Prologue

Sitting on the back porch of the Rock Creek Station Buck Cross stared out at the corral where several horses stood milling about. Sighing, he plucked at the grass that grew along the edge of the porch his thoughts drifting back along the trail that he and the others had just ridden back along.
Seeing Ike with Sara had really brought home just how much he’d ignored his best friend. He’d been blind to the fact that Ike liked taking Wellsburg runs, and would often take a run that coincided with days off so that he could spend them there. Remembering the often quiet desperation Ike had before he’d left when his friend had approached him, Buck felt his spirits sink a little lower, Ike had tried to get through to him, he’d just refused to listen.
Thinking of the young dark haired beauty Ike called his; Buck could feel the resentment building, it was easier to blame her and her interfering than face his own feelings of guilt. She’d come between them, something that he would never have believed could ever happen considering how close he and Ike were.
With a few pretty words, and a couple of smiles Ike had forgotten his friends, his family for some girl.  Granted she worked hard, and didn’t seem to mind living the life of a way station manager, but still, she wasn’t the girl for Ike.  He needed someone softer, more gentile than a rough-riding girl who reminded him so much of Lou.
Probably drove poor Ike crazy with her demands on him, wanting him to carry more weight around the place, doing her share of the chores and such.  But if that was what Ike wanted then he wouldn’t stand in his way, he’d be damned if he set foot in that house again. If Ike wanted to see him he could come to Rock Creek to visit, and if he didn’t then it just went to prove that Buck was right, Sara Wilson McSwain was nothing if not trouble.
“Hey Buck you’re up.” Cody’s voice had him gritting his teeth and glancing up.
“Fine.” Rising Buck headed for the barn to saddle up his horse. Mounting up he waited for the rider to come through, taking the pouch and headed for Saint Joe, glad it wasn’t the other direction. Feeling the prick of his conscious at the thought, he shoved it aside and focused on his run, ignoring the quiet little voice in his head telling him he was wrong.
 
Chapter One

“Go on, have fun and we’ll see you in the fall.” Sara waved at Kid as he led three horses forward. Lou looked slightly uneasy at the prospect of spending several months with Rachel, Teaspoon and their new baby.

“Are you sure. I mean there’s a lot of work to be done before we send the herd to market.” Lou frowned as she stared at her husband putting their eldest son on his own horse, and the little girl on her’s so they could double to Sweetwater.
“Louise, go don’t worry about the herd Migiferd will buy them, it’s only the haying that needs to be concerned over and it’s not for months. Give me a chance to have my husband to myself for a few weeks. I was so looking forward to catching him alone every now and then. Besides the two boys will be here. They can pull their own weight.” Sara said as Ike exited the house and headed for where the two women were standing in conversation.
“Alright, I’ll go! It’ll be nice to get away even if I don’t think it’s a good idea. Still Kid has been after me to go see Teaspoon and Rachel’s new baby and I want to be able to spend all the time I want with him.”Lou laughed at Ike as he walked up. “Just so you know Ike, I don’t know how much work you’re gonna get done what with the plans Sara has for you.”
*That’s okay. I’ve got plans for her.* Ike smiled and pulled his wife close to him with a firm grip. *Besides you two need a break, when was the last time either of you spent more than a few hours with your husband?*
“Too long.” Kid replied walking up. “Come on Louise, lets get a move on. The kids are already mounted up and waiting.”
“I still can’t believe you’ve got toddlers on horseback. What if something happened?” Sara fretted as she smiled at Kid who wrapped an arm around Lou’s shoulders.
“Sara, I love you dearly but just forget about it. We’ll see you in September.”
“See you in September.” Sara waved as Lou, Kid and their children rode out of the yard at a trot. Standing watching them until they’d faded from sight she sighed, it seemed so strange to have them gone.
*They’ll be fine. Now then the kids are sleeping, there aren’t any disasters happening so how about a nap?*
Sara smiled and turned in her husband’s arms. “Now there’s an idea. Care to walk a lady to her door?”
Laughing Ike swung Sara into his arms and headed for the house at a jog, closing the front door carefully he carried her upstairs to their bedroom door and shut out the world for an hour or so.


“Sooner or later you’re gonna have to face it.” Laura Greye Cross spoke softly as she sat working on a needlepoint project after the evening meal. “In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never once said anything that would convince me that you’ve forgotten him. Buck he’s your best friend, you love him don’t you think you should go see him?”
“I can’t.” Buck muttered as he poured a cup of coffee and moved to sit next to his wife on the settee.
“Why?” Laura paused in her ministration.
“Because then I’d have to deal with her, with my own shortcomings.” Buck growled amazed at the hostility he still felt at the thought of the woman who he’d managed to convince himself had stolen Ike away from him and the guilt that followed at that line of thinking.
“You’d rather just sit here and slowly go insane with curiosity.” Laura chided him gently.
“You don’t understand.” Rising Buck started to pace. “I’ve blamed her for so long now. I mean she came between Ike and I when we were express riders. One minute Ike was there for me, we were like brothers. The next, he’d vanished without explanation and no one seemed to know why or where he’d gone. Then we found out and I realized that I’d known all along, or would have if I’d listened. Ike told me he’d met someone, but I ignored it, hoped and prayed it would go away only it didn’t. And in the end I lost out because of my pride. I guess I just wanted to blame someone other than me, and Sara McSwain was an easy target.” Stopping next to the window Buck stared out at the bustle of Rock Creek Nebraska, “Guilt and bitterness are bitter pills to swallow Love, and I haven’t been able to swallow them.”
“Then seeing them, telling him might put your mind at ease. It won’t hurt you to do that Buck. Rather than blame her, or yourself face this and lets move on. He’s your best friend, you can’t go the rest of your life avoiding him.”
“I know.” Buck stared out the window and sighed. How did he face her, when he could barely face himself? Glancing at the silver star that he wore pinned to his shirt he sighed, one gunshot too many had made him lose his taste for the job and he wanted a change of pace, but would going to see his best friend do it? Could he forgive himself for driving Ike into Sara’s arms? He didn’t know, but it was past time that he tried to find out.
“Buck?” Laura’s soft question voice had him turning from the window.
“I’m still here Baby, just thinking is all. I’m gonna go see Marshall Jackson, tell him I’m quitting. It’s high time I faced my ghosts, faced the anger that I have held onto all this time. We’ll leave in a week.”
“I’ll have things ready to go.” Laura said and listened to her husband’s retreating footsteps as he left the room. Perhaps this trip would allow him to find some semblance of peace.


Watching the sun’s pale fingers creep across the land, Buck Cross smiled, below him lay the sprawling expanse of his best friend’s ranch. The lush pastures and forests rolled across the hills eagerly, growing herds of beef cattle and horses grazing the growth of a new season, fattening for winter.
“Morning.” A sleepy, feminine voice whispered across the morning air, disturbing its peace.
“Morning.” Buck replied before turning to face the scene below him. It didn’t seem that long ago, he was bidding his friend goodbye as he headed back to the express station. Stilling the ache of time and distance he realized he hadn’t even bid him goodbye when he’d drifted just after the start of the war. He’d bid Rachel, Teaspoon and Noah goodbye, but somehow he hadn’t wanted to say it to his best friend so he’d ridden north away from everything a week after Kid and Lou had ridden out to Virginia.
“Doesn’t seem that long ago we were express riders. Seems like it was yesterday that we followed him here.”
“In a way it was. It was yesterday, only it was in your memories not in real life.” Laura Cross whispered moving to sit next to her husband. “But we’re here now, and I think its past time, Love. You need to see him.” Pausing she moved forward to sit on the wagon seat next to him. “Why haven’t you contacted him before now? I’m sure he would have loved hearing from you?”
“Didn’t want to face her.” Buck replied shaking out the reins to the team he drove, his mind drifting to the dark haired woman that Ike had married, that had replaced him in Ike’s heart. He’d always known that it would be a unique woman to hold Ike’s heart, and Sara was amazing, but she’d become the priority in Ike’s life and it had bothered him.
Shaking her head, Laura fell silent as the wagon rolled under the archway that heralded the entry way to the McSwain Cattle Company, the double M brand standing out against the dawn sky. The tiny cabin had been replaced by a towering mansion of stone and logs. Massive stone columns held up the veranda roof and the intricate metal railing wound around the porch, holding up a hand carved balcony. Large picture windows framed the front doors, the sunlight glinting off them sparkled like sequins on black velvet, the shadow of the draperies hid the interior of the house as the men rode up. Tall trees flanked the house, shading it with their branches and lining the front stoop with their shadows.
Another house, more spread out lay within shouting distance from the larger house. Flower pots hung from the eves, and a swing sat untouched on the porch the chain glistening in the morning sun. Smaller more refined picture windows raced along the front of the house, their faces glistening and polished even as they blended into flower boxes that sat below them filled with roses.
The barn had grown as well, now it was a massive structure sprawled out along the ridge, the massive doors closed against the night. Corrals and pens stood off the side of the building, their well maintained railings keeping in the animals awaiting breaking or branding.
Seeing a light in the window of the main house, Buck pulled up at the hitching rail and swung down, followed by Laura. They glanced over at a bunkhouse as two men stepped out, a black man and a Mexican youth stared back at them for a second before moving off into the gathering light to feed and water the animals.
“I sure wish everyone were here to see this.” Buck mused as he stared at the opulence surrounding him.
“What’s it look like honey?” Laura asked hearing the awe in Buck’s voice as she climbed over and held onto his arms as he lifted her down.
“It’s huge Hon, the cabin I remember is gone, now there’s a massive stone mansion with a winding balcony, and a stone walkway surrounded by a white picket fence. Another house stands off to the right, its still large but not as high as the first. Must be the foreman’s house.” Buck said listening as his two children shifted in their sleep in the back of the wagon. “The barn is about three times the size of the old one and there’s cattle in the pasture behind the house Laura, more beef than I’ve ever seen in one place in my life.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Laura breathed as she took a step forward. “Who were those people that just came out?”
“Ranch hands.” Buck replied. “Probably going to work. You wait here with the children I’m gonna go see if Ike or Sara’s awake.” He patted her hand gently before heading up the walk to the front door. Pausing he swallowed hard, the knot in his gut was getting harder, and this wasn’t easy but he had to do it. He’d wandered long enough, he needed and wanted to be with his family.  Raising his hand he knocked gently and waited glancing around him at the horses milling about in the corral and a handsewn American flag fluttered above the barns.
Hearing the door open he turned and froze as he stared into a pair of blue eyes surrounded by dark lashes. Swallowing he refused to back down as the young woman stared at him for a moment with a confused look on her face.
“Yes?”
“Sara?”
“Yes, that’s me.” Sara frowned at the handsome mixed blood man in front of her as something struck her as familiar. “Do I know you?” She asked quietly, wondering if she should get Ike who was out in the barns with an ailing mare.
“Not for a long time.” Buck replied softly then stepped back when the woman smiled.
“Who are you looking for? And who’s that with you? If you’d like to wait for a moment or two, ” Sara opened the door a little further. “I’ll go get my husband.” Hurrying toward the barn she frowned, something about the man standing on her porch reminded her of a man she hadn’t seen in years, a man whom Ike had kept alive in memory over the years by talking about him.
“Thank you.” Watching Sara walk away Buck sighed, he hadn’t really expected a warm welcome and he hadn’t gotten one. Hurrying back to the wagon he sighed. “She said she’d go get Ike, I’ll grab the kids if you want to wait and we’ll walk up together.”
“Okay.” Laura waited while Buck went to wake up the kids, hearing the two moving around in the back of the wagon she smiled and patted her tummy where her pregnancy was just starting to show. “Looks like your sister and brother are awake.” She laughed at the kick she got seemingly in response.

“IKE!” Sara hurried toward the barn, making sure he knew she was coming. If she didn’t he’d have her pinned to the wall and that wasn’t what either of them needed, although it was what she wanted. Opening the door she walked inside and down the long corridor to where Ike had risen to his feet and was watching for her.
*What is it Love?*
“Company. I think Buck’s here.” Sara said and watched Ike’s face pale. “Hon, you okay?”
*Yeah, it’s just been years since we’ve seen him. Thought him dead.* Ike replied and walked up to where she stood, wrapping an arm around her waist he started back for the house with her a smile creeping across his face. *Still I’m glad to see him, even if he does owe us an explanation about why he hasn’t bothered to come by before now.*
“Be nice to him. The pretty young woman who is with him might not appreciate you killing him.”
*He got married?* Ike paused in his steps before shaking his head and ushering her out of the barn.
“I think so.” Sara said as she closed the doors and followed him, her hand automatically going into his.
“Ike! It’s good to see you.” Buck called as he watched the other man walk up the steps. Seeing the happy grin on Ike’s face Buck felt his heart kick as the man’s obvious pleasure with the woman at his side struck him square in the chest. Ike was happy, and more importantly he was loved if Sara’s expression was anything to go by.
*It’s good to see you. I’m glad to see you’re in one piece, I’ve often wondered how you were doing. Come in. It’s been too long since we’ve spoken.* Ike pulled Buck close in a brotherly hug before releasing him. *Way to long. You’ll have to tell me of your travels.*
Buck glanced at Laura before turning back to Ike and Sara. “Way too long. This is Laura my wife, and our two kids Jenny and Jacob.”
*Pleasure to meet you.* Ike signed to the youths as he closed the door. Leading the way into the house he smiled at the amazement on their faces. The cabin’s interior had long since been replaced instead by a wide open hacienda style interior. A small stairwell dipped into the main living area, that housed a fireplace, several small tables, a settee, and several overstuffed chairs that faced the windows. Flowers lay on the tables in decorative jars, and a bow and arrow set hung above the fireplace, flanked by Ike’s old colt and a Mochilla.
Glancing at the stairwell that led upstairs Buck was amazed at the richly carved wood that trailed up to a landing that encircled the whole downstairs. Doors stood periodically around the landing, their secrets kept silent by their paneling, chandeliers hung along the landing to light the way in the evening, and multi point horns decorated the banister.
“Wow!” Buck breathed glancing at Ike. “A definite improvement over the cabin.”
*If you think this is impressive, you should see the kitchen. Sara insisted that the room be well stocked.* Ike declared smiling as he led his friend into the room in questions. A massive cast iron stove sat in the room, a china cabinet stood along one wall with a familiar patterned set of dishes in it. A massive sink, and pump sat in the corner under several lamps, and cupboards flanked the remaining wall until they reached a door that Buck opened to reveal a walk in pantry the likes of which he’d never seen. Shelves sat full of canned and dry goods, flour, sugar, coffee, and more.
“You expecting an army?” He  teased.
*No. Usually everyone eats in here, so it just makes sense to have all the supplies handy. She’s been hoping that you would come by and wanted to be prepared.* Ike shrugged. *Old habits die hard.*
“Where is she by the way?” Buck asked only too aware that the woman in question had disappeared.
*Probably gone to wake the boys and Emma.* Ike replied. *She’s had a hard time lately.*
“Nothing serious I hope.” Buck straightened slightly and glanced uneasily at Laura who was waiting patiently for him.
Ike shrugged , *Early stages of pregnancy. She doesn’t handle morning sickness well.*
“Congratulations are in order then.” Buck smiled. “You must be overjoyed.”
*Thank you.* Ike shrugged. The old fear still haunted him when he thought of how easily life could be given and taken away. The memory of their first child being lost held his mind and a distinct unease captivated his soul at the very mention of another child on the way.
“So what have you been doing with yourself other than dancing with your wife?” Buck asked. “You looking to hire anybody?”
*Raising cattle and horses. Rachel and Teaspoon come up once or twice a year to see us. I’ve even got a letter from Cody but nothing from Noah and his wife, at least not since they moved to Saint Joe a year ago.* Ike smiled pouring coffee. *Guess they’re doing okay. I hope so anyway.*
“This war’s been over for years, but it’s going to be a long time before the country’s healed. I saw Cody about six months back, he seemed to be in one piece.” Buck said softly as he studied the layout of the house. “He was talking to a handsome woman with blue eyes in Ohio.”
*Glad to hear it.* With a shrug Ike settled at the long table surrounded by high backed chairs. *How long you planning on being around?*
“I figured we’d stay till we wore out our welcome.” Buck stated quietly as the sound of movement from upstairs reach them.
*Good. I’ve got plenty of work around here that needs doing, you want to help out you’re more than welcome. I’ll pay you going rates.*
“Sounds fair. There a school nearby? These two need to start their figuring and such.” Laura spoke up after Buck had translated what was said. “Education’s important to me.”
“We do home schooling.” Sara said as she walked into the room. “The school in Wellsburg doesn’t except children from this far out, it’s too hard on the children to walk to school. Not that I’d send them anyway but that’s besides the point. We take turns with the teaching.”
“I used to be a teacher. I’d be happy to do it for you if you want.”
“That would save me a lot of aggravation. I find morning’s to be hardest.”
“I’d be delighted. When do you have classes?” Laura asked. “Course you’ll have to help grade their papers, unfortunately I can’t read anymore.”
“Why?”
“I’m blind.” Laura smiled shakily, almost fearfully as she thought about what their reaction might be. “I can do everything else but I can’t read the written word unless it’s in braille. Now about those classes.”
“What do you mean braille? I’ve never heard of it.” Sara frowned a distinct look of unease on her face.
“Braille is a means of reading that only recently came into use in the United States, I was lucky enough to have an opportunity to attend a prestigious school in Washington just after I was blinded and learned about it. I was a teacher before I married Buck, you’re more than welcome to check my credentials.”
“I’ve got the papers in the wagon if you want them.” Buck started.
“Why don’t you tell me more about your education Laura, I’m sure you’re qualified but frankly I’ve never even heard of a blind teacher before. It must be extremely difficult to do your job without being able to see what the children are doing.”
Grinding his teeth Buck started to rise only to freeze in his seat when Ike glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. Feeling his anger simmering he returned to his seat, intent on hearing Sara out, regretting letting Laura talk him into coming here.
“Not really, just because I can’t see doesn’t mean that I don’t know what’s going on around me. My eyes don’t see but my hearing is perfect, I can hear most everything that goes on around me. I’ve never had any problems with teaching before, even teaching sighted students.” Laura explained quickly, her fingers twisting in her dress skirt. “I’m sure I can do this.”
“Laura’s a very good teacher, she’s done the teaching of our two children.” Buck smiled softly at his wife who sat still in her chair, her teeth biting into her lower lip. “You can check with the school in Davenport, North Carolina. She’s taught there.”
“I’m sure she has.” Sara glanced at Buck, “And I’m just as certain that she would have no reason to lie. Welcome to our humble home Laura, it’ll be a pleasure to have you here.”
“Thank you. Now about those classes?” Laura paused delicately and smiled when Sara laughed.
“Right after breakfast, usually until about lunch time then we let the kids go to the swimming hole or do their chores and such.” Sara explained as she reach for the coffee pot. “If y’all are hungry I’ll start breakfast.”
*You need to stay off your feet.* Ike protested.
“I’ll sit down after I’m done.” Sara smiled at him cheekily and headed for the stove even as he reached out to grab her apron strings and tug on them gently. Swatting at his hand playfully she moved away to start on the eggs.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” Sara asked softly as the children sat down around the table.
*I’ve got to go into town, see Henson about that shipment of lumber that seems to have wondered off.*
“You going to be gone all day?”
Ike nodded, *I’ll leave Manuel and Buck here. I’ll be back soon as I can.*
Smiling Sara settled at the table. “Just take it carefully, I ain’t in no shape to go chasing off after you if you get into trouble.”
*Yes ma’am.* Ike smiled and glanced at the other occupants of the table.  With a barely perceptible shrug he turned his attention to his coffee.
“When you leaving for town?”
“Right after breakfast.” Sara said. “That way you’ll be home before dark!”
*Right after breakfast.* Ike agreed as Sara left the room in a huff.
“Why does she want you home before dark?” Buck asked.
*There was a division of soldiers that went through a few months back, killed one of our neighbors. Sara’s scared it’ll happen to me.* Ike declared finishing his coffee. *Sooner we get back the better it’ll be.*

Chapter Two

Standing in the mill yard Ike ground his teeth together as Henson droned on about the lumber that should have been delivered but hadn’t been until Ike shook his head firmly. *I don’t want excuses, where is my lumber Henson?* he wrote quickly on the slate the man kept for just such an occasion.
“I don’t know.” Henson declared and sighed. “I’ll see if Moody knows.”
*Thanks.* Ike waited for the man to return with his young helper his patience wearing thin.  Standing listening to the two bickering Ike shook his head and swore softly and succinctly. When they approached him he waited for the explanation that he knew would be forthright in coming.
“Moody says the order got mixed up with something else. The lumber’s coming in this morning. I’ll send it right out to your place.”
*You better. I’ve been waiting for that lumber for several weeks now, and frankly I’m not impressed with this delay. If it ain’t at the ranch by dinner time I’ll be in tomorrow to get my payment back, and I’ll take my business elsewhere.* Ike wrote and slapped the slate against the man’s chest as he walked away.
“I’ll be there.” Henson called as Ike McSwain stalked away. Shaking his head he glared at his young coworker, the boy had almost cost him the largest contract in the county. “You’d best come up with that lumber and I mean now. Take it out to the McSwain ranch and for God’s sake boy, don’t delay or you’re gonna find out what my boot feels like.”
“Yes sir.” the boy replied and raced off to hitch up the fully loaded wagon that sat behind the shed.
After he gathered what supplies he needed, Ike headed home with an easy relaxed stride on his horse. Letting his mind wonder he tried not to think of the disappearance of Buck from his life but knew he needed to face it or he’d never be able to understand why Buck had suddenly reappeared.
A distance had developed between them back in 1860 that Ike hadn’t really focused on at the time because he’d had other things on his mind. He could still remember the desperation he often felt when he had to go on runs that took him away from Wellsburg and more importantly Sara Wilson. The few times he’d tried to broach the subject with Buck the other man had shut him out.
That faithful day he’d decided to leave Sweetwater Ike had been torn, his heart told him to go, his head told him to stay. His heart had won out and he’d ridden out to claim his wife. A couple of months later the boys had shown up and he’d nearly lost Sara to her brother’s cruel attentions. That had been the last time he’d seen Buck, the few times he’d gone to Rock Creek Buck had been out on a run or out visiting the reservation.
He’d often wondered why Buck had suddenly seemed to be so busy all of a sudden, then finally he’d given up on trying to figure out the tall half-blood.  Over the coming weeks, what with the distance between himself and Sara and going off to war he’d put the problems with his pseudo brother in the back of his mind. Giving Buck some time would be the best thing, but as the months faded into years Ike had finally come to realize that some problems just wouldn’t solve themselves, but without knowing where Buck was he’d lost hope that the distance could be eliminated.
Seeing the familiar arch that signaled his arrival home Ike smiled and kicked his horse into a gallop. Regardless of how things had gone between himself and Buck, Ike would never say he regretted moving to Wilson Station and staying with Sara McSwain.
Pulling up next to the corrals he hopped down and let the Mexican youth take his horse before he headed for the house, thankful when Sara stepped out onto the porch followed by the children.
“Hi hon,” Sara called with a wave. “You have a good trip?”
*Okay I guess.*
“A wagon load of lumber showed up, the boys put it by the barn. With any luck we won’t need another shipment before spring.” Sara said as their children crowded around their father all wanting to be picked up or given hugs. “Emma don’t do that.” She chided the little girl. “You know better than to reach for Daddy’s gun.”
*You’d best put it away.* Ike said stripping his gun belt off and handing it to his wife. *Wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt.*
“Buck and his family are settled into the bunkhouse, they’ll be joining us for dinner. If you want to wash up Love, I’ll set the table. Kids go on help your Pa with washing up.” Sara said as she hugged Ike before turning to head back inside.

Standing at the window Buck watched Ike interact with his family and sighed, the caring boy he’d been had grown into a strong willed, compassionate man who still cared about those that were closest to him. Smiling sadly he watched Ike kiss Sara passionately before hoisting his daughter onto his shoulders and heading for the washtub.
“You’re still worried about it aren’t you?” Laura asked joining him at the window.
“I’m glad to see him, but I just can’t bring myself to tell him..”
“Give it time. He doesn’t seem like he’s in too much of a hurry for us to leave.” Laura patted his arm lovingly. “Now you’d best help the kids wash up then we’re going to go have dinner.”
“Yes dear.” Buck said and ushered his two children out the door.

Sitting down to dinner Buck glanced down the table at the long line of chairs and frowned. He hadn’t realized this morning just how many chairs there were, but now it looked like an army ate at this table regularly.
“How many people do you have here at meal times?” Buck asked with a grin. “From the look of it I’d have to say an army.”
“Oh God no.” Sara gasped and set the youngest into his chair. “There’s the Millers, and their three children, us, sometimes Teaspoon and Rachel so a large table and lots of chairs are a necessity. Ike made this set for us just after Emma here was born.”
“Nice workmanship.” Buck ran a hand across the carved surface in appreciation.
“Pappa, can I have some water please.” Buck’s daughter Jenny asked softly.
“Of course you can.” Laura made to rise only to sink back into the chair when Sara placed a gentle hand on her shoulder before she brought a large pitcher of water to the table and filled the wooden cups that lined the settings. Setting it down at the end she settled next to Ike and relaxed. Turning away from the other woman Sara didn’t notice the scowl on Buck’s face or the way he quickly shielded his emotions from the rest of the people at the table.
Staring at Sara who sat talking in low tones with a dark haired little girl Buck felt his heart leap into his throat with a bitter taste filled his mouth. Sara’s actions had been neither condescending nor malicious and yet they spoke of a tolerance that to him was belittling to his wife. Turning away from her he focused on the change in topic to the ranch’s business ignoring the stab of fury at the dark haired woman sitting so close to his family. 
Turning the conversation to the ranch, Sara noticed neither Buck or Ike mentioned anything to do with the express or the reason that Ike had left Sweetwater. Sighing slightly she shifted in her chair the thought of food repugnant to her as she pushed at the food on her plate.
*Eat.* Ike jabbed her gently in the ribs and pointed to her still full plate. *Unless you’ve been munching already.*
“I’m sorry Hon, I’m just not hungry.” Sara sighed and stifled a slight yawn. “I’m a little tired though. Would you mind if I went and lay down again? I do apologize..”
*Nonsense. Go ahead we’ll manage without you. The kids can do the dishes and Buck and I’ll do the outside chores.* Ike said as Sara rose and shuffled out of the room.
“I thought morning sickness was only in the morning?” Buck inquired.
“Not necessarily Hon. Seems to me she’s just tired, like she’s been doing too much.” Laura stated quietly as she listened to Sara’s tired feet shuffle from the room.
*Every pregnancy is like that. She suffers for the first three months then she’s fine. Course she has her days, and her moods.* Ike declared with a faint smile. *Which is why she’s with child again.*
“I’d say she had help.” Buck declared with a laugh.
“Pappa can I have some more?” Hunter asked of his father. The young boy reached for the plate of food his father passed to him and set to work eating it.
“Looks like he’s got Cody’s appetite.” Buck declared.
*He does eat well. Works hard too. Matthew don’t you start playing with that food. You eat it up or else.* Ike threatened.
“Yes, Pa.” The little toddler sat up to the table and ate his dinner wordlessly, although a look of pure misery remained on his face.
When the meal was done, Laura rose and offered to help with the dishes while Ike and Buck stepped outside to watch the sunset.
“No thank you Ma’am.” Rising Hunter glanced at his sister and brother, “We’ll do the dishes won’t we?”
“But I’d like to help.” Laura protested as the sounds of the table being cleared filled her hearing.
“Maybe next time.” Hunter stated. “Ma’s kinda particular on how she does things, ‘sides you’re a guest in the house. Both Ma and Pa would have our hides if we didn’t do these few things up.”
Sitting on the front porch in the chairs Ike stared at the horses in the corral and listened to the night sounds coming alive as Buck did the same.
“Sure wish Kid and Lou could see this.” Buck murmured. “Course ain’t heard anything since they went to Virginia.”
*They’ll be back middle of September.* Ike signed quickly. *Went to Sweetwater to see Rachel and Teaspoon and help out with the baby.*
“When did they show up?”
“Lou showed up a year before the war ended, Kid a few months after it ended. See they tried to tell Lou that Kid was dead and she refused to believe it. Both Lou and Sara had it rough during the war, what with Lou thinking that Kid was killed and Sara and I well lets just say I didn’t leave under the best circumstances.*
“What happened?” Buck asked a frown marring his face at the thought that his friend had been unhappy. Regardless of how he felt about the whole marriage business, Buck had never wanted Ike to be unhappy with life.
*I left Sara without a single word. See we’d been having some problems and rather than face them I ran. Sara was left alone all that time with the worry and pain from before I signed up.* Ike explained. *It was hard on both of us, neither believed there was anything left to save in our marriage.*
“You came home though?” Buck watched Ike closely and saw the shadows of the war in his eyes and the pain and guilt that had obviously been a big part of his life around the war.
*Sure, because I couldn’t face not coming home. No matter how things had gone I was , and am still in love with my wife.* Ike grinned. *Course that was a big part of why I came home. I had this big idea of tying her up and forcing her to listen to me, but turns out I didn’t need to. It still took time though for us to work out the problems, it was nearly a year before we were back to where we were before her miscarriage.*
“That affected you pretty badly didn’t it?”
Ike nodded and took a drink of his coffee. *It nearly killed both of us.*
“Hey you two, what are you talking about?” Laura’s voice had both men glancing up.
“Nothing much Honey, why aren’t you resting?”
“Was just headed over to the bunkhouse now, I’ll put the children to bed. Whenever you’re ready come in.”
Smiling Buck squeezed her hand and watched her walk away followed quickly by both Jenny and Jacob. “I imagine your kids’ll be in bed before long.”
*Probably already there. Since Ma’s been feeling unwell Hunter figures its his job to put the babies to bed. Wonder what he’s gonna do after this baby’s born.*
“Most likely be just as responsible as he is now.” Buck rose and headed for the bunkhouse. “Good night Ike.”
*Night Buck.*
Rising he headed inside and up the stairs to where the kids slept. Stopping in the doorway he watched Hunter saying prayers with Emma and Matthew before tucking them in. After making sure that Hunter climbed into bed himself, Ike walked down the hall to the room he shared with Sara and opened the door.
Stepping into the room he noted the lantern was still glowing although Sara was stretched out on the bed, her clothes still on although she’d kicked off her shoes. Shaking his head, Ike knelt next to the bed and shook her awake.
*You can’t sleep in your clothes Honey, come on. Lets get you into a nightgown.*
Rising sleepily, Sara sat patiently while Ike undid all the buttons and stripped her down to her camisole and petticoats before tucking her into bed and stripping down to his longjohns before sliding in next to his sleeping wife.
Laying there in the darkness Ike wondered briefly just how long it would take before he and Buck could actually talk about what it was that had come between them.  Sighing he closed his eyes and drifted into a light sleep.

Chapter Three

Sitting watching Buck and Ike working in the corral with a young horse, Sara noted the easy way they worked together and yet they had yet to really set down and talk. Hearing footsteps and the rustle of fabric she glanced up at Laura who walked toward her, the other woman’s pregnancy more pronounced then when she arrived a month before.
“Hey, how are you holding up?” Sara asked as Laura sat down on the swing and set it into a relaxing motion.
“I can’t wait for this baby to be born. With this ungodly heat its hard on a body to carry a baby.” Laura sighed as she patted her rounded stomach.
“I know what you mean. I carried Matthew through the heat of summer and it was harder on me than anything I’ve ever had to endure. Thankfully with this baby it’s not so bad, I haven’t started to show much yet so it makes it a little easier.”
“Ike said you always have a problem with morning sickness, have you tried herbal tea?”
“It’s a nervous condition.” Sara replied. “Just after Ike and I were married, my brother tried to kill me. I fell a long way and in the process lost my baby. Since then with every baby I’ve had this fear that I’m gonna lose it before its born. Old fear and anxiety plays a big part of it. Of course Doc’ll tell you I’m just crazy.”
“It’s understandable. Fear does crazy things to a person.” Laura paused and listened to the soft sigh of the wind in the tall grass, the bubbling of the creek and the bawling of the cattle in the distance. “They need to talk about things.”
“Yes they do.” Sara leaned back in the rocker. “Did Buck say why he didn’t come see Ike before now?”
“I’m not sure it’s my place..” Laura started.
“I’m well aware of it having to do with me. They were closer than brothers before I entered the picture, then there suddenly was someone more important to Ike than Buck. I think there was a lot of resentment there but he could have worked it out.”
“You must love him an awful lot.” Laura commented.
“Who Ike? Why?”
“To live as you do. Most women would have a fit if they had to live the way you do. Before I met Buck I would have screamed and kicked if I’d have had to live anywhere there wasn’t a store within walking distance. Now though, I don’t care as long as Buck and the kids are there I’m happy.”
“I met Ike on a run through to Wellsburg.” Sara smiled as she got lost in the memories. “I don’t know who was more surprised him or I when he rode up and I was waiting with a horse for him. We got to be pretty good friends over the coming weeks that he rode through.” With a self conscious shrug Sara glanced at Laura. “We were lovers long before we were married, I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love and don’t care what folks think.”
“So this is sort of the life you’ve always had, always wanted?”
“It isn’t the life I’ve wanted.” Sara sighed. “It’s the man.”
“I guess that’s what love is. I couldn’t live without Buck, and believe me there’s been times when I thought I’d have to.”
“Where did you come from?” Sara asked quickly. “I mean you and Buck move from?”
“Rock Creek Nebraska.” Laura shifted when Sara gasped. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No. It’s just funny how things come full circle. I was just going to get a pitcher of lemonade, would you like some?”
“Love it.” Laura rose with Sara and they headed inside the house, the sounds of the children laughing echoing across the yard. Pouring a cup of the cold drink, Sara handed it to Laura before pouring one for herself and setting at the table with the stacks of papers to be graded.
“How did you and Buck meet?”
“I met him shortly before Kid and Lou’s wedding, he’d been on a run and his horse had been shot out from under him so he flagged down the stage. I was on that stage, we were both taken captive and left in some miners cabin or something and had to hike back to the station. From the way he spoke of Ike I’d have thought he was dead, that is until recently when I found out that Ike was very much alive.”
“I know. After the shooting, Ike spoke very little about Buck. I always wondered why, but I’ve come to believe very firmly that it was his way of hiding the pain that Buck’s leaving caused.” Sara rested her chin on her fist and smiled sadly. “Ike never really understood how Buck could hold it against him that he’d found happiness, I guess Buck never really forgave Ike for what he saw as his betrayal.”
“Maybe there was more to it than we’ll ever know. I doubt if Buck thought much about it one way or the other when it came time to make his decisions.” Laura mused.
“Perhaps, but I still say they should grow up and confront the past. It isn’t going to do them much good if they won’t talk it out.”
“I agree completely. Makes me wonder why they aren’t talking now, but I have a feeling that they’re just working around the issues. Men can be so foolish at times.” Laura smiled at the patter of feet as the children raced through the house to kitchen and grabbed for the cookie jar that sat on a counter a few feet away. “Lunch won’t be long children, so you’d best not ruin your appetites.”
“No ma’am.” Emma smiled at the young woman who taught her lessons. “We won’t.”
Laughing at the children Sara watched them race out the back door toward the pond. “I swear they have more energy than I’ll ever have.”
“Well we used to have that kind of energy.”
“I know of a couple of places I can find that kind of energy, just can’t speak of it.” Sara murmured and laughed at the flush that climbed up Laura’s face as she laughed with her.
“I’d best get to work on tomorrow’s lessons then.” Laura rose gracefully. “Buck and I won’t be dining with you this evening, we’re having a family supper if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. If that’s what you wish then so be it. We’ll see you first thing in the morning.” Sara watched Laura exit the room and sighed, with a final glance out the window at the children planning a few hundred yards away, she finished her drink and headed for the parlor to have a rest before the men came in to eat.


Dusk was falling when Sara was roused from her nap by a gentle hand. Glancing up at the person standing over her she smiled sleepily at her husband, “Sorry Love, I must have fallen asleep.”
*You obviously needed it Sara. Come on, the kids are fed, bathed and getting ready for bed. I think you should follow in their footsteps. I’ve drawn you a warm bath, there is some tea and biscuits on the table for you to eat then you can go up to bed and sleep as long as you like. I think you should stay in bed for a couple of days. I’ll get the doctor to agree with me, if you don’t.* Ike stared at her as she made to protest.
“But there’s so much work to be done, I should be doing my share.”
*You’re doing more than your share. Carrying that baby’s the most important thing right now for you. I won’t lose you or the baby because you wouldn’t take it easy.* Ike warned sternly.
“Yes dear. I’ll stay in bed tomorrow.” Sara yawned and followed him into the room they’d set up with a tub and a stove for heating the water. Within minutes she was submerged in the warm, sudsy water and Ike had left the room to gather her night clothes. After she’d finished her bath, he sat watching her eat her snacks then ushered her up the stairs, tucked her into bed and blew out the lamp.
Stepping back from the edge of the bed Ike shook his head, despite sleeping all afternoon Sara was sound asleep again, her body relaxed completely, the only sign that she’d been thinking of anything when she fell asleep a slight frown sitting between her eyes.
*Goodnight my love.* Ike signed before dropping a soft kiss on her forehead and heading downstairs to work on the ledger books for a few hours.

Watching the lights go out upstairs Buck sighed and glanced behind him at the slight sounds of his wife putting the children to bed. Turning back to face the main house he noted a single light go on in a room downstairs.
“Looks like someone’s working late tonight.” Buck murmured.
“Probably Ike. I doubt if Sara got much accomplished this afternoon, she slept through the day.” Laura settled next to him. “She’s an amazing woman, this life doesn’t bother her. She’s happy most of the time, doesn’t worry about money, or any of those things I used to. She must really love him to do that.”
“This is her ranch.” Buck straightened out his legs. “Sara ran an express station before her and Ike were married. I doubt if anyone ever thought of it before now, but in a way this is more of an adjustment for Ike than for Sara.”
“Still, to go day in and day out without complaining, to look at someone in the morning light and feel happy that they’re there is something. I hear you moving in the mornings before I’m out of bed and it’s like this warm blanket settles over my heart, I have love. Maybe that’s the most important thing. I can tell by the way she talks of him that she’s very much in love with him, its not just a token emotion for her.”
“That’s the problem.” Buck could feel old hostilities rising. “You see he’s in love with her; and it’s driving me up the wall. How can I have been so stupid to think that I could rebuild a relationship that died years ago? We haven’t been close since the express days..”
“Regardless of that Buck Cross you owe it to yourself and to Ike to try. I’ve been waiting for you to realize that you aren’t going to heal this wound; you’ve let it become festered and now you’re getting eaten away with the bitterness. Either you come to terms with what happened or you don’t. Either way you have to talk to him about it. I won’t stand by and watch you become a shell of a man Buck, I didn’t marry a bitter, self absorbed man and I won’t live with one. You got that Mister Cross?” Laura snapped rising to pace in front of her husband. “It’s up to you.”
“I don’t know how.” Buck replied quickly, a smile drifting across his face at her fury. “I can’t reach him anymore, how do I connect to someone who doesn’t want to be reached?”
“You two have the same problem.” Laura paused and crossed her arms over her chest. “Just do it Buck, before you regret this even more than you already do!”
“Yes dear.” Buck consented a moment before Laura disappeared within the house they now claimed as their own. Turning his attention back to the main house he focused on the memories he’d pushed aside for too long.

“Well boys you find what you were after?” Teaspoon stood in front of the barn, his arms crossed over his chest and an unpleasant look upon his face.

“I guess you could say that.” Kid said swinging down. “We saw Ike.”
“And?” Teaspoon straightened as Rachel and Noah Dixon walked forward. “What was he up to?”
“Running a way station.” Kid glanced at Buck who hadn’t spoken since they’d left Wilson Station. “Seems he got married.”
“And you boys felt the need to go tearing off after him to find that out?” Rachel demanded.
“He should have told us.” Cody snapped swinging down. “Not that I blame him for getting married, but he could have said something.”
“He did.” Teaspoon drawled and pushed his bowler up on his forehead. “You’se just weren’t listening.”
“What do you mean?” Buck demanded.
“You all know Ike left a note for you, only you didn’t bother to read it. You just tossed it at Rachel and left it at that.” With an abrupt nod Teaspoon headed for the bunkhouse.” Serves you right for being left out in the cold. Now then you boys got work to do, best get to it before dinner.”
Amid a chorus of groans from the boys and Lou, Buck turned to watch Teaspoon’s retreating back and felt his heart sink a little lower. The guilt he’d been feeling since they’d left the station was eating a hole in his gut, pushing it aside he focused on the anger at the young woman who’d replaced him in Ike’s life and felt an immediate, and more gratifying sense of purpose at the thought that she was to blame and not him.
Turning back to his horse, he quickly took care of the animal and followed the others toward the bunkhouse, his thoughts on how miserable he wanted Ike to be without him, and not how much he wished he was in Ike’s shoes with a wife and a future ahead of him.
For two weeks after they’d ridden in, Buck tried to be his usual self until that morning when Kid had ridden in with a note for him.
“Hey Buck got a letter for you from Ike.” Kid said handing it to him as he dismounted and led Katy away.
Taking the paper Buck opened it and prayed that it was news of Sara’s demise. Reading the few lines he’d felt only anger and bitterness at the thought that Ike was coming for a couple of days while Sara was in town looking over a contract for horses with the US Army. Crumpling it up he tossed it aside and headed for the barn, damn that man he’d show him. He wouldn’t stick around and wait for Ike to show up. As far as he was concerned Ike had betrayed him, and he didn’t want to admit just how much he’d betrayed his friend by turning a blind eye to his happiness.
Not caring how it looked Buck rode out that night and stayed gone for two weeks, being sure that he’d be gone as long as Ike was there. When he’d ridden back, the boys had looked at him funnily but he’d ignored them and pretended that nothing had happened, despite the guilt and anger he’d felt at avoiding his best friend.
Rising Buck shook his head, he’d done a pretty good job of avoiding his friend for years, now he had to face that he’d been the one that had betrayed the other man. He’d caused the wounds that had festered between them, and put the scars on his soul even as Ike had attempted to reach out to him.
Walking inside the bunkhouse he glanced once over his shoulder at the looming shadow of the main house and felt his broken heart shatter again. He had to find a way to deal with his own shortcomings before he could ask the same of Ike, and somehow he didn’t think that was going to be easy.

Chapter Four

Sitting at the desk in the den Sara stared out the window as she watched her children and Buck’s children playing together so well. Leaning back in the chair she rested a hand on the more obvious swell of her child and sighed, Laura was due within a few days and she still had several more weeks but that didn’t worry her. She could help with Laura’s baby it was the tension that she felt whenever she was in the same room as Buck that caused her some concern.
Rising she walked to the window and stared out, she was neither blind nor stupid. It had only taken her a few minutes to realize that Buck resented her presence in Ike’s life. In fact it had been glaringly obvious that if she’d have disappeared Buck would have been happy about it. It troubled her though that a man she’d only met once before his arrival on her doorstep could hate her so clearly, for so long.

“Thinking that hard will only give you wrinkles.” Laura’s voice had her turning to face the other young woman who was a friend to her.
“Just thinking of your husband.” Sara declared. “ Trying to think of how he could resent and despise me so much when he didn’t even know me.”
“He knew you’d come between him and Ike.”
“Yeah I guess so. There’s a comfortable chair a few inches to your right if you want to sit down.”  Sara settled back into her chair gracefully, and waited for Laura to snag the other comfortable chair in the room. Feeling uncomfortable talking about Buck and Ike, Sara changed the subject to a more prudent, comfortable topic. “So how are you feeling about this new baby?”
“I’m glad I only have a few more days. The doctor said that it was in position and all but that I’d need to take it easy, something that I hate doing.”
“Just think, Lou and the Kid will be home in another month. You’ll have had the baby by then.” Sara declared knowing it wasn’t really a part of the conversation but including it anyway. “Course Buck’s going to have to get energetic here shortly and start building that house for you and the children. Come September the bunkhouse will be needed again.”
“You hire in the fall?”
“Only for haying.” Sara replied. “We didn’t send the herd to market this year, a local rancher bought the yearling steers.”
“How long will it take to do the haying?” Laura asked hearing Sara moving about making drinks.
“Last year it took us nearly a month to do it. We’ve got nearly five hundred acres of hay to be cut. Then we’ll have the barn dance afterwards and a corn shucking party the same night. It’s a lot of fun.”
“I can’t wait. By then I’ll be able to fit into my old clothes, get dressed up for the festivities and such.”
“I know what you mean. Hopefully by then this baby’ll have been born.” Sara sighed and glanced down at her belly apprehensively. This one didn’t feel like any of the other three that she’d carried, there was more pressure, and discomfort than before. “And without any complications.”
“I’ll offer a prayer.” Laura said and settled back into her chair. “I’m glad Louise’s coming back soon. With both of us having babies we’re going to be hard pressed to have classes the beginning of September you know. I wonder if she’d be willing to step in for a bit.”
“Probably. Lou’s pretty good with books and such. Course I don’t envy her having to teach your kids and mine considering how much mischief they get into.” Laughing Sara studied Laura as she shifted again. “You alright?”
“Just a minor backache.” Laura waved it away.
“How long you had this backache?” Rising Sara moved closer to where Laura was sitting.
“Since last night.”
“Come on. Lets get you into bed. As close to your due date as you are, I’d feel better knowing that you were resting.”
“But I feel fine.” Laura protested. “Really, I’m sure it’ll go away.”
“No arguing. Please Laura, I would hate to see anything happen.”
“Alright. I’ll go home and have a rest.”
“I’m coming with you. At least until Buck gets finished with what they’ve been doing.”
“Thanks. I’d appreciate it.” Laura declared smiling painfully.
Helping Laura across the yard, Sara didn’t see either of the two men and sighed. With any luck Laura would be in full labor before Buck returned, in her experience men didn’t deal well with the first onslaught of labor pains. Settling Laura on her bed, Sara helped her get into a nightgown before moving to the kitchen where she boiled some water, gathered some rags, a soft blanket and a pair of scissors she tossed into the boiling water to sterilize.
Sitting next to Laura who progressed rapidly in her labor, Sara offered her a hand to squeeze even as she wiped the sweat from the blonde’s forehead. “It won’t be long now.” Sara whispered as she heard the children outside playing. “Hunter’s got everyone playing close by so if needs be I can holler to one of them to get Buck.”
“Its never happened this fast before.” Laura panted in between contractions. “Usually it lasts until I’m so tired that I can’t see anything. This time it’s going way too fast.”
“Fast is sometimes best.” Sara whispered soothingly. “Just means Buck may come home to another child instead of a wife in labor.”
“Just where did they go this morning?”
“Longhorn Creek. It’s the western most boundary of the ranch. We’ve had a few problems out that way with horses and cattle wondering off, so they went to check it out. Don’t worry they’ll be home by dark.”
“I hope so.” Laura sobbed as another wave of pain hit. “I sure hope he never thinks he’s gonna ever touch me again. This hurts like hell.”
“Sure it does, then it’ll be over and you’ll have forgotten it.” Sara declared with a laugh. “That’s it, just breath through them, you’re doing really good Laura.”
“Just you wait until you have yours.”
“Long labor doesn’t frighten me.” Sara replied. “Labor period doesn’t frighten me anymore. After you’ve delivered one baby by yourself, the next ones are easy when there’s someone else there with you.”
“Mm. This is getting worse.” Laura panted as she felt another pain hit, and nearly screamed at the urge to push. “I think it’s time.”
“Alright, you know what to do Laura.” Sara shifted and moved slightly so she’d be in position when the baby came out. “Come on Laura, you’re gonna have to help this baby come out, it ain’t gonna do all the work itself.”
Groaning Laura pushed as hard as she could then flopped back down on the bed, her face ashen and pale as she struggled to push again, and again until Sara laughed softly. “It’s a boy Laura.”
“Thank you.” Laura cried as Sara moved about, from what her hearing was telling her the young woman had to be cleaning off her son. “Isaac.”
“Pardon?” Sara settled the tiny baby next to his mother with a soft smile.
“His name, its Isaac.”
“You know it’ll get shortened to Ike.”
“I know.” Laura smiled at Sara. “That’s the whole point. Buck wanted a son named Ike, he got one.”
“We’re not done yet there woman. Come on, we’ve got to get the afterbirth and such out.” Sara removed the tiny boy from his mother’s side and helped her finish the delivery of the placenta before tidying her up and putting her into a clean, freshly made bed with her son. Seeing the exhaustion written on the woman’s face, Sara retreated to gather the five children playing outside and head them over to the big house.
“Alright kids, you can help me with supper.” Sara said as she walked into the house. “I’m gonna get cleaned up, girls fetch me some potatoes from the garden, boys run out to the root-cellar and bring in a roast.”
“Yes Ma.” Hunter took off for the cellar to snag the meat his mother asked for drawing a smile from her. Setting it on the counter by where she stood, he watched her work quickly to slice it into nicely sized steak and put them in a pan before sliding the whole thing into the oven.
“What can I do Missus McSwain?” Jacob asked standing patiently by the table.
“You can bring me some water, we’ll make biscuits.” Sara promised as she peeled the potatoes. “Now Emma, you help Jacob with the mixing and such. He’s making biscuits for us tonight.”
“Can I help too?” Matthew asked.
“You’re gonna fetch us some berries. There’s a whole basket full down in the basement, you bring ‘em up and then go out and milk the old cow. We’ll have berries with cream for dessert.”
Racing off the little boy did as he was instructed, not caring that normally he’d have had a fit if asked to fetch berries for dinner and do woman’s work.
“Missus McSwain?” Jenny asked softly joining Sara at the stove as her brother mixed up some dough for biscuits.
“Yes Jenny?”
“Where’s Mama?”
“She’s resting Sweetheart.” Sara replied softly. “She had the baby today.”
“Oh.” Jenny sighed and glanced at the floor she loved her mother but she was worried about how this baby would affect her life. Ma had paid less attention after Jacob had been born, would she get left behind now that a new baby was here.
“Her and Isaac need some time to get to know one another so you can stay here with me for a while, okay?” Sara noted Jenny’s unease, and smiled. “She’ll be fine Jenny. Before you know it, she’ll have you helping her with this baby like the young lady you are.”
“Thank you.” Jenny smiled shyly before returning to her search for dishes for the table.
Watching the children Sara smiled, despite the differences in ages, and heritages they didn’t seem to mind working and playing together. Hunter and Jenny seemed especially close, making her wonder if there wasn’t a bit of friendly competition between them. She’d never seen anyone that close to another as a child, her childhood had been hard work and hiding from Harris, who’d always had something to torment her with.
“Ma.” Hunter’s voice had her glancing down at her son.
“Yes Hunter? What would you like?”
“Can Jenny and I go get some of those preserves you made?” Hunter smiled at his mother. “She don’t believe me when I said you’ve got shelves of ‘em.”
“Well we could use some of those pickles I made last summer, they’d go well with the steaks. I suppose you may go get two jars.” Sara agreed before warning. “But don’t go climbing up on anything and do not bring back more than two jars.”
“Yes Ma.” Diving out the door Hunter pulled Jenny with him as they headed for the cellar.
“Now why couldn’t he have gotten them from the kitchen pantry?” Sara shook her head at the youngsters and returned her attention to the stove. “Emma, you watch the stove for me for a minute. Nobody is to go near it I’m just gonna run over and check on Missus Cross. I won’t be but a moment.”
“Yes ma’am.” Emma smiled as the other children quickly agreed and watched her mother scurry across the yard to where the Cross family lived. “It sure is nice to have you so close. Now we won’t have to go into town to find children to play with.” Emma said. “I heard Ma telling Pa that they’d have to lay in more lumber for your house.”
“Our house? Here?” Jacob giggled waving the dough covered spoon around. Suddenly realizing what he’d done he set it back in the bowl. “You mean it?”
“Sure do. It’s what I heard. Course your Pa’ll have to hurry if’n he wants it built before winter sets in.”
“I sure hope so.” Jacob sighed. “There’s so much more to do here than in town anyways.”
“Yeah, there is at that.” Matthew smiled as Jenny and Hunter preceded his Ma by only a few steps.

Half an hour later Sara was laughing as the children stood washing the bowls that had been used to make the biscuits, the jars for the preserves and such, they had just as much water on themselves and the floor as they had on the dishes and in the wash basin.
Hearing hoof beats she hurried to the front of the house and smiled as she recognized who it was that had ridden it. “Kids looks like your Pa is home.”
Stepping out onto the porch she watched as five children raced past her and dived off the porch to hurry to the two men dismounting next to the corral. Studying the two men she sighed, they worked tirelessly next to one another each day. Building fences, breaking horses, doctoring sick animals, and yet they had yet to reach out and start talking about what they should be talking about.
Shaking her head she waved at both men before heading to the front gate to meet them. “Laura’s resting at your place Buck.” She said as Ike reached over to pick her up in a hug. “Don’t go waking her either, she was busy today.”
“Thanks.” Buck turned and headed for the house, his thoughts on the work they’d done that day and not on what Sara and Laura had done. Stepping into their bedroom, he froze, Laura lay sleeping soundly the cradle she’d brought with her sitting next to the bed, a small lump in the middle. Moving slowly he walked over and looked down into the sleeping face of his newborn child and smiled.
“Busy indeed.” He whispered tracing a gentle finger down the baby’s soft cheek before glancing at his wife who slept soundly.  Rising he retreated from the room to where the wash basin was set. After washing up he headed for the main house, pausing only fractionally when he saw Ike and Sara on the front stoop locked in a passionate embrace, the children nowhere in sight.
“Hey you two, there are children about you know.” He muttered as he walked past them, noting Sara’s guilty flush and Ike’s less than pleased expression, he tried to soften what he’d said with a smile. “Might give Jenny and Hunter ideas.”
“Go on inside, dinner’s ready.”
*Someday Buck.* Ike shook his head slowly before ushering Sara inside and down the corridor to the kitchen. *You’ve been busy today. First helping Laura deliver a boy, then making this much for supper. How do you get the energy?* Ike teased softly.
“Oh I had help. The kids helped me, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” Hunter declared with a big grin. “We did. You like it Pa?”
*Looks good enough to eat.* Ike grinned and tickled the youngster before taking his place at the head of the table. Laughing at the children’s antics he watched them carefully, noting the easy way they laughed together it made him wonder just how much they knew about their differences. The kids from town wouldn’t have adjusted to having two Indian kids to play with so readily, in fact they’d have probably tried fighting with them first. Thinking back to the days when he and Buck were at the orphanage Ike had to admit he felt a little sorry for those that picked on either Jacob or Jenny Cross.
Glancing over at Buck he noted the other man’s frown and felt his good mood shift a little lower. *There a problem Buck?* He asked quickly.
“No.” Buck glanced at Ike and smiled slightly. “Just remembering all the fights we used to get into when we were growing up, including the ones in Sweetwater.”
*There were a few.* Ike acknowledged as Sara passed down a bowl of potatoes.
“Hunter Isaac McSwain!” The sharp tone in Sara’s voice had everyone glancing at the young lad who’d reached over Emma’s plate to grab at the plate of biscuits. “Ask for it, don’t go reaching like a wagon’s tongue. If you can’t be mannerly, you’ll eat your meals with the rest of the stock.”
“Sorry Ma, sorry Emma.” Hunter pulled his hand back sharply and stared at his plate for a few seconds before glancing at his sister. “Please pass the biscuits.”
“Thank you.” Sara shifted the attention away from her eldest by focusing on Buck and Ike. “So what did you find out Hon? Is it rustlers?”
*For sure a portion is, but for the most part there’s wolves, bears, and other predators out there that are taking a few animals. I ain’t ready to fence it in yet though. After all the Davies use that water, so do the Hansens. We’ll just have to put someone up there to watch over everything.*
“You mean build a cabin up there?”
*Sure, don’t see why we couldn’t. You know Ezaria’s been asking for his own shack, we could put him up there.*
“I suppose you’re right. If you think that’s best, I’ll see to it that a cabin’s built before the snow flies then you can help get him settled in.”
*Yes dear.* Ike smiled and winked at his sons before turning the conversation away from himself and onto their day with a couple of well worded questions.
Sitting silently, Buck watched the proceedings with a faint smile. Laura’d been right, this was starting to feel like home. Now all he had to do was face his ghosts and talk to both Ike and Sara, then he’d see if they were still welcome.

Chapter Five

“I don’t know Sara what if you go into labor or something?” Laura asked bouncing her ten day old son. “You know you’re only a few weeks away.”
“I’ll be fine. Buck’s staying here to work on that fence he busted yesterday and Ike has to go into town to get supplies. I see no reason you and the children can’t all go. It’ll be good for you, get you away from here.”
“Hello there!” Everyone turned to face Mister McLure who came trotting up on one of the horses he rode when he was making a telegraph delivery.
“Mister McLure what brings you up here today?” Sara smiled.
“Got a wire for you Miss Sara. Here you go.” Handing the piece of paper to her he turned and trotted away.
“Who’s it from?”
“Kid and Lou.” Sara tore open the envelop and pulled out the slip of paper. “Sara and Ike, stop. Sorry to inform you that we’re going to be delayed, stop. Teaspoon fell off the barn. Stop. Doc said he won’t be up to working for another week or two. Stop. We’ll be home shortly after he’s back on his feet. Stop. Louise. Stop.”
“That settles it. I won’t go into town today.”
“Get out of here.” Sara laughed. “You need to go into town anyways, now off with you before I lose all patience and throw you in the wagon myself.”
*You can’t force her to want to go.* Ike warned pulling her closer for a soft kiss. *Besides, what if she’s right?*
“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve delivered a baby all by myself.” Sara replied with a smile as she trailed a finger down his shirt front. “Besides, I still have two weeks to go. I’ll be fine. Its not like I’m alone and inexperienced. Please, Honey take her with you. She’s driving me insane.”
*Alright. I’ll be back by dark, don’t over do it.*
“I won’t.” Sara smiled and waved at the kids as they sat in the back of the wagon and waited for Ike to help Laura up before climbing aboard and waiting for her to settle the baby in her lap before heading down the driveway with a final wave.
Shaking her head at them Sara watched until they were out of sight before turning to head back inside and running into Buck’s chest. Glancing up at him she raised an eyebrow. “Something you wanted Buck?”
“You seemed in an awful hurry to get rid of Laura.” Buck commented.
“Sure I was. She’s been working too hard lately, what with the baby, schooling, helping with the garden and raising two young ‘uns she needs a break. Why, does it bother you that I think she deserves a trip into town?”
“Laura can make up her own mind.”
“Really? Funny seems to me that you’ve got her mind made up already, even if its just the way you want it.”
“Look Sara, I really don’t care what you think. You’ve already turned my best friend against me, I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand here and let you do it to my wife.” Buck snarled and whirled to stalk off toward the barn.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sara hollered and hurried after him. Stepping in front of him before he could get in the barn she glared at him. “I’m neither stupid nor blind Buck Cross, I’m well aware of how much you dislike me. And up till now I’ve put up with it because your being here’s made Ike happy. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you put all the blame on my shoulders because your wife chose to do something other than cater to your every whim.”
“Really, seems to me you don’t have too much of a choice. I don’t have to listen to you.”
“That’s right you don’t Buck, and I don’t have to listen to you. Just remember something while you’re walking around with your head in the air, I’m not the one that avoided speaking to him whenever we went to Rock Creek, I’m not the one that turned my back on him because of some misguided, delusional idea that he walked away from me. Because Ike didn’t turn his back on you, he wanted you to be a part of our lives. If anyone turned their back, and betrayed that friendship it was you.”
“No? Seems to me he was in an awful big hurry to drop everything and run up here to be with you. Seems to me when it came time for choosing, he chose you not me.”
“Really? Why because he came to me? I didn’t ask him to, I told him I’d move to Rock Creek so he could be with his friends and family. He said he wanted to be able to show something for his life, and living in a town wasn’t going to do it for him. Ike loved you, and I respected him for that. You obviously didn’t give a damn about him or you’d have realized that all he wanted was a chance to have a family of his own, children, a home. Something that he could say look what I built. You want to blame me you go right ahead Buck Cross, because you know what I don’t give a shit.”
Turning Sara stomped off toward the house, cursing the burning behind her eyes as she broke into a run and dived up the steps and slammed the door leaving Buck standing next to the barn.  Sobbing harshly she headed for the kitchen, there were breakfast dishes to do.
Watching her run from him Buck swallowed hard, Ike was going to kill him when he found out about this little episode. Taking a deep breath, he turned and headed for the bunkhouse, it was time he straightened up in there.
Working diligently he put the children’s toys in the large trunk he’d carved and picked up Laura’s clothes that she’d left folded on the table. Tucking Isaac’s clothing into his bassinet he tucked it under Jenny’s bed and picked up a broom to sweep, his mind on what Sara had said.
Cursing as he swept, Buck realized that she was right and it bothered him that she could read him so well. Briefly he wondered what she’d do if he apologized then shook his head she wouldn’t believe him anyway.

Setting the last of the pots down on the counter Sara picked up the dishtowel only to double over at the sharp pain that tore through her body. Gasping for breathe as the pain intensified she sank to the floor, her hands clutching her stomach. Feeling a wave of dizziness at the pain she breathed deeply, hoping to still the sensation before reaching up to pull herself into a standing position once again.
Taking a single step toward the table Sara bit her lip as another pain hit her and a moment later she felt a sticky, hot trail of moisture down her legs. Closing her eyes she lifted her skirt hoping against hope that it had been her imagination. 
Staring in horror at the scarlet trail on her white pantaloons, Sara screamed as another wave of pain hit before the first had receded completely. “No, please God no.” Sara whimpered curling into a ball on the dining room floor. “Don’t take my baby.” Rocking back and forth Sara couldn’t stop the tears as she clutched at her stomach.

Dropping the broom Buck raced toward the house, his heart in his throat as he jumped the picket fence and took the front stairs on one leap. Bursting through the door, Buck tried to shake off the chills racing up his spine at the sound of Sara’s scream.
Sliding to a halt next to Sara, he knelt next to her crumpled form on the floor. “Sara?”
“Help me.” Sara whimpered her face ashen with pain and fear. “I don’t want to lose my baby.”
“Sara listen to me, we’ve got to get you to a doctor.”
“Nearest one.. is.. in Sweetwater.” Sara gasped painfully curling around her abdomen in utter agony.
“Is Missus Davies still around?”
“She died two years ago.” Sara shivered fiercely, “We’ve been trying to get another doctor to come up this way but haven’t had any luck.”
Pushing aside his own fear, Buck picked Sara up and headed for the stairs. “Lets get you into bed.” Moving cautiously up the steps he tried to ignore the wetness soaking into his shirt as he held her, a glance down revealed the blood soaking her clothing as she whimpered with each pain. By the time he made it down the corridor to the room Sara indicated as her and Ike’s, his shirt was just as blood soaked as her dress and she was weakened visibly.
Being careful he stood her next to the bed and made short work of the buttons on the back of her dress, letting it pool at her feet in a soggy mess he stripped her completely before wrapping her in a nightgown and tucking her into bed. Piling fresh linen and towels nearby he placed several under her like he’d seen the midwife in Rock Creek do and reached for the pitcher of water.
Bathing her face with cool water, Buck flinched with every pain he could see her going through. Putting a hand on her stomach he could feel the contractions wrapping around her even as she cried, wiping the blood from her lips after she bit them he smiled, “That’s got to be universal.” He soothed. “Laura does it all the time.”
“I’m scared Buck.” Sara whimpered. “This is worse then Hunter’s birth.”
“At least Ike isn’t here to drive you insane with worry.” Buck teased then tensed when she started to cry.
“He didn’t even know I was pregnant. He met Hunter when he was nearly two.” Sara sobbed softly. “I had Hunter by myself.”
“What do you mean?” Buck asked. He knew Ike, and he knew if Ike had known that Sara was pregnant nothing short of death would have kept him from being there when the baby was born.
“You’re gonna love this part Buck,” Sara laughed sadly. “He left.”
“Left for where?”
“He went with Cody to join the Union army.” Sara said and glanced longingly at the water. “Can I have a drink please.”
“Sure can.” Holding the glass steady, he let her drink until she pushed the glass away and lay down on the bed, her eyes drifting closed as she did.  “Sara, now come on. You’re gonna have to wake up.”
“Tired.”
“I know you’re tired, but this baby’s coming and coming fast. You’re gonna have to deliver it.”
“Caroline.” Sara whispered tiredly. “I want her named Caroline. It’s a pretty name.”
“Caroline is a pretty name.” Buck agreed noting how slurred Sara’s words were and how hard she was struggling to stay awake. “Sara tell me why Ike left.” He ordered. “What happened that he felt he had to go to war?”
“I pushed him away after I lost the baby.”Sara whimpered her body arching off the bed, her muscles tensed as bowstrings, “I didn’t want to hurt him again so I shut him out, wouldn’t let him past this wall I’d built around my heart and so he left.” Sara’s voice was getting weaker with each word.
“Ike always was stubborn. Probably just needed some time is all. He did come home to you after all.” Buck said as he lifted Sara’s hand and squeezed. He felt a rush of fear when she squeezed back weakly, and shook his head. Moving slightly he checked and felt a renewal of the panic that he’d pushed aside. The baby was coming alright, only it was breech.
“Sara, listen to me you’ve got to push. This baby’s about ready to come out, you’re gonna have to do some work now.” Buck ordered.
“Tired.” Sara repeated weakly.
“I know you’re tired.” Buck replied and moved to her head, “But you’ve got to push. I ain’t gonna have Ike thinking I killed his wife and child, now you’re gonna push.”
“I’m sorry Buck.” Sara whispered. “I never wanted to be your enemy.”
“You aren’t my enemy. I blamed you for what happened even though it wasn’t your fault. You were right, I betrayed Ike not the other way around.”
“Sleep?”
“No, not right now. You’ve got to push.” Buck ordered and lifted her shoulders.
Sara frowned, the warmth and peacefulness of darkness called to her, but someone was screaming. Realizing that it was her she wondered briefly why she was in so much pain then there was a sudden easing of pain, and discomfort and she sighed. Closing her eyes she didn’t see Buck pick up the baby girl and start bathing her, or hear the tiny cries from the newborn.
Sinking into the pool she let the warmth, and darkness ease her pain until there wasn’t anything but a comfortable peace. Struggling up through the swirling peace she was jerked awake by a sharp slap. Glaring at the man in front of her she blinked and tried to sleep but to no avail. Following his orders she took the baby and shifted to allow her child to nurse.
“You know your baby.” Buck sat down to watch Sara nursing although he wasn’t sure just how much effort she was putting into it as her eyes kept drifting shut. When the baby relaxed and let go he picked her up, wrapped her in blankets and put her in the bassinet before moving forward doubtfully to freshen Sara despite her weak protests at his touch. He knew that if she’d been able she wouldn’t have let him within ten feet of her, but right now she didn’t have a choice. It only took him a few very embarrassing minutes to straighten her up before he moved to the rocker to keep a silent vigil.
Sitting in the rocker next to the bed, Buck stared at the young woman clinging so tenuously to life even as the shadows grew along the floor. The two ranch hands had already been sent up to the line shack, and now to have to sit here alone and watch his best friend’s wife suffering. Shaking his head, he headed downstairs to make some tea. He’d try something to help with the bleeding, although he didn’t know exactly what he could give her that wouldn’t be too strong.
Hours later hearing the sound of a wagon coming, Buck darted down the stairs and out the front door to freeze when he realized it wasn’t a wagon but a buckboard. Stepping down the stairs he paused and watched a familiar figure get out of the rig. “Thank God.” Hurrying toward the older man Buck hardly gave him time to grab his bag. “It’s a good thing you stopped by Doc. You gotta come quick.”
“Hello to you to Buck. What’s wrong?” Following the half-blood Doc Harper hurried along until they came to a partially closed bedroom door. “Is it Sara?”
“Yeah she’s in a bad way. I tried to help her but the baby was breech, and she won’t stop bleeding. She’s not bleeding a whole lot but there is blood.” Buck replied nervously. “I’ve had her awake twice now, both times she’s let the baby suckle.”
“Any signs of fever, incoherent thought?” Doc said setting his bag down next to the bed. Moving quickly he checked her over before pulling the sheet back. Grimacing at the faint traces of blood on the white bedclothes he glanced at Buck. “When was the last time you changed these?”
“A couple of hours ago. I gave her some herbal tea, hoping that would slow the bleeding. It worked although I’m not sure if the bleeding was normal or not.” Buck replied nervously.
“You’d better change then go get Ike. I imagine he’s around somewhere?”
“He’s in town. They should be on their way back now.”
“Best get him.” Doc hollered as Buck ran from the room. Pausing he glanced over his shoulder at the empty doorway, the usually calm man had obviously had a hard time with this delivery. “Well Sara my dear, looks like you had a bad one this time.” He said changing the dressings Buck had left giving her a thorough exam. Shaking his head he turned to the baby who lay sleeping a few feet away. Hearing hoof beats, he glanced out the window and saw Buck riding hell bent for leather toward Wellsburg.
“Well Sara, lets just hope Ike’s in time.” Doc declared as he examined the baby girl who fussed when he disturbed her.
Sara shook her head and tried to focus on more than just the words. Struggling in the depths she’d sunk into she couldn’t do more than just listen and scream at them to quit talking about her, although she didn’t hear herself talking. Briefly wondering what was going on, Sara relaxed back into the darkness and felt only a brief irritation at being disturbed.

Glancing up Ike pulled the team up sharply when he saw a rider coming toward them at a full gallop. *Hunter you’d best get yourself in the back. Take Isaac with you and tell the children to stay down.*
“Yes Pa.” Hunter said and turned to Missus Cross. “Missus Cross, there’s a rider coming fast. Pa said for me to take the baby and get in the back.”
“Do you think there’ll be trouble Ike?” Laura asked and waited for Hunter to translate his father’s signs.
*I hope not.* Ike said reaching for the repeater rifle he carried at all times. Recognizing the rider as he got closer Ike shifted suddenly. *Damn. What happened?*
“Sorry Ike.” Buck gasped as he pulled up next to the wagon. “Doc Harper’s at the house. You’d best come quickly.”
*Sara?*
Buck shook his head. “Doc said for me to get you. It isn’t good.”
“Buck? What happened?” Laura demanded tensing as she felt Ike shift suddenly. “Ike take Buck’s horse, he can drive the team.”
*Get in the back Laura.” Ike stated and glanced at Buck for a second. Nodding slightly when the other man translated he waited until Laura was seated in the back then drove the team into an all out gallop.
Hanging on for dear life Hunter glanced at the other children and swallowed he’d never seen Pa drive so recklessly before. Pa had always said that the horses weren’t to be driven hard, they worked hard enough just pulling a wagon. Seeing Jenny hunkered down fear in her eyes he smiled shakily at her. “It’s gonna be okay. Pa’s a good driver.”
“Don’t you worry now.” Laura whispered. “I’m sure that there’s really nothing to be concerned about. Mister McSwain will get us home soundly.”
“Momma, why’d Pa come riding up like that?”
“I don’t know baby.” Laura told her daughter and prayed that it didn’t mean something had happened to Sara.  “I don’t know.”
Pulling up sharply next to the corral, Ike jumped down before the wagon had finished rolling and was tearing off toward the house. Jumping over the gate he tore up the front stairs, and burst into the house ignoring the way the door slammed back into the wall he ran up the stairs to where he could hear a soft crying sound.
Hearing Ike’s footfalls, Doc Harper opened the door before the young man could slam it open and wake the now sleeping baby. Glancing at Sara who hadn’t moved at all he felt a tiny flicker of fear, a breech was hard on a woman and Sara had always had harder deliveries due to her fear of having a dead child after losing one.
*Doc?* Ike slid to a stop next to the older man.
“Sara had a rough delivery.” Doc Harper explained. “The baby was breech.”
*Sara?” Ike stared at his wife, her usual tanned features slack, and pale. *She gonna be alright?*
“I don’t know son. We’ll have to wait and see.” Doc replied. “I’m not going to give you false hope, she may not make it through tonight. Sara was very lucky Buck was here, had she gone into labor without him here, both her and the child could have perished.”
Sinking back against the wall Ike closed his eyes before moving slowly toward the bed. Cursing his inability to talk he took her hand and squeezed it before bringing it to his lips and kissing the lifeless hand.
Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to stem the tears even as Doc brought over the bassinet. “You have a little girl.” He said. “Healthy, and while a couple of weeks early, none the worse for wear. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
Nodding Ike turned his attention to the little girl the Doctor had given him. Smiling at her tearfully he noted she looked a lot like Emma had when she was born, only difference being she had dark curls all over her head.
Rocking her back and forth Ike curled up on the bed next to his wife, his daughter between them and watched her sleeping figure as the purplish light of sunset faded into a darkness that devoured him.

Chapter Six

Through the hazy, warmth that surrounded her, Sara felt an all too familiar touch and shifted. Pushing at the clinging tendrils that tried to drag her back into the depths she moved toward the light and paused.
The touch was familiar the words achingly tender to her and she knew that sooner or later she’d have to choose between the peacefulness she felt and the warmth and devotion that filled that touch. Glancing around she stretched, and reached toward the pale light. “Ike?” Calling out to him, she felt the tendrils that pulled at her loosen slightly and struggled up through the black, suffocating mist that swirled in front of her, keeping her from the light. “Ike don’t you dare give up on me.” She threatened. “I ain’t giving up on us without a fight, don’t you do it.”
With each step she took toward the reality of life she could feel herself being pulled back three, until she was too weak to fight anymore. Gasping for breath and exhausted she let the depths pull her back in until she realized that she needed to keep fighting if she wanted to get back to her family.
Hearing another voice in the room Sara tried to listen closely to what was being said, although it seemed to be coming from a huge distance and through a mouthful of cotton.
“Ike I’m sorry.” Buck stood in the doorway.
*For what?* Ike glanced over his shoulder at the man who’d been such a large part of his life. *For saving one if not both my wife and child.*
“For everything.” Moving into the room Buck sat down in the chair that Ike had vacated earlier. “For what happened years ago, when you left Sweetwater. For blaming Sara for something that wasn’t her fault. For not being there when you really needed a friend.” Shaking his head Buck sighed and stared out at the darkness on the other side of the glass. “For letting you down when I should have supported you.”
*You had your reasons I reckon.*
“Yeah I did.” Buck sighed. “You see I blamed Sara for coming between us, it was easier than facing the guilt I felt for not listening to you. I resented what I considered to be an outsider coming into our lives and destroying everything we’d built. “
Ike glanced at Buck and sighed. *It didn’t matter Buck. That pain’s long since healed.*
“Has it?” Buck shifted. “Sara tore a strip off me for my attitude, and she was right. I did hate her, not because she’s the one woman you’ve loved more than anyone or anything, but because she represented a threat to the normalcy I craved, the link that you and I had built. And I was jealous.”
*I guessed it was something along those lines, in the whole time you’ve been here you’ve been very careful to be civilized to Sara but that’s it. I’m mute, not deaf or blind Buck, I’m aware of the tension between the two of you.* Ike stood and paced to the window. *I think I’ve always known it Buck. You always were possessive of your family, your friends. I should have known that you’d resent Sara just as much as you’d resented the boys and Lou to begin with. I guess I just didn’t want you to try and talk me out of what I wanted.*
“Sounds like we were both wrong.” Buck acknowledged.
*I’d say so.* Ike stared out at the darkness and felt a slight easing of the pain in his chest. Somehow, he had to reach Sara but it felt right that he and Buck had started working on the distance that had driven them apart for too long. Maybe in time they’d be back to where they had been when they’d joined the express.
“You know Ike, prayer never hurt.” Buck spoke softly as he watched Sara’s prone figure, the slow and methodical rise and fall of her chest the only sign that she was still with them. “I ain’t much for it but if you think it’ll help with her, I’d be happy to.”
*This is my fault.* Ike turned to Buck with a guilty look on his face. *I should have known better than to get her pregnant in the first place. How could I be so stupid?*
“I’d say Sara will get what she wants. If she wanted another child, you’d give in to her because you love her Ike. We both know that.” Buck rose and started for the door. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”
Ike nodded and turned to stare out at the night, his thoughts on the past and how much it had hurt when they’d lost the first child. He’d been relieved that Sara would be with him, in fact while he had grieved for the child, he’d rejoiced in the presence of his wife in their bed, and in his arms until their pride had driven them apart.
Please let her be okay. I can’t lose her Lord, I can’t make it without her. He prayed softly as he stared out the window. She’s all I got. Without her I’m nothing, the kids need their mother, and I need my wife
Hearing his daughter fussing he bent to pick her up and offer her the bottle the doctor had left, knowing that in all likely hood Sara would never see their daughter’s face. Clinging to the deep seated hope that she’d pull through Ike settled in Sara’s rocker and set it in motion his thoughts drifting back to when he’d realized that he loved her.

Laying next to Sara, Ike felt the steady pounding of her heartbeat against his chest and felt completely at peace. His body thrummed with the heady rush that he’d gotten from their lovemaking but it was the soft sound of his new lover’s breathing that was the most satisfying.
Staring at the walls of the cabin as the flames in the fireplace died down, and the lightening lit up the interior he wondered how he could have let things get so out of hand. When he’d ridden in hours earlier the only thing on his mind had been to get out of the rainstorm, to hell with the mail or even getting back to Sweetwater on schedule. Walking into the tiny cabin, his clothing soaked and a deep exhaustion in his body he gladly accepted the dry clothes and the towel.  But when he’d moved to see Sara stripping his body had kicked into over drive and he began to wonder if Kid had felt like this watching Lou for so long.
Struggling to hide his reaction as Sara had made dinner, and gone out to check the horses when the storm spooked them he needed to get some space. When she offered to let him bunk down, Ike knew there wouldn’t be a point to it, something pulled at him. Some unnamed emotion held him in place at the table as she tossed aside the cards and rose to set the dough for morning.
How long he sat there, Ike really didn’t know but glancing up he felt a kick in his gut and knew without a doubt that tonight things would be different. It had shocked him when she hadn’t slapped his face and thrown him out. Holding her after the first time they’d made love something seemed to settle in his soul and he knew then that there was a difference between bedding down with a whore and making love with someone you cared about. Feeling his heart settle Ike knew that he’d found the only woman he would ever truly love.
When the cold light of morning hit him he stared down at Sara’s sleeping face and felt only a calm sort of pleasure, he had no regrets about their actions and regardless of where things went, he knew that he’d had a taste of paradise. 
Heading out to Sweetwater the next day had been the hardest thing he had ever done, and things had only gotten harder as time passed and they’d gotten deeper and deeper into their affair until he’d known that they had to marry, he couldn’t live life without her by his side and if the only way to have her was to tie her to him, then he’d do it.
*Please God, don’t take her. I don’t know what I would do without her.* Ike prayed and rested his head against the cold wood of the rocker as silent, hot tears streaked down his face. The gentle rocking motion lulled him and Caroline into a sleep, easing the tension if only for a few minutes.

Pushing past the warmth surrounding her Sara tried to focus on something important as she tried to move up the darkness until she could clearly see what it was she was searching for. Blinking in the faint light she shifted, exhaustion still tore through her body making her long for the deep, healing sleep that she’d been in but she needed desperately to see her child and her husband.
A single lantern sat in one corner of the room, its pale light illuminating only a few feet leaving the rest of the room shrouded in shadows. The rocking chair she loved so much sat rocking gently, the man sitting in it more familiar than her own self. She sighed and glanced around seeing her newest child in her father’s arms Sara struggled into a sitting position and pushed at the blankets that held her in the bed.
Padding carefully across the wooden floor she paused next to the rocking chair and sighed. Shaking her head she reached out to touch Ike’s shoulder gently. “Honey, you’re gonna get a crick in your neck.” She chastised gently. “You should be in bed.”
Ike sat up quickly and glanced up at the gentle touch. *Sara?* Rising he shifted the sleeping baby in his arms and reached out to touch Sara’s face. Staring into her eyes, he saw the exhaustion but more importantly he saw the love and devotion that had become such a large part of their lives.
“Who else were you expecting?” Sara teased tiredly. “The baby sleeps in her crib, not in this chair.”
*Yes dear.* Smiling Ike set the baby down and moved to the bed where Sara had slid back in. Slipping in next to her, Ike pulled her back into his warmth and held her as she drifted back to sleep. Come morning he wondered if she’d even remember what had happened, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t.

Sitting at the kitchen table Ike met the eyes of the doctor with a raised eyebrow. “Well she’s doing better. Still gonna take a while for her to heal. Stress and exhaustion are what caused her to have so many problems with this delivery.  I’m sorry to say she won’t be having any more children. Her body just can’t take the strain, the next pregnancy could kill her.”
*She won’t be getting pregnant again.* Ike promised with a slight smile. *Bed rest?*
“Bed rest for at least two weeks. I’d think it would be beneficial for her to stay in bed until Louise and Kid come back. I’ll check back in a week or so, if you need me just come get me. You know where I am.”
*Thanks Doc.* Ike shook the man’s hand and watched him leave the room. Glancing up at the slightest sound he met Sara’s stunned expression and felt slightly uneasy.
“Ike..” Sara started.
*No. I’m not going to argue Sara, we need you. If you want that many more children we’ll adopt or something. I ain’t going to risk losing you again. Despite your pride.* Ike warned and rose as Buck and Laura walked into the room.
“But you deserve to have children Ike!”
*I deserve to have a wife with me when I’m old and gray.* Ike replied angrily. *This isn’t open for discussion. You don’t want to abide by the doc’s warning fine, I’ll move into the guest bedroom!*
“Ike McSwain!” Sara gasped at Ike’s threat. Shaking her head she shrugged. “Fine. If that’s what you think is best.” Turning she headed back to bed, Ike would wake up sooner or later. Besides she didn’t really feel like arguing with him, she agreed with the doctor completely. Fear and uncertainty didn’t bode well with pregnancy.
Before she slid into bed she smiled at her daughter and paused, picking the baby up she carried her back to bed and slid in to lay down and close her eyes to fall asleep nearly instantly.

Shaking his head at her stubbornness, Ike glanced at his friends. *Well?*
“Picked where I want the house.” Buck grunted. “Course it’s gonna take some work to get it built by the first snowfall.”
*Not really. Kid will be home soon, and we can always hire some more men if needs be. Shouldn’t take more than a few days to have a two room, maybe three room house built. Course you’ll have to add on in the spring.* Ike smiled softly.
“That’s what I was thinking. That bunkhouse is gonna get awfully full when the men come in to work. Figured they wouldn’t want a woman and three young ‘uns hanging out in there with ‘em.”
*Never know. Lou didn’t mind six men in the same bunkhouse.*
“Kid sure did.” Buck smiled remembering some of the fights they’d had when Kid and Lou were still courting.
*I think he was more concerned that Lou wouldn’t have her space than that we’d look. Besides, they’ve mellowed out some.*
“That I’ll believe when I see it.” Laughing Buck drank the coffee Ike poured as Laura moved about the room humming softly as she made dinner.
“You know Dear, we’ve always had small houses, I wouldn’t know what to do with one that was big.” Laura commented as she turned to smile at them. “But a big house sounds perfect.”
“When Ike goes to town again I’ll go in and order the lumber.” Buck promised quickly as his friend sat laughing next to him.
*We’ll go in tomorrow. No sense putting it off.* Ike pointed out. *Earlier we get that lumber, the sooner we can start building.*
“Sounds good. Can’t pay you for it yet,” Buck frowned at the thought of going into debt.
*Good, I don’t pay for lumber. It comes off our land so all I pay is a set amount for them to cut it to length.*
“It’ll be nice to get settled.” Laura sat down next to Buck. “And a safe job for you is the best thing yet. I never worried so much my whole life as when you were deputy Marshall in Rock Creek.”
*You were in Rock Creek?* Ike signed visibly shocked.
“Yeah. Doesn’t seem that far away does it?” Buck glanced at him. “Until you let your pride go to work. Those few miles between Rock Creek and here seemed a lifetime of travel at one time. That is until someone said that a wise man faces his ghosts, and puts them to rest.”
“Sounds like good advice.” Laura said as the children stampeded into the room, Jenny carrying the cradle board where Isaac lay sleeping soundly. “ You best settle down all of you, Sara ain’t awake yet and I think she needs her sleep.” Laura warned as the children giggled and played in the room. “Besides that you wake either Isaac or Caroline up and it’ll be your backsides that are stinging.”
“Yes Ma.” Jenny smiled and set the baby on the table next to her mother. “Can I go with the boys to the swimming hole. I promise to behave.”
“Dinner will be ready shortly, you’d best be thinking of helping set the table and such. Boys you’d best wash up. Ain’t raising no pack of wild dogs, now get.” Laura replied sternly. “No swimming hole until after supper.”
“Yes ma’am.” Hunter raced off after the other two boys, dragging a protesting Jenny along with him as he did. The slamming of the front door had everyone jumping even little Isaac who started to fuss at the sharp sound.
“Kids. You’ve got to love ‘em.”
“Yeah.” Laura smiled as she rocked her youngest son. “How is Sara really Ike?”
*Exhaustion played a big part in what happened.* Ike smiled as Buck translated. *Caroline was breech, she’s very lucky that she didn’t die delivering. Doc figures that it was the other three deliveries that helped ease this one along. But she won’t be having anymore children.*
“Oh, I’m so sorry Ike. I know you wanted lots of them.”
*We have lots of children. There’s your kids, and Kid and Lou’s kids.* Ike sighed softly. *And we can always adopt. There’s plenty of children out there that could use a loving home.*
“What’s Sara say about that?” Buck asked.
*She’s disgusted right now. Trying to talk to her is like talking to a certain young man I know.* Ike stared pointedly at Buck who flushed and shrugged.
“Give it some time.”
*Time is what I’ve got plenty of.* Ike rose. *Best see to it that the stock’s fed. Hunter does it most times but I think he’s interested in being a boy today.*
“Never hurts to remember your youth.” Buck replied. “Besides the stock’s doing fine. I fed ‘em earlier.”
*Still there’s plenty of work to be done. Best show me where you want that house of yours.*
Rising the two men walked out of the room, deep in conversation about the newest addition to the ranch unaware of the smiling woman sitting at the table listening to them leave.

Chapter Seven

From the front stoop of the main house Sara sat rocking with Caroline, Laura and Isaac as they watched their husbands drawing out the layout for Buck and Laura’s house on the ground. Driving pegs in every few feet and tying ropes off had Sara smiling at their antics.
“You’d think they were building the president’s house or something.” She chuckled.
“They think they are. I bet Ike went all out when he was building this house.”
“Yeah I guess he did. Course most of it’s additions and such. Our first house, my shack is now the entire kitchen and dining room.” Sara glanced at her friend. “It took him two years to build. He had help, Kid pitched in when he could but he had his own house to build.”
“Buck said you and Ike split up for a while, that must have been hard.”
“I think if I hadn’t found out I was pregnant with Hunter it would have killed me. I still have nightmares. Not because Ike was hurt or anything like that but the thought that he might not have forgiven me for my pride haunts me at times.”
“We all have our quirks. I never really thought Buck deserved to be saddled with a blind wife. Most people have no tolerance for someone with a disability, in fact they see it as something to be hid. Being an orphan I made my own choices, otherwise it’s a good possibility that I’d have spent my life in an institute because of my blindness. He convinced me that I was wrong.” Laura smiled softly. “He showed me that just because my eyes don’t see, don’t mean that my heart is blind as well.”
“Sometimes they’re smart men. Other times they’re fools.” Sara laughed at her husband as he argued some point about the layout. “But you’ve got to love them.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Sara glanced at Laura sharply a frown marring her face.
“For forgiving him. You let him have his pride, and yet you showed him he was wrong. Most women wouldn’t have shown that kind of compassion.” Laura said softly. “I can see why Ike fell in love with you, and I can see why Buck’s been jealous of him for it.”
“Oh good heavens you’re not suggesting that Buck had any feelings for me..”
“I think he saw you and it hit him that his best friend, a man who for the most part hadn’t really looked at exterior beauty fell for a woman who on looks alone would have captured an man’s attention. I don’t think he’s ever really understood why he resented you choosing Ike so much, but I have a pretty good idea.” Laura smiled and pushed on the floor to allow the swing to start rocking again.
“Buck doesn’t strike me as the kind of man to fancy another man’s wife.”
“I’m not saying he does. I’m just saying that I think there was a spark there for a moment when he first saw you, and he resented it as much as he resented you and Ike’s relationship. Buck tends to be very closed in, contained I guess would be the word, about his emotions. I know he loves me, but I can see why he might have loved you if you hadn’t been with Ike.”
“Go on. You’re follies are giving me a headache.” Sara laughed and glanced back at the two men who’d turned to face them. Studying her husband she smiled and felt the same emotion she’d felt that night so many years ago when they’d become lovers.
Her skin felt too tight, there was a tension humming through her blood, an old familiar need that hadn’t dimmed despite the years and miles they’d gone in life. Tilting her head she watched him shake his head at something Buck said before going back to work on the house.
“They’re going to be tired by tonight, course that means he’s going to be complaining his back hurts all night.” Laura sighed as she turned her head to listen to the other children racing around the yard.
“Just means a rub down. Course it works both ways, you’re gonna be tired to.” Sara commented. “Course if you’re really lucky he’ll suffer in silence.”
“Not likely.” Laura laughed and rose. “Well I’d best see to that laundry. It ain’t going to do itself.”
“Ike threatened to shoot me if I so much as looked at the laundry. Doc said that I should take it easy.”
“Then you should do as he said. I’d hate to have to do your chores on top my own cause that man of yours shot you.” Laura laughed as she headed down the steps and over to where the steaming laundry sat.

*Laura isn’t going to want to have a bedroom at the front of the house Buck. No woman wants a bedroom at the front of the house. Trust me on this.*
“We’ve got to put something here. Otherwise we don’t have a very neat layout.” Buck replied crossly. “I don’t much care what’s here as long as there’s a room here.”
*Well then we’ll put a storage room here. It doesn’t much matter as long as it’s not a bedroom.* Ike declared as he glanced over at where Sara was sitting in the rocker Caroline in her arms as they rocked gently in the summer sun.
“Fine. Now that we’ve got the layout, can we start building? The lumber’s been here for three days now!”
*Then we’ll start first thing in the morning. I don’t know about you but we’ve got to start thinking of that herd soon. They ain’t going to move themselves.*
“You just want to go sit with your wife.” Buck teased.
Smiling, Ike shrugged and headed for the front porch to sit with Sara who watched him with a smile, and a familiar look that had his blood humming. Hurrying across the yard he climbed the steps and leaned down to kiss her passionately.
“You looked like you were having fun.” Sara said as he sat down next to her.
*Buck wanted a bedroom at the front of the house.*
“And you told him he was wrong.” Sara suggested.
*In my humble experience no woman wants her bedroom at the front of the house.* Ike replied.
“You’re just asking for trouble love.” Sara chuckled. “He’s gonna build it the way he wants.”
*Figured this evening we could go over the books, I’d kinda like an idea of how many head we’ve sold, and at what cost.* Ike said stretching his legs out and resting his hands on his flat stomach.
“Already done. According to the numbers we’ve got nearly three thousand head sold, at sixty five cents a pound on the hoof. There’ll be nearly sixty men on this haying, I figure we can hire Spotted Eagle and his men back as well as those men that Kid hired last year, and with you, Buck and Kid you should have plenty of men to cover the haying and harvest of the wheat.”
*And what are you going to be doing while I’m doing the haying this year?*
“I figured on getting caught up on all the stuff I’ve let slide these past few months. Besides Louise’ll be back by then and I’m sure she’ll need some help with cleaning and stuff at her place.”
Shaking his head Ike rose. *Don’t overdo it though. I’m going to go check on the stock, then I’m gonna take the kids fishing.*
“Yes dear.” Sara watched him head for the corral and step up on the bottom railing for a few minutes before heading for where the kids were playing, then they all disappeared around the corner of the barn fishing poles in hand. Letting the warmth of the sun, and the rocking motion soothe her, Sara dozed off one ear alert for any noise from Caroline. 
Jerking awake hours later, Sara shook her head and rose, the setting sun was beautiful yet she hardly paid any attention as she took her daughter inside and headed for the kitchen to make dinner.
Seeing the bowl of fish sitting on the counter she smiled, looked like the kids were back. Cleaning them quickly she put them in a pan with lemon, herbs, and tucked them into the oven before starting on the potatoes, vegetables, and a light desert. 
*Dinner just about ready?* Ike asked walking into the room with a slight grin.
“It’ll be about an hour.” Sara replied. “You could have woke me when you got home.”
*I love you.* Ike said walking up to where Sara stood her hands covered in dust from the potato skins. *More than the day we were married.*
“I love you to.” Sara smiled at him. “I must to put up with you for this long.”
Laughing softly Ike pulled her close and dropped a kiss on her lips, holding her close he leaned against her gently, his forehead resting on hers. *I’m glad I have you in my life Sara.*
“Go on with you. Look over the books or something and get out of my kitchen.” Sara whispered.
Smiling Ike departed the room with a silent promise to pick up where they’d left off after the children were in bed, Buck and Laura had gone home and they could take things as slowly and steadily as they wished.

Chapter Eight


 Hearing steady pounding Sara rolled out of bed and wrapping her shawl around her shoulders she walked downstairs and into the den where she could see the yard. Ike and Buck were building the exterior walls on the house that would clutter up their yard even more.
Shaking her head she just smiled, Buck had picked a spot four hundred yards away from her house, far enough away for some privacy yet close enough that they would be able to hear each other holler.
The house would be completed within days, Laura and Buck would be moving in just as the men arrived for haying season so there would have an empty bunkhouse.
“Sounds like they’re building a whole village out there.” Laura’s voice had Sara turning to her friend.
“Sounds like.” Sara agreed before sinking into a chair. “I’d say you’ll be moving in by the end of the week.”
“Thank god. I can’t stand to have all the children living underfoot all the time. I miss being able to snuggle with my husband.” Laura complained good naturedly. “How about you? It’s been a couple of weeks since Carrie was born, you feeling okay?”
“I’ll be okay. Doc said that I’m healing fine, course it’s gonna be a while before I can do anything a wife is required to in the bedroom. Not that I haven’t been trying, but it’s hard to satisfy your husband and not get any satisfaction yourself. “ Sara replied as she turned back to stare out the window.
“When are Kid and Lou due in?”
“Should be here by suppertime.” Sara replied. “Course I have a feeling that Kid’s going to be upset, he’s not going to get a whole lot of rest before they start haying.”
“Will they take long?”
“No, it means long hours. Usually the men are up before sunrise and don’t get back until it’s too dark to see anything. You probably won’t see Buck for the entire time they’re doing hay. Usually a month.”
“A month without Buck?” Laura sank into a chair. “What will I do?”
“Oh you’ll lose plenty of sleep and look forward to his arrival. You’d be surprised what you can do while you’re waiting for your husband to get home.”
“Sounds like you’ve had plenty of experience.”
“Too much. I’d best get dressed before those two come tromping through the house.” Sara hurried up the stairs, ignoring the prick of unease at the thought of sleeping without Ike next to her.

Pulling on a dress Sara shoved aside the old memories of the first years of their marriage, pride had come between them and it had nearly cost her everything. Sighing she pulled her hair back into a braid and headed back downstairs, taking a now awake Caroline with her.
“I’ve started coffee.” Laura called from the kitchen. “Hope you want some, there’s plenty.”
“Coffee sounds perfect.” Sara said as she lay Caroline in the basket near the table. Sinking into a chair she accepted the coffee gratefully and inhaled the rich aroma.
“You told me once that you and Ike met on a run. Knowing the way the express ran I’m surprised there was enough time for you to get to know each other, much less become lovers.”
“Ike learned the shortcuts. It’s not that far to Sweetwater when you take the back trails. And he had a unique motivation to get here.” Sara smiled. “I’m glad though, we needed each other.”
“I’d say you still do.” Laura commented quietly.
“I’d have to agree.” Sara said then frowned. “I hear horses. It’s too early for Kid and Lou..”
“Unless one of them knows those shortcuts you mentioned.” Laura said as both women rose to head to the yard where they could hear the faint strum of voices.
Stepping onto the porch Sara smiled, “Lou must have remembered the shortcut cause they’re back.”
“This place is getting very popular.” Laura whispered. “Wonder why?”
“Family.” Sara replied and laughed as Lou set her daughter down on the ground. “Hey Lou. I see you made it back, and only a couple weeks late.”
“Hi Sara.” Lou turned to face the young woman who’d hollered at her and froze, standing behind her was the familiar figure of one of her girlhood friends. “Laura?” Laughing she hurried over to give her a hug. “Where’s Buck?”
“Behind you.” Sara muttered. “He’s putting the finishing touches on their house.  Seems he wanted to come back home. Course he’s been unbearable these past few weeks what with the babies, the construction and dealing with old ghosts. But on the whole I’d say it was a good stay.”
“You look exhausted Sara, you feeling okay?” Lou demanded studying the other woman.
*She should be resting.* Ike signed as he joined them followed quickly by Buck, the kids and Kid.  Leaning down he gave Sara a kiss and brushed several strands of hair out of her face. *Nice to see you Lou. You’re looking good.*
“It’s good to be home.” Lou laughed as both Sara and Laura turned to start back inside. “I hadn’t realized just how much I loved it here until I spent some time away. Rachel’s baby is so cute, makes me want another one so much.” Lou glanced at Kid’s strangled sound as the men followed them.
“Well you can practice on Caroline or Ike.” Laura said as Sara hurried into the kitchen where they could here the rustle of  fabric.
“Caroline or Ike?” Kid glanced at his friend. “Somehow I don’t think Ike wants to be treated as a child.”
*I’ll say.* Ike grinned as Laura shook her head. *I’m sure we can find something to do while the ladies show off the newest babies.*
“Newest babies?” Kid raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been busy while we were gone.”
“I think it was before you left. She was pregnant when we got here.” Buck smiled at Kid, the old familiar ease apparent as though they hadn’t been parted for so many years, hadn’t gone through so much time by themselves.
“Laura had twins?”
“No. Laura had a little boy, Sara had a little girl. Born only a couple of weeks apart.”
“Well it’ll give Lou something to focus on for now.” Kid joked weakly, “Her wanting another child is a scary thought, I’m not sure about having another one. Our youngest was hard on her, nearly killed her to have him.”
*You’d best get things prepared at home Kid, I don’t think Lou’s gonna be too anxious to spend much time with us now that the thought of another baby’s on her mind.* Ike grinned and slapped the other man on the back. *Come on the men will be arriving shortly for haying and you’d best be ready. Besides it’s best if we let them have their gossip session, gives us a chance to get some work done.*
“Just how many children are we supposed to be watching over here?” Kid asked as the walked through to the kitchen to stare at the trio of women fawning over two small babes.
“Dozens.” Lou laughed softly as she glanced up at Kid with a happy smile, the baby in her arms an obvious delight.
“There coffee on?” Buck asked.
“Sure. On the stove.” Laura laughed softly, “Just don’t leave the pot empty or you’ll be making the next pot.”
“Things’ll never change.” Buck muttered as he met Ike’s eyes across the table. “I do have to admit though, sometimes it’s nice to be able to know that.”
“Yeah.” Kid watched the three women as they sat talking together. “I have to agree. It is nice to see some things are always going to be the same.”

Chapter Eight

A heavy layer of frost covered the ground and the trees were bare, even as a light wind had everyone in the October air shivering. Staring at the full barn of hay Lou glanced at the trio of men who stood a short distance away from her Buck, Ike, and Kid had certainly worked hard this past month and she’d watched the distance between Buck and Ike dissipate until they were as close as they had been during the express days only this time there was a certain maturity, a more accepting family feel to the situation.
“They’re getting on so well.” Laura’s voice had Lou glancing over her shoulder to see the woman walking toward her with her son on her hip.
“I know. It seems like they’ve never been at odds with each other doesn’t it.” Lou sighed at the sight of the trio working together, Buck and Ike working as one.
“I think Sara going into labor early and forcing Buck to deliver the baby is a big part of it.” Laura shifted her son, “I don’t think they’d have confronted the bitterness as easily as they did if Buck wasn’t so concerned with how Sara was doing and hoping to cheer Ike up.”
“I know Sara had it rough.” Lou sighed. “In the past month I’ve hardly seen her do anything. Ike is constantly riding her to take it easy, just this morning he got into an argument when she washed the laundry.”
“Doc told her to take it easy. I think he plans on making her do just that.”
“I heard she kicked him out of their bedroom.” Lou laughed.
“Sure, if he won’t ease up, he’s not sleeping in the same bed.” Laura chuckled. “Personally I think she’s got a good idea.”
“Wonder if it would work with Kid?” Lou mused as she turned back to her husband. “He’s been stubborn about another baby.”
“That’s Kid for you.” Laura declared as the men in question started their way. “Somehow I don’t think you’d be successful. You spend too much time laying in the bedclothes with him to have it work.”
“I know.” Lou sighed. “It was just a thought.”
Laughing at her the blonde shook her head and sighed when Buck kissed her cheek softly before wrapping her in his strong arms. “A dead end thought.”
“What are you talking about?” Kid asked wrapping an arm around Lou’s shoulders possessively. “Or do I want to know?”
“I doubt it.” Laura laughed. “How are you doing today Ike?”
*Good.* Ike stretched tiredly, exhaustion written clearly on his face. *I’m gonna go see what Sara’s doing.*
“Probably reorganizing the cupboards again.” Lou whispered as Ike walked away, struggling to hide her smile when he glanced at her sharply on his way to the big house.
“Or the closets.” Laura giggled.
“Ease up you two.” Kid stated quickly. “Ike’s right, Sara needs to take things slow.”
“She needs to be able to do something Hon,” Lou protested. “Ike won’t even let her wash the dishes.”
“I don’t hear him complaining.”
“Cause he don’t complain, neither does she. Come on Kid, every woman needs to feel useful..”
“Ike wants his wife in one piece not one in the ground.” Kid replied seriously. “I’ve only seen Ike this scared once in my life and that was the last time Sara got hurt. Don’t you realize what could happen to her if she overdoes it?”
“Sure.” Lou looked directly at Kid. “Same thing that could happen to anyone of us if we get hurt. Sara knows what she’s doing.”
“Ike’s going to realize that sooner or later, but for now leave them alone. They’ll work it out.” Kid stated and shrugged. “Now I’m freezing, come on best get out of this weather.”
Shaking their heads the others followed Kid inside even as they could hear childish laughter as they entered the big house. Stepping into the living room they stared at the children who were laying on the floor playing with their wooden toys.
“Where’s Sara and Ike?” Buck asked.
“Ma and Pa are upstairs. Pa said they had to talk.” Hunter said without glancing up from his horse that he galloped around Jenny’s doll.
“That’s strange.” Buck whispered.
“Not really.” Lou glanced at Kid then at Laura and Buck. “That kind of talking should be done behind closed doors.”
Laughing softly they headed for the kitchen to get coffee.

Standing in front of the dresser with his arms crossed Ike stared at Sara who sat on the edge of the bed, her chin tilted at a stubborn angle. *All I’m saying is you need to stay off your feet. Taking care of Carrie and the house, and me they all take a lot of effort. I just don’t want you to overdo it.*
“I’m fine. Darlin, I just want to get back into the swing of things. Do you know it’s been weeks since I’ve done anything that hasn’t been so simple a child could do it. Lou and Laura are the ones doing the chores, the cooking and taking care of the kids.” Sara glanced at the window noting the growing darkness of early winter and the first few fat flakes of snow that were falling. “I want to contribute, I need to do more than just the sewing and mending Ike.”
*If you think you can do more, go ahead. All I’m saying is if you get tired, stop.*
“Yes dear.” Sara smiled at her husband and shifted, patting the mattress under her she felt the quick thrill of recognition when he grinned at her and moved forward, slowly undressing as he moved.
Giggling softly Sara let him bear her backwards on the bed, his nimble fingers making short work of her buttons on her blouse. “You know everyone’s probably waiting supper on us.”
*They can eat without us this once. I’m not particularly hungry for food anyway.* Ike smiled as Sara laughed softly in agreement.

Rising early Buck stepped outside to a blanket of white in the early morning light. Shaking his head he took a deep breath, winter had arrived he thought as he glanced at the other two houses that sat within shouting distance.
Seeing the lanterns going on in both houses he knew the others were waking, soon it would be time to have the morning meal and get on with the daily workings of feeding stock in the winter on a large ranch.  Padding softly across the yard he stepped onto the porch of Ike’s house and smiled as the door opened and Ike stepped out.
“Morning.”
*Morning. Looks like winter’s finally arrived.*
“Looks like.” Buck glanced at the sky. “Might be a cold one.”
Smiling Ike shook his head. *Hasn’t been a cold winter in nearly twelve years. Despite the temperature, its going to be a warm winter.*
Catching his meaning Buck laughed softly, “Very warm. You gonna feed the barn stock or do you want me to?”
*I’ll feed this morning, you wake Kid up and see about going out to the pond, the horses and cattle on the range might like a drink of water.*
“I’ll see you back here in an hour then.” Buck said and stepped off the porch to walk over to the house that Kid and Lou shared with their children. Glancing around he knew that they’d come full circle, just about everyone was home and for that he was grateful. Glancing skyward at the slight breeze that ruffled his long hair and brushed across his skin he smiled, they’d done it, they’d made peace and for the first time in years the restlessness, the urge to move on was quiet, and still allowing him to feel free and the happiness of a man satisfied with his life.

the End

**Author's Note: Destardi would like to acknowledge Christa for all of her help in beta reading the story!

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