.” Allen snarled. “Or what?” Anna glared at her father. “You going to hit me? Like you did Ma? I don’t recommend it.” “Listen Anna Marie Tayler..” There was steel in his voice as he straighten and stared at her in mixed disbelief and rising fury. “McSwain.” Anna interrupted. “My name is Anna Marie McSwain now.” “Since when?” “Oh going on three and a half months now. That man that stays here, is my husband.” Anna lied smoothly, glaring at her father she shook her head and met him head on. “What’s he do?” Allen demanded after a few seconds of shocked, furious silence, his big hands knotted at his sides. “Uh Anna you got company.” Walker stuck his head in the door and waited for Anna to precede him. Watching her he waited until the man wearing a badge stopped next to them. “Ma’am.” “Hi Tom.” “Got a letter from the Territorial Marshall here, seems that there was something done in this part of the territory that fell under my jurisdiction. Your young fella was killed in the line of duty..” Tom started only to freeze when she nearly fainted. “You alright?” “Yes.” Anna whispered. “Thank you Tom. I appreciate this.” “No problem. Sorry about it though, I know y’all had plans.” Smiling tearfully Anna leaned on Walker as he helped her settle onto the porch. “Was there anything else?” “No ma’am. Just thought you should know.” “Thanks Tom.” Walker said. “We appreciate your lettin’ us know.” Nodding Tom glanced with disdain at Allen Tayler and whirled his horse to gallop off toward Capital City. Unlike the marshals of some of the other towns, he patrolled a large area because he was the only law until a body got into Rock Creek, but he knew that the Marshall from Rock Creek often sent his deputies where ever there was trouble. Shaking his head sadly he wondered why Allen was harassing his daughter, he didn’t like it but he was powerless to stop it.   Shaking at the news, Anna rocked on the porch as the tears came, gasping for breath between sobs she glanced at Walker. “Pack the wagon Walker.” “Where do you think you’re going?” Allen demanded and stepped back when his daughter rose and turned to stare coldly at him. “To honor my husband’s wishes.” Anna snarled. “And to get as far away from you as I can without taking a boat!” Storming past him she stomped inside and slammed the door leaving Walker shaking his head and Allen staring at the closed door in shock. “Well Mister Tayler, sir, looks like you really did it this time.” Walker declared rocking back on his heels, a slight grin twisting his lips. “Personally, I wouldn’t have risked what you’ve risked but what do I know I’m only a poor boy.” “Oh shut up and hitch up the wagon.” Allen snapped and walked toward the door only to pause when Walker spoke. “I wouldn’t. Knowing Anna she’s probably got a shotgun aimed right at the door.” Walker turned and headed for the barn, his steps light despite the risks he knew he was taking. His wife wouldn’t be too happy with the thought that he was bringing home a woman, much less one that was three months pregnant. Hitching the team quickly he glanced back at the cabin to see Allen standing exactly where he’d left him, the look on his face one of mixed shock and pain at the thought that he’d driven his daughter away.  Seeing Anna step out of the cabin he walked to meet her, taking the faded valise that she carried and setting it on the wagon seat before helping her aboard. “All set.” “All set.”   Standing on the porch of the cabin, Allen Tayler watched his only daughter drive away without looking back, her posture stiff and formal despite the fact that she was still crying softly. Feeling a sinking sensation in his gut, he wondered what he was thinking when he’d tried to force her into being the woman his late wife had been, obedient, docile even tolerant of his rants, and often of his beatings as well. Somehow Anna had turned out to be more inclined to hit back then take it and he’d learned early on that she’d inherited his temper and stubborn streak. “Goodbye,” He whispered on the slight breeze as the wagon disappeared down the road, and around the corner until he couldn’t see it anymore. Glancing around he sighed, the cabin had been well built, the barn was sturdy and in good shape, and he felt a tinge of pride. His daughter had accomplished more in her stay at this god forsaken station then any man would ever have expected, and yet he’d driven her away, driven her to move halfway across the country, taking his second chance with her and his hope that she’d forgive and forget drifted away on the wind before ever really taking wings.   “So where to?” Walker asked softly as Anna clutched her bag and stared straight ahead. “I don’t know. Ike and I talked about starting our own farm but we never decided where.” Anna hiccuped softly. “All I have is what’s in this bag Walker, I have no idea where to go from here.” “Well girl, looks like you’re going home with me then.” Walker said softly. “Emma’s going to have kittens but that can’t be helped. You need a woman ‘round for when that baby comes and I can’t leave her alone too long.” “Thanks Walker. Just give me a few days, then I’ll know what to do.” Anna whispered shakily as they drove along the worn trail headed for Missouri. “Yeah.” Walker glanced at her with a frown on his brow, “A few days is all you need.” Turning back to the road he sighed, he’d wager a good portion of income that Anna wouldn’t have any more of an idea what to do in a month, much less in a few days. With Anna it was all or nothing, she’d grieve the same way she loved, hard and forever. Clucking to the team he urged them into a lope and shook his head slightly, he’d promised her time, and that was what he’d give her.   Chapter Four   Sitting alone in the quiet of the barn Buck stared at the grey mare that even now, four months after Ike’s death still stood in a stall patiently awaiting someone to pay attention to her. Sighing he walked over and reached out to pat the mare, only too aware of how she could snap as she was prone to do. Feeling a slight shock when the mare instead nudged him gently and stood while he patted her, he closed his eyes as a fresh wave of pain hit him. Despite the fact that the burial had gone well, and everyone had slowly started to live again, Buck didn’t feel he could. Something kept him mired in his grief, he wasn’t sure if it was guilt, or just anger at Ike for dying but he knew that it would be a long time before he could feel anything again. Hearing someone coming Buck straightened and glanced up to see Rachel walk into the dark interior of the barn. “Buck.” “Something I can do for you?” “We need Ike’s trunk cleaned out..” Rachel started. “Why? There ain’t another rider coming in to replace him, Noah’s done that. Why do you need his trunk?” Buck snapped angrily. “Because it’s time. You can’t keep putting it off.” Rachel replied softly. “I know it hurts Buck, but he needs to be at peace, you keeping things like they were ain’t any good for either of you.” Turning away from her Buck had to admit that she was right, only he was clinging to his memories, the others had moved on although he knew they still grieved, none understood the depths of the pain he felt.  Standing there staring at the wall, he waited until Rachel had left then turned to the door, a single tear rolling down his face. Brushing it away he took a deep breath and nodded slightly, he’d clean out Ike’s trunk and put his things into his own. That way he’d still have Ike’s memories, and Rachel could have her damn trunk back. Walking to the bunkhouse he opened the door and stepped into the interior, thankful that the others were still out fixing fence or something. Moving to the familiar bunks he pulled out a dust covered trunk and lifted the lid after brushing his hand lovingly over it. Staring into the contents he sighed, a few clothes, the small wooden box that held his father’s watch, a couple of letters, and a small velvet pouch, were all that lay within the box. Reaching in he pulled out the clothes and set them beside him to go through later, then reached for the letters only to sit back when he recognized his name on one. Pulling the letter open he sat on the floor, his back against the bunk and opened the crisp paper to reveal Ike’s familiar handwriting. “Dear Buck; I know this is hard for you. Heck it’s hard for me, I’m dead! You’ve always been there for me, you’ve always been my friend, my brother and I’ve always known that I could trust you completely. I know you’ll never understand this request I’m about to make of you but I feel it’s my only choice. Please take care of Anna for me? She’s a hell of a woman, but even she needs a shoulder to cry on and a friend to talk to. I know Walker and his wife will be there for her but they can’t understand why she’d get involved with a man like me, I know you will. Anna lived out at Tayler Station but I imagine that she’s already moved on if she knows I’m dead and the only place that I know of that she’d go would be Walker’s place. He lives in Missouri, twenty odd miles east of Saint Joe. I’ve never met his wife, but from what I’ve heard about her, she seems like a nice woman. Please Buck go and see her, take her the small black can that sits in the bottom of this wooden box and tell her I love her, always. Your friend Ike McSwain.” Staring at the words Buck felt his world tilt again and shook his head, Anna was a real person now. Perhaps Ike had spoken of her only in passing but Buck knew from this letter that the man had truly loved her and he knew that he’d do as he was asked. Throughout life Ike had very rarely asked Buck for much, indeed he’d asked for so little that honor demanded he follow through on his friend request. Turning he dug through the box until he found the item that Ike had pointed out and lifted it out to set it on his lap, opening it he stared at the folded bills that lay there along with a ring, and a letter that Buck wondered if he should read but thought better of it. “Missouri’s a long way old boy.” Buck whispered softly. “I’ll leave tonight, that way I’ll be well on my way.” Turning he quickly emptied the trunk and transferred everything into his own before grabbing some clean clothes and filling his saddlebags for the journey he was going on. Hearing someone coming Buck slammed the lids down and shoved them under the bunks before picking up the bags and heading for the door. Opening it he stepped past Kid and Lou who were on their way in. “Buck you staying..?” Lou asked as Buck disappeared into the barn and came back out a moment later with Ike’s grey as they’d dubbed her. “Looks like he’s gonna work with that monster.” Lou muttered with a frown at Kid. “I wonder when he’s gonna let himself start to heal?” “I doubt if he’s going to do that for a long time.” Kid replied softly. “I don’t think he knows how to. Ike’s always been there for as far back as he wants to remember, now he’s gone.” “I know.” Lou shrugged. “I hope time is all he needs.” Watching Buck groom the mare Kid wondered if Lou was right, something told him she wasn’t. Shaking his head he stepped inside, he had his own worries like getting ready for that run he was taking with Lou and avoiding the guys and their teasing.     Laying in the darkened bunkhouse Buck listened to everyone as they slid into a restful slumber, Kid and Lou had left hours ago and he needed to get out of here before everyone woke up and tried to stop him. Rising he padded barefoot out the door and stopped to put his boots on before heading for the barn. Grabbing some tack he grabbed the first horse he came across and groaned but saddled her anyway, he’d probably have to walk part of the way to Missouri but he didn’t have time to deal with everyone and their questions. Leading the mare out into the moonlight he mounted her agilely and turned her northwest before urging her into a fast jog. Pushing her once they were away from the house he let her run as they headed for the one place he’d sworn he’d go.   Pacing the mare he rode, Buck pulled up and dismounted, he’d been on the trail for three weeks now and was relaxed at least in body, even though he couldn’t of said where he was going really or when he’d get back. Glancing backwards he wondered what the boys were doing and if Kid and Lou had worked out their problems, but felt little emotional ties to them. While he loved his express family, he just didn’t have it in him to feel anything. Maybe this trip to Missouri was a good thing. “Well old girl. What do you think?”Buck asked softly. “We’re half a days hard ride out of Saint Joe, we could get in by dark then head for Walker’s place tomorrow morning.” The mare nickered in seemingly agreement and nudged Buck’s hand. Despite her reputation, the mare had proven to be a well trained horse once you got her away from the barns, corrals, and pens. Making a small fire he settled for a cup of coffee then doused the fire and mounted up and nudging the mare into a canter and heading for Saint Joe Missouri. Riding into town he glanced around, it had grown since he’d been here last. There were more canvas houses along the east flank of the town, and the sound of hammers and men’s voices shouting filled the air as they worked to build stores, restaurants and such. Pulling up in front of the only hotel in town that took express riders in, Buck dismounted grabbed his bedroll, saddlebags and headed inside. Renting a room was quick, and painless or as painless as it would ever be for him before he headed outside to take care of his horse.   Sitting in the relative quiet of the hotel room, Buck pulled out the small box that he’d carried since Rock Creek and stared at it for a few minutes before putting it back in his bags. Laying on his back on the bed, he wondered briefly if having a drink wouldn’t help ease some of his pain but thought better of it, he had enough on his plate without getting called a drunken Indian. Closing his eyes Buck tried to sleep, even as the shadows crept across the floor leaving the room in total darkness. Despite his exhaustion from riding all day, his sleep was restless, leaving him more tired then rested the next morning, his dreams haunted of past days and the image of Ike’s lifeless body laying on the hard ground. Dragging his tired body from the bed, Buck splashed water on his face and ran his hands through his hair before slapping his hat on and heading downstairs. After turning over the key to the room Buck stepped out into the early morning light and took a deep breathe of the cold, crisp, dewy morning air. “Morning.” The familiar voice had Buck turning to see the express office worker walking toward him. “You on a run there Buck?” “Nope. Heading out to see someone.” Buck replied quickly. “Just on my way to get my horse.” “See you around.” The man shuffled off, a paper tucked under one arm and his lunch pail in another. The express station shared it’s office with another business, so Buck didn’t pay too much attention to what the man was carrying, he had little or no interest in the man anyway. Moving quickly to the livery, he saddled up and headed east to find Walker’s place. Letting the mare walk along he lost himself in the thoughts he’d pushed aside, even ignored from day one of this little side journey. What kind of woman was Anna Tayler? From what Ike had said of her in passing she didn’t seemed to be the kind of woman that ran from trouble, and yet she’d clearly hidden from him and the others. Remembering the other man he had no problem picturing her as a shy, soft spoken young woman who looked rather plain, and liked to keep to herself. Buck shook his head, he’d find out what was what when the time came, no sense borrowing trouble before he was ready. Nudging the mare forward, he relaxed as she broke into a lope and they headed down the road.   Anna glanced up as Walker rode into her yard. He’d given her the foreman’s house, a small two room shack that sat half a mile from the main house, overlooking a pond, and from her back windows she could see the horses in the pasture behind his house as they grazed. She’d spent many evenings on the porch watching the sun set and listening to the sounds of summer fade into autumn. “Morning Anna.” “Morning Walker, what brings you out here?” Anna replied holding the door open for him. Shaking his head, Walker ran a cursory glance over her. The once vibrant woman he’d known had faded to be replaced, by a pale, exhausted, image of her. Her long hair hung down her back in a thick braid, the dark strands looking in need of a good washing, her once vibrant blue eyes were haunted, and dark smudges lay under her eyes. Taking a deep breath Walker faced her head on, “The doc’s coming out in an hour. You’d best be ready and at the main house..” “Why?” “Because you’re eight months pregnant Anna and you’re suppose to have a checkup.” “He can come here.” Anna replied reaching for a cup to pour coffee in. Despite her emotional state, she maintained the house with fierce pride. No dust had accumulated on the cupboards, the floor was swept clean and the windows shone in the sun. Everything was in its place, and yet the place didn’t feel any warmer or lived in than it had the day she’d arrived. “No he can’t. Look we’re worried about you. Unless we ride herd on you, you don’t eat. You spend most nights pacing on the porch, and if you’re not doing that you’re hiding in the dark. You can’t keep this up Anna. Your baby needs you.” “I’m doing just fine without your opinion.” Anna snapped turning to face him. “I’ve been doing some thinking, and trying to decide on what to do is hard.” “For God’s sake Anna, he’s gone. Ike isn’t going to walk through that door and say well what’s the plan?” Walker snapped throwing his hands in the air. “I know you loved him, but you have a child to think of, and friends who care. You’ve got to let him go.” “Get out Walker.” Anna said moving to stare out the window. “I don’t need your opinion.” “Yes you do.” Walking moved closer to her he paused. “It’s okay to cry for him Anna, just don’t let your grief destroy both you and your child.” Turning he headed outside and mounted his horse before heading for the house. “You’re wrong Walker.” Anna whispered tearfully, “Very wrong. I can’t let him go, without him I don’t know if I can make it.” Patting her rounded abdomen she took a deep, shaky breath ignoring the tears pooling in her eyes and turned away from the window. Sitting down in the comfortable rocker she leaned her head back and stared at the fireplace, “How do I let him go? I loved him so much.” Hearing hoof beats she rose and swiped a hand across her face to move to the door intent on telling Walker to go to Hell. Opening the door and stepping out she froze, coming up the short walk was a tall, handsome man with flowing black hair, and coppery skin that told of his mixed blood. “Can I help you?” Anna asked quietly, woodenly as the man dusted himself off. Glancing up at the sound of a woman’s voice Buck stared into the haunted blue gaze of a young woman with long dark hair, exhaustion sat upon her like a heavy burden, weighing her down as she moved, but it was her obvious pregnancy that had him pausing. “I’m looking for Anna Tayler. I was told she was out this way Ma’am.” “I’m Anna.” The woman moved forward with a disinterested shuffle. “What can I do for you Mister?” “Cross, Buck Cross.” Buck offered his hand although he didn’t expect her to shake it. Feeling slightly surprised when she did, he released her hand quickly and reached for his saddlebags. “Miss Tayler..” “McSwain.” Anna said firmly. “I changed my name to McSwain.” Feeling his heart jump Buck swallowed, “I uh, I’m sorry about Ike.” The electrical jolt that hit him making him more than a little uncomfortable, he’d felt nothing like it before, not even with his betrothed, and then with Katherine, there had been that tingle of awareness, of physical attraction but nothing like this and something told him this wasn’t just a physical attraction. Somehow this woman who’d been tied to Ike, who had seen a part of Ike that he’d rarely let show, meant disaster to him. She presented an emotional threat he didn’t want to face. “No more than I am Mister Cross. Please come in.” Turning she made her way back inside. “I’m afraid I’ve only got black coffee.” “Thanks, that’ll be fine.” Buck settled into a chair, a glance around memorizing the sparseness of the room, it was clean and organized but it didn’t feel like home. Or at least it didn’t to him and he sighed, maybe it was his problem that he couldn’t feel anything. “What can I do for you Mister Cross?” “I have some things here that Ike wanted you to have.” Buck replied carefully avoiding looking at her as he dug into his saddlebags for the small box that he’d carried for over a thousand miles. “I realize of course that my arrival has probably put a damper on your new life..” “What new life?” Anna asked sitting down. “With your baby’s father, here.” Taking a deep breath Anna faced Buck Cross and raised her chin stubbornly. “My baby’s father is dead. He was killed months ago near Capital City in the line of duty as a deputy Mister Cross. You should know, I have it on good authority that the deputies from Rock Creek were there.” “Ike?” Buck whispered suddenly feeling an oppressive weight settle on his chest as realization dawned. The only deputy from Rock Creek that had died that day had been his best friend. “He didn’t know did he?” “No. I’d only just found out myself.” Anna replied quietly pain etched into her features making her look years older and more tired than she already did. “I loved Ike Mister Cross, and I love this child. I see nothing wrong with that.” “There’s no shame in loving someone.” Buck replied. “However it does put into a new light several things that I’m not sure you’re aware of.” “Such as?” Anna said staring at the young man. “Such as I’m Ike’s best friend, his brother; I gave him my word that I’d watch out for you. I mean to keep my word ma’am.” “Call me Anna.” “If that means staying here until you’ve decided what you’re going to do then so be it.” Buck rose and retrieved the coffee pot. “You don’t need to stay Mister Cross, I’m capable of taking care of me and my child..” “Your child is all that’s left of Ike.” Buck replied quickly. “I’m not going to turn my back on him or her, not even for you.” Taking a deep breath he faced her squarely. “I think in your best interest you should get used to the idea of having me around and underfoot cause I’m not going anywhere.” “Now wait one minute..” Anna stammered rising angrily, the flush coming up her face the only color in an otherwise pale portrait. “You think on it. I’d best see to my horse.” Rising Buck turned toward the door, with his hand on the handle he glanced at her. “Get used to seeing me around.” Stepping out he noted the young man riding toward the house and sighed. “Is there something I can do for you?” The man demanded harshly without dismounting, his hand resting on his gun at his hip. “You Walker?” “Yeah, who the hell are you?” “Buck Cross.” “Ike mentioned you. What can I do for you Mister Cross?” “I’ll be staying here with Miss McSwain so if you can arrange for the doctor to come see her I’d appreciate it.” “Doc’s at the house. I’ll send him down.” “Damn you Walker, I told you..” Anna snarled from where she stood on the doorstep. “I’ve got things to do Anna, take care.” Whirling his horse he galloped off toward the house, leaving her standing fuming at the men’s high handedness. Glancing at Buck Cross she swore under her breath, that would be the day that someone came in and made her decisions for her. Turning she stomped back into the house and down the short corridor to her bedroom where she slammed the door and lay down on the bed to cry into her pillow.   Anna rolled over and pulled her pillow over top her head, trying to block out the sound of a hammer in the near vicinity. Opening her eyes she stared at the rising sun and sighed, “Damn. Who the heck is building at this hour?” Struggling out of bed she padded barefoot to the front door and peered out. The man who’d shown up the day before was standing next to the broken section of fence on the pen that should have housed her horses, a stack of new boards next to him, and a hammer in his hand. “Do you mind?” Anna hollered. “There are people trying to sleep around here.” “Not anymore there aren’t. Its past dawn, time to get up. There are chores to do.” Buck replied without shifting his gaze from the fence he was fixing. Her silence the night before at dinner and her belligerent attitude all afternoon had given him a new understanding of the word frustration, in fact he’d decided that she was worse than Lou at her best. “Go to hell.” Anna snapped and slammed the door.  Stomping down the hall to her bedroom she slammed that door and crawled back into bed, she’d be hanged if some man was going to tell her it was time to get out of bed.  Jumping she stifled a shriek when Buck appeared in the doorway with a shirt, socks, and a dark colored skirt.  “This is my bedroom..” She started furiously. “Tough. Get dressed, or I’ll do it for you.” Buck snapped tossing the clothes on the bed. When she folded her arms over her chest and glared at him he took a couple of steps closer, “I mean it.” Grabbing the clothes, Anna held them up like a shield and glared at him. “Fine I’ll be out in five minutes.” “Make it two.” Buck said slamming the door, a dark look on his face as he stalked back outside to the fence. Half an hour later, with Anna holding one end of the boards and Buck nailing them into place they had the pens fixed to perfection and had paused to check out the horse shelter. “Looks like it’ll stand another couple of months.” Anna muttered. “Yeah but it should stand at least another few years.” Buck declared. “We’ll have a bite to eat then get it fixed. I’ve fixed sandwiches so grab one and start eating. I want to finish that shelter before dark.” Staring at him furiously, Anna grabbed a sandwich and settled on the ground to eat it in silence, her mind working feverishly to find a way to get rid of the annoyance that had claimed her living room floor. “Where’d you meet him?” Buck asked glancing at her to see her staring furiously at him. “On a run. He stopped in at my station to get a fresh horse.” Anna replied intuitively knowing who he was talking about. “Scared the daylights out of me.” “Why?” “Cause of what he made me feel.” Anna shrugged. “ He made me feel alive and cold then hot.” With an uneasy glance at her new bunkmate she smiled slightly. “Funny, even after I got to know him it was always like that. We always had something to talk about, something to share.” “Yeah.” Buck sighed. “Ike was always drawing or writing in that journal of his. Funny but it seemed like he needed to put everything down so that it was solid, unerasable.” “Maybe he knew he didn’t have a long time.” Anna mused softly. “Maybe he knew that he could die at anytime and wanted to leave a lasting impression.” “Maybe.” Buck glanced away from the perception in her eyes and stared at the lean-to that he’d decided to rebuild to keep her busy. “Sitting here ain’t getting that shelter fixed. Come on, there’s still lots of daylight left and a building to finish.” “Slavedriver.” Anna muttered under her breath. “You haven’t got a clue.” Buck replied helping her up before moving away from her to pick up the hammer and hand it to her. “Start knocking boards off.” “Do you not realize I’m pregnant?” “Pregnant yes, handicapped no. Best get those boards off.” Buck replied walking past her with an evil little grin at her fury. “Save the temper for someone who’ll run from it. I’ve dealt with a woman who’s got just as much of a temper as you do, and I’m not scared.” “Go to hell Cross.” Anna snapped and hefted the hammer only to have it jerked from her hands and tossed on the ground. Staring into the furious black gaze, Anna felt her heart jerk and stumbled backwards. Something about this man sent warning signals to her brain. He could disrupt her self-pity and make her live again. Despite his quiet tones, and even manner he was dangerous, not just to her self-induced misery but to her whole world. “Move.” Buck snarled facing down against her. He could sense another pair of eyes watching them and knew that Walker was only a shout away yet he didn’t feel threatened by the other man. In fact the only person who bothered him was the impossible woman in front of him who refused to start thinking about living again. “I really don’t like you.” Anna snapped and stepped past him with her chin in the air. “Good. The feeling’s mutual now get to work.” Buck snapped and stood watching her do as he’d instructed. Deep down he knew that it was the only way she’d face the fact that Ike was gone, but it wasn’t his death she was trying to hide from, it was living. The growing realization that she was dangerous to him, to his peace of mind and to his memory of Ike tugged at his mind, making him surly and unresponsive to the silent looks of pleading she sent him. Shaking his head he walked over to where she stood pulling boards off and tossing them helter-skelter in anger. “They should be neatly organized Anna, we have to reuse some of them.” Buck laughed at her outraged expression and picked up a hammer. “Come on I’ll help.” “I really don’t like you Buck Cross.” Anna’s reminder brought a grin to his face as they worked the afternoon away.                                                             Chapter Five   Laying on the floor of the house Buck listened to the wind outside as it blew the branches of a tree against the windows. Shifting he stared up at the ceiling, his hands crossed beneath his head and focused on the softer sound in the background, one that was as familiar to him as the back of his hand. Anna lay behind the bedroom door crying softly into her pillow, too tired to do more than that as she mourned the loss of her baby’s father and the man she’d loved dearly. Fighting the urge to rise and go to her Buck sighed, keeping an eye on her was harder than he’d thought. Despite his best attempts he had developed a fondness for the stubborn beauty who could swear just as badly as the men, and had thrown herself into the farms chores in a hopes that they would keep her from thinking of a man who’d been lost to her. Frowning slightly, Buck wondered how he’d never guessed, never realized that Ike’s secret was a woman somewhere. He’d seen his friend get very nervous and anxious when the Wolfsburg, Capital City run came round. In fact he’d been assigned it once, and Ike had traded him for a shorter, routine run with an almost insane urgency. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Buck whispered to the darkness, “Why didn’t you let us into that part of your life?” Not getting an answer from the night he closed his eyes as Anna’s quiet sobs faded to hiccupy breathing, her soft voice murmuring incoherently in her sleep as exhaustion claimed her. Cursing Buck stretched under the blankets and closed his eyes, he pushed Anna as hard as he pushed himself, and yet there never seemed to be enough time to exhaust himself. Knowing it would be another half hour or so before he could finally claim sleep he kicked off the covers and padded barefoot to the stove. After stoking it, he sat down at the table and stared out at the twinkling stars, his mind on his friend. Ike had been there for him from that day in that tiny town’s main street when he’d jumped into a fight that wasn’t his own, when he had taken a beating that wasn’t his own. They’d faced hatred, indifference, suspicion, and anger together. Ike had pulled him from his own self loathing slowly, unconsciously until they had become one unit, one wasn’t far from the other and now Ike was gone. He’d left his own legacy behind him, he’d known in his own way that he didn’t have a lot of time left in this world and had made a mark as big as his heart had been. The quiet man had said more in the time that he’d been alive then Buck would ever be able to, he’d made him face that he wasn’t just a dirty Indian, he was a man and he needed to deal with the prejudices that haunted him.  Ike had gave him his life, allowed him to be the kind of man he wanted to be not what strangers made him into. “Why’d you have to leave?” Buck whispered softly, not caring that he was alone in the room, nor that his face was wet with tears he hadn’t shed in weeks, months, their cleansing wetness helping to ease the hurt he lived with. Heading back to his bedroll he frowned slightly then turned his attention to his saddlebags, digging into them he pulled out a leather bound book that he’d ignored for months. Staring down at it in the muted light of the moon he sighed and brushed a hand across it. He debated opening it, after all it was a private thing, Ike’s journal. A means of expressing himself when he couldn’t talk to anyone about a problem, a way of leaving a mark on history. Buck stared at it for a few minutes then settled on the floor next to the only lantern that still sat lit incase Anna needed to get up in the night. Turning the flame up he opened the book and started reading. The first few pages were about the first days with Buck at the Mission School, then they moved on to tell the story of Buck and Ike from his point of view until they got to Sweetwater then it spoke of the excitement and fear he’d felt when they’d joined up. Reading through it Buck smiled often, laughing slightly in some places until he came to an entry that had his breath catching. It was dated for a few weeks after they’d joined, on Ike’s first ride to Wolfsburg. Reading the lines crowded close together as though to crowd each emotion, each heart beat into the lines Buck suddenly got a glimpse into the workings of his friend’s mind. Each line spoke of a meeting at a station of a boy and a girl, and the easy rapport they’d developed that first meeting. Flipping through pages Buck skimmed the entries, skipping ones about everyone but Anna until he came to a date he could still remember clearly. It was the day after they’d ridden into Whitethorn Falls, and the entry was longer than the others. Seeing Anna’s name on it he sighed, should he read this particular entry? Should he intrude on what was obviously a very private time for Ike? Somehow he thought the words written closely together would give him some insight into the relationship that had meant so much to Ike and to the woman sleeping a few feet away behind a wooden door. Deciding hesitantly that reading it wouldn’t hurt anyone Buck settled back against the wood box he’d been leaning on and turned his attention to the book in his hands.  Reading it Buck frowned at the way Ike described meeting Anna that night they’d rode in, and the surprise he’d felt seeing the woman he’d fantasized about for weeks standing in little more than her own skin in that room he’d walked into. As he read, Buck shifted trying to shake the unease he felt at the words on the pages, his body tightening as Ike spoke of the first time he and Anna made love and the hopes and dreams he’d had for them. I hope that this is only the beginning, that when we can we’ll get married and I can live with her happily, as happily as Lou and Kid will when they quit acting like a pair of jackasses. Ike wrote, I love her so much. Many would say it’s just cause she gave me her body but it’s not that. I couldn’t have taken what she offered unless I loved her. I think I’ve loved her forever and yet somehow I doubt that we’ll have the lifetime I want. Sometimes in my dreams I see ends of things and I‘ve seen the end of our time together. I know that Anna’ll be devastated by the loss if anything happens to me but I can’t bring myself to tell her that I doubt I’ve all that much time left in this life.  I can’t shake the feeling that something or someone is out there to stop what I want. I’ve never really thought of it but I know that if anything happened to me I can trust Buck, he’s the other half of my soul, as comfortable in my skin as I am and he’d do anything to protect Anna. I know I can trust him, and I do. More importantly I hope that Anna when she meets him will trust him to. Buck never backs down from a promise and if he says he’ll do something, he’ll try his hardest. Staring at the words, Buck felt a shiver trace up his spine. Ike had so much confidence in him, so many times he’d doubted himself but he’d never wavered in his faith of him. Closing the book he set it aside and shifted down till he was laying flat on his back to stare at the ceiling again. Ike has so much faith in other people, in their abilities and yet it was scary to think that Ike knew that he’d leave this world before Buck. Sighing Buck rolled over and closed his eyes against the burning at the back of them, he didn’t want to cry anymore, he didn’t want to hurt for the loss that had been suffered. The life snuffed out too soon before he’d really had a chance to live, had a chance to know that he’d left more than a girl mourning him, he’d left a child, a new life that Buck had to protect no matter what the cost. Seeing the light from under her door Anna stared at it and listened as Buck sat reading something, sadness touched her heart as she wondered just what it was. Snuggling down into the covers she sighed and closed her eyes, tired of hurting, of everything that meant she was alone. “But you’re not alone now!” The soft voice inside her head spoke into the night. “You’re never going to be alone again.” “Yes I will.” Anna thought. “Sooner or later he’ll get tired of playing guardian angel and leave.” “He might leave, but he’ll be back. Let yourself heal Anna, don’t be afraid of living again.” “Oh shut up.” Anna snapped in her mind. “I don’t want to talk to myself, I have to get up early in the morning.” “Don’t be afraid Anna of feeling again, living again. Its time to let yourself out of that box you’ve nailed yourself into.” Pulling a pillow over her head she tried to drown out the voice in her mind and prayed for sleep. She didn’t need to start living again, she only wanted to be left alone to raise her child. Shaking the image of a tall, dark haired young man from her imagination she blanked out any thoughts and quickly slid back into a restless sleep filled with images that scared her. Images of a man she was coming to know doing things that she had never thought he’d get the chance to do, in a place that wasn’t where they were.     Chapter Six   Sitting in the late afternoon sun, Buck watched the few chickens peck at the scraps in the yard and sighed. In the three months that he’d been here he’d watched Anna slowly start to rebuild her life, not by choice but by necessity. With Walker, Emma, Doc Harper, and himself pushing at her she’d slowly started the long road to recovery. Many nights he could still hear her crying in her pillow but now with the birth of her son, Isaac, two months before; she had less time to dwell on Ike’s death; a somewhat double edged sword in his opinion. He often wondered if he should give her the journal he’d read from cover to cover and discovered that Ike had loved her so much that he’d have given anything to be with her, including his life. Feeling a touch of sorrow at the thought of the journal he sighed, he couldn’t give it to her. He couldn’t part with that piece of Ike just yet. For himself the months had been spent in misery, guilt clawing at him as he lay under the same roof as her. The anger and distrust that he’d felt when he’d first met her had slowly been eroded to be replaced by a more tolerant emotion, then that shifted and now he couldn’t think of her without wanting her, without needing her in his arms, thoughts of her haunted his dreams at night, making for the darkness to be as welcome as an abscessed tooth. The little things she did were imprinted in his mind, he knew how she moved, how she slept, how she brushed her hair and it was slowly driving him insane. He’d promised to watch over her and instead he was falling for her. Shaking his head at that thought he sighed, he’d already fallen and fallen hard. He could see forever when he looked at her, see having more kids, being wrapped around her in the darkness was a fantasy that was all too easy to picture for him. A fact that made staying impossible.  A glance behind him revealed the woman in question as she rocked her child on the porch. The tiny little boy was what held her here, without her son, Buck doubted if she’d have remained here as long as she had. He wondered what she’d say if he told her that he loved her, would she smile and say that was a good thing cause she loved him to, or would she accuse him of betraying a trust that had been given by his best friend? Would she welcome the thought of loving him with less guilt and fear than he himself faced at those thoughts? Despite the fact that her son was of Ike’s blood, he’d come to think of him as his own son. A child that he could love unconditionally, without having to put on a face or hide his emotions from. Smiling at the thought of the boy, he did have to admit that Isaac looked very much like his father. He was quiet, often not crying for hours and yet he seemed to watch everything with a deep interest and a sacred knowledge that had often times amazed Buck. Turning away from mother and child he faced west again and sighed, soon he’d leave if only to get his thoughts in order. He couldn’t stay when he was falling further in love with Ike’s girl each day, he couldn’t betray him like that. “You look lost in thought.” Walker’s voice had him glancing at the other man as he took a seat beside him on the fence. “Just trying to think where to go from here.” Buck replied, he’d often thought over the past weeks that Walker could see that he’d become emotionally attached to Anna and Isaac. “Nobody said you couldn’t love her.” Walker said softly, and seeing the other man flinch he smiled softly. Despite the intense dislike that these two shared at the beginning they’d fast became friends. Thinking back to when Isaac had been born, Walker smiled softly. He’d taken Emma into town that morning to see the seamstress about a job for over the winter months, leaving Buck with Anna feeling secure in the knowledge that although they might yell at each other, she was safer with him than any man he knew. They’d driven into the yard just after dusk to find the main house dark, and Anna’s shack lit only by one small lantern. Feeling slightly apprehensive Walker had walked down to the shack to hear Anna cursing Buck like crazy and Buck yelling right back at her to push or he was going to throw her in the pond. Minutes later Isaac’s first cries were a welcome sound to him as he turned to walk back to his comfortable bed his impressions right. “She’s Ike’s girl, always will be.” Buck replied tightlipped, voicing his fear without really admitting it. “Was.” Walker replied softly. “She was Ike’s girl. And yes she did love him, but ain’t no law that says she can’t love again.” “What do you want?” Buck glanced at the other man with a frown, his unease at the topic of conversation clear in both his body and his tone. “You to take her home.” “Anna said this is her home.” “The Rocking T is her home, she needs to see her Pa. She also needs to see where Ike’s buried.” “You mean drag her kicking and screaming all the way back to Nebraska Territory, and it this close to war?” “You’d die for her, so yes. I see nothing wrong in my request.” “Only it’s a fool’s errand. Anna won’t go.” “Yes she will.” Walker smiled. “Convince her it’s a good idea. I’m going home to my wife.” Watching him go Buck swore, he didn’t want to spend a month alone with Anna McSwain. He didn’t want to fall even further in love with a woman who still called out another man’s name in her sleep. And he didn’t want to care for her child, a child that was the only physical reminder of a man who’d loved fiercely and deeply. “What did he want?” Anna asked leaning on the fence next to Buck. Dressed in her skirts she rarely if ever climbed up the fence, and she wasn’t going to do it in front of the handsome man she shared a house with. “Nothing much. Thinks you should go see your folks.” “What were you so lost in thought over?” Anna asked instead of replying, she knew it as impossible. Going home only meant admitting defeat. “I’ve got to ride out for a few days. I’ve got to go home.” “For how long?” Anna asked glancing at him. Seeing the unease in his eyes she sighed, he looked as confused as she felt. She didn’t want to him to leave and yet, a part of her wanted to have the peace that his departure would bring. Staring at his hands, Buck glanced up at the fading light before turning to her. “I don’t know. Until I can come to terms with things.” Anna stared at him for a few minutes, too long for his comfort and he began to wonder if she was going to press for details. “I never thanked you.” “For what?” Buck asked thankful that she hadn’t pressed him. “Being Ike’s friend, being my friend. If you hadn’t bullied me along who knows where I’d have ended up.” “Probably the same place you’re at now, only a little more time would have been the key ingredient. You’ve got Isaac, you don’t need me.” Smiling sadly Anna shook her head. “I do need a friend, and that’s what you’ve been. Granted it started off rocky. I wasn’t keen on how you just moved right in, but I think it’s all worked out well.” “Thanks aren’t necessary. I should thank you. Because of you a piece of Ike will always be here, always be alive.” He spoke softly, not wanting to scare her and yet needing to make her understand what he himself didn’t. “When are you leaving?” Anna asked dodging the point he was trying to make. “First light.” “Alright.” Nodding Anna pushed away from the fence and turned back to the cabin. “Good luck Buck.” She reached out to touch him but let her hand fall without making contact, too many times she’d longed to touch him and something had stopped her. Now there was no point to touching him, he was leaving and she was alone again, something she had wanted to be at one time if only to prove herself, but now she knew she could survive on her own it didn’t ease the ache that she pushed aside at the thought of his leaving. Nodding Buck let her walk away, his secret unrevealed, his guilt still firmly in place. Sitting watching the sun finish setting, Buck shivered, he felt more alone than he’d ever felt in his life and no amount of platitudes were going to change that. They couldn’t, he was leaving the only woman he’d ever really loved, one who mirrored his own pain and yet had learned to live with it. Long after the sun sat, and darkness had fallen he sat on the top railing, uncaring, unaware of the lights in the cabin window until he gave up and headed for the barn to prepare for his journey back to Rock Creek and to the pony express.   Taking the grey he’d ridden in on, Buck rode out an hour before sunrise. Pausing on the road he glanced behind him, the cabin sat in darkness, Anna and Isaac still slept soundly in their room, only a small fire warmed the interior of the cabin, a glance up the hill revealed the main house sitting cold and dark. Shaking his head, Buck silently bid them goodbye and turned his horse southwest before kicking her into a gallop and heading for Rock Creek. Making camp that night, Buck stared at the stars in the sky and pulled his blankets up a little higher under his chin. With a sigh he tried to avoid thinking of the young woman who’d gotten past his defenses, who’d made him feel again. She was a spitfire, in fact she had a temper that rivaled anyone he knew but she was smart to. He’d gotten into the habit of watching her first thing in the morning with her hair down, her body relaxed as she sat in the rocker in the sun and nursed Isaac. For the first time in his life, he could understand why a man would want to watch his wife nurse their babe, why he’d even want children. And that had scared him, he’d sworn never to get too attached to any woman, after all every woman he’d cared about had abandoned him in some way so why would this one, who’s heart belonged to another man be any different? “Damn it. Why did you have to ask me to do this Ike? Why couldn’t you have asked me anything else? I’d have done it gladly, but even you shouldn’t have asked me to put my heart on the line again.” Swearing softly Buck shook his head furiously, “You didn’t. I’m so sorry Ike, I never wanted any of this to happen.” Turning over he stared into the flames for a few seconds then closed his eyes, a deep, almost crushing ache in his chest told him that he’d just began to suffer.     Pushing the mare, he avoided the main road instead sticking to back trails and goat paths that no one had used in years before he pulled up two weeks later in front of a familiar building and stared at the windmill, the barn, bunkhouse and farmhouse that he’d called home for the first months of the express. “Well girl, we’ve only got a thousand miles to go.” He patted the mare on the neck and urged her into a gallop, heading home despite the pull at his heart and his conscience to return to Anna and Isaac.   Glancing up sharply at the sound of hoof beats Lou frowned before turning to holler, “Rider coming!” Moving to watch the incoming rider the boys frowned as Rachel joined them, “There isn’t a run on schedule.” “It’s Buck.” Kid said squinting into the sun. “Looks like he’s coming back from wherever the hell he disappeared to.” “Good. I’m tired of doing his share of work.” Cody replied and headed for the bunkhouse to grab some lunch. “You guys coming?” “Yeah, in a minute.” Jimmy replied watching the half-blood pull up and swing down out of the saddle and start unsaddling. “Glad to see you found your way home.” “Wasn’t lost.” Buck replied curtly. “Boys, go eat.” Rachel warned softly seeing how tense Buck was she didn’t think that he wanted to be quizzed on where he’d been. “But Rachel..” Lou glanced at her with a slight frown. “Now. Buck ain’t going anywhere.” Rachel replied quickly, “Go on with you.” With a grateful glance at her Buck stripped the mare down, tossed the saddle over the fence and led the mare into the corral a moment before he slapped her on the rump and turned her loose to roll in the dirt. “That mare’s come a fair piece.” Rachel commented watching the mare shuffle off to lay down and roll happily, exhaustion in every line of her body, the same as her rider’s. “More miles than you want to know.” Buck replied quietly, thoughtfully. “And each a little harder than the one before.” “Good to see you Buck. Wash up then come in for lunch.” “Already ate.” Buck muttered and headed for the barn. “I’ll get started on patching that wall.” “Buck.” Rachel protested quickly. “That’s Cody’s chore.” She watched him as he kept walking he’d lost weight and there seemed to be something bothering him, some weight she couldn’t imagine holding him down. “You wait for him, you’re likely to see the whole barn come down around your ears.” Buck replied quickly and disappeared into the cool interior. Studying the wall he began to pull out the boards that would need to be replaced, tossing the ones that shortened would still be usable somewhere into a pile and the boards that were useless into a pile for wood he tried to stem the memories, and the uneasy feeling that he’d made a very big mistake. Hours later he stopped working, the pounding of nails echoing in his head and a heavy exhaustion clung to his body making him hopeful for a full night of sleep, one that would be dreamless and thus painless. Glancing over his shoulder he shook his head. “If you’re just going to stand there you could help.” He muttered. “And interrupt your fun?” Kid shrugged. “I don’t think so. Besides everyone’s more interested in what you’re doing out here slaving away than fixing that wall.” “What I’m doing?” Buck laughed shortly, humorlessly. “Looks like I’m fixing a wall.” “Looks to me like you’re trying to outrun something.” Kid said pushing away from the doorway. “Want to talk about it?” “Not particularly.” “Didn’t figure you would.” Kid replied stripping down to bare skin to grab a board and hold it in place for Buck to nail in. “If you do want to talk though..” “You’ll be the first person I come to.” Buck replied calmly although he knew that wouldn’t be anytime soon. He already felt bad enough as it was without dragging others into his misery. Working with Kid they had the hole in the barn patched in no time. “Looks good. Better than new.” Kid nodded approvingly. “Guess that’s done. It’s back to fixing fences tomorrow.” “Good.” Buck declared. “Nothing wrong with fixing fences, it’s mindless work.” Walking past a startled Kid he ignored the other man’s stare to head for a shower before he hit the sack, hoping against hope that there wouldn’t be any dreams tonight. That he wouldn’t dream of just how badly he’d wanted another man’s woman and especially of how much it hurt to want her.   Walking through the waist high wheat Buck glanced around, he wasn’t supposed to be here. He’d left Anna and Isaac back in Missouri - hadn’t he? Hearing a sound he glanced behind him and felt his body go on high alert. Walking toward him in that faded gingham that she’d worn most of the time was a familiar woman with long dark hair, blue eyes that sparkled with her laughter. “What are you looking at?” She whispered stopping next to him. “You.” Buck croaked his heart pounding at the open invitation in her eyes. “Ain’t much to look at that you ain’t already seen.” Her voice held an undercurrent of knowledge and tenderness he’d only heard once before. “There’s always more to see.” He whispered pulling her willingly into his arms and turning back to the wheat field. “Pretty soon it’s time for harvesting this years crop. Should be a good one.” “Of course.” Anna turned in his arms and smiled happily at him. “Come with me.” “Where to?” Buck asked as she led him back toward the house, seeing her smile he felt the punch right in his gut as she led him up the steps of a small, white clapboard house and through the doors. Following her down the hall Buck knew he was in deep trouble when she checked on Isaac who slept soundly in his room, his baby face relaxed in sleep, a happy smile on his little face. Hearing the click of the bedroom door Buck glanced around trying to remember why he shouldn’t be here but finding that the woman, warm and willing in his arms was too much a distraction from his thoughts he let her take the lead, removing his clothes with a finesse and skill acquired from habit. As the sunlight faded from the room, he lay with her on their bed and made love until all he could feel all he could see was Anna in his arms, under him as he moved over her, in her until they climaxed together and slid into a deep sleep. Waking later, he could tell it was close to dawn and yet something, something he woke him. Rising from the bed he walked to the door and opened it, a glance behind him revealed Anna sleeping in bed her long hair spilling over the white pillows. Stepping through the door he froze, instead of the hallway that he’d grown familiar with he stood on rocky ground, surrounded by wide open spaces and a dark chill in his blood. Glancing around he froze, this was a dark place, a place where souls were stolen. Seeing a man laying on the ground he moved slowly toward it and froze, the name dying on his lips before it had been given life. “No!” Moving closer he rolled over the familiar figure and stare down into the lifeless face of his best friend. “No. Please this has to be some bad dream..” He whispered tearfully. “It’s not.” The unfamiliar yet familiar voice had him glancing around as dread began to fill the holes left by the agony of his friends death. “I asked you to watch over her, to protect her and what do you do? You steal her away from me. You betray me!” The fury in the words seemed to swell up around him, clutching at his hair and flesh until all he felt was their assault on his body tearing him to shreds. “I didn’t.” Buck whispered. “Ike I swear I didn’t..” “You did.” Like some evil spirit rising from the ground the flames of his guilt rose up around him and started to close in, burning him, stealing his breath and taking what little peace he’d found and tearing it to shreds..Jerking awake Buck sat up and glanced around. The boys and Lou still slept on, lost in their own dreams of happy days. Slipping soundlessly from the bunk he’d reclaimed Buck stepped outside after grabbing his pants and pulling them on. Standing in the cold winter air of Nebraska, he shivered as the cold temperature froze the sweat soaking his body and watched the light snow that began to fall and shivered yet he couldn’t bring himself to seek solace in sleep again. Just as it had every night that he’d been gone the dream would haunt him until he wouldn’t be able to sleep until all he wanted was to run from it. Dragging a hand through his hair he glanced heavenward and sighed, “I’m so sorry Ike. I really am. I didn’t want to fall in love, especially not with her.” Not getting an answer, not really expecting one Buck headed for the barn maybe he could find something to do that wouldn’t wake everyone up.   Chapter Seven   Sitting in Walker’s kitchen Anna laughed at Isaac’s antics, the pain she’d felt waking to find Buck gone had briefly overshadowed the still haunting pain of Ike’s death but as the days wore on, the latter faded to be replaced by a hurt that came from not hearing from the man she now had to admit she missed, a man she’d grown used to having around her. “How long’s he been gone?” Emma asked softly seeing how Anna’s eyes reflected the dismay and curiosity that she’d exhibited from the day Buck had left. “Three months. He left the end of September.” “And it’s nearly Christmas.” Emma shook her head. “You could write to him.” “Why? He doesn’t want to have anything..” “I think he wants to have more to do with you than you realize.” Emma interrupted softly. “But I think maybe he’s feeling guilty about it. I mean he did promise to watch over you for his best friend, he didn’t promise to fall in love. Guilt is a burdensome emotion at times Anna, you should know that.” “Perhaps.” Rising Anna walked over to the window to gaze out at the snow covered ground. The temperature was below twenty but it was no colder than what she felt inside. “I never thought I could care about him Emma. I tried so hard not to, I didn’t want him to be a friend. I wanted indifference, calculated emotion that would let me keep my heart from breaking again.” “But?” “The longer he stayed, the more he was there.” Turning to face her friend she shrugged. “I got used to seeing him, hearing him breathe in the next room. I found myself enjoying his company and now that he’s gone, I must admit I do miss him.” “Then go see him. Tell him. You’ve clung to Ike’s ghost for so long, how do you think he’d feel if he knew that you were throwing away a chance at living again?” “He’d be madder than a wet hen.” Anna laughed softly. “How can I just abandon you two to things around here? Granted I could pay for my stay here, but you need the extra pair of hands that can help with the place..” “I need you to be happy.” Emma replied quietly. Turning from her, Anna stared out at the coldness of a winters day and shivered slightly. “You’re right. I should go home.” Glancing at her son she sighed. “I should face what my life’s become. I can’t keep running from things, Ike’s dead. Wishing isn’t going to bring him back, and my friendship with Buck is important to me.” “Than go home and face things. Face your Father and your brothers, then you’ll be free.” “Not quite.” Anna whispered and took a calming breath at the thought of facing her family again. “But it’s a step in the right direction. I’ll leave on the first stage going southwest.” “Good girl. Now then you can help me with this evening’s dinner. After all we’ve got a zillion guests coming for supper and I can use your help, especially with the dishes.” Emma laughed at Anna’s put upon look and rose from the table to head for the kitchen, her burgeoning belly evidence of her late pregnancy. Laughing softly at the other woman Anna turned for a quick glance back at the winter landscape and nodded. “You’re right. I need to go back.”   Laying in bed that night Anna stared at the ceiling and sighed, as usual she felt tired after a long days work but something kept her awake tonight, some unseen need that called at her soul refused to let her sleep. Rolling over she listened to the wind around the cabin and the even tone of her son’s sleeping. Feeling a draft despite there being no window open she glanced around and closed her eyes, only to open them when something touched her. Sitting up in bed she glanced around, “Now I’m losing my mind.” “No you’re not.” The laughing voice was familiar although she couldn’t of said where she heard it before. “I’m not?” “No Love, you’re not losing your mind.” Like a wisp of smoke the figure seemed to materialize right next to the bed into a very dear, very familiar man she’d never expected to see. “Oh my god.” Anna whispered moving backwards across the bed. “Easy Anna, I’m not here to hurt you.” “Why are you here?” Anna demanded quickly. “What am I saying? Now I’m talking to a ghost, only there aren’t such things as ghosts.” Laughing softly Ike watched her struggle for a moment before he settled on the bed next to her and stared at the wall for a split second. “It’s good that you’ve found love again..” He started. “Ike I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to, I never wanted to feel like this again.” “Don’t be. I knew Buck would protect you, and I think its wonderful that you’ve shown him he can care again as well. It saddens me though that you’re so far apart.” “Blame that fool. He’s the one that walked away.” Anna waved her hand. “Guilt drove him away. He feels like he betrayed me. Just as you do. Anna you haven’t forgotten me, anymore than I’ve forgotten you. I’m always going to be a part of your life, yours and Isaac’s, but you need to go on living. I’ll be here for you always, but don’t be afraid to love him. Don’t let fear keep you from finding happiness.” “I care about him Ike but I don’t know if I can do that.” “You already have.” Ike whispered and reached out to brush a hand across her face. “No matter what Anna, believe me when I say I love you and our son, and it lightens my heart to know that Buck does to.” “Even if he doesn’t want to, right?” “Right.” Sighing softly Ike glanced away then returned his gaze to her for a moment. “I have to go now Anna, my time’s up. Remember what I said okay?” “I’ll remember.” Anna whispered as the image before her faded out like the smoke from the chimney. Sitting there she stared at the spot on the bed where Ike’d sat and let the tears come, for once the pain they marked being washed away with their passage, leaving her feeling lighter than she had in months. Laying down she closed her eyes and quickly slid into a deep, dreamless sleep of the truly exhausted until only the faint snoring of her son echoed in her mind.   Dawn’s pale light watched over her and the small child as they were bundled into a buggy and driven into town to await the stagecoach that was heading for Capital City. “Remember Anna, you can do this.” Smiling Anna hugged her friends tightly then stepped back and glanced at the young black woman who was traveling with her and watching Isaac. “I know. This is what Ike wanted.” “Huh?” Walker glanced at Emma with a puzzled look when Anna climbed on the stage and headed southwest, her face lit by a smile as she waved until the stage had disappeared leaving only a small mark in the snow to show that it had passed. “I think she’ll make it.” Emma glanced at her husband. “Anna always was pretty strong.” “Living with her father, she’d have to be.” Walker replied seriously watching the horizon for a few more minutes. “Come on, it’s time to get home. Ain’t nobody else gonna feed the stock.” Emma said dragging her husband away from the main street toward their buggy. “Besides I’m getting cold and so is your son.” “Coming mother.” Walker declared following her to the buggy and starting on the drive home.   Rachel watched Buck moving around the station, despite the fact that nearly everyone had cleared out leaving only her, Louise, Noah, and on occasion Cody when he passed through on his way to the various battles the young man’s moods had not improved. In fact he’d gotten worse, he worked until he was so exhausted he was often asleep before his head hit his pillow, he’d lost more weight than he could afford to, but what was even more surprising was the fact that he was often up within hours to return to work. Rachel had seen him more than once staring back down the road he’d come in on as though there was something there that pulled at him, some need that drew him despite his attempts to corral those feelings. So it was that the day everyone pulled out for their usual round of chores, errands and such she managed to corral him in the barn. “Buck you got a minute?” Rachel asked stepping into the coolness of the barn her winter coat wrapped securely around her. “Sure Rachel, what is it?” “How are you?” “Good. Kinda busy at the moment.” Buck replied turning back to groom his mount, the grey he’d ridden back in on. “What can I do for you?” “Look I know this is hard, probably a lot harder than you want it to be, but I’ll listen if you want to talk.” “Nothing to talk about..” Buck replied quickly, too quickly then damned himself for the slip. He’d nearly come to terms with how his lapse in judgement had affected all of those involved and was thankful that for the first time in ages he could think of Anna without cringing, at least outwardly. “Buck,” Rachel sighed. “We’ve known each other too long for you to try that with me. You’ve worked yourself half to death these past weeks, you’re not sleeping, hardly eating, and you keep watching your trail. Talk to me. What happened while you were gone?” “I went to keep a promise and betrayed a friend.” With a shrug Buck glanced at the woman he cared about as a mother figure. “Ike wanted me to take something to his girl, Anna. I had to go to Missouri to do it. When I met her I was furious with her, with Ike, with myself. Hell I was furious with everyone, see what no one knew, was that she was pregnant when Ike was killed. We didn’t really know anything about her, but Ike never was one to talk about his feelings.” “What’s she like?” “Sort of a mix between Jimmy, Lou, and Cody. She’s smart, funny, has a great laugh when you can get her to laugh, yet she can get mean, stubborn, and be a complete smart-mouthed witch if needs be. Her and I fought more than once, and she’s good at it.” Smiling at the thought of the fights they’d had Buck shrugged. “And she loved him so much Rachel. Anna never said a bad word about anybody unless they had it coming, but boy get her talking about Ike and there wasn’t anything bad she’d say. She could tell me things I didn’t even know about him and I was his best friend, his confidant.” Staring past Rachel Buck sighed, “ When I got there all I was going to do was give her the money Ike wanted her to have, offer her my help around the place, you know help her get back on her feet.” “But?” “But the longer I stayed, the more attracted I was to her. Pretty soon I wasn’t staying because Ike had asked me to, I was staying just to be close to her. The little things started being big things to me, like the way she brushed her hair, the way she looked in the morning sunlight streaming in through the window.” Buck raked a hand through his hair. “The way she nursed Isaac, the way she never backed down from the work, she pulled her weight, maybe even more without a single word of complaint.” Turning to stare at Rachel he swore softly, “Do you know what it’s like to look at someone at the dinner table and have to hide your emotions? Every time I close my eyes, she’s all I see, all I can hear, all I can smell. My dreams are haunted by her, my mind keeps telling me to ignore my heart cause its telling me to go back to her. I lost Ike to a bullet, I don’t want to lose my friendship with Anna. She’s too important to let slip away. I came home because I knew if I’d have stayed sooner or later I would have done something that I know I shouldn’t do.” “Like fall in love?” Rachel asked softly, her tone soothing and without judgement. “She sounds like a reasonable young woman, did you tell her any of this?” “No! I can’t! I won’t ruin her life like that. Anna’s a beautiful woman with a lot going for her including a handsome little boy. She doesn’t need a half-breed hanging around.” “If she’s your friend she won’t care what you are.” “She doesn’t.” Buck replied. “She likes me for me, she never said a word about me sticking around, once she realized I wasn’t going away. We got along fine, but I couldn’t stay.” Smiling at him Rachel walked over to where he stood. “It’s hard, I know, but you should be honest with her, even if you don’t think she deserves it.” “Being honest with her means telling her I betrayed the one person she trusted above all else. I don’t think she’d be too happy with that little tidbit.” “You never know. Maybe she doesn’t see it the way you do.” Rachel sighed. “Could be she cares just as much as you do about your friendship and despite the distance between you might want to cherish it.” “Perhaps.” Buck shrugged. “I’ll think on it.” He mouthed, knowing he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t go back to Missouri, he wouldn’t think of Anna, and he would stop feeling so guilty for loving her. Someday, maybe if he was lucky, he’d be able to move on with his life. Maybe.     Anna stood on the front stoop of the opulent mansion she’d grown up in and raised her hand to knock, her arms wrapped securely around her growing son, and a stubborn tilt to her chin. Standing impatiently awaiting the answer to her summons she glanced around, not much had changed in the time she’d been gone. If anything the ranch looked the same as it had that day two years before when she’d stormed out and gone to work for the express. “Why Miss Anna! Please come in, you know you don’t have to knock. Your Father’s in the study if you’d like to see him.” “Thank you Maria. I’ve only got one bag, it’s in the back of the wagon.” “I’ll see to it.” Darting off she closed the door and left Anna with the sleeping child in her arms to walk down the corridor and knock on the massive wooden doors that marked her father’s private sanctuary. “Come.” The order was barked, as though he barely tolerated the delay in business. Opening the door, Anna stepped inside and closed it softly. “Still at it I see.” She commented noting the stacks of paperwork that cluttered the huge mahogany desk. Watching her father she felt a moment’s fear as he slowly looked up, his face going absolutely white then red. “Anna?” Rising the man stared at the young woman before him, a young child in her arms. Moving around the desk he paused when she stepped back from him and stared as she looked apprehensively at her son then at him.  “Who is this?” “This is Isaac.” Anna replied quickly. “My son.” A quick flexing of a muscle brought the baby more flush against her body, an unconscious protective move as she stared down the man in front of her. “I guessed that girl. Come in and let me look at you.” Waving her forward he leaned back against the desk, hardly daring to believe she’d come home. Casting a glance over her he noted her hair had grown longer, the dark tresses held back by a rawhide thong, the ends brushing against her waist as she moved. Her blue eyes held a maturity, a pride that he had never seen and he was sure that the child in her arm was the cause of it. “How old is the babe?” “Isaac’s seven months old.” Anna replied looking lovingly at her son, he was her pride and joy the reason she rose in the morning and kept living. “And growing with a ferocity that amazes me.” “So how long are you here for?” “I’m not sure Pa.” Anna glanced at him head on. “I met someone, he’s a good man.” “He gonna marry you?” Smiling sadly Anna shook her head, “I don’t know. I’ve only realized just how much I care about him. But he is only part of the reason I’m here, the other part is the past. We need to deal with it.” “Deal with what exactly?” “I’m tired Pa, tired of playing shadow games, hiding behind fake masks of pride for everyone. Momma may have tolerated it, but I won’t. I can’t. Isaac deserves more, and so do I. I need to be able to stand on my own and say I can do this, without looking over my shoulder to see if you’ve sent someone to tear it all down. I’m not a child Pa, nor am I one of the servants. You have to deal with me as an equal or not at all.” Nodding at her words, Allen walked back to his seat and sat down as the door opened and Anna’s oldest brother stepped inside. “I see. So as long as you think we’re working on an even keel things will go smoothly.” “Precisely.” Anna shrugged and shifted her son’s weight before sinking into a chair. “George.” “Anna.” “So where do we start?” Allen asked quickly as Anna greeted her brother. “How about now?” “Okay.” Allen leaned back in his chair and met George’s gaze. “Starting now is a good place to begin.” “I agree.” George said glancing from his sister to his father and noting the easy way that Anna sat with the baby in her arms, a slight rocking of her body keeping the babe asleep. Despite their past, maybe they could build a new relationship that would allow everyone their own space and keep Anna a little closer to home.       BOOK TWO Chapter Eight   Watching the approaching riders Buck sighed, in the four years he’d been back he’d seen the boys ride out to go to war then come home one by one until all that remained out on the road was Jimmy, Teaspoon, and Kid. Watching the trio approaching he hoped that it was one of them, if for no other reason than he’d missed his friends. Seeing the familiar palomino and paint horses he smiled. “Lou your husband’s here.” He hollered and stepped aside as Lou dived out the door, nearly running him over in the process to race to meet the man dismounting from the paint mare. Seeing him swing her into his arms, Buck swallowed, despite the time and distance he still felt a desperate pull for Missouri, one he kept fighting. He couldn’t go back to her, and he should know that by now. “Looks like they made it.” Rachel said as Cody joined them. “Looks like it.” Cody agreed and glanced up the street. A wagon was coming along, the heavy team looking tired with the large load it pulled but his attention was caught by the dark haired woman who was standing on the sidewalk, a tow-headed little boy by her side. Sucking in a breathe he preened as she stepped off the boards and headed directly toward them. “Rachel you know who that is?” He asked turning everyone’s attention to the oncoming woman and her child. “Nope. Never seen her before.” Rachel glanced at Buck when he tensed and watched the color drain from his face. “Buck you okay?” Nodding Buck struggled to breath, what the hell was Anna doing in Rock Creek? He wondered. She was supposed to be in Missouri. “Just fine.” He croaked. “You don’t look it.” With a strangled moan Buck stepped past Rachel and into the bunkhouse, closing the door behind him and leaning against it for good measure. Just when he’d thought he’d made some headway, she showed up and ruined it, he couldn’t face her. He couldn’t reveal his weakness, especially when he knew it would destroy all of them. “What’s with Buck?” Cody whispered to Rachel. “You’d think he’d never seen a pretty girl before.” “I don’t know Cody.” Rachel glanced at the woman as she neared them. “Morning.” “Morning.” With a quick, easy smile the woman glanced at the young blonde standing behind the woman. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I could have sworn I saw an old friend of mine over here and was wondering if I could leave a letter for him?” “Certainly. Is the letter addressed?” Rachel said automatically taking the letter the girl held out. “Can I tell him where you’ll be if he wants to catch up with you?” “Yes it is. I bought the farm ten miles west of here. We’ll be there if he needs to see us.” Anna smiled softly, nodded briefly at the gathering and turned to lead Isaac away. She’d seen Buck’s retreat and while she couldn’t say she understood his reasoning, she did have to admit that sometimes hiding was better than facing things. Leading Isaac back to the buckboard her father had left her, she directed the team toward the small farm she’d bought nearby. Smiling down at her small child, Anna mentally shrugged aside the worry about Buck and focused on what she’d need for starting this years crop. She had plenty of wheat seed, Allen Tayler made sure of that, a good team for plowing, and the will to make it work. Only problem was she knew more about horses, cattle, and giving orders than she did about farming. “Momma?” The small voice drew her from her thoughts. “Yes baby?” “When’s Grandpa coming?” “Soon Baby, soon.” Anna laughed softly and clicked to the team. Thankful for the blessings she had. Watching the wind in the tall grass she sighed, she did miss Ike. Probably always would, he had been such a big part of her life till he died, but now she felt more at ease with the pain, and the sense of loss.  With any luck Buck would realize soon that she needed him as more than a friend, a realization that had startled her that night she’d realized he wasn’t there. Thinking back on it, she wondered why she’d been surprised when she’d rolled over in her bed at the ranch and reached across the white expanse of sheet to find no one there. Buck had never slept in her bed, he’d always bunked down in the living room, and was usually up before she was, but it had still hurt when she’d reached for him only to find him beyond her reach. Toughening her resolve she promised herself she was going to make Buck face this thing between them if she had to follow him around on horseback.   “Nice lady.” Cody said as Kid, Jimmy, and Teaspoon dropped their bedrolls next to the door of the bunkhouse. He ignored Kid as he swept Lou into a fierce hug, despite the fact that they’d been married years, they hadn’t gotten to spend much time together before he’d gone off to fight for Virginia. “No, she’s trouble with a capital T.” Buck muttered and took refuge in his coffee when Cody opened his mouth. “You’ve met her before?” “Yes.” Buck replied hoping against hope that the matter would be dropped, but realizing that it probably wouldn’t be. “Where?” Jimmy asked. “She seems a little more wealthy than you and I.” “In Missouri.” Buck replied quickly. “She was on a farm I worked on for a while.” “Interesting.” Cody smiled suddenly. “That wouldn’t have been just after Ike was killed would it?” “Cody mind your own business.” Buck snapped angrily, his dark eyes flashing furiously. “Before someone shoots you.” “Fine. You don’t have to be that way. She’s got a cute kid.” “Yeah he is.” Jimmy replied. “Kinda familiar though.” “Probably looks like his Ma is why.” Cody replied taking the offered cup of coffee from Rachel and glancing at the door that had just closed quietly. “Looks like Kid and Lou are gone for a while.” “He looks like his father. Too bad it wasn’t you.” Buck muttered under his breath. “I should get going Rachel. I’ve got that load of lumber to grab for you.” “Sure. Since you know that girl, could you drop this letter off. I don’t recall any strangers here but you might know the person.” Rachel handed Buck the letter who jerked it from her fingers, slapped his hat on and stomped out the door. A moment later Teaspoon frowned at Rachel. “Doesn’t Buck need the wagon to haul lumber?” “Yes.” Rachel glanced at him and shrugged. “Why didn’t he take it?” “Nope. Just took Ike’s grey and headed north.” “Leave him be then.” Rachel said a smile tugging at her lips. “You boys must be hungry.”   Pulling up under a stand of trees Buck dismounted and sat down under the branches. Pulling out the letter from his pocket he stared at the handwriting and swore. “What does she have to say now?” He wondered allowed and tore open the envelope. Dear Buck, this letter was enclosed in that can you gave me. I’ve never read it, and yet I have a feeling I know what’s in it. I’ll be home if you want to come talk to me about it. Your friend, Anna. Unfolding the other sheet of paper he stared down at the familiar writing with a sick feeling in his gut. Tracing the familiar curves of the letters he took a deep breathe before starting to read. Dear Buck; Comes as quite a shock doesn’t it? Having to be alone. Only thing is you’re not alone are you. You’ve got the boys, Rachel, Teaspoon, even Lou to some extent. Now though you’ve got someone else, a lady in the truest sense of the word, only thing is she doesn’t worry about how much money you’ve got, or what you are. Anna never did care about things like the color of a person’s skin or where they came from, with her it was what was in your heart, and you’ve got a good heart. I can imagine what you’re thinking. You’re probably cursing me out for sending you to her but I know both of you and I think you’d be good for each other. Anna needs a friend, someone to lean on and you need someone who isn’t going to shrink back from your touch because you’re Indian. I think the two of you will do well. Don’t beat yourself too badly about caring for her, even loving her. I don’t. The only thing I ask of you Buck is that you love her with your whole heart, don’t judge her for her past as so many would do. Anna might look like a tough lady, but underneath she’s got a soft heart, that wounds easily and heals slowly. Your friend, Ike McSwain. P.S. Buck, no matter what just remember we’re brothers, and I love you. Be happy. Staring at the words Buck glanced up and watched a doe with her fawn a few yards off. Perhaps Ike hadn’t realized what the full extent of how much he asked of Buck, or perhaps he had. Perhaps, Ike being Ike had realized that Buck needed a little help when it came to being happy. Maybe he’d given him a chance at living again? Bending one knee he rested his wrist on it and sighed. He’d been running from what he felt for Anna for so long could he make things work if he went to her? Could he forgive himself for letting Ike down when he needed him most? Shaking his head Buck glanced back at the letters and sighed. He didn’t know. Rising he folded them and slipped them back into his pocket before mounting up and turning east. With a tightening of his legs he urged the mare into a run and blanked his mind to the turmoil within him. He couldn’t deal with everything right now.   With dusk rapidly closing in, he pulled up and made camp regretting that he hadn’t packed a few things. After all being prepared to outrun one’s emotional state was a good thing. Staring into the flames he took out Ike’s letter and read it again then fingering the thin piece of paper with the last few lines his friend wrote he stared back at the flames, torn between burning it and saving it as a final link to his friend. Finally, hesitantly he tucked it back into his pocket and leaned back against his saddle. With Anna in Rock Creek and looking like she planned on staying he’d go back to Missouri, maybe Walker would give him a job.   Studying Rachel Cody sighed, “He’s been gone a week Rachel. Where did he go to get that lumber?” “Lumber arrived two days ago. Frank drove it over himself.” Kid said without glancing up from where he sat reading while Lou fussed over him. “I know cause I had to unload it.” “Buck’s just as bad as he was after Ike died, if not worse.” Noah snapped. “How long you figure he’ll be gone this time?” “Oh probably a few weeks.” Rachel smiled and leaned back in her rocking chair a pile of mending in her lap. “You know why?” “Yep.” Rachel glanced up at Jimmy stepped onto the porch. “Hey Jimmy, how’d it go in town today?” “Well Barnett’s an even bigger fool than I thought originally. Teaspoon and I have to go over to the county seat in a few days to straighten out a prisoner mixup.” “Who’d Barnett send that he shouldn’t have?” Lou laughed softly. “It isn’t who he sent, or didn’t send for that matter. He didn’t wire the army that he had a prisoner of theirs, and the army wasn’t too impressed.” Jimmy explained settling next to Cody on the porch. “Lou you keep fussing over him he’s never gonna get anything done.” “Oh hush up.” Lou glanced at Jimmy with a mock frown, her brown eyes sparkled happily making her expression more humorous than anything. “He’s my husband and I’ll fuss if I want to.” “Leave her be Jimmy.” Kid glanced at his friend with a half grin. “Sooner she figures out that I’m fine the sooner I’ll get something done.” “Quit your complaining, we all know you’re enjoying it.” Noah laughed softly at Kid’s words. “Now if we could only get that knot head Buck to settle into one place for a few days.” “Personally, I’m glad he’s gone. Means I don’t have to put up with him getting me out of bed before sunrise to work.” Rachel laughed. “Course working with him is like working with stone, that man hasn’t let up in over four years.” “You’d think he’d move on after all this time.” Lou started resting her hands on Kid’s shoulders. “I mean Ike’s been dead for nearly five years.” “Oh it ain’t Ike’s death that’s wearing on him now.” Rachel replied glancing up at the sound of hoof beats. “He had a run in with someone in Missouri, and it’s been bothering him.” “Why don’t he ask for help then?” Kid asked. “If he’s waiting for trouble, he should know we’d back him up.” Laughing softly Rachel shook her head. Staring at the mending in her lap, she wondered just how much she should say that would help the boys be a little more understanding. “This kind of trouble you can’t help him with.” “Why?” Lou repeated. “Well you or Kid might, but the rest of you forget it.” Setting the rocker in motion Rachel shrugged. “He met a girl.” “Nice one?” “Ike seemed to think so.” Rachel replied. “At least he thought enough of her to ask Buck to watch out for her.” “Buck would’ve done that. What she shoot him down or something?” Cody asked with a slight frown. “No. I’m not sure of all the details myself, but I think he’s got a hangup about being her friend cause she was Ike’s girl or something.” Rachel explained quickly with a half-hearted shrug. “Hangup? Ha, try impossible stubborn streak that runs a mile wide.” Anna sighed. “I suppose he isn’t here?” “Nope. Ain’t been for a week at least.” Rachel replied hoping her surprise at seeing the other woman didn’t show. “Where’s that little boy you were with?” “Isaac?” Anna smiled thankful that they’d asked a question she could answer. “He’s with his grandfather. Pa and he get along a lot better than Pa and I ever did.” “Your husband must be pretty proud of him.” Jimmy said softly, “He seems to be a very well mannered little boy.” Anna frowned slightly and sighed, “You have no idea who I am do you?” “Nope.” Jimmy replied shifting uneasily at her words. He glanced at the others when the woman laughed softly and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Should we?” “Yeah.” Anna replied. “Actually you should.” Turning Anna whistled softly to her mount who trotted up and swung into the saddle. Turning the horse around she loped up the street to the telegraph office. “Hi Miss Anna, how are you this fine day?” The young man who worked in the office greeted her readily. “Just fine Timothy.” Anna dug out some change. “I’ve got to send a wire, think you can do it for me?” “Sure. What would you like to say?” “It’s to Calverton Missouri, it’s a small town but I know they’ve got a wire there since I’ve gotten two wires from Walker already.” Anna explained. “Address it to Walker Morrison and it should read very simply this.” Giving instructions she smiled at the shocked look on the man’s face before turning and walking back out to her horse.   Chapter Nine   Pulling up next to the main house Buck swung down and headed up the steps to knock at the door. When it opened he smiled at Emma, “Hi Emma. You guys got room for a weary traveler?” “Hi Buck. Come on in, Walker’s in town but he should be back shortly.”Emma stepped back from the open door to allow him into the house. “Where’s Anna?” “Rock Creek.” Buck replied shortly. “And you left to come here?” “Yeah. I rode over to Tayler Point, got on the train and came over. Seemed safer than facing her.” Laughing Emma sat down and offered him a chair. “You know she’s in love with you.” “No she’s not.” Buck paled at Anna’s words and stared at the scared tabletop. “She’s still recovering from losing Ike.” “Yeah, but I’ve never seen her take on her father for anyone like she did so she could be free of the past.” Emma sighed softly. “She loves you, and unless I miss my guess, you are in love with her.” “No I’m not. Anna’s Ike’s..” “Was Ike’s girl.” Emma leaned back in her chair. “You know that as well as I do.” “I don’t go around betraying friends. Ike wouldn’t steal my girl..” “Ike’s dead.” Emma inserted softly. “You should know that better than anyone.” “She still dreams about him.” Buck muttered. “I know, she wakes up calling out for him.” “Funny last time I got a letter from her she didn’t say anything of the sort. Complained about waking up reaching for you.” “Probably to wring my neck.” Buck smiled at the other woman. “Either way I’m sure she’ll be happy to have me out from underfoot.” “Hey Emma who’s here?” Walker’s voice had both of them glancing up at him. “Hey Buck. I got a wire for you.” He said after a moment’s pause. “From who? No one knows where I am.” Buck frowned when Walker handed the paper to him. “Don’t know. It was addressed in care of me but it had your name at the top, other than that I couldn’t tell you.” Walker replied pouring a cup of coffee. Opening it Buck glanced at the few simple words that were there and laughed. “Thanks for the coffee Emma but I’ve got to get going.” “You just got here!” Emma exclaimed at the sudden turn of his attitude. “Look whatever is so important can wait until morning can’t it? Leave at first light.” “Perhaps you’re right.” Buck nodded and rose. “I’d best see to my horse.” Heading outside, he chuckled even as he walked toward the animal. Emma frowned after him as the sounds of his laughter caught her attention. “What was that all about.” “Don’t know.” Walker said and picked up the wire that Buck had tossed down. Unfolding it he read it aloud. “Cross. Battle lines have been drawn and I’m holding all the cards. Stop. You want to win, come out and play. Stop. Anna. Stop.” “I’d say she got his attention.” “I hope it works. Those two need to really set down and talk about what they want.” Glancing at his wife Walker smiled. “Maybe there will be a wedding soon that we can go to.” “If Anna has her way there will be.” Emma laughed softly. “You’d best get William, he’ll be waking soon.” “Yes dear.” Sitting at the table Buck watched Emma move around the room, her mind seemed to be on what she was doing and yet every once in a while he caught her looking at Walker the way he’d looked at Anna. Could they make it work? Or was he just setting himself up for disappointment in the end. Anna had never really been on her own, her father had watched over her for most of her life, when he wasn’t it had been Ike or himself. Would she know how to deal with someone looking down on her because of his Indian blood. “Would you quit worrying?” Walker said suddenly. “Anna, you’ll find is a woman that few mess with. And those that do, never go back for a repeat performance.” “She is stubborn.” “And temperamental, self-important, arrogant..” “Soft hearted, open minded, beautiful.” Buck interrupted softly. “I don’t know about this. It’s more like something out of a dream and sooner or later I’m gonna wake up and find that I’m on the outside looking in again.” “Funny Anna said the same thing to me once. The day she left here, she asked me if it was possible to love two men at the same time. I told her of course, and she said the same thing you just said to me.” “Anna faces life, she doesn’t mess with dreams and such.” Buck shook his head slowly, “More like she does and I’m the one who doesn’t.” “Now’s as good a time to start as any.” Emma spoke softly. “Yeah.” Pushing his empty plate away Buck watched her for a moment then smiled. “I should be mad at Ike but I’m not. I know what he did, and I know I fell into that little trap he set but for some reason I don’t feel mad. I don’t feel guilty either.” “Good.” Walker declared. “Now then get some rest, you’ve got a long ride tomorrow.” “Longer perhaps than I want to face.” Buck rose smoothly and headed for the guest room Emma had prepared. “Good night Emma, Walker. Thanks.” “No problem.”     Laying in bed Buck felt a little apprehensive about closing his eyes, he didn’t expect the nightmare he slept with most nights to be gone. Allowing himself to relax enough to fall asleep, he rolled over and curled into a familiar position, one he’d adopted lately in protection against the nightmare. Waking slowly, he blinked at the tendrils of sunlight peaking through the curtains and sighed. The first night in years that he’d slept soundly, peacefully till dawn and he’d slept in. Rising he dressed quickly and headed for the barn, bypassing the kitchen to saddle up. “Not going to have a coffee first?” Emma’s soft voice drew his attention away from his mount. “Nope. I’ve got a train to catch.” Buck smiled at her. “And some bridges to rebuild.” “Good luck. Write us and let us know how things have gone. And don’t let Anna push you around, she might be small but she’s stubborn.” “Yes ma’am.” Swinging into the saddle Buck trotted past Emma with only a brief smile and salute before urging his mount into a gallop and heading for town, and the train. “Well that went well don’t you think?” Walker asked as Emma walked into the house. “Very well indeed.” Emma smiled. “Never seen anyone so anxious to get away from himself before though.” “You never saw me the week before we were married. I was a mess.”Walker declared and hurried to the nursery. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” Emma whispered as her husband walked away to retrieve their son. “He doesn’t know how much of a mess I was.”   Anna sat on the front stoop and watched the two riders coming toward her. Recognizing Harold Thompson she tensed and wished that she had a gun. The other man had suddenly found a reason to come calling every day that she’d been at the ranch after he’d learned of her return. She knew he’d had high hopes that one day her father would grant them the right to be married but for her part, she’d hoped that day never came. “I’d rather marry a rattlesnake.” She told the dog that had shown up a week before and never left. When the dog barked softly she smiled down at him before hardening her expression and turning her attention back to the two men who were dismounting. “Morning Anna.” Harold’s voice sent chills up her spine as he approached the steps. “What do you want Mister Thompson?” Anna asked quickly, hoping he’d just go away. “I’ve come to talk to you about your son.” Harold smiled at her, hoping she would have the good sense not to go against him. Despite not talking to her father, he saw no reason why the old man wouldn’t give them his blessing to wed, especially when she had a son that he would claim. “I hardly think my son is any of your concern sir.” “He needs a man’s influence. That boy’s going to grow up to be a hell of a farmer if you keep this up. You know you don’t belong here.” Harold said moving up the porch steps to pause a few inches away from her. “And you’re trespassing sir. I don’t recall inviting you onto my porch.” Anna replied crossing her arms over her chest and let the anger simmer. “In fact I really don’t think you should concern yourself with what happens to Isaac or myself.” “Why is that?” “Because Hell hasn’t froze over yet Mister Thompson.” Anna replied smoothly, “And I haven’t lost my mind. Isaac has all the male influence he can handle, and I sure as hell don’t need a man around just for the sake of his pride.” “You’re being unreasonable.” Harold huffed. “No sir, I’m being realistic. If I marry it will be for one reason and one reason only. I don’t intend to marry someone I don’t love, and who doesn’t love me.” “Love is a fairytale notion..” “Really? Funny from where I’m standing I’d have to say you’re full of it sir. I’ve been in love for most of my adult life, and you know something the man I’m in love with is ten times the man you are.” “That freak you were so familiar with?” Harold barked. “The one who couldn’t talk? He was a dummy with nothing going for him but the fact that he was a hard worker. I’ve got horses that work just as hard as he did but don’t mean I’d want them around permanently.” “Ike was no dummy.” Anna said slowly, softly. Her tone deadly, a thread going through it the other man didn’t pick up on. “I’m going to see your father tonight. I’m quite sure he’ll understand my concerns, and I’m even surer that he’ll give his blessing so if I were you I’d be getting ready for a wedding.” “I don’t think so.” Anna replied quickly, coldly. “You go see him. If he gives his blessings it’ll be because you’ve lied to him, and when he finds out he’ll hang you. Course that mean’s you’ll have to survive me first, and I guarantee you won’t.” Harold’s face turned red with fury and he moved quickly, pinning Anna to the wall with one beefy hand wrapped around her neck. “Don’t get smart with me, you think I don’t know what you did? Your son is as much a bastard as his father was. I won’t take no for an answer..” “I’m afraid you’ll have to.” Anna replied her words slurred from the pressure on her throat. “Because I’m already married to another man who’s a lot better than you’ll ever be.” She gasped in a breath of air when he let her go then screamed when he hit her soundly knocking her down. “Bull.” Harold snapped and glanced at the woman slowly climbing to her feet. “I’ll be by to pick you up day after tomorrow to drive into town and get married, you’d best be ready.” “Go to hell.” Anna said and flinched when he hit her again, knocking her back to her knees. Rising to her feet she leaned heavily on the wall for a few seconds before smiling as she saw several riders coming up behind them. Turning at the approaching horses Harold watched the man he feared more than anyone and smiled, “Keep your mouth shut or else.” He hissed to Anna who moved away from him quickly. “Harold, Martin.” Allen said dismounting and tying his mount up. A quick glance at Anna’s face had him swearing. “Anna what happened to you?” “I don’t know Allen just got here myself.” Harold spoke quickly and glared at Anna when she stared at him coldly. “Oh for crying out loud.” Anna snapped and glanced between her father and the man on her stoop. “Harold hit me.” “Why?” Allen’s tone was deadly. “Because I told him I wouldn’t marry him if my life depended on it.” Anna replied quickly, stepping onto the ground as Harold shifted toward her. “I’m not some commodity that can be bought or sold, I’ll choose the man I marry when I get ready to.” “Of course you will.” Allen stared at her battered face for a split second. “Where’s Isaac?” “Inside, asleep.” “George, go get the boy.” He ordered and stared at a nervous Harold Thompson. When George returned with the sleepy boy, he glanced at the little guy and smiled warmly. “Where do you want me to take him?” George asked softly. “Take him and Anna into town to see the Doctor. Get him to check out those cuts.” Allen declared and smiled at Anna softly. “Go on now girl. I’ll send for you after a bit.” “Pa don’t do something you’ll regret.”Anna whispered. “He is your friend.” “Friend’s don’t beat on my children when they turn them down.” Allen replied softly and reached out a hand to touch the split lip that colored Anna’s face. “Go on with you.” With a final nod Anna glanced at Harold and swung up behind one of the hands her father had brought with him. Relaxing she quickly learned the feel of the horse under her and held on lightly to the man in front of her until they pulled up at the doctor’s office. “George why don’t you and Isaac go down and see Missus Dunne, she’d be happy to serve you breakfast I’m sure.” Anna asked softly ducking her head as much as possible to hide the bruises from her son. “‘Kay Momma.” The little boy drug his uncle off without a second glance at his mother. Watching them for a moment Anna shrugged and entered the doctor’s office where the Marshall, Teaspoon Hunter sat talking to the doctor. “Morning sir.” Anna said. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” “Not at all Miss McSwain. What can I do for you today?” The doctor asked rising to his feet and turning to face the young woman. He glanced at Teaspoon who’d frowned as he addressed the young woman but held his tongue while the doctor when to work. “Pa wanted you to see to these small cuts.”Anna said quietly. “There was a bit of a tussle out at my place and I’m afraid I got the worst of it.” “Certainly.” Doc Patterson, an aging balding little man with a perpetual grin on his face ushered the young woman into a chair and pushed her hair out of the way. Hiding his grimace at the mottled blue and purple marks coming out on her face, he quickly went to work putting antiseptic on them until he had all the cuts treated. “Is the man that did that still out at your place?” Teaspoon asked noting the way the woman sat quietly for the treatment. His attention had been caught when the doctor had revealed the massive bruises that covered the woman’s face. “No.” Anna sighed. “Pa came by and took him. Unless you want to tangle with Allen Tayler, I suggest you let him drag his butt into town.” “There you are Miss McSwain.” With a fatherly smile the doctor offered her a hand up. “How much do I owe you?”Anna asked softly, she wanted to cry although she didn’t think she’d get a chance to do that until much later. “Nothing. You bring that boy of yours by for a treat one of these days then we’ll call it square.” Smiling Anna nodded. “I’ll be sure to do that.” Bidding him a quick goodbye she stepped toward the door and out onto the sidewalk, followed quickly by the Marshall. “Miss McSwain?” “Yes sir?” Turning to him she ignored the two ranch hands who stood awaiting an order. “Would you accompany me to my office? I’d like to speak to you.” “Certainly.” Anna felt an uneasy sensation take over her stomach, tying it into knots and making her slightly ill. Following him she nodded to the riders who merely shifted stance and turned back to their conversation. Stepping into the jail Anna glanced around, one of the boys from the station sat behind the desk a badge pinned to his chest. “Morning Teaspoon.” Jimmy barely glanced at the other man before turning his attention back to the letter in his hand. “This mean I can go get some sleep?” “Nope.” Teaspoon snapped pushing Jimmy’s feet off the desk and taking a seat. “Have a seat ma’am.” “I’d rather stand.” Anna said quietly. “What can I do for you?” “Did your husband hit you?” Anna stared at him for a moment then shook her head. “Why is everyone trying to marry me off? I am not, repeat NOT married.” “Alright. Then who hit you?” Teaspoon said offering a cup of coffee and having it pushed aside didn’t really faze him. There was something going on here and he wanted to know what it was. “And don’t say you’ve walked into something.” “Harold Thompson.” Anna replied rubbing her forehead. “He was an old friend of my father’s.” “Was?” “Allen Tayler doesn’t tolerate anyone abusing his kids.” Anna shrugged, pushing aside the thought that he hadn’t minded when he did it with the only too familiar feeling of anxiety. “I thought you said your name was McSwain?” Teaspoon pounced on the sudden change in names. “Why is your father’s name different if you’re not married? Are you a widow?” “No I’m not a widow. Have never in fact been married.” Anna replied quietly, tiredly. Looked like explanation time. “I changed my name when I went to Missouri. A woman alone, with a child on the way is pretty much an easy target. As long as folks think I’m married they leave me alone.” “Where’d you get the name McSwain?” Jimmy demanded his interest in the letter from some nameless city forgotten. Something told him he was about to learn why he should know this woman and it would prove more interesting than the letter he was reading. “From Ike.” Anna replied sinking into a chair. “I took it after he was killed.” “Why?” Teaspoon asked settling on the edge of the desk, one booted foot dangling. “I already told you, it’s safer..” “No why Ike’s last name? Why not Jones or Smith or something?” Teaspoon waved away her confusion. “Because Isaac needed his father’s name.” The familiar voice had everyone turning to see the tall man standing in the open doorway, his hat perched on his head. “BUCK!” Rising Anna hurried toward him, unmindful of the bruises. “Did you come by my place?” “No. What happened to your face?” Buck asked tilting her face to the light. “I had a run in with Thompson.” “Where is he?” “Pappa’s got him.” Anna replied. “And Pa’s really mad to. I should go check it out.” “You see Doc Patterson yet?” Buck frowned at the ugly bruises. “Just came from there.” Anna replied with a slight frown. “He put some cream on the cuts and let me go. Which way did you come?” “Would you quit worrying about your Pa? He’s a big man, he can handle Thompson without your interference.” “Pa’s got two men with him.” “The two men standing in front of Doc’s office?” “No. George and them two brought Isaac and I into town.” “Isaac was hurt?” Buck felt a moment’s apprehension until Anna shook her head and opened her mouth to deny it when Teaspoon interrupted their conversation. “Uh excuse me.” Teaspoon waved slightly. “Back to the conversation at hand. You know her Buck?” “Yeah this is Anna McSwain.” Buck replied. “She used to run Tayler Station.” “Someone want to tell me why in hell you think her son is Ike’s?” “Because he is.” Anna shrugged. “I knew Ike for ages, when he was killed I’d only just found out that I was pregnant.” “Okay the pregnant part I get, I can even understand saying you’re married to protect yourself. But saying Ike was the father is a bit much don’t you think?” Jimmy said immovable as he stared at the woman. “You didn’t know?” Anna glanced at Buck. “Ike only mentioned you in passing. Knowing our habit of twisting and teasing he probably figured it was best.” Buck explained quietly realizing that she didn’t know anything about his journal entries about her. Anna stared at him blankly, her expression one of mixed horror, embarrassment, and pain. “I imagine he would.” She whispered softly and glanced down. “If you’ll excuse me, you can fill them in on anything they want to know.” “Where are you going?” “To get Isaac, then go home.” “Anna, Isaac’s probably having fun with Rachel, why don’t I take you home then you can rest.” Buck volunteered. “I’ll bring Isaac out later.” “I’m not going to stay at the farm.” Anna replied quietly. “I’m going to the ranch.” Stepping past him she grabbed his horse and swung into the saddle. A swift kick had the mare sprinting out of town, headed toward the farm. “You knew about this?” Teaspoon asked Buck who stood staring after the young woman with a frown marring his features. “Yes.” Buck glanced back at him. “Ike asked me to watch out for her after he was killed.” “That’s why you went to Missouri?” Jimmy asked slowly as realization dawned. “That’s how Ike knew where we were that day. He’d been over that route so many times that he knew it blindfolded.” “He probably knew it better than the company. He knew every shortcut, ever turn, like the back of his hand. Otherwise he’d never have managed to keep to schedule.” Buck explained quickly. “And unless I’m mistaken, Anna knew those trails to. She’d have had to. Tayler Station sits right smack dab in the middle of a crossroad. For her to have a mount ready for him, she’d have had to have been over those trails at least once.” “Still don’t answer my question.” Teaspoon pointed out. “How can you accept the fact that Ike’s the father.” “First I know Anna, she’s not exactly given to a swinging door. If there’s someone in her bed then he’s there for the long haul.” Buck replied quickly, anger flashing in his eyes. “And second. Anna might be rebellious, head-strong, and stubborn but she’s never done anything without thinking about it. She knew the risks of becoming involved with Ike and didn’t care. Anna’s another Lou. You gonna doubt her, you might as well call everyone a liar.” “Okay so maybe she is telling the truth. That means that she’s kept that boy to herself for years without telling anyone.” Teaspoon frowned at the thought. “I’d have loved to see him when he was a baby.” “He’s no different.” Buck shrugged with a half-hearted grin. “He’s just as quiet, self-aware now as he was the night he was born.” “How would you know?” Jimmy snapped. “Because I delivered him.” Buck replied absently before turning to face Teaspoon. “Can I borrow your horse Teaspoon, mine just got stolen.” “Sure. I can always get another from the stable.” With an appreciative smile Buck headed outside and swung agilely into the saddle. Turning his mount west he nudged him into a gallop and headed to catch up with Anna. Pushing the gelding he raced into the yard and pulled up.  A glance around revealed three dark bay horses, a dun, a roan and his grey. “Some ranch.” Buck muttered and headed for the house, ignoring for the most part the noises coming from the barn. Stepping inside he glanced around, the house was small, only three rooms with a loft but it was clean, and oddly felt like home. “Anna?” He called. “What?” Anna’s quiet voice drew him to the back of the cabin where a bed sat. Anna lay stretched out on it, her back to him, tension coiled within her until she lay stiffly. “He loved you.” “Sure he did.” Anna whispered. “So much that he didn’t bother to tell his friends and family that he had a girl.” “When did Ike ever tell anyone anything that would give them something to tease him about?” Buck suddenly wished his friend had been a little more open to everyone. “You were right all along.” Anna said without looking at him. “I never thought I’d say this but what man in his right mind would want to be with me? Even Ike didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I was merely an afterthought.” “No.”  Buck set down next to her on the bed. “You were never an after thought to him. Ike loved you. He loved you enough that he didn’t want to risk losing you because the company found out you were a woman. He loved you enough that it meant more to him that you be happy than his own happiness and you know that. Ike wanted you in his life.” “Ha you mean his bed.” Anna replied woodenly, any trace of emotion gone from her voice. “I never once thought that he would do something like this. I thought he really did care..” Sighing Buck shook his head, “He did Anna.” “You couldn’t prove it by me.” Anna replied cynically. “He wanted you to have what he could never give you. If he hadn’t do you think he would have asked his best friend to watch over you? Do you think he would have given everything he had? I know he wouldn’t have. He didn’t know you were pregnant, and yet he still wanted someone to be there for you. I’d say that shows he loved you.” “If he did then why was he so embarrassed about me?” Anna faced Buck. “Huh? Why didn’t he bother to say to anyone that I even existed? Everyone in my life knew about him, why didn’t everyone in his life know about me?” “Because Ike wanted you to himself. He didn’t want the questions, the comments that he knew would come up. All he wanted was the happiness he’d found with you. You said it yourself, he knew he didn’t have a long time on this earth. He lived in the here and now, not the tomorrow.” “It still hurts.” Anna whispered. “I’ve fought so hard to be something I’m not. I never wanted anyone to think that I didn’t know my own mind. And now, instead of finding out that I was as big a part of his life as he was in mine, I was merely..” “A woman he loved enough to protect.” Buck whispered brushing a stray tear from her face. “Don’t hate him for it.” Sighing he moved to where he’d tossed his saddle bag and withdrew the journal he’d kept. The pages were worn and crinkled from reading them over and over again but they were still legible. “Here. Read it. It’s Ike’s journal. The last half is about you, from the time he met you to the day he died. Ike loved you a lot Annie, he just knew that he didn’t have a whole lot of time to give you.” Taking the book Anna sat up and opened it, skimming the pages she read it through, blushing at certain points, smiling tearfully at other times. “I wanted to hate him Buck, I wanted to be able to say look at me, you didn’t care about me I don’t care about you. I want to just be mad at him only thing is I can’t because I know how his mind worked. I know Ike wouldn’t have wanted me to feel like that, he wants me to be happy, loved but still. Why couldn’t he have said something about me?” Anna sniffed. “Why couldn’t I fall in love with someone else?” “I don’t know.” Buck replied softly, the faint hope that she’d come to care for him fading before he’d really let it get too big. “I’m sure in time you’ll find someone..” “Oh shut up.” Anna snapped through her tears. “That has nothing to do with this. Its funny really, you should be laughing at it. I keep falling for men who want nothing from me. Who only want to protect me. Isn’t that a hoot?” “No.” Buck shook his head. “You’re wrong. Ike wanted something from you. He wanted forever.” “Yeah well he’s dead and I’m not!” Anna replied glancing away from Buck. “And I wish I was. If I was then I wouldn’t have to hurt all over again.” “Why?” “Why what?” “Why do you hurt all over again?” Buck asked. “You’re young, beautiful, you’ve got everything going for you.” Anna turned to look at him. Maybe Emma was right, maybe she needed to lay it all on the line. “Why don’t you ever touch me?” She demanded instead of answering his question. “What?” “You never touch me. Do you dislike me that much that you can’t stand..” “No.” Buck rose suddenly and paced to the window to stare outside. “That has nothing to do with it.” “Then what does?” “I can’t touch you.” “Why not?” “Because.” Buck sighed and rested his forehead against the cold window pane. “Can’t we just leave it be?” “No. I have a right to know. I want to know why you can’t stand to touch me? Is it because I’m that dirty to you?” “No!” Buck snapped whirling to face her, fury in his eyes along with something else that came close to a glimpse of hell. “I can’t touch you because one touch wouldn’t be enough Anna. A whole lifetime of touches wouldn’t be enough.” Lowering his voice he moved over to where she’d sat, pulling her legs up under her. “I know that, I have to deal with that fact. I value you too much as a friend to risk..” “Your heart?” Anna whispered softly. “My sanity.” Buck replied. “I fell for you a long time ago.” “When?” “Before I left Missouri.” “But if you felt that way about me then why?” “I went there to help Ike out. I’d promised to watch over you, and instead I fall in love with his girl. I couldn’t face you, hell I could barely face myself. I went there to give you a hand, push you into living again then I was going to walk away. Let go of the past, move on. Only it didn’t work out that way. The more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to spend, so I left.” “But you should’ve told me.” “Neither of us were ready to deal with that yet. Look at us Anna, we know each other so well and yet we never speak of that which we should have.” Buck shrugged, “I know Ike was the only man in your life but can you honestly tell me you weren’t tempted by anyone else?” “No I can’t. Because I am tempted by someone else. I’m tempted by you.” Anna whispered. “I never wanted to feel this way about anyone, least of all you. You’re Ike’s best friend, I realize that caring about you puts you in an awkward position.” “No my own guilt did that.” Buck glanced at her then back at the window. “So where do we go from here?” “I don’t know. Just take it one day at a time I guess.” Anna replied hearing footsteps she glanced up at the shadow that fell on the bed. “What you want Pa?” “The boys and I are heading for the ranch. You gonna be okay?” He asked seeing the handsome young man sitting next to her he felt a little uneasy. “I’ll be fine. Buck’s never let me down before.” Anna replied swiftly, her tone assured. “Alright. I’ve sent word for George to stay behind. He’ll bring Isaac back around supper time. I’ll expect you back at the ranch in a few days.” “What about Thompson?” Buck asked. “You should take him into town. Marshall Hunter’s anxious to talk to him.” “Ain’t nothing to say.” Allen shrugged. “He done wrong, he knows it. Besides he ain’t going to be of much value to your Marshall.” Turning on one heel Allen headed back outside, his thoughts on the relaxed way Anna accepted the half-blood’s presence. “Bring Thompson and his foreman.” Allen instructed the two hands he’d kept with him for their little talk to the other men. “It’s best to get along home. Anna needs her rest.” “What about that Indian?” “What about him?” Allen said swinging into the saddle. “You’ve got your instructions, best carry ‘em out.” Shaking their heads in unison the two cow-punchers tied a badly beaten Thompson to his saddle along with his foreman and fell into step behind their boss. A swift glance over their shoulder revealed the young man they’d spoken of standing in the doorway, looking like he wasn’t going to move, or be moved. “Something tells me she’s gonna be a little late getting to the ranch for Sunday dinner.” Smiling at the thought Allen shrugged, “Good. Means that we can get some work done for once.”   Buck watched Allen Tayler leave with mixed emotions. He’d never met the man, and yet he had sensed a control rage within the man, a need to be in control had circled around him like thunder. “He’s trying.” “I know.” Buck glanced at her. “I should head back into town. By now the boys have all heard about your little run in with Thompson, not to mention who you are and are dying to come out.” Buck smiled slightly. “Don’t let them ride herd on you.” “When have I ever let anyone ride herd on me?” Anna asked crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. “Other than you of course.” “That’s my girl. I’ll see you at first light, that north wall looks like it could use a little work.” Buck said hopping onto Teaspoon’s horse and lifting the reins of his grey. “You need anything from town?” “Nope.” Anna said. “I think I’ve got everything.” Waving at him she watched him ride out without looking back. Despite what happened in life, she’d been blessed. Firstly with a man who’d loved her for a short time, but he’d loved her enough to give her the blessing she called a son, and secondly by his best friend, a man who given time would let his emotional mask fade until they could be together. “Well Anna my girl, looks like you’ve got some work to do.” She told herself with a glance behind her. “That north wall is just as strong as it ever was, but if he wants to fix it then we’ll fix it.” Smiling for the first time in ages, she glanced around, taking a deep breathe and sighed. Tilting her chin up to the warmth of the spring sun she laughed softly. Ike had given her many things, a sense of belonging, acceptance, even passion. But it was what he’d given her without intending to that warmed her heart.   Chapter Ten   “Oh come on Buck, I can’t move that.” Anna protested quickly as she stared at the heavy wooden beam he’d pointed to. “I’m able bodied but I’m not a horse.” “Just grab an end. You said it yourself, you’ve got horses coming in within a few days. If we don’t get this barn up, you’ll be picketing them out in your yard.” Buck grunted as he grabbed hold of the beam. “And if I move it I’ll be laid up for a week with a sore back.” Anna grumbled as Isaac laughed from the steps. “Quit laughing at your mother, it ain’t polite.” “Yes Momma.” the little boy’s giggles grew louder, and Anna had to hide a grin. “You gonna lift or stand there looking at me all day?” Buck questioned with a grin. “Well.” Anna drew the word out carefully. “Just lift the end woman.” Buck ordered and waited impatiently for her to do that. A moment later they had the beam in place and were hoisting it up. As soon as it dropped into place Anna stepped back and admired her handiwork. “Looks good.” “You’ve got a pole standing in the middle of the roped off area. What’s so good looking about it?” Buck groused as he headed for the water bucket. “It’s up ain’t it?” Anna demanded. “It ain’t like it’s lying about on the ground.” “We’ve got the wall frames to put up next. With any luck we should have this building done by day after tomorrow.” “Just in time for the stock that’s coming.” Anna smiled. A glance at the huge field behind the house revealed wheat that was nearly to her waist, thick and lush as it grew. Studying it she glanced over at Buck who’d gone to sit next to Isaac, in the months since Harold Thompson had been drug back to the Rocking T, Buck had often come out to spend the day with her and her son, helping with the planting or with whatever chores needed to be done. Together they’d built an addition onto the house that now allowed her a private bedroom, Isaac a room of his own and still left plenty of room for guests if they ever came by. Through out it all they hadn’t spoken of the events that had brought them together, or where they were headed, instead they’d just let each day come and go as it might. “So you gonna sit there all day or come help me with this wall?” Anna asked with a laugh as Buck tossed a dipper full of water her way. “Well.” Buck said, his tone pondering. “I think it’s time for us to take a break. Isaac here’s been plenty patient waiting on me to go fishing. So we’re going fishing.” “You hate fishing!” Anna exclaimed as the two men in her life disappeared around the corner of the house, fishing poles in hand. Shaking her head Anna started on clean up, the tools were put away, the shavings raked into a pile when the sound of a buggy approaching had her glancing to the east. A smile drifted across her face when she recognized Louise Miller coming. Despite a rocky start the two women had become friends. “You’re not by yourself are you?” Lou asked climbing ungracefully out of the buckboard. After the first few days spent with everyone, her and the Kid had retreated away from everyone to work on their own place, a small farm a few miles from town to the south. Lou had to admit though that Anna had accomplished more in the few months they’d been working than she and Kid had, unless you counted her burgeoning belly that gave away her pregnancy. “No. The boys are fishing.” Anna said and brushed a hand across her face, not realizing that it left more dirt than it took away. “Come in, I’ve got fresh lemonade and cornbread.” “Sounds delightful.” Lou followed her inside and sat down at the table. Tracing the top of it, Lou noted that it looked like on of Ike’s pictures had been put on it. “Interesting pattern. Where did you get the table?” “From Buck. He carved it using one of Ike’s pictures of the Station.” Anna explained pouring the cold drink and setting it in front of Lou. “How are you doing?” “Fine. A little envious though.” Lou laughed at Anna’s frown. “We haven’t gotten nearly as much as you done on the farm. In fact, Kid’s hardly left the house these past weeks.” “I can see why.” Anna settled into the chair opposite her friend and leaned back, one hand on the glass of lemonade the other on her lap. “You get your stallion yet?” “Nope. Kid’s written to McQuire about it but he said he shipped the animal. Until we get him, I ain’t paying for him.” Lou shook her head. “Good for you. If he ain’t here in a week, I’d wire him and tell him to send someone over the trail or you will. That horse didn’t just disappear.” “I know, it’s taking it’s toll on Kid, he hardly dares to hope he’s gonna arrive. He went into town to see Jimmy who’s leaving tomorrow. Seems he’s gotten a job offer he couldn’t refuse, gonna be Marshall in some small town out in Kansas.” Lou explained. “You don’t like it do you?” Anna asked. “He’s your friend, your confident when you felt you couldn’t turn to Kid and now he’s leaving.” “No I don’t like it. Why couldn’t he be satisfied with what he’s got?” “Sometimes the heart makes your choices for you. Jimmy’s like a wild animal Lou, he needs to be free, unencumbered other wise a part of him will die. I think Jimmy knew this long ago, he lives in the moment, because he knows that what’s behind him will steal his future.” Sighing Anna shifted. “If you’re his friend you’ll forgive him and let him go.” “I am his friend. I’m not trying to stop him, but I would still appreciate knowing..” “I know what you mean. I often wonder where I’ll be in a few years.” Laughing she shrugged. “More importantly I wonder where a certain young man with black hair will be.” “Buck? Oh he’ll still be here. He’s not going anywhere. Buck’s settled same as Kid, it’s Jimmy that’s got wanderlust, both him and Cody.” “Cody left months ago. Just after the other three got back.” “I know. We get letters from him but he’s never in one place long enough to send one back to him.” Sighing Lou rubbed her stomach. “Sometimes I wish thing would stay the same.” Studying her glass Anna shivered slightly, “There was a time when I wished that same thing. Now though, I’m glad I’ve got what I have. Despite the fact that Buck refuses to stay out here, and insists on making that trip back into town every day, I’m glad he’s around.” “You two should just get married and put everyone out of their misery.” Lou chuckled. “Or at least live together.” “Oh the shame of it.” Anna laughed. “Buck won’t stay here. In fact come dusk he’ll ride back into town.” “Fool.” Lou finished her drink and rose. “You and those two boys should come for dinner some time.” “How about Sunday?” Anna asked. “I’ve got the whole day to torture Buck, I think dinner would be a welcome addition to the program.” “Fine. I’ll see you Sunday after church.” “After church.” Anna agreed and watched Lou drive off. Glancing around she saw the familiar forms of the tall man who loved a child not of his blood, and the child who clung to him with adoration approaching. “Who was that?” Buck asked. “Lou. We’re going to Sunday dinner.” Anna smiled serenely. “By we you mean you and Isaac?” Buck asked with dread on his face. He groaned when she shook her head and reached for the fish he held. “Nope. I mean all three of us.” Anna said turning to head inside. “You’d best feed the stock that is here, and help Isaac wash up. Dinner won’t be long with these fine fish to eat.” “Women.” Buck glanced down at his shadow. “Well my boy, shall we feed Luke and Daisy then wash up? Your Ma will have both of our behinds if we don’t wash proper.” “Yes sir.” Only the laughter in Isaac’s eyes revealed the mirth he felt at the thought of his mother getting angry with the tall man by his side. Though he hadn’t said anything he knew that his Daddy watched over them. Late at night when he couldn’t sleep he’d sit in his bed and talk to him, tell him his hopes for the future. Confess his sorrow that Buck often went home after working all day at the farm.  His Daddy always had an answer for him, and he knew some things just took time. It only took a few minutes to feed the two plow horses, and Isaac was really careful when he washed up. He knew his Ma like to see clean hands, clean faces, and even checked behind his ears to make sure he did it right. “You do a fine job of washing up.” Buck said patting him on the shoulder. “Come on, lets see if we can get in Ma’s way while she’s fixing supper.” Laughing Isaac took Buck’s hand and followed him inside. He hoped that he would spend the night, then they could play before work tomorrow. Entering the kitchen, he laughed as his Ma cast them both a familiar glance before turning back to the pan she was frying their catches in. “You need some help?” Buck asked. “Yeah. Set the table.” Anna ordered softly. “Isaac you’d best get a pitcher of water.” “Yes ma’am.” Darting past the woman Isaac climbed up and filled the pitcher with the metal cups that hung there on the rack by the sink. He took his job seriously, it was a ritual that they had come to take part in over the weeks since Mister Thompson had been by. Setting the water on the table, he sat down as Ma served up dinner. “Buck would you care to say the blessing.” Anna offered and bowed her head as Buck said the familiar words, always adding a small blessing for Ike. As soon as he was done, they started dishing up dinner. “Kid’s stallion still hasn’t shown up.” Anna commented quietly. “I don’t know where he could be.” “Would he keep him?” “No.” Anna shook her head violently. “I know McQuire, he might be an over weight blow hard but he’s as honest as the day is long.” “Well if he hasn’t arrived in a week, I’ll ride over there with him and see what’s going on.” Buck declared. “Hopefully I won’t need to, they’ve been waiting for a while for him and Kid’s getting a little antsy about the delay.” “Just be careful, who knows what could have delayed the arrival of that horse. I don’t want to be tending any wounds on account of male pride.” Anna warned. “You listening?” “Yes ma’am. We’ll be mighty careful.” Buck said seriously before winking at Isaac. “Another month and you’ll be harvesting that wheat. You’re gonna need help. I’ll talk to the boys, I’m sure Noah would be able to help.” “I hope so. Course I won’t be able to pay him until it sells.” “I’ll pay him.” Buck declared and turned his attention back to his plate. “How long we expected to stay at Lou and Kid’s for dinner Sunday?” “As long as it’s polite.” Anna replied tartly. “Why you got plans?” “Yep.” Buck smiled. “I’m going swimming.” “Buck Cross, have you no shame?” Anna laughed at Isaac’s frown. “Nope. Not yet anyway.” Buck smiled at Isaac and glanced at Anna. Despite working all day she looked pretty much the same as she did that morning when he’d ridden in. Sitting studying her laughing with the little boy to his right, he had to admit that it was getting harder each night to go back to town. Glancing at his plate, he wondered just who it would hurt if he stayed. He would bunk in the living room like they had done before in Missouri and then they could work together as they had been. “When were you planning on heading back into town?” Anna asked noting the thoughtful frown on Buck’s face. Glancing up sharply at the woman across from him, he shrugged. “I’m not sure. There ain’t anybody waiting for me.” “Good then you’ll stay for coffee? It’ll be dark soon I know but I enjoy a cup of coffee on the porch after the sun goes down. Isaac you finish your dinner or no desert.” “What’s for desert?” Buck asked, ignoring the warning voice in his head that said to exercise caution. “Chocolate cake.” Anna replied quickly. “I made it this morning while I was waiting for you to come in.” “Mmm. Chocolate cake.” Buck smiled at Isaac. “Not bad huh. Hurry up with that last bite my good man. I’m dying for some of that cake of your Ma’s.”   Sitting on the steps Buck stared at the empty corral and sighed, the fence posts were only vague shapes in the growing darkness, the sun had set and the moon wouldn’t rise for another hour, maybe two. “They were tasty fish.” Anna said softly coming outside with a cup of steaming coffee to hand to him. “Best fish I ever ate.” Buck admitted. “Guess you know your way around a fish.” “Thanks.” Anna laughed softly, the sound drifting away on a cooling breeze off the creek. “So what do you figure? You think the barn’ll hold the horses?” “Should hold a tornado the way it’s being built.” Buck admitted leaning back and glancing at Anna, who sat staring at the skeleton of a barn. The frames of the walls lay on the ground, the north wall standing in the fading light. “Kinda big for just seven horses. You’re gonna have enough room to put in a tack room, hayloft, and still have room to store feed.” “Good. I was thinking that I’d get a milk cow. Could always use the milk with the way you two go through it.” Anna said her hands wrapped around a up of coffee. “Maybe some chickens. I know the Hutchers have a flock, you figure they’d be willing to sell a few?” “You could ride out tomorrow I guess and ask. No harm in it.” Buck replied. “That’s what I’ll do. If I offer them a fair price, they might sell. You know of anyone who’s got a milk cow to sell?” “Noah might have an idea. I’ll ask him when I see him.” Buck replied. “Isaac’s gonna need some new shoes before winter, might want to order them from Thompkins in the next little while. Before harvest I mean.” “I’ve got shoes for Isaac. Buck we’ve been over this. I can’t afford to buy everything I need..” “You get him new shoes woman, I’ll worry about a cow and chickens.” Buck looked her in the eye, he knew as well as she did where those shoes had come from and he didn’t want Isaac to feel second best. “What are you short on?” “Buck.” Anna shook her head. “What are you short on?” He refused to be moved on the subject. “Anna.” “I need flour, sugar, coffee, and some new fabric. I’ve patched most of my clothes, but Isaac could use a new shirt, pair of pants and such.” Anna admitted. “Well, I know Rachel’s got clothe she ain’t using. You could ask her for it. But the other, we’ll just have to start a tab in the store.” “Buck you know I hate doing that.” “Tough, those are things you need, not wasteful items. You need ‘em, best get them.” Buck said and took a long swallow on his coffee. “I’ll talk to Thompkins.” “Look I can sell the pendant.” Anna said quickly, her hand going to the chain that hung around her neck. A locket reflected the fading light. “Emma gave it to me. I’m sure she won’t mind if I sell it to buy groceries. Or I could dig into that money I’ve been saving from Ike. That would pay for grub.” “What about your Pa?” Buck asked ignoring the talk about Ike’s money. “Would he give us a loan?” “I don’t know. I’ve never asked him for money.” Anna admitted, not really noticing the way Buck kept including himself in the plans. “I suppose I could ask him. He’s coming over tomorrow to check up on me.” “Well then we’ll talk to him then.” Buck said. “You’d best get some rest, you’re up before the crack of dawn most times.” “Buck we can’t just go borrowing money. We’re gonna have to pay it back and what if we don’t get hardly nothing for this crop? How are we gonna pay then?” “Anna, I’ll not argue.” Buck shook his head. “Trust me.” Rising Anna smothered the urge to scream and turned to head back inside. “Don’t blame me if he turns us down.” “I won’t.” Buck declared at turned away from her as she departed back inside. Turning back to his watch he took another swallow of the coffee, if nothing else he’d sell what little he owned to get money for food for Isaac and Anna, even if he had to do without himself.   Chapter Eleven   Allen Tayler rode a dusty roan into his daughter’s yard and dismounted. The sound of laughter reached his ears as he glanced around, the familiar sounds told him that Buck Cross was once again present “He sure spends a lot of time here.” George muttered uneasily. “Wonder why?” “Probably because he lives here.” Allen replied carefully, “Come on. Sounds like they’re down at the creek.” “Barn looks good.” “Yep.”  Allen walked toward the laughter and paused under a tall oak tree to watch his daughter and her son playing tag with the tall half-blood who was never far away from them. Seeing Isaac grab a hold of Buck’s ankles he smiled, then shook his head when Anna tackled the young man sending the three of them into the tall grass. “Looks like she’s happy.” George said with a touch of wonder. “I think she is.” Allen said then waved. “Hey you three, can anyone play or is it reserved for you?” “Pa!” Rising quickly Anna smoothed her dress down and flushed as Buck climbed slowly to his feet, she glanced at him when he pulled a twig from her hair. “When did you get here?” “Just did.” Allen replied and hugged his grandson. “Mister Cross.” “Mister Tayler.” Buck nodded at the two men and ushered Anna forward with a hand on her waist. “How are you today?” “Very well.”  Allen watched the man moving, Anna seemed to be at ease with him and he relaxed. Despite his acceptance of the man, it was only Anna’s acceptance that kept him from tearing his head off for spending so much time there, especially when it was in such bad taste. He’d drilled the concept of keeping up appearances into all of his children right from the time they could walk, and to go against that caused him some unease. “Uh, I wasn’t expecting you for another hour. I’d best start on dinner.” “I thought we could go into town.” Allen suggested. “I’m buying.” “Actually we wanted to run some business by you.” Buck intervened smoothly. “That’s why we were going to eat here.” “Well lets talk business then we’ll go for supper.” Allen said and lifted Isaac up to head back to the house leaving the others to follow him quickly. Sitting at the table he took the offered coffee from his daughter and glanced at the pair. Their uneasy expressions alerted him to something but he waited for them to speak. “I was wondering,” Anna started. “I mean we were wondering if we could get a loan from you.” Anna fidgeted, her fingers pulling at the table clothe until Buck’s larger, callused palm settled over them. “Not a lot, just enough to get some supplies laid in for winter. And you’d get your money back..” “Hold up there.” Allen waved a hand effectively silencing his daughter. “You want to borrow some money from me?” “Yes sir.” Buck said glancing at Anna with a small smile. “We need to expand a little in areas and to do that we need money.” “You know Anna I’m not in the habit of lending out money.” “I know Pa, but it would only be until the harvest is done then I’d pay you back with whatever I get from that.” “And what if you don’t get anything?” Allen shook his head. “No. I won’t loan you the money.” He declared and tried not to feel saddened by the crushed look Anna tried to hide. “I’ll give it to you. Now you know that you’re entitled to a fourth of the ranch.” “Yes Pa but..” “No buts. I’ll buy you out, what you do with that money is up to you.” Allen said. “This means that the boys can pay me for the additional portion that they would receive. Everyone’s happy.” “Thank you sir.” Buck said as Anna rose and headed for the stove. “Anna’s been mighty worried about it. She ain’t one to talk about problems and such but I can tell when something’s bothering her.” “Really?” Allen leaned back in his chair. “How is it that you know what’s going on in her head before I do? I mean I realize that you spend most of your time here.” “Not most. All.” Buck replied leaning back. “The only time I’m not here is when I’m at the jail. I promised to help her out, and that’s what I’m doing.” “By living here?” George gaped at the man. “How is that..” “George.” Allen warned in a low tone. “Enough.” “Leave him alone.” Anna warned with a frown at her brother. “How come the boys don’t come with you Pa? I haven’t seen Michael or Adrian in ages.” “Michael’s in Boston at some convention and Adrian is too busy with the ranch to go anywhere. He’s even too busy to go into town to see his girl.” “Brave man.” Buck muttered and glanced at Anna as she reached past him to set a plate down. “Uh Anna?” “Yeah.” “We’re going into town to eat.” Buck said quietly. He hid his grin at her groan. “Come on Isaac, I’d forgotten best get you cleaned up and dressed for it.” Anna declared and ushered Isaac down the hall to his room. A glance over her shoulder pinned Buck where he sat. “You to Mister Cross, you’ve been working all day. Shower’s out back.” “But I’m fine. I had a bath in the creek?” “Then change your clothes. You can’t go into town wearing grass stained clothes.” Anna’s voice drifted down the hallway a moment before the door shut with a sound click. “Damn woman. Doesn’t hurt anything to have a few grass stains on my shirt.” Buck grumbled. “How the heck does she expect me to change, I haven’t got anything..” “Your dress shirt and pants are in the trunk under my bed.” Anna hollered to him and turned her attention back to her son. Allen glanced at his son as Buck headed down the hall, his head shaking as he spoke under his breath. “Poor boy.” “Poor boy?” George huffed indignantly. “Why poor boy? He’s a man all he’s got to do is tell her he ain’t changing clothes.” “You’ve never been in love son, one of these days you’re gonna realize that telling a woman no is a painful experience.” Allen sat back in his chair and sighed. Unless he missed his guess, Anna had plans that included a wedding ring, and the loss of the bedroll tucked behind a chair in the sitting area. “You know. We could probably expand by buying that whole western plot.” Buck said leaning against the wall next to Isaac’s room. “We could use that as grazing for some cattle, it’s nearly a hundred acres of good grazing land.” “I know. I’d like to but I think Kid’s already put in a bid on it.” Anna called through the door a moment before it opened. “Besides that plot to the south is just as nice.” “The creek runs through it.” Buck nodded in agreement, then followed her to her room. Leaning against the wall he waited for her to speak, the bedroom door the only thing between them. “Yeah, and if we can control water rights on that parcel then we’ll be laughing. The only one who actually uses that water is Kid and Lou anyway, but I’d like to make sure no one else can.” “You talk to the lands office?” “Yes. They said fifty cents an acre.” She replied, the words muffled by her blouse which she’d pulled over her head. “I think I could get them down to thirty cents..” “No. They might just raise the price. We’ll go into town tomorrow and tell them we’ll take it.” Buck declared. “Besides you said it yourself, you wanted that southeastern pasture for corn.” “But if we buy it then I’d like to run cattle on it. I’ve got sixty acres of wheat and thirty acres of pastureland that’s running with horses, or will be. That would be perfect for cattle.” “Why not talk to Kid and Lou?” Buck suggested as the door opened and she stepped out to turn to him with her buttons undone along her back. “We can by the southern parcel, but at the same time if they’re agreeable we could all buy the other one then we could run twice as much cattle?” “If they haven’t already bought it. I’ll talk to Lou on Sunday.” “Anna, you know I hate Sunday dinners. Why would you agree to one?” Buck complained as he followed her back to the kitchen a few steps behind Isaac. “Because they’re our friends, neighbors, and because you spent how many months living in the same bunkhouse as they did?” Smiling angelically Anna tugged on his collar. “Tie?” “Pocket.” Buck grumbled. “I hate ties.” “Tough. You’re gonna look presentable. Won’t have anyone talking ‘bout you being anything other than a gentleman.” Buck stared at her for a second. “You seem to forget they’re already talking.” “Oh good. Then this will give them something else to talk about. Now hurry up, the buckboard’s got to be hitched up and I’ve got to get Isaac into his jacket and tie.” “Resist.” Buck whispered to the boy, just loud enough that she could hear him. “Resist as long as you can Isaac. Women are notorious creatures for wanting to tie us into string around our neck.” “Oh quit complaining. You look good in a tie, now go on with you. That team ain’t gonna harness itself.” Anna waved him out the door with a grin. “Pa! Wash up, I don’t travel with dusty cowboys, and you’re covered in it.” “Yes ma’am.” Allen rose and slapped George on the shoulder. “We’ll just wash up, didn’t bring any other clothes to wear.” “Fine. Isaac honey no.” Anna turned her attention to her son who was trying to get into the cookie jar. “You’re gonna ruin your appetite.” Stepping outside Allen grinned, despite her tone, everyone had done exactly what she wanted. “George when you get married, do me a favor.” “Sure Pa. Anything.” “Marry a woman who’s got as much steel in her backbone as your sister.” Allen glanced at his son. “I made too many mistakes with your Mother, she was a delicate woman given to accepting whatever I threw at her.  Marry a woman who can give as well as receive.” “Yes Pa.” Washing up George glanced over at the jingle of harness and watched Buck lead the team to the buckboard and hitch them to it. “Pa?” “Yeah.” “He’s a good man.” “Yes he is.” Allen replied quietly. “He loves her, and he loves Isaac.” “I know. Doesn’t Adrian have any idea what this is like? He could have this in a heartbeat if he wanted to.” George glanced around at the corrals, out buildings and construction that was underway. “I know there’s a lot of work to be done here everyday, but still they’re happy.” “Yes they are.” Allen shook his head. “By the way you owe me four thousand dollars.” “For what?” “A third of Anna’s share.” Allen grinned. “I’ll just take it out of your salary. Best go into town next week and get the money for her. I’ll wire it up to the bank here and she can pay for what she needs from that.” “You should have told them how much it was.” George declared as Buck walked up. “How do you two figure to buy land with very little money?” “We need five hundred for the acreage to the south of us.” Buck shrugged. “Between Ike’s money and what I’ve got saved we’ll be able to manage it.” “And supplies?” Allen asked. “Anna buys supplies.” Buck smiled softly as he watched the woman in question walk out of the house.  Despite wearing only a black skirt and white blouse, she looked stunning. “Anna takes very good care of those she cares about.” “I can see that.” George muttered as she walked past them. “Anna.” “Get in the wagon George. You’re holding us up.” Anna snapped. “But what if I want to ride my horse?” “The wagon George.” Anna snapped furiously, a frown marring her face. “Or I’ll drag you by your ear.” “Yes ma’am.” George glanced at his father before climbing into the back of the buckboard. “Come on Pa.” “I’ll drive.” Allen volunteered. “Buck drives.” Anna replied with a smile at the man who held the reins. “He’s always driven.” “That’s just cause it’s easier than letting her drive. She’s almost as bad as Louise is.” “Ha!” Anna laughed steadily. “Lou’s a good driver.” “I know.” Buck said and clucked to the team. “Gittup there.” The team started off easily and Allen watched the pair in front of him. Despite their presence they didn’t seem to be acting like nothing was wrong. In fact they sat discussing cattle and land and water like any married couple would do. “Tell her.” George whispered. “No.” Allen turned to him. “I’ll tell her what I think she needs to know.” Shaking his head George clamped his mouth shut, someday his Pa was going to get himself killed the way he talked and he doubted if he really understood the whys and how of it.   Dinner was a lively affair, filled with laughter and conversation although when they’d arrived they’d gotten a few looks that sent Allen to the defensive. A quiet word from Anna and Buck had drawn his attention back to the young man who lifted his daughter and grandson out of the buckboard and onto the sidewalk. Now sitting watching the trio as coffee was served, Allen had to admit that keeping his promise to be nice to his daughter hadn’t been all that hard considering how close he’d come to losing her and the grandchild he might never of known if it hadn’t been for the half-blood that sat with them. “You look pensive.” Anna said softly looking at her father. “Something wrong?” “No Anna. Just thinking of how stupid I can be at times.” “Pa?” “Maybe if I’d shown a little more understanding to your Ma she’d still be here.” Allen shrugged. “Who knows.” “Ma loved you.” Anna patted his hand. “And you loved her.” “Yes I did.” Allen shifted. “Now tell me about this expansion you want to do.” “Nothing much to tell. We’re gonna see about buying the land to the south of us and then we’re going to run cattle.” “I notice that neither of you said I am going to do this or do that. It’s always we. How come?” Allen leaned back slightly in his chair hoping she’d be honest with him. “Because we’re a team.” Sara shrugged. “Sorta like you and George.” “No I don’t think so.” Allen tilted his head and studied the young man who’d risen to speak to the local Marshall. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team like you and Buck there.” “Maybe you’ve just never paid any attention.” Anna said and glanced at Buck who leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I’ll be right back. Teaspoon wants me to take a look at a track.” “Okay. Be careful.” Anna said patting his hand. “Try not to get dirty.” “I’ll try.” Buck said picking up his hat and squeezing Isaac’s shoulder. “You be good for Ma okay?” “Yes sir.” Isaac nodded quickly with a grin and watched him walk away. “What was that all about?” “He’s looking at a track for the Marshall.” Anna declared. “He’s on call as a deputy.” “Anne you shouldn’t be involved..” George started. “Shut up.” Allen snapped. “She’s got a mind let her use it.” Shaking her head Anna glanced between them. “He’ll be back.” “If you say so.” “I do.” Anna snapped at George and turned her attention to Isaac ignoring the other two at the table.     Chapter Twelve Standing on the porch Anna watched Buck ride out with Teaspoon, Kid, Noah, and Barnett. “Well there goes this week’s work.” Anna glanced at Isaac. “How about you go get your book and sit down outside with it? I’m gonna turn out those horses, then work on the garden for a bit.” “Okay.” “Good boy.” Ruffling her son’s hair, Anna moved over to the corral and opened the gate before ushering the horses out of the pen and onto the lush grass that had grown up. Tethering them in place with a single hobble on one foreleg, she turned her attention to the garden a short distance away from the house. The sun was sinking in the west when Anna glanced up and smiled, despite his age and his size Isaac was walking toward her with a water bucket, his face a picture of concentration. Rising she stretched out her back and headed toward him, being careful not to step on the bean plants she left the garden and walked to meet the young boy. “Thanks Isaac.” “You’re welcome.” Isaac smiled at her. “I made a sandwich Momma. When can we have supper?” “How about as soon as I clean up we’ll have something to eat? You can help me okay?” “Okay!” Smiling happily at her he tagged along as she carried the water bucket to the wash bowl, poured some in and scrubbed her hands a moment before leading him inside. “How about something quick and easy?” Anna smiled at her son. “How about chicken dumplings?” “Yes please.”  Isaac sat down at the table and watched his mother made the sticky batter before putting it in the now boiling water along with some left over chicken pieces from the night before. “Momma how long is daddy going to be gone?” Isaac asked glancing out the window at the gathering darkness. Ana replied slowly, trying to hide the shock of hearing her son call Buck daddy. Despite the thrill it gave her and stirred the longing for him to be more than just a friendly ranch hand as he’d been, she swallowed and turned to face her son. “A few days. He’s going over to Mister McQuire’s ranch to help Kid get his horse.” “I wish he didn’t go.” Isaac whispered. “I wish he’d stayed home so we could play.” “Oh honey I know you do.” Anna knelt next to her son. “But you know that Uncle Kid asked him to do this a long time ago.” “I know.” Sighing Anna wondered if she should say something to Isaac about calling Buck Daddy, then decided against it. She didn’t want to explain why he shouldn’t care about the man, especially when it was very clear to her that Buck adored the boy. Rising she moved back to the stove and stared at the cooking dumplings, hiding the sheen of tears that covered her eyes. In the months since their talk Buck had lowered his guard, in fact he spent more time with them than with anyone, helped out in the decision making. Did everything a husband and father would do except sleep in her bed and it was driving her up the wall. So many times she’d had to stop herself from going to him, from reaching for him when they were close and she was tired of hiding just how much she loved the big fool. Blinking rapidly she cleared her vision and took a deep calming breathe before reaching for the plates and dishing out supper. Setting the plates with the dumplings on the table she lifted a loaf of bread down then settled down at the table. Hearing a buggy she glanced at Isaac, “Looks like we’ve got company.” Rising she grabbed the colt Buck had left her and moved to the door. Despite the quiet of the area, she never really let her guard down when Buck wasn’t around, never really liked anything that wasn’t planned or expected. A rapid knocking on the door had her frowning, the sound was low on the wooden door, not high up. “Who’s there?” “It’s me.” Lou’s pain filled voice had her jerking the door open and grabbing for the young woman. “I’m sorry to drop in like this.” Lou gasped, bending over double at the searing pain in her abdomen. “That’s fine.” Anna gasped. “Come on, we’d best get you laying down.” Leading her down the slight hallway, she smiled evilly and opened Buck’s bedroom door. “Come on..” “I couldn’t make it to town. The pains are too close together.” “It’s okay. I’m sure I can help out.” Anna said laying her out on the bed and turning to jerk her half-tied boots off. Tossing them over her shoulder she smiled at Isaac. “Honey can you got get me an armful of wood and some more water. Just a little bit.” Nodding the boy raced off to do as he’d been instructed leaving Anna to soothe Lou who was near tears with anxiety. “I didn’t know what else to do. I don’t know anything about having a baby..” “Shh. You’re going to be fine. This is easy, the Good Lord will walk you through it.” Anna soothed. “Trust me, I’ve done this before.” “I know.” Lou gasped. “Which is why I felt comfortable coming here.” “Good. Now then, lets get you comfortable, and covered up so this babe can be born.” Anna spoke firmly, hesitating to reveal any fear she might feel. Hearing Isaac moving around she darted out into the kitchen and poured the water into the compartment of the wood stove then smiled at Isaac. “It’s okay honey, Aunt Louise is only having her baby.” Isaac nodded but the paler remained, he didn’t want kids ever if it hurt that much to have one. Sitting at the table he listened to his mom talking firmly, but soothingly to Aunt Louise and sighed. Daddy shouldn’t have left, if he was here he’d make everything better, Isaac knew it. Resting his head on the table, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, unaware of the rapidness with which his soon to be adopted cousin was making her entrance. Jerking awake at the high pitched cry Isaac rose and darted down the hallway. “Momma?” Stopping at the partially opened doorway he waited impatiently for something that would tell him everything was okay. “It’s okay Isaac. It’s a girl.” Anna smiled at her son, and showed him the baby. “Can you do something for me?” “Sure Momma.” “Can you take care of the horses. The teams got to go back into the corral and Auntie’s horse needs to be unhitched and put in the barn.” “Yes ma’am.” Turning Isaac headed down the hallway and outside glad for something to do. “See Lou told you it wouldn’t take long.” “You’re right it didn’t.” Lou whispered tiredly and smiled at her daughter as Anna laid her on the bed next to her. “She’s so beautiful.” “Yes she is. A true gift.” Anna whispered softly as she gathered the soiled garments and put them in a pile to be taken care of later. “What are you going to name her?” “Grace Anne Miller.” Louise smiled. “Seems like a good name.” “A truly pretty name for a pretty girl. Get some rest, you’ll be up in a couple of hours with Grace here.” Smiling tiredly Lou watched Anna walk out of the room and sighed. While she was happy that her baby was happy and healthy a touch of sadness touched her heart. Kid hadn’t been here to watch the birth of his daughter and she had wanted him to be so badly. Closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep, her hand resting on her daughter as she slept soundly as well.   Hours later Anna lay in bed staring at the ceiling, tired yet her mind refused to shut down. She longed to have someone to talk to , someone to confide in that her heart was breaking. Watching Lou’s baby being born, hearing the love in her voice when she spoke of her husband had done more to stir up the wants of Anna’s until her body ached with it. Shifting she rolled over and faced the wall, she longed to have Buck next to her, touching her, loving her the way she wanted him to but it didn’t look like he would ever realize that they could make it work. “Damn man.” Anna whispered closing her eyes as tears pooled. “I hate him.” “No you don’t Anna Marie.” That annoying voice in the back of her mind spoke up. “You love him.  And the knot-head loves you so don’t go giving up.” “I’ve been waiting for him for years.” Anna muttered the slammed a fist into her pillow. “Now I’m talking to myself. Just lock me away and throw the key out the window.” “Anna?” Lou’s voice had her rising and hurrying down the hall to where Lou sat propped up in bed, the baby at her breast. “Yes Lou.” “Is everything okay? I heard you talking..” “I’m so sorry.” Anna grimaced. “I was talking to myself. Well complaining is more like it.” “I hope we’re not putting anyone out. I realize that this is..” “Buck’s room.” Anna replied. “I would have put you in mine but I have plans for that room and you aren’t included in them.” She spoke softly, not unkindly. “You love him a lot uh?” “Yeah. Not that you’d know it by him.” Anna sighed and sank down into a chair. “The jerk still refuses to sleep in my bedroom and its driving me insane.” Smiling Lou shrugged. “Well they are supposed to spend a couple of days at McQuire’s if you hurry you could get there for the big social event that he talked them into attending. Kid and Buck are the only two that’s staying for it. If you just show up who’s it hurting, and you can say I sent you if it’ll make you feel better.” “And what’s that going to accomplish?” Anna shook her head. “I would kill for a chance to get him alone in a bedroom for an hour, hell make it ten minutes.” Flushing she shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, I’m not that bad, yet.” “I was just as bad before we got back together. In fact I would have held him at knife point to get what I wanted.” Lou laughed and shifted the baby as she started to relax her grip on her breast. “But I have an idea.” “What?” “We’re going to need Kid’s help.” “Do we have to?” Anna groaned. “Does everyone need to know that I can’t even entice the man enough to get him to kiss me?” “Oh this idea guarantees that you’ll be kissed.” Lou laughed. “Now here’s what we’re going to do.” Leaning forward Lou dropped her voice and revealed her idea, being careful to leave out a couple of key points that she needed her husband’s help with.  When she was finished Anna had laughed softly and nodded quickly. “Okay, I’ll do it. I know it’s a lot to ask but could you watch Isaac for me while I head over and retrieve our menfolk?” “No problem.” Lou smiled softly, remembering her own plans for her husband. “I’d be happy to.” “He’ll help out as much as possible. Even at five he’s a bit intense.” “Don’t worry. Now get out of here so I can sleep. I’ll see you when you get back.” Rising Anna smiled at her friend and headed back to bed. Sliding beneath the covers she smiled, he wouldn’t know what hit him. Closing her eyes Anna drifted into a deep sleep, glad that for once someone had a good idea to get Buck to forget that Anna wasn’t available.   Rising with the early morning light, Anna packed her saddle bags carefully and dressed with care for the trail. A pair of pants, a white shirt, jacket and hat pulled down over her face hid the fact that she was a girl, or at least she hoped they did.  Tightening the belt on the pants that she’d stolen out of Buck’s room she headed for the kitchen. “Morning.” She smiled at her son and kissed his hair. “I’ve got to go and get Uncle Kid and Buck okay? Aunt Louise is going to stay here so help her out as much as you can but don’t do anything that you’re not allowed to do. No fire building, no hunting..” “Yes ma’am.” Isaac watched his mother carefully, something told him that Daddy was in trouble and he was glad she was leaving him behind. “Good boy. Now I’ll be as quick as I can, I’m going to take Storm okay, and you listen to Aunt Louise. I love you.” Smiling at her son she watched him carefully for a sign that he was upset by her plan. Seeing only a hopefulness and steadiness that belied his age, she sighed, he was very much his father’s son. “Alright. I’m off. I’ll be back soon.” “Be careful.” Louise’s voice had them both turning to her. “I’ll see you in a few days.” Anna smiled. “You just keep your end of the bargain.” “Don’t worry. I will.” Louise said leaning against the doorjamb as Anna moved swiftly out the door. Listening intently for the thunder of a horse moving out at high speed she smiled ta Isaac who stared back at her with an only too familiar gaze. Anna was right, the kid was way too intense for his age. “So what should we do first?” “How about breakfast?” Isaac smiled at his aunt who laughed and nodded. “Yeah, how about breakfast.” Moving gingerly, the pain from the birth still twinging along her nerves Louise started breakfast and made a pot of coffee a reverent prayer on her lips that she wasn’t making a good situation bad with her interference.     Chapter Thirteen. Leaning against the wall nursing a cup of punch Buck watched Kid move toward him, ignoring the way the women’s eyes followed him across the room. Moving so that Kid could take up a place along the wall he grinned at his friend. “Looks like you’ve got a room full of admirers.” “So?” Kid shrugged. “The only woman I’m interested in isn’t here.” “I know.” Buck sighed softly. “Whatever possessed you to agree to this in the first place?” He asked adjusting his collar of his suit. As much as he hated being stuck in a corner, he hated wearing a suit even more. Glancing around he swore to himself and stifled a shudder, “I hate this whole get dressed up just so they can stare routine. You’d think they’d never seen an Indian in a suit before.” “They’re looking cause you’re a good looking man.” Kid grinned. “Or at least that’s what Anna keeps saying.” Glancing at Kid, Buck took refuge in his cup of punch. “Yeah well she’s a good looking woman.” “Good looking?” Laughing Kid shrugged. “That would be like me saying Lou’s a good looking woman. Completely inadequate, Anna’s gorgeous.” “And you’re married remember.” Buck groused, shifting at the topic of conversation. Much as he hated to admit it, he was getting tired of sleeping down the hall from her. He wanted her in his bed, curled up next to him so he could feel her warmth all night long. “I ain’t saying I want her, just saying she’s a helluva fine looking woman.” Kid replied taking a sip of his drink. “Course Lou’s prettier so I guess there’s no competition.” “Glad we’re in agreement.” Buck retorted. “When can we get out of here?” “Not until we’ve seen all the breeders.” Kid replied. “Much as I hate to agree with your assessment, I’m anxious to get home. Lou’s due anytime and being away from her is killing me.” “I should be at home. We’ve still got to finish the harvest, then there’s the horses that need to be worked.” Buck frowned. “I’ve got to fix that bloody chicken coop. Duke busted it down there a week ago, and we’ve got the walls stored up but it needs to be fixed for the winter.” “Spoken like a married man. That ain’t the only reason you want to get home is it?” Kid muttered glancing around. Stifling a groan he nudged Buck, “Look out looks like Miss McQuire is on her way over.” “What for?” Buck snarled. “God that woman is relentless.” “I may be wrong Buck but she probably wants too see if you’re as savage as she’s heard all Indians are.” Kid muttered from behind his cup. “Great.” Buck pasted a smile on his face as the woman in question, a tall fair haired woman with green eyes approached them. Seeing the invitation in her eyes, Buck smothered a groan and glanced at Kid helplessly. “I hate this.” He signed. “I know you do. A few more minutes then we can go.” Kid promised uneasily. He’d seen the way the woman looked at Buck and he didn’t want to have to save him from a lynch party, he didn’t trust her not to scream, “RAPE!” If she didn’t get what she wanted.   Pausing in the doorway of the ballroom, Anna glanced around uneasily. Her long dress was crisp and clean, the off the shoulder style revealing the tan she’d acquired working in the sun, a thin chain hung around her neck and the matching earrings dangled from her ears to sway gently with each movement of her head. Her long hair upswept to be piled into a mass of riotous curls atop her head, with several tendrils hanging down to brush against her cheeks.  Spotting the person she was looking for, Anna squared her shoulders and moved forward with the grace and aplomb that had been drilled into her from the day she was born. “Why Miss Wilson what a pleasant surprise?” The familiar voice of Edward McQuire had her glancing at him. “Mister McQuire, how are you this evening?” Anna turned to face the man, not even bothering to correct him on her name. “Very well. I don’t recall your father being here.” “He’s not. I’m actually here with someone else.” “Oh, who?” “My fiance.” Anna smile calmly, “I see him over there and I’m absolutely dying to speak to him and his associate. I really must beg your leave.” “Of course. Glad to see you’re out and about these days.” Edward said stepping out of her way and watched her walk toward the two men from Rock Creek, her posture confident and relaxed. How had any man gotten so lucky as to be engaged to Anna Wilson was beyond him, he’d watched her for years, hoping that his son would be able to marry her and now he sighed, now the boy’d be lucky if he got spoken to.   Kid spotted Anna moving toward them and froze, the pale blue dress she wore revealed her throat and a hint of the cleavage that Lou had managed to acquire only through pregnancy, her blue eyes sparkled with mischief and a smile tugged at her lips. “Buck.” He said turning to his friend who had turned his back to the crowd and was busy trying to disengage himself from the woman clinging to him. “Buck.” “Excuse me Miss McQuire.” Buck spoke firmly and reached up to remove the woman’s hand from his arm when a pair of small hands curled around his waist and someone’s warm breath tickled his ear. “Evening Kid, Sara.” Anna smiled softly and tightened her grip on Buck’s chest. “Hi Lover.” Buck tensed and glanced down into a pair of smiling blue eyes that were achingly familiar. “Annie.” “Anna.” Sara McQuire glanced at the young woman with her hands on the half-blood that she’d been toying with all evening. “What brings you here?” “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” Anna smiled at her and moved to Buck’s side, trailing her hand along his waist until she stood in front of him and leaned back into his body. “Where’s Adam?” “In Washington.” Sara smiled coldly. “Attending some big talk on agriculture.” “Really. How intriguing. I hope you don’t mind if I steal these two men away. I have a message from Mister Miller’s wife.” “Not at all.” Sara conceded and turned to storm off. “Oh Sara, This really is a fine party.” Anna spoke with a soft smile, but the look in her eyes told the other woman more than her words. “I’m sure.” Nodding at the two men Sara moved off. “Good evening gentlemen.” “What are you doing?” Buck hissed in Anna’s ear. “I’m glad that you managed to run off the clinging woman but that doesn’t begin to tell me what you’re doing here.” “I came with a message for Kid.” Anna smiled at him and leaned up to kiss him softly before turning to face the man she’d ignored for the most part. “Lou sends her regards.” “How is she? What happened?” Kid demanded worry etched into his face. “She’s fine. Both her and Grace are doing very well.” “Who’s Grace?” Buck demanded. “Kid’s daughter.” Anna turned to him with that stubborn look in her eye he recognized. “Something you’d know if you would quit flirting with disaster. Don’t you have any sense of self preservation? Sara McQuire would eat you for breakfast.” “We’ll talk about it later.” Buck promised silkily and ushered her toward the door. He paused when their host stepped in front of them. “Mister McQuire.” “Gent’s. Miss Wilson.” “McSwain.” Buck muttered. “Her name is McSwain.” “Oh.” Edward paused confusion obvious in his eyes. “I hope you’re not running off.” “I’m afraid so.” Anna spoke up. “There’s some news that has made it impossible to stay.” “Nothing bad I hope.” “No, no. I’m afraid Mister Miller’s wife has had her baby. And he is needed at home.” “Well then congratulations.” Edward smiled and glanced at the half-blood. “I hope your wife is doing very well.” “Oh Mister McQuire, this isn’t Mister Miller, that is.” Anna nodded at Kid. “This is Mister Cross. If you’ll excuse us.” “Certainly. Have a safe trip home.” He moved out of the way a bewildered look on his face. “I’m sure we will.” Kid declared casting an uneasy glance at Buck who looked furious and Anna who looked, guilty? What the hell was going on? Following the two men out into the crisp evening air she glared at Buck for a moment then turned to Kid, “Louise’s watching Isaac for me. I told her I’d get you and come straight home.” “Damn I knew I shouldn’t have left her.” Kid muttered. “Nonsense.  Women have been having babies forever, she just wants to see you now.” Anna smiled at him and headed for where her horse stood tethered. “I’ve got to get back to town to change out of this dress, I’ll meet you at the livery in say an hour?” “Oh no need. I’ll ride with you.” Buck snapped as he mounted his horse as easily as Kid did. “I’m sure we can find something to talk about.” “Sure.” Anna turned to him with only a shrug. “Like how you’re gonna explain the fact that you were all over some other woman.” “I was not..” “Save it.” Anna snapped. “I’m neither blind nor stupid Mister Cross. Come on. I promised Lou I’d get you two home, that’s what I’m going to do.” Turning her mount around she hid a smile from them and urged the horse into a gallop tearing out of the yard a few strides in front of them. Seeing the barely suppressed smile Kid frowned at Buck, “What’s she up to?” “Making me miserable.” Buck grumbled. “She’s probably pissed that we stayed for that stupid dance and now I get to spend the next few days with a grouchy, miserable woman who’s gonna make me suffer every inch.” “At least she’s not going to hang you.” Kid shrugged. “I have a feeling she rescued us from a fate worse than death.” “Maybe.” Buck shrugged in the moonlight. “You know anything about getting back into a woman’s good graces? You should you’ve gotten on Lou’s bad side more than once.” “Flowers work.” Kid smiled softly. “Course sometimes groveling is the only way to go. If that don’t work, you’re out of luck, I can kiss Lou into submission or forgiveness, you on the other hand have refused to even so much as kiss her until you’re sure that she wants you..” “Do not remind me.” Buck declared. “I may be a fool but I’m fast losing my patience.” “Come on, the rate she’s going she’ll be half way home before we catch up.” With a nudge Katy broke into a run and headed back for town with a half grin. Buck was in deep and he’d have to figure out a way out on his own.   Sitting on his bay Buck stared at the house in front of him, after four days on the road with a very angry Anna he was glad to get home, if for no other reason than he could escape to the fields if need be. “Anna?” Buck started. “I’ve got work to do.” Anna turned to him with a lifted eyebrow. “I’ve got to clean out the house.” “Oh?” Buck sighed and glanced at Kid as Anna dismounted and threw the reins at him before stomping to the house. “She hasn’t let up yet.” “I don’t know what to tell you.” Kid grinned at him as Lou stepped out into the sunshine a bundle in her arms. “I do know if you don’t hurry up and marry her, you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life.” “We agreed that we’d take things slow..” “You’ve been taking them slow. She probably thinks you’ve changed your mind..” “I haven’t.” Buck snapped sharply, instantly regretting his tone with his friend. “I just want her to be sure that she’s not just grateful for my help.” “I’d say she’s made up her mind about that if her performance at the social was any indication.” Kid paused as Lou smiled at him. Savoring the rush of heat through his body he glanced at his friend, “If I were you I’d think of something and fast otherwise you may not get another chance.” Glancing away Buck kept his agreement to himself. He knew that Anna was probably just pissed off because she’d seen someone else hanging off his arm, although why she would be if she was only his friend bewildered him. Shaking his head he led the trio of horses over to the corral and ground tied them before heading for the house. Hugging Isaac who raced to greet him he listened for a moment as Isaac spoke of the horses and the garden and Aunty Louise coming to the house to have the baby. Before the little boy stopped and waited for a split second. “Ma’s mad at you.” “I know.” “She told Aunty that her idea was dumb and she should never have consider it.” “What idea?” Buck asked after a pause. “I only heard part of it and I was supposed to be sleeping.” Isaac spoke softly with a glance behind him to where Lou and Kid were in quiet conversation. “Aunty Lou said that she should get you alone in a room and make you kiss her. That holding you at knife point was a good idea but dangerous, you were bigger and faster than she is.” “Why were aunty and Ma talking about making me kiss her?” “Cause Momma said you’re too slow. She said she didn’t think you were serious about what you said when you started coming ‘round regularly.” Buck felt a shaft of something tear through him and stared down at the youngster he’d called his from the time he could walk. Slowly he started to smile, “You think you could go ask Uncle Kid if you could go with them for a while. I need to talk to Momma.” “I guess so.” Isaac looked at the man he idolized and smiled. “Just don’t get her too mad, she’s supposed to bake a cake today.” “I promise I won’t make her too mad.” Buck smiled and ruffled his hair. “Now go on with you.” Darting off the little boy raced over to his favorite uncle and spoke to him. When Kid glanced at Buck sharply, he shrugged. He’d come up with something he just had to make it work.   Fuming at the man, Anna stomped about the kitchen making the cake she’d promised Isaac days before when Buck had left. Glancing out the window she frowned as Isaac crawled into Louise’s buckboard and sat down between them. “Where is he going?” She whispered and reached for a towel as the door opened and Buck stepped inside. “Where’s Isaac going?” “Over to Kid and Lou’s for the night.” Buck replied. “He never asked me.” Anna declared. “He knows he’s not allowed to go anywhere..” “I told him he could go.” Buck replied quickly and sidestepped the cutting board that sailed through the air, narrowly missing his head. “You told him he could go? Who the hell do you think you are?” Anna stormed, frustrated beyond endurance. Years of worrying and self-doubt crashed over her, sending waves of fury and emotion against her better judgement and self control. “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re nothing more than a farm hand around here. Remember? You’ve reminded me of it many times. So many times in fact that I’m not sure that I could possibly have forgotten it.” “Don’t start with that routine Annie, you know better than that.” Buck snapped angrily, noting the flashes of lightening in her blue eyes and the pain that clung to her. Maybe he had waited too long, maybe he had killed any emotion she felt for him. “I do!” Laughing humorlessly she shook her head. “How could I know that? I’ve been living day to day with you. You are the one that said taking it slow was a good thing, right?” Cursing the tears that burnt at the back of her lids she waved a hand carelessly in front of Buck. “Well I’m sick of it Buck Cross! I’m going to look ahead, plan a life without you and your pride. So you can go back to having every woman within miles hanging off of you for all I care.” Buck watched her carefully for a second then hid his smile, despite her protests he could easily read the pain that tore through her at the thought of him leaving her. Shaking his head Buck took the steps to stand next to her, a subtle shift of his body would bring them into contact. “I don’t have anyone hanging off of me.” “I’m neither blind, nor stupid.” Anna declared cursing the tears that had slipped past her control. “I saw you with Sara.” “She was a nuisance.” Buck replied softly, honestly. “I don’t know what made me think that Lou was right.” Shaking her head Anna stepped back from him and ran into the edge of the table. “I guess I wanted her to be right, she is after all your friend.” “Are you referring to your little plan to get me to kiss you?” Buck asked with a frown. He had his doubts about it, he didn’t want to have to talk to Lou about talking about his love life. “Who told you?” Anna gasped, fury giving her face a pink flush. “Doesn’t matter.” Buck reached up and removed a tendril of hair from her tear soaked face. “It wouldn’t have worked.” “I’m aware of that.” Anna gasped jerking back from his touch. “Back up.” “Make me.” Buck replied quickly, and raised an eyebrow. He loved her, not for her son, not for her past with his friend but on her own ground, her own merits. Waiting for her to come to him and nearly killed him, but if he had to make her see what he felt then he was up to the challenge. “Go to hell.” Anna snapped and swung at him, hardly surprised to see him catch her hand in mid-blow and trapping it against his chest. “I’ve been there before.” Buck whispered softly, leaning down so that his lips were only a hairs breath away from hers. “I don’t want to go back.” “Tough.” Anna struggled in vain as he moved closer, moving one booted foot between hers. “Please Buck, move back.” She pleaded, the warmth of his body curling temptingly around her, making her forget that she was supposed to be angry at him. “I can’t.” Buck replied against her lips. “There’s nowhere to move to.” Licking at her bottom lip he groaned softly when she opened her mouth to protest and took advantage to deepen the kiss, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout his body, even as he pulled her closer. A part of his mind recognized the softness, the yielding in her body as she responded to him, making him loosen his grip on her hands, which snaked up to curl around his neck. Tracing her curves he groaned when his hand brushed against her hip before moving slightly to come up and unbutton the top buttons of her blouse. “Sweetheart tell me to stop if you don’t want this now.” He whispered drawing back. “I can’t.” Anna looked at him seriously. “I’ve wanted you too long Buck. Please, just give me this once, let me have this before you leave.” She pleaded a desperate tone to her voice. Shaking his head slightly Buck dropped a quick kiss on her lips, “I’m not going away. I’ve loved you too long to walk away from you.” “Then why?” Anna stared at him as he smiled at her and moved to pick her up. Her arms automatically circled his neck as he swept her into his arms. “You know why.” Buck replied dipping his head to steal another kiss before he lifted her into his arms and started down the hall to her bedroom. Clinging to Buck Anna had to admit she did know, had always known why he’d kept his distance. Snuggling her face into his neck she sighed, despite her history she had to make him see that she loved the man who held her, not some illusion she’d created out of grief.  Yes she had loved Ike, but she realized now that she’d loved him with all the love of a girl and the man who held her needed the love of a woman, the love she felt now. Looking into his eyes she searched for the awareness that she sought and smiled when she found it. Despite his fears, Buck knew and accepted that she loved him it was in the black depths of his eyes, in the gentle way he touched her as he set her down next to the bed.     Chapter Fourteen Cody rode up the driveway and pulled up in front of the small house before dismounting. Glancing around he noted the horses in the corral, the field behind the house had been harvested and off in the distance he could hear chickens clucking. “Good morning.” Turning at the voice he smiled at Louise. “Morning Lou. You’re looking good these days.” “Come in for coffee.” Lou said. “Kid’ll be up shortly and so will Isaac.” “Isaac’s here?” Cody frowned. “Something happen?” “Buck and Anna needed some time to work out some misunderstandings.” Lou explained closing the door behind them and ushering him into the kitchen. “Buck will be by today to pick up Isaac.” “You sure?” “Yes.” Lou smiled. “I have a feeling those two just needed to air out some things, but they’ll be fine.” “How’re they doing anyway?” Cody asked settling at the table. “When I left Buck was barely talking to her.” “He lives out at her place.” Lou said starting breakfast. “Has for nearly a year now.” “What else have I missed by being gone?” Shaking his head he grinned at Lou. “So you finally let Kid get some work done I see.” “We got a good crop this year. Next years going to be even better.” “How do you figure?” “Anna and I bought a parcel of land so that we could run cattle on it. Between their place and ours there’s nearly a thousand acres.” With a careless shrug she grinned and broke a couple eggs into a bowl. “You’ll have to take a ride around the spread sometime while you’re here.” “How’s Rachel and Teaspoon? I was in town but didn’t seen them.” “They’re headed for Sweetwater. Rachel wanted to see an old friend who’s in town so Teaspoon said he’d escort her.” “Hey Cody.” Kid’s drawl had the man turning to face the newest body in the room. Cody smiled at his friend then frowned, “When did you start doing laundry?” “This is Grace.” Kid smiled softly at the bundle he held and glanced at Cody. “My daughter.” “Oh God! Let me see.” Cody said walking over to gaze down at the little girl who lay sleeping in her father’s arms. “She’s beautiful. Gonna be a heartbreaker someday.” “She already is.” Kid whispered before turning to his wife. “Any word from Anna and Buck?” “Nothing yet. Probably still at each other’s throats.” Lou replied turning back to her cooking. “As mad as Anna was yesterday I thought she was going to kill him.” “Sometimes though the worst fight always brings the sweetest rewards.” Kid reminded her gently. “They’ll be over before long.” “I hope so.” Cody glanced between is two friends and shrugged, he didn’t understand everything that went on and something told him he didn’t want to know what they were talking about this time. “So you heard from Jimmy lately?” “Yeah he’s in some hell hole working as the Marshall.” Kid replied. “He writes every once in a while. How about you? How long you staying?” “I’m supposed to be meeting someone here.” Cody leaned back in his chair, a maturity to him that hadn’t been there before. “Someone from my past.” “Oh?” Lou raised an eyebrow. “What’s he like?” “She.” Cody smiled. “She’s a handful, but she’s nice.” “When she coming?” “She should be here tonight actually. When she gets here I’m going to be heading to New York for a special meeting. Army scout thing.” “Good for you.” Lou said as Isaac walked into the room and settled at the table.     Shifting slightly Buck woke and glanced around, something wasn’t right. He wasn’t in his bedroom, although the bed beneath him was soft and comfortable, it was the warmth at his side that gave him a start until he realized that it was Annie laying sleeping soundly. Glancing at her he studied her face in the shaft of sunlight and sighed, he loved her desperately and knew just as the sun rose he would never get enough of her. His thoughts drifted to his best friend and he sighed, Ike may have loved Anna the girl, but Buck loved the woman she had become. One that was strong enough to go against everyone to take what she wanted from life, strong enough to face raising her son without a father alone, unmarried and unashamed of it. Strong enough to have a half-blood under her roof, eating at her table, sleeping in her bed. Pulling her closer to him he smiled into her hair, soon he’d have to go get Isaac but for now he’d enjoy just holding her. “Morning.” Anna’s voice had him glancing down to smile into her eyes. “Morning.” Buck whispered an stole a quick kiss, “I’d better get dressed.” “Isaac’s fine over at Kid and Lou’s. Let him stay a while longer.” She yawned and stretched out against his body, drawing a strangled moan from him. Smiling up at him she winked. “So since we’ve got a few hours before we go and retrieve our son, what do you think we should do?” “I’ve got a couple of ideas.” Buck shrugged, “But I’ve got something to ask you first.” “Sure.” Anna frowned. “Ask away?” “Marry me?” Anna stared at him for a split second then grinned, “I thought you’d never ask. Yes!” Shrieking in surprise when he rolled pulling her on top of him as they got tangled in the sheet she laughed at his sudden fierce expression. “I love you Buck Cross.” “I love you to Anna McSwain.” Buck whispered. “And I’m glad that you’re here.” Raising up he drew her back into the passion from the night before with a simple kiss, his hand trailing across her naked flesh even as the sun worked it’s way higher into the sky.   Epilogue   Standing on the bank of the creek Anna watched the flow of the clear water even as the first few flakes of snow began to swirl around her and smiled. Despite the chill in the air and the fast approaching storm, she was happy. Today was Christmas, and more importantly her one year anniversary. Lifting her hand she smiled at the simple band of gold that decorated her hand a feeling of peace in her heart. Buck had placed that band on her hand with such tenderness, the look in his eyes so warm and tender and filled with such love that she’d wept as he bent to kiss her gently. A similar band decorated his hand, and although they had little time for a honeymoon, Kid and Lou had kept Isaac for four days so that they could have some time to themselves, now a year later she sighed into the wind. Buck and Isaac were due back from the Rocking T ranch any time but she wanted this time to herself for several reasons. Smiling she glanced around, the farm was growing faster than she could have ever hoped, in fact they were looking at expanding in another year. All her hard work was paying off, and she had a man she loved to hold her tonight when they went to bed. More than that was her secret, the present she wanted to give him that lay snuggled within the warmth of her body. Hearing hoof beats she turned to watch the men in her life walking their horses up the drive and laughed softly as Buck dismounted to walk the few feet to her and bend down to kiss her passionately. “Your brothers and father are coming soon. Adrian’s decided to bring his girl and Michael is insistent about looking at the layout of the place.” Buck smiled down at his wife. “And I’ve got plans for this evening so they’re going to have to sleep in the loft.” “I like the sounds of that.” Anna smiled at him and turned to her son who raced up to hug her tightly. “Hi baby, what are you so happy about?” “Nothing.” Isaac smiled at her and ran off to tend his pony. “Allen gave him a bull calf for him to raise. He’s as proud as a body can be.” Buck explained and glanced down at his wife who was watching him with a mysterious, happy look in her eyes. “What have you been up to?” “Nothing.” Anna laughed softly. “I love you.” “I love you to.” Buck pulled her close to his body and dipped his head, feeling the familiar rush of passion that being able to touch her aroused in his blood. Tracing the contours of her back he silently cursed the fact that they had company coming and pulled back slightly. “Until tonight my love.” Smiling secretly Anna nodded and let him move off a short distance, “Darling?” Turning at her voice Buck raised an eyebrow, “Yes?” “Merry Christmas.” “Happy anniversary.” Buck replied and headed back for his horse. “By the way, do you want a son or daughter?” Anna asked softly, laughter in her tone. She smiled happily when he froze and turned to face her and incredulous look on his face mixed with confusion. “Why?” Moving closer to him she moved up onto her toes and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Because in a little under seven months, I’m going to have a baby.” Dropping back on her heels she stepped back and faced him squarely. They hadn’t spoken of children but she had longed for a child of his, a part of his blood that she could nurture and care for as much as he cared for Isaac. Stunned disbelief gave way to happiness as Buck stared at her and he lifted her in his arm with a shout of happiness. Laughing he whirled her around before setting her down on her feet and kissing her roughly. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Anna smiled at him. “Then you’re happy about it?” “I’m ecstatic.” Buck grinned. “Wait until I tell everyone.” Shaking her head Anna glanced down the drive, “You won’t have long to wait. Looks like everyone’s on their way.” “I love you.” Buck whispered hugging her tightly before heading for the house, his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders. “Merry Christmas.” Stepping with him onto the porch Anna watched the families coming toward them and glanced at her husband a moment before she glanced across the northern pasture to sigh, “Thank you Ike.” She thought. “Please be happy wherever you are.” When the wind curled around her, lifting her hair and caressing her cheek she hid her smile, something told her that Ike was happy, and that he had given his blessing. Hugging her husband she greeted everyone warmly before ushering them inside, this was truly a time of blessings and she counted everyone of them with joy and gratitude. <>  Email Destardi HOME