Jimmy held her, breathing her name into her hair, and realized she was clinging to him as well, her heart racing against his chest. Time slowed to a standstill as he knelt with her in his arms. After the moments flowed into minutes, he reluctantly put her away from him.

He went over to Hopkins' body and stood over it, morosely, then bent to grasp the corpse by the legs and drag it toward his horse. He heaved the body up onto Sundancer and secured him, finally looking back over his shoulder. To his surprise, Lou was still sitting on the ground where he'd left her, motionless.

Jimmy walked over and set a hand on Lou's shoulder, and was startled when she jumped at his touch.

She turned a pale, frightened face up to his, and he knelt next to her. "Lou, what is it? Are you hurt?"

"I want to get my real clothes on," she said in a small, childlike voice.

"Well, after I drop him off at the undertaker's, we'll go back to the hotel and get your stuff," he said.

"Drop me off first, please?" she whispered desperately. "Please?"

He nodded, confused, and led her to Hopkins' horse, helping her up. He swung onto Sundancer and they headed back into town.

It took a while to straighten matters out with the sheriff and undertaker, and Jimmy hurried up the stairs of the hotel nearly two hours after Lou. Opening the door, he drew back; she had just gotten from the tub and was standing wrapped in a towel, her face frightened.

"I'm sorry, Lou, I didn't expect -" he stopped, looking at her exposed flesh, covered with ugly bruises. She saw where he was looking and tried to cover the bruises by pulling the towel higher.

"Did he hurt you, Lou?" Jimmy asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

She sighed. "Shut the door, Jimmy, okay? I'm catching a draft."

He sat on the bed as she pulled a screen across the corner of the room. The late morning light from the window lit up the screen and her silhouette was outlined on the screen as she dropped her towel, and he looked away awkwardly. After a few moments, she stepped out from behind the screen, "Lou" again.

Lou hadn't answered his question and was buttoning up the cuffs of her shirt silently.

"Lou, I asked you, did Hopkins touch you? Do you need a doctor?"

She sat down on the bed tiredly, pulling on her boots. "Let's get what we come here for and get out on the trail," she said abruptly. Seeing Jimmy looking worried at her, she shook her head. "He tried," she whispered. "All right? He tried . . ." she looked away, then dropped her head on her hands. Jimmy slowly came over to the bed and sat next to her.

"Lou, I'm so sorry for this," he said, agonized, as he saw her small shoulders shaking and tears rolling from between her fingers.

"I was so scared," she interrupted. "He thought I was your girl. He said he'd take me, and even if you lived through today, you'd have to live with that. But at the last minute, he . . . he couldn't . . . you know." She looked down. "He got so angry, started beatin' on me. But that was better than getting raped," she choked, her eyes squeezed shut, her self-control evaporating. "I can take any kinda beating a man dishes out, but I couldn't live through that again."

A chill went through him. "Again?"

She turned and hurled herself on the bed, face down. Jimmy didn't know what to do, other than stroke her arm gingerly until her weeping slowed a bit. "Lou, do you need to talk about this? I'll listen," he encouraged.

She rolled over on her back. He looked down at her tearstained face and read the truth on it even before she started talking about the day her childhood ended, the same day she stopped being a girl to the world. Her words rushed from her like a torrent, like a flood she'd held back for four years. He bit his lip, his face twisted with sympathy, until the agonizing confession ended.

"So that's why . . ." he said, softly.

"So that's why I can't do this again," she said dully, gesturing toward the dress tossed over the chair. "I forgot for a bit, that's all. I wanted to try to feel like a woman again, for a little while." She tiredly looked out toward the open window. "But I feel safest when I'm a boy. Kid could never understand that."

Kid again, Jimmy thought bitterly for a moment. He got what he wanted, then threw her away, and she still keeps thinking about what he didn't understand. Kid didn't understand nothin' about you, Lou. He saw her downcast look and managed to shake off the resentment. "Even when you told him this? He didn't understand even after that?" Jimmy asked softly, holding her hand.

She smiled a twisted, humorless smirk, and then looked up at him, tears starting in her eyes again. "He doesn't know," she admitted. "I haven't spoken of this to anybody since it happened. Until you," she said, her eyes softening.

His heart swelled a little, knowing she'd confided her deepest secret to him and him alone. She sat up and leaned toward him, her face inches from his. "Please promise me, you won't tell anyone else about this, Jimmy? I don't mind you knowin', somehow," she struggled. "But I can't bear the thought of anybody else knowing. Other folks would either think less of me or pity me, and I don't want that."

She put her hand on the side of his face and turned him toward her. "Please, promise, Jimmy? Let's keep this just between us?"

Her touch, the soft clean smell of her, her nearness, was an almost painful temptation. He'd never wanted anything so much as he wanted her right then, as he wanted to pull her close and comfort her, kiss her trembling lips, kiss away those tears. The pull he'd started feeling toward her the night before, and even more when he held her close after killing Hopkins, was so overwhelming he never knew then or afterwards how he found the strength to resist it.

Not now, he cautioned himself, even as he had when he danced with her in the street; she's hurting too much, she just needs me as a friend now. He nodded, not trusting his voice. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the cheek. "Thank you, Jimmy. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I'm so grateful," she whispered. Every word cut into his pounding heart a little more, and he rested his head against his best friend's comfortingly.

Lou swung off of Lightning's back stiffly, and Jimmy anxiously asked, "Do you want me to bed her down for you?"

"I don't mind," she said, reluctant to join the others somehow. They'd had a wonderful ride home, and whatever walls or defenses she'd had with Jimmy were now gone. She'd worried that telling him the truth about Wicks would make her feel awkward around him, but to the contrary, she felt closer to him than ever.

As they put away their grooming tools, Jimmy looked over at her hesitant face. "Worried about goin' back to the bunkhouse?" he asked sympathetically.

"Well, it's the first time I'll be seeing Kid and the others since Kid found himself a new girlfriend," she said, crossing her arms across her chest. "I need to look like I don't give a dang," she said, trying to arrange her face in the appropriate nonchalant attitude.

He smiled at her contorted face. "I think you'll do just fine, Lou. If anybody should feel bad, it's that idiot," Jimmy growled a little. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him for a moment. "I've got your back, you know," he murmured.

"I know, Jimmy," she chuckled. "If a pair of Colts could cure embarrassment, then I wouldn't be worried at all." She didn't move away from his embrace, and stood fumbling with the buttons on his jacket.

Lou was startled to find herself, for what seemed like the hundredth time on this trip, drawn almost irresistibly to her friend; but for the hundredth time she swallowed hard and resisted. He just thinks of you as a friend. Feels sorry for you. Everyone is laughing enough at you after Kid moved on about five minutes after you went to bed with him; last thing you need is to throw yourself at Jimmy when he just is trying to be a friend to you.

"Come on, let's get it over with," he encouraged her, and she smiled and nodded, thinking how lucky she was to have a friend like Jimmy in her corner. They separated reluctantly and headed back to the bunkhouse.

THE END . . .

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