Despite the fan blasting in the corner, Ms. Rowan’s classroom was hot and stifling. As she outlined the final history project, many eyes drifted toward the clock, praying for the day to end, and with it the school week.

One pair of eyes, though, was drooping, their owner’s head swaying on top of her hand. Some of the other students nudged each other, amused, in her direction.

From the corner of her mouth, Kaylee Johnson whispered to her nearest neighbor, “Lou McCloud is about to pass out in class again.”

Michaela stifled a giggle. “She must be on drugs,” she whispered back, taking in Lou’s disheveled appearance and exhausted face. “She’s such a mess.”

Sitting on the other side of Michaela, a handsome young man glanced up and over at Lou. He had sandy, curly hair and clear blue eyes, and wore a simple short-sleeved polo shirt. His shy eyes returned to his desk, where he was writing assiduously in a notebook he carried wherever he went. Lately he’d written more and more about the pretty, quiet brunette who sat on his right. They were each other’s only friends at school, sitting quietly together at lunch and in every class they shared, but he hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask to see her outside of school. Like Lou, he preferred keeping to himself for the most part, avoiding contact with the other students, confiding his deepest feelings only in his writing. But there’s something about her, he thought idly. Something that makes me want to break out of my shell and . . .

He shut his notebook abruptly and put it in his backpack, sighing. You’ll never get up the nerve to ask her, a bitter voice whispered inside him. And if you did, she’d never be interested in someone like you.

The bell rang and Lou’s head jerked up, her wide brown eyes blinking.

“Lou and Kevin? You two stay after class a minute.”

The two looked at each other and sat back down at their desks, as the rest of the class filed out.

Ms. Rowan flashed her beautiful, bright smile at the pair kindly. “I asked you two to stay because you’re the only two who haven’t signed up for a topic for the final project,” she said, holding out the signup sheet. “I guess that means you two should be partners, and you’ll be doing a final project on the Pony Express. It’s a fascinating topic, you should enjoy it.”

The pair nodded, not looking up or at each other.

“Well, that’s it, then, Kevin. Lou, could you stay one more minute?”

Kevin gathered his backpack and went into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

“Lou, I asked you to stay because I’m concerned about you.”

The sixteen-year-old avoided Ms. Rowan’s gaze.

“You were sleeping in class again today, and . . .” she paused, not sure how to proceed. She wasn’t sure how to broach the topic of Lou’s suddenly erratic hygiene, but it was clear that the young woman, who had dressed like all the other girls up until a few months ago, now had taken to wearing the same couple of outfits day after day, and only showering on gym days. Charlotte Rowan had a bad enough childhood and adolescence herself to recognize the signs of a problem. “Is there anything wrong, Lou? Anything you need to talk about?”

The girl shook her head silently, but tears were forming in her eyes. “Okay, well, I think you’re going to have to try to get some more rest, honey. And if . . . if there’s anything you decide you need to talk about, then I’m here, okay?”

Lou stood up and grabbed her backpack, nodding and rushing toward the door. She sighed as she saw Kevin by the opposite wall, looking at her.

“What is it, Kevin?” she mumbled as he approached her. He looked down awkwardly.

“Listen, if we’re going to do this project –“

She stopped, brushing a hand over her eyes. “Yes. The project,” she muttered.

“Do you want to come over to my house and we’ll get started on it?” he asked. He stopped, suddenly realizing that he might be coming off a little pathetic, asking her over to do homework on a Friday night. “Well, unless you have other plans,” he mumbled.

She looked down, tiredly. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t. Tonight’s fine.”

“Do you want to come now or later? I can drive us over if you want.”

“Now’s good,” she shrugged.

“Okay, I have my car here,” he started lamely.

“Let’s go, then,” she said, and he walked her the rest of the way to the car, opening the door for her.

As they drove toward the house, Kevin was alarmed to see his companion’s head bobbing and dropping on her chest, jerking awake when they rounded the corner and pulled into his driveway.

Lou looked up, rubbing her eyes.

“If you’re really tired, do you want to do this later? I can take you home –“

“No!” Lou said, her voice almost frightened. “No,” she said more softly. “We should get started. The sooner the better.”

Chapter One

They walked into the colonial style house, and a young man in his late teens called out from the couch where he was watching TV.

“Hey, Kev.”

“Hey, Jed. This is Lou; we have a project to work on for history.”

Jed sat up and turned off the TV. “Well, hello, Lou. Nice to meet you,” he said, a friendly twinkle in his eye. “Offer the lady a snack, little bro.”

Kevin mumbled, “If you’re hungry, we can get something.”

Lou looked down. “Well, if you’re having something . . .”

“And don’t forget, Mom said you’ve got to do your laundry today and have it put away before she gets home, Kev. I’m starting dinner.”

Lou’s eyes lit up. “I can help you with that laundry,” she offered. “Let’s put in a load now.”

“I’ll rustle the two of you a snack while you take care of that,” Jed said, his head in the refrigerator.

As Kevin and Lou sorted his laundry, Lou said, awkwardly, “Is it . . . is it okay if I put a couple things in with yours? My . . . my washing machine is broken at home,” she said a little lamely.

“Sure, but what have you got?”

“Well, what I have on . . . and a few things in here,” she said, opening her backpack. “Are you doing whites first?” she asked, seeing him start to load them in the washer. She pulled out a bra and two pairs of white panties, along with two pairs of white socks and a white t-shirt, tossing them in the washer. Turning her back, she reached under her shirt and unsnapped her bra, pulling it through her sleeve, and tossed it in with the rest of the clothes.

“Why are you carrying all those dirty clothes around?” Kevin asked before he thought.

“No reason, just . . . just I planned to go to the Laundromat with them today if I didn’t come here,” she said defensively.

“Okay, I didn’t mean to pry,” Kevin said, putting on the washer and trying not to stare in the direction of her top. “Let’s get that food Jed is making for us, and take it to my room to work, okay?”

Lou hesitated. “Your room?”

“That’s where my computer is.”

“Right,” she said, looking around awkwardly again. “Well let’s go then.”

“Keep the door open, Kev,” Jed called out mischievously as the pair walked past the television room to his brother’s room, snapping the TV on again with the remote. “Four on the floor, buddy.”

Lou looked around Kevin’s room, and noticed that there were no posters of half-naked girls, or cars, or any of the things she expected to see in a teenage boy’s room. The walls were bare, except for shelf after shelf of books, including one shelf crammed with spiral-bound notebooks like the one she always saw him writing in. Her fingers itched to take one down and see what he was always writing.

She looked away, a little ashamed at her thoughts. It’s none of your business what he writes in there, she told herself, looking shyly at him as he rustled around turning on his computer.

Lou was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Kevin. He really listens, really is interested in what I have to say, she marveled. Nobody else ever is. They worked on the project at first, but soon found themselves talking about their secret dreams and hopes, the words spilling out uncharacteristically eagerly to each other.

It seemed like only minutes, but at six o’clock, they both were surprised at the sound of the automatic garage door clanking loudly.

“My parents.”

“I guess I’d better get going,” Lou said, reluctantly. “I’ve had a wonderful time,” she said sincerely, and he smiled broadly, ducking his head.

Thrilled at her words, he felt himself getting bolder. “Can you stay for dinner? Jed’s a pretty good cook actually. Then we could work a little after dinner too. If you’re not busy tonight, that is.”

Lou smiled back at Kevin’s handsome face. “I’d like that,” she said softly.

As they headed down the stairs, Jed shouted, “You’d better set the table, Kev. You stayin’ for dinner, Lou? I made plenty.”

“Mom, Dad, this is Lou McCloud. Is it okay if she stays for dinner?” Kevin asked, a little anxiously.

Kevin’s parents smiled at each other. “Sure, Kevin, that’d be fine,” his mother answered. “Could you two set the table?”

Jed and his parents gathered in the kitchen, craning their necks for a glimpse of the two sixteen-year-olds as they set the table. “So, this is good. I don’t know when the last time is that Kevin brought a friend over,” his mother remarked, whispering.

“And a girl, no less,” Jed whispered back. “She’s pretty cute, too.”

“I think we should encourage this,” said his father. “He needs to get out of his room and into the real world more. She seems like a nice girl. I don’t know the parents, though, do you Jean?”

She shook her head, ruefully. “No . . . I don’t know any McClouds,” she mused.

“Whatever you do, don’t scare her off with a million questions, you two,” Jed warned. “She seems shy.”

“Okay, Dr. Phil,” teased his mother. “Jeez, you take a couple psychology classes in college and now you’re all sensitive on us.” She ruffled her older son’s hair affectionately.

“I’m just sayin’,” Jed protested.

“We hear you, Jed,” his father said, a little irritably, taking a beer from the refrigerator.

“Mark,” she protested. “Can’t that wait until after dinner, for once?”

“No, it can’t,” Mark said abruptly, popping the lid and carrying the drink to the table.

“So, have a seat, kids. The table looks good.”

Jed carried out a huge bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. “Hope you brought your appetite, Lou.”

Lou’s face was a little pale, and she looked down. “Yes, I did,” she said quietly.

“So, Lou, what do your parents do? I don’t think I know them,” Mark said, forgetting Jed’s warning.

Lou looked around awkwardly. “My mother stays home. And I have a stepfather.”

“Oh yeah? Who is he, maybe I know him.” Mark remarked. “As councilman, I try to know all my constituents.”

Jed rolled his eyes slightly but said nothing.

She mumbled reluctantly, “He’s Stanley Boggs. The Police Chief.”

Mark looked impressed. “Well, you don’t say. I remember him getting married a few years ago; I didn’t realize he had a family.”

Lou studied her plate, fidgeting with her napkin.

Jed, sensing her discomfort, changed the subject. “So Kev, how’s the project going? Think you’ll finish it tonight?”

Kevin shook his head. “No, I doubt that, it’s . . . going slower than we thought.”

“Well, you’ll have the house to yourselves to work, tonight. I’m going out, and Mom and Dad, you were going to the movies with the Kleins, right?”

Mark and Jean looked at each other, then at the two painfully shy teenagers at the table. Jean smiled to herself. “Yes, we’ll be going out,” she said. I certainly don’t have to worry about leaving these two alone, she thought, but the thought was a bittersweet one. If only Kevin was a little less shy, and Jed a little more, she thought regretfully.

As they finished dinner, Jed stood up. “Well, I’d better get on out of here. “

“Can’t you help with the dishes, Jed?” Jean protested. “Your father and I have to leave in half an hour.”

“Kevin and I can take care of them,” offered Lou. “It won’t take long if we work together, and it’s the least I can do after such a nice dinner.”

The two of them stood companionably in the kitchen rinsing the dinner dishes and loading the dishwasher. Though they had been dumbstruck at dinner, once alone again they chattered freely. As Lou handed Kevin the washed spaghetti pot to dry and put away, the other three members of Kevin’s family came into the kitchen to say good night.

“We’ll be home at around midnight,” Jean said. “Have fun.”

“But not too much fun, little bro,” Jed whispered, teasingly. Kevin blushed, and Jed reached out and punched his brother’s arm lightly, smiling encouragingly.

Lou followed Kevin back toward his first-floor room, and then paused at the bathroom door beside it.

“Kevin? Do you think it would be okay if I took a shower? I didn’t get a chance this morning, the hot water was broken.”

“Okay, if you want to.” He pulled two towels from the closet and handed them to her. She took them in one arm, her backpack with her clean clothes in it in the other.

In fifteen minutes, he heard the blow-dryer running, and ten minutes after that, she entered his room. He glanced back at the computer screen, shyly. She looks so pretty, he thought, his heart catching a little. He gathered his courage, and then managed, “Listen. I know we were going to work on this tonight. But there’s a dance tonight at school, isn’t there? I was wondering if you’d like to go with me.”

She looked down at her clothes. “But I don’t have anything to wear,” she said, blushing.

“You don’t have to wear anything. I mean, what you have on looks nice,” he said, his eyes shining at her.

Lou looked dubious. “Are you sure? We really aren’t dressed for a dance.”

“It doesn’t matter. I only want to be with you.”

His artless, honest answer touched her heart. “Then if you don’t mind, okay, let’s go,” she said.

Pulling up to the school, Lou had some second thoughts. She looked down again at her jeans and pink flowered blouse. At least they’re clean, she thought dubiously, twisting the ends of the small sash tie on the blouse, as Kevin walked around to the side of his car.

“You look beautiful,” he said, helping her out of the car. They walked in to the dance together, hand in hand, both their hearts pounding a little at being with each other and out at a dance. The music was blaring, and Lou clung a little to Kevin’s arm.

For the first half hour, they stood together on the sidelines, as they watched the others dancing and talking. As Lou had feared, the other girls were wearing dresses, and a couple of them looked at her scornfully. She blushed, about to ask Kevin if they could leave; but then a slow number came on and Kevin turned to her, admiringly. “Would you care to dance?” he said, smiling.

“I would,” she laughed back, and he took her hand, slipping his arm around her waist. Her heart raced faster as the music played in the background, and he held her closer, swaying slightly to the music. The rest of the kids at the dance melted away for them, as his arms tightened around her, his face close to hers.

Kiss me, she thought desperately, her eyes locked on his. His hand slid up her back and stroked her neck under her hair, then pulled her gently toward him, his lips brushing hers. She whimpered slightly as he leaned in even closer, kissing her softly at first. She found herself being drawn into a shadowy corner, away from the others’ prying eyes. “Lou,” he moaned, between now hungry kisses. The longing in his voice made her quiver with feelings so intense that they frightened her. She pulled away, reluctantly, but stood in his arms, not willing to walk away completely.

“Lou, I’m sorry – I’ve just wanted to kiss you for so long now,” he admitted. “Don’t be angry, please.”

“I’m not angry,” she whispered back. “I’m glad you did.” They stood in each others’ arms, not caring who saw them, or what anyone else thought or said about it.

“I just can’t believe you wanted to,” she said incredulously, gazing at him, and running a tentative finger over his handsome face. It’s so strange that he isn’t more popular with the other kids. He’s so handsome and nice, she thought fleetingly. She snuggled into his arms contentedly and they swayed together as the music and noise blared away behind them. She didn’t care one bit that he wasn’t popular, or on a team, or any of the other things that seemed to matter so much in their small world. Neither of them were among those who supposedly ‘counted’ at their school. But right now, she wouldn’t trade places with any of them. It was crazy, but it was true – she knew after just one magical kiss – I only want to be with you.

After the dance was over, Kevin walked her to his car and started the engine. “How do I get to your house?” he asked, putting the car into drive.

Her face went white at the simple question. She looked out the window. “It’s still early,” she whispered. “Why don’t we go back to your house instead and . . . and watch a movie or something?” she asked desperately.

Kevin glanced at the dashboard; it was eleven o’clock. “Won’t your parents mind you getting home that late? Did you ever call them to say where you were?”

She looked defeated, and shook her head silently.

“My cell phone battery is dead or I’d let you call them. By the time we get to my house, there’d be no time to see a movie, before we’d have to get you home, would there?” he pointed out. “Why don’t I drop you off, and let’s meet up again tomorrow morning at the library?”

She nodded, still looking away.

“So where do you live?”

She gave the address a little shortly, and he drove her there, pulling up in the driveway and turning off the ignition. “I’ll walk you up to the door,” he said.

“I can’t ask you in, my . . . parents are probably asleep.”

“That’s fine. I just want to make sure you get in okay.”

She fished in her backpack and pulled out a door key, as they approached the front door. She turned the key in the lock, and he put an arm on her waist.

“I had a great time tonight,” he said quietly, pulling her gently toward him. “Good night,” he said, kissing her. She felt tense in his arms at first, but relaxed into the kiss, slipping her arms around his neck.

Breaking the kiss, she leaned her face against his shoulder a moment, and then smiled shakily up at him. “I’d better go on in.”

“Lou?” he said, stopping her again.

“What?”

He paused a moment, wanting so much to tell her he loved her - - then blurted, “I’ll … I’ll see you tomorrow at 9:30 at the library, okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, smiling and kissing him again on the cheek. She shut the door and he headed toward his car, happier than he could remember being in his whole life. He put the car in reverse and backed out of her driveway, and into traffic, humming along with the radio. He grinned a little, listening to the love song playing . . . he felt like at last, he knew what those silly love songs meant. I need to work up the courage to tell her, he thought, his heart full of emotion.

Pulling into a gas station, he opened the door and the ceiling light came on. Glancing over by the passenger side, he saw that Lou had dropped something in the car, probably when she was going through her backpack. Leaning over, he saw it was her contact lens case. She might need that before bed, he thought, hesitating. He wavered a moment, filling up his tank and heading in to the station to pay.

Getting back in the car, he decided he’d go back and tap on the door quietly, in case she needed it right away. Pulling back up to the house, he knocked on the door tentatively, and heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He looked down awkwardly when a man answered.

“Mr. Boggs?” he ventured.

“Yes. What’s the idea knocking on the door this hour of night?”

“I just dropped off your daughter here, sir, and she left something in the –“

“My what?”

Kevin stammered, “Your daughter? Lou?”

Mr. Boggs stood staring at him a moment. “First off, she’s not my daughter. She’s my stepdaughter. Second, she isn’t here,” he said snidely.

“But sir, I just dropped her off twenty minutes ago. I don’t need to see her, just leave something for her.”

The man stared a minute, then called out loudly, “Louise?” He went to the stairs and flew up them. Kevin nervously stood in the foyer, worried.

Mr. Boggs came back down. “You say you dropped her here?”

Kevin nodded. “She went in with her key.”

“Well, she’s not here now.” Mr. Boggs looked intently at Kevin. “What’s your name?”

“Kevin Miller.”

“Well, Kevin, when you see her, you tell her she can come on home whenever she wants, when she makes up her mind to stop this foolishness. Understand?”

Kevin nodded again, feeling uncomfortable. There was something off about this man, and he couldn’t understand why Lou wasn’t at home. He mumbled goodbye and headed toward his car, mystified.

Chapter Two

Kevin was still worrying about Lou the next morning, when he sat waiting for her to show up at the library. She came in wearing the same clothes she had on at the dance, and looking slightly rumpled and tired, with red eyes.

“Hi, Lou,” he said, worry etched on his face. “You okay today?”

“Sure,” she sighed. “We’d better get started.”

“Your eyes look a little red. I, uh, I found your contact case in the car last night, I guess you could have used it to take them out.” He handed it to her, and watched as she quickly turned her back and slipped the contacts out and into the case, filling it with saline from a small bottle. She placed a pair of glasses on and turned back, rubbing her eyes.

“I went by your house to drop it off last night.”

Lou dropped her hands and stared at him a moment, then picked up her backpack and turned around, rushing from the library.

“Lou,” he called after her. When she didn’t stop he ran after her, catching up to her in the library parking lot. “Please, don’t run away from me. Talk to me, what’s wrong? Why don’t you live at home anymore?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your father told me.”

“He’s not my father!” she shouted. “My father’s dead!”

He drew back, and she bit her lip.

“Lou, can you get in the car and we can go someplace and talk about this? My house, someplace?”

She nodded, her eyes blinded with tears.

During the brief ride to his house, she sat crying silently into her hand, and his heart was wrung with pity and fear about what she was about to tell him.

Lou stepped into Kevin’s room, dreading the conversation that was to follow. I want to tell him the truth . . . but what if he can’t look at me the same after? We were getting along so well, she fretted. And . . . and what if he tells somebody?

She sat heavily down on the bed, her head bowed. “My mother married him when I was thirteen. We couldn’t stand each other from the start,” she said dully. “But, we managed to make do while Mom was around. She, she got sick about a year ago,” she gulped. “Really sick.”

He sat down next to her on the bed, putting an arm around her waist, and she drew in a breath.

“Mom started having to go in for a lot of treatments, and when she was home, she was too sick to even get out of bed. Things started going from bad to worse with my stepfather. He was always yelling, picking on me, and . . . without Mom to calm him down . . .”

She was crying now, and they found themselves clasped in each other’s arms, lying on the bed. She was choking with sobs against his chest for long minutes. When she quieted, he stroked her hair and asked, “What did he do to you, Lou?”

Dully, she answered, “Beat me, when he was mad or frustrated, he’d take it out on me. It got really bad one night, and I thought, if I stay here, he’s going to kill me sooner or later. I just couldn’t take it anymore, Kevin. I took as much stuff as I could carry and Ieft there. Mom’s in hospice now, so there’s no reason for me to be in that house anymore.”

“Why didn’t you tell somebody he was hurting you? Get some help?”

She sighed. “I didn’t want to go into a foster home. I didn’t want my mother to know what was happening, she has enough on her mind. And … and I was ashamed,” she admitted.

“Lou, did he do anything else –“

Lou abruptly looked away.

“He didn’t rape me,” she said stiffly. “He didn’t . . . didn’t rape me. I’m a virgin,” she wailed. “I’m a virgin,” she insisted again, sobbing.

“Lou, you don’t have to talk about it if it hurts too much,” he pleaded, holding her.

“I’m still a virgin. It’s true,” she kept saying. “He didn’t do anything that took that from me. He was too smart for that. He’s a cop, he knows how far he can go without leaving proof behind.”

He was afraid to touch her again, agonized that she might think he was like her stepfather, but aching to comfort her in some way. She sensed what he was thinking.

“Please don’t let this change anything,” she begged, her face wet with tears. “You’re the only person in the world, besides my mother, who cares if I live or die, who I can talk to. If this changes our friendship, I’ll die.” She said it calmly, but with deadly seriousness. She ran a finger under his chin and he looked into her eyes. “I love you, Kevin.”

“I love you too, Lou,” he said truthfully, the emotion overwhelming him. They lay staring at each other a moment silently, before he continued. “What are we going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Lou, where are you living?”

She closed her eyes tight, and mumbled, “I sleep in abandoned houses or cars, or outside when it’s warm enough. Sometimes the homeless shelter when there’s nowhere else to go, but I don’t like it there, it’s too scary. I try to catch up on sleep in bookstores and the library and places like that on the weekend, after school, and I stay up at night walking around sometimes when I can’t get into the shelter or the people there are too dangerous looking. But I’m getting so tired,” she admitted. “Last night after I left my house, I couldn’t find any place to sleep. I’ve been up since then.”

“What do you do for money? For food?”

“School lunch. Going hungry sometimes. Working little jobs here and there for a meal or for a few dollars. If I can get through high school -”

“You can’t keep fooling people forever, Lou.”

“I don’t have to, just another year, or until my mother -” she broke off.

He looked at her exhausted face. “You can’t keep going like this for long,” he told her gently. “You’re wearing yourself down to nothing.”

“I don’t have another choice,” she said stubbornly. “Kevin, you can’t tell. If I end up in foster care, my mother’s heart will be broken. She has no idea about what Stanley’s done, or that I had to leave home. And I don’t ever want her to.”

Seeing the stubborn set of her jaw, he relented. “I won’t tell, if you let me help you, as much as I can, anyway.”

She looked dubious. “What are you getting at?”

“I can make sure you’re not hungry. And . . . and maybe you can sleep here nights. If you wanted to, we could sneak you in here at night and out in the morning before my parents see you, out the window. They go out most every night anyway, and they don’t know what’s going on half the time. Their room is on the second floor, so they’ll never know, and Jed won’t tell if he finds out, if I ask him not to.”

He could see she was tempted by the offer. “But what do I have to do to pay you back?” she asked a little suspiciously.

That hurt, and he looked away to hide it. “I won’t touch you or do anything to you, that you don’t want me to,” he said. “There’s plenty of room in the bed, I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, shamed. “I know that, I’m just not used to anybody helping me without wanting to get something out of it.”

She leaned forward and turned his face back to hers, kissing him softly on the lips, then opening her mouth and kissing him more deeply. She drew him back onto the bed with her, stroking his face and neck, and then running her arm down his. She pulled his arm around herself, and he held her close, as she hid her face in his shoulder.

They lay together for long, peaceful minutes in silence, until he realized the exhausted girl had fallen asleep. He didn’t get up, but just looked out the large window idly, watching the spring breeze flutter the curtains, as she slept the morning and early afternoon away in his arms.

At six o’clock the next morning, Kevin rapped lightly on his bedroom door, and Lou quickly opened it. He handed her a yogurt and some fruit, and she thanked him, putting them into her backpack. She turned to his mirror and combed her hair into a ponytail, as he sat at his computer desk and put on his sneakers. “Your parents up yet?” she asked. “Jed?”

“Still sleeping,” he confirmed.

“I was a little afraid the water would wake them up from our two showers,” she worried.

“Don’t be, you can’t hear the downstairs shower up there in their rooms.”

“Maybe I’d better take off before anybody gets up, though,” she said reluctantly. “What do you guys do on Sunday morning?”

“Church.”

“Oh. Well, when’s that?”

“We always go ten o’clock services. I’ll be able to meet you someplace by noon if you want to. You don’t have to.”

His heart stilled as she came over toward his chair and sat on his lap, glancing at him shyly.

“I’d love to meet you. I slept so much yesterday, we didn’t get any work really done on the Pony Express report. You should have woken me up,” she admonished.

“You needed it,” he pointed out. And you looked so beautiful asleep next to me, I couldn’t bear to wake you, he thought distractedly.

“You can leave your backpack here, if you want to,” he offered. “Maybe hide it in the closet?”

“Thanks, I will,” she said, fishing her bus pass out of the pocket along with a few dollars. Before she could get up to hide the backpack, he stopped her, his hand on her arm.

“Lou?” he said tremulously. “Good morning,” he whispered, pulling her gently to him for a tender kiss.

“Meet me at the library at noon?” she said. He nodded, and slowly they separated. She opened his window and with a smile, went out. He touched his hand to his mouth, where he almost could still feel her kiss. How my life’s changed in two days, he marveled. I never knew that I could be in love like this. Or that she could love me back.

Another voice, small but insistent, played in the back of his head. She doesn’t really love you, it taunted. She’s just desperate, she’s homeless. She needs someplace to live, that’s all, don’t kid yourself. He brushed a hand over his eyes, trying to dispel the doubting voice, and looked around nervously for his notebook. He opened it and sat down, scribbling furiously, his face troubled, until he was startled by his father’s voice in the kitchen.

“Kevin, come on, your mom has breakfast ready.” Kevin looked at the clock; quarter to nine. He sighed; he’d lost track of time while writing. He looked back over the pages he’d just written and bit his lip, shutting the book and shoving it in his backpack.

“Coming, Dad,” he answered.

Monday morning, Lou waited around the corner from Kevin’s house, scanning the road for his car. She’d sneaked out his window half an hour before, and sat munching on the bagel he’d smuggled out of the kitchen for her. It’s only been a weekend, but I feel so much better, she reflected. I’ve gotten enough sleep and enough to eat for the first time in months. But it’s more than that. She smiled to herself as she clasped Kevin’s class ring hanging from a cord around her neck. I have somebody who loves me, really loves me, incredible as that is. I feel so safe and protected.

She grinned happily at the sight of his car pulling over, and she ran around and got in next to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. He smiled at her, and squeezed her hand silently before pulling back into traffic.

“You sleep okay?” she asked, slyly looking at him. He blushed.

“How could I not, with a beautiful woman lying next to me,” he said, glancing over at her. She looks wonderful, he thought, pleased. The paleness and dark circles under her eyes were gone, and her clothes were freshly laundered. She seemed happy as she bit into an apple he had given her before she left his room.

“Better than a teddy bear?” she teased, making him blush more furiously.

“Much better.”

“That’s good,” she commented. “Thanks so much for everything you’re doing, Kevin. You’re saving my life,” she said seriously. “I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you –“

“You know you don’t owe me nothing,” he said quickly. “I want to help you, you don’t have to be my girlfriend in exchange for that.”

“I know. That’s just one of the extra perks of this arrangement,” she said saucily. Her spunky nature was starting to return, and she smiled lovingly at him. “You,” she murmured, stroking his arm. “I love spending all this time near you,” she said, her voice husky. “I’ve dreamed about it for weeks.”

“You have?”

“Of course. I told you I love you, didn’t I? That didn’t happen overnight, you know. And … and I thought sometimes you felt the same way, though I never dreamed I could be with you every night like this.”

Her words were starting to arouse him, and his hands trembled on the steering wheel. He pulled into a parking spot on the far end of the school lot, frantically detached his seatbelt, as she undid hers. Pulling her close, he kissed her passionately, desperately, his shaking hands roaming up her back and through her silky hair.

She lost herself in his kiss, and the two were oblivious to the other students passing by the car, some staring, on their way to class. The final bell shattered the air and their embrace, and they reluctantly headed in to Ms. Rowan’s homeroom hand in hand. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear as they let go of each other’s hands and took their seats for attendance.

Kaylee and Michaela exchanged looks as the couple came in holding hands, Kevin’s school ring hanging around Lou’s neck. Ms. Rowan glanced at them too, noting that Lou looked infinitely better and happier than she had on Friday afternoon during history class. As the bell rang dismissing homeroom and starting first period, she gently pulled Lou aside.

“Everything better this week, Lou?”

“Much better,” Lou smiled. “Thanks for asking.”

“Well, don’t forget if you still need a friend to talk to, my offer stands.”

“I appreciate that, Ms. Rowan,” the girl answered, looking over to the door, where Kevin waited to walk her to their next class. “I’d better get going, see you eighth period.”

She almost skipped out into the hall, Kevin’s larger hand swallowing her small one, as they beamed happily at each other and headed toward English class together.

Chapter Three

As she had every night for a month, Lou tapped on the window to Kevin’s room, and he opened it, helping her in quickly. “Let’s put on the TV,” she suggested. He nodded and she kicked off her shoes, hopping up on his bed.

He sat next to her and flicked the TV on, finding the Friday night movie. They watched TV for a little while, before he leaned in and kissed her tenderly, then more deeply. Over the last month, their secret love had grown more and more intense, and they had managed to keep anyone, even Kevin’s family, from knowing about their secret paradise in Kevin’s room at night. But kisses and holding each other had started not to be enough for either of them.

The kiss intensified and she moaned, caressing the back of his head, then slid her hand down his arm, catching his hand in hers and guiding it, a little surprised at her own boldness.

Kevin caressed her over the soft cotton of her pajamas, watching her reactions under the flickering light from the television. Brand new sensations rippled through her being. “Kevin,” she whimpered, arching against his hand. He continued touching her for long minutes; “I love you,” he whispered, reverently, fascinated by the pleasure playing over her face.

She smiled up into his gentle eyes dizzily. “I love you too. I’ll do anything you want me to,” she added, moving to unsnap his jeans. “Anything . . .”

Something in the way she said it seemed to bring him to his senses. He sat up, uncertainly. “What are we doing?” he said, confused. “I don’t want to push you into something you’ll regret. . .”

“I’ll never be sorry,” she said, tremulously. “I’m ready, Kevin, please love me,” she pleaded. “I’ve wanted you to for a long time now.”

His heart swelled inside, and they tore at each other’s clothes, frantic now. He rolled on top of her, kissing her again, as they gave in to their desire; he clutched her tighter as she grimaced in slight pain. At her gasp and the sight of her blood, Kevin panted, “Lou – should I stop –“

Before she could answer, they were startled by the bedroom door opening, and a slightly drunken Jed barreling in, “So Kev, you still up –“

Seeing his brother and Lou naked and frantically trying to cover themselves, Jed blurted, “Whoa –“ and backed out of the room abruptly, shutting the door behind him.

They rolled off the bed and scrambled for their clothes. Outside in the hall, Jed snapped, “The kitchen in five minutes, you two. I’m serious.”

When they filed down to the kitchen, Jed was standing disapprovingly against the sink.

“What the hell were you two thinking?” he demanded. “Don’t you know Mom and Dad could be home any second? I’m surprised at you for being so reckless, Kev,” he said, astonished.

They looked down, humiliated and disappointed.

“How long has this been going on, anyway?”

Kevin blushed furiously. “That was . . . that was our first time. We got a little carried away.”

Jed’s face softened with pity. “I’m sorry guys. But Mom and Dad called me on their cell and they’ll be here any minute. Better me than them walking in on you.”

Pulling out a chair and gesturing them to sit down, he continued. “And please tell me you were being careful at least.”

They looked at each other, dumbly.

Jed dropped his head on his hand. “Kevin,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Can you give me one good reason I shouldn’t go to Mom with this? How could you be so irresponsible?”

“It isn’t like you think, Jed. We . . . we love each other.”

Lou blushed and the two joined hands.

Shaking his head, Jed sighed again. “Kev. I’ll make you a deal, against my better judgment. I won’t rat you out to Mom and Dad, if you two let me take you down to Planned Parenthood tomorrow and you get yourselves taken care of, or promise me you’ll stop seeing each other. Which will it be?”

Kevin looked at Lou inquiringly. She nodded. “I’ll go to Planned Parenthood,” she whispered, ducking her head down. “Just please don’t tell on us,” she pleaded, fear palpable in her voice.

Jed looked at the girl sharply; the fear seemed stronger than just normal worry about getting in trouble with her parents. He hesitated, and then continued. “Okay. Well, Kev, I’m in no condition to drive Lou home; Paul dropped me off. And I don’t trust you two to get in a car together alone until after we take care of business tomorrow morning. So Lou, call your parents to come pick you up.”

“They’re not home,” Lou blurted.

Jed paused again. “Well, then I guess you’re staying over. Mom and Dad won’t be in the mood to drive you home when they get here. Kev, you can bunk in with me tonight and Lou can have your room for tonight, okay?”

The young lovers looked guiltily at each other.

“Jed, there’s . . . there’s something else,” Kevin admitted.

“What are you talking about, Kevin?” Jed asked.

“I’ve been living here,” Lou said, her voice shaking. “This really was the first time we made love, but I’ve been sleeping in Kevin’s room for a month now.”

Jed gaped at his brother and his girlfriend. “How . . . how . . .” he stammered.

“She comes around midnight and leaves by seven. Since you and mom and dad are on the second floor, you’ve never caught on. Please don’t tell, Jed. Lou can’t go back home, she has nowhere else to go but here.”

Jed looked at Lou, then back at his brother. “Kevin, I guess I’m a little surprised you never came to me with this. We’ve always talked about everything before.”

“I didn’t want to drag you into this if I could help it.”

“Things that bad at home, Lou?” Jed asked quietly. The hunted look in her eyes was enough answer.

“Okay. I won’t tell about that either, but just the same, I think it’s best if you sleep in separate rooms tonight, I think you’re going to have a hard time not finishing what you started. Once you’re safe, I won’t interfere, but until then, Lou, you’re on your own down here tonight, understand?”

They nodded, gratefully.

“And we’re not done talking about all this, either, you two, but Mom and Dad will be home any minute. Lou, get on into Kev’s room and turn out the light, and Kev, you come up and take the other bed in my room. I’ll take you two to breakfast in the morning, early, before Mom and Dad get up.”

“Thanks, Jed,” Lou said, low, before she scampered back to Kevin’s room.

Lying in their two beds in Jed’s room, the two brothers talked quietly.

“Kevin, I know you must think you love this girl. I’m not saying what you feel is wrong, but she’s vulnerable. That stepfather of hers . . . he’s molesting her, isn’t he?”

Kevin was silent.

“Don’t you think she should report him? Get some help?”

“Jed, you promised not to tell. She doesn’t want to report him, she has no proof, and she doesn’t want to hurt her mother. He’s an important guy, the Chief of Police, what if nobody believes her? I don’t know what she’ll do if you push her to go for help with this.”

“Just be careful, Kevin. Girls who get hurt that way, who have no place to turn, sometimes –“

“So you’re saying she couldn’t really love somebody like me,” Kevin said, pain in his voice.

“I’m not saying that, at all –“

“She loves me,” Kevin said firmly.

Jed chose his words carefully. “I know she does, buddy. I know you’d never take advantage of her, either. Just, keep in mind what she’s going through, make sure she’s okay before you take any big steps. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”

“I’m holding back the best I can,” Kevin said. “I’m letting her set the pace, I never push her. Never.”

“Okay, little bro. Just go to sleep, and we’ll get up and take care of things in the morning,” Jed said soothingly. He knew his sensitive brother enough not to push him too much. It’s you I’m worried about most, Kev, he thought, worried. You take everything so seriously, get hurt so easily.

Jed wished he could go to their parents for help. Their mother was okay as far as that went, but she was ruled by their domineering, intolerant father. No, it’s better if I try to handle this, he thought. >Dad will never understand, he’ll make Lou go home, and then she may run off and get hurt. Kevin would be devastated if that happened, he realized. He turned over and made up his mind to do what he could to help guide the young couple, knowing his father would only make matters worse.

Jed pulled up to a diner parking lot and smiled back at the two downcast looking teenagers in the back seat. They had gotten a late start and gone straight to Planned Parenthood. “Come on, guys. It wasn’t that bad, was it? And now if you decide you want to be together again, you know how to protect yourself.”

They nodded solemnly.

“Let’s get a little breakfast, my treat.”

As they followed into the diner, Kevin muttered to Lou, “This is because he wants to lecture us some more.” Though he complained, though, it made him feel good that Jed cared enough to do it. His parents barely seemed to know or want to know anything about what he was doing. Lou smiled and squeezed Kevin’s arm. “That’s okay, Kevin. He’s just looking out for you.”

Jed studied the menu intently, then glanced up at the waitress, who smiled down at the handsome, sunny young man. “I’m not that hungry,” he mused. “Just the grand slam breakfast today, Maude. You know how I like it.”

Looking at the description of Jed’s breakfast – “three eggs, three pancakes, toast, homefries, and your choice of ham, sausage links, or bacon”, Kevin and Lou giggled a little, then gave their orders. Maude headed back to the kitchen, sticking her pencil in the enormous bun on the back of her head.

The tension broken, Lou and Kevin smiled across at Jed. He smiled back, sipping his coffee.

“So. You’re in love, are you?”

They nodded vigorously, and Jed smiled again, setting his cup down.

“That’s great, kids. But do you think it’s possible you’re rushing things a little? Living together, having sex, going steady? You’ve only started seeing each other a month ago. What’s the rush?”

“When you’ve found the right person, you just know it,” Kevin insisted. “Why wait?”

“Have you ever been in love, Jed?” Lou asked, curiously. “And did you wait to . . . you know?”

Jed looked at her, then flickered his eyes to Kevin’s. Running his hands around his cup, he looked back again at Lou. “I’ve been in love with the same person since I was younger than you are, Lou.”

“Really? But who is it?” Lou said, mystified. “Kevin never said anything.”

“That’s probably because I don’t tell too many people. My parents don’t know. They wouldn’t approve.”

Lou looked confused. “Why not?” She paused. “Well . . . if you want to talk about it. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Jed shook his head. “If Kevin loves you, that’s good enough for me to trust you,” he said. Kevin smiled and put an arm around Lou’s waist.

“It’s my friend Paul.”

Lou’s mouth dropped open, and Jed laughed so raucously at her dumbfounded expression, that the other diners looked over in amusement.

“I don’t mean to look surprised, Jed,” she stammered. “I just have seen you and Paul together and you’ve never acted like there was anything but friendship there.”

“Well, when you’re gay in this town, and with parents like ours, you learn to cover when other people are around.”

“He loves you too?”

“Yes. We’ve been together for five years,” he told her. “And, truth to tell, we didn’t wait that long after we decided how we felt.”

Maude brought the plates and set them in front of the teenagers.

Jed took two pancakes and sandwiched his eggs and bacon between them, biting in hungrily.

Chewing, Jed continued. “But I wish we had waited longer. We rushed into sex because we felt like we were so alone.”

Kevin shook his head in disbelief. “Jed, you were the president of your class, the captain of half the teams at school. Everybody liked you. How could you feel lonely?”

Jed’s eyes grew a little troubled. “I couldn’t be myself, not totally, Kev. I felt like I was the only gay person in the whole world, like I was putting up some big front to the world. Meeting somebody going through the same things as I was, well, I wanted to drop that act and be myself so much, I think we rushed through the stages a little faster than we should have.”

He took another enormous bite of his pancake sandwich before continuing. “But we were nothing compared to you two! Listen, just keep it in mind. If things are meant to be, there’s no need to rush. Take your time, enjoy the journey a little.”

Kevin looked at his plate thoughtfully and nodded, but wasn’t totally convinced. I feel like there is a rush, he thought uneasily. Like . . . like something bad is going to happen, and if I don’t grab life and really live it as much as I can, love Lou totally, then . . . I won’t have enough time, I’ll lose my chance forever.

That night, Kevin was surprised when he came back from the bathroom and opened his bedroom door just before midnight, to see Lou lying face down on his bed, naked. She smiled, “Surprise”, and he shut the door quickly behind him, making sure to lock it this time. “Lou – are you nuts, lying there naked like that after what happened last night?”

“I’m not naked,” she smirked. “I’m wearing this,” she added, pointing over her shoulder toward her brand new birth control patch. Remembering that the counselors had warned her to use a backup method for the first week, she held up a small cardboard box and rattled it. “And you won’t be naked either, you can wear one of these,” she said naughtily. Kevin’s arousal was already agonizing, but he stayed on the other side of the room.

“Well? What are you doing all the way over there?” she demanded.

Kevin winced a little, but kept his own voice steady as he pulled a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from his drawer, and tossed them to her.

“I think what Jed said today makes sense.”

“What?”

Kevin swallowed hard. “I think we should wait a little longer.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Lou said, astonished. “We’ve been leading up to this for a month. Heck, we started it last night. What does what Jed thinks matter?”

“Put on the shirt and shorts, please,” he pleaded, still looking away from her.

After a moment she told him, “Okay, Kevin, you can turn around now.”

Kevin turned back around. Damn it, he thought desperately. She still looks so beautiful, even in my shirt and boxers. Her big eyes were looking at him, obviously puzzled.

“Kevin, I’ve been living here for a month. We’ve known each other for two years. How is it rushing things to take it to the next level? To do what’s natural?”

“I thought we’d wait until next week,” he mumbled, looking embarrassed.

“What’s next week, Kevin?”

“Junior Prom,” he said, blushing. “I know I never asked you. But will you go with me, and let me take you someplace special afterwards?”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“Lou, what’s the matter?”

She brushed the tears away. “It’s just really sweet of you, Kevin, but I can’t afford . . .”

“The dress?” he finished for her. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he said eagerly. He stooped under the bed and took out a flat box, handing it to her.

“I saw you looking at it in the shop window a week ago, and when you were in having your exam today Jed took me over and I bought it.”

She ran her fingers over the short ivory silk chiffon dress, embellished with tiny silver and gold beading, with tiered ruffles falling from a chiffon wrapped empire waistline. “I love it,” she whispered. “But it was expensive –“

“I have money saved. Don’t worry. If you want to go, I can afford the tickets and a hotel room . . .”

Lou nodded. “Let’s wait until prom night, then,” she agreed, standing up and kissing him.

Chapter Four

Lou sat up sleepily in the hotel room bed, dazed. She was alone . . . for a moment she wondered if she was dreaming. The bathroom light was on and the door was shut; Kevin must have woken her when he shut it. She saw her beautiful prom dress lying across a chair, near Kevin’s tuxedo, and remembered, with a happy flush, the events of the evening. She lay back against the pillows, reliving every moment, from visiting her mother at the hospice in their fancy clothes, to the first dance, all the way to the last dance. Then going up in the elevator, clinging to one another, and straight to the bed, where they’d made love over and over again, for hours, until collapsing, exhausted, in each other’s arms. She glanced at the clock . . . four o’clock in the morning.

Her attention was drawn by noise from the bathroom . . . Kevin’s voice. She called out, “What, honey?”

When he didn’t answer, and his muffled voice kept coming from the other room, she got up, curiously, and tapped on the door.

“Kevin? I can’t hear you, baby.”

The voice stilled, and she heard the sound of papers rustling frantically.

She tapped again on the door, smiling. “What the heck are you up to in there?” she laughed.

The door opened and he stood, looking distracted, in the doorway.

“What is it?” he said, his voice strained.

“You were talking to me,” she said, surprised.

“No, I wasn’t,” he answered, his face evasive.

Lou looked confused. “I thought I heard you talking,” she said uncertainly.

“It wasn’t me,” he said, haltingly, before he swooped her up abruptly in his arms, covering her mouth with his own, and carried her back to bed. She forgot the incident as he lowered himself down on her, and almost put it from her thoughts for an hour afterwards as they rediscovered their passion over again. But something nagged at the back of her mind, and it only was heightened by his distracted, odd expression as he desperately made love to her.

When he finally fell asleep, she stroked his troubled face. Something had been different about him after he came out of the bathroom, she thought. But why?

She slipped out of the bed and padded to the bathroom, and as she washed her hands, she noticed that a pad of hotel paper had been jammed into the wastebasket. Hesitating a moment, she drew it from the garbage and glanced at it.

Lou sat on the edge of the tub, flipping the pages over, slowly at first, then more nervously and quickly. Every inch of the paper, front and back, was covered with handwriting she’d never seen before, slanted backwards, cramped, and erratic. She tried to read the writing, but . . . the words were disjointed, nonsensical.

She glanced up, troubled. She shook her head to clear it, and placed the pad back in the garbage. What does this mean? she thought, confused. Was he doing drugs in here? Was he high?

Lou glanced around the bathroom, but there was no sign of drug paraphernalia. She opened the medicine cabinet, but of course it was empty. But she knew, in her heart, there was no explanation for his odd behavior, other than drugs. Her heart ached at the thought. Oh, Kevin, she thought sadly, shaking her head. But he’s never done drugs before, and we spend every minute together. Maybe . . . maybe he was just nervous about making love and took something to help him get past it, she thought dubiously. I’ll talk to him about it in the morning. She opened the door to the bathroom, but didn’t shut off the light right away. As the artificial light fell across the bed, she stood looking at the love of her life, his face still troubled even in sleep. Her love for him overwhelmed her, as she watched him restlessly tossing in the bed, and she rushed to his side.

“I’m here, baby,” she whispered soothingly into his ear, holding him. His arms crept around her, and she kissed him gently. “Whatever’s wrong, we’ll face it together, I promise,” she whispered to him.

Late that morning, Lou woke to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. She tiptoed to the bathroom and hesitantly turned the knob. “Kevin?” she called.

He stuck his head out of the shower, grinning happily. “Hey. What are you doing all the way over there?” he teased, and she smiled, thinking of her own words the week before.

“How are you this morning?” she asked, stepping into the bathroom.

“Great,” he laughed, pulling her by the arm into the shower with him, drawing her t-shirt up over her head and throwing it onto the floor. He pulled her close for a kiss, when she pushed him back a little, looking in his eyes. They seemed clear and bright . . .

“What is it?” he asked, running his hands over her wet, slickened body. “You’re looking at me funny.”

“Kevin, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything feels perfect to me,” he said, backing her to the wall and wrapping her leg around his waist.

“Honey, I’m serious,” she said, lowering her leg and shutting the water off. “You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”

“I know. I also know we have to check out at noon, so let’s get all the use out of this hotel room we can, what do you say?”

He turned the water back on and moved closer, and she pushed the doubt from her mind. Maybe I’m imagining things, she thought, sighing deeply as his mouth traveled down her wet neck. He’s fine, she convinced herself, as the steam enveloped their bodies.

The next day, Lou and Kevin walked hand in hand into her mother’s room at the hospice.

“Hi, Mom,” she greeted the small woman in the bed, setting a vase of flowers on the table. She glanced furtively at her mother’s enormous dark eyes in her sunken, gaunt face.

“Hi, Mrs. Boggs,” Kevin piped up.

Mrs. Boggs, despite her obvious exhaustion, smiled at the pair. “So,” she whispered. “How was prom?”

They blushed and looked at each other, clasping hands.

“That good, huh?” Mrs. Boggs joked weakly. “I hope you didn’t worry your father by getting in too late.”

Lou studiously rearranged the flowers, then lightly answered, “No, we didn’t worry him.”

“Has he said when he’s going to visit?”

“Sorry, Mom, he hasn’t mentioned that.”

“I know he’s busy,” Mrs. Boggs said, fretfully. “But . . . I wish he would visit more often. I haven’t seen him in almost a month, and when he came last he hardly stayed an hour.”

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Lou comforted.

“Well, you look wonderful, Louise. I’m so glad you’re having such a wonderful junior year.”

Lou and Kevin smiled at each other, bashfully.

“I wanted to tell you something. I called a lawyer to draw up some papers for me.”

Lou sat next to her mother, and gently stroked her hands. “Mmm hmm,” she said absently.

“Louise, this is important. I’ve put all my savings into trust for you, for when I go.”

“Mom, we don’t have to talk about this,” Lou cried.

“I want you to know you don’t have to worry about money. You’ll have it when you’re eighteen, and your father will manage it until then. And I’ve named him your guardian in my will, of course.”

Lou froze a moment, then forced a smile to her face. “That’s great, Mom,” she said softly.

“I know. I can’t tell you what a comfort it is to me to have that taken care of, to know you’ll be well cared for.”

Lou smiled back at her mother, but couldn’t find any words.

As they walked back through the hall after their visit, Kevin pulled Lou to a stop in the lobby. “Lou, I know you don’t want your mother to worry. But this is getting serious. She’s named your stepfather your guardian, and put him in charge of her money. Lou, if she knew the truth –“

“But she doesn’t,” Lou cut him off, firmly. “I don’t care about the money, and once I’m eighteen, guardian or not he has no power over me. Besides, he doesn’t give a flying leap what I do, or where I do it. I won’t need to worry about him anymore.”

“Lou –“

“Kevin. It means more to me that she dies thinking I’m okay, than anything in this world. I’ll never destroy that peace of mind for her. I’ll never tell her he touched me or hurt me, and the subject is closed.”

They were startled by a buzzing alarm, and the staff rushing into Mrs. Boggs’ room, as a code was called. “Mom,” Lou whimpered, and rushed to the doorway, where Kevin held her back as the staff worked over her mother’s still body. When, after long minutes, they stopped CPR and pulled up the sheet, Lou ran from the hallway and out of the building.

Kevin caught up with her, leaning against the wall, her breath heaving.

“It’s over,” she wept, clinging to him. “Thank God, she’s at peace, and she never knew,” she sobbed, as he held her tight.

At half past seven the night of Mrs. Boggs’ funeral, Jed tapped on Kevin’s door. His brother came to the door and opened it. “Come on in, Jed,” he said tiredly.

Jed came in cautiously and looked over at Lou sprawled across his brother’s bed, a pair of his pajamas swimming on her, her face stained with tears.

“How’s she doing?” Jed asked, pityingly.

“Really well, actually. She cried a little before she fell asleep, but mainly she’s relieved.”

“Really?”

Kevin nodded, incredulously. “I know, it’s surprising, but she saw her mother suffering so much. She’s just glad her mom is out of pain now, but she misses her so much.”

“What’s going on with her stepfather?”

Kevin shook his head. “Well, you saw him at the funeral,” he said, his voice shaky with repressed rage. “Acting like he cared about Lou or her mother. I wanted to kill him when he went to hug Lou.”

“But is she going to go to live someplace else now that her mother’s dead?” Jed persisted.

“I don’t know. Mr. Boggs said that he wants her to come home. I don’t know why he was so insistent about it all of a sudden.”

Jed looked worried. “You said her mother put money in trust for Lou?”

“Yeah, a lot I think. Why?”

“Well, little bro, he might only get to run the trust if she’s living with him.”

Kevin looked upset, and protested, “She’ll never go home to him. She hates him, and it wouldn’t be safe.”

“She may not have a choice,” Jed worried.

“I’ll never let that happen,” Kevin said, his face strained. “I’ll kill him first.”

Jed looked sharply at Kevin. “Watch that kind of talk, little brother. There’s got to be ways around this that make sense. Let’s talk about it when I get back tomorrow, okay? I’m taking Paul to a peace demonstration. He’s been waiting outside for five minutes already, I got to get out there. Stay cool until then, promise me?”

Kevin looked away absently, but nodded slightly.

“Okay, then. I promise, I’ll help you two however I can, but you won’t do Lou any good by talking crazy, Kevin.”

Kevin’s temper flared. “I’m not crazy,” he said loudly, and Lou stirred on the bed. Kevin quickly went to her side and stroked her hair gently, and she stilled.

“Kevin, promise me you won’t leave this room until tomorrow. Stay here with her, she needs you. Promise me,” Jed insisted.

His younger brother nodded, curling up around Lou’s sleeping body. “She needs me,” he repeated robotically, bending over and pressing his lips to the back of her head.

Jed nodded uncertainly and headed out, looking back at his brother and Lou. I wish Mom and Dad were going to be here tonight, he thought, wavering by the door. Seeing Kevin still protectively huddled over Lou, he felt reassured and headed toward the door, and out to Paul’s car.

Kevin got out of his bed and went nervously to the window, looking out at his brother. He ran his fingers through his hair and paced back and forth, his arms crossed over his chest, trying to stay calm.

Chapter Five

Jed and Paul shouldered their way through the bar, crowded with fellow demonstrators. The locals eyed them irritably. “Damn college kids,” a few muttered into their beer. Ordering two beers, Jed and Paul carried them over to a table where the other anti-war demonstrators were gathered. The other students were loudly discussing the peace rally, much to the irritation of some of the nearby local patrons. Jed sat quietly, glancing at his watch.

“What is it, Jed?” Paul whispered out of the side of his mouth.

“Nothing. Just I don’t feel like being here late, is all. I think we ought to head home.” Jed couldn’t stop thinking about his brother and Lou. As if on cue, his cell phone rang, and he clicked it open. Unable to hear in the din of the bar, he stepped to the exit.

“Kevin?” he asked, unable to understand the torrent of words he heard on the phone.

“I need you to come home, Jed,” Kevin said, his voice panicky.

“Calm down, Kev. What’s going on? Where’s Lou?”

“She’s asleep. She doesn’t know I’m calling. Jed, I need help,” Kevin pleaded.

“What is it? Where are you?”

“I’m home. But I can’t make them stop talking,” Kevin said, crying now. “I’m writing and writing and they won’t stop it.”

Jed felt his blood running cold. Paul came out and stood in the doorway, questioning, but Jed waved him to silence.

“Kevin, who’s talking?”

“All of them this time.”

“Kevin, who are you talking about?”

He heard the phone being put down a moment and Kevin rambling and ranting at . . . at who?

“Kevin!” Jed shouted. “Stay with me, buddy, who are you talking to?

Slowly, Kevin started to answer. “The voices. They talk to me in my head. They tell me to do things.”

Trying to keep his voice steady, Jed asked, “How long have you been hearing them, Kevin?”

“I don’t know. A few months. They - they usually stop talking if I write down what they say. Or when I’m with Lou, they’re quieter usually. But . . . they’ve been getting louder. I can’t say no to them much longer, Jed, I can’t. I’m scared.”

“Kevin, you know this is just your imagination, you don’t have to do what they say,” Jed said desperately.

“No, they’re real,” Kevin insisted. “Sometimes they come out of the T.V. or the computer . . . sometimes they’re just in my head. But I don’t want to do what they’re telling me. I just don’t think I can help it,” he whimpered, crying again.

“Have you been doing any drugs, Kevin?” Jed asked, terrified at his brother’s words, not knowing what he wanted the answer to be.

But Kevin had dropped the phone, and Jed heard him talking randomly, answering someone whose voice Jed couldn’t hear.

“God,” Jed whispered, and Paul leaned in, grasping Jed by the arm.

“What is it?” Paul said, his hands on Jed’s face. Some drunken locals were tumbling from the bar and saw the two standing close together by the doorway.

“Something’s up with my brother,” Jed said. “Can you go get our jackets and let’s get out of here? I’ve got to stay out here and try to get my parents on the cell,” he continued, dialing frantically.

As Paul disappeared into the bar, Jed lost the signal from the cell and cursed, walking around the side of the bar to try to get a better signal again. The men poked each other in the side and followed.

“What happened to your boyfriend, man?” one of them sneered, confronting Jed aggressively.

Jed put down the phone and looked at the hardened, hate-filled faces confronting him. Five of them, he thought, strangely calm.

“We’ll be on our way now, okay?” Jed said, carefully, not meeting any of their eyes directly. “Not lookin’ for any trouble.”

“Well, maybe it found you anyway,” the leader said, spitting angrily on the ground.

Jed looked back behind him.

“Noplace to run back here, missy,” the man snarled.

Jed tried to brush past, but the man punched him in the stomach, doubling him over. As he knelt, trying to catch his breath, he sensed them surrounding him, coming ever closer . . .

Lou jerked awake at the sound of the phone ringing in the living room outside Kevin’s door.

Seeing Kevin soundly sleeping beside her, she pushed his shoulder. “Kevin, the phone. You should get it, it must be important this time of night.”

Kevin blinked and nodded, dazed, and staggered out to the living room, sleepily answering the phone.

“Paul?” he said, confused. “What is it?”

Lou stood in the doorway, concerned.

Kevin dropped the phone and sank to the couch, his head in his hands. Frightened, Lou jumped forward and picked up the phone.

“Paul, what’s happening?”

“We were at a bar near the demonstration. Jed went outside to use his cell phone, and a bunch of guys jumped him. They’re taking him to the hospital,” Paul said. “I don’t know Jed’s parents’ cell phone number –“

Lou heard the ring of fear and desperation in Paul’s voice. “They’re out of town at a convention - - Paul, we’ll get a hold of them. I’ll see you at the hospital, hang in there, okay?”

She hung up and put her hand on Kevin’s shoulder. He was shaking, and she took his face in her hands.

“Kevin, you have to get dressed. I’ll drive your car down to the hospital, you’re too upset,” she said gently.

He looked up at her, his eyes childlike and confused. Lou bit her lip and went to his room, pulling some jeans, a shirt, and socks from the drawer. She returned and helped him get them on. Finding his sneakers, she knelt in front of him and put the shoes on, tying them for him. He seemed to be in shock.

“Paul said he doesn’t know if Jed will make it,” Kevin said, woodenly. Lou quickly stood and went back into the room, pulling on her own clothes quickly and grabbing Kevin’s car keys and cell phone.

“Honey, we have to go,” she urged. “Please,” she begged, pulling on his arm.

Lou, Kevin and Paul sat in the waiting room as Jed’s surgery dragged on. Lou fought her own tears – she’d come to think of the kind nineteen year old as a big brother herself since she’d started dating Kevin – but she was focused on keeping Kevin and Paul from falling apart.

She handed Paul a juice from the machine and pressed his arm comfortingly. The handsome twenty year old took it, but sat ashen faced without drinking it. Lou glanced over at Kevin, who had been pacing for the better part of two hours in the corner, refusing to be comforted or sit down.

Approaching him for the tenth time, Lou took his arm gently, but he jerked away, startled.

“Kevin, please sit down and try to drink something, try to stay calm –“

Chewing nervously on his thumbnail, Kevin hardly seemed to be hearing her, turning his head only slightly toward her. He muttered something, but before Lou could ask him to repeat it, she saw Kevin and Jed’s parents getting off the elevator.

“Thank God,” she whispered to herself. “They’re finally here.”

The Millers went first to the nurses’ station, and Lou saw Jean cry out in fear and Mark hang his head at the news.

A few moments later, Kevin’s parents approached the nurses’ station, bewildered and shocked.

“They said . . . they said he may not pull through, those animals . . . dragged him behind their car,” choked Mark. “Somebody’s going to pay for this,” he snarled, and ignoring the warning sign “NO CELL PHONES” directly over his head, he dialed the Chief of Police.

“This is Councilman Miller, get me Chief Boggs,” he snapped.

Lou’s face went immobile, but she stayed focused on Kevin.

“That’s my son that was beaten and almost killed tonight out at Mahoney’s on Route 12. What’s being done about it? I want them caught and charged with everything that - - “ he paused.

“The District Attorney’s there? That’s good,” Mark commented, listening again. “Put her on.”

“Rachel, it’s Mark Miller. I hope you’re planning on charging these animals who attacked my son with -“

Mark paused for several moments, then looked confused. “What do you mean, hate crime, Rachel?”

Lou glanced over at Paul, who was sitting blankly, his hands clenching Jed’s jacket against his chest.

Mark clicked off the phone after another few moments and approached Paul in a fury.

“District Attorney Dunne is saying Jed got beaten up because he’s gay,” Mark seethed. “You’re his best friend, Paul, is that true? Is he gay? Damn it –“

Paul looked up, and met Mark’s eyes directly, unashamed. “It’s true. I love your son,” he said clearly. Lou caught her breath at the quiet intensity of Paul’s emotion, buried and hidden so long, in the simple words.

Mark staggered back, revulsion etched on his face. “Mark,” Jean started, weakly. “It doesn’t matter, not now, for God’s sake, he may be dying, let’s –“

Confusion and anger playing over his face, Mark shook his head violently. “Not Jed,” he whispered. “Not Jed, he’s . . . he’s always been the good son, the one who did everything right. Football, baseball, straight A’s in school. This can’t be true,” he said, overwhelmed with disappointment in his older son.

Lou saw Kevin’s face when he heard Mark call Jed ‘the good son’, and she tightened her hold on his arm supportively.

Mark turned on Paul, viciously. “You did this. You turned him into this,” he accused wildly.

Sitting stoically, still clutching his lover’s jacket, Paul sat stoically. “All I did to him was love him,” he said. “And I don’t really care what you think about it; all I care about right now is him,” he finished, his voice catching on the last words, before he struggled and regained control, burying his face in the jacket.

Mark stood staring a moment, then grabbed his wife’s hand and pulled the sobbing woman to her feet. “You did this,” he muttered at Paul. “This is you, not him. And if I keep you away from him, he’ll go back to being my son.”

Paul looked up, alarmed, and Mark nodded, throwing down the gauntlet. He dragged his wife to the nurses’ station. Lou, Kevin and Paul watched as Mark shouted orders at the head nurse, pointing in the direction of their little group. Telling the nurse that Paul was not family, and wasn’t to be allowed in to see Jed when he woke up. Lou went pale with pity, looking at Paul’s face.

Mark dragged a hysterical Jean to the elevator, and the nurse reluctantly headed over to them. “I got a call from the OR a minute ago. He’s out of surgery, and in Recovery, and the doctor will be down to see the family . . . his father and mother wouldn’t stay to talk to the doctor. They said he could talk to Mr. Miller’s brother . . .” she paused, glancing back and forth.

“That’s his brother,” Kevin said, pointing to Paul.

“I’m sorry, then, sir . . . but Mr. Miller’s father told me you aren’t family,” she said awkwardly to Kevin. “When he comes out of anesthesia, he can only be seen by a family member. “

Kevin nodded. “Can I stay out here at least and wait?”

“Of course,” she answered sympathetically, turning back toward the nurses’ station.

Paul whispered, “Thank you, Kevin.”

Lou’s heart was bursting with pride in Kevin, her eyes filling with tears. “You did the right thing,” she whispered. “He needs Paul most of all now.” Kevin nodded, watching Paul hurry down the hallway toward the ICU.

Chapter Six

Near two o’clock in the morning, Lou was curled up on a chair in the waiting room, dozing, when she awoke with a start at Kevin’s tap on her shoulder. “Lou?” he whispered hoarsely.

“What is it, Kevin?”

“Jed just died,” Kevin said piteously, his hands shaking and tears flowing down.

Lou clutched his arm.

He shook off her arm and backed away, then turned and ran to the elevator. Lou drew back, confused, as Kevin started running toward the exit. She caught him standing outside his car, leaning against it, crying silently.

“I have your keys,” she reminded him gently. “Let me drive you home, honey. We should tell your parents in person.”

“I don’t want to go home,” he said rebelliously. “I don’t care how they find out. To hell with them. It’s because of them I wasn’t there, I didn’t get to say good bye.”

Lou slipped her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his back, comfortingly. “I’m so sorry for that, honey,” she whispered. He turned and caught her up in his arms, sobbing. She was frightened when his emotion didn’t abate after several minutes, and he slid to her feet, hysterical.

“Kevin, it’s okay, let it out,” she said soothingly, kneeling beside him and rocking him. But she was alarmed at the intensity of his grief, his anger. Finally, his weeping slowed and they sat on the ground beside the car, clasped together.

Wiping his face, she kissed him gently and whispered, “Let me take you home now, please, Kevin?” He nodded silently and she helped him to his feet, unlocking the passenger door for him. He sat inside and shut the door as she ran to the other side.

As she started the car he looked out the window, and she shot a look at him quickly, her face worried. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “You just lost your mother – you have noplace to live, your stepfather . . .” he trailed off. “You’ve been through so much and here I am falling apart on you.”

She took her right hand from the wheel and stroked his arm reassuringly. “Honey, that’s different. This was such a shock, of course it’s hard for you to handle it. I was expecting my mother to die for a long time, I was prepared. Relieved even, since she was in so much pain. There’s no sense comparing yourself to me, I’m –“ she paused. “I’m used to things,” she said softly. He nodded and looked over at her as she drove carefully down the highway toward his house.

“You’re so strong,” he whispered. “I’m not half as strong as you. You deserve somebody better –“

“Stop that talk, Kevin. I wasn’t too strong when we got together first, now was I? I was a mess. And you stood by me and got me through it. Now it’s my turn, and I intend to be here for you, face this with you. Understand?” she demanded sharply. He looked down. She pulled over. “Promise me, Kevin. Let me face this with you, I want to face any troubles we have - together, promise?”

He leaned over and pulled her close, and they sat together in the dark, somewhat comforted, if only for the time being.

It was close to three in the morning by the time Lou pulled in to Kevin’s driveway. All the lights were out, and they looked apprehensively at the darkened house.

“Should we wake them up to tell them?” Lou said doubtfully.

Kevin shook his head. “I can’t,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I can’t, Lou.”

She hastened to soothe him yet again. “Okay. We can wait and tell them in the morning,” she reassured him. They got out of the car and he pulled her around to the back, where he’d left his window open, and they slipped in together quietly. Lou found herself helping him get ready for bed, as he was still shaking and fumbling from shock. Helping him into bed, she turned to take out one of his t-shirts from a drawer to wear to bed. Slipping out of her clothes quickly, she pulled the shirt on over her head and climbed into bed with him, holding him tightly.

As the night wore on, Lou kept holding him and keeping watch over him, worried, as he tossed and turned fitfully, mumbling incoherently in his sleep. Finally toward dawn she dropped into an exhausted sleep in his arms.

Chapter Seven

They were startled awake late the next morning by the door being thrown open and Mark storming in. “Kevin,” he shouted. “Both of you, get up and get dressed and in the living room. Now.”

The two confused, sleepy teenagers obeyed and appeared in the living room, stopping short at the sight of Police Chief Boggs sitting on the couch.

“Hello, Louise, Kevin,” Boggs said abruptly. “I came to let Kevin’s parents know Louise has been living here at their expense for the last several weeks. Apparently they didn’t notice they’ve had a houseguest for all this time,” he said, his eyes flickering to the Millers. “At any rate, I apologized to them and I’m here to take you home.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you,” Kevin said, furiously.

Boggs appraised Kevin coldly. “Your parents have been through enough in the last couple days, son. Don’t make this worse with a needless scene. I’m Louise’s father now. She has to come home with me.”

“You’re not her father. And don’t call me “son” either,” Kevin snapped. “I said you’re not taking her away, I won’t let you.” He protectively held Lou behind him.

“I don’t think your parents are going to agree to letting you two live together under their roof, even if I gave my permission. Which I don’t,” Boggs retorted.

“Mom, Dad, please,” Kevin appealed to them. “Let her stay.”

“This isn’t a hotel, Kevin,” Mark said, shaking his head. “I’ve . . . I guess I’ve been blind to a hell of a lot about you two boys all this time. Well that ends today. Apparently I failed with Jed,“ he said, as Kevin flinched visibly – “but I’m getting control with you. No live-in girlfriends in this house. She’s getting out now. If she has things she’s keeping here, we’ll send them after her.”

Turning frantically to his mother, Kevin pleaded. “Mom, please. Please. She can’t go back with him. He’s only asking because of the money Lou’s mom left for her, and he’ll – “ he looked frantically at Lou, whose eyes were squeezed shut with terror. “He’ll hurt her, Mom, please don’t make her go home.”

Jean looked helplessly at Kevin, but Mark intervened. “I said no, Kevin. Whatever’s going on with Lou and her father, that’s not our business to solve. Lou, Chief, I’m sorry, but I’m asking you to please leave now. My wife and I don’t need this extra stress right now.”

Kevin became agitated, his hands twisting, and he backed up, keeping Lou behind him. “You don’t need the stress? You didn’t even bother to stay at the hospital to be with Jed last night. You don’t care about him at all-“

“Shut up, Kevin,” warned his father.

“I won’t shut up,” Kevin shouted. “I won’t shut up any more. That’s all I’ve done all my life. Lou’s the only thing I have to live for now, I won’t let you take her away.”

“Kevin,” Lou whispered, shocked. “Please, it’ll be okay. I promise –“

“It can’t be okay if you go back there. He’ll hurt you again, I know he will, Lou.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Boggs said, wearily. He got up and opened the front door, gesturing to two officers waiting outside. “I thought you might put up a fight, Louise. You’re coming home, like it or not.”

The officers came in, and Boggs advanced on Lou, grabbing her by the arm as the officers looked on. Lou glanced back at Kevin and, seeing there was no escape, started toward the car.

A shattered Kevin, snapping, charged forward and grabbed Boggs by the collar. “I said you’re not taking her,” he snarled, turning on the older man in a fury.

The officers jumped forward and grabbed Kevin, pulling him off Boggs and subduing him on the floor as Lou begged, “Please don’t hurt him. I’ll come with you, just don’t hurt him.”

The officers hauled a handcuffed, screaming Kevin off the floor, and dragged him, thrashing and kicking, toward the police car. Standing and brushing himself off, a furious Boggs grabbed Lou by the arm and nodded to the Millers, propelling her toward the door. “Your son will be charged with assaulting an officer, Councilman.”

“Chief, please. Please don’t arrest him, he’s . . . he’s not himself today, he’s been upset by this thing with his brother -- please just –“ Jean pleaded, but Boggs ignored her and slammed the door shut behind him.

“I’ll call our lawyer,” Mark sighed, wearily heading to the phone. “Last thing we need is Boggs suing us over this. Maybe he can recommend a criminal lawyer to get this mess Kevin’s made hushed up and dealt with.” Jean looked after her husband with loathing in her face, but said nothing.

Boggs stopped the car in his driveway and cursed as Lou bolted from her side, running toward the street. He grabbed her by the arm and roughly hauled her back toward the house.

“I’m not any happier about this than you are,” he snarled, “but you’re staying with me until I get what’s coming to me from your mother.”

Panting with the effort of dragging her toward the house, he wrapped an arm around her neck and unlocked the front door. Shoving it open, he hurled the slight girl inside the entranceway, where she fell to her knees. He slammed the door behind him.

“You can’t keep me here,” she said evenly, looking up at him. “I won’t cooperate with whatever the hell it is you want me to do so you can get your damn money. I hate you.”

“You’ll do more than cooperate, Louise.”

“The hell I will,” she said, getting up and warily backing away from him.

“You’ll stay here. You’ll tell my co-trustee from the bank that you’re happy here and well cared for. You’ll keep this place clean and picked up. And you’ll give me whatever else I ask for,” he finished, his eyes moving over her leeringly.

“You must be out of your mind if you think for a minute –“

“How long do you think that soft little boyfriend of yours is going to last in jail?” he interrupted. At the look on her face, he nodded.

“He’s not like you, Louise. I know how much punishment you can take,” he said, with begrudging respect. “That Kevin, though. He’s not strong enough to make it in jail. Not for more than about an hour. He’ll fall apart, you must see that.”

“What are you saying?”

He took off his jacket and hung it in the closet. “I don’t know how much clearer I can be. I’ll spell it out if you need me to. I’m supposed to meet with the co-trustee in a week, and I need you to be there and play along. If you do, I’ll drop the charges against Kevin Miller. If you don’t, I’ll pull some strings and see he gets charged as an adult with the highest charges allowable.”

Her face flushed. “He barely touched you. He was just trying to protect me –“

“That’s not how it’ll look in court, Louise. Not after I testify, and my officers testify.”

She looked down, her face suddenly tired. “You win,” she whispered. “I’ll cooperate.”

Boggs nodded approvingly. “That’s my girl.” She winced as he approached her, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her close, kissing her and forcing her mouth open, his hands groping her through her clothes.

“Please, don’t make me do this,” she begged, but he took her by the shoulder and propelled her toward the bedroom. He pushed her backwards onto his bed. The bed my mother slept in, she thought, agonized. Their wedding picture on the wall.

Boggs took his gun out of his holster and placed it on the nightstand, and pulled off his belt, and unbuttoned his pants, kneeling next to her on the bed. Lou was trembling as he reached for her, bending down and kissing her neck almost tenderly, then sitting back up and sliding her jeans off. She laid passively, having steeled herself not to fight back, for Kevin’s sake . . . she tried to pretend she was somewhere else, someone else . . . but when he moaned against her neck, “I’ve waited for this for a long time –“, something in her revolted abruptly.

“So have I,” screamed Lou, her hand closing over the gun on the bedside table, and in a single motion, she cocked the gun, aimed, and pulled the trigger. There was a flash of light – an explosion of blood all around her – before he slumped lifelessly down on her.

Chapter Eight

Kevin sat in the back seat of his parents’ car sullenly as they pulled into his driveway. His parents had bailed him out of jail, and he had been released to their custody. But he hadn’t stopped hectoring his father the entire ride home to go to Lou’s house and make sure she was all right. Mark stubbornly refused to listen; as they went into the house, he paused and turned to his son.

“Kevin, I know this is hard for you to understand. But I think Lou is a bad influence on you, and I don’t intend to get involved in any dispute with the Police Chief either. I don’t want you to see her again. If that means military school, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Jean burst out, “Mark. Can’t you reconsider, Kevin needs a friend right now-“

Her husband stared at her until she dropped her gaze. Mark took all the car keys from where they were kept by the door and stormed out of the room. Jean looked helplessly at her son, then followed her husband upstairs.

Once his parents were asleep, Kevin got his backpack, stuffing it as full as he could with his and Lou’s clothes, his latest notebook. He pocketed his cash card. His parents had taken his car keys, but he had Lou’s bus pass. He glanced at the room he’d lived in for sixteen years . . . where he’d tasted love for the first time with Lou. But this was his past, and Lou was his future, he thought, and opened the window to make his escape.

The Chief’s car was parked in the driveway, the lights were off in the house. Kevin hesitated, not sure how to proceed. Looking down, he saw with surprise that the door was unlocked. Maybe I can slip in and find her room.

He crept cautiously down the hallway, wincing when a floorboard creaked – and then jumping when he heard Lou’s voice sobbing, “Who’s there?”

The terror in her voice tore at his heart, and he shoved open the door. Shocked, he saw the girl he loved sitting splattered with blood on the middle of the bed, her head down on her knees.

“What did he do to you,” he breathed, rushing around the bed, and reeling at the sight of Boggs lying on his back in a pool of his own blood – his face shattered. Glancing back at Lou, he saw the gun still clutched in her hand.

“He tried to rape me, Kevin,” she whispered brokenly. “I had to make him stop, I had to. Please don’t be angry,” she said, her voice and face childlike and vacant.

Kevin stood dumbfounded for a moment, then gathered the sheet around her. She dropped the gun and allowed him to carry her silently from the room. Passing her room, he stopped and went back, setting her on the bed a moment. He pulled clothes randomly from the drawers and helped her into them, then helped her up and down the stairs.

Spotting Boggs’ keys by the doorway, he grabbed them and they raced to Boggs’ car. Kevin pulled out of the driveway.

He pulled out, reaching out to grasp her hand. She wept into her other hand, helplessly.

Kevin seethed with rage, rage at Boggs, at his parents for not listening and letting him help her. He pulled in to a nearby emergency room.

“Why are we here?” she asked numbly.

“You need to see a doctor right away, he hurt you.”

She looked alarmed. “I don’t want a doctor,” she said, her eyes frightened. “Please, Kevin –“

“Lou,” he said, taking her face between his hands. “I want you to get taken care of. I won’t let anything happen to you, not ever again, I promise. Please trust me.”

“I said no,” she snapped. “I don’t want the doctors asking a lot of questions.”

Kevin looked confused.

Lou looked dully at him, her face exhausted. “They’ll ask who did this. Where all this blood came from. None of it’s mine. I didn’t fight him, Kevin. There’s no proof he forced me.”

“Of course he did, nobody will think you did this willingly with him.”

Her eyes closed.

“I didn’t fight back. There’s no bruises. I have no proof he forced me.”

“You were just scared.”

Lou looked down. “I was scared,” she agreed. Scared for you, she thought. I was scared of what he was going to do to you, Kevin. I let him touch me to protect you . . . but I can’t tell the police that, can’t let you know – it would kill you. But then what will I tell them when they ask why I didn’t fight? she thought, wretchedly.

“But what if nobody believes me?” she said, her hands shaking. “I’ll have to go to jail –“

“No.”

She looked back up. “What?”

“Come with me. Run away from all this mess, come live with me. My parents are sending me to military school to keep me away from you. If there’s any chance you might get in trouble for this - - I can’t live without you. Please, Lou,” he urged.

Lou nodded weakly, as he started the car again. You’re all I have to live for, Kevin, she thought. I only want to be with you, and if this is what it takes, then I’ll go along.

Chapter One

Kevin drove through a drive-through automatic teller and took out all the cash in his account.

“Where are we going, Kevin?” Lou asked.

He paused a moment. “I have an idea. We could go for a while to my parents’ house in the Hamptons.”

“I don’t know, Kevin –“

He looked over at her, and reached and stroked her face. “Just for a few weeks, at most. Just to get our bearings. They never go down this time of year, and if they do, they have a cleaning lady and a gardener go in first and get it ready.”

“But won’t they think to look there?”

Kevin saw the bus depot and pulled in suddenly. He pulled out his cellphone and stared at it.

“There’s GPS in this thing,” he noted.

She looked alarmed. “Then we’d better get rid of it, the police can track us through that. What are you doing?” she asked, confused.

He was checking the battery. “Battery’s fully charged,” he muttered. “Perfect. I’ll send them in the wrong direction,” he added, getting out of the car. Lou watched as he sidled up to a bus bound for Montreal, and surreptitiously flung his cell into the open baggage area.

He hurried back to the car. “If we head down to my parents’ house, we’ll be going the opposite way they’ll think we are, now.”

Lou nodded, tiredly.

“You look exhausted. Put your seat back and rest, honey, I know the way,” he said, heading toward the Taconic Parkway, southbound. She was asleep nearly before he finished the words, and he glanced sideways at her as they hurtled down the narrow old parkway, flanked on one side by sheer rock and on the other by a close guardrail.

His hands shook a little as he drove. She needs me to hold myself together. She needs me, he reminded himself.

Another voice echoed in his head. You can’t take care of her. You can’t even take care of yourself. Why don’t you just admit that you’re worthless and give up on her?

Kevin groaned softly, and tried to ignore the voice, turning up the radio a little and humming desperately. The other voices were back too . . . softer, though . . . maybe he could fight them down. He swerved a little and nearly brushed the guardrail, then focused.

Lou stirred in her sleep, restlessly.

Keep yourself together, Kevin, he warned himself. They’re trying to put these thoughts in your head. It’s a trick, they’re trying to control you. Don’t let them, he told himself desperately. But the unwanted voices kept coming, busily mumbling just loud enough to hear, as he kept driving into the dark night.

Lou woke up as the car pulled in to a garage and Kevin got out to close the garage door.

“Where are we?” she mumbled as he returned and opened the door for her.

“My parents’ house in East Hampton,” he said, leading her by the hand to the door to the house.

He opened the door with his key, and went to turn on the lights.

“Don’t,” she said, alarmed, stopping his hand. “Someone might see the lights.”

He smiled. “We’re not near anybody, Lou. None of the neighbors is close enough to see lights from here.”

Opening the freezer, he noted, “There’s still some stuff here from my parents’ fundraising party two weeks ago. Hungry?”

She nodded and he turned back to the freezer. “I’ll make you something. Make yourself at home.”

Lou hesitated. “It was a long ride(;) maybe we could go for a walk and stretch our legs?”

“Sure. There’s a private beach out back, we can go there and nobody’ll see us.”

They headed out hand in hand, as the dawn broke over the horizon, pink and bronze and gold, turning the sand and the tall grass silvery. Lou gasped as they clambered down the rocks toward the sandy beach.

“Kevin, it’s so beautiful,” she breathed. He watched as she breathed in the fresh, salty air.

She suddenly bent and took off her skirt and stripped off her shirt. He was startled as she kicked off her shoes and ran in her underwear down to the shore.

“Honey, it’s too cold out there,” he called after her, but she raced in up to her hips, splashing.

He kicked off his own shoes and ran after her. “Lou, it’s got a bad undertow sometimes, be careful,” he shouted.

He stood on the shore, transfixed, as she ran headlong into the foam-capped waves. Her face was alive and joyful as she met them, and they smashed down around her.

He pulled off his own shoes and socks and ran out to her, and she stood up as he reached her. “You’re freezing,” he admonished, touching her shivering face and brushing back her wet hair.

She shook her head, her teeth chattering. “Feels good,” she managed, water dripping down. “So clean.” But she let him lead her back onto shore.

“Let’s get you inside,” he said, but she refused, walking along in the water’s edge, still clad only in her underwear, the tide rushing along her feet, the warm breeze blowing past them and ruffling the tall grass a few yards away.

“I love it here. I haven’t felt so free in I don’t know when,” she said restlessly. She turned and slipped her arms around him, looking up into his eyes. The tide came in with a crash around their legs, and she pulled him close for a tender kiss on his mouth.

She felt him melting into her kiss, and his warmth passing from his body to hers as she pressed against him, then suddenly he pulled back.

“Kevin?” she said, uncertainly. “Don’t you want to kiss me?”

He swallowed. “I want to. It’s just – what happened to you yesterday – I don’t want to scare you.”

Tracing his face with her fingers, she shook her head. “Let’s get one thing straight. What happened yesterday is in the past. It’s a bad memory. That has nothing to do with what we have together, nothing. What we have together is beautiful,” she insisted, seeing his doubtful face. “It’s nothing like what he did. And I don’t intend to let him steal any more from me than he has.”

She pulled him down to the sand beside her, and stroked his arm, damp from the surf. “I want to have new memories, beautiful ones, to take those bad memories away,” she said huskily. He rolled over her, pushed up on his hands, and looked down at her in the dawning light.

“I still love you, Kevin,” she breathed, unbuttoning his shirt and locking her eyes with his. “I still only want you.”

They lived contentedly together in the big East Hampton mansion alone, sleeping comfortably in Kevin’s big double bed, wading in the ocean, and walking around the beautiful town, for three weeks. It was off-season, so jobs for teenagers were scarce. Somehow(,) Lou had talked her way into a part-time waitressing job at one of the local restaurants, where she earned enough in tips on the expensive meals the restaurant served, to keep them fed for the time being, as Kevin tended to the house and chores for them. They’d taken a weekend to drive and abandon Boggs’ car near the city and return on the train, and now walked as their means of transportation. One Monday morning, they went out to window shop along the fancy shops on the main street in town. On the way back, Lou smiled up at Kevin happily as they walked hand in hand in from town toward “their” house – only to have him stop her short, panicking.

Turning her head, she saw a team of gardeners working in the yard, pruning the enormous hydrangea and boxwood hedges that were scattered over the property. Kevin pulled her by the hand, and they quickly walked back toward town together.

“This means they’re coming down for a visit,” Kevin moaned, despondently. “It’s over, we can’t stay here. We’ll have to find someplace else.”

Reaching the little red-roofed old neo-Elizabethan library building at the corner of Main Street and Buell Lane, Lou tugged Kevin’s arm. “Baby, we can go in there and use the computer. Find someplace to crash for now,” she suggested. They went in to the library, which despite its tiny size and antique look on the outside, was fully equipped and modern on the inside.

“Let’s get online,” she whispered. They sat at the computer for the whole afternoon puzzling over what to do, until finally, Lou pointed to the screen. “That looks like something we could do. It looks kind of like Covenant House,” she added. She studied the picture of the director of the group runaway home in Long Island. “Emma Shannon,” she mused. The woman’s kind eyes arrested her attention, and Lou nodded, reading aloud to Kevin softly about the shelter’s services for youth ages fourteen to eighteen. “I think that looks good. And it’s reachable by train from here,” she added.

Kevin shifted uncomfortably. Things have been going so well with just me and Lou, he thought. He had no school, no parents, no pressure while living with her at the house, and though his voices were still tormenting him at times, he was able to function at this minimal level reasonably well. I don’t want to live with a bunch of other people, just Lou, he though worriedly, looking at the pictures of Ms. Shannon’s group home. I’m barely holding on even like this, he admitted to himself. Lou was busy working nights, when things were worst for him, but still he was finding it harder and harder to hide his troubles from Lou, even under these idealized conditions. The thought of being around other people terrified him.

Oblivious to Kevin’s turmoil, Lou was jotting the phone number and address down busily. “Let’s see if the gardeners are finished yet, the library’s closing,” she said. “We can grab our stuff and call this place, get a cab to the train station tonight if we hustle.” She glanced at Kevin’s saddened face.

“I know, baby,” she said softly, touching his face. “We’ve had a good time here, but we knew it couldn’t last. It’s something like this or the street, you know that.”

He nodded, miserably, but knew there was no other choice. Their little paradise living alone together couldn’t last forever, he knew, but he wasn’t sure he could hold himself together anywhere else.

Lou looked carefully into his eyes. Something wasn’t quite right with Kevin, but I can’t quite place it. He was so often vacant, distracted . . . maybe he didn’t want to be here with me, but has no choice now, she thought worriedly.

“Kevin, you know if you want to go home, tell them you didn’t know about what I did to my stepfather, maybe you won’t get in any trouble,” she said hesitantly. “You shouldn’t have to live like this if you . . . if you don’t want to anymore.”

Panic-stricken, he shook his head, pulling her close. “No,” he whispered desperately. “I don’t want to go home, please, Lou,” he pleaded. “Let me stay with you.”

Lou glanced around, as the librarian stared at them, and back at Kevin’s tearful face. “It’s okay,” she soothed him, quietly, like she would a crying child. “I just thought maybe you were getting tired of this.” He shook his head and she stroked his hair comfortingly, as the librarian looked on disapprovingly, glancing up at the clock pointedly.

Chapter Two

Waiting for Kevin, Lou sat on the edge of the flat roof of the residence, her legs dangling over the side, looking out over the grounds. She liked the group home so far, though she missed the freedom of living with Kevin at the beach. But living with other kids who had similar backgrounds to hers was surprisingly helpful to her. She fit in fine with these other children of abuse and neglect, and never had to feel ashamed or weird because she was different. She’d made good friends here; and she adored Emma and Sam, the couple who ran the center, and Dr. T.S. Hunter, an adolescent psychiatrist who came for group sessions twice a week and saw her for individual therapy another two times a week. He’d helped her more than she could say, and she was very close to confiding in him about just exactly why she and Kevin were on the run. Only loyalty to Kevin held her back from telling the conclusion to her sad story with her stepfather. Even though she hated Boggs, she had nightmares sometimes about having killed him, and wished she could talk about it to Dr. Hunter. She’d admitted everything else to him, even the things she’d kept from Kevin about Boggs’ abuse of her the years before she’d snapped and shot him.

She glanced at her watch, seeing it was nearly midnight now. Kevin had asked her to sneak up to the roof at 11:30, and was late. Maybe he fell asleep, she thought. She sighed, looking over the yard. I don’t think he likes it here as much as I do, she worried. Kevin refused to participate in group therapy, or in any of the activities the center provided.

All he wanted to do, all he seemed to have the will and energy for, was sitting out on the grounds writing or following her around like a puppy.

Worse, over the last week or so, Kevin had been having more and more trouble fitting in with the group. He never really fought with anyone, but he kept to himself and was starting to become irritable and snappish when forced to interact with the other residents. If he gets much worse, Emma might ask him to leave, she thought, worried. She was doing her best to cover for him, but there was only so much she could do about it.

The door up to the roof opened and Kevin came up, smiling at the sight of her. She smiled back and got up from the edge of the roof, heading toward him.

Kevin kissed her and pulled her to him, smelling the clean, fresh smell of her hair and holding her a moment. “Sorry, I couldn’t sneak out, the guys were up talking.”

“It’s okay,” she said, leaning contentedly against him. “You were having a little guy talk, huh?”

He pulled back a little. “No, they just wouldn’t shut up with their nonsense,” he muttered, looking distracted.

“Oh,” she said, disappointed. “Well, you’re here now. I had a good day today. Jimmy and I did a project together in –“

“Jimmy?” he said sharply.

“Well, we had to pick partners for the project and you weren’t there,” she said defensively. “You went outside and were writing.”

“Couldn’t you pair up with a girl?”

“It was just a project, what difference does it make who I do it with?”

His eyes flashed a little, and his fingers tightened at her back.

She drew back, frightened, and tried to pull out of his arms. “Don’t look at me like that,” she said suddenly, her legs weakening. “Don’t, you’re scaring me.”

He was contrite immediately. “I’m sorry, honey,” he cried, “Please, forgive me.”

She trembled a little, then shook her head, resting against him again. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” she whispered. “It’s no big deal.” He really hadn’t done anything, but . . . something about his eyes . . . like someone else was looking at me a second there. She shook off the ridiculous thought.

He rocked her, murmuring to her, “I’d never hurt you, Lou,” and she nodded.

“I know,” she whispered, turning her head up for a kiss. They stood looking out over the half wall around the roof, his arms around her from behind. “You know I love you, Kevin, don’t you?” she whispered, turning in his arms and stroking his hair.

“I love you too, honey,” he managed. “You’re my whole world.”

She stopped stroking his hair a split second, and worry flitted across her face yet again, then disappeared as they swayed together in the summer night.

Jimmy Hickok glanced across the dormitory at the newest resident, whom he knew only as “Kevin” even after just over a month of living together in the group runaway home. Kevin, as usual, was not speaking to anyone but rather had his face buried in a notebook.

Kevin and his girlfriend Lou had moved into the runaway center a month ago. There were two dormitories in the shelter, one for boys and one for girls. Lou seemed to be getting along fine with the girls in her dorm – Samantha, Doritha, Annie and Emily. And she seemed to like and get along with all the boys, too. Jimmy got a kick out of the spunky, pretty girl, and wondered what in the heck she saw in Kevin, who seemed like about the oddest duck Jimmy had ever met. Some of the boys had made attempts to be friendly, but Kevin had no interest in making new friends. Jimmy knew that Kevin would sit up well after lights out writing intently in that book of his, and often, he would sneak out of the room and take Lou up on the roof, no doubt to have sex, judging from how they’d looked one time when Jimmy ran into them in the hall coming back down.

Jimmy shook his head. No accountin’ for taste, he supposed, but he just couldn’t figure why Lou bothered with Kevin, who was usually irritable and quiet, and who all the boys had heard talking to himself on several occasions. But as spunky and full of fire as Lou was, she was always gentle and kind when dealing with Kevin, and led him around like he was a toddler she was babysitting. Kevin was only bearable to be around when Lou was there, in fact.

A tap came on the boys’ door, and Jimmy leaped up to answer it. Lou and Emily stood there grinning. “Thought we’d say goodnight, boys,” Lou said laughingly. With an effort, Kevin pulled his eyes from the notebook and smiled at her. She bounded over to his bunk and gave him a kiss goodnight. “You okay, honey?” she said, concerned, and he nodded, his eyes flickering back to the notebook.

“Okay, then,” she said uncertainly, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

After Emily said good night to Ike, and the door shut, Jimmy remarked, “That’s a nice little girlfriend you’ve got yourself there, Kevin.”

Kevin’s eyes flashed. “You shut up about my girlfriend. She’s no concern of yours,” he snarled.

Jimmy angrily stood up, but Ike and Buck stood and intervened. “Come on, Jimmy. It’s late, let’s just let it go. Lights out was half an hour ago,” Cody added.

“Yeah, Kevin, why don’t you put away that little diary you keep and let everybody get some sleep. Emma’ll be in here at 6:30 wakin’ us up,” Jimmy said, still irritated by Kevin’s outburst.

Kevin’s lips were moving as he wrote, and he didn’t seem to hear Jimmy.

“Hey. I said it’s lights out time, how about puttin’ out that light?”

Kevin looked up finally and shook his head, slowly. “I’ll go down to the break room with it. Need to finish this,” he said, seeming distracted.

“What the hell are you always writin’ about in that thing? All’s you do is sit around and . . . well, whatever it is you do with Lou up on the roof. Hey, that might actually be worth readin’,” Jimmy said, snatching the book and holding it aloft.

The others watched in shock as mild mannered Kevin lunged for Jimmy, grabbing him by the neck and dragging him to the floor. Wrenching the book from Jimmy, he got up and stood red-faced over him. “You stay away from my stuff. You stay away from Lou. Or I’ll kill you,” he threatened, before storming toward the door. Pausing in the doorway, he turned, and leveled his gaze back at Jimmy. “I’m on to you. You’re planning something, but I’m on to you,” he ranted. “So forget about the plan, I won’t let you.”

“Let me what?” Jimmy spluttered, getting up and brushing himself off indignantly. “What the heck are you talking about?”

Kevin stomped out of the door, muttering unintelligibly.

The boys sat silently for a moment.

“That guy freaks me out,” said Cody, finally.

“You and me both,” answered Buck. “Jimmy, I’d steer clear of him if I were you.”

Jimmy snorted. “Of that wimp? Are you kidding me?”

Ike shook his head, solemnly, and Cody muttered, “It’s always the quiet ones you have to watch. Something’s not right about that guy, I wouldn’t push him, Jimmy.”

Jimmy looked at the doorway a moment, thinking of Lou. “You don’t think he’d hurt Lou, do you?” he said, a little worried. He wouldn’t step on another guy’s territory, but he liked Lou a lot and hated to think she might be in any danger.

“He seems to worship the ground she walks on, I doubt it,” Noah said from the corner.

“But what if she does something to set him off?” Jimmy persisted.

“She knows him better than we do, I guess. But maybe somebody should tell Sam or Emma something, just in case,” Buck said, uncertainly.

“What are we gonna tell them? That he’s weird? There’s nothing they can do about that,” Jimmy pointed out. “Maybe I oughtta talk to Lou, make sure she’s okay.”

Kevin went into the break room with his notebook clutched to his chest. I hate this place, he thought furiously. I can’t take all these people in my face all the time. I just want some privacy. He only wanted to be with Lou, but the others . . . it’s getting to be too much. The stress seemed to be triggering the voices more and more, and it was getting harder to hide them, harder to pay attention to what was going on around him instead of what the voices were telling him in his head. And all these guys were always watching, always . . . always plotting, he worried. They’re always looking at Lou, especially Jimmy. He wants to come between her and me, I know it. He chewed his nails nervously, then started pacing and writing frantically, jotting down everything the innumerable voices in his head were telling him, trying to get control of himself.

Jimmy and Lou were assigned to breakfast duty the next morning, and he glanced at her as they worked. He handed her the boxes of eggs and they started breaking them into a bowl.

“So, how’s it going?” he ventured, looking at her.

She glanced up at his handsome, interested face. “I’m doing fine, thanks,” she answered, reaching for another egg. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I know you’re doin’ okay. You really are loosening up and getting along with everybody here. But I hope everything’s okay with your friend Kevin, there.”

She sighed. “I know, I was a little anxious when I came. Some bad things happened right before we ran away from home,” she explained. “But talking to Dr. Hunter’s helped me so much, I’m working through it. I just wish Kevin would talk to Dr. Hunter. I am worried,” she admitted. “I know Kevin’s having a hard time too, but he’s having such a hard time fitting in here, and I can’t figure why. I don’t know. Somethin’s changed,” she said, her troubled, big brown eyes looking at Jimmy.

“You scared?”

She stopped moving her hands. “Yes.” She sat down at the kitchen table, her head in her hands.

“What would you do if you were me, Jimmy?” she pleaded. “I love him, that hasn’t changed. But something’s wrong. I can’t ignore it or pretend it away anymore,” she said, her voice trembling. “He can’t focus on anything for more than five minutes. He acts like he’s in another world all the time. He’s irritable with everybody but me.”

“Is it drugs, Lou?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’ve never seen or smelled any drugs around him. So what is it?”

“Maybe you needed a friend so bad you fell in love with him ‘cause he helped you. Now you’re just gettin’ to know him, and maybe he isn’t who you thought he was.”

Lou reached for the egg carton again, suddenly tired. “He’s still the same Kevin I fell in love with. But something’s troubling him, Jimmy.”

“Just be careful, Lou. Don’t get hurt.” Jimmy avoided her eyes, knowing if he looked straight into his, she might see how he felt about her.

“That’s sweet, Jimmy, but Kevin will never hurt me,” she insisted, turning to light the stove and start scrambling eggs. Jimmy watched her for a moment. I hope you’re right, Lou.

Chapter Three

As the group clambered around the tables for breakfast, Kevin, his eyes tired, shuffled into the room, looking for Lou.

“Right here, honey,” she called, setting a plate down for each of them.

Clutching his notebook, he sat down where she pointed, silently. Lou kissed him on the cheek and sat next to him. “You sleep okay last night?” she asked, worriedly, picking up his glass and filling it.

The others looked at each other uneasily.

Kevin looked around angrily. “What are all of you staring at?” he snapped.

Emma turned from the stove. “That’ll do, Kevin. If you can’t be civil at the table, I’ll have to ask you to excuse yourself,” she said.

“Sorry, ma’am,” he mumbled, before turning sharply to the side as if hearing a noise.

Emma glanced at him, and then turned to the rest of the group. “Well, Dr. Hunter got here a few minutes ago and he’ll be running the group therapy, and for individual sessions for those of you who signed up. After that, I thought we might have a run into town, do some window shopping and maybe see a movie.”

“Field trip!” crowed Cody. The others looked excited too, but Kevin had no response.

As they finished breakfast, a knock came at the front door, which opened into the dining room. Emma got up and answered it, opening the door. A young man with a cast on his arm stood in the doorway.

“Hello,” Emma said kindly. “Lookin’ for a place to stay?” she asked, looking at his broken arm.

“No ma’am.”

At the sound of the voice, Kevin’s face went pale and Lou choked on her toast. “Jed,” she screamed, shoving her chair back and running to the door, throwing her arms around him. “I can’t believe it!” she cried, hugging him. Paul was standing behind Jed, smiling.

“Kevin, look, it’s your brother! It’s Jed!” she said, crying and laughing all at once. “Baby, it’s your brother! It must have been a mistake at the hospital – Kevin?”

Kevin sat as if paralyzed, staring at his brother.

“How’d you find us, Jed?” Lou asked.

Glancing at Kevin worriedly, Jed answered, “Paul and I went down to East Hampton for a visit this weekend. I saw some signs you guys had been there, and I checked the computer. Saw you’d checked this place out on the computer at the house, and we decided to drive out here and see if you were here.”

Lou nodded, and turned uncertainly toward Kevin, who was still seated, still speechless.

“Kev, hey, buddy. I guess you weren’t expectin’ to see me, but don’t I get a hello?” Jed said anxiously, his arm around Lou.

Kevin stood up, his chair slamming against the wall.

“You ain’t my brother.”

Lou stood open mouthed, staring at Kevin. “Kevin, what are you talking about? It’s Jed, of course, it must have been a mix-up in the hospital when they told you he died.”

Jed shook his head. “Somebody told you guys I died?”

Lou stopped. “Well, they didn’t tell me that. Somebody told Kevin.”

Jed looked at Kevin, dumbfounded. “Who told you that, Kevin?”

Kevin was shaking, his eyes wildly darting around the room. “I don’t remember. But I know he’s dead. I know you’re playing some kind of sick joke or trick.”

Jed stepped forward. “Kevin, was it one . . . one of your voices who told you I died?”

Lou’s face went gray. “Voices?” she whispered.

Jed nodded. “The night I got hurt, Kevin called and told me he’d been hearing voices. I didn’t get the chance to tell you or anybody before you two ran off. Isn’t that true, Kevin? Only I would know that, you see it really is me, your brother, right?”

Kevin’s head was turned away and he was shaking his head, his hands over his ears. “It’s a trick. You’re trying to trick me,” he insisted. “You probably put the voices in my head,” he accused.

“Kevin,” Lou protested. “Nobody’s trying to trick you.”

Emma murmured to Jimmy, “Get Dr. Hunter, Jimmy.”

Jimmy nodded, and started to brush past the others.

“You’re in on this, too,” Kevin hurled at Jimmy. “This is your doin’. You’re trying to come between me and Lou and this is part of some plan you’ve cooked up against me. You’re all against me,” he railed.

Jimmy hurried out of the room and Jed tried again to reason with Kevin.

“Buddy, I know you’re mixed up. But I’m trying to help you. Lou is too. We care about you, and we want you to be okay. Just let us help you, please.”

Kevin turned his head sharply again and shouted, “Shut up,” wildly. “I can’t think with all of you talking at the same time,”´he said, starting to weep and rub his eyes.

Lou stepped forward and tried to put her arms around Kevin, but by now he was talking randomly to no one in particular, and jerked away and bolted from the room. “Kevin,” Lou sobbed after him.

Emma ran to the phone and called 911.

“Emma, please, don’t, don’t call the police, he won’t hurt anyone, he –“

“Lulabelle. I’m not callin’ to get him in trouble. I’m calling because he’s sick, he needs help, sweetheart.”

Lou ran from the room blindly, and saw Kevin hurl himself into the break room, slamming the door and locking it.

She banged on the door, desperately. “Kevin, please. Please, trust me. No one wants to hurt you, and no one can come between us. Let me help you.”

Kevin was talking, talking incessantly, and there was some crashing of chairs and tables inside the room. But Lou couldn’t understand anything he said, or who he was saying it to. She rattled the doorknob.

Dr. Hunter had joined her outside the door and tried to reason with Kevin through it, even as the police pulled up with an ambulance close behind.

The others gathered in the hallway as the police came in. Dr. Hunter explained to them and the EMT workers, “It’s one of our residents, adolescent male, suffering fixed delusions – auditory hallucinations – probably paranoid schizophrenic, having a major psychotic episode. Danger to himself, possibly others – I’ll admit him on emergency status to General. If he doesn’t calm down, we’ll probably have to give him some Haldol -”

Terrified at Dr. Hunter’s words, Lou pleaded through the door for Kevin to come out.

The police officers approached the door and one of them tapped on it. “Okay . . . “ he turned questioningly to Lou. “Kevin,” she supplied.

“Okay, Kevin, let’s open up so we can talk, okay? I’m sure this can be worked out, whatever the problem is. Your friends are worried about you.”

The room fell silent.

“He’s quiet now,” the officer said softly. His partner handed him a thin metal tool, and he quickly jimmied the door open, pushing it with his hand in front of him cautiously.

Lou gasped at the sight of Kevin, muttering softly and incoherently, on his knees by the wall – scribbling with magic markers over the walls as fast as he could move the pen, his movements erratic.

“Kevin,” she moaned, as the EMT’s, Dr. Hunter, and the police slowly approached him.

“Kevin, it’s time to go in the ambulance to the hospital. We can help you with those voices there,” Dr. Hunter explained slowly. “There’s medications that can help them stop bothering you.”

Kevin shook his head without turning. He continued writing frantically.

“Come on, son. We’ll get you some paper to write on in the ambulance, how about that?” the older officer offered, gesturing to Emma, who scrambled to the supply closet and held out a sheaf of paper.

“See, you can write on this all you want, you don’t have to stop writing if you don’t want to.”

Kevin snatched the paper from the officer’s hands and nodded, mumbling randomly, and stood to leave with the team.

Passing through the doorway, he saw Jimmy standing near Lou.

The papers flew from his hands toward the pair. “You stay away from her, Jimmy? You hear me? You stay away from her while I’m gone,” he screamed, as the police restrained him and Dr. Hunter approached with the syringe of Haldol, injecting him in the upper arm. Within seconds, Kevin quieted and drooped toward the floor, and was half-carried out the door, calling Lou’s name weakly.

She ran after the EMT workers. “Please, let me ride in the ambulance with him,” she pleaded with Dr. Hunter.

Glancing at Kevin, barely moving on the gurney being loaded into the ambulance, Dr. Hunter nodded, but pulled her aside. “Lou, I understand how much Kevin means to you. But you need to be prepared – he’s deeply psychotic. It’s possible this could just be a reaction to a major depressive event, but to me it looks and sounds more like classic paranoid schizophrenia. If that’s the case, he will never be cured.”

Lou pulled her arm loose. “It’s got to be the other thing,” she insisted stubbornly. “He was really depressed when Jed –“ she stopped, confused. “He . . . thought Jed died –“

“Yes. That was a delusion, something in his mind that he can’t let go of. It’s as real to him as this ground is to you, Louise. Medication may be able to help him with his delusions, with his voices. A mood stabilizer may help the depression. But I can’t promise you that.”

“He will get better,” Lou insisted, starting to get in the ambulance.

Jed stepped forward and put his hand on Lou’s arm. “Lou, if you want, I can go to the hospital, and let you know what happens.” “I’m going with him.” “Lou. The police are looking all over for you back upstate for your stepfather’s killing. Once Kevin’s in the hospital, next thing is they’re going to call mom and dad, and then it will get back to the police at home that you’re here.”

Lou paused only a split second, then sighed. “I can’t hide forever, Jed. He needs me, I’m going with him, even if it means I get arrested. So be it.”

The ambulance doors slammed shut and Jed and Paul stood watching it pull away.

District Attorney Rachel Dunne looked over her notes on the Boggs killing a final time, as her Senior Assistant DA Bill Tompkins tapped on the door.

“Hey, Bill,” she said, motioning him in. “What can I do for you?”

“I understand the police have Louise McCloud in custody,” he said.

“Yes. I interviewed her at the juvenile detention center, and I just finished going over the forensics from the scene. Everything checks out, so I’ll arrange for her to be released.”

Bill’s face hardened. “You’re joking.”

Rachel looked up. “No, Bill, I’m not. You’re not suggesting we should prosecute that girl, are you?”

“I’m not suggesting it. I’m saying it.”

Rachel met his gaze. “Last time I checked, I was the District Attorney and you were an assistant, Bill,” she said levelly. “I’m exercising my prosecutorial discretion. That child has been punished enough.