1864
Louise stared out the window at the darkness that had fallen. Downstairs she could hear the others as they talked, hear their soft voices and it soothed her frayed nerves. Nothing however could bring her from the depths of her thoughts, her agony.
Another year with no child between them, without an heir. Kid's love never faltered, never faded, it was as strong now as the day they'd first confessed their feelings. Still, Lou wondered if he knew if he understood the emptiness that lay within her heart.
The soft cry of a baby drew a tearful smile from her, but she didn't move from where she lay on their bed. What use was there to go downstairs, to join Buck and his wife in their joy when all she saw, all she felt was another drop of worthlessness? What good was a woman who couldn't give her husband a son?
1869
Lou sat staring out over the farm yard. She smiled at the small dark haired little girl that raced with her brother past the chickens. The sight of Buck and Kid in the corral was as welcomed now as it had been the day Buck had shown up distraught with two small children in toe.
A warm loving smile crossed her face as she watched Kid shed his shirt as he struggled to finish the corral fence. They had stock coming in soon and he needed it finished before the stage line showed up.
She waved at the men as they waved at her and eased back in the rocking chair. The faint but distinctly haunting cry of a baby echoed in heart as she turned to the empty cradle in the corner of the porch. From within the cool interior of the house she could hear Rachel softly singing to her three month old son as she suckled him. Pain crept through her at the soft sound and she struggled not to cry. Yet another year gone and no baby - but maybe if she kept her faith.
1870
The giggles from the spare bedroom pulled Lou from a light sleep. She glanced around the room and sat up to stretch. Ten years married without a child and yet Kid's love was still as strong now as it was the day they'd married. The house was filled with love, with laughter as their 'children' played.
Buck's son and daughter were the first, followed by several orphans and finally the enfant daughter of dear friend had warmed their house. Still, Kid was without a son of his own, without a child of his blood - but he never complained.
Lou stood and walked to the window to stare out over the yard. Children raced about, past the corrals full of horses, past the men working in the sun. Rachel and Emma sat in the shade of a tall tree and yelled directions, their husbands obeyed without thought. A slow grin crossed Lou's face as she watched Teaspoon and Sam struggle not to anger their wives. She laughed at the fussing of Teaspoon over a very pregnant Rachel and wrapped her arms around herself. If only she could understand, could feel that concern, that privilege. Longing, strong and biting tightened within her heart and she shuddered and turned away.
1872
The giddiness and happiness that settled in her heart bubbled and seemed to overflow as she left the doctor's office. As she strolled down the wooden sidewalks she nodded to friends, associates.
Rachel waved from the school house steps and she waved back but didn't stop walking. Her hands pressed to her stomach she hurried past the final buildings to the wrought iron fence that surrounded the graveyard and slipped into it. As she walked along the path she noted the names, the dates of the dead. Still she could not bring herself to feel anything but happiness.
Finally she stopped, knelt next to the stone cross with a simple name carved into it. "Old friend, you once told me that we were blessed. That those of us who had love could have everything we desired. I didn't believe you, Noah, didn't understand what you knew. Now I do. If it's a boy, I'm going to name him Noah after you." She whispered as she traced over the carved letters. "After one of the blessings in my life."
She rose and turned to stare at the man standing by the gate. His blue eyes full of concern, of love, and worry. Slowly, a smile crept over her features as she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck.
Lou pressed kisses along his face and laughed as her husband's arms tightened around her. When he set her on her feet she stared into his eyes, "He was right you know?"
"Who?"
"That preacher in Davenport," Lou clung to him. "We're blessed, and I've been taking it for granted."
"Yeah? Seems to me you've been - " Kid started.
"Jealous? Angry? Guilty?" Lou flushed slightly "Maybe, but then I guess I didn't know or want to believe that blessing come when they're supposed to."
"Really?"
"Really." Lou whispered and led him from their friend's resting place.
1925
Lou stood next to the wrought iron fence that surrounded the graveyard, her dark haired streaked with grey, her hands calloused and gnarled. Fire and passion still danced in her eyes as she moved past the friends, the townsfolk that had gathered to kneel next to the grave.
She pressed a trembling hand to the freshly covered grave and sobbed quietly. "You were my greatest blessing," She whispered "My greatest blessing and my most beloved curse. Wait for me Kid, let me count my blessings just once more before I come to you."
She climbed slowly to her feet and stared down at the fresh grave of her husband before she turned and walked with her son back to the buggy that was parked close to the fence. From the seat she stared out over the rich land that they'd made their own and sighed. As she closed her eyes she lifted her face to the sun, the wind brushed over her skin and a soft laugh drifted around her. Her blessing had come full circle - and she was glad.