A/N: deals with implied mature material or thematic themes. If you have a problem with these topics please do not read any further. Chapter One The sharp sting of something hitting his chest knocked Ike from the saddle even as he struggled against the rapidly approaching darkness within his vision. Hitting the ground he barely felt the bone jarring connection, instead his mind was focused on the speedily disappearing horse. Hearing hoof beats he struggled to stay awake even as a warm, heavy weight seemed to drag him under and the darkness won. Surfacing slightly Ike felt the shifting of a wagon bed beneath him even as he slid back into the darkness of unconsciousness. The next time he awoke the terrain was different, rougher, steeper, and the thick columns of the trees rose toward the blue sky above him. The muted tones of several men and the clanking of spurs, bits, and rigging ran together to create a dull, confusing echo in his mind as he slid back into sleep. "Get him inside," the low baritone belonged to a rather tall, overweight man who sat a large grey gelding. His fat stomach folded over his belt, hiding the elaborate buckle completely. Large, beefy hands rested on the saddle horn and his six gun that hung low for obvious reasons. Cold, grey eyes surveyed the area and fell to rest on the battered frame of an older woman who'd died sometime in the night. A sick, twisted little smirk crossed his face and he glanced back at the unconscious man. "Where's Tyler?" he snarled as he shifted his bulk. "Probably inside with the girl," one of the men grunted as he lifted the prone body out of the back of the wagon. He'd watched him for several days in Rock Creek, followed him on more than one run and discovered his inability to talk. After careful consideration Harley had finally agreed he was perfect; after all a mute couldn't scream anymore than the girl could. "I told him I didn't want her touched till we got back," dismounting the man grunted and stalked toward the shack. Jerking open the door he stepped inside and glanced around. Huddled in a corner, a chain around her wrists and around the support beam was the girl. Her dress was tore in more than one place and she had several bruises on her face. "Harley he in here?" the question had the girl stiffening but she remained silent. "Not as far as I can see. Best find him Marty or I'll have someone's liver for lunch." "Yes sir," Marty drawled dumping the unconscious man on the ground and stepping over him before heading back out the door. Cursing his younger brother Marty headed for the creek a few yards off, ignoring the body of the miner they'd killed, and barely glancing at the remains of the woman they'd toyed with for several days before Harley had decided that they needed someone else to play with. "Bind him tight. Don't wanna haveta trail him, take up too much of our fun time," Harley ordered and looked at the girl. Despite the lack of a bath, and a comb for her dark hair she was a pretty little thing. Young, probably same age as his daughter back home - the one thing that would keep his boys off her. "He bother you whilst we was gone?" he grunted as he moved toward her. The girl shook her head firmly, terror in her eyes even as she stared back at him. The red welt around her neck had healed slightly, but Harley knew the damage had been done. Her voice had been ruined, and she could barely talk much less scream. Glancing at the young man to his right he smiled, yep they were gonna have some fun. None of his boys were gonna hang for hurting the young girl, but this feller would. Besides as he'd discovered in the past few days watching was more fun than doing at times. ******* Sitting in the dankness of the shack Beth stared at the young man they'd chained to her leg and the wall. He was young, not more than seventeen or eighteen she figured with a kind face. He had obviously lost his hair, if the bare scalp she glimpsed was any indication and his clothes although well worn were in good condition. A slight bruise on his temple told her he'd hit his head at one point but other than that his face was unmarred. Feeling an instant liking for the boy, Beth inhaled and shifted uneasily. Closing her eyes as she remembered listening to her mother's garbled screams, and the crude talk of the man they'd left to watch over her Beth knew that she'd be lucky to escape with her life. Shifting as her companion struggled into an upright position, Beth tensed and waited. Being young didn't mean being stupid and she knew whatever they had planned would happen with her new companion. She wondered how long it had been since that horrible day when they'd ridden in terrifying everyone and everything at the mine. Closing her eyes she turned her head away as she realized that time had long since lost what little meaning it had. There would be no mercy for her, or the young man who now lay tied to her. They would share the same fate of that Beth was certain. ******* Groaning silently Ike pulled himself into a rather awkward upright position and glanced around uneasily. Taking in the shabby interior of the shack he noted that the streams of sunlight were bright and figured it to be closer to mid-day than midnight. The soft rustle of cotton mixed with chains had him shifting his attention to the huddled figure a few feet away from him. Dark hair tangled and unwashed surrounded a pale face that bore the evidence of abuse. Mottled bruises covered one side of her face, a split lip, and the obvious scowering of a rope marred her pale throat. Her dress, or what was left of the once pretty calico hung in tattered shreds around her figure revealing pale, silky skin to the sun and his gaze. Guessing her age to be no more than sixteen Ike sighed and glanced around uneasily fear making him edgy. Raising a hand to his head he blinked as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Finding a chain around his neck he glanced sharply at the wall where it extended from. "Its locked. You're shackled to me and the wall," the soft, tearful whisper drew his attention back to the young woman. *Where are we?* he signed then shrugged it was unlikely she'd understand him. Most people he'd encountered didn't understand sign language at all. "Silver Point, Kansas. This was my Pa's claim until they showed up," the whisper was forced, her voice crackling and breaking as she struggled with speech. The angry red welt around her neck revealing the reason for her strangled speech. Noting the dirt floor, Ike scraped his name into the loose dirt and pointed to his chest. Heartened when the girl smiled he watched for a moment. "I'm Beth," she whispered softly into the still air. Ike nodded as he acknowledged her words. Perhaps he'd found an alliance in the girl stuck in this madness. "Looks like our friends are awake!" The chortle had both of them glancing sharply at the doorway where the tall, fat figure stood eying them. Ike surveyed the man standing in the doorway. He was big, bigger than any man he'd ever seen including Ulysses. His greasy, stringy hair hung past his shoulders in a tangled mess. An unpleasant odor permeated the air about him even as he moved toward them his lusty gaze settling on the girl who cringed visibly beneath it! "I imagine you two's getting pretty curious huh?" the man chuckled showing his black, rotted teeth, and tobacco stained lips clearly for the both of them to see, "Well we's gonna have us some fun is all! See this is how its gonna work," he drawled looking between them. "We're gonna tell you to do something and if you don't do it," he looked pointedly at the girl before glancing at the bald mute, "She's gonna suffer. All that pretty skin, be a pity to mar it. Don't you think? After all fire is such a powerful motivator. You do what you're told she don't get burnt, you refuse we'll see how well she likes the flames." "Please, just let us go!" the girl pleaded tearfully tugging on her chains. "We ain't done nothin' to you. There ain't even anything of value around here!" "Hmm," Harley appeared to think it over before shrugging and rising to his feet. He wasn't after gold, no sir. He was after something far more precious to him. With a sick, twisted grin he shook his head. "Ain't had us a good time in a while. Not since your Ma gave out anyways. You might just make it out alive if you cooperate." *Let the girl go. She don't deserve this,* Ike signed, not really expecting any of them to understand. Harley shook his head at the boy's waving of his hands, "Come on dummy. Best get up you're gonna be busy for a while!" Casting a glance at his new room mate, Ike sighed. It didn't look as though they were going to get out of this any time soon. The sinking sensation in his gut had him wishing the boys and Lou were close by. Hearing movement outside he straightened even as the hitched breathing from close by reminded him of the girl. Barely sparing her a glance as the door opened Ike glanced down carefully and noted his gun was gone. From the looks of the two men standing watching them, the gates of Hell were about to be opened for the second time in his life! Chapter Two Glancing up at the sounds from the shack the boys shifted, rising and heading toward their boss. The promise of a good show had lightened their mood and the way Harley had explained things had made them a little more inclined to like the arrangement. Still it was a bother that more than one had wondered about. "Well time for some fun. Huh boss?" Marty chuckled and nudged his brother who'd been rather unhappy at the thought of not getting a crack at the young girl. The promise of a good show had however changed his opinion and he was looking forward to watching the mute dummy violate the girl. Struggling against his captor's grip Ike jerked at the hands propelling him toward the doorway even as he was shoved roughly forward. Stumbling slightly he blinked at the sudden addition of bright sunlight even as he felt the chain tighten slightly before the girl brushed against him. "Listen up you two. You do what we tell you to and maybe you'll get dinner tonight," the man barked with a light laugh. "From here on out you won't be needin' those clothes. Shuck em, and make it fast. If'n you need some he'p Marty here'll be glad to he'p you out." A sucked in breath reminded Ike of his companion even as the shock reverberated through him. What could they possibly want with their clothes? Granted it was only late autumn but still to be naked? Feeling the shudder that raced through the girl's body he glanced at her once more and noted the fear in her eyes as she glanced sharply away from the men. Following her gaze, Ike felt his stomach drop at the figure laying on the ground a short distance away. "C'mon dummies, we ain't got all day," Harley snapped angrily as his cohort reached ever and grabbed a handful of the tattered calico dress. The sound of fabric tearing was overshadowed by the echo of the chains rattling and the garbled, damaged scream of the young girl. "Best hurry it up boy, Marty seems a might impatient." With cold fingers Ike reached for the top bottom of his shirt his gaze darting to the girl's then away. Pulling his shirt off he tossed it onto the ground at his feet and swallowed even as the men's laughter began to filter around the camp. Whatever they had planned it wouldn't be good for either of them. Watching what was left of his clothes smoldering on the campfire, Ike shivered slightly despite the warmth of the sun. Sliding a glance toward the young girl Ike noted the way she was hunched over, using her long hair to hide her nudity in some ways, although he didn't for one minute believe that she felt covered. "Now then," Harley moved over to the fire to sit down. Taking a cup of coffee from one of the boys he pondered the situation. In his mind it was plain, easy, simple but the boys all wanted to throw their two cents in on this and working 'round them would be tricky. "I'm an understandin' fella. So I'll explain exactly what I want you to do there dummy." Ike swallowed harshly at the dark glare in the man's eyes. Obvious whatever he wanted from him it wasn't going to be fun or right. Wishing that he was back home with the others, Ike shifted slightly even as a soft autumn breeze whispered over his exposed skin. "You're gonna do what we won't," Harley chuckled, "Ain't that right boys?" Amid a chorus of agreement and raucous laughter Ike felt the brush of soft skin against his arm and glanced at the young woman to his right. *What do you want?* Ike signed angrily even as they laughed harder at him. Ignoring the pointing and the crude jokes at him, Ike waited impatiently a bad feeling in his stomach. "You're gonna take this here little sprig of a thing. And you're gonna do it now, or else you'll find out how bad things can go for both of you," Harley said amid whistles and laughter. With a firm shake of his head, Ike glared at the man but didn't move. He'd be hanged if he'd hurt a girl, any girl for any reason. He'd never taken anyone without their permission and he wasn't about to start. "Don't believe me?" Harley asked as the young man stood glaring at him a mulish, unwilling look upon his face. When the young man did nothing but stand there staring at him Harley shrugged. "Well then we'll see." With a slight nod, he leaned back against the log and waited. His boys would make things interesting and he hazarded a guess that the young man would be more than willing shortly. Wincing at the first few blows, he watched the panicked expression on the girl's face, noting the way she seemed to be struggling not to cry even as his boys beat the young man soundly. "Enough," Harley barked for a moment before moving to the young man who lay wheezing, and bleeding on the ground. "You gonna do it now?" Ike shook his head firmly despite the fact that his entire body, especially his head ached fiercely. Pushing against he ground in hopes of getting off his stomach, Ike sucked in a deep breath ignoring the pain of his battered frame. "Oh come on boss, let us take her," Tyler drawled watching the commotion with undisguised longing. He wanted the girl or at least that's what he was tellin' the boys. If they knew where his interests were, they'd string him up as easily as they'd shot that old miner. No, he'd just bide his time until he got what he was after. "No," Harley shook his head firmly. "We got us a plan and we stick to it. As it stands nobody's got anything to hang us on. We dispose of those bodies and they'd never know. That young woman there would mean they'd do more than just hang us. We'd probably spend a good chunk of time in jail before they killed us. I ain't hanging for nobody! Hush up Tyler." Frustrated with the situation, Tyler whirled around and kicked the young man as hard as he could in the ribs, knocking him back into the dirt even as the girl began to cy in earnest. "Stop! You're gonna kill him," Beth pleaded moving to protect Ike with her slim frame. "Leave him alone!" "All he's got to do is exactly what we say and we'll leave him be," Harley chuckled as the girl knelt next to the boy. The way she wiped at the blood revealed her caring personality and Harley had to admire her grit. Many youngsters in her position would have done things differently, fought hard, cried, begged for themself, she'd remained stoically silent until they'd picked on the dummy. With a shrug he shifted, maybe the dummies stuck together or something. Pushing the thought aside for later, Harley looked at the girl. "Your choice. See if'n you can talk him around to it." Beth wiped at the tears on her face and helped Ike to his feet as much as she could considering her stature. "Please, don't do this Ike," she whispered softly looking at him. "They'll kill you." Ike shook his head and looked at her. He wouldn't hurt her that way, not in this life. It wasn't who he was. "It's okay," Beth shrugged at his stubborn expression. She knew that they'd find some way to have their perverse fun with or without their cooperation. The mere thought of any of those men touching her, invading her was enough to make her sick. "I don't want you to get hurt anymore." Ike shook his head, *I won't do it. Ain't proper and it ain't the way I am.* Shaking her head slightly Beth sighed, "Ike we don't have a choice. If we don't do it they'll just think of something else to torture us with. I don't want you to get hurt anymore." Blinking against the pain in his battered body Ike stared at her, there was no way she could possibly understand what they wanted. She was too young, too sheltered to really understand and it pained him. He didn't know how to make her understand. "I'd rather it be you," Beth whispered softly shuddering slightly at the slight movement behind her. "I couldn't handle the things they'd do to me." Slapping his chest, Ike shook his head firmly. He didn't want her to get hurt, but then he didn't want a lot of things in this life that had happened. With a hitching breath, Ike struggled to remain standing even as he felt the waves of dizziness come and go. Turning to what was obviously the leader of the gang, Beth sucked in a breath for courage. "He needs a few moments to regain his strength, that is if you want your fun." Harley took a breath before nodding glancing at Marty, "Get some water and a clothe. Let the girl clean him up. A bit of a rest will make all the difference." Marty nodded quickly and grabbed the bucket. With a swift glance at the pair he headed for the creek and a bucket full of cold, clear water. A few minutes one way or the other wouldn't make no difference. ******* Sitting in the shade with a scrap of what had once been her dress, Beth bathed the bloody wounds on Ike's face and chest. Wincing as the water trailed slowly over, smooth tanned skin Beth knew it had to be hurting Ike like hell but he didn't make even a whimper or wince once. "Trust me, Ike," Beth whispered softly. "The more we fight them the worse it's going to get. I don't want them to kill you, if they do I'll be alone.." Ike sighed, the thought of Beth on her own with these men scared him even more than the thought of hurting her. He knew that if they killed him she'd be at their mercy and he didn't think she'd get away with her life much less any semblance of her dignity. Nodding slowly he smiled crookedly at her and felt a little easier as she smiled back at him with an understanding look in her eyes. Regardless of what happened, they'd survive this or die together. Chapter Three Glancing down the road Buck shifted uneasily. Ike was due in from his last run and Buck couldn't shake the bad feeling he had. Glancing up sharply at the sound of hoof beats he eyed the bay horse galloping toward them. Smiling in relief, Buck watched the rider come into the yard and toss the mochilla at another rider before dismounting. The stilted way he got down had the relieved feeling fading and Buck glanced at the door to the bunkhouse as it opened slowly to reveal Kid standing there. "Where's Ike?" Kid asked quickly looking at Buck then at the strange rider. "McSwain never showed up at Giffers Station, his horse came in with the mail but no Ike," the young man replied jerking his hat off and swiping it against his leg to knock off some dust. "Station master couldn't figure it out so I finished the run." "Means something happened between Harris Station and Giffers. I'm gonna go see if I can get a track," Buck declared and headed for the barn as Kid glanced behind him before heading for the barn as well. Saddling up, Buck glanced down the line of horses at the familiar ease with which his friends saddled up. Smiling slightly Buck paused, "This is only too familiar guys." "Lets find Ike," Kid said leading Katy out of the barn and swinging into the saddle. "Where are you bunch off to?" Teaspoon's voice barely had them pausing. "To find Ike. He never made it to Giffers Station," Jimmy explained as he checked his guns and gathered his reins. "Could just of slipped a shoe." "His horse made it but he didn't. If he's hurt out there I ain't about to leave him," Buck replied sharply. "Neither are we. He's one of us," Lou drawled as she tightened her grip on her mount. "He'd do no less for us." "Best be careful," Teaspoon advised. "Don't get yourselves killed or I'll string ya up myself." "Sure Teaspoon," Noah replied swiftly. "We'll be as careful as we always are." "That's what I'm afraid of!" Teaspoon muttered as the riders galloped out of the yard. Standing there watching them he felt a shiver race down his spine, whoever or whatever had happened to Ike had better watch out. His boys and girl stood together and faced whatever came their way with ease. He'd seen it from the first time Ike had had a problem back when he'd witnessed the brutal murders back in Sweetwater - his boys had just stared him down and gone on with their business like family did. "That half-breed can track good?" the rider drawled spitting out the last of his water. "Better than anyone else I know," Teaspoon drawled looking at the young man. "But that's irrelevant to you. Seein' as how they've gone on official business as my deputies, you'd best get some rest. There are chores to do around here." "Uh.." the young man stood in shock and stared as the older Station master and Marshall walked away an unreadable expression on his face. ******* Pushing the horses hard, Buck pulled up suddenly and dismounted. Experienced eyes scanned the ground easily, hands familiar with the motions touched prints many would have passed by. Reading the land, Buck began to feel the pounding of pure rage in his blood, the need for answers gathering like a wave before crashing over him with untamed fury. Someone had hurt Ike and they would pay for it. "You find something?" Jimmy asked quickly noting Buck's posture and the sudden tension in his shoulders. "Yeah, something or someone knocked him from his horse. You can tell by the way the horse jerked to a halt and then he hit the ground before his horse ran off. There were six horses that showed up, they headed south." "How long ago?" "Nearly a week. One horse carried him out. See where the indentations are deeper than when they arrived. If I was guessing I'd say they were laying in wait for him." "But why? I mean if they didn't take the mail, what could they possibly have wanted with Ike?" Noah frowned as he glanced down the southern direction. It didn't make any sense to kidnap the rider and leave the mail unless they were after Ike for some reason. "I don't know," Buck said mounting easily in one smooth motion. "But I intend finding out." "Damn it," Kid grunted and shifted. "This is downright scary. If they're pickin' riders off what's next." "Lets just find 'em. Once we do we can get answers." Jimmy drawled angrily as he fingered the reins in his hand. For someone to hurt one of them was reason enough for him to get gun happy. Ike had better be alive or whoever had taken him was going to die slowly and painfully! "South it is then," Buck said coldly and with a glance at the tracks nudged his mount into a lope down the nearly invisible trail. ******* Shivering, listening to the soft sobs of the young woman laying next to him Ike wrapped his arms around his legs and prayed hard for someone to help. Four days of degradation and pain were enough to drive even the most even tempered person mad. He longed for a gun or a knife or something with which to kill himself to end this torture. The men who'd taken them hostage were sick perverts driven to increasingly disgusting things that made Ike feel sick. He could only imagine what the young woman felt and he blamed himself for her discomfort. He'd long since given up on trying to keep clean, instead both of them had blood, dirt, and other excrement on their skin. Yet deeper than the surface filth was the darkness of guilt, of a useless, self-loathing feeling that contaminated him more than the dirt. *I'm so sorry,* Ike signed as he turned to her. *I wish I could make 'em stop, make this end.* "None of us can," Beth whispered painfully her body wracked by the shudders and coughs from the abuse she'd suffered. "They'll get theirs soon enough I reckon." *I can understand if you hate me. I don't particularly like myself right now anyway.* The girl smiled shakily and shook her head, "I'm cold. Can I sit against you?" she asked sitting up slightly before diving into his arms and snuggling against the only solid foundation in a world rocked with violence and pain. Harley had shown his impatience when they didn't move as fast as he wanted, and often both of them felt the sting of a whip across their backs. Ike had taken more than one beating to protect her, but it hadn't only been on him. She'd awakened one morning to see Tyler watching them and the look in his eyes had made her sick. He'd been watching Ike and Beth had shuddered and moved a little closer to him. In the face of the insanity around them, they'd struggled to keep their sanity a hard task to accomplish. Ike nodded slightly and opened his arms to let her snuggle against him. As part of their sport, their captors had refused to give them back any clothes and nights were cold especially with no fire, and nothing to cover their nakedness with. Ike began to wonder if the elements wouldn't kill them before their captors. *They have to get bored soon. How much more can they think of?* He signed into the night. After all they'd forced him to take her more times than was right or fair. Forced her to accept him regardless of how sore she was or how uncomfortable it was. The one time she'd refused, that she'd struggled and been unwilling to follow their instructions Harley, the obvious leader had taken a whip to Ike. Beating him even more badly than the first beating, so badly that the others had started questioning him about getting a turn on her again. After that when they said do it, they did it regardless of comfort. "How long has it been?" Beth whispered softly to Ike. She didn't think of the lack of clothing, the filth that covered both their bodies at being forced to couple in the dirt like animals, or the gnawing hunger that rumbled through her body. Instead she counted the days, the hours until darkness fell and the reprieve would start. *Four days. Tomorrow'll be the fifth.* Neither Beth nor Ike really considered the ease with which she'd taken to watching his hands, or the apparent understanding. The mere fact that they were communicating, that they were surviving was enough for them. "I'm sorry about this," Beth whispered, tearfully her voice trembling with emotion. "I'm afraid I wasn't much of a fighter." *Don't matter.* Ike signed shifting at the stinging reminder that came from his back and legs. *I'm only sorry that we had to meet under such circumstances.* "I'm glad to have met you, regardless of the circumstance," Beth smiled tearfully as she snuggled into his warmth. Sharing body heat was the only way they could survive the nights and she wondered how much longer before the men lost interest in their game and killed them. She prayed it would be soon, she wasn't too sure how much longer she could stand to do what they were telling her to. Closing her eyes she shivered at the shameful way she'd given in. What good girl in her right mind would willingly do what she'd done to survive. No, death was better than life now, no man in his right mind would want a woman so soiled. Hearing footsteps both of them tensed until the sounds faded into the darkness. Propped against each other they dozed in the darkness, wishing for the light of day and yet hating it. Hating the violence and torment that came with it. Glancing through the darkness at the girl in his arms Ike sighed, there was no escape for them. Not as long as they wore the chains that bound them to this hell on earth. If they'd been wearing rope he could have worked it loose, worked a way out until they'd escaped. But they weren't, and he couldn't. He'd think of something, he'd get them out of this if it killed him! ******* "I swear to God whoever took him is going to die a very painful death," Cody grunted as he stepped up the steep incline, all but dragging his reluctant horse behind him. Day in day out pushing the horses wasn't anything new to him but to be following the trail left by whoever had taken his friend was getting a rise out of him. They'd covered a lot of rough ground, and this incline was surely meant to deter anyone who was looking for them Cody thought but they obviously didn't know who Ike's friends were! "I think we're all agreed on that," Buck replied softly as he waited for the others. Looking around he frowned, the horses had obviously stopped here and it looked like a wagon had been waiting for them. Obviously this had been planned but by who and why? Noting the direction the wagon had taken he smiled slightly to himself, they were making the trail easier instead of harder. "You look thoughtful," Lou said softly as she stopped next to him. "The riders joined up with a wagon. Whoever they were they had this planned, they were coming to this wagon. Which means they're moving slower now." "How long we been on the road now?" Cody asked softly his brow furrowed curiously. "A week and a half. We're not losing any ground but we're not gainin' either. They obviously know this country." Buck sighed, "Sorry bout that detour guys. The trail just disappeared until I could find it again." "Like you said they know the country." "Yeah, and we don't." Jimmy sighed. "Which means that whoever it was that took him could be waiting for us." "No, I don't think so." Buck said looking around. "They got what they wanted, they aren't concerned with what's behind 'em." "I hate this! Ike's never done a damn thing to anyone to deserve this!" Kid snarled angrily and swung into the saddle. "We'll just have to pick up the pace. We've got to be getting closer to 'em." "Wagon tracks are almost two weeks old Kid. Could be we're following a ghost," Buck suggested softly his voice laced with pure rage. "Either way I'll find 'em." "You find 'em Buck and we'll help kill 'em," Cody declared easily and mounted up to push onward. He barely noticed the looks of agreement and assent on the other's faces as they moved out. Despite their civility none of them would rest until those who'd wronged a family member were punished - something Teaspoon had obvious reason to fear. Chapter Four *Its been a couple of hours huh?* Ike signed to Beth as they sat huddled by the back of the wagon. Beth's wrists were still red and raw from where they'd laced them to the wheel and Ike had fresh welts and a couple of burns on his body from refusing to take her the way they'd wanted, instead taking her the only way he'd allow himself. "My whole body hurts Ike. I feel like I'm a hundred years old," Beth admitted softly and looked at him sadly. "Only good thing that I can say is that it wasn't one of them that took my innocence." Ike shuddered at the memory of taking her virginity that day. He could still hear her sobs, feel the tension in her body, still see the faint traces of blood on her legs and he felt sick about it. Of course their captors had merely laughed and passed money around amongst themselves along with a bottle of whiskey. Course they'd also poured a good portion of it on them and laughingly said it was their 'bath'. Feeling a fresh wave of anger rise up, Ike shifted moving closer to Beth. In the insanity that had ensued they'd learned to rely on each other for their sanity, and their survival. Ike was still amazed at the fact that she tolerated his touch, his presence considering he was the one who'd hurt her so many times but she just shrugged and smiled softly, kindly at him. Said it wasn't like he was doing it on purpose; it was a fair exchange one hurt for another. After all she'd hurt him to. She was the obvious reason they'd taken him, and forcing him to betray himself was never good. Besides she liked him, trusted him and anything was better than any of those men! So it was that the act of caring, the little things like sharing water, and the spare rations that they were given had developed a friendship. Maybe they were both mad, maybe they had lost what little bit of humanity, of innocence that they'd ever possessed, Ike didn't know and he wasn't too proud to accept it at face value. Experience had taught him that when you found a friend you didn't question it, you accepted it and clung to that friendship like a lifeline. Friends, true friends were few and far behind. Seeing movement, Ike tensed as Tyler the one loose cannon amongst the men started their way with an only too familiar glint in his eye. Not being dumb Ike was only to aware of the fact that Tyler was the one who'd roughed Beth up before they dumped him in the shack with her. He'd heard Marty and Harley talkin' bout how Tyler was always dropping hints at wanting to get a crack at the girl and it made him sick. Tyler was the one that both he and Beth feared, the one who would do anything to obtain what he wanted. Ike had no illusions about the situation - these men would kill them it was just a matter of time. If they didn't the cold would soon enough, it had been the second morning in a row that there had been a heavy frost on the ground and Ike knew the first fall of snow wasn't too far off. *Trouble,* Ike signed desperately as Tyler knelt before them. "Well looks like you two got real comfy over here," he chuckled reaching out and trailing one grimy hand down Beth's face to her throat. "Sure hope you don't mind a third later since the boys are all going into town." Beth swallowed and jerked away from his touch, curling up tighter to Ike and staring in fury and horror at the man eying her so familiarly. When he made to touch her again she kicked at him, catching him in the chest and sending him flying onto his backside to the laughter of the rest of his cohorts. "Leave her be Tyler," Marty called laughing at his brother. "She ain't for you." "Aw come on fellas. She's a woman, she's handy. Why can't I?" "Cause I said so," Harley growled angrily as he took another swig of whiskey. "You touch her and I'll shoot you." "Sheesh, the dummy gets all the fun." "This has to end soon," Beth whispered softly to herself. "I can't do this any more." *Boys are going into town right?* Ike looked at her seriously. *This stops as soon as Tyler's asleep. We're getting outta here.* Beth nodded, trusting him to come up with something that would get both of them out of there intact. Jumping slightly when a canteen was tossed at them she picked it up and took a long drink before passing it onto Ike. Crawling into the shadows under the wagon, she curled into a ball and lay there. Gulping down the cool water from the canteen, Ike pulled it from his lips and set it next to the wheel. Laying in the dirt beneath the wagon, Beth was curled around herself, her eyes staring straight ahead, a fine tremble racing through her body. With both arms wrapped around herself to cover her nudity as best she could, she tried to keep her teeth from chattering. Tortured grey eyes met his as she moved slightly. They'd learned the first day to drink the water, not wash with it. A full canteen of water would last them the entire day and there was no guarantee of getting more the next day. More than anything, clothes, food even, water had become a precious commodity to them. "Hey you two," Harley called with a chuckle as he sat watching them. "How 'bout a bath?" Not expecting a reply he wasn't surprised when he didn't get so much as a twitch from them. With a snort he glanced at Marty, "Take 'em down to the creek. They're beginning to stink up the place." "Sure boss," Marty rose taking his rifle with him as he walked over to the wagon. Loosening the ropes that bound the pair he tugged 'em to their feet. "If you'd rather stink up your shack," he prompted quickly, stepping back even as he noted the way the young man put himself between him and the girl. Granted Marty wasn't much for caring 'bout the age of a woman he wanted to take but frankly he just wasn't interested in the girl. She was too young, too much a baby for his taste. Rather he preferred a more seasoned woman, someone well broke in or a professional that knew her trade. That said he wasn't above having a little fun and these two's performances were providing it. Ushering them down to the creek, he smirked. "Best wash up. Might be the last chance you get for a bit." Standing between their guard and Beth, Ike scrubbed with sand from the creek bed. Feeling the icy water washing away the blood, dirt, and filth from his body Ike wondered what the boys were doing. He wished they were here, that they could help him but knew he was the only one who could get both Beth and himself to safety. Washing quickly thankful for the shield Ike provided, Beth slid deeper into the cold water letting the current push her about. The cool water soothed the aches, the welts, and burns and eased the tension from muscles even as it cleaned away the tell-tale signs of her ordeal. Sighing she floated on the current, careful to keep the trail in sight even as Tyler appeared. "Boss says bring 'em back up," Tyler said smiling at the girl who shivered and moved behind the bald boy. "Dinner's ready and he wants to go over the plans." he declared easily even as his gaze settled on the young boy and a slight, twisted little smile curled his lips. His plans were going to be long, and a lot of fun for him if the other's would just get the hell into town. "Good I'm starvin'. Watcha get?" "Young buck. Fried it up with some biscuits," Tyler said watching the boy easily. "Harley figures the bank's gonna be a good haul." "Good," Marty glanced at his brother. "You wanna little fun tonight? Ain't nobody gonna know, besides it ain't like its her first time." Tyler laughed at his brother's words, how little he knew, "I know. What the boss don't know won't hurt. Besides I've been itchin' to get my hands on her all week." "Exactly. You best keep a low profile until we're gone. You get caught, he'll shoot you." "Yeah, yeah. I know," Tyler eyed the girl with naked lust. He'd make the dummy do her first. Then he'd do the dummy. Adjusting the fit of his jeans, Tyler led the way back to camp his mind working feverishly on his fantasies. The cold fingers of the water were nothing in comparison to the chill Beth felt at the thought of Tyler touching her. A glance at Ike revealed a thoughtful expression mixed with disgust and rage and Beth began to wonder what would happen when everyone was gone! Wondered who Tyler was more interested in from the lust in his gaze as he eyed Ike. Once more bound together with thick ropes Beth lay still next to Ike. She could hear the men saddling up, their laughter, their rough talk. Stifling a shudder she snuggled closer to Ike and remained silent and motionless as the sound of riders faded into nothing. Tense beyond anything he'd ever felt before, Ike sat staring at the door a fine rage boiling within his blood. The thought of how Tyler had been looking at Beth earlier and the crude promises filled his mind stoking the already inflamed temper. "Well looks like its just us three," Tyler stepped into the shack and eyed the pair who glared back at him with barely leashed hostility and rage. In the soft grey eyes he noted a hint of fear but even that was pale compared to the anger. "We're gonna have us some fun now. Course you're gonna have to 'share' your prize there dummy," he chortled kicking at Ike and earning a glare from Beth. "Its real simple, you should be able to pick it up real fast. I've done it lots of times before. Get up both of you, outside now." Jerking their ropes Tyler led them out into the yard and over to the wagon box. Pulling some more rope from it he bound Beth's hands to the wheel before glancing at Ike who'd remained standing a dark look in his eyes. With a swift kick and the tightening of the grip on Ike's rope he forced him to his knees. "Alright, here's how its going to work. You be good little boy now and.." Tyler's short bark of laughter was cut off by Beth's struggles. Turning toward the girl he smiled, "Trust me darlin' once you've taken him this way you'll never go back." Meeting Ike's gaze fearfully Beth swallowed harshly against the fear. She knew what he was going to do, knew that this newest violation was going to be worse than all the others. Closing her eyes at the sharp tug on her heart she squeaked a protest when her hair was pulled tight and her head tilted back. Moaning and struggling as Tyler forced her to kiss him she tugged violently on the ropes binding her hands even as she felt a familiar touch on her hip. Struggling even harder she felt the ropes cut into her wrists, felt the warmth of her blood soaking her skin until there was a damp trail that eased one loop over her hand. Twisting the rope on the ground quickly, Ike pulled his hands free of Beth's body and rose. Keeping the tension tight he jerked the rope over Tyler's head when he broke the 'kiss' and pulled it taught, twisting it at the back of his neck for added leverage. Holding Tyler tightly, Ike put his knee in the man's back and pulled, bending him backward and making it harder for him to struggle. The quick dart of movement within his field of vision had Ike glancing at Beth for a moment. The rage and fear in her gaze tore at his heart and he pulled tighter, twisting the rope even more. "Have fun with this," Beth hissed running the large, rather ugly looking blade of Tyler's own knife through his stomach. Jumping back Beth watched Tyler hit the ground and glanced around. As long as he was still breathing he was a danger to them. Noting the chopping block a short distance away and the axe that was sunk into it she darted for it. The sound of bones breaking echoed in the rapidly cooling air even as the sun sat perched atop the horizon bathing the camp in its golden glow. Driven by the fear and rage of a mind forced to endure endless horrors, Beth hit him again and again with the axe until she was too tired to even lift it again. Leaving it sunk into his body she dropped to the ground and sobbed openly, brokenly. Cutting through the ropes that still bound them Ike sat next to Beth and held her. Rocking gently as she sobbed her heart out. Each sob, each hiccuped breath like a dagger driven into his flesh and Ike swore he'd keep her safe from everyone and every thing in this world including himself. Exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally Ike glanced around uneasily. Despite it only being dusk he felt certain that their captors would be back soon. He knew that in their present condition they wouldn't get far but they had to try. *Beth we need clothes. Do you know if you can find something for you to wear?* Ike signed and glanced with disdain at Tyler's still body. The pants would fit him but the shirt he'd leave behind. "Ma had some in a trunk hid out in the shack. I don't know if anything'd fit though." *Get 'em. We can't stay here. They'll be coming back.* "I'll see what I can find." Beth scrambled to her feet and all but ran for the trunk. Racing over to the dark corner she pulled the rubble away and lifted the lid of the trunk. Pulling her mother's summer clothes out she dressed in a plain camisole, petticoat and woolen skirt. Taking the jacket and scarf she rolled 'em up together in the large shawl her mother had worn creating a small bundle of outer wear. Grabbing the heavy woolen jacket her father had worn last winter she pulled it out and wrapped it into the shawl before tying it all together and rising onto shaky legs. "This is all I could find. There were no shoes but I found you a coat," Beth said softly and frowned before darting back inside to dig a little deeper. Pulling out the white dress shirt she shook it out and went to meet Ike. "Here this ain't the best thing in the world but it's warmer than nothing I guess." Ike nodded quickly and pulled it on. Leaving it unbuttoned he tensed at the sound of hooves on rocks before grabbing her hand and racing for the creek. Slipping and sliding down the path Ike stumbled once before catching himself. Poor Beth didn't have it so easy, her feet kept slipping on the loose sand and rocks. Finally standing panting on the edge of the creek Beth looked at him and he wondered how they'd survive. With a smile, one he hoped was reassuring Ike stepped into the cold water and sucked in a breath in shock at the temperature. Holding onto Beth's hand he glanced at her and noted her shrug. "There's a stand of pine and spruce half a mile upstream. There's a tangled mess of brambles within it that would provide a little shelter," Beth whispered and followed as Ike turned in that direction. *We have to try.* Beth nodded and stepped further into the water. Wincing at the chill she followed him up stream until they came to the familiar looking stand of trees. With the last of the fading light she led Ike into the tangled bows and branches. Settling on the ground she shivered, the woolen skirt was soaked, her feet were cut and raw, and there wasn't a place on her body that didn't ache. The faint but unmistakable rumble of hunger from her stomach revealed the gnawing hunger she knew Ike felt as well. Their last meal had been a few biscuits dipped in the pan drippings from the day before. A rather unsatisfying meal that had been all they'd had in two days. The gentle brushing of fingers through her hair soothed even as it disturbed She knew many would blame the young man she'd put her faith in, but she didn't. Perhaps it was foolish, or petty, but Ike had become the one constant in her world. With him nearby she felt secure, felt comfortable enough to rest and that was a valuable asset as far as Beth was concerned. In his own way Ike was as much a victim as she was. Perhaps even more so, such crimes never happened to men, at least not admittedly. After all what man would admit that he'd been forced into having sex with someone? For a man such as Ike who lived by a code of honor rare in many men, being forced to hurt her would haunt him for a very long time. She didn't suppose he'd forgive himself anytime too soon. His self loathing didn't need any added burdens. Rather he deserved and needed the forgiveness and acceptance of one who understood that. With a tired sigh, Beth snuggled closer into his warmth and closed her eyes against her thoughts. Chapter Five "Well take the bank in the morning," Harley drawled nudging his mount up the trail easily. "First though we got to get rid of our little friends. Make it look like an accident or something. Don't need nobody to know what we did." "What about Tyler?" "Damn fool's got his itch scratched by now. No sense in punishing the boy." "We'll dump 'em in the mine. A cave-in sounds doable." "Do it tonight. We won't be back up here again." "I'll do it as soon as we get there," Marty declared with a smile. Tyler would be sore to have to do away with the girl but it couldn't be helped, they didn't need any witnesses alive. Trotting through the darkness they entered camp and froze. Tyler's mangled body lay next to the wagon and a tangle of ropes. The axe lay buried in his back and the flames of the campfire had burnt down to glowing coals. "What the hell?" Marty snapped rushing over to his brother. Looking around he swore, "Looks like we're gonna have to find 'em first. They go to the law we're gonna dangle from the gallows." "Two half starved kids," Harley mused and glanced behind him. "Well they didn't go down the trail into town. It ain't like they could have gotten very far, naked, shoeless, and it dark already. Gotta be close." "We should have killed 'em before we went to town," Marty drawled angrily. "Then we wouldn't be wasting our time trying to find 'em now." "Just find 'em!" Harley snarled angrily and dismounted quickly. Glancing at the other man Marty grabbed a blanket and tossed it over his brother. He'd bury him later, if he thought of it. ******* Staring into the flames of the roaring campfire, Buck wondered where Ike was. He'd never known the man to get himself into trouble like this, and he knew his friend needed him. "We'll find him," Kid spoke softly, soberly as he stared into his coffee cup. "We've been gainin' on them steadily. You said so yourself." "I know. Its just bothersome. I trust Ike, I just don't trust those that took him. It ain't like he's wealthy or powerful. He's an express rider for crying out loud!" "How long till we come upon them?" Jimmy asked quickly noting the darkness in Buck's eyes and feeling it to. "Should be there in the morning." Buck shifted and glanced up. "You realize we've rode well over a thousand miles since he disappeared? God why would they take him? And it's a good chance that they don't even have him anymore. They may have killed him by now." "I don't know," Lou shrugged and looked at her friend. To tell the truth she was just as worried as he was, maybe more so. Ike was a good man, one who worked hard, didn't drink, or carouse, and could be counted on to do what he had to. For someone to snatch him was unsettling. "But we'll get him back. He's family." Buck nodded at the softly worded statement and turned his attention back to the flames. Ike would do what he had to, to survive that much Buck knew. But would he be able to survive with the odds stacked against him? Sinking down into his saddle Buck pulled his hat down over his eyes and closed them. He'd know tomorrow and if Ike was dead, he'd show who ever killed him the high cost of their actions. ******* Rising with the dawn Buck remained silent as they saddled up and turned south. Keeping the horses at a fast jog they followed the older trail until it turned into a fresh one. Catching the freshness of the trail, Buck kicked his horse into a gallop aware the others followed him wordlessly. Mid-morning Kid pulled up in the small clearing and stared. The smoldering remains of a wagon lay by a shack that had obviously seen better days. The obvious scar of a campfire still smoldered in the yard and high above them the screech of the scavenger birds rang clearly. A further glance around the yard revealed the charred remains of a pile of clothes, a fresh grave was covered with rocks and yet there was a stench in the air that made him sick. "Trail ends here. Fresh one headed that way," Buck pointed to where the bubbling of a creek could be faintly heard. "Five riders all riding fresh horses. Looks like they're leaving the area the way they're riding." "Could be," Cody suggested hopefully holding his rifle across his saddle easily. "We don't know if he's even made it this far," Jimmy snapped angrily. "We should look around don't you think?" "Any delay and we risk losing them," Cody shot back crossly. "We can find out what we want to know when we catch them!" "Enough," Kid snapped and glared at the pair. "Jimmy, you and Noah can have a look round. See what you can find, we'll continue on ahead." "Sounds good." Noah agreed quickly, anything to stave off an argument. "Just watch yourselves." "Always do." Kid smiled slightly and trotted out of the yard and down the trail. Regardless, they needed answers and squabbling amongst themselves wouldn't get them any closer to a resolution. Pulling up next to the creek Buck glanced around for tracks and swore profusely in English and in Kiowa jerking hard on the reins, his horse snorted in protest even as the bay danced beneath him. "What's wrong?" "They went in the water. Ain't a single track anywhere. They rode in the water and I lost it." "Which direction you figure they went in?" "Hard to say. Could be either way, I do know this though. The track of the horse Ike was probably riding isn't amongst 'em. They split somewhere and unfortunately I don't know where they took him." "What do you think we should do then?" "Turn back," Buck whispered darkly. "Go home, wait. I failed," he replied seriously and whipped his horse's head around to kick him into a gallop. There was no point in sticking close, no way they'd find Ike here. He probably hadn't made it this far, and if he had then they'd taken him somewhere else but where he couldn't tell. Perhaps they could find the track somewhere along their back trail, clinging to that faint hope Buck headed back for Rock Creek. Chapter Six Pulling Beth with him, Ike glanced at the creek. It would cover their tracks but it was slow travel, especially with bare feet. The icy temperature didn't help and neither of them could afford to be ill. On the other hand if they went up to the rocky mesa head they would have a better chance of traveling quickly, undetected and they'd be able to see trouble coming. Wordlessly Beth followed him. There was really nowhere to go and if he wanted to keep moving she wouldn't complain. Coughing slightly she smiled weakly at him and struggled to keep up. Trudging through the dense undergrowth, Ike couldn't shake his fear that they would be discovered. Leaving the softer earth, he headed for the rocks. He doubted that any one of those outlaws could track on sheer rock and in that there would be safety. Glancing back he smiled slightly. Despite her battered body's exhaustion, and the lack of food Beth was determined to follow him. Her hands were covered in small cuts, mud, and earth and filled with her skirt. She used them to grab hold of the odd twig or root when her feet slipped but she remained undaunted. *How you holdin' up?* "I'll survive," Beth replied seriously as she stood panting next to him. "After all there is no rest for the wicked, is there?" Straightening she pushed at the loose hair around her face and glanced up the trail. *We'll get to the top today. Its all rock with good cover. We should have success.* "Lets hope," Beth whispered. Sucking in a deep breath she trudged along behind him. Her voice was more of a croak than anything, the damage from the ropes being pulled tight one too many times becoming obvious. Of course her screams and cries, and begging hadn't helped it any and she wondered if she'd be forced to be silent the rest of her life. Glancing at Ike she sighed, that wouldn't be a bad thing at all. Look at him, he'd survived and lived with that loss - so could she. Determined not to give victory to the outlaws Beth ground her teeth together and ignored the pain as she scrambled across the rocks after Ike. "Any idea where we're going?" Beth asked as they sat gasping for breath, weakened by the steady climb that had they been properly fed wouldn't have hardly even drawn a sweat. *Have to get home,* Ike replied seriously. *If we can get to Rock Creek we'll be safe.* "Where is Rock Creek?* *Nebraska Territory.* "Nebraska Territory is a long way from here Ike. At the rate we're going it could take months." *Then it'll take months,* Ike signed looking at her. *I won't let anyone hurt you Beth, not even me. Not again.* Beth nodded and looked at her hands as she tucked her skirt under her abused feet. "You've never hurt me Ike. Not once in all the time we've known each other." Ike stared at her like she'd grown two heads. *You must have hit your head or something. Don't you..* "You did what you had to keep us both alive. Taking my body is a small price to pay for that." *I hurt you plain..* Beth smiled and snuggled against him. "No Ike, no you didn't. What Tyler was going to do would have hurt me. What you did helped me. You've kept us alive and relatively unscathed. How can I hold you responsible for that?" Ike sighed softly, *You should have had the opportunity to marry some fella you loved and give yourself to him. Not have the choice stolen from you like this.* Beth sighed and rested her chin on her upright knees, "I knew what was going to happen Ike. I knew that sooner or later they'd get tired of Ma and turn to me for sport. I don't blame you, I blame them. And come what may I will not have you thinking you're like them. You didn't do it because it suited your purpose. You did it because you cared enough about me as a person, as a woman to want me to survive. There is no comparison!" *We've got a long walk ahead of us. Best get some rest,* Ike signed softly uneasily. Her ready acceptance of his actions did little to ease the wound on his soul. The brutality they'd lived through for the past week had scarred both of them in ways they had yet to fully understand. He didn't for one moment think that there wouldn't be consequences for his actions. But whatever the price was he was more than willing to pay. His sanity, his self-worth was forever linked to the woman sitting next to him. Too far, Beth thought uneasily. It was too far to walk without getting caught. With a slight sigh she lay back and closed her eyes, the shawl, and thin jacket her only barriers against the autumn's chill. Long after Beth had found refuge in her sleep Ike lay next to her watching, listening for trouble until his body couldn't fight it any longer and he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. ******* Dawn found Ike gathering some berries and edible roots before he woke Beth up. Eating on the run, they kept to the rocks as much as possible until Ike called a halt at mid-day. *We're going in the wrong direction.* Ike signed angrily. *We need to go north not further south.* "Then we'll go north, its okay Ike," Beth replied tiredly. *No it ain't! I ain't doing this right!* Beth sighed, "Yes you are Ike. Now calm down and we'll start going north. The trail turns here and we'll just follow it north. Come on, its okay!" Beth promised as she tugged on his arm, all but dragging him down the appropriate trail. Day in, day out struggling to find enough to survive on Ike and Beth kept moving driven as much by what was behind them as what was in front of them. The niggling doubts each carried weren't voiced, their fear at failure was never given life as they moved through the rapidly gathering winter. Finding shelter in odd places, many nights Ike spent dozing as he listened for some sign of capture. ******* After days of endless walking Ike noted the cuts and bruises on Beth's feet despite being wrapped in straw and clothe. The grey light of dusk saw him awake and gathering himself. Moving silently he left her sleeping in a small alcove that wasn't big enough for anyone else to get into. Ike headed out to scout a path to the nearest place where there were women. Hunkered down in the edge of the trees he smiled slightly. Sitting in a clearing was a sleepy little town that looked like it had seen better days. He could see the general store's back door and glanced around uneasily. Slouched down out of sight he waited until it was dark before he crept into town. Moving through the shadows he used an old skill long since retired until he came to where he wanted to be. Making short work of the lock he slipped inside and moved through the shelving. Gathering a couple of pairs of woolen socks, one pair of ladies shoes, and two pairs of mittens he slipped back out into the night. Glad that there was no snow to leave a track he followed the moonlight until he came to the path he needed. Turning he raced across the hard ground until he found the alcove and slipped inside as much as was possible. Smiling with relief when he noticed that Beth was laying sleeping soundly, Ike quickly dressed her feet and hands before leaning back against the wall. Come morning they'd be long gone and they'd still be safe - or as safe as one could be in the position they were in. ******* Pacing furiously Buck rolled his shoulders and glanced at the others. It didn't take a genius to see that none of them were any happier about the situation than he was. There had been no tracks, no signs and it was driving Buck insane. He'd never felt so useless in his life, and that feeling was only compounded by the way the guilt, and remorse he felt. "Damn it! Where could he have gotten to?" "If he's alive he's probably holed up somewhere lickin' his wounds. He's gonna hide out until he's well enough to travel then he'll head for the nearest express station and get a horse," Lou said staring into the flames. "Ike'll head for home!" Buck sighed and looked at the young woman who was like a sister to him. There was wisdom in her words, wisdom in the points she made. If Ike were alive he'd head for home at the first opportunity. Granted he might not know where he was, and it might take some time but home would be where he'd go. "I know its just.." "You don't want to leave him out here," Kid looked at Buck seriously. "None of us do Buck but what choice do we have? There's been no sign, no track of him. Its unlikely that he's going to leave one. He'll figure they're gonna follow him." "Should have taken longer to look for him," Buck ground out. "You're doing the best you can Buck, can't fault you for that," Jimmy declared checking his gun. "Come on Buck, we'll go home, wait for him there." "He'll come home Buck," Cody agreed quickly, "He knows he can come home." Buck nodded and glanced out into the frost covered landscape. Somewhere out there Ike was in trouble, somewhere his best friend, his brother, needed him and he couldn't do a damn thing other than go home and wait for him. Cursing his own inability to pick a spot and locate Ike, Buck took the offered coffee from Lou and smiled before nodding his agreement, "We'll go home. Give it some time, Ike'll come back to us." "That's the way to be," Cody smiled tiredly at Buck. This little foray into the unknown had revealed a side of Buck that shocked the young rifleman. It also made the admiration he'd always felt for his stoic appearance deepen, Buck was a man who knew how to live life not just exist in it. Chapter Seven Wrapping his feet with straw and the shreds of Beth's petticoat, Ike sighed softly before glancing at the woman sleeping next to him. He shivered in the icy chill of early morning and shook his head. The night before had been rough, nightmares and the cold temperatures had combined to keep them both awake. Beth felt the cold more than he did though, she often huddled against him to fight off the cold. He'd given up on trying to make her wear the coat he now wore, she refused to wear it vehemently. The one compromise she'd made to their mutual comfort was to accept the jacket she'd taken from the trunk. She'd tried to give it to him, tried to make him more comfortable and he'd quickly wrapped her in it. He'd seen the effects of their ordeal on her, she'd lost weight she could ill afford to, there was a gauntness to her face that hadn't been there before, and she had no energy. Course the fact that she spent most mornings throwing up could have something to do with that. There were days when Ike was hard pressed to get up himself, and only the thought of what was behind them got them moving. Briefly Ike wondered how long they'd been moving but his mind was fuzzy and unclear and he couldn't settle on the numbers. He had noticed though that of late mornings brought a heavier frost than before and the colored leaves had already fallen off most of the trees. "Is it time to go?" the soft question had him smiling sadly. He hated to move, hated the very feel of snow in the air but mostly he hated the fear that drove them onward so sharply. *Yes Beth. Its time.* Ike replied seriously, knowing her eyes were opened a crack to see his response but that was it. She was beyond tired, she was exhausted and there was nothing they could do about it. "I don't feel up to it today Ike. All I want to do is be sick," Beth replied quietly, sadly as she shifted slightly but didn't get up. *I know. Once we get that out of the way, the day'll move more quickly. Should be able to find some food even.* Beth moaned in protest at the mention of food but rose to her knees shakily and crawled a short distance away. Not having eaten the night before, the heaves this morning were even worse shaking her entire body violently. Washing her face with a handful of frost covered leaves she struggled to her feet and fell into step with Ike who waited patiently for her. Walking through the dull greyness of the day Beth kept up as best she could. Nausea, exhaustion, and the now familiar plague of hunger leeched her limited supply of energy until she was stumbling more often than not. Sinking to the ground Beth leaned heavily on a boulder even as she noted the first fat flakes of snow coming down. Shivering she sat there fighting to stay awake. A moment later she jumped when something landed with a thump in her lap. *Eat.* Ike nodded at the fish he'd tossed at her. A quick scout of the immediate area had revealed a small pond still open and teaming with fish. Letting her rest up, Ike glanced around them at the rapidly whitening landscape and noted they appeared to be truly alone. *Here. I'll get some water to drink.* With a rolled flat leaf he made a crude cup and filled it. Letting her drink her fill Ike returned to the pool several times, gathering water and catching another fish. Sitting next to Beth he ate it quickly, noting Beth's gaze on the pieces in his lap. Picking one of the larger ones up he handed it to her with a smile and went back to eating. Hiding his smile at the way Beth dived into the raw fish and tore the flesh from the bones, Ike let his mind wander. Tossing aside bones, and other debris Ike sighed. It bothered him the way she followed so wordlessly, so soundlessly. After the way he'd treated her how could she even stand to be in the same area as he was? It didn't take brains to know that Beth probably had family somewhere, kin who would take her in if she wrote and told 'em. Ike knew he'd die before he'd let her get hurt again. It had been a promise to himself as well as her and he shifted. Despite sleeping next to her, despite his own body's betrayal at the shock that tore through it whenever they touched however innocently Ike knew he'd keep that promise. He would just have to continue to ignore the desire to claim her again, the need that burnt within him to take her until she knew who she belonged to. Determined to keep them safe and get home, Ike pushed them harder than he liked. Beth for her part never complained other to say she wasn't feeling well. Being no fool Ike knew she followed because she had no choice and that hurt. For his part, Ike was beginning to fear that he was falling in love with the woman who'd accompanied him through hell. "Ike?" Beth paused and frowned at the thought filled look on Ike's face. Whatever he was thinking of wasn't good if that look was any indication. "When we get back to your people can I stay with you?" Glancing sharply at her Ike nodded quickly, *Of course you can. Long as you want, I'd be happy to have you stay with me.* Beth smiled and fell silent, pulling the shawl tighter around her shoulders. She'd lost track of the number of days they'd been walking, but it had long since ceased to have any meaning to her. Indeed she followed wordlessly, agreeably on a path neither were certain of the end of. She knew that her Momma had kin back in Yorktown, knew a letter would summon them to some place but she didn't care. Honor demanded when they stopped for a period of time she write and inform them of their loss but that was it. Her entire world had shrunk to include one other soul, the man who led her silently Northward - a man who doubted himself. With a soft sigh Beth wondered how to start the conversation they needed to have. She knew he wanted her, knew that he wasn't allowing himself to touch her in anymore than the most innocent fashion because he'd promised. In Ike's mind he was just as bad as those they'd left behind them, but to her he wasn't. Yes what he'd done to her had been different, unpleasant to start with but now. Now she longed for that connection, that touch that told her she was truly alive. Rising at his urging she fell into step with him even as her mind raced. Beth was very much afraid that Ike hated her - a rather unpleasant thought considering that she was falling in love with him. With a self directed smirk she shook herself slightly, Momma would say she wasn't in love with him. That she was merely accepting his position in her life the way any captive did. Even the whites taken by the Indians learned to live with them. *Looks like we found home for tonight.* Ike signed glancing around. It was late afternoon and the snow was coming down even harder than he'd thought it possible. Heavy flakes were piling up making walking dangerous and he didn't want to see Beth get hurt. Ike noticed a slight indent in the bank he was headed toward and tugged Beth that way. The indent turned out to be a small cave nearly ten feet deep that offered protection from the elements as well as fresh water. From the looks of it the area hadn't been used before, there was no scar from a fire, no soot on the ceiling, or any other signs of human occupancy. "It should be warm. It looks deep enough we could even have a fire," Beth smiled at the thought as she glanced around the interior. She could clearly see the small twigs laying about from a windstorm or some animal bringing them in but no signs of humans. *You're catching on,* Ike signed with a smile and a quick, guilty hug before adjusting his coat on his shoulders. *You hungry?* "Yes. But we're nowhere near a creek so we can't fish." *No but I can set a snare. Might catch a hare or something.* "I saw some rose hips on the bush a few yards back. If we roast 'em they'd be good," Beth smiled and eyed the growing darkness. They needed food and rest that much was true but not at the cost of their welfare. *True. I'll gather some, you rest.* "You must have had a good teacher to know so much," Beth whispered softly watching Ike's eyes fasten on her lips as she spoke. It had become a habit, rather than use a voice that was so damaged she whispered softly and Ike had learned to read her lips. Not the most elegant means of communication but they rather liked it. *One of the best. Buck could find a feast in a rock pit,* replied Ike before stepping back out into the snow. Sinking to her knees Beth made a hearth and gathered tinder to start a fire. Using rocks she got started on building the flames, her faith in Ike returning strong. With a small fire going she leaned back slowly feeding it larger pieces until she was satisfied it wouldn't go out anytime soon. With no canteen they hadn't been able to carry water and Beth could feel her thirst growing. Moving to the mouth of the cave she gathered a handful of snow and sucked on it, waiting impatiently for Ike to return. Returning with a plump rabbit and his pockets full of rose hips, Ike helped Beth cook it. While dinner was simple, it was enjoyed. By the time Ike stoked the fire for the night there was nothing left, even the bones of the small animal had been opened and the marrow removed and devoured. After covering a now slumbering Beth with her shawl, Ike curled up next to her an wrapped an arm around her waist. This was the only touch he really allowed himself and he smiled at the way she snuggled into him before he closed his eyes and drifted into a light sleep. Chapter Eight Washing her mouth out with snow, Beth glanced up at the man standing watching over her. He stood straight, proud his gaze sweeping the area even as he stood with his back to her offering her privacy. While she wasn't certain of the number of days or weeks since that first horrible introduction into the more carnal side of life, she was certain she'd missed something. Something rather important, something that would alter their lives considerably. Pushing herself to her feet she hurried toward Ike, stumbling in the slippery snow a little before regaining her footing and coming stand next to him. "Sorry." *No need. I should be apologizing to you. If I wasn't pushing you so hard..* "We've gotten a long way with you pushing us Ike. We've got even farther to go and sitting around won't get us there." *Yes but you're sick. You've been sick for a couple of weeks now. We should rest up until you're feelin' better.* With a sad shrug Beth glanced quickly at him then away, "I um..I think I might be pregnant," she whispered shamefully. Nothing like an unwanted child to endear oneself to the man in your life. Course she had come to the realization that she wanted the baby, wanted a part of Ike she could hold onto for the rest of her life. Ike blinked and stared at her. Not being overly familiar with women, Ike had never really allowed himself to think of that. Thinking on it he exhaled sharply, *Well at least our lucks holding out!* "What?" Beth stared at him as though he'd lost his mind. "What luck?" *Could be worse,* Ike signed quickly noting the shame in her eyes and hating it. *Well we both know whose baby it is. And we are still alive. This is just one more challenge in a long line of them.* "Ike aren't you mad? I mean you didn't bank on a woman in your life much less a bastard!" Ike shrugged, *No. No I didn't. But then I never figured on anything like this. I never thought I'd ever be forced into raping someone, or having to struggle to survive the way we have been.* "You didn't rape me!" Beth shouted angrily and raked a hand through her tangled hair. "You kept us alive!" *You weren't exactly a willing participant Beth. You didn't get a choice.* "Yeah I did," Beth shook her head and poked him in the chest. "I could have laid down and died that first day. I could have let 'em beat you to death and I didn't. I had a choice Ike, and I made the right one for me!" *What choice? You either have sex with him or you die?* "No. I believe it was you or them. I liked you, I trusted you and you didn't want to. I knew that, I saw that in your eyes. I could have given in and just let them hurt me but I didn't. I made the choice that was best for me!" Ike rolled his eyes and glared at her. *It don't take away from the fact that..* "That what? You haven't done anything in this world that deserves that load of guilt you're carrying around. Or have you forgotten that you weren't the only one doing the taking? You forgetting your turn on the wheel? You forgetting my liberties taken?" Ike flushed at the memory of her mouth on him, of the expression in her eyes as she'd swallowed him and the pleasure watching her do it had given him. *It ain't the same.* "Oh yes it is. Its time to make a choice Ike. I stay with you, we stay with you or I'll go back east." *No, please. As wrong as it is, as much as I've hurt you I couldn't stand the thought of you being gone. I need you.* "So what are you going to do about this?" *Get married.* Ike stated and waited for her response. "Your friends are going to know its not an ordinary.." *They'll love you because I do. Now come on, we'll get married back home.* "We need to find out where we are! Besides if you want to marry why wait? I mean its just words spoken, promises can be made to each other without a preacher present," Beth shrugged self consciously. "It ain't like it's the most conventional courtship in history." Ike nodded and tugged her along. In her usual manner Beth had cut to the heart of the matter and offered a solution. Granted clearing the air hadn't erased the guilt completely but it had eased it until it was tolerable. In time he knew he'd find ways to erase it totally from their lives - and getting them home was going to be the biggest means to do it. Smiling he glanced at her and sighed, it wasn't as though there was anyone around to object, nobody even knew about them. With an encouraging squeeze of her hand Ike nodded, tonight they'd do it. With the flickering of the flames lighting their small shelter, Ike smiled at Beth as they sat huddled together. Reaching up he trailed a finger down her face, pushing her hair back out of her eyes with a tenderness they had come to have faith in. *I promise to protect you Beth. Promise to honor and keep you. Promise to keep the honor you so richly deserve close to us.* Ike paused. *And I promise to keep the secrets we horde hidden from others. While there is some words that may need to be spoken, the true secrets I will keep until my dying day.* Oh yes, they had secrets, ones that no one would understand. Both knew if the whole truth ever came out, chances were that Ike would hang. That fact made his promise all that much more poignant. "I promise to honor and keep you. To help you with everything within me. I promise to protect our secrets with my life. Just as I will protect this baby," Beth smiled tearfully. "While it isn't much now, I give you my heart and my body forever." *Its everything!* Ike declared easily. *You're everything to me Beth. And we both know we can survive anything. After all, we both dealt with the devil himself and came out alive.* Beth nodded slowly before frowning slightly, "It's a little cold to get undressed but I'm sure if we adjusted our clothes.." *You don't have to.* "I want to." With an understanding nod Ike traced one blunt finger down her throat to her pulse point, *I really am sorry about before. I never would've..* Capturing his hands Beth sighed. "For the longest time I felt dirty, soiled. Not because of you, because after the pain stopped I started liking what you were doing to me. I started wanting your touch, your body to be within me. I felt bad about that, cheap even but not once through this whole ordeal have I ever blamed you for what happened Ike. You are my faith, my hope, the one thing in this world I know I can trust. You keep us safe." With a slight nod at her honesty Ike leaned forward and kissed her gently. They'd survived one hell, now to have peace they'd have to walk through another. No matter what he'd keep his promise to her or die trying! Setting out the next morning hand in hand, Beth smiled to herself. She was married with a baby on the way and a husband who understood her demons first hand. If nothing else this lesson had taught her she was stronger. There were no grand illusions or fairytale notions in her anymore, she knew they were going to have to work to keep it together. She realized that there would be opposition toward their union but for once she wasn't terrified at the prospect. Chapter Nine Teaspoon noted the sullen angry looks on the boys' and Lou's face as they rode back in and knew something bad had happened. Watching them he noticed Buck had an unreadable expression on his face. "How'd it go?" "How do you think?" Buck snarled unsaddling his horse before stomping away, leashed violence in every line of his body. "Where's Ike?" Teaspoon glanced from one sullen face to the next as he waited for an answer. Jimmy, Noah, and Cody glanced at Kid and Lou before making a rapid exit. "We don't know. Buck lost all the tracks when they went in a creek, we doubled back but it was hopeless. The snow started and we knew we had to come home." Kid explained softly glancing at Lou who'd squeezed his arm gently. "Figured it was best to come home, this is where he'd come to when he could." "You did the best you could son. Ain't any more you could've done," Teaspoon stated easily knowing it was far from over for the boys. It would never truly be over until they knew for certain what had happened to one of their own. "Sure don't feel that way," Lou replied shifting slightly, leaning against Kid. "Still don't have a clue why they took Ike. And it feels wrong to leave him out there alone." "Something we may never know. Get some rest," Teaspoon patted them on the shoulder before watching them shuffle off toward the bunkhouse. They were gathering strength from the other, bonding in a way he wasn't sure anyone else would ever understand. Seeing Rachel walking toward him Teaspoon sighed. "I take it they didn't find out what they wanted to?" Rachel asked softly, hesitantly. "No. Just more questions. They're hoping he's still alive, prayin' he'll come home." "Hoping he's still alive?" "They're trying to avoid thinking he's dead." "Did they catch those responsible?" "I don't think we want to know what happened there. Besides I ain't gonna lock 'em up for whatever they felt was right." "Gonna be awfully uncomfortable around here. If they don't have his body, it'll just give them a reason to nurse their hope." "I believe you may just be right Rachel, and that might be dangerous." "Might," Rachel laughed humorlessly as Teaspoon walked way. "Best get supplies together. Somebody's gonna get hurt." Chapter Ten Eying the old barn, Ike glanced at Beth. *Shall we?* "This may be the only shelter we find Ike. Besides this storms blowing in pretty fast." Beth replied looking up into the rapidly falling snow. The temperature had dropped quickly throughout the past few hours and a wind was beginning to kick up. Unless she missed her guess, and she doubted it they were walkin' round in a blizzard. *Wonder how far we are from home. We need to be settled in 'fore the baby comes. Besides if I know the boys and Lou they're going insane by now.* "Maybe we should've stopped at the farm house and asked. I don't recognize anything around here," Beth looked behind her at the reduced visibility and sighed softly. There would be no going back for either of them. *Neither do I. But that don't mean we ain't close. Its been a long time since I walked anywhere. Could be the snow that's covering everything.* "After the snow stops we'll find out," Beth promised. Ike nodded carefully, his head was pounding and his vision was slightly fuzzy. Both of them had recently caught cold but Beth had fought off the infection with relative ease. He on the other hand hadn't been so fortunate. Instead he'd been walking with a fever for the past two days. Between the chills, the dizziness, and the hacking cough Ike was being forced to rely on Beth instead of the other way round. A rather disturbing predicament for the young man. Tugging her gently behind him into the warm barn, Ike hunkered down in an empty stall atop some straw. *Come rest a while. We don't have anywhere else we need to be at the moment.* "We need to get you to a doctor," Beth whispered at the wheezing, shaky breathing coming from him. That and the cough worried her something fierce but she'd held her tongue. *No money for a doctor. Besides that I don't see one about do you?* "Still you aren't getting any better!" *Just rest up a bit. All in good time.* With a patient sigh Beth sank into his warmth grateful for it if nothing else. Lightly dozing she jerked awake at the sound of voices and glanced around for a weapon. "See the livestock's all bedded down Heather," the masculine voice had Beth cringing even as Ike stirred and tightened his grip on her arm. His hand searched the straw until he came up with an old piece of board. "Uh Pa," the slight frame of a little girl no older then ten had Ike glancing at Beth uneasily even as he struggled to his feet. "What is it?" the tall, robust figure moved into view and stopped. Staring at the pair of uninvited guests huddled in the empty stall, Robert Daniels sighed. Neither looked old enough to spit much less be out in this weather. The young man had the paler that came with a fever, and his breathing was strained. Yet despite his obvious weakness he looked ready to fight to protect the young woman clinging to him. "Name's Robert Daniels and this here is my farm. Some reason you kids are out in this weather?" Glancing at Ike Beth shrugged, "We're lost. We were headed for Rock Creek were we've got kin but the storm blew in. With my husband sick, we took shelter in the only place we could. We don't mean no harm," Beth admitted tiredly. "Husband huh? You got names?" Robert questioned quickly. "Ike and Beth," Beth replied at Ike's look. "Look we ain't about to take anything. Just wanted a place to lay out the storm." "Pa Momma's calling us," the little girl glanced between them and the door uneasily. Robert shook his head, "Well you can't stay out here. The missus would have my hide if I didn't bring you in where she could fuss. Ain't had company in a coon's age. Sides, you're probably hungry and there ain't anything out here that you could eat." "Ike?" *We'll go in. No sense in refusing his kindness. He don't seem like he's about to hurt anyone. Besides you need something hot in you. Soon as this storm lets up we can get out of here!* "Okay," Beth nodded and helped Ike steady himself. Letting him lean on her she struggled under his added weight and her own weakness. Tensing Beth glanced at Robert as he took Ike's arm and helped hold him up so he could walk to the house. Robert wasn't too sure he believed the girl's story but he wasn't about to turn either of them away. Leading the younger man to the house he noticed two things. One both of them were weaker than a newborn calf, and two they both held themselves stiffly. Almost as though the thought of physical contact was too much for them. Letting Heather open the door he stepped into the warmth and smiled at his wife who turned from the stove. He noted her curious glance as she turned wooden spoon in hand. "Ruthie we got company. Need something hot in both of them." "Looks like you need more than a hot meal," Ruth replied studying the young couple. "Well Pa best get their coats off, I'll pour them some broth for now." Ruth drawled looking at her husband for a split second. Turning to the guests she was shocked speechless. The girl stood shakily, her long dark hair a tangled mess about her face, a face that was gaunt and pale. Grey eyes were filled with distrust, hunger, and fear. The woolen shawl was clutched to her like a shield and a light woolen dress coat clung to her body. A body that revealed the missing of more than one meal. The young man fared no better. His clothes were thread bare, and hung off his tall, thin frame with careless abandon. The flare of color in his otherwise pale face told of a fever and the wracking cough told of a chest infection. His hands were wrapped in white cotton as were his feet, a rather ragged trailing of braided cotton and lace made up his scarf. Obviously, they'd barely been surviving. "Sit down. I'll bring you something for that cough of yours. A big bowl of this broth will do both of you a world of good then you can have a rest. Need to sleep both of you." "We can't. Got to get to Rock Creek," Beth croaked inhaling the rich aroma of the broth being set before them. Flushing slightly at the woman's look as her stomach growled appreciatively, Beth turned her attention to the bowl sitting in front of her. "Pardon?" Ruth frowned, the girl's voice was so soft she'd barely heard her. "Did you say Rock Creek?" Beth nodded quickly, her attention focused on Ike who's cold fingers didn't want to work. Helping him she didn't see the looks Robert and Ruth shared. "Rock Creek's a hundred miles from here," Ruth spoke calmly. "Besides that you won't get far in this storm with that wind. I'm afraid you're stuck here. You'll have plenty of time to rest. I'll make up the bed in Heather's room." "I don't know," Beth tensed, she didn't want to be stuck here. At least out there they could see trouble coming in time to get away from it. *If we have to we have to. You and the baby are all the matter to me.* "But Ike.." "I understand you wanting to be with kin, but you won't get far in this weather. Instead you'll probably freeze to death before you get two miles." "If Ike's sure," Beth replied looking at him for confirmation. When he nodded slowly she shrugged and took a small sip of soup. With some hot food in their bodies, it was likely that they'd sleep all night and into the next day. They'd needed to rest, Ike's body needed it so badly to heal from his cold. The wear on their bodies had been extensive, resulting in a loss of weight, momentum even. Concern for the welfare of her baby made up her mind. They needed to sleep and here was better than out there! After they'd finished their meager meal, Ruth showed them to the room she'd spoken off. After giving Beth a fresh, clean white nightgown she slipped soundlessly from the room closing the door to give them privacy. After getting Ike into bed, Beth crawled in next to him and pulled the covers over them. Curling against Ike she closed her eyes and slid into a deep, dreamless sleep even as Ike relaxed against her. The hot food and the comfortable bed slipping past their defenses and dragging both into the deep, restful sleep their bodies needed so desperately. ******* "How long has it been Ma?" Robert glanced at Ruth as she sat a cup of coffee before him. "Three days with very little movement. She's been up twice, checkin' on him and going back to sleep," Ruth replied as the soft sounds of their daughter playing filled the small house. Lighting the lantern she made short work of the evening dishes before sitting down at the table to turn to her husband. Ruth knew that Robert wasn't too sure about the situation, she had to admit neither was she. The young couple were obviously hiding something, hiding within each other and that rubbed against their natural born curiosity. "You think they're tellin' the truth?" "Yes, just think they ain't telling what they're running from," Ruth replied seriously. "They've been moving for a long time. His getting sick is the only reason they've stopped." "Awful young. Babies really," Robert shifted and took a sip of coffee. "Shouldn't be out there. Should be home safe and sound." "Should be's don't matter out here Robert. You and I both know that." "Still, ain't right." "Yes dear," Ruth smiled and patted his arm gently. "We'll let 'em sleep. No sense in waking them until its necessary." "They've been traveling some ways to get this tired. Makes a body wonder where they're coming from." "Now Robert, you know we ain't got no call to be questioning those two. Most folks are decent, honest, hard working people. It's the bad ones that cause problems and these two look like they met up with some of those rotten apples. These two aren't all that trusting now anyway, even in sleep their defensive." "Hmm, guess you're right. I'll let you be the judge on things, you know 'bout folks better than I do." Ruth nodded and smoothed her skirt as she rose. After checking on Heather who had quieted down and was laying sleeping on the pallet they'd made in their room, she peeked in on the young couple. Curled together, closer than the devil himself, they slept soundly although uneasily. Smiling she stood watching for a moment then headed for her own warm bed. It amazed her that a couple so young could have developed the relationship they obviously shared. Even loving Robert the way she did, it had taken time to learn to trust him so deeply. But then, she'd never faced the hardships these two kids had. Chapter Eleven Stretching Beth opened her eyes slowly. Glancing sharply at the still sleeping warmth next to her she smiled. For once his breathing was deep, even, effortless, his skin had the natural color to it and the fine sheen of sweat she'd grown accustomed to was gone. Offering a quick thanks Beth blew out a breath before heading out of their room in search of something to eat. Noting a small bit of bread on the counter next to some butter she quickly made a thin sandwich before sinking into a nearby chair. With Ike over his fever, and both of them well rested they'd be able to make good time. Briefly she wondered what the date was, then shrugged. It didn't really matter anymore, there was no point to keeping track of time like that. Each day was one more day of fighting to survive, one more struggle. "You're up early," Ruth spoke softly, noting the young woman sitting at the table in the semi darkness. With a start Beth twisted around to face the newest threat, "Pardon?" "I said you're up early. Ain't nobody gonna be up for at least a half hour." "Got hungry," Beth replied seriously. "Just made a sandwich is all." "There's preserves in the cupboard if you'd like," Ruth said quickly as she moved about making coffee. Beth shook her head, "No thank you. Ain't got money for that. Ain't got money to pay you for your hospitality even." "Money don't mean much to me. Ain't like there's a whole lot to spend it on out here." "Sounds like my Ma," Beth frowned slightly at the sad thought of her mother. She missed her, missed the safe, secure feeling that she had whenever her Ma was around. Mostly though she missed the naivety and ignorance that had been associated with living with her folks at the mine before those men had arrived. "She must have been a good woman. Having a daughter like you would've made her proud." Beth laughed softly, pushing aside painful memories. "Ike helped me become the woman I am. Without him," she sighed shakily and looked at Ruth then away, "I'm just glad I got him in my life." "You love him a great deal." "He's everything to me," Beth admitted quietly as she chewed on a nail. "The end all so to speak." Ruth paused at the seriousness in her tone before glancing at her guest. She noted the shadows in her grey eyes and the way her hands were folded so carefully. More importantly she noted the faded scars on her wrists and the distinctly on guard way she sat. There was no way that Ruth could understand where she was coming from. She'd never experienced bad - not like this girl had. "Takes a strong person to survive and I think you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Either of you," Ruth said softly with a smile as she set a cup of coffee on the table next to Beth before claiming a chair herself. Beth flushed slightly at the other woman's astute observation, "What month is it?" "January 10, 1861 to be exact," Ruth replied quickly as she sipped her coffee. "Why?" "Just curious," Beth replied and rose to check on Ike. It had been late September when Harley and his gang had dumped Ike in with her. That meant she was at least three months pregnant. They had less than six months to get to Rock Creek before the baby came. With a faint shudder Beth watched him sleeping soundly, "Six months isn't very long at all. Please God, let us make it." ******* Watching Ike recuperate slowly Ruth often wondered where they'd gotten the steel in their blood. Bits and pieces kept falling into place as the days blended into weeks and Ruth concluded that no one could survive hell and walk away unscathed. The physical scars were minor compared to the ones beneath the surface. Of course as time past, Ruth noticed the obvious changes in Beth's body as she started to be more obvious about her baby. She noticed the way they spent hours sitting together staring out the window wrapped around each other, feeling the baby kick and keeping the memories at bay. With those changes both Beth and Ike got more and more anxious and restless. One eye always on the horizon even as they worked about the small farm. "You sure we can't offer you a ride into town?" Ruth asked watching the young couple dress for their walk in the clothes they'd brought with them. They'd worked hard around the place the two months they'd been at the farm, harder than anybody could ever expect hired help to. They did it without comment or complaint. Taking only the softness of their bed and the food they ate as payment. "Oh no, you've done so much already," Beth smiled easily. She rather liked the older woman. "Besides we're not following a road." "Well take care of yourselves. Here, take some biscuits and jerky for the road," Ruth pushed the bundle into Beth's arms. "You need to eat, keep your strength up for that baby. Take care of each other." "We will," Beth smiled at Ike and nodded. "Have so far." "I'm sure you have. You let me know when that baby's born. I'll be glad of the word," Ruth said as Robert dug out a battered hat and handed it to Ike who smiled gratefully before glancing at Ruth. "Goodbye," Beth hugged Ruth once before following Ike as he headed north. They would keep going until they made it. Course it was warming, nearly two months had passed since they'd arrived at the Daniels place and they were in better shape than ever before. ******* "I see the boys are still expecting Ike to come back," Rachel spoke softly as she stood on the front porch watching as Cody, Lou, Jimmy, and Noah walked toward them. The sound of a rather loud, boisterous disagreement between Buck, Kid, and the newest rider Jason had obviously emptied the bunkhouse. "I don't give a damn about some dummy's things. I work here same as you and I'm sick of my belongings being kicked about like trash," Jason's rather resentful voice had everyone flinching as they settled on the porch. "The trunk belongs to Ike. You don't like it too bad. Go buy one of your own!" Buck's voice held a note of steel in it. "Yeah well maybe you should just learn your place 'breed. Ain't nobody likes a smart mouthed Injun." Wincing at the loud crash from within the bunkhouse Teaspoon looked at Rachel. "How many is that?" "He's the sixth one. He was doing good 'til he started up about Ike's trunk." "Boys got to learn to accept the facts. Much as it kills me to say it, the boy ain't.." "Don't even say it," Jimmy snarled glancing at the pair as they settled on the porch a few feet away from Teaspoon and Rachel. "We don't know that. He could've gotten away and holed up somewhere until he was back on his feet. He'll come home!" "Jimmy, we all loved him," Rachel started uneasily. "You're as dumb as that fool if'n you think we've given up," Noah snapped angrily jerking a thumb at the bunkhouse. "Family is family and its only been seven months. If he's walkin' it would take a while to get back." "I just don't want you to be disappointed when he don't show up," Rachel stared at them. She knew they all felt useless and guilty as though in coming home they'd somehow betrayed him. Out of the six of them, it was a toss up as to who was worse. Jimmy walked around in a constant sullen mood, Buck had withdrawn completely from everyone but the boys and Lou. Course he blew periodically, usually resulting in the structural types of damage or a broken bone or two for whomever he hit. The others were marginally better. Kid and Lou had become inseparable. One was never far from the other, they even took the double runs together. Cody watched the horizon, and Noah tried to work himself to death. "He'll be here," Jimmy shot back as the rather rumpled, bloodied figure of Jason lurched out of the bunkhouse. "Hmm, Buck must be feelin' generous. He's walking." Rachel glanced sharply at Jimmy as Jason came to halt at the foot of the stairs. "You want some ointment for that cut?" "No. Don't want nothing but my pay. I quit!" With a telling look at Rachel Teaspoon rose, "Well come on into my office. We'll get you squared away." "Should fire that worthless Indian 'fore he robs you blind or worse," Jason growled favoring his nose. "Better watch it yourself Jason. We ain't feelin' so generous as Buck is," Lou snarled glancing pointedly at Jimmy's gun. "Since the only one with a problem with Buck is you, I'd say the rest of us are safe," Jimmy chortled quickly in agreement, his hand moving to rest on his upper thigh. "Best get while the gettin's good." "Indian lovers, the whole lot of you," Jason snarled before disappearing after Teaspoon. "Reckon I'll help Buck and Kid straighten up the bunkhouse. They done their share," Cody declared easily. "You're insane! The lot of you have lost your minds!" Rachel gaped at the boys as they followed Cody back to the bunkhouse. "Just know what family is," Lou replied seriously. "Ike'll be back." "To have such faith," Rachel shook her head at them. Things were only going to get worse around here until either Ike McSwain walked back into the yard or they gave up hope and Rachel didn't know which one to pray for. Chapter Twelve "Ike what's that?" Beth pointed to a small shack with a rather well stocked corral behind it. *Express station.* Ike smiled. *I think its Tom Henesy's station, if it is we'll be able to get a couple of horses. He knows me. With the horses we could be back in Rock Creek in a couple of days.* "Do you think its safe? I mean what if.?" *Only one way to find out. Besides once we get to Rock Creek, Teaspoon and the boys'll take care of them if they're following us.* "I'll take your word for it. You've been right so far," Beth declared as she followed Ike through the semi darkness of early morning toward the cabin. Waiting until it was later in the day, Beth sat with Ike watching the cabin. *Come on, just stick close to me and we'll be on our way shortly. You can ride, can't you?* Ike paused a frown marring his face as he glanced at her. "Yes my dear husband. I can ride. Although I've never tried to do it while seven and a half months pregnant." *We'll take it slow. No point in rushing. Besides two days isn't going to matter much now.* "We're nuts. Pure and simple, plumb crazy," Beth muttered but followed Ike in silence. She tensed when the door opened and a short, balding man with a rather large belly stepped out. "You folk's lost?" the man spat a mouthful of tobacco juice on the ground before casting an appraising glance from the obviously expectant momma to the man she was with. "Well Hellfire! Ike McSwain, figured some injun got you." *No. Need two horses,* Ike signed before noticing a rather uneasy Beth. "These are all express horses. Don't know if they'd suit the little momma," Tom rocked back on his heels, his fingers plucking at his suspender straps. "Take two and drop 'em at the station. Someone'll bring 'em back through for you." he said as he studied the young woman who stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Something told him that regardless, both of them would make it back to the next station. "Thank you!" Beth smiled at him easily as Ike quickly grabbed two horses and saddled them. With his help she mounted and gathered her reins before waiting for him. Watching Ike mount up Tom shook his head, "You be careful now. That injun friend of yours ain't been too friendly of late." "We will," Beth replied and followed Ike at a trot. ******* Moving steadily, Ike nodded to himself. He knew this country very well. He knew every nook, cranny, back trail, and shortcut. If they kept at a steady trot they'd be in town just after dark. Course that meant going in blind but then Ike didn't really care. He'd welcome the reception from the boys and Lou because he knew they'd worried. Course that meant he'd probably get hit a time or two but even that would be welcome. Glancing at Beth Ike sighed, really there was no way he could hold her. She deserved to be free, deserved to have more than just the memory of her life before he'd entered it. Course he knew she'd hit him in the head for thinking such things but he couldn't help it. He was an honorable man or at least he'd tried to be, and he had hurt her. "You've got that look again!" Beth smiled at Ike's pensive look. She knew what he was thinking, it was the one thought that he always hid from her because it was the one source of contention between them. "Don't even think it Ike McSwain. I haven't come this far just so you can start with the 'you deserve more' speeches." *But Beth..* "No buts. We're in this together or not at all. Now a promise is a promise and I'm gonna hold you to yours," Beth snapped angrily her eyes flashing. "I've never had much but I'll be damned if I'm gonna throw away what I've managed to salvage from this experience because of your fool pride. You hear me?" *Yes dear,* Ike smiled at her and sighed. *Just a thought.* "Well forget it. I deserve a man who knows me and understands me. I deserve you. I love you and that ain't about to change in this lifetime." Ike smiled quickly and patted her hands on the reins before nudging the horse he was riding into a quick stepping trot. Keeping at a steady pace, Ike turned off the main road and took the only slightly used trail that took two hours off the ride. With the amount of time they'd spent together and the slow easing into the intimate side of their marriage, Ike felt confident that she wasn't with him cause of convenience. No his Beth stayed with him because she loved him, because in her own way she'd decided that he was the best thing she would ever have and that felt good. Hiding his smile, Ike slid her a glance, oh yes having Beth love him felt very good because he was very much in love with the strong woman she had been, the stronger woman that she'd become. Course their relationship was unorthodox, neither was overly anxious to engage in sex, it was still an rather uncomfortable prospect. Which wasn't to say that they didn't have nights when the wanting, the needing got to be too much. When they touched though there was nothing faked, nothing strained about it. They did what felt good rather than what they felt was expected, the horrible truth being that neither could stand to have that much control taken from them again. "It's beautiful country Ike," Beth said looking around. The grass was lush, thick and green. The warmth from the sun had shed her of her shawl, and warmed the exposed flesh of her face, hands, and throat. *Yes it is. I've seen a lot of country but this is the one I call home,* Ike signed easily, the reins draped around his saddle horn. "I can see why," Beth smiled at him. "Its got to be the most beautiful place I've been to. Granted I spent most of my life on the side of a mountain but still. I'm glad to have seen it." Ike smiled, "Well as bad as things have been, we got a good thing out of it.* "Really?" Beth laughed softly, easily. "Being kidnaped, beaten, starved.." *Well that wasn't so good, but the rest of it wasn't too bad. We got away and we've survived. That's more than they were gonna give us. And we're together, which is more than I could have ever hoped for.* "You Ike are a good man. One of the few out there," Beth sighed with a soft, loving smile. "And I got you. Guess that means my luck must be pretty good." *You said it.* With a slight tremble to his hand, Ike reached out to cup her jaw, his thumb tracing over her cheek lovingly. With a slight shrug Beth turned her attention back to the road. Indeed the last hundred miles had been much easier than those before. Probably because they were well fed, rested, and prepared for them. And traveling on horseback was always easier and faster than on foot. A glance upward revealed it was early evening. The sun was setting and Ike grinned. It wouldn't be long till they were home and safely encased within their room. Cause he knew the boys would want an explanation, Ike didn't figure it would be an early night. His priorities were simple, take care of Beth and the baby; the rest would come later. Chapter Thirteen The crackle from the flames of the fireplace seemed to echo within the walls of the bunkhouse as the boys sat around the table. A chastisement from Teaspoon had made them even more tense and uncertain. Course it didn't help that Teaspoon seemed willing to voice their darkest fears. "He don't know what he's talkin' about," Cody muttered pushing his coffee cup around unhappily, his eyes fastened on the rough table before him. "Teaspoon's just lookin' out for you. He don't want you to be disappointed if things don't work out," Rachel tried to sooth the restless riders and avoid their wrath at the same time. "He still don't know understand. We aint' gonna give up just cause he did," Buck snapped angrily as he paced the confines of the room like some caged beast. "Teaspoon ain't given up, he's just facing the facts." "Don't you start," Lou snapped suddenly glaring at her friend. "You think he was buried out back the way some folks 'round here carry on. Ike'll be back, he's a survivor." "Yes, well that's just because.." "Rachel we love you but you don't understand. Ike is family, and we don't turn our backs on family," Jimmy declared easily with a shrug at her. "Be like forgetting an arm or leg or something. He's part of us." Rachel shook her head surrendering the field to them, "Don't sit up all night. There is work to be done come morning." Closing the door on her way out Rachel glanced at the night sky before starting for the house. The soft thud of hooves had her pausing as two horses walked into view. Frowning slightly when she watched the two riders move smoothly toward the barn atop the pair she swore as she recognized the express horses. What were two strangers doing with express horses? Rachel wondered even as they pulled up at the barn and paused. "Can I help you?" Ike glanced into the darkness and smiled before shaking his head. Dismounting he moved around Beth's horse to lift her down, *That's Rachel, she's the housekeeper.* "She's pretty," Beth said softly as she smoothed out her skirt and fell into step with Ike. With him so close to her she felt at ease, felt safe so meeting these strangers would be relatively easy. Uneasy at the lack of response Rachel glanced uneasily at the bunkhouse as the riders dismounted. Hearing the soft sound a voice she turned back to them, and felt the blood rush from her face. "Oh my God!" Rachel clasped a hand to her mouth even as she stared at the man standing looking at her with a tired smile. *Hi Rachel, you okay?"* "I don't believe it," Rachel sobbed pulling him into a hug. Clinging to him she sniffed, "The boys were right. They never gave up, said you'd come home." *We weren't exactly in the best shape when we started out. It was pretty slow going, Beth had to take it easy.* "Beth?" Rachel looked at the young woman Ike stood with one hand resting on her rounded stomach, the other wrapped around Ike's arm. Feeling nauseated Rachel smiled at her, it was obvious the girl had suffered terribly at the hands of the men who'd taken Ike, she didn't want to draw any added attention to that fact. "I hope you're feeling well." "Tired, not used to sitting on a horse all day," Beth replied softly a slight smile on her lips. The gravelly voice barely registered with Rachel instead she focused on her words. "I'll make up a room for you in the house. The boys'll be glad to have you back in the bunkhouse Ike." "I'll sleep in with Ike then," Beth replied quickly uneasily. The thought of spending the night alone without him was terrifying. She didn't think she could sleep without him at arms length away, regardless of the fact that they'd married. Married or not the thought of sleeping alone without being able to reach out and touch the other was enough to send panic rushing over them in waves. Alone left too many opportunities for suffering, for the nightmares to haunt them. *Beth's my wife,* Ike explained quickly, firmly, a dark look in his eyes as though he expected Rachel to challenge that statement. *We'll both stay in the bunkhouse.* "Oh," Rachel blinked at the statement, at the calm, totally accepting way in which it was signed before shrugging aside her personal thoughts, "Nonsense. I'll make up that spare room for both of you. Only take a couple of minutes." *We need to talk to Teaspoon, troubles riding our trail.* "I'll fetch Teaspoon. Come inside, I'll fix you a bite to eat then go get him." *How are the boys and Lou holding up?* "They went after you and came back in very bad moods. None of them will say anything about what they found or didn't find, what they did and its worrisome. Teaspoon figures they did something he wouldn't approve of, but he can't prove it." Ike nodded slowly, if the boys hadn't gotten what they wanted, they'd have been cranky. Could be that they'd done something they weren't unhappy about but were unwilling to speak of it. "I'll fetch Teaspoon. The boys'll be anxious to see you Ike, you might want to wait a bit and go over and say hi." Waiting until the door had closed Beth turned to Ike, "If they followed you why didn't we see them?" Beth looked at Ike. "Why didn't they look for us?" the rising anger in her had her face flushing prettily. *We weren't ready to be found Beth. You know that. Besides they'd have wanted answers we couldn't give them.* Ike replied looking at her easily, *We may never be able to but for them to find us like that. It would have killed us Beth.* "I know and I'm sorry," Beth looked away and shrugged. "I just remember feeling so defeated, so desperate. We spent months walking in the cold, hungry beyond reason." "Ike McSwain! How dare you take the blame? It wasn't your fault. You didn't say Hey Harley here's an idea you can beat on me and force me to take the girl. I'm sure she'd like it, like anything our perverted minds can come up with!" Beth snapped her voice cracking under the strain of emotions. *Fine I'm just sayin' that the boys did what they thought best. They aren't responsible for what happened either.* "Agreed. Blame Harley and his gang," Beth shuddered at the repulsive thought. "Sure ain't lookin' forward to them catching us again." *They won't. Now eat up, Teaspoon's gonna expect some sort of explanation from us. You'll see I promise it's gonna be okay. The boys'll love you.* "I've been trusting you from the first day Ike, it's a little late to stop now." *That's my girl!* ******* Hurrying down the street Rachel couldn't help the happy little smirk on her face. Both of them would be eating crow for a while, but this time she just didn't care. Stepping into the Marshall's office she smiled at Teaspoon, "Could you please come to the bunkhouse? Its kind of important." "Sure," Teaspoon rose to his feet, adjusting his hat as he did so. "What do you look so happy about? The boys kill each other yet?" "You'll see," Rachel replied all but dragging Teaspoon back to the station. With a slight nudge she pushed him at the bunkhouse and scurried to the house. ******* Walking into the bunkhouse Teaspoon noted that everyone was present and none of them looked overjoyed to see him. Frowning as he recalled Rachel's happy smile, Teaspoon folded his arms across his chest and waited. "Something you wanted?" Jimmy snapped without looking up from where he sat cleaning his guns. "Rachel sent me," Teaspoon replied as though that was the only explanation needed. "Figures. You two seem determined to.." Buck muttered even as Teaspoon bristled. "Look for whatever reason, Rachel saw fit to invite me down here, lets say we try to get along okay?" "Sure," Lou shot back leaning against Kid on his bunk, "Course we got work to do in the morning so we can't stay up that late. Matter of fact we were just getting ready to go to bed." Hearing Lou's sarcastic comment Rachel glanced at the couple who eyed her expectantly and smiled, "You might get swamped. They've been like this since they got back." "We'll managed," Beth replied squeezing Ike's hand desperately as Rachel opened the door and stepped inside. "So what was so important you're keepin' us up Rachel?" Buck asked quickly even as Rachel stepped away from the now open door. "You'll see," Rachel smiled easily. "Course you might just want to sit down." Glancing sharply at Rachel's comment Buck stared his coffee cup slipping from his suddenly number fingers. "Oh my gosh!" Whipping around everyone stared in stunned silence at the pair standing just inside the door. "You made it!" Lou scrambled from the bunk and grabbed Ike in a hug. "You actually made it!" *Lou, you're choking me!* Ike protested glancing uneasily at Beth. So much physical contact was disconcerting. "You ass! Why didn't you send word or something?" Buck snapped grabbing him in a bear hug and holding on for dear life. Stepping back sharply, Beth watched them swarm over Ike uneasily. Seeing the growing tension in Ike's body she cleared her throat. Looking uneasy almost scared she reached over to tap the nearest person on the shoulder. Jumping when the attractive blonde whipped around to pull her into a hug, Beth pushed against him. Feeling the cold invade her body, and the familiar pain begin to seep into her blood she pushed harder. "Okay! Okay! Lets give him some breathing space boys," Teaspoon said pulling the boys and Lou away from Ike at the tense, pained look on his face. "Come sit down son." *That's okay I'll stand.* Ike declared uneasily looking at Beth who plucked at her skirt, her eyes filled with fear. "Whose your friend Ike?" Cody asked nodding at the rather pale young woman hiding behind Ike. Catching the fear in her eyes at the attention, Ike pulled her tight against him with a slight smile, "This is my wife Beth. That's Lou, she's sorta the little sister we've all never had - except to Kid. Buck, Jimmy, Cody, Noah, and that's Kid.* Beth smiled shakily, "Nice to meet you. Ike's spoken of you often." "Guess we owe you for helping Ike out," Jimmy smiled easily at her. Rachel frowned slightly at the statement then shook her head. Neither was probably overly anxious to talk about it. "Jimmy." *Actually Beth was with me. We sorta helped each other out.* Ike explained setting her down on the edge of a bunk. Seeing the pained look on Rachel's face Teaspoon sighed. "Well I gotta say I'm happy to see you son. Glad I was wrong. I imagine though you're probably tired. We can get some answers in the morning." Ike nodded quickly, *I'll see to the horses. You relax Beth.* "I can help." Ike shook his head and patted her shoulder easily, *Trust me.* Beth nodded and sat there as Ike slipped out into the night. Smiling tentatively at those staring at her Beth shifted uneasily on the bunk. Putting her hand absently where she could feel the baby kick, Beth waited trying to stem the fear in her blood. "He won't be too long," Rachel tried to sooth her nervousness. "Would you like some coffee?" "He never is. No thank you, it keeps me awake," Beth replied softly moving carefully on the bunk. "Um I know its hard but can you..?" Rachel asked softly noting the girl's movements. "About seven months," Beth replied quickly. "Um Ike said he liked it here. Its really pretty around here." "Should see it after the first snow fall when everything's white and clean," Lou smiled easily. "Ain't nothing prettier." "I think its safe to say I've had enough of the snow. Its cold, wet, and hard to walk in. It also buries everything, makes food harder to find." "Well you don't have to worry bout that here," Noah chuckled. "Rachel's a good cook. Better than Hickok any day." Beth nodded, hunkered down in her shawl and coat. The easy camaraderie amongst the boys was quick, friendly and it made her uneasy. That gang had gotten along all too well and look what had happened. Beth wondered about them. Even with the delay in losing their track it was unlikely they were far behind them. Probably closer than they'd like. Course if the boys had crossed path with them, perhaps they'd taken them into town to the Marshall. Course he wouldn't have anything to hold them on, there had been no evidence that would convict them. "Something bothering you?" Teaspoon asked touching Beth's shoulder without thinking about it. Jerking violently away from the touch Beth stared at him, "Pardon?" "Something bothering you?" Teaspoon repeated noting the violent reaction and the fear in her eyes. "Just thinkin' bout the trouble tracking us. They're not exactly nice men." "Don't you worry about it. My boys are the best there is," Teaspoon smiled proudly. "They'll handle anything that comes along." Beth nodded as the door opened and Ike stepped inside. *Horses are in the corral. I watered 'em* "Good. We'll talk in the morning," Teaspoon stated quickly, calmly. "Get some rest. Rachel you got room for them at the house?" "Of course. Whenever you're ready," Rachel smiled easily and followed Teaspoon out the door. The moment the door was closed the boys turned to Ike, "She said you're expecting trouble," Buck stated calmly. *Uh yeah, the men that held us. They weren't exactly overjoyed when we skipped out on them. Ruined their fun.* Ike felt the anger broiling even as he tried to control it. "We caught up with the tracks of five riders just west of a wagon and burnt out shack," Kid drawled quickly. *Did the Marshall say how long he'd hold them?* Ike signed quickly, his mind working feverishly. "We didn't uh didn't find them, lost their tracks when they rode off into the creek," Jimmy replied noting the uneasily scared looks Ike and Beth shared. "Clearing had one fresh grave and a fresh cave in." "Tyler," Beth stared at Ike. "That's all six." *Yeah. Six but that don't much mean anything. We only knew of six.* "I wonder if I should write to my aunt, tell her what happened. I doubt if she's interested but they were sisters," Beth quickly changed the subject, she didn't want to know if there were any more she just wanted to get on with her life. "You thinkin' those men will come here?" Lou asked softly noting the unease and fear in both their eyes. "Yes," Beth replied seriously looking at Ike. *You think your kin'll show up for you?* "Don't much matter if they do. I'm not going anywhere." * Yes boss,* Ike smiled at her. "I imagine your friends will want to talk. I'm just gonna curl up by the fire and catch a nap. Wake me when you're going to bed." Ike nodded quickly and watched her bed down. As was usual her back was to the fire, her clothes wrapped around her tightly as she settled into sleep. Covering her with a spare grey blanket, Ike settled at the table a cup of coffee magically appearing before him. "We should've looked for you longer," Lou apologized softly. Ike shook his head, *You wouldn't have found us. We headed south in the creek before turning east and going over pure rock.* Ike admitted picking at the table. "You okay?" Kid asked softly, "You look like hell and she don't look much better." *Should have seen us a couple of months ago. Closer to dead than alive.* Ike smiled harshly and took a sip of coffee. *But to answer your question no. I don't think I'm ever going to be okay. Not like before. The physical wounds are healed, but it ain't the same.* "They're going to hurt you know," Buck muttered darkly. "They show up and they're gonna suffer. Just like they would have if we'd foung 'em. Found you." Ike shrugged quickly, uneasily. *We'd learned not to rely on anyone but each other. You could've rode right by us and it wouldn't have made much difference. I wasn't goin to leave her behind and she wouldn't have revealed herself.* "What happened on that mountain Ike?" Jimmy asked softly, his gaze taking in the haunted look in Ike's eyes and the slight tremble in his hands. "I know it must have been a nightmare." *We met the devil himself. And that's all I'm gonna say on that subject. You'll figure it out soon enough when the nightmares start back up again.* "You must have spent weeks worried out of your mind," Lou spoke softly, hoping to keep Ike talking without upsetting him. *Worried? No, I never worried. We lived in fear day in and day out. Fear they'd catch us, fear that the cold would get us, fear that the nightmares would get too strong. Fear that she'd realize she deserves so much better.* "Somehow I don't think she feels the same way," Lou replied seriously. "She's stuck with you through an awful lot of bad. You really sure that you're going to throw all that away?" Ike shook his head, *I don't really want to give her up but she deserves a chance to have a normal life. We'll see what happens if her kin shows up.* "Come on," Kid said rising and stretching tiredly, "Best turn in before Rachel comes back. She'll have our hides if we ain't bright eyed in the morning." A chorus of murmured agreement circled the table, "Look I'll bunk in with Lou. You and Beth can share my bunk," Kid declared. "Unless of course someone else wants to bunk with me." "Nope," Cody shook his head quickly, his hands raised in surrender. "Ain't nobody gonna say a word. You're a blanket hog." "Good night Ike," Kid smiled at his friend. "Glad to have you home." *Night,* Ike signed quickly. Waiting until the others had bedded down, Ike carried Beth to the bunk and tucked her in. Stripping down to his skin, he slipped on a pair of his longjohns and crawled in next to her unaware of the dark eyes following his every movement. Chapter Fourteen Jerking awake Beth pushed at the blankets, a silent scream on her lips. While rare, the nightmares were potent enough to ruin any chance for more sleep. Instead they haunted the darkness until dawn, leaving her exhausted beyond belief. Slipping over Ike she padded barefoot out the door into the cool spring night. The fear that someone could punish Ike ate at her, making her uncomfortable. She'd rather die before she let someone hurt him again. Despite everything they'd gone through or maybe because of it she'd gotten a rather intimate view of his code of ethics and loved him. Blinking she huddled in the long wool skirt and jacket as a slight breeze kicked up. "They must have really hurt him if those scars are any indication," the calm steady voice had her jumping with fear. Swallowing harshly against the fear clutching at her throat, Beth stepped away from the man standing in front of the closed bunkhouse door. Letting him talk seemed safest and she held her tongue in check. "Not that I'm saying they hurt you any less, cause I'm not. I noticed the scars on his back earlier. The shadows in his eyes." "Why ask me about it? Do you think I'm gonna tell on him?" "Ike's my best friend. The one man in this world that I've trusted with my life for a very long time. We've weathered storms together before. This is no different." "I love him," Beth whispered softly, "I won't betray him. I promised." "Ike's a gentleman. He'll do anything to protect someone weaker than him," Buck stated quickly. "But then I think we both know that." "This time we sorta protected each other. I'm not going to tell you anything. We survived one hell, I won't send him to the gallows for something he had no choice in," Beth sighed and moved toward the door her hand resting on her stomach. "Not for anything or anyone." "Then we understand one another perfectly," Buck declared moving slightly to hold the door handle. "I'll die before I let anyone hurt him any further. Even you," Buck spoke softly, sensing her fear and the anger warring with it. "Then you have nothing to worry about from me Mister Cross. Because Ike and this baby are all that matter to me," Beth whispered and slipped into the bunkhouse. Indeed they understood one another completely. They'd risked everything to get away, she wouldn't risk anymore - not even for these people. ******* Watching Ike and Beth settle in around the station Rachel noted the seamless communication between them. More importantly, she saw the way Ike accepted the boys and Lou easily but still held something back. Beth found it difficult to open up, to interact with the others, due mostly to the abuse she'd endured at the hands of those men Or at least that was Rachel's guess. Instead she threw herself into working about the place, and taking care of Ike. Rachel wondered how long it would take before both Ike and Beth could accept the others readily. She knew there was a lot they weren't revealing but she couldn't bring herself to push for answers. The easy acceptance of Lou and the boys kept the tensions to a minimum. There were moments when things looked difficult but they passed easily, a smile or a nod easily deflecting the problem. "Not much longer till that baby comes huh?" Teaspoon asked looking steadily at Rachel as he sat on the porch steps. "Couple more weeks at the latest. I think both Ike and Beth are anxious to have it born. They feel restricted by the lack of mobility." "She seems to have accepted the baby's presence so easily. Almost like she doesn't blame it for what happened." "We'll see what happens when its born," Rachel advised softly. "I have a feeling things will get interesting to say the least." "Still ain't heard from her kin," Teaspoon said. "She asked me about a letter there day 'fore yesterday. Told her there wasn't anything." "I think she's hoping it never shows up. She ain't old enough to know up from down. She should be sitting in a classroom with books instead of planning on bringing a baby into this world." "Should be's don't matter much these days," Teaspoon drawled and glanced up at the sound of a rider approaching. "RIDER COMING!" He hollered and watched as Cody mounted up and was gone with the mochilla in hand. "Well not much we can do for now. Buck was saying you put Ike back on the runs." "Yep, got one coming up tomorrow. It's a short one, he'll be gone overnight. He didn't seem to anxious to get back in the saddle but then he's got a good reason to want to stay here." "Well we'll see how things go," Rachel advised quickly and frowned as her gaze swept the yard. "Come to think of it, have you seen Beth today? I haven't seen her since yesterday." "Nope. Didn't see her at dinnertime either. Ike say anything?" "No, just kinda looked at us strange, ate his dinner and went to bed." "Maybe you should go check on her," Teaspoon suggested glancing at the house. "Could be she got a scare and is hiding." "I'll check," Rachel rose smoothly and headed inside. "Until then make yourself useful and bring in those sheets Mister Hunter!" "Sheesh woman, got work of my own to do!" Teaspoon protested as the door closed quickly and rose. A glance in the yard revealed Kid and Lou and he smiled to himself as he sauntered over toward them. "Rachel wants you two to bring in the sheets. And don't go dirtying them either!" he drawled and headed back into town. Lou glanced at Kid and shook her head, "She told him to do it you know." "I know," Kid grinned at her. "But when has he ever done anything she tells him to?" "Come on," Lou sighed. "You can learn the fine art of sheet folding." Kid chuckled and followed her. Chapter Fifteen Rachel knocked on the bedroom door and opened it a crack, "Beth? You okay?" "Yes," the softer than usual whisper had Rachel stepping further into the room and looking at the woman sitting by the window. Beth was dressed in her customary blouse and long skirt, but a blanket lay wrapped around her shoulders. "Just wondering since we haven't seen you since yesterday," Rachel spoke softly, not wanting to get the girl's defenses up. A loud voice, or a hint of anger and she'd freeze up. "Oh, I was busy," Beth replied tired looking out the window with a slight smile. Rachel frowned then glanced behind her at the soft whimper from behind her. Laying in a dresser drawer, wrapped in a soft blanket was a newborn. "You could have asked for help," Rachel advised quickly kneeling next to the baby and tracing a finger over his face. "Had enough of people staring at me to last a lifetime," Beth shrugged. "Didn't see no point in having anyone else looking at my naked self." Rachel frowned slightly at her cold words, "You want me to go get Doc Harper? He'll look the baby over.." "He. It's a boy, and no. Ike already did, Doc said the baby's healthy." "Beth, I know its hard but if you want to talk," Rachel offered. "I imagine its pretty hard looking at him." "No," Beth looked at Rachel, "Harmon is our son, what's so hard about that?" Rachel smiled and looked at Beth, "Can I hold him?" "Just don't wake him," Beth replied getting up easily and walking over to where the baby lay sleeping. "He ain't cried too much so I've been trying to keep him as quiet as possible." "He's a baby," Rachel said cuddling the little one. "They cry its natural. Don't you worry bout him disturbing anyone okay. If he cries, let him." Beth nodded and watched her closely as she held Harmon McSwain. "Teaspoon put Ike back on the runs?" "Yes," Rachel nodded. "He's got one tomorrow. Be gone overnight." "Ike figures it'll be good. Give us some money in our pockets." "You do a lot of work around here Beth. Teaspoon's been holding onto your pay for you." "Didn't know he was paying me. Just trying to earn our keep." Rachel smiled as Harmon began to fuss, "You don't need to worry bout that. Now then, can I tell the boys and Lou they have a nephew or are you going to?" "You think they'll be upset about it?" Beth asked seriously. "I mean they don't know.." "Harmon's Ike's son. Don't matter if he's blood or not," Rachel said handing the baby over and walking to the door. "He is blood," Beth whispered under her breath smiling down at her son. "Right Harmon, your Pa's pretty proud of you." Rachel felt a chill go through her at the words the girl had spoken despite the fact she knew she wasn't to hear them. Things were starting to fall into place and Rachel wondered if she'd misunderstood. Slipping soundlessly from the room, Rachel headed for the barn and Ike. Ike glanced up at the shadow the fell across the barn floor and sighed, looked like Rachel had come from the house. *Afternoon Rachel.* "Ike, have you got a minute?" Rachel asked glancing at Buck who put his shovel down and hurried out of the barn. *What's up?* "You have a beautiful boy," Rachel spoke softly in case the boys were listening. *We think so,* Ike declared easily. *But that isn't what you wanted to talk about is it?* "Beth expressed some concern on how the boys'll take the news," Rachel shrugged, "I think they'll be elated. It isn't going to matter about blood or not." *Harmon is my son. Nothing else matters,* Ike signed coldly, fear creeping into his expression. If they found out Harmon really was his would Teaspoon arrest him? Would it matter what had happened or would he pay for the crimes committed? Doubt and unease warred within him, making him long for the privacy of their room. "I know. But then, we both know he really is your flesh and blood don't we?" *You gonna tell Teaspoon?* "Why would that matter?" Rachel frowned at the dart of fear in Ike's eyes. *They hang men who hurt women.* "I'd say you've already paid for any sin you committed," Rachel advised softly. "Honestly I'd say that the payment is written across your back in the scars you wear." *Don't go tellin' folks. We'll leave if you do.* Ike declared angrily. *We promised.* "Ain't nothing to tell," Rachel smiled at Ike. "Now then I'm off to tell the boys they have a nephew, and Teaspoon needs to be told he's a grandfather." *Rachel,* Ike paused. *We've both paid for our sins. She deserves some peace.* Rachel smiled easily, "Oh I'm sure she'll get it. We're pretty understandin' around here. Besides we love you, and as Lou put it. Family sticks together!" Ike nodded and watched the older woman walk away. He didn't know how the boys would take the news, but then maybe they wouldn't dig too deeply. With a sharp sigh he went back to work, no point in drawing attention to a complicated situation. At least until it was warranted. ******* The news that Beth'd had the baby spread quickly and the boys all clustered around Ike wanting to see the little boy. Only Buck looked at him strangely for a moment before smiling and asking about a name. "So you name him yet?" *Harmon Buck McSwain,* Ike replied proudly. *Doc said he was healthy as could be. Course Beth worries cause she was sick when she was carryin' him.* "Harmon?" Cody wrinkled his nose, "Now you couldn't come up with a more fittin' name for the youngster?" "Harmon seems the most appropriate," Beth replied moving into the shade thrown off by the barn. "It fit him." Moving over to look at the bundle she carried, everyone oohed at the sleeping little boy in her arms. "Well, he takes after Ike that's for sure," Cody drawled. "Ain't got a hair on his head." Beth laughed softly and looked at Ike who merely shrugged and smiled. It was true, Harmon was his father's son. She'd worried more about his health than her own, flat out refusing to let the doctor examine her and Ike hadn't budged either. Despite being friendly and semi-relaxed with the boys, Lou, Rachel, and Teaspoon neither was overly anxious to allow anyone to prod at them. Having the doctor examine her would simply have been too intrusive, too much of a stretch on her limited patience, and she'd have freaked. "So you gonna join us for dinner tonight?" Lou asked and held out her hands with a smile. "Can I?" Beth smiled and eased her son into the other woman's arms. Watching closely she tucked the loose corner of the blanket back around her son and folded her hands together. "Figuring on it. Kind busy yesterday or I'd have joined you then." "Considering you've given us this little guy, I'd say you're forgiven," Kid smiled at Lou and the baby. She was a natural with them, completely at ease and it showed. He wondered about their future, he knew she'd look beautiful with her belly rounded with his child, knew she'd be an awesome mother. "Kid," Lou's warning tone had him blinking and smiling at her. Shaking her head she jiggled the little boy. "He's so light. Can't weigh more than six pounds." "Seven pounds, nine ounces," Beth replied. "Or at least that's what Doc said when he weighed him." "Y'all can see him more at supper. Right now you've got work to do," Teaspoon's voice had everyone groaning. "Best be off with you." "See you later Harmon," Lou whispered handing him carefully back to his mother and smiling at Beth. *Afternoon Teaspoon,* Ike said with a nod as he moved closer to Beth. "Ike, Beth. Rachel told me you'd have your baby. Came to see for myself how good lookin' he is." "He's gorgeous," Beth whispered adjusting the blanket so that he could see him. She smiled as the baby crinkled up his nose and waved one fist about in his sleep. "A perfect little boy." Teaspoon smiled and looked at the baby. Indeed he was perfect, a bit red, a bit of a squirmer but perfect none the less. "Well I'd say congratulations are in order then. I imagine you'll want to wait on takin' that run then?" Ike looked at Beth who bit her lip and shrugged before turning back to Teaspoon, *We can't afford to wait. As is we're running on a few cents we got left from the money Lou loaned us.* "Lou loaned you money?" Teaspoon frowned. "Didn't Rachel tell you I was paying you for the work you done around here?" *Yes, but it ain't payday. Besides what little we've earned isn't going to be enough to get the necessities. Beth needs new shoes, clothes, the baby need clothes, and diapers. Waiting to take a run just means I'm not supporting my family,* Ike replied seriously. *I'll take the run.* Teaspoon nodded, there was no faulting his logic. A man as proud as Ike would need to show that he could support his wife and child. Without that proof Ike would merely find other means to make money, and Teaspoon worried about them leaving. He didn't want to see his family such as it was scattered to the four corners of the world. Nope he'd let them make up their minds about things then they'd stay a little closer. "I'll let you get back to work then. Miss Beth," Teaspoon touched the brim of his hat and sauntered off. *Rachel figured it out,* Ike stated calmly. *She knows he's mine.* "She said she wouldn't tell when I asked her about it after she got back from talkin' to you. Said it wouldn't matter either way to anyone but us." *Still its better if we don't bring it up again,* Ike replied seriously and rubbed her cheek. *I take care of what's mine.* Beth smiled and nodded, "I know. I'm going into town. Gonna stop at the store, pick up some material. If I can get enough with what I've got perhaps I'll be able to make a new outfit. This blouse and skirt's getting a bit worn in areas." *See Teaspoon. Ask him if you can get a couple of extra dollars, enough to get whatever you need.* "Yes Ike," Beth replied and with a smile started for the Marshall's office and the mercantile. Shaking his head Ike grinned before returning his attention to the stalls to be cleaned out. Chapter Sixteen Dinner was loud, boisterous even and Beth merely smiled through it all. She'd learned that the boys and Lou while loud, were harmless and even protective of those who they claimed as their own. Clearing away the dinner dishes she listened to the gentle ribbing Ike got from everyone even as Rachel went over the next three days worth of chores. Tensing slightly when she realized that Ike was going to be gone for at least two days, Beth forced herself to relax. If she needed anything, or if anything felt uncomfortable she could always come talk to the boys. "Don't stay up too late boys. You're late for your run, I'll skin your hide - Ike," Rachel warned softly before bidding them goodnight and heading for her place. "Night," Lou rose and smothered a yawn. "Try not to make to much noise." "You going to bed kinda early ain't ya?" Cody commented glancing at Kid with a puzzled look. "I've also been up longer than you. I was up before dawn remember," Lou shot back angrily. "If you'd gotten the wood like you were told to last night I could have slept in." Beth hid her smile at Lou's sharp tone. Despite her size, Lou was as unbending as steel. She wasn't scared of the boys, matter of fact she gave as good as she got for the most part. The only one she didn't lose her temper with was Kid. Instead their little wars were often long, silent, and had the boys scared spitless. "Night Lou," Beth rose smoothly, gracefully. "Harmon and I are going to turn in. We're exhausted." "Night Beth," the boys instant chorused rising slightly as Beth moved around the room. With a grin, Ike looked at the boys as the door closed and Beth moved off toward the main house. *You're all nuts.* "Thank you," Cody replied with a smug grin. "Coming from you that means so much!" Laughing Ike shook his head before turning serious. *Beth might get a little strange while I'm gone. Just go with it. Okay?* "Strange?" Buck frowned. "What do you mean?" *It'll be the first time in almost nine months that we haven't been within whistling distance. She may hide out until I get back or she could become a constant shadow. Beth knows I trust you guys, she knows if there's a problem she can come to you. Just don't act like its freaking you out too badly.* *During the day ain't too bad. She's learned to be a lot more self-reliant. But come night time,* Ike shrugged. *She won't blow out the lamp until I get there. She's still scared of the dark.* Buck nodded quickly even as Kid looked at Ike steadily, "Something tells me that both of you have reason to fear the dark." *The dark?* Ike shook his head firmly, a twisted smile gracing it slightly before fading. *Daylight brought the Devil in. Darkness only allows him to haunt us. Night.* "Night," Kid said as Ike left quickly a frown on his face. "You sure Ike's himself?" "As close to it as he's gonna get. Still ain't taken off his shirt, refuses to even think about it." Jimmy drawled. "He's working himself to exhaustion with it on in this heat." "You ain't seen the scars," Buck drawled rising to grab another cup of coffee his memory serving him as he recalled the deep wounds on Ike's back. He wondered if they'd been made by a whip, or something else. He'd noticed the puckering and raised scars that told of burns, and knew that the pain Ike had endured had been truly horrific. "Still we don't care one bit," Lou muttered from her bunk. "We've all got scars." "Not like this," Buck replied. "I have never seen anyone with that kind of marks. It goes without speaking that they beat him, but that ain't the half of it if the scars are any indication. Looks like they burnt him to." "No wonder he wants to hide them," Cody whistled softly. "Maybe if we just give him time he'll realize we don't care. That we accept him completely." "We'll see," Buck shrugged and glanced at Kid. "Just don't go acting differently after Ike's gone. You may find yourself in a bad spot if you do." "Beth's part of our family now," Noah shrugged. "Ain't no difference." Kid nodded and smiled slightly, he felt the unease same as Buck did. Something told him that the nightmares that Ike said haunted them would return in full force once Beth was alone, and she'd suffered a great deal more than Ike - even he knew that much. All one had to do was look at the bundle in her arms to know that! Climbing into his bunk with a slight prayer that the next two days would pass uneventfully, Kid closed his eyes. There would be no telling what could happen, it was up to them to make sure Beth remained safe and sound. ******* Watching Ike ride out Beth stared at the fading dust long after he was gone from sight. Harmon was currently sleeping which meant she had some time to kill. Sucking in a steadying breath, hoping to calm the butterflies in her stomach, Beth glanced around. The boys had returned to working with that bay gelding they all hated so much, Rachel was doing some baking and going over her study plan, and Teaspoon was somewhere doing something! Exhaling sharply Beth shrugged, she'd best get some wood chopped. If there was plenty cut than nobody could complain about none to bring in. Locating the axe she tested the edge and frowned, "Don't nobody sharpen their axes anymore?" she grumbled and went looking for a sharpening wheel. Locating it in the barn she quickly put the edge back on the axe and headed for the chopping block. The sharp crack of the axe splitting into wood had the boys tensing and glancing at each other uneasily, "Who's cutting wood?" Lou asked quickly her eyes skittering past Kid. "Beth?" Buck suggested listening as the crack echoed again. "Ike said she might do something odd." "But chop wood?" Lou frowned. "That's Cody's chore for the day." "Which will never get done if we leave him to it," Kid replied seriously ignoring Cody's glare. "I guess that means Cody can go tell her she don't need to do it." "You guys are all ganging up on me. I said I'd get it done." "Sure you did. But Christmas will be here before that woodpile gets chopped and stacked. Now go tell her she don't have to do it," Lou snapped and turned her attention back to the bay Jimmy was currently holding. "Oh for.." Cody snapped stalking off toward the chopping block. Coming around the edge of the barn he stopped, the wood pile had already been attacked. Several logs had been cut, split and were tossed to one side. It wouldn't take long for Beth to finish the job if she didn't stop. Frowning slightly Cody shrugged, he'd rather cut wood than deal with Lou's temper. "Beth?" Cody called stepping closer to her and ducking as the axe came round with her. "Whoa, there girl. I ain't a piece of wood!" Cody protested noting the dart of fear in her eyes even as the axe trembled in her grip. "Sorry," Beth panted as she held the axe raised slightly like a weapon. "Something you needed or just trying to figure out how to get out of working?" "I'm suppose to chop the wood today. Lou gave me shit for lettin' you do it. Said I was to come tell you not to do anymore." "Hmmph," Beth shrugged sharply. "Waitin' on you is like watching paint dry. A long, boring prospect with no noticeable difference at the end. Get lost, I'll do it." "But Lou said.." "I have the axe," Beth warned softly, steel in her tone. "Whose more deadly at the moment?" "Point taken, I'll um just go back to watching the boys." "Wise choice!" Beth snapped watching him disappear. "Scaring folks like that. Damn fool don't know he could've lost his head if he hadn't called out!" ******* "Well?" Lou glared at Cody who looked pale. "She threatened me with the axe if I didn't go away," Cody shrugged and hopped up onto the fence. "Said she was more deadly than you at the moment." "And you believed her?" Jimmy snorted. "She nearly took my head off when I walked up! I ain't never seen nobody turn an axe into a weapon that quickly!" "Best leave her be," Buck suggested looking at them seriously. "If she wants help she'll tell us." "Would she even ask though?" Lou questioned uneasily glancing to where the rapid crack of wood being split echoed in the still morning air. "Don't much matter. She's got a right to do whatever she wants. If chopping wood keeps her entertained, who are we to argue?" Kid replied looking seriously at Lou. "Just means we don't have to do it later." Lou nodded and turned back to the horse as Jimmy crawled into the saddle. If Beth wanted to chop a little wood it saved her having to do it later. ******* Rachel stepped into the bunkhouse and froze. The boys stood clustered together in the middle of the room looking shocked, and scared - a room that was suspiciously spotless. The floors had been scrubbed, the walls had been dusted, windows polished. The bunks had been stripped, the mattresses turned and remade so neatly that Rachel knew it hadn't been the boys that had done it. Clothes that normally would have lain tossed across the end of a bunk were folded neatly on the trunks. Trunks that had been pulled out from under the beds and were currently sitting lining one wall with a colored tag sticking out of them. Even the table had been hit. There was a checkered tablecloth on the table, and it had been set with a flower arrangement in the middle. There were currently eight places set on it, plate, cup, cutlery, all neatly arranged and waiting. The wood box next to the stove sat filled to overflowing and even the fireplace's wood box was filled to the brim. A bundle of kindling and dried grass sat next to it awaiting lighting. The delicious smell that filled the room had her glancing at the boys, "Okay which one of you thought you could cook tonight?" "Not us," Cody protested. "We've been outside all day. Even lunch, Beth brought us some sandwiches and lemonade." "Where is she?" Rachel glanced around uneasily. "We ain't sure," Lou said softly. "We come in after washing up and this was like this. Figured maybe you'd done it for some special reason." "No," Rachel shook her head slowly. "But I think I should check on whatever's cooking. You boys might want to think about taking your boots off. Looks like she really scrubbed this floor." "There's a surprise," Cody grumbled knowing he was going to regret letting her have her way. "Ouch!" Cody glared at Lou as he rubbed the back of his head. "That's an idea Lou," Rachel said lifting the lid on one of the pots on the stove. It looked like potatoes were boiling. Lifting the other lid she smiled, mixed vegetables, probably from the cellar Rachel thought. Obviously Beth had felt the need to do something around the place today. "What's all the hubbub about?" Teaspoon demanded stepping into the bunkhouse and getting glared at. "Lou hit me!" Cody snapped. "Beth cleaned up in here," Rachel said. "I merely suggested the boys show some respect for that and remove their muddy boots. Lou suggested they put on something that didn't smell." "Well might be an idea," Teaspoon drawled looking around at the spotless interior. "Course someone might want to tell her she don't have to work so hard." "I tried," Cody muttered sulking as he kicked off his boots. "And she threatened me with the axe." "Why did she have the axe?" Teaspoon asked. "She was chopping wood," Lou replied glaring at Cody. "I told her.." "Evening," Beth's soft voice had everyone glancing at her. Her long hair was pulled back into a thick braid that hung past her waist and she wore her usual attire, a plain shirt and her long skirt she'd arrived in. "The place looks fantastic," Rachel smiled at her easily. "But really you didn't need to." "Didn't have nothing else to do," Beth replied opening the side door on the cook stove and pulling a pan of fresh buns out. "Harmon was sleeping and it was too nice to sit and darn so I came in here. It kinda needed a good going over." Rachel flushed slightly and glanced at Teaspoon, "Still you should've just gotten one of the boys to help." "They'd have been under foot. 'Sides, Ike said I could." "Do you ever do anything he says you shouldn't?" Cody snapped then ducked when the others whirled to look at him. "Yes as a matter of fact I do," Beth snapped glaring at him. "I just prefer not to." "Lord help us," Jimmy muttered glaring at Cody. "Thank you Beth for tidying up in here. Uh who's bunk's whose?" "There's a matching color patch on the bunk. Top left corner. I used some of Rachel's material scraps." Jimmy nodded and glanced at his bunk. "So what did you make for dinner?" "Food. Momma always said if you ask too many questions you'll be so busy you can't eat," Beth replied seriously as she moved about. "Oh drat." "What?" "I left the pies in the big house. Best get them," Beth muttered as she headed for the door. "You want some help?" Lou offered. "I don't see Harmon over here." "That's cause he's asleep in our room. I'll grab him right now," Beth frowned as she looked at the table. "I'm forgettin' something." "Coffee?" Teaspoon suggested looking at the table with no coffee in sight. "On the stove," Beth replied heading out the door a frown on her face. "Ike did say she might act strange," Noah reminded them. "Besides, it ain't like she's done anything that didn't really need doing. We ain't exactly kept this place up." "Oh shut up!" Cody snapped. "We work hard." "Yes we do," Kid shot back. "What happened to you?" Laughing at Cody, the boys put their boots by the foot of their bunks before settling at the table. If the worse thing to happen with Ike gone was for Beth to clean the bunkhouse, they'd survive. ******* "Well Beth, I have to say you are a mighty fine cook," Teaspoon said leaning back in his chair as he patted his stomach. "Almost hated to leave that last bit of pie." Beth smiled, "You should see what I can do over a camp fire," she chuckled. "But I am glad you enjoyed it. Coffee?" "Thank you. So what are you planning on doing tomorrow?" Teaspoon asked glancing around. "The school house?" "What time is Ike home?" "Due in about dinner time," Teaspoon replied seriously. "Worried are you?" Beth shrugged. "Just feels different is all," she replied. "He should be home tomorrow night. Now then you did such a good job on dinner, I think its only fair the boys help you with the cleanin'. Boys ain't about to listen to no complaining either. You can help out." "But Teaspoon.." "No buts," Teaspoon replied seriously as Beth moved about gathering the dirty dishes. "Rachel worked at her lesson plans and such today. Even baked a cake. You boys worked hard, but you ain't had no baby. That's hard work so I want you to help out. Beth didn't have to clean up in here you know." "Yes sir," Lou smirked at Cody. "And look she don't have the axe Cody!" "Oh shut up!" Cody chuckled at Lou's teasing and tossed his napkin at her. Laughing at Cody's discomfort the boys rose smoothly to help Beth doing the dishes and tidying up. Watching the ease with which Beth folded the table clothe and tossed the napkins in the laundry they glanced at each other. Tomorrow looked like it was going to be laundry day. "Put your washables in the basket," Beth nodded at the basket she'd started. "Tomorrow I'll wash 'em up." "Now Beth we do appreciate.." Cody started only to shut up at her glare. "Put them in the basket Cody or they don't get washed. I don't go through Ike's belongin's to retrieve his laundry, I'll not do it for you." "Ike's too neat to hide his dirty clothes," Buck smirked at Cody. "Yes ma'am," he said at Beth's look. Glancing at Rachel and Teaspoon, he noted their shared look, noted the way they hid their smiles and sipped on the coffee. "Good. Harmon's gonna get to fussing shortly so I'm off. Try not to destroy the house!" Beth said slipping out into the night with her son tucked firmly against her chest. ?"That woman makes me look lazy," Rachel muttered as she glanced at Teaspoon. "She chopped the entire woodpile, stacked it and filled the boxes. Cleaned up in here, made dinner, and still found the time to take care of Harmon." "We'll see how the night goes Rachel," Buck suggested. "Ike said the nights worse than the day." "She really is nervous without him here," Rachel looked at the boys. "Don't you go upsetting her with tales you hear me. She don't need that!" "We'll be on our best behavior," Kid promised as he took his cup of coffee and headed for the door. "And since Cody did the least amount of work today, I say he can finish the cleaning up in here." "You may have something there Kid," Jimmy agreed easily as he followed his friend. "So you ready for your ride coming up?" "I'm always ready for a ride Jimmy!" Kid's soft chuckle filled the bunkhouse as he settled on the porch to wait for the dishes to be done and put away. Chapter Seventeen Tucking Harmon into his comfortable blankets, Beth wrapped up in one of Ike's shirts, her blouse, and her skirt and lay on the bed. A glance through the shadows revealed the chair under the door handle, and the rather long, nasty looking stick that made sure the window wouldn't get opened from outside. Closing her eyes she sighed and cleared her mind trying to find sleep even as she felt the nervous fear in her heart. Without Ike beside her she felt cold, alone, exposed and she hated that feeling. Hated knowing that her exposure had at one time meant pain and humiliation. Pushing aside those thoughts, she struggled with finding a hint of peace so she could sleep. ******* Buck jerked awake suddenly and rolled over to see a slim figure standing silhouetted by the flames of the fireplace. Scrambling into a sitting position he frowned as he realized it was Beth standing there with Harmon. "What's wrong?" he whispered not wanting to wake the others. "Can I sleep with you?" Beth whispered tearfully. "Please." "What?" "I promise we won't take up much room. I just can't.." With a sigh Buck moved over toward the wall only to have Beth shake her head. "I'll sleep on the inside if I can," she whispered brokenly. With a patient nod, Buck moved over and rubbed at his face as she climbed over him with the baby tucked against her body. As soon as she was laying down he settled back into his pillow noting the easy way she adjusted the covers so she was laying under them before rolling over with her back to him and closing her eyes. The hitching sound of her breath and the painful, tearful sound of her voice told him she'd obviously been haunted by one of those nightmares Ike had said they shared. Closing his eyes he wondered just how much sleep he was going to get even as he slid back into sleep, the warmth from Beth's body seeping into his skin. ******* Wincing at the slightly muffled sounds of a baby Jimmy sat up on his bunk and glanced around. Everyone was where they were supposed to be but he could hear the soft snore of a baby. Rubbing his eyes he glanced at the others as they woke up and began looking around. "Go back to sleep," Buck's growl had everyone glancing at him. Jimmy frowned at Buck who lay perched on the edge of his bed his blanket tucked in tightly against his body. "You okay? You look like you're about to fall out of bed." "I've got plenty of room, just go back to sleep," Buck whispered softly. "Trust me." With a shake of their heads the others lay back down and snuggled into the blankets. It was entirely possible that Beth and Harmon were in the bunkhouse somewhere. Slipping soundlessly back into sleep Jimmy pulled the blankets up around him and turned his back on the others. Buck glanced quickly over his shoulder at the dozing Beth and sighed. Obviously not really awake, she'd stirred when Harmon had begun to fuss and the soft sounds of her nursing her son had woken the others. Briefly he wondered how he was going to explain this to Ike then pushed the thoughts aside and closed his eyes. He'd think of something, until then he'd get as much sleep as he could. He was going to need it if today had been any indication. With the blankets tucked back up under his chin he sighed and slid deeper into sleep even as he felt Beth move so she was laying against him. Moving her over gently he slid back a couple of inches on the bunk and prayed for a dreamless night for both of them. ******* Rachel smiled at the picture the boys made. Obviously still sleeping they hadn't stirred when the rooster crowed, but they would as soon as she made coffee. Briefly she wondered how Beth's night had been, she'd heard the chair being moved in the girl's room and felt bad about it. Moving into the room she made coffee preparations easily, familiarly. Figuring the boys would sleep until it was brewed she turned to go gather eggs and bumped into a very sleepy looking Buck Cross. "Morning," she smiled at him easily. "I didn't mean to wake you." "You didn't," Buck grumbled as he helped himself to a dipper of water. "I was dozing, heard you come in." "You okay?" "Tired," Buck yawned and gestured to his bunk. "Had company last night." Rachel looked past him to where Beth lay curled up on his bunk sleeping soundly, Harmon tucked in by her side. "What happened?" "Don't know. She showed up sometime in the night, scared out of her wits, crying and such. Wanting to know if she could sleep in with me. Couldn't turn her away Rachel," Buck shrugged uneasily. "She was bad off." "No of course not. Nightmare probably. Its okay," Rachel said softly. "Ike may not think so." "I think if she came to you, its because Ike knows. Besides, Ike trusts you completely and obviously he told her she could trust you. Take it as a good sign." "I hope you're right. Cause the boys are gonna wanna know what woke 'em up last night and I'm not sure how to explain it." "Tell the truth," Rachel replied seriously. "Now then we've got work to do. I'm gonna start breakfast if you want to check on the horses." "Yes ma'am," Buck said pulling his pants on and reaching for his boots. "If the boys wake up tell 'em not to wake Beth. She had a rough night even over here. Spent most of it crying." "Don't worry about it Buck. Go check on the stock," Rachel said with a smile. Shaking her head as the door closed, she glanced at the others as they began to stir. "Keep it quiet. Baby's asleep," she warned softly as they looked at her. "I thought I heard the baby last night," Jimmy grunted. "Thought I was imagining it." "No, she had a bad night. Don't wake her up or Buck'll have your hide." "Where is he?" "Gone to check on the stock." "Cause she slept there last night," Rachel replied firmly. "Couldn't stay in her room. Now quit asking fool questions and get yourselves ready for the day. Coffee's gonna be a few minutes." "You are evil," Cody grumbled quickly. "Truly evil." "Just get dressed. If Beth can sleep in her clothes, the least you can do is be dressed when she wakes up." "Morning everyone," Teaspoon called as he entered the bunkhouse and everyone winced when Beth shot up in bed and hit her head on the top bunk. "Ouch," Rachel cringed as Beth grabbed her head and held it. "You okay?" "I think so," Beth replied at the stinging, burning, agony. Taking her hand away she cringed at the slight touch of blood before glancing at the man standing in the doorway. "Morning Mister Hunter." "Sorry Beth, didn't mean to startle you," Teaspoon apologized keeping questions to himself. "Did I wake Harmon?" Beth glanced at her son whose eyes were open and he was watching her without making a sound. "I think so, but then it could be he was awake before me." "Well I see coffee's on," Teaspoon said pouring a cup of the dark brew. Taking a sip he smiled at Beth who fussed with Harmon's clothes and ignored the looks everyone sent her. Casting a glance at Rachel, Teaspoon noted the slight frown but held his tongue. Whatever was happening would come to light soon enough, no sense in drawing attention to it unnecessarily. ******* Catching Beth on the porch Rachel sighed as she glanced skyward. It was early afternoon and the boys had all disappeared doing whatever they were supposed to. "You must be glad Ike's due back in soon." "Yeah," Beth sighed and played with the frayed edge of her skirt hem. "I missed him." "You did alright last night. Scared Buck though when you crawled in with him." "Didn't know what else to do," Beth shrugged. "I've gotten so used to sleeping next to someone that being by myself was a little harder than I thought it would be." "You know, if you need to talk to someone, I'll listen," Rachel offered quickly. "I realize that you probably don't want to tell the details. But if it would help with sleeping and such.." "I promised Ike I wouldn't say anything," Beth replied quickly. Rachel nodded, "Sometimes it isn't what you say that reveals the details. It must have been hard having control of your life taken away from you. I know Ike suffered greatly, he's too respectful of others not to. Besides that the scars he wears tell me that he struggled against them." "We made a choice," Beth whispered painfully. "Life or death. It was kinda obvious that as soon as they'd had their fun they were going to kill us. We just didn't want to let them have that bit of control. Besides, they deserve to suffer like we did. Ike still blames himself sometimes." "You don't?" "Hell no!" Beth shook her head quickly. "Not once in the entirety of our time together did he ever make me feel cheap, used. He talked to me, and he tried to protect me. Granted he couldn't protect me from everything but he tried. He could have let them kill me but he didn't. Ike shouldn't feel bad about that." "Gratitude it a very weak reason to stay with someone, so is fear." "I'm not scared of Ike, and my level of gratitude isn't enough for me to spend the rest of my life with him. I spent too much time on my hands and knees in the dirt for me to think like that. I love Ike for who he is, not for what happened." "You sound pretty confident about that." "I hope you never have to understand where I'm coming from. I really do. I've watched what happen nearly destroy Ike, what they did took a part of him that nobody has the right to destroy. Its taken a long time for the both of us to realize that we aren't responsible. We didn't make a choice and say I think I'll take a walk through hell today," Beth shrugged. "Life or death. Death wasn't a choice." Nodding Rachel looked up at the shout from the boys, "Looks like a rider's coming." "Maybe its Ike," Beth suggested hopefully a smile gracing her face. The first, honest, naked smile Rachel had seen in a long time on the girl's face. "Maybe," Rachel replied softly as she watched the incoming rider. She whistled in amazement as she realized it was indeed Ike, ahead of schedule and pushing a horse that looked tired. Whatever demons they shared, they'd learned to find solace in the other's company. "Ike!" rising quickly, eagerly Beth was off the porch and hurrying across the yard before Ike had even pulled up in front of the barn. Laughing softly when he dismounted easily, turning quickly to greet her she paused before wrapping him in a big hug. Clinging to him, Beth sighed as the fear that had plagued her since he'd ridden out faded, pushed back until it was a dark memory that she didn't have to think of. *Miss me?* "You have no idea," Beth whispered leaning on him easily. "Jumpier than a scared cat." *Well I'm home for now. It'll be okay,* Ike promised as he watched the shadows race across her face. *You stay at the house?* "No," Beth shrugged sheepishly. "Took your advice. I think Buck's avoiding me since I crawled in with him." *He's a good man. I knew you could trust him,* Ike replied quickly. *How's Harmon?* "Sleeping like any newborn. Doc said he'll spend most of the time sleeping for a few days before he starts being more active. Did a lot of work," Beth replied quickly. Ike nodded and turned to his horse, unsaddling he glanced at her then shrugged. *No word from you kin?* Beth shrugged carelessly, "Don't really care either. Got what I need right here." *Good. I'll put the horse up then come see Harmon.* "Okay," Beth said and headed back for the house, ignoring the looks she got from the others. Ike was her husband if she wanted to hug him she could. Rachel shook her head at the display, obviously there was a level of trust there she hadn't seen before. More importantly there was a lot of love between them, neither was thinking of themself, something that made life interesting and liveable. Epilogue Standing in the warm spring sunlight Beth stared out over the tall, lush fields of green and sighed. It had been a year since they'd made it back to Rock Creek. A year of turmoil and agony, nightmares and fear but they'd survived. Harmon was a happy, healthy little boy who played constantly. The impending war had taken a rather large chuck out of the express family, Kid, Jimmy, Cody, and Teaspoon had all gone off to fight. And while they weren't fighting side by side this time, she knew they'd not be easily swayed from their love of family. *You look pensive,* Ike's strong arms wrapping around her drew a smile even as a shaky hand reached up to brush a tear aside. "Just thinking of family," Beth whispered softly, achingly. "How blessed we are to have one." *We both know I couldn't join in,* Ike signed slowly, painfully. *I couldn't leave you and Harmon not after fighting to keep you safe and alive. Just couldn't do it.* "I know," Beth turned to face her husband, "You surrendered a lot to keep us safe. You gave up a part of yourself that no man should ever have to relinquish and it's just one more reason for me to love you. You protected me from a lot." *Couldn't protect you from me though,* Ike replied seriously. Beth laughed softly and shook her head, "That was one thing you never had to worry about. Truth be told Ike, I'm glad that it was you. I watched Momma die a slow agonizing death because of those men. You protected me from that and there are no words to say how appreciative I am to you?" *We should put up a marker or something for your folks. Granted it ain't Kansas but still,* Ike paused. *They deserve something to remember them by.* Beth nodded and sighed as she looked at the sleepy town behind them, "Do you think they've figured it out?" Ike shrugged and glanced behind him. Did he care if they knew? Not anymore. Not that he would tell but if they figured it out on their own then who was he to care? Life was too short for that sort of thing, *Doesn't matter if they have. We've got a lot of blessings, had to pay the price for them somehow.* Beth nodded and smiled, the past year they'd learned to enjoy their marital duties with each other, in fact they often spent more time wrapped together than with Lou, Rachel, or Noah and Buck. They'd found their faith in each other along with the will to survive, and neither of them were anxious to give that up. Not for anything or anyone. "You're right. It doesn't matter now," Beth smiled at her husband as he took her hand and started back for the main house where they lived with Louise and Rachel. Ghosts was all that was left of what had happened, and they were easily kept at bay! Email Destardi HOME