Author's Note: This story is a sequel to 'All That I Can Do'.
Teaspoon, Rachel, and the other riders looked up in alarm as they saw Kid ride in on Katy wearily, with something rolled up in a blanket and tied on the back of the horse. Kid's clothes were streaked with blood and his face looked ten years older than when he had ridden out the afternoon before.
Rachel ran out as Kid dismounted and turned slowly to untie the bundle from Katy. The others filed behind her, solemnly. "Kid… please … say it isn't…" Rachel choked, even as Kid's face told her the truth.
"I wish I could, Rachel," Kid said, his voice hoarse. "Buck and Jimmy kept on with their delivery, but I wanted to bring her back here. I'll need the wagon to take her in to the undertaker."
Teaspoon cleared his throat, and started to speak. "Son, maybe one of us can take her on in, you look like you could use some rest." Kid continued untying the bundle and pulling it down from the horse. As he did so, the blanket moved down and revealed Lou's motionless face and scalped head. Rachel went white, her hands flying to her mouth, and turned away from the sight. Cody grimaced sadly and approached Kid. "I know it don't help much, Kid, but I … I'm sorry. I know how much she meant to you. We'll all miss her."
Kid nodded briefly, and covered her head again with the blanket. "Can one of you get the wagon? I'd like to get her taken care of sooner rather than later."
He spoke in a flat, toneless voice. His face, with his eyes ringed in dark circles, was without expression. "Kid, you're in shock. Stay here and let someone else take care of this. It won't do any good if you make yourself sick - - " Teaspoon started.
Kid blankly nodded and laid Lou in the wagon. "It's time to take her there, now," he said hollowly, clearly not having heard or understood Teaspoon. He went around to the buckboard, and Teaspoon nodded to Rachel. She ran around and sprung up beside Kid, just before the wagon moved forward and off toward town.
Teaspoon and the remaining riders stood staring after the wagon as it pulled toward town, their thoughts dwelling sadly on the girl rider who would never ride again, being carried to her final rest.
Rachel was alarmed when Kid refused to speak, even to answer her, on the ride to the undertaker's. He sat staring ahead woodenly, as if in a dream state. When they reached the undertaker's, Kid got down from the wagon without a word and, gently carrying the body, went up the steps.
"You're the next of kin?" Mr. Mosby intoned. Kid nodded silently.
"My condolences," Mosby said unctuously. "Bring her back to my work area."
Kid took her and laid her tenderly on the table where indicated.
"I presume she'll be buried at the town cemetery, shall we say tomorrow?"
Kid spoke for the first time since leaving the station. "No, I need a few days to bring her brother and sister here for the funeral."
Mosby nodded, and after the arrangements were settled, Kid slowly went back to the little room and stood beside Lou's body. Pulling the blanket back, he reached out and stroked her face. "I have to go away for a little while. I'm going to get your brother and sister, for the funeral. And then after that to take them home for you. I love you," he whispered, replacing the blanket and sadly walking away.
As they arrived back at the way station, Kid wearily climbed down, and Ike offered to unhitch the wagon for him. Kid nodded distractedly, and wandered off toward the bunkhouse. Entering, his eyes lit on Lou's locked trunk. The other riders watched as he pulled the trunk over to his bunk, retrieved a key from under Lou's mattress, and sat down facing the bunk silently. Teaspoon cleared his throat. "Kid, that can wait, can't it?"
Kid didn't answer, unlocking the trunk and pulling up the lid. He rummaged through the few contents, not sure what he was looking for. But after a moment, he withdrew a leather-bound journal and sat staring at it.
Finally, he opened the book and glanced over the first page.
April 15, 1855
Dear Diary,
Sister Amelia gave me this diary today for my 12th birthday, and said I should try to write a little bit in it every day. Well, I guess I should write about what's happened in my life up to now. My mother died a year ago and I had to go to St. Joseph's Orphanage outside St. Joseph, Missouri with my little brother Jeremiah and my little sister Theresa. Before Mama died, she made me promise her that I would keep them away from our father and keep them together. I have a plan to leave here, get a job, and start saving money so we can have our own home together. I don't care how hard I have to work, someday I will keep my promise to my mother, and my brother and sister will have a real home, someday.
Kid sighed. Even then, that was already so important to her. I'm working on it, Lou. Got a lot to figure out, but I'll make it happen for you, somehow, he thought, determined.
"Teaspoon, I'll be needin' some time off to go get Lou's brother and sister for the funeral … and to figure out how I'm going to have them come stay with me after."
Teaspoon and the others looked at him, uncomprehending. "What do you mean, stay with you, Kid?" Teaspoon finally asked.
"I'm named as guardian of her brother and sister in her will. I'm going to be adopting them."
The group in the bunkhouse sat dumbstruck at Kid's announcement.
Rachel stared open mouthed at Kid. "You're not serious."
Kid didn't turn his head to look at Rachel. "Yes, I am, Rachel. Lou left me in charge of the children and their money in her will, and I won't let her down."
She shook her head in disbelief. "Kid, I'm sure she didn't expect you to raise the children, just keep an eye out for them and keep their money for them."
"Maybe so, but I'm bound and determined to do this for her."
"Honey, it is more than anyone should have to do. You're eighteen years old, and how are you going to take care of two children who aren't all that much younger than you?" Rachel tried to reason with Kid. "Just make sure they are being taken care of, and when they are ready to leave the orphanage give them the money Lou saved for them."
Kid's face was set stubbornly. "That isn't good enough, Rachel."
Teaspoon sighed. "Kid, I know you're just starting to grieve for Lou, and maybe this is something you've set yourself to do because of that. But maybe you need to take a step back and be sure this is what you want to do. Once you go and take those children outta that orphanage, they're your responsibility, and you can't lightly change your mind later if it's harder than you think it'll be."
"They're already my responsibility, and I know it'll be hard. That doesn't matter," Kid retorted. "I'll find a way, Teaspoon."
Noah came in the door as Kid finished speaking. "Was at the Post Office pickin' up the regular mail … there's a letter from the orphanage in St. Joe for Lou, Kid. Maybe you oughta open it."
Kid quickly opened the letter and scanned it.
Dear Louise,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to tell you what I believe is good news. A family has expressed interest in adopting Jeremiah. Unfortunately, they are not willing to adopt Theresa as well. I am writing to let you know that unless you can make arrangements to take Jeremiah within the month, I will agree to let the Quinns adopt Jeremiah. I know you had hoped to keep your brother and sister together, and to come back to take them with you as soon as you were able, but it is simply too difficult to find homes for these children to allow an opportunity such as this to pass by. I will look forward to your response.
In Mary's Name,
Sister Mary Amelia
Kid looked up desperately. "It says here a family wants to adopt Jeremiah. I can't let that happen… I can't let them be separated. That's just what Lou was most afraid of."
"But Kid, it says here, unless you can take Jeremiah within a month, Sister Mary Amelia will let him go," Teaspoon said, looking at the letter.
Kid nodded, thinking. "I … I had thought I might try to buy Widow Dawkins' farm … she's had it up for sale for a few months now. But …" he stopped awkwardly. "But I only have enough most likely for a down payment … and then I wouldn't have anything for the three of us to live on," he finished. "I guess I'll have to just find a job in town, but I don't know if I could run the farm alone if I have to work somewhere else too," he finished uncertainly.
Teaspoon sat looking at Kid intently. "Kid, if you're certain of this, maybe I can help you out," he said slowly.
"Teaspoon?" Rachel protested, but the older man continued.
"You can have my job here as station master, if you want it. I got enough to keep me busy as Marshal. I don't really need two jobs … and you could probably do the job workin' part time if you had a mind to. You could use your salary to pay down the mortgage on the Dawkins place until harvest time," Teaspoon suggested.
Kid's eyes lit up. "Teaspoon, if you're sure you don't mind, that'd probably work out fine … I couldn't keep working as a rider if I had the children to take care of anyway."
"Teaspoon, why are you encouraging this? Kid lost Lou just yesterday. He's in no shape to make any major decisions tonight, and he needs to take some time to grieve and decide what's best for his future, for the children's future. Maybe Jeremiah is better off bein' adopted by a family where he'll have two adult parents, you ever think of that?" Rachel said, desperately. She was sick with grief over losing her friend, and beside herself with worry over Kid. The tears started in her big blue eyes as she pleaded with Kid.
Kid looked Rachel in the eyes. "Rachel, I know I'm young. I know that. If Jeremiah and Theresa were bein' adopted by a family together, I might agree with you they'd be better off, so long as I was sure they were good folks adopting 'em. But they can't be separated, Rachel, I can't believe that's best. And I am sure that I want to do this, and I won't change my mind in a few months." Rachel stared back into Kid's face. She slowly realized that the last twenty-four hours of terrible grief had aged the young man, matured him well beyond his years … and she found herself believing that he might be able to do this.
Sighing, Rachel slowly offered, "If you're that set on it, Kid … then you can have the children stay over at my place until it's all arranged. You'll want to go see Widow Dawkins tonight, and probably leave for the children in the morning if they're going to be here in time for the funeral."
Kid nodded, and wearily grabbed a clean change of clothes, heading out to clean up before going to see the Widow Dawkins. The others looked at each other. "Do you think he's lost his mind?" Cody asked, not joking.
"I don't know, Cody. He loved her an awful lot. But I hope he's not making a big mistake taking this on out of grief," Rachel sighed.
After washing up and changing, Kid came back to the bunkhouse, dropping his blood-soaked clothes on his bunk. Noah and Ike stood by silently as Kid wearily pulled on a clean jacket.
"Kid, I guess I don't have to tell you how sorry I am. We all thought of Lou as a sister, you know that," Noah said quietly.
"Thanks, Noah," Kid mumbled. "I know."
"You think maybe … maybe it would be a good idea to get a good night's sleep before you go off buyin' a farm and adopting her brother and sister, though? What's the rush, Kid?" Noah said kindly. "One night won't make any difference, except maybe to make sure you ain't jumping into something."
Ike signed his agreement. *We all are going to miss Lou, she was special to all of us. But you have to think this through, take a day or two at least, Kid.*
Kid pulled his boots back on. "I know you two mean well. I probably would be saying the same if I saw a friend doin' this. But I know this is something I have to do. I want to. My heart got broke when we parted ways, but…" he sighed, searching for the right words. "I never stopped loving her. Hell, I tried to stop hard enough. But hard as it was givin' her up, at least I could still see her every day. Now, I'll never … never see her again. There's no chance to make it right anymore. But I can do this much for her."
"But Kid, as your friend and hers, I think you really need to just take a little time, think this through. Don't go off half-cocked and make a mistake involving two innocent children," Noah persisted.
"There isn't time, Noah, Jeremiah's getting adopted if I don't get there in time. I hear what you're saying, and I can't even explain why I need to do this. I just know … if I do this, then I didn't know her and love her for nothing."
Noah put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "No matter what happens, Kid, you didn't love her for nothing. Loving her was something important in itself. Don't do this out of guilt and regret over how things were left between you when she died."
Kid looked Noah straight in the eye. "Noah, I'm telling you I have to do this. Can I count on you to help me out, as a friend, if I take this on? And you, Ike?" he asked, turning to his silent friend.
The two looked at Kid, then each other. "Kid, of course we're your friends, no matter what you decide. But we're worried about you," Noah said, concern etched on his face. Kid considered Noah's words; he recalled that Noah had advised him not to rush into something with Samantha too quickly after breaking up with Lou. Noah had always sensed that Kid had not gotten over Lou and was using the new romance with Samantha to try to bury his hurt. Now, it seemed Noah was worried that running out to adopt these children was another form of the same thing - - a desperate attempt to distract himself from his pain.
Kid smiled, a grim, mirthless smile. "There's nothing to worry about with me anymore, Noah. The worst thing that could ever happen to me . . .the one thing I dreaded more than anything else . . . it already's happened, " he said as he slowly walked out of the bunkhouse.
After making arrangements to buy Mrs. Dawkins' farm, Kid headed out toward St. Joe the very same day, stopping at sunset to make camp. The next morning, the breaking dawn woke Kid from a tormented sleep. He'd been haunted by endless nightmares of Lou's torture and death most of the night, and he wearily sat up, disoriented. He thought about what he was about to do, wondering if Rachel and Noah were right. His thoughts swirled around and around randomly in his sad exhaustion. Maybe this is just my grief driving me to make a terrible mistake. I loved Lou with all my heart, and would gladly have helped her take care of her brother and sister if she had lived. But . . . but she's gone now. Am I just doing this to prove something? To prove what, that I loved someone who's gone now? Maybe I should just make sure the Quinns are decent folks and just let them adopt Jeremiah. I could check in on Theresa from time to time like Lou did, and make sure she's okay. Surely that'll be enough, especially since Lou and I parted ways before she died. She would never expect this of me, so why am I he demanding it of myself? She wouldn't even listen to me and find a safer job, and I'm going to take on her responsibilities now that what I always said could happen, has gone and happened? And for someone who . . . who didn't even really love me like I loved her?
As he pulled on his jacket tiredly, he felt the diary he had taken from Lou's trunk in the pocket. Something made him open it, and flip to the last few pages. There was little written in it for the past few weeks, in fact just one entry since they had gone their separate ways, written the very day she had died.
Dear Diary,
I haven't had the urge to write much in here since something terrible happened a while ago. Kid and I went our separate ways. Truth is, he'd been unhappy with me for a while. He couldn't understand why I needed to do my job, and the worry was making him almost crazy. That and he was guilty and ashamed of what we were doing. That hurt so much, because to me it was nothing to be ashamed of if we loved each other. He asked me again to marry him, but I knew it was just out of guilt and shame and worry, not any of the right reasons to be married. He brought marriage up a few times before, but only when he was guilty or upset with me. He didn't even have any plan for how we would live after we left the express. I couldn't say yes, but I love him too much to keep on like we had been. He was too unhappy that way, so when he said we had to go back to being just friends if we couldn't be married, I let him go. I saw what rushing into sleeping together had done to us. I didn't think rushing into marriage for the wrong reasons would help anything. And anyway, I'm not free to get married, I have to keep working until I can make a home for my brother and sister like I promised I would. I'm close to having enough saved, but I can't ask Kid to wait for me to do what I have to do. I can't keep things just the same as they were, much as I want to. I'm such a fool, though, because part of me didn't really think he meant it when he said it had to be over. But then I heard him talk about us, about the new schoolteacher who'd caught his eye. I know now it really is over for him. Even if it didn't work out with the schoolteacher, someone else will come along and I'll have to stand by and watch him fall for her. I know this and still I can't bring myself to put in for a transfer to another station to get away. If I did, then I wouldn't be able to at least see him every day, like I can now. I know it didn't work out for us, but I still love him and always will. If only he still felt the same and could wait for me - but never mind 'if only'. He's better off with someone else, someone who's good enough for him. I never was anyway.
Kid sat numbly. She had never stopped loving him, and he had thrown her love away because . . . because why? All the reasons seemed stupid now that she was gone and none of it could be fixed or taken back again. He sighed, shaking his head over the final entry in her diary. But after a moment, he shut it and, with new resolve, set off toward the orphanage to do what he could for her now.
Sister Mary Amelia sat looking dumbfounded at the earnest young man who sat on the other side of her desk.
"Kid, I know you and Louise were," she cleared her throat delicately, "close. But you are only eighteen years old, unmarried, and not related to the children. I can't in good conscience release the children to you, no matter what Louise's last wishes might have been."
Kid pointed out, "Ma'am, I understand what you're saying. But if I have to hire a lawyer to enforce Lou's will, I'll do that. And I'm offering both of them a home together, that's got to be worth something. These Quinn folks can adopt another boy and you'll have found homes for three children in one day."
"The Quinns had taken a shine to Jeremiah in particular, Kid."
Kid set his chin stubbornly. "If Jeremiah wants to go with the Quinns, and they seem like nice folks after I meet them, I won't stand in his way, ma'am. But otherwise I want to take them both home with me."
Sister Mary Amelia sighed. "The Quinns are coming for a visit this morning. You can meet them then. I imagine it would be better for the children to hear of their sister's death from you than from me. Why don't you go and see them and then meet the Quinns?"
Kid nodded as Sister Mary Amelia stood to lead him down the hallway to the classrooms.
A few minutes later, Kid and Jeremiah and Theresa were seated in a small private room. "Kid, what's going on? Why did Sister Mary Amelia take us out of class? And where's Louise?" Jeremiah said, worried.
Kid looked sadly at the two children. They had just gotten to know their sister again after years of separation. Lou had visited frequently whenever she had a ride in to St. Joe, and whenever she got any stretch of time off. He'd come along to visit a few times up until they had broken up, and now here he was with the job of telling them she had died trying to make a living for the three of them.
He sighed. There was no way to ease into it that he could think of. "Louise got hurt really bad on a run. She . . . she died."
Theresa burst into tears and sat sobbing, as Kid awkwardly sat by watching. Jeremiah put his arm around his sister, his own eyes wet with tears. Kid swore to himself that he wouldn't allow these two children to be torn away from each other. He would either convince the Quinns to take both children or neither of them.
"Jeremiah, Sister Mary Amelia says that a family is looking to adopt you."
Theresa sobbed even harder, clinging to her big brother.
"Is that what you want?" Kid asked, slowly.
Jeremiah looked at Kid despondently. "No, but with Louise gone there's no other choice. If Sister Mary Amelia says I have to go, I have to."
"Would you feel better about it if they agreed to take Theresa too?"
Jeremiah grimaced. "Well, a little in some ways. But not in others. I don't like the Quinns, so I'm not sure I'd want Theresa going to live there. Especially since I know they don't want a girl."
Kid spoke even slower now. "Jeremiah, Theresa, I came here partly to tell you about your sister and take you back to go to the funeral. But there's something else. Louise left instructions that if she died, I would be in charge of you two for her. So if I take you with me now, you won't have to go with the Quinns. Would you both be willing to come with me?"
Jeremiah looked puzzled. "But Louise said in her last letter that you two weren't courting anymore. Why would you do that for her now?"
"Because I never stopped loving her, Jeremiah, and I want to do what she would have wanted for you two."
"Sounds a little crazy to me," Jeremiah muttered. "You might change your mind in a few months, and then where will we be?"
"That's a fair question, Jeremiah. I can only tell you that I'm not offering this lightly. If you want a home with me, you're both welcome to come with me, and I'll look after you best I can until you're grown up. What do you say?"
Jeremiah was about to answer, when a man's voice came from the doorway.
"There must be a mistake, young fella. We've already all but arranged to have Jeremiah come to live with us."
Kid turned and saw a burly man in his forties and a sheepish, stringy-haired woman standing beside him in the doorway.
"I'm Ronald Quinn," the man said gruffly.
Kid noticed that he didn't introduce the haggard looking woman who was no doubt his wife. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Quinn. Ma'am," he added, nodding toward the wife politely. She gave him a frightened, timid look and then returned her gaze to the floor.
"Sister Mary Amelia told me I could take Jeremiah as soon as his next of kin sent word," Quinn said. "I need the boy now, harvest time's a-comin' and there's a lot of work that needs doing."
Kid, already knowing the answer, asked, "What about Theresa? Wouldn't you consider keeping the children together? They've never been separated."
Kid saw Mrs. Quinn's face light up at the mention of taking Theresa. But Mr. Quinn shook his head firmly. "Got no use for a girl. Any child we take has to pull his weight around our place. The last one we got up and runned off, and we need a new one. No, it'll just be the boy."
Kid eyed Mr. Quinn grimly. "I'm Jeremiah's next of kin, Mr. Quinn. If I take him in, then you'll need to get another boy to work your farm."
Jeremiah's eyes lit up in the corner, as he looked apprehensively between Kid and Mr. Quinn.
Kid looked back at Jeremiah and Theresa. "But it's your decision," he said gently. "If you decide you want to come with me, I'll do my best by you. But it's up to you two."
The two children looked at each other, and Theresa nodded eagerly at her brother. Jeremiah turned and answered Kid. "Thanks Kid, we'll go with you if you're serious about this."
"I am," Kid said quietly. "So that's your answer, Mr. Quinn."
Mr. Quinn shrugged. "There were some other likely lookin' boys in the lot. I reckon one will do as well as another," he said, turning toward the door.
Lou's funeral was a few days after Kid returned with the children. Emma and Sam had come to pay their final respects. Emma alone seemed to understand completely why Kid insisted on taking in the children, and encouraged Kid to write with any questions he might have. Kid had persuaded Widow Dawkins to permit him to bury Lou on the farm, instead of the town cemetery. He cleared and fenced a plot in the woods, planting birch seedlings around it, for Lou's final resting place. Her friends and family stood silently as she was lowered into the ground; Kid found himself clutching little Theresa's hand as they watched. He looked down and was struck by her sad, frightened eyes, so much like her sister's. He swore to himself he would make things different somehow for Lou's sister … as if that would make up for Lou's love-starved, deprived childhood in at least some small way.
The details of Lou's funeral, the closing on the new farm, housecleaning, starting work on the farm and as station manager, made the next days a merciful blur for Kid. He was relieved to find that indeed, the station managing job could easily be handled in a couple of hours a day, leaving plenty of time to tend the already planted crops and care for the stock he had bought along with the farm. He welcomed the work, feverishly keeping busy to avoid thoughts of his lost lover; he was grateful for the exhaustion that brought him some sleep at night and temporary relief from his overwhelming sorrow. Yet every morning, the realization that she was dead washed over him as if for the first time, breaking his heart over and over.
Kid thought it was time to move the children from Rachel's house to the new place, and took them and all their and Lou's small belongings by wagon the short distance. Well, this is the place," Kid said awkwardly, gesturing toward the house. "Want to go on in and see your new rooms?"
Jeremiah nodded eagerly and jumped down. Theresa hesitated, looking at Kid. Kid climbed down and turned to lift the little girl from the rig. She still stood twisting her hands together, looking uncertainly at the house after her brother's retreating form. "Go ahead, Theresa. Yours is at the top of the stairs, on the right. Jeremiah's is on the left." Kid reached into the wagon and pulled out the children's bags, walking after them.
Kid peeked his head into Jeremiah's room. "Everything okay in here?" Kid asked, dropping Jeremiah's only bag on the bed.
"I can't believe I have my own room," Jeremiah gloated. "I've been sharing a room with twenty other boys as long as I can remember." Kid stood watching as Jeremiah turned to his small bag and started putting away his clothes. "Well, if you're okay I'll bring this in to your sister," Kid said, smiling.
"Kid?" Jeremiah said quietly. As Kid turned, Jeremiah continued, "Thanks for bringing us here. I wouldn't've wanted to live with the Quinns, especially away from Theresa."
"You're welcome, Jeremiah," Kid said, nodding back.
Kid tapped on the door to Theresa's room.
"Come in," she called. Kid opened the door a crack. "Where would you like me to put your bag?" he asked. He saw that there were traces of tears on her cheeks; he asked worriedly, "You okay, Theresa?"
She looked out the window. "I know I only got to know Louise really over the last year, when she would come to visit and write me. But I miss her," she said sadly. She looked down at her hands. "And everything is all changed now. "
Kid placed her bag on a chair, and stood by her. "I know what you mean, Theresa. I miss her too," he said, his voice a little unsteady. He cleared his throat, then continued. "And this is all new to me too. But hopefully we'll figure it out together, okay?" She looked up and nodded.
"Do you need any help putting away your things?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No, the sisters taught us how to take care of those things ourselves. I'll do it," she said quietly, moving toward the bag.
Kid headed toward the door. "I haven't had a chance to hire a woman to help with the housework or the cookin' yet. I'll try to rustle something up for us, okay?"
She looked up from the bag, shyly. "I'll help out, Kid. I learned some about cooking at the orphanage too. I'll be down directly after I put these things away," she said, a little primly.
"That'll be fine, then," Kid said. I have no idea how to talk to her, he realized desperately.
A few minutes later, Jeremiah thundered down the stairs and shouted to Kid that he would chop some wood for the cookstove. Kid yelled back his thanks as he pored over the instructions Rachel had written out, and stared dubiously at the groceries she had left. As he turned toward the stove, he was startled by little Theresa standing immediately behind him.
"Theresa!" he exclaimed. "I, I didn't hear you come down," he finished, as he looked down at the timid little girl.
She shyly looked around him at the recipe on the table. "Making stew?" she ventured. "I can help peel the vegetables. We should put the water on to boil though."
Kid consulted the recipe. "I think you're right," he concurred. Jeremiah came in with an armful of wood for the stove, and he and Kid started a fire in it, while Theresa pulled up a stool to the kitchen table and started on the potatoes.
The three sat companionably around the table peeling different vegetables and cutting up the meat into cubes as Rachel's recipe indicated. Finally, the stew was safely in the pot bubbling away.
Theresa carefully washed the table and ran to the closet for a broom. "I'll sweep up, some got on the floor," she said, her small face worried. Kid stood up. "I guess I can leave that on the stove a while … I'd better get to the barn and see to the stock for a bit. Maybe you'd like to go out and play for a while before dinner?"
Jeremiah's eyes sparkled and he nodded before running out the door at full tilt. He could be seen running toward the center of town, probably hoping to meet a few of the town children. Kid turned back toward Theresa. "How about you, Theresa? Don't you want to go play?"
She looked toward the door a moment, then shook her head gravely. "There's a lot to do around here, Kid. I'd rather stay here and get started," she said importantly.
"Okay," Kid said uncertainly. "I guess there's time enough to meet your schoolmates tomorrow when I take you to the school. "
"Mmm hmm," Theresa said absently, as she pulled a bucket from the closet and placed it in the sink to fill, while Kid turned toward the door to head out to the barn.
After dinner, Theresa insisted on doing all the dishes, shooing Kid and her brother from the kitchen. When Kid put his head in the door after returning from the evening chores in the barn, he was concerned that she was now scrubbing floors in the hallway.
"Theresa, shouldn't you be getting ready for bed?" he asked, glancing at the clock. "It's getting toward eight-thirty and you have school tomorrow." She looked up alarmed.
"I'm sorry, Kid. This took longer than I thought. I'll just finish it up and then head on up, okay?"
Kid looked uncomfortable. "Theresa, that's more than enough for one day. You'll have a big day tomorrow, why don't you go on and leave it?"
Theresa looked stricken, then stood up, fighting tears. "All right," she said somberly. She slunk off, head hanging, toward the stairs.
A few minutes later, Kid was climbing the stairs and heard Jeremiah and Theresa talking in her room.
"What's there to be nervous about? They're just kids, like the ones back at the orphanage. You'll be fine," Jeremiah was saying.
Kid paused a moment and listened, worried.
"I don't know if any of the girls will want to be friends with an orphan. It's different for boys, as long as you can play ball they don't care about that kind of thing."
Jeremiah answered, "Aw Theresa, just be yourself, you'll have lots of friends. You should be glad we're out of that orphanage and have someplace to stay like this. It was really nice of Kid to do it."
"He is just doing it for Lou," Theresa answered. "He doesn't really want us here."
Kid started at that, but kept listening.
"Well, so what? It's still a good home. We aren't crammed in with a hundred other kids, and we won't be worked half to death," Jeremiah pointed out.
"You'd do well to try your best to do as much as you can for Kid, Jeremiah. I plan to. I don't want him to regret takin' us in, and if I work as hard as I can maybe he won't," she said.
Jeremiah clucked his tongue. "Is that why you about killed yourself down there tonight? Kid said we'd have some chores to do, but I guess he will tell us what he expects. I think you're foolish if you kill yourself workin'. "
"I don't care. I owe it to Kid for taking us in, when I know he didn't want to. He just made a promise to Louise and he's keeping it. There's no other reason he'd do this."
Kid looked down and then proceeded silently down the hallway. As he reached his room, he picked up Lou's diary, sitting down on the bed beside a lamp. He sat with the book unopened in front of him.
He thought about Theresa's words. It was true, if he hadn't fallen in love with Lou, he wouldn't have adopted Theresa and Jeremiah. But he didn' t want the little girl feeling guilty about that or working so hard. He'd have to make her understand this was something he wanted to do, and that this was her home now, no strings attached. He sighed and opened Lou's diary to where he left off. It was as if he was hearing her voice anew every time he read it, and he hoped to prolong the feeling as long as possible by forcing himself to read only a few pages at a time.
September 15, 1856
I know I haven't written in here in a long time. A lot's happened since I did. I left Wicks' house. Charlotte helped me get out of there and to a doctor after what happened. She got me a ticket on the stage to St. Louis. Soon as I got here, I cut my hair off. Wicks said he loved my hair. I suppose it was the only beautiful thing about me. Now that it's gone, I won't have to worry about anybody else noticing me like he did. I never want another man to look at me or touch me like that again.
Kid stopped and re-read the words. The page was tearstained; and though she hadn't written the words, he recognized what she meant by 'what happened.' Somehow he found the strength to continue reading.
After I cut off my hair, I got another idea. I bought some boy's clothes and some fake glasses with the rest of Charlotte's money. Nobody will ever guess I'm a girl at all now. It's working pretty well and I already got a job at the livery as a stable boy. The pay's not too bad, but it will be hard to save much. It's a lot harder out here than I thought it would be. But now I can't ever go back to the orphanage. I know I didn't ask for what Wicks did. I fought him as hard as I could. But just the same I can't ever go back. The nuns would see I'm different now. I can't face them with this shame on my heart. I just have to keep working until I can send for Theresa and Jeremiah.
Kid shut the book, shaken. He'd never fully realized how hard she'd had it on her own. Or just why she'd stayed away so long from the nuns and the orphanage. He also realized now, at last, why she wasn't a virgin when he made love to her the first time. He'd always assumed she had lost her virginity shortly before joining the express, but never considered the possibility it had been against her will. She had given herself to him so willingly, with so little fear or apprehension, he never would have dreamed she had been through something so awful at just thirteen.
Staring up at the ceiling, he thought about all the times he had worried about what could happen if someone found out she was a woman while she was out on a run. He had thought she didn't realize the danger, but now it seemed she knew first hand. His heart broke anew at the thought of the shame and pain she had carried alone, never letting him inside to see it and help her. Sighing, he placed the book on the nightstand and turned down the lamp, only to lie awake for several hours haunted by her words on the page.
Kid came down from his room sleepily early the next morning, and was surprised to find Theresa busily working in the kitchen, making breakfast. "Morning, Kid," she said brightly, placing a plate of eggs on the table with a flourish. "I got up and fed the chickens and gathered the eggs already for this breakfast. Get it while it's hot," she told him.
Jeremiah came into the kitchen and sat next to Kid at the table. "Theresa, what is this stuff?" Jeremiah asked, wrinkling his nose at the slightly burnt eggs. "There's shells in these, sis."
Theresa's face crumpled in tears, and she flung down her wooden spoon and ran out of the room.
Kid pushed the inedible mess from him and followed the little girl, finding her crying next to the porch. "Theresa, thanks for making breakfast this morning," he started, gently.
"I wanted to surprise you, and I just messed up," she sobbed.
"It's okay, honey. It's the thought that counts, I don't mind. And as soon as I get a housekeeper out here, maybe she can teach us all how to cook, how about that?"
Theresa sadly wiped her eyes on her already filthy apron. Kid could see there must have been some major mishap in the kitchen, as both the apron and the dress under it were sticky with eggs.
"I think you'd probably best get changed into something else," Kid observed. "It's almost time to leave for school and you got that kind of dirty."
She looked up, stricken. "This is my only dress," she whispered. "The orphanage didn't send any others, just this and my nightgown and some underthings. But I'll figure it out, maybe I can wipe off the eggs."
Kid shook his head. "I don't think so, Theresa. So you need all new things, then? Maybe we can get you something for today at least at Tompkins' before school."
Theresa stood up, mortified. "I don't want you to have to buy new things for me already," she wailed, twisting her little hands in her apron wretchedly. "Maybe I can wash this today and start school tomorrow."
"Theresa, you will need more than one dress, I'm sure. Let's go in to town and go to Tompkins' and try to get you set up. If he doesn't have anything in your size I reckon we'll have to go to the dressmaker's in town for some things. Jeremiah likely needs some things too, so we'd better get going if we're going to do all this before school starts."
Theresa numbly went up the steps to retrieve her brother and the three set off on the walk toward town.
The bell on Tompkins' store tinkled and the three entered. Kid greeted Tompkins and said, "Morning, Mr. Tompkins. You met Louise's brother and sister at Louise's funeral… well, they'll need some new clothes. They're starting school here."
Tompkins nodded. "Got just the thing here," he said, placing a few pairs of britches and shirts on the counter. "These look about your size, young fella. Mrs. Dunne uses McGuffey's readers. You're probably in the Fourth Reader, right?"
Jeremiah scoffed, "Try the Sixth."
Tompkins looked suitably impressed. "The Sixth it is, then. How about you, young lady?"
"I'm in the Third Reader," Theresa mumbled.
Tompkins reached under the counter again. "And here's some serviceable school dresses," he noted, drawing out some everyday calico dresses in different patterns and colors, with pinafores to wear over them. "But for the first day of school, and for Sundays, I'm sure she'll be wanting something special," he added, heading into the back room. He came back holding a lovely little Sunday dress of dark blue velvet. A gasp of admiration escaped the little girl, before she realized it.
"I don't need anything like that, sir," Theresa said quickly.
Kid looked at the little girl. "Are you sure you wouldn't like it, Theresa? You'll need something for Sundays, like Mr. Tompkins said."
Theresa's eyes filled with tears, as she whispered, "I don't want it, Kid."
Tompkins shook his head. "Okay. If they fit, it'll just be those three dresses and pinafores, then?"
"I guess so," Kid said, as Jeremiah came out in his new clothes and Theresa went behind the curtain to try on the dresses.
The mason settled the stone into the ground and braced it. Kid stood back, watching. The mason took out some paper and looked expectantly at Kid. "So what should we carve on there, sir?"
Kid gave Lou's full name and dates of her birth and death. "And a verse, sir?" the mason prompted.
Kid paused. "I don't know… what's usual?"
"Well, you could have me carve 'beloved sister and friend', something like that."
Kid shook his head. "I don't think that'll do, somehow. Can I think about it and let you know?"
"That's fine … I have some other jobs in town and will be around for a week or so before I move on to the next town… I'll be back this way next year if you can't decide before then. Get back to me when you decide."
Kid nodded, shaking the man's hand, and headed back toward the house.
After dinner that evening, Jeremiah and Theresa took out their books to start their homework in the parlor. Kid always tried to help them with their work, though he had left school years ago, when he was younger than Jeremiah, and wasn't entirely sure of some of the harder lessons himself. But he found himself enjoying the children's lessons, especially when they practiced their recitations from their brand new McGuffey's Readers. Every night, one would recite while the other followed along in the Reader.
Tonight, however, Jeremiah and Theresa seemed reluctant when Kid asked what recitation Jeremiah was doing. "I don't need to practice that one, Kid. It's pretty stupid anyway," Jeremiah muttered.
Kid insisted, taking Jeremiah's book. "Come on, Jeremiah. You've got to recite it, and you need to practice. What page were you up to, twenty-five wasn't it?" He opened the book to the page, handed it to Theresa, and said, "Go ahead, and Theresa, you follow along. It's good for you to hear it too."
Shaking his head a little, Jeremiah recited:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death
When Jeremiah's voice trailed off, he and Theresa sat frozen, waiting anxiously for Kid's reaction. There was only silence for long moments, before Kid looked up and spoke softly. "Jeremiah," he said, shaking his head.
"You know, it's probably just as well I never made it to the Sixth Reader… back where I come from the fellas would'a beat the tar outta me if I had to recite anything like that!" he said, eyes twinkling. The two children looked relieved, and giggled at the teasing.
"Now if that's all, maybe you can get out to the barn and water the stock before bed, okay, Romeo?" Kid said, grinning. Jeremiah laughed and set his Reader on his slate before running out. Theresa smiled and hugged Kid before heading to the kitchen to put away the dinner dishes.
When the door closed behind Theresa, Kid retrieved Jeremiah's book, opening it to Browning's famous poem. He read the great poet's words silently to himself again. He didn't know who Elizabeth Barrett Browning was, but he was amazed that she had put his own feelings for Lou into such beautiful and perfect words. He carefully copied the final line, "And I shall but love thee better after death", onto a piece of paper. He would give it to the mason tomorrow; he knew he would never find any truer words to carve on her headstone. He had failed her while she was alive, but would love her better now, he promised himself.
After a few weeks, Rachel reported to Kid that Jeremiah was a bright student who settled in nicely to school and fit in immediately with the other boys. Theresa, however, was painfully shy and having trouble making friends with the other girls. Their Sunday school teacher reported basically the same.
Kid was at a loss. He and Jeremiah had settled into a friendly, pleasant routine. Jeremiah did the reasonable chores Kid set for him willingly and well, and the two were getting on together fine. But Theresa was quiet and nervous, desperate to please, and hardly spoke unless spoken to. Kid had hired an able woman to tend to the cooking and cleaning. But Maria spoke little English; and Kid was unsure of what to say or do with an eight-year-old girl, especially one as timid and sensitive as this.
One afternoon as Kid and Jeremiah were walking home from fishing together, he asked the twelve year old about his sister. He had found that very quickly, he and Jeremiah had become comfortable with one another and hoped the boy could shed some insight on his young sister. She had refused to come fishing, staying home to help Maria with the chores, and Kid asked Jeremiah for advice. "Jeremiah, I'm just worried she don't seem happy. I want to know what I'm doing wrong."
"Oh, that's just Theresa," Jeremiah said dismissively. "It isn't you. She's just one of those girls who's naturally shy and nervous. Even the nuns noticed it. When she was getting ready for her first confession last year Sister Mary Robert told her she had a 'scrupulous' conscience. "
At Kid's baffled look, Jeremiah grinned as they entered the barnyard. "That's fancy Catholic talk for she thinks she's doing something wrong even when she isn't . Worries too much. She feels guilty that you took us in when you're so young, and she's trying to make it up to you. And I think she's shy around the other girls, then they pick up on it and aren't always too nice to her. Kind of like that chick over there," he said, indicating the smallest chick in the yard. "She's the bottom of the pecking order 'cause she can't fight back." Jeremiah shrugged. "I do what I can, but there's not much I can do, I can't exactly fight the eight year old girls in school, you know?"
"No, I guess you can't. Is there anything you think I can do, Jeremiah?" Kid asked, worried.
Jeremiah looked uncomfortable. "There is something… but I don't know how you'll feel about it."
"Well, shoot, and I'll see."
" Well, the Sunday School teacher said that there's a big Sunday School Social at the end of the month. Games and all that. She doesn't want to go."
Kid looked puzzled. "Because she's so shy?"
"That's part of it. But it's more because at the end there'll be a father daughter dance for the girls' class. Theresa's the only one in the class who won't have a father there. Some of the girls were making fun of her and sayin' she couldn't go anyway on account of she wouldn't have anything to wear. You know how little girls get."
"Not really," Kid admitted. "But I get what you're saying. Thanks for your help, Jeremiah."
After the children were in bed for the evening, Kid took out Lou's diary as he did most evenings. He sat with the diary unopened a minute, thinking about Theresa's problem. He could take her to the dance, but money was a little tight right now. The dress he had seen the first day at Tompkins' was expensive, and he wouldn't get paid again for his station managing duties for another week, too late for the social. He sighed and opened Lou's diary to a random page.
Dear Diary,
Kid came back from a run today and he said he had gotten a $100.00 reward for catching a wanted criminal who tried to escape by stealing Katy. At dinner, he said he would buy something special with it and looked right at me! When Rachel said it sounded like somebody was getting a nice surprise, he looked at me again and smiled that beautiful smile of his. I just know he's planning to surprise me with something special. I bet it'll be a locket or a pin or something pretty like that. I'm so excited. Nobody has ever thought I was worth buying anything pretty for. I never thought anybody would ever think I was worth it. I can't wait for tomorrow!
Kid winced a little. He remembered that day. He had taken Lou to the store window to show her the fancy saddle he planned to buy for Katy, and hadn't had the slightest idea why she was suddenly upset. Now he understood it and cringed at his own stupidity. Thinking back, he could see how it must have looked like she was getting a surprise. He cursed himself, re-reading her words, painful as they were to see again. I never thought anybody would think I was worth it.
Now Theresa needed somebody to think she was worth buying something pretty for. Kid got up and pulled a box from the top drawer of his dresser. The box contained the last present his mother had given him before she died. They'd been desperately poor, but at Christmastime somehow she always managed to get a special present for her children. That year, he recalled sadly, things had been so bad she'd gone so far as to cut off and sell her own hair to pay for this expensive pocket watch. He held the watch in his hand, and thought about what to do.
Placing the watch in his jacket pocket, he decided it. He should be able to get enough to pay for the dress and some left over, he reasoned. His mother of all people would understand, and want him to do this for a child who needed it. He wouldn't sit by and let another McCloud girl be disappointed because of him.
The next morning, bright and early, Kid laid the watch on Tompkins' counter. "It's a nice watch, true enough," Tompkins assented. "I'll give you $15 for it."Kid flushed a little. "Mr. Tompkins, you're selling watches in here that aren't half as good as this one, for three times that much."
"Well, I'm entitled to a profit, Kid. Take it or leave it."
As Tompkins was speaking, Rachel had entered, and caught his last words. She saw the blue velvet dress on the counter alongside the watch. "Kid, isn't that the watch your mother gave you?" she gasped.
Kid looked embarrassed. "I'll come back later," he mumbled to Tompkins, nodding to Rachel and rushing out. "Got some business at the mill." He picked up the watch and backed out, tipping his hat to Rachel.
Rachel turned on Tompkins. "How much were you offerin' for that watch, Tompkins?"
Tompkins hung the little dress behind the counter, figuring Kid would be back for it later. "That's none of your concern, Rachel."
"I'm makin' it my concern. That poor boy is working himself to the bone for those two children, grievin' for their sister. He comes in here willing to trade the watch his dead ma gave him for a dress for a little girl, and I know you're fixing to take advantage."
Tompkins scowled. "I still don't see where it's any of your business."
Rachel looked angrily back at Tompkins. She glanced at the dress. "You're charging $15 for that little dress?"
"That's the price."
"Fine," she muttered, counting out all the money she had brought to buy supplies for the station for the week. "It'll cost me a week's pay but that child will have that dress and Kid will keep his watch, you understand me?"
She snatched the dress from Tompkins' hands after he wrapped it up, and stormed out, walking toward the mill. Finding Kid there, she approached slowly. "Kid?" she called.
He turned from his wagon where he was untying the sacks of grain he'd brought in to town. "Hey, Rachel," he smiled. "Done shopping already?"
Rachel held out the package. "I only picked up one thing. Consider it a present from me to Theresa, something to wear to the dance."
Kid looked at the dress, then back at Rachel. Stubbornly, he shook his head. "Rachel, I appreciate the gesture, but I'll have to pay you back. I took on this responsibility, I aim to carry it out." He looked back toward Tompkins' store. "Just wait here a minute and I'll get you your money."
Rachel stopped him. "Don't be a pig-headed fool, Kid. If you insist on payin' me back, when I'm more than willing to make a gift of it to that little girl, so be it. But I can wait until payday. I am not going to have you pawning that watch, not for this. I insist," she said firmly, placing the dress in the wagon.
Kid looked at the little dress uneasily. He knew he had to get it for Theresa, no matter the cost, but he was reluctant to borrow the money, even from a friend like Rachel. Rachel, seeing his hesitation, hurriedly continued. "And Kid, I was hoping I could take care of the fitting and take her shopping for the things to go with it. She'll need a new petticoat and silk stockings and slippers, and matching ribbons, of course. I'll take her right after school, if you'd like."
She saw that her words were alarming him. "She needs all those things too? Are you sure you don't mind helping with that? I wouldn't know the first thing to get for her," he said, reaching into his pocket and taking out a few dollars. "Will this be enough?" he asked.
She smiled and took the money. "That'll do fine, Kid. And Kid," she continued. "Any time you need help with girl things, you come see me, okay? It'd be an honor to help out whenever I can."
Kid nodded, gratefully. "Thanks Rachel. I didn't even have a sister at home, and Lou, well, I only saw her in a dress about three times. I don't really know much about all this. But I'm willing to learn whatever I need to, to take good care of Theresa."
"Well, I'll be glad to teach you. But I need to get to school now. You bring the dress by after school and show it to her, and we can go to Tompkins afterwards, that sound all right?"
He nodded again. "I'll pay you back this payday, Rachel, and thanks for helping."
Rachel pressed his arm and smiled, before heading towards the schoolyard hurriedly. It wouldn't do for her to be late, as she was already having enough trouble in her new role as schoolteacher from the parents. She was bound and determined not to give the parents any reason to criticize. As she rounded the corner of the schoolhouse, she heard some of the girls talking about the upcoming dance, as they had been for weeks. She saw Theresa sitting by herself, reading a book quietly but peeping over the edge as she listened to the talk while trying to appear disinterested. Rachel smiled to herself at the thought that the girl would have a wonderful surprise this afternoon when Kid invited her to the dance and presented her with the dress. She hurried up the steps and rang the bell loudly to open school.
After school let out, Kid was waiting at the schoolhouse gate as he had promised. He greeted Jeremiah and Theresa, as Rachel came up behind them. "I have a little present for you, Theresa," Kid said, pulling the dress from its wrapping and handing it out to her. "It's for your dance this weekend. I was hoping you'd let me take you."
Theresa's eyes lit up as she saw the beautiful dress. Another small girl, decked out in an elaborate lace dress with an enormous ribbon bow on the top of her head, glanced at the dress as she passed by. "It's all right I suppose. But the dance is for fathers and daughters, Mr. Kid. You can't come, you ain't Theresa's father."
Rachel intervened. "That's enough, Agnes Jones. You get on along home, young lady."
As the overdressed Agnes flounced off, Theresa flushed and dropped her hands from the dress, her happiness dashed. "She's right, Rachel. The dance is for fathers and daughters, and that means Kid can't take me," she choked, her shoulders drooping as she morosely climbed up onto the wagon.
Rachel went around the wagon and spoke softly to the young girl. "Honey, that isn't so. Of course Kid can take you. And he planned a surprise … we're goin' shopping for the rest of your outfit for the dance. Won't that be fun?"
Tears were dropping from Theresa's eyes as she averted her face and shook her head. "No, I won't need anything else for the dance. Kid should take that dress back, I won't have anywhere to wear it and it's too expensive."
Seeing some of the other girls snickering as they sauntered past, Kid whispered to Rachel, "Can you just get the other things and bring them over to our place later, Rachel? She's too upset for shopping, and I think I should take her home."
Rachel nodded, and Kid swung up onto the buckboard. Jeremiah shouted to Kid, "I'm staying in town for a little bit, okay, Kid? I'll be home in about an hour if that's okay?"
Kid nodded, answering, "Long as you're home in time for homework and chores before dinner, that's fine." He slapped the reins on the horse's back and they moved off.
As soon as they had passed the children walking towards home, Kid spoke. "Theresa, I'm sorry I embarrassed you at school. I should've waited to show you the dress and ask you to the dance. I didn't know the other girls would act like that."
Theresa sniffed, whispering, "It's okay, Kid. It's not your fault."
They continued on in silence a moment.
"I don't intend on taking back your dress, though." At her alarmed expression, he continued, "I noticed that all the other little girls have fancy dresses for Sunday, and fancy hats and things too. You should have those things too, and Rachel will bring by the rest of your dress-up outfit later. You deserve it, so don't argue, little girl." He looked at her teasingly, hoping to get a smile. She tried to smile a little through her tears.
"I love the dress, Kid. Thank you."
"You're welcome," he grinned back at her. Hesitating a moment, he started shyly, "I know you're worried about going to the dance, because I'm not your father."
Her smile faded and she looked down, whispering huskily, "I wish you were, Kid. More than anything." She stifled a sob, turning and hanging her arms and head over the side of the wagon seat. Kid stopped the wagon and pulled to the side of the road. Addressing her turned head, he said, "You know, I know a little bit how you feel, growin' up without two real parents. Course I had a mother till I was fifteen."
He looked conflicted. "Maybe I'm a poor substitute for two real parents, but -"
She turned her tear-streaked face to him. "That isn't so," she said vehemently. "I'm glad to be with you. I love y-" she stopped, swallowing hard. "I love living here," she finished lamely. She looked back over the side of the wagon again.
Gently, Kid took her small hand in his. "Theresa, I know the adoption isn't final yet. Just the same, I think it's okay for me to take you to the dance, even if it isn't official yet. I wish you'd let me, I'd be proud to take you."
Theresa looked up at him. "Really?"
He nodded, putting an arm around her. They sat like that, with her head resting against his shoulder, for a moment. Kid was surprised at how comfortable the moment was with her, for the first time. He looked into her worshipping little face and smiled. "I love you too, Theresa," he said, honestly. Her face crumpled in tears as she pressed her face against his shoulder, overcome.
His heart, which had been sore and heavy ever since the moment he'd seen Lou's lifeless body in Buck's arms, felt warm for the first time in months. He realized sitting there in the bright afternoon sun, how much he'd already grown to care about this little girl and her brother. How what he'd done for Lou was turning out to be the most important and best thing he'd ever done for himself -- and for two children who were his family now. He hugged her thin shoulders and the two sat wordlessly enjoying the warmth together.
Theresa gasped when she entered the normally plain, bare town hall; tonight, the darkened room was twinkling with paper lanterns on strings overhead and fairy lamps with candles burning on tables around the room. The children had folded white paper into bird shapes and they were floating from thin string in dozens among white streamers draped from the ceiling. The musicians had finished playing a reel and the dancers were standing and clapping. Several little girls whispered and nudged one another, gesturing toward Theresa and Kid, both dressed up in their finest. Theresa shrunk back for a moment, until she proudly realized that the other girls were looking with open admiration at her escort. She flushed pink with pride, as she looked up at her new father, the handsomest man in the room in her eyes.
Kid could hardly believe the change in the girl, dressed up in her new dress, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed with excitement. He smiled down at her and softly asked, "May I have this dance?"
She nodded, her heart too full to speak. Kid led her to the dance floor and the two waltzed around the room together with the other fathers and daughters. As they danced, Theresa's eyes turned serious for a moment, and she falteringly asked Kid, "I know the adoption papers aren't here yet, but do you think it'd be all right if I started calling you Dad now? If you don't want me to, it's okay," she added hurriedly.
He hadn't thought of this yet, he realized. Once the adoption was finalized, he would be the children's father. It was right that they call him that. He nodded. "That'd be an honor, Theresa."
She grinned, a real outshining of happiness, for the first time since she'd arrived. Hugging him tightly around his arm, she said softly, "Thanks … Dad."