Author's Note: In this series, the goal was to keep as many of the guest stars and regulars in the storyline as possible and see what happens. This story is set in Sweetwater, and in the previous installment "Three Ladies" Rachel won the brothel from Grace in a card game. Kid, Jimmy, Emma and Rachel know Lou's secret, but no one else does

"Mind if I ask a question, Miss Rachel?" Kid ventured, fiddling awkwardly with the sarsaparilla on the bar top, and lowering his voice so the other boys wouldn't hear.

Rachel smiled and leaned in closer from behind the bar. "What is it, sugar?" she asked kindly.

"Well, it's about . . . about Lou," he mumbled, red-faced.

"I see," Rachel encouraged. "What about her?"

He cleared his throat. "It's just that things between us have been gettin' real serious-like. But - - but we ain't had a minute to be alone without all these other fellas hanging around. And . . . and well, I been thinkin' and thinkin' on it, tryin' to find a way to spend some time alone with her, but …" he trailed off.

"But it should be special. Isn't that it?" Rachel finished.

"Yes. I asked Jimmy and … and he wasn't any help. He didn't understand." Kid looked down shamefaced at his glass, remembering Jimmy's advice to "just bring Lou up to the hayloft and get it over with, for Pete's sake."

"I just don't think the two of us can go on like we been, Miss Rachel. I asked Emma for a double ride that was on the schedule, and to take Lou. I know why she said no," Kid said wretchedly. "But she don't understand what it's like for us, keepin' so much bottled up inside all the time," Kid finished in a whisper. So few people knew who Lou was, what she was. Just Emma, Rachel and Jimmy, and himself of course. She was so desperate to keep her disguise that she kept her hair shorn almost to her head, her glasses firmly on her face and her hat pulled down over her eyes, all the time she wasn't sleeping. He never saw her in anything but baggy boys' clothes, and it seemed like if he couldn't get closer to her somehow, soon, he was going to …

The glass in his hand broke suddenly under his grip, the shards scattering on Rachel's clean bar. Pitying him, Rachel quickly grabbed his hand and wrapped it in a cloth. "You come on back in the office, Kid, I'll tend to that."

Rachel pulled the box of bandages she kept handy in the back room for the many altercations and dustups that occurred in the saloon despite her best efforts to keep the place under control. She sat the boy down in a chair opposite her and looked into his face.

"She feel as strong about this as you do?" she asked, indicating his wounded hand.

"Yes," Kid admitted, his face nearly purple with embarrassment. "We love each other so much, Rachel."

Rachel's eyes dropped and she bit her lip, touched at the young love in Kid's honest eyes. She finished her doctoring and patted his shoulder.

"Then I think I can help you out, Kid. I'll have a pretty dress, dinner, flowers, the works, up in a room for you this Saturday. Just bring yourselves, I'll have the rest taken care of."

"Thank you, Rachel," he said, reaching for his pocket. "I think this should cover -"

"Never you mind that, Kid. Get her a pretty necklace or some such, I know she won't wear it, but she'll be happy to get it. The rest is on me. "

They went back out to the main room and Kid shook Rachel's hand gratefully. "See you Saturday, then," he said softly. Jimmy, passing by on the way to the bar, looked up curiously.

As she watched Kid walk happily out the saloon door, she returned to the bar and smiled to herself, pulling out a clean cloth to polish the countertop. Jimmy moved his glass down nearby. "What was all that about? Lou know about your little appointment?"

"Well, if she says yes, she's the one who'll have the appointment," Rachel answered, cuffing him with her towel.

"That your idea or his?"

"His," Rachel grinned.

"I knew he'd figure it out," Jimmy smiled back.

Pushing aside the beaded curtain to the salon area, Lou looked around uncomfortably. She liked Rachel Dunne, the new owner of Grace's 'establishment', and she knew that it was no longer a house of ill repute. But she was in a place like this at the lowest point of her life, and the gaudy trappings and tinkling music still made her skin crawl. She had no idea why Kid asked to meet her here, or where he was.

"Lou," Rachel called from across the room. Lou turned and saw that her friend was standing in the doorway of the back office, gesturing to her to come over.

"What is it, Miss Rachel?" she asked, as Rachel pulled her into the office and shut the door.

"Well, you're meeting Kid upstairs for a special dinner tonight, aren't you?"

"Yes, that's right," Lou said, blushing.

"Dressed like that?"

Lou felt a little hurt, and looked down at her clothes. "Well, what difference does it make what I have on?"

Rachel smothered a smile. "I suppose it doesn't matter much once things get going, but to set the mood I think something more feminine might be in order?" She started rustling in the closet of clothes she kept in her office, looking for the dress she'd picked out for Lou to wear on her special night. She did love interfering if it was for a good cause, and true love was the very best cause of all, she thought.

"Do you think … do you think Kid wants more than just a dinner out, Miss Rachel?" Lou stammered.

"Yes. I think he does. But if you don't, Lou, then say the word. No woman should sleep with a man for any reason other than she wants to."

Lou blushed at Rachel's frankness. "Well, I admit I do want to get closer to him," she mumbled.

"Of course you do." Rachel pulled out the pretty pink dress and handed it to Lou. "You can get changed in here and then go upstairs to see your beau. He's expecting you up there in half an hour, so take your time. Let him wait a few minutes for you," she advised wisely.

When the door shut behind Rachel, Lou hesitated a moment. She looked at the lovely dress Rachel had picked out for her, and sat down at the desk, trying to calm down a bit. Mostly, she wanted to put the dress on, go upstairs, and be with the Kid in every sense of the word. But at the same time, she worried about what he would say if he noticed it wasn't the first time for her. Whether he would be disappointed in her for that, or in other ways.

She slipped into the dress, and tied the hair ribbon around her head to hold her short hair back. She had no mirror, but hoped she looked all right, and decided to go upstairs. She loved Kid with all her heart. She would follow her heart tonight. She breathed deeply, and then took hold of the doorknob and turned it, going quickly toward the staircase to the upstairs rooms so as not to be noticed. But a voice, a terrible, familiar voice, stopped her in her tracks.

"Mrs. Dunne, I presume?"

Lou ducked down behind the banister toward the upstairs. She watched, horrified, as Simon Wicks walked in beside Grace, with Charlotte Rowan close behind.

"What can I do for you folks?" Rachel asked, sunnily. "Evenin,' Grace."

"I'm here to see about buying you out," Wicks said calmly. "Grace here was one of my gals years ago before she struck out on her own. She tells me you won her business at the card table; I'm here to talk price."

"I ain't sellin'," Rachel said.

"Running a whorehouse is a complicated business, Mrs. Dunne. I've heard tell of you doing pretty well at the gambling tables back in N'Orleans, but that doesn't prepare you for what's entailed in my line of work."

"I wouldn't call it work - for you," Rachel said archly.

"Well said, Mrs. Dunne. Yes, the 'work' is done by the girls. And I don't see any of them here, tonight. May I ask why not?"

"That's because I told them they were free to go. I wasn't going to hold them to their agreements with Grace, even if I did win her business. I don't cotton to that kind of work, you see. This is going to be an upscale saloon, with, cards, shows, drinks. And that's it." Rachel's distaste for this man was beginning to show through her outer layer of courtesy.

"I see. Well, then I suppose you won't mind a little friendly competition. If Grace's girls are working on their own now, I'll be hunting them up. I'm sure there's another location in town available for a crucial service such as my girls offer."

"Yes, and maybe I can run it for you, Mr. Wicks," Grace piped up.

He snorted. "We'll see, Grace. You let Mrs. Dunne take you for everything you had at the card table. I'm not sure you can handle running a business. I'll be staying in town for a few months at least to make sure things are set up properly."

Lou cursed under her breath. Wicks was coming to live in Sweetwater - and she would run the risk of seeing him any time she went into town. Aside from the risk of him giving away her disguise, he might give away the reason for the disguise in the first place. She couldn't bear for the others to know, especially Kid.

She glanced down at her dress. No chance of her getting past Wicks dressed like this. And he had planted himself at Rachel's bar, seemingly entranced with the blonde beauty, despite - or was it because of - her obvious dislike for him. Wicks once said he always enjoyed a challenge.

Lou crouched down and scurried up the stairs to hide, since there was no getting past Wicks just now. The hallway upstairs was papered with red brocade fabric, just like Wicks' house in St. Joe. Rachel hadn't had the time or money to have the place refurbished. The shock of seeing Wicks downstairs was setting in, in earnest now. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath, couldn't think straight. When a door opened behind her, she whirled around like a frightened animal.

"There you are," Kid said softly. He was dressed up in his finest clothes, and there were candles lit in the room behind him. "Surprise," he said shyly, holding out a bouquet of flowers.

"Well, I didn't expect you to be that surprised," Kid joked gently. "Were you expecting someone else?" Concerned at Lou's frozen expression, Kid reached out to touch her arm. "You okay, Lou?"

He was startled when she jerked her arm back as if it was scalded. She started to back up, feeling behind her along the wall. Her head was spinning; Kid couldn't have chosen a worse setting for their first tryst if he had tried. Even the smell of the rooms upstairs, reeking of cheap perfume and bourbon, triggered an almost physical reaction.

"Lou, if - if you're not ready for this, we don't have to stay here tonight," Kid forced himself to say, seeing what looked like rank fear on her face. The door to the upstairs hallway started to open as he spoke, and Lou's face paled. She shot past him abruptly into the room, and slammed the door shut behind her, and stood leaning against it, trembling.

"Uh …," Kid stammered, still standing with the flowers in his hands. "Lou, what -"

She was opening the door a crack and peering out into the hall, and turned with relief on her face toward him. "It's okay," she breathed, shutting the door and locking it. She leaned against the door, her head in her hands.

"What's going on, Lou? You're so upset."

She looked up at his kind, gentle face, and impulsively rushed into his arms. "I'm all right now," she said against his chest, wanting to believe it. "Now that I'm with you."

"But are you okay to stay? Or would you rather go-"

"NO," she cried out. "No, Kid. I don't ever want to leave this room. I don't ever want to let you go," she almost sobbed, reaching up around his neck and pulling him down to kiss him desperately.

They moved together toward the bed, and Lou fell on it, pulling Kid down with her. He stroked her hair lovingly, and she felt comforted and safe again in his arms. "You'll never let me go, will you, Kid? Will you?"

"Never," he promised, holding her tenderly, and reaching for the row of buttons down the back of her dress. She saw him close his eyes, while he bent down to kiss her as his hands roamed over her body softly. But she kept her eyes open. She needed to see him as he touched her, to see that this was the man she trusted and loved, and soon the thought and memory of the other man downstairs was driven from her suffering mind, if only for that time.

Somewhere around midnight, Kid had fallen asleep, and Lou had lain quietly but wakefully in his arms since then. After a couple of sleepless hours, she had tried to slip out from under his arm, but he had only snuggled tighter to her, and she gave up. She stared out between the curtains to the empty streets below until the dawn started breaking.

If she had woken Kid, he might have suggested going back to the station, to avoid Emma's stern demands for an explanation, and the nosy questions of the other boys about where they had been so late. She knew well enough it would be ten times worse, having been out all night, but she would deal with that tomorrow morning when she had to. For now, she needed to feel safe and loved, and the only place she felt she could was right where she was. Sleeping on her hard bunk all alone, even with Kid's bunk below hers, would not have done.

Just the same, even with Kid's comforting arms around her, she couldn't manage sleep. She was afraid to sleep, really. Afraid of what her dreams might bring. She would rather lie awake all night feeling safe and cherished, than risk it.

Kid suddenly sat up bolt upright. "Is it morning?" he said, worried.

"Yep."

"Emma's gonna skin us alive," he muttered, jumping up and pulling on his clothes hurriedly. "I can't believe we fell asleep."

Lou didn't say anything, just pulled the sheet around her.

"I guess you wore me out," he finished, smiling happily at her. "Ain't you getting dressed?"

"My clothes are downstairs."

At her absent-minded look, he came and sat on the bed and pushed her hair back behind her ear. "You got clothes in here, too, don't you?"

"I can't wear those out of the room."

Her eyes were dark-rimmed and her face pale.

"Lou, are you feeling okay? You look really tired."

She smiled weakly. "I guess you wore me out too."

He kissed her softly, and she pulled back after a moment. "Could you get my clothes for me? They're in Rachel's office."

"Okay, if it'll make you happy. I'll get some breakfast while I'm out, bring it back here. How's that?"

"Fine," she said softly, looking out the window again. He kissed her forehead, and whispered, "I love you, and I'll have a surprise for you when I come back."

She nodded and stroked his face gently, smiling.

Kid kissed her again, and reluctantly went out the door. Lou got up and pulled the top sheet around her, just before she heard a knock at the door. Seeing the key on the bedside table, she chuckled.

"Locked yourself out, did you?"

She opened the door, and let out a scream when she saw Wicks standing in the doorway.

He reached out and grabbed the door as she tried to slam it in his face, and grinned. "My, my, Louise. How you've grown."

"You about ready to decide, Kid?" Tompkins asked wearily. "You been lookin' at those rings for twenty minutes."

"It's a big decision, Mr. Tompkins. If she says yes, she'll be wearing it a long time. I want to make sure she'll be happy with it."

"You can't go wrong with this one, then," Tompkins said, picking up the most expensive ring. "Only forty dollars."

Kid looked at the ring sparkling in the morning sunshine. It was the nicest one, by far. That was a lot of money, but Lou deserved the very best ring he could get for her.

"I'd better go to the bank and get the money, quick," Kid said. "She's waiting for me at the hotel." His face burned at his mistake, but Tompkins just smiled.

"I'll tell you what, Kid. You take it and I'll trust you for the money until tomorrow. Can't leave Lou waitin'."

Kid gaped. "You - you - you -"

"Of course I knew. I got eyes in my head, don't I? And I could see Lou McCloud goin' into the hotel around dinnertime last night, and you goin' in a little later, didn't I?"

Kid looked at Tompkins with new respect. "Well, how come you never said anything?"

Tompkins shrugged. "None of my concern how you two went about things. Congratulations. And if she don't like the ring, come on back and get somethin' else."

"She'll love it," Kid said hopefully, taking the small pouch and putting it in his pocket carefully. "I'll take this too," he said, placing some food on the counter. He couldn't wait until Lou saw the ring. All he wanted from now on was to make her happy, every minute of their lives together.

Rachel smiled as she mounted the stairs toward the hotel rooms. Kid had looked so happy when he'd left earlier, she couldn't help chuckling and feeling pretty good about her role in the couple's first special time together. An errand had delayed her but now she tapped on the hotel door and called, "Louise? Got your clothes here from the office, Kid asked me for the key on the way out to get them, and since he's taking so long I figured I'd bring them up for you. Let me in, I'm dying to know how it went."

When there was no answer inside the room, Rachel noticed that the door was slightly ajar. She pushed it open and gasped.

"Lou, what - - "

The girl was sitting in the corner, her face tear-streaked and a torn sheet clutched around her. Her lip was split open and there were red marks on her upper arms.

Rachel shut the door quickly and rushed to Lou's side. "My God, Lou, what happened."

Lou reached for the bundle of clothes. "I fell," she said woodenly.

"You fell?"

Lou didn't answer, but started pulling the clothes on under the sheet.

"Lou, you didn't get these marks from falling."

"I said I fell, and that's what happened."

"Where, on Kid's hands? There are handprints on your arms, Lou. Did he force you -"

"No!" Lou shrieked. "Don't say that! Kid would never hurt me, he loves me. Don't ever let me hear you say that again, Rachel Dunne, or I'll never speak to you again!"

Rachel watched, frightened, as Lou pulled the shirt on over her head and started to pull on a pair of boots.

"Lou, you don't need to lie about this. If Kid hurt you, you need to go to the marshal." Rachel thought she understood. "You're afraid that Sam won't believe you because you came up here willingly? Or you're worried about your job if folks find out you're a girl; but, Lou, you need to know he had no right to hurt you."

Lou's eyes were steely as she turned on Rachel. "I ain't tellin' you again, Rachel. I just fell. Nobody hurt me, especially not Kid." She looked out the window suddenly and turned paler.

"Oh no," Lou whimpered.

Rachel glanced out the window and saw Kid, a bag in his hands, speaking to that man who had rented a room in her hotel last night, Mr. Wicks. She glanced back; Lou's face was alive with fear.

"Lou -"

"I have to get out of here," Lou said, pulling her hat on her head. "I have to hurry before he gets up here." As she rushed to the door, she turned back. "Please don't say nothing to Kid about - - about me falling, Rachel. Please, promise me."

Rachel stood silently, and Lou sobbed, "Please, Rachel!"

"All right, Lou. But you're making a mistake."

Lou didn't answer, but ran down the stairs and slipped out the back exit, avoiding Kid and Wicks who were talking on the sidewalk. Her horse was tied behind the hotel, and she quickly got on and spurred him, racing away.

Rushing back to the hotel room, Kid bounded up the steps and brushed against a stranger. "Beg pardon," the man said, tipping his hat. Eager to get upstairs, Kid nodded, but the man spoke again.

"Can you direct me to the land office in town?"

Kid stopped and pointed toward the end of town. "Down there, mister." Glancing into the man's face, he shivered a little, he couldn't say why. The man was ordinary looking enough, though dressed in a dandy's outfit. But … there was a set of marks rising up across his face … five deep scratch marks.

"Thank you, young man," the man said, tipping his hat again, and walking down the street. Kid shook off the odd feeling the man had given him, and headed upstairs to find Louise and ask her to make an honest man of him.

Upstairs, Rachel sadly picked up Lou's dress and the scattered sheets from the floor, and turned when Kid stepped in the doorway.

"Where's Lou?" he asked, looking around.

"I don't know. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you," Rachel snapped.

Kid looked dumbfounded at Rachel. "Excuse me?"

"There's no excuse for your kind, Kid. You sure had me fooled." Rachel remembered her promise to Lou. If she stood any chance of helping the girl, she had to keep that promise, and she bit her tongue and simply shoved past the mystified boy, giving him a filthy look on the way out.

"Well, it's about time," Emma fumed, seeing Lightning racing toward the station from town.

Storming up to Lou, she demanded, "May I ask where you and Kid were all night, young lady?"

Lou kept her head turned away intently from Emma.

"I asked you a question , Loulabelle. Why didn't you and Kid come home last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Lou snapped rudely.

"Excuse me? While you're livin' under my roof, you'll account for your whereabouts, ma'am."

"I'm here on time for my job," Lou said defensively. "And I may work for you, but I don't have to answer to you about what I do on my own time."

"Yes, you do work for me, and I'd appreciate your losin' that fresh tone of voice!" Emma said, furious now. "And look at me when I'm talkin' to you."

Lou reluctantly turned her face toward Emma, who gasped.

"What happened to you, Lou?"

"I took a fall on the way home," she lied.

"Is . . . is everything all right, honey?" Emma asked hesitantly. There was something wrong, very wrong, in Lou's wide brown eyes. "Did you do somethin' you regret last night?"

The brown eyes looking down at Emma were filling with tears now. "I can't talk now, Emma."

"Sure you can, sweetheart. You aren't on the schedule for today."

Lou looked uncertainly at Emma. She wanted to talk about it, ask someone to help her. But shame and fear was stronger than that impulse, and when Ike came racing toward them on his horse, she drove her heels into Lightning and raced alongside, grabbing the mochila before Jimmy, who was on the schedule, could even get on Sundancer.

"Suits me, I'd just as soon not ride today," Jimmy smiled, looking after Lou. Looking at Emma standing with her hands on her hips and a worried expression on her face, his smile faded.

"What's the matter, Emma?"

"I'm worried about her, Jimmy. She and Kid didn't come home last night, and now she seems out of sorts."

Jimmy stuck his hands in his pockets and tried to whistle nonchalantly, but Emma looked at him sharply. "You wouldn't happen to know anythin' about this, would you, Jimmy?"

He looked around as if she was talking to someone else. "Me? How would I know anythin' about it?" He knew full well what Kid had planned for Lou at Rachel's, but would rather go double-duty for a month than betray his friends' confidence.

"I see." Emma shook her head. "Well, when Kid gets back here, he's going to have some explainin' to do."

Jimmy nodded innocently, and Emma flapped her dishrag irritably before going into the house. As soon as she was out of sight, Jimmy got on his horse and started toward town to warn the Kid that Emma was on the warpath.

Jimmy strolled into Rachel's saloon and nodded to the pretty bartender. "Mornin' Miss Rachel. Is half the pair of lovebirds still here?"

Rachel looked sourly at him. "If you mean Kid, yes, he's upstairs getting Lou's things. And the sooner he gets his unwelcome carcass out of here, the better."

"Wha?" Jimmy asked, astonished.

"Never mind. Did you see Lou on the way out here?" Rachel asked, sick with worry and regret. If only I had known Kid was dangerous, I never would have helped him get her alone, she agonized.

"Yeah, I saw her for a second. She seemed a little upset, though," Jimmy sighed. "Maybe it was a little disappointing, I'm sure it was her first time. Sometimes it's a little tough on them the first time."

"It doesn't have to be," Rachel snapped, yanking a chair off a nearby table and setting it on the floor with a thud.

Kid came downstairs and nodded to Jimmy.

"Well, there's the man of the hour," Jimmy said brightly. "How you feel this morning, big fella?"

"Fine," Kid blushed, ducking his head sheepishly. Rachel snorted disgustedly in the corner, snatching another chair from a table and slamming it down.

Kid glanced at Rachel, wondering again what on earth he'd done to offend her. But Jimmy was putting his arm around his younger friend. "Well, that sounds like it calls for a toast, Kid. Let's have two cold ones, Miss Rachel."

"I thought you Express riders were supposed to be teetotalers," Rachel said irritably, wanting Kid out of her sight before she couldn't control her anger any more.

"That's okay, Jimmy. I want to catch up with Lou soon as possible."

Rachel looked up, alarmed, but Jimmy's next words reassured her that Lou was in no immediate danger.

"Sorry to say, that ain't possible, Kid. She took my ride this mornin'."

"Damn it," Kid said, sitting down on a bar stool dejectedly.

"So tell me, Kid, how was it?" Jimmy asked confidentially.

"Jimmy, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," Kid answered, fully aware of Rachel's angry face staring at him from across the room. "Let's head back; I'd better face the music with Emma anyways."

"And she's loaded for bear, Kid. You'd better start thinkin' of an excuse pretty soon."

Kid followed Jimmy out of the saloon, nodding again to Rachel, who pointedly ignored him. But he was more worried about Lou, and why she had left the room without waiting for him, why she'd left on a ride when she wasn't on the schedule, and what this meant. Doubt started creeping into his heart. Maybe she thinks we made a mistake, he thought sadly.

"You okay, Kid?" Jimmy asked as they swung on their horses.

"I just can't believe she left without saying goodbye after last night," he admitted.

"Maybe she left you a letter with Emma, she was talkin' to her just before Ike rode up," Jimmy suggested. "You're going to have to face her sooner or later, so ask her when you see her. I can't believe she'd leave without at least a note."

Kid nodded, but fell silent the rest of the way home, his happiness clouded after Lou's strange behavior since he'd left her at the hotel that morning.

Kid saw Emma on the porch and turned to Jimmy. "Can you put Katy in the paddock for me?" he asked.

"Time to face the music, eh, Kid?" Jimmy slapped Kid on the back. "Good luck."

Kid mounted the steps and Emma gestured silently toward the porch swing next to her. She went on snapping beans for lunch into a pan. "So, you kept Miss Loulabelle in town all night."

He shrugged dejectedly.

"I see, bad manners are contagious this mornin'."

"I'm sorry, Emma. It's just, things ain't working out like I thought they would last night."

"You took her to bed, and it wasn't as simple as the two of you thought, then?"

Kid was silent. "It ain't like you think, Emma. I love her."

Emma waited. "And she loves you, right?"

"I don't know. She ran off this morning without saying goodbye, that don't sound like love. Seems like I didn't measure up."

"It ain't like she's had anybody to measure you against, I'm sure."

At Kid's continued silence, Emma looked over at Kid. "It was her first time too, wasn't it?"

"I don't know. She didn't . . . you know. Bleed," he finished, shamefaced. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Emma of all people.

Emma chuckled. "Well, Kid, Lou spends an awful lot of time on horseback. I hear tell a lot of gals who do a lot of riding don't show the signs. And a lot of girls don't anyway, for other reasons. I hope you didn't accuse her of anything based on that."

"No, of course not. Even if she was with someone else before, I wouldn't care. I love her, Emma, and if I did something wrong and lose her, it'll kill me." He dropped his head on his hands. "Rachel said that it would be so romantic, the hotel room, the flowers, everything. And it was, I thought. But Lou mustn't have thought so, or she would have stayed this morning."

"Rachel talked you into this?" Emma said, sternly.

"Well, I was pretty inclined in that direction anyway, Emma. It isn't her fault, I made the decision to take her up on the hotel room and everything."

"I see," Emma said briskly. "Well, that's water under the dam. But when Lou gets back from this ride, just tell her you love her and try to take things a little slower, maybe?"

Kid thought of the ring in his pocket. He wanted to put it on Lou's finger more than anything, wanted to love her forever, give her babies, get old together. He knew it already, and thought Lou felt the same. But … maybe Emma was right, maybe they should slow down a little. As long as Lou said she still loved him when she got back that was all that mattered.

Kid waited anxiously for Lou's return in two days, and Emma took pity on the young man and scheduled him to be in the station then. But the rider who returned wasn't Lou; it was the Kangaroo Kid, Hack from Australia, who had signed on with Russell, Majors and Waddell shortly after their adventure with Amanda O'Connell. He worked out of the next home station, and they all knew him well from when they had to stay overnight there.

He swung off the horse tiredly and greeted the riders assembled on the porch.

"Where's Lou?" Kid blurted. Hack looked curiously at him. "He asked me to take his return trip for him, mate. He took my ride in the other direction."

Kid felt the whole world shatter around him at Hack's words. The young man stared at Kid, wondering why the news that little Lou McCloud had traded rides would matter this much to Kid.

"Did he say if he was coming back to this station, or are you trading home stations with him?"

"I figured I'd switch back with him next time I ride out that direction. My stuff is there, his is still here, after all." Hack turned away; uncomfortable with the conversation for reasons he couldn't put his finger on. But Kid was devastated, knowing that it would be several days before Hack would get a ride back to his home station, traded with Lou, and Lou could reach them again.

Kid stared after Hack, torn with disappointment. He couldn't understand it, how she could leave without the decency of a single word after what they had shared together.

Hack handed a letter to Emma. "Lou sent this to you, ma'am."

The sight of Emma ripping open a letter from Lou tore at his heart. Anger that she wrote to Emma but not to him, battled against wanting to know whether she was all right, and he drew close to Emma, hat in hand.

Emma looked up. "She says she's going to St. Joe to see her brother and sister. She's going to be trading with riders along the route until she gets there, and then come back."

A small folded note fell from the envelope, and Emma turned it over. "It's for you, Kid," she said, relieved. Kid took the paper quickly and headed to the barn to read it in private.

Jimmy sidled up to Emma. Out of the corner of his mouth so the others wouldn't hear, he said, "Hope it isn't a 'dear Kid' letter, that poor guy's heart can't take it."

Emma smiled sadly at Jimmy and patted his arm. "It'll be what it is, Jimmy. But I have a few words I'd like to say to Rachel next time I'm in town."

"Emma, this isn't her fault. She was just tryin' to be a friend."

"And look at the damage she's caused. No, your Miss Rachel and I will sit down and discuss this next time I get the opportunity."

The ten days that Lou was away were an eternity for Kid. Her short note to him, "Please forgive me. I love you," was both a comfort and a further torment. What was wrong, why was she doing this to him, to them? He loved her so desperately, and the slip of paper and his memories and dreams were all he had to hold on to. And she haunted his dreams, mercilessly, when he could find sleep at all. In those dreams he relived their night in the hotel, saw her trusting, sweet eyes fixed on his as he made love to her. Heard her calling his name in ragged gasps as she clung to him, heard her beg him never to leave her. He'd promised over and over, no, Lou, I'll never leave you, I promise, and she'd kept asking him over and over again. Don't leave me; don't let me go, Kid.

Funny, I'd never thought to make her promise the same.

He lay on his bunk smoothing the paper she'd written on in his hands, praying that she would be back tomorrow, at least if he could see her it would be something, better than this. Finally, he got up and went out to the outhouse, putting the paper carefully under his pillow for safekeeping.

When he left, Cody sighed irritably. "Thank God, thought he'd never stop tossin' and turnin'. And when he's asleep, he's even worse. I know we all have our manly dreams, but that guy needs to get some, and fast. I can't stand it another night. He's not natural."

"Leave him alone," Jimmy warned. "He's goin' through a tough time."

"What do you mean, Jimmy?" Buck asked.

"Can't get into it, figure if he wanted you to know he'd tell you. But just go easy on the poor guy." Jimmy turned over, hoping to get to sleep before poor Kid came back and kept up his noisy misery.

"Y'know, there's a new brothel opening up in town. I think I know what to do to take the edge off for Kid."

"He'll never go," Jimmy said. "You're wasting your time."

Cody scoffed. "He don't know what he's missing, is all. It's harmless fun and those gals have to make a living, don't they? I heard there's a grand opening next week. I'm going to go have a little look myself, and I'll find an excuse to get Kid to go along."

"What'll you tell Emma?" Hack asked, amused. "That mama hen wouldn't approve of her chicks flocking in a place like that. She doesn't even approve of you boys going to that nice Miss Rachel's place."

"I'll think of something afterwards," Cody said dismissively.

"Go to sleep, will you," growled Jimmy.

Lou lay awake in her bedroll, her eyes dry and burning. Seemed like she'd cried all the tears she had in her, in the last week. She missed Kid so much; her longing was so intense it felt like a physical pain, like hunger or thirst. Her heart was broken, and at last she knew what people meant by that trite phrase.

She'd gotten to St. Joe quickly, only to find that her father had taken her brother and sister out of the orphanage. This new problem was a welcome distraction in some ways from the problems back home. Much as she loved Kid still, she dreaded seeing him again. She passed a hand over her eyes, trying to block out the memories.

"My, my, Louise. How you've grown."

"Get out of my room," she'd tried to shout, but the words came out as a whisper.

"Louise, Louise, we know each other far too intimately for such formality. After what we've shared, surely I can visit with you in your room, even in your current … dishabille."

Terrified and repulsed, she had pulled the sheet around herself more tightly, and he'd laughed. "Don't worry, Louise, you look quite charming."

"I said, get out," she'd tried again, her voice stronger now.

"No need to rush. Mrs. Dunne stepped out for an errand. No one is going to be disturbed by us. And I'm here to discuss business. I see you've joined my line of work. How much are you charging that hayseed you were in here with? Come work for me and I can make sure you -"

"You're disgusting. That's my husband, not a customer. I'm not a whore."

He'd grabbed her left hand and held it out a moment, then flung it away. "Not your husband, Louise. If you're not a whore, then you're just an unpaid slut. And that makes you a fool, when you can get good money for your services."

She'd tried to run for it then; but he was too quick for her, grabbing her by the arms and shaking her roughly, then backhanding her. She'd fallen, the sheet torn away, and he'd smiled calmly down at her as she was sprawled on the floor at his feet. "This brings back some memories, doesn't it, Louise?"

She sat up and gasped for breath, before flinging the blanket off and running down to the nearby pond, to wash her face in the cold water. Her gun rattled against her leg; she'd gone to bed fully dressed and armed to the teeth. But as she splashed the water over her face, she knew that she'd never feel safe again, not while he lived. She watched her reflection shattering in the moonlight as the drops fell back into the pond.

The stage pulled in to town at noon. Stagecoach Sally bellowed, "Last stop, Sweetwater. I don't care where y'all go but y'all can't stay here! Everybody out, chillins." She smiled with pleasure at the thought of visiting with her adopted son, Noah again, and quickly tossed the children's small belongings onto the wooden sidewalk. "You tell Noah his Aunt Sally's coming by the station later, now," she told Lou, who nodded absent-mindedly back.

Lou picked up her brother and sister's bags and sighed. "Well sugarplums, we're here."

"Great," Jeremiah said dejectedly. "Now what? We go ask that boss of yours if we can stay at her house, you said? "

"Yes. At least for a little bit," Lou said tensely, looking away. "Hopefully I can get some money together for a place soon. And you can hide here, go to school, until then."

"Or until Pa tracks us down, and takes us back."

"We've just got to be careful to keep that from happening, Jeremiah." Lou's voice was strained. After the two weeks she'd had, she felt like she was on the verge of a nervous collapse. The run-in with Wicks had been followed by facing her criminal father, pretending to reconcile with him, and slipping away in the dead of night with her brother and sister. She prayed that she had lost him for good; though he had been thrilled to see her and welcomed her back with open arms, he was as brutal and unscrupulous as ever. She shuddered to think what he would do to her when he discovered her duplicity.

And being back in Sweetwater was having a bad effect on her on top of it; all she wanted was to get off this stage, rent a wagon and get out to Emma's. She didn't know what she'd do if Emma said no to her request, but supposed she'd have to rent a room in town for herself and the children. And that thought terrified her, since she might run into Wicks at any moment if she stayed in town. She tried to steady her hands, but they trembled so badly she stuck them under her arms and squeezed her eyes tight. When she saw Kid, she had to apologize for the way she had run off, and even though she'd sent him a note, she didn't know if he would forgive her for that.

Wicks looked up from the card table in his new brothel and was surprised. It was Louise's lover, wandering in confused with another young man. He put his hand on his gun; it had been a week since their encounter in the hotel room, and he wondered if Louise had suddenly decided to say something about it to the young man, if he was here for a duel or to simply shoot him. But the dumbfounded look on the young man's face reassured him.

"Cody, is this place what I think it is?" Kid asked, his voice low but angry.

"Kid, relax. You need to blow off some steam. My treat, pick out a young lady and -"

Kid flung off Cody's arm. "I don't go with whores," he snapped. At his card table, Wicks raised an eyebrow.

"Pretty pious there, Kid, but let me tell you, you don't know what you're missing," Cody encouraged him.

Kid's heart called out for Lou; remembering how it felt to join with someone he loved completely, body and soul, he shook his head. "No, Cody, you're the one who doesn't know what you're missing." He turned around and pushed the curtain aside, and stepped out of the brothel, as two scantily clad ladies of the night boldly called out to him, "Hey cowboy, leavin' so soon?"

Wicks couldn't resist; he followed Kid out onto the porch, a pretty young prostitute on his arm. "I heard you in there, young man. If you're feeling a little awkward, take Scarlet here, she's pretty gentle."

The stage stop was directly across the street from the new brothel, and Lou walked around the stagecoach, holding Theresa's hand, when she stopped short, at the sight of Kid emerging from the old hotel, which had been closed and vacant since the new hotel opened six months ago. There were loose women hanging out of the windows, standing on the porch, and her heart stopped when she saw Kid emerging from the hotel. And Wicks following after him.

"What's the matter, Louise? " Theresa asked timidly, seeing her sister's lips go white.

"Nothing," Lou managed, "nothing, sugar bear. Let's get to Emma's."

Grace waited for an answer from Simon Wicks, her hands twisting.

"I already told you why I can't do anything for you, Grace."

"But Simon, I - - I worked for fifteen years to build up that house," Grace pleaded.

"I know Grace. Five of those years were on your back at my place in St. Joe, remember?"

"I remember," she said, trying to keep her voice controlled. Wicks had hired all her girls back, and the house was up and running. Without her in charge.

"Isn't there any way you could see to at least hiring me to be madam here? I know this town, I know these girls. You've got your own place in St. Joe, you're gonna need somebody to run this place you can trust."

"Yes. Exactly."

"Then you'll hire me on?"

"Of course not. I said I need someone I can trust. Not somebody who's so reckless she'd bet what she took fifteen years to build up on one deal of cards with a professional cardsharp."

"That was one mistake, Simon, I -"

"I don't allow for mistakes, Grace. Show yourself out."

"Please, Simon," she tried, desperately.

"I got one job for you in this establishment, Grace. You're too old to be a whore, too stupid to be a madam. I got a cook hired. That leaves laundry girl, and to tell the truth, I'd be doing you a favor if I hired you for that. I usually like to hire a little gal for that, to break her in for better things later on."

Some of the whores, especially Sparrow, snickered at Grace's humiliation. They got so little chance for revenge on their masters, for they really were slaves in all but name, that they enjoyed this hugely. Grace looked around angrily, then turned and stormed out without another word. Pausing at the doorway, she looked back one last time, hatred in her heart, and rummaged in her small bag for her Derringer. He'd pay for this, she swore under her breath, turning and holding the gun out. Wicks' men jumped from the corner and grabbed her, wresting the gun from her.

"Throw her out of here," Wicks said calmly. "With the rest of the trash." He made a mental note to hire a couple more men for protection while he was in Sweetwater, and beckoned to Sparrow to come sit on his knee, dismissing the thought of the former madam from his mind.

Emma opened the door and came in to Miss Rachel's bar, looking grimly at the woman behind the counter.

"Mornin,' Miss Rachel."

Rachel looked up. "Well, this is a coincidence. I was about to come out to talk to you myself."

"You were?"

"Yes. I have a problem that I've been wrestlin' with about one of your riders, and I saw Lou come in on the stage an hour ago, so I can't put off talkin' to you about it any longer. It's about Kid."

"By coincidence, I'm here to talk about Kid as well," Emma nodded. "He told me about your part in what happened between him and Lou here a few weeks ago."

"My part?"

"Yes. I want you to know I hold you partly responsible for how it turned out."

Rachel sighed. "Listen, Emma, nobody can make me feel any worse about this than I already do, believe me. But I really was taken in by that young man. I never in a hundred years would have dreamed he was capable of hurting her."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked suspiciously.

"Well, you didn't think he was violent, did you? And if you know about this, why haven't you fired that animal?"

"You lost me, Rachel. Who said anything about Kid being violent?"

The door opened and Lou appeared in the doorway.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Rachel, Emma. I went out to the station and the boys said you were here. It's kind of important."

"Loulabelle, you're back," Emma said. "I was worried, and Kid has been beside himself."

"He's found something to keep him busy, I expect," Lou said moodily. "But I have to ask you something important."

"All right, what is it?" Emma asked. Rachel excused herself to go into the storage room, giving them some privacy.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I need someplace for my brother and sister to stay for a spell. I'll pay for their room and board, of course, and take care of their laundry and such, if you could see your way to letting them stay with you."

Emma eyed Lou closely. The girl's hair was even shorter than when she had left, and her clothes were even more shapeless than usual; and worse, dirty. There were dark rings around the eyes behind her spectacles.

"Why did you take them out of the orphanage so soon, Lou?" Emma wondered.

"Because . . . because my father went and took 'em out of there," Lou said, finally. "He's a terrible man, Emma, and I promised my mother I'd never let him into our lives again. I had no choice."

Emma sighed, rubbing her eyes. "All right, Loulabelle. They can stay with me. We'll work out the details later, and I won't charge you more than they cost me to keep, all right?"

Rachel came out from the storage area, and smiled kindly at Lou. "How you doing, Louise?" she asked, her face showing her worry at Lou's disheveled appearance.

"Fine," Lou mumbled, though being in Rachel's place, and seeing Rachel's concerned look again, was making her more uncomfortable than she'd been since the last time she was here. "I'd better get goin'."

"Listen, Lou, Emma and I were talking about what happened here just before you ran off. And I think you need to think long and hard about what Kid did, and about going to the marshal about it."

Lou looked dully at her, her sleep-deprived mind not fully taking her in. "Why would I do that?"

"Yeah, Rachel, what on earth are you talking about?" Emma said, mystified.

"Lou knows what I mean," Rachel said, taking Lou by the shoulders gently and looking into her eyes. "Kid hurt you, and he needs to be punished for it."

"For the tenth time, Rachel, he didn't do what … what you think," Lou insisted. "What do I have to do to get you to drop it?"

"How about tell the truth, Lou? I'm trying to be your friend, honey. No woman should put up with bein' manhandled like that."

Emma's eyes widened. "Are you suggesting that - that Kid hit her?" she asked, incredulously.

The bell over the door jangled and Kid came through the door, his hat in his hand. Glancing around, his eyes fell on Louise. "You're back," he said, joy and relief radiating from his face as he rushed toward her, only to have her raise her hand against his chest and stop him abruptly.

"Don't touch me," she seethed. "Don't ever touch me again."

Emma stood open-mouthed, staring, beside a grim-looking Rachel.

"Lou, what's the matter? What did I do to make you this mad?"

Emma felt Rachel tense next to her, and saw the other woman's hand slip below the bar, where a rifle was hung on a pair of hooks. "Rachel!" she started, but Rachel glared at her and Emma fell silent.

"You broke my heart, that's what. Did you enjoy it, Kid? Did you?" Lou sobbed, forgetting about the two women in the corner.

"I don't understand, Lou," Kid said, his voice rising in desperation. "You're the one who hurt me, you ran off with nothing but a few words on a paper, no explanation, after everything we've shared -"

"So I deserved it, is that what you're saying?"

"Lou, will you start making some sense, and tell me what is going on?" Kid pleaded.

"It's simple, Kid. We're through, understand?" she flung in his face.

Even as angry as she was, the hurt look on his face made her pause and look away, her eyes squeezed shut in heartache.

She forced herself to go on. "It's over." She nodded her head, uncertainly, and stepped around him toward the door.

"No," he burst out, slamming the door shut and turning her around by the arm. "It's not over, it can't be," he said, backing her against the wall. Rachel gasped behind the bar, and bent toward the gun.

"Don't make it worse, Kid," Lou begged, faintly, and he dropped on his knees, clutching her around the waist, burying his face in her arms.

She found her arms going around his head, her lips pressing against the top of his head, for a moment. She still loved him, so much . . . but she hated herself at the same time for her weakness. She looked up, tears falling, and tried to detach his arms from around her waist. "Let me go," she said, trying to sound strong.

"I won't, not until you love me again," he pleaded, looking up at her tearfully.

Emma put her hand to her mouth in horror as Rachel cocked the rifle and aimed it at Kid's back.

"That's enough, Kid. She said to let her go."

"Rachel, what are you doing?" Emma shrieked.

"Get back, Kid," Rachel ordered.

"Rachel, don't," Lou said, shaking her head. "Kid," she continued, "maybe it's my fault. Maybe I wasn't enough woman for you. Maybe I just expected too much. I don't know. But it hurts too much for me to stay with you, when you aren't who I thought you were."

"Don't say that, Lou, please. Please don't do this."

She shook her head, resolutely. "I have to, Kid."

He stubbornly persisted, "But why? What did I do? Can't you even tell me that?"

"I saw you come out of that place," she said, her voice quiet but clear. "You went to a whore. I was away a couple weeks and you couldn't keep it in your pants that long."

He let go of her and stared up at her a moment. "You - you think I was in there doing that? You don't know me better than that?"

"I know you're a man, and no different from any other man, after all," she said bitterly. "Like I said, it's my fault for seein' what I wanted to see. But I won't live with it, Kid."

"I'm telling you, nothing happened in there. Cody tried to get me to go, but I left as soon as I saw what was going on in there. I'd never disrespect you that way."

Looking down at him, she wanted to trust him, believe in him. But he was a liar, like all men, and thought only about one thing and how to get it, like all men. She sighed, sadly - thinking, after all, Wicks was right, wasn't he. About everything.

"So, now that the preliminaries are out of the way, what do you say? You coming to work for me or not?"

She crawled into the corner, pulling the sheet after her and clutching it around herself, praying that he would just leave.

"Louise? Didn't you hear me?"

"Once he gets back here, and I tell him what you did, he'll kill you."

"Who? That john of yours? Stop kidding yourself. You're nothing but a piece of tail to him."

"Shut up-"

"Come on, Louise. Grow up. And if you were anything more to him, that ends if he ever finds out about you and me."

"There's no you and me," she said shakily. "And you're wrong," she argued, as if it mattered a damn what Wicks thought. "He's not like that. He loves me."

"I'm surprised how naοve you still are! You saw all the so-called respectable gentlemen who stepped out on their wives back in St. Joe at my place, didn't you? The mayor, the minister, the sheriff. You really think he's any different?"

She had cringed back against the wall as he turned to smile lightly at her. "There are two kinds of women, Louise. The women who men like that marry, and the women they use for a release in cheap hotels and alleys. You're the second kind, my dear. Face it."

"He loves me," she had wept, as if by saying it out loud she could convince herself it was true, that Kid would still love her no matter what.

Wicks chuckled. "We'll see. Go on and tell him, Louise. Tell him what I've done and every time he looks at you from now on, he'll think about me giving it to you."

"No, Kid. It's not going to work, I can't get past - - everything."

He looked coldly at her a moment, seeing that she meant what she said. He slowly stood up, and nodded.

"That's it, then. You don't know me. You don't trust me. You're right, it can't work." He gazed into her face a last time, a long, searching look for the feelings, the love that had shined from her eyes the last time he saw her, what seemed like an eternity ago. But he saw only suspicion and mistrust.

"Goodbye," he whispered, walking past her and out the door.

She'd told him to leave, but when he did it, when the little bell jangled overhead and he really walked out the door like she'd told him to, Lou's pain and heartache had a new companion. The emptiness washed over her like a wave at the shore of the beaches she'd heard her mama and father talk about from back East where they came from, so many years ago. Before her father turned out to be - - she had turned to look out the window after Kid, and her hand tingled with the urge to open the door. But the thought of her father, the sight of the brothel in the distance, reminded her and she stiffened her spine resolutely, stubbornly. Even your own mother got taken in, married someone thinking he was one person and found out too late what he was. Even your father had a dark side, she told herself, and Kid is no different. If he cheats on you with whores now, what will he do five, ten years from now? Don't be a fool, like mama was. She dropped her hand.

"Can somebody tell me what's going on?" Emma pleaded.

"Nothing," Rachel said softly, so proud of Lou she could barely contain herself. She went to the girl and put her arm around her. "You did the right thing, Lou. I know it's hard, but you did."

Lou let herself feel the comfort of her friend's arm around her for a moment. "It is hard to do," she agreed. "But it's the only way."

"Won't it be hard seeing him at the station, living with him in the same bunkhouse, though? You think you'll be safe? Emma, don't you think that - "

Lou snapped her head around to look at Rachel again. Pushing the woman's arms away from her, she said wearily, "Rachel, I broke up with him because he went to the brothel. That's all. I'm telling you he did not raise a hand to me, I promise."

Rachel looked at Emma, who shook her head.

"Okay," Rachel said slowly, getting Emma's hint. "I believe you. "

Lou looked relieved, and hugged Rachel, then Emma. "I'll see you back at the station, Emma, I've got to pick up some things for the children, go in and register them at the school, and then I'll be home."

"Sure thing, Louise."

Lou's dejected small form went out the door and Rachel turned to Emma.

"Emma, why did you give me that look? Aren't you concerned about him sleeping in a bunk next to her?"

Emma pulled a chair out and gestured to Rachel. "Let's sit down and start talking in plain English, Rachel. Tell me why you think Kid hurt Lou, so I can decide what, if anything, I need to do."

Rachel sat down. "I think it because I saw it."

Emma stared in shock at the other woman. "You saw him strike her?"

"Well, no, but when she went upstairs in the evening, she was fine. The next morning the room looked like a tornado went through it, and she was beaten. I know I ain't had much formal schoolin' but I know how to add two plus two. Of course, she denied it. Said she fell in the room. But nobody gets bruises like she had, without a man's hands involved."

"She was bruised that morning, I remember, when she came back," Emma mused. "But she said she fell off her horse."

"There was no horse, Emma; she was covering up because she was ashamed. You know how often that happens."

"But of what," Emma murmured. "Of Kid or … was he there? "

"He'd stepped out for a half hour, maybe forty-five minutes, but she ran out of there to keep from seeing him."

Emma's heart was sinking but she couldn't believe it. Not Kid. She kept pressing. "Well, how did he look? If I know my Louise, she wouldn't have taken any beating without giving a little something back. Any marks on him? Did he seem guilty or upset?"

"Well, no," Rachel admitted. "He seemed surprised she was gone, now that you mention it. And there wasn't a scratch on him."

Emma put her head against her hand. "I know it looks bad, Rachel, but you don't know that boy like I do. I can't believe he would do anything to hurt a woman. Especially not Lou."

"He does have a temper, Emma. I've seen him fighting plenty of times."

"That's different," Emma insisted. "I'm telling you, there's something else goin' on. Was there anybody else in the hotel that might've heard something? Or done something to her?"

"Why wouldn't she tell if somebody else did this?" Rachel said, exasperated. "But there was another guest in the hotel. That pig Simon Wicks from the brothel and one of his whores."

Emma squirmed. She hated to think of going to Simon Wicks for any kind of information. "Well, did he say anything about any disturbance when he checked out?"

"No, he wasn't there when I came back and found Lou. Neither was the girl he stayed there with that night. But she came back a few hours later to settle their bill."

"Would you know her if you saw her again?" Emma asked.

"Her name was Charlotte, and yes I'd know her. But I think you're deluding yourself, Emma. Kid's guilty as sin and Lou is better off without him."

"He's innocent in my book until proven guilty," Emma said stubbornly. "And I'm going to Sam with this. He knows Lou's secret anyway, he figured it out same as we did months ago, and maybe he can help us out."

"Miss Edgars?" Lou said softly, standing in the doorway of the school. The pretty teacher looked up.

"Yes, may I help you?" she drawled in her Southern accent.

"I'm Lou McCloud," Lou answered in her gruff boy's voice. "I was hoping to speak to you about registering my brother and sister here."

"Your timing is perfect, Mr. McCloud. The children are at recess, so sit down and we'll take their information."

Lou sat down in a child's desk as directed, and Samantha looked at her curiously. "Have we met before?" she asked, noting that this young man was so small he fit in the desk without discomfort.

"No, but I saw you at the dance last month," Lou said. She remembered how beautiful Samantha was, with all the men clustered around her looking for a dance. But that triggered a memory of Kid taking her outside for a dance in the moonlight, and she winced sadly.

"That's right. You're one of the Pony Express riders, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Put the children's names, address, and dates of birth on here, Mr. McCloud," Samantha said, placing a paper on the desk and handing her a pen. After a moment, Samantha spoke again. "Tell me, are y'all going to the dance tomorrow?"

Lou sighed irritably, filling out the paper. She didn't want to be rude, but the last thing on her mind was some silly dance. "They probably will, I don't know."

"Do you think that one they call Kid will be there?" Samantha asked. She smiled shyly at Lou, wondering if she could enlist the small boy, who had stood by Kid's side most of the night, in getting to know Kid better. Kid was the only man at the dance who hadn't asked to put his name on her dance card. Samantha had talked to him only a few moments, but had been impressed by his quiet courtesy and Southern manners.

Lou stared at her a moment, and then handed her the paper. "I'm sure I don't know, Miss Edgars. I don't keep his social calendar," she said, her pain and jealousy too sharp for courtesy anymore. She may not think it was smart to stay with Kid, but her heart was not behaving the way her head told it to. She still loved him, and it was too much to expect her to help play matchmaker with his next woman. Looking Samantha over, she realized, though, that this was one of those women men marry, like Wicks said. No doubt Kid would think so once he realized Samantha was interested.

"Of course," Samantha answered, irritated. "I'll expect Jeremiah and Theresa tomorrow at nine sharp," she said, glancing at the paper.

"Thank you." Lou tipped her hat and showed herself out, as the children filed in to their seats.

Emma finished her story, Rachel sitting next to her in a chair across from Sam. The two women looked expectantly at the Marshal.

"And?" Sam asked.

"Well, that's it. I need you to talk to this Mr. Wicks person, and find out what happened."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Now listen, Emma. With that new brothel opening up I got all kinds of ne'er-do-wells wandering around town causing trouble. I got four drunks drying out in the jail here," he said, pointing to the cell. "This stack of wanted posters to attend to, and you expect me to run around questioning people about an assault that the victim ain't even reported to me?"

Emma flushed. "Well, it's just that Lou seems to need help, and she's too stubborn to ask for it."

"What do you expect me to do about that if she won't come in and make a complaint?"

"I expect you to do what's right, Sam Cain, and find out who's responsible for this and see he pays for it!"

Sam shook his head. "That ain't how it works, Emma. When and if she wants to pursue a complaint, I'll look into this."

"I can't believe you won't help, Sam, you -"

Sam was losing patience, but spoke calmly. "I'd love to help, Emma. But did it occur to you that it'll be damn hard to go around askin' questions about 'Louise McCloud', without giving away her secret? And that if it gets back to Russell, Majors and Waddell, she'll be fired? What'll she do with those two children and herself if that happens?"

"You can think of some way around that, if you wanted to, Sam. I'm telling you, a dangerous criminal is on the loose, and -"

Sam looked over at Rachel, who shrugged.

"Thing is, Emma, I sympathize with you for wanting to believe the best of Kid. He's always seemed like a nice young man. But I agree with Rachel. It sounds like the dangerous criminal is Kid."

"Sam! You can't believe that!"

"I go by the evidence, Emma. She was fine when she went in that hotel room with him. How else could it have happened?"

Emma stood up in a towering fury. "You know, I'm a little sick of everybody in this town havin' so little faith in a good friend. I won't believe that Kid did this until he or Lou says so, and that's final. And if you won't help me prove it, I'll do it myself."

"Just a word of advice, Emma."

She whirled at the door and stood with hand on hip, glaring at Sam.

"Remember what I said about Lou's secret. That little gal's life shouldn't be ruined on account of whatever happened, whether it's Kid or someone else who's at fault. It's her decision if she wants the culprit punished, not yours."

Emma hesitated a moment, but set her jaw and stomped out.

Kid flung the door open to the bunkhouse and threw his hat across the room, angrily. Hack and Jimmy looked up from their game of cards.

"Everything all right, Kid?"

"No, it ain't, Hack," Kid snapped. He stopped and looked again at the young Australian. "Listen. You're up to take a ride back toward your home station, aren't you?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

Kid hesitated a moment, then continued. "How'd you like me to take your ride for you? Trade home stations?"

Jimmy looked up, startled.

"Why'd you want that, Kid? This is the best home station on the route, with Miss Shannon's cooking and housekeeping."

"I just do," Kid muttered. "What do you say?"

"All right, if that's what you want."

Kid nodded, and started grabbing his things. "I'll send for the trunk later," he said, as Hack threw his cards down.

"Well, if I ain't taking my ride today, I'll head into town to check out that new brothel with Cody," Hack said merrily. "Thanks, Kid."

Jimmy sat watching Kid after Hack left.

"What the hell are you doin', Kid?"

"Leaving."

"But Lou's back, Kid. Her brother and sister are over at Emma's right now. Don't you want to see her and -"

"I saw her."

Kid turned away.

"And??"

"And, it's over. She thinks I cheated on her, and she don't want anything to do with me."

Jimmy laughed, uproariously, before seeing Kid's stricken face.

"She - - she thinks you cheated on her? Why?"

The light dawned on Jimmy suddenly. "She saw you at Wicks' place," he guessed.

"You knew what kind of place that was?" Kid flared. "You know I wouldn't set foot in there when I'm in love with Lou. Or otherwise, for that matter."

"I told Cody that. So why don't you just tell her the truth?"

"I tried."

"Well, Cody can tell her nothing happened, then."

Kid spun around. "You don't get it. She doesn't want to believe me, because she doesn't want me. This is an excuse; she won't even pretend to listen to my side. She just wants it over, that's all."

Jimmy stared at him. "Are you crazy? You've been sitting around here moping about her for two weeks, and now she's back you're not going to fight for her?"

"She's the one who ran off without a word. She's the one who thinks I'm capable of something like that," Kid said indignantly. "Lou gave up on us, I didn't." He finished packing and started out toward the doorway.

"How's it any different for you to run away from her without a word or a fight, Kid? Answer me that." At Kid's stubborn, hurt look, Jimmy groaned in irritation. "For Pete's sake, I don't know which of you is more pigheaded. You're a fool if you give up on her like this, when you supposedly love her so much."

"Well, you've always wanted your chance with her, now here it is," Kid snapped back, before storming out.

It had been a long couple weeks topped off by a long day, and Lou craved rest as she curried Lightning down in his stall. She dreaded dinner, going in and looking at Kid, and didn't know how she would be able to stand living in the same bunkhouse with him after what had happened between them. But she had no other choice, now that she'd had to take the children out of the orphanage.

Cody and Hack came in laughing and joking, and she looked irritably over her shoulder. Time to start pretending to be "Lou" again, she thought.

"Hey, Lou, yer back," Cody chortled. "Too bad you weren't around earlier. There's a new gentleman's club in town, you missed all the fun. Maybe next time, huh?"

"I'm not interested, Cody," she said disgustedly.

"I guess you wouldn't be," Cody said dismissively. "Just like Kid."

"What do you mean?" she said suddenly, stepping forward and looking over the stall door.

"Just I offered to treat him to a lady's company - the poor guy's been on edge for weeks, if anybody needs to get some, it's that guy - but he ran out of there like a scalded cat."

"He didn't - he didn't -"

Hack guffawed. "I've only known him a few weeks, Lou and even I could tell you that straight arrow would never indulge."

The innocent words hit Lou like a sledgehammer. Even Hack knew better. Even this man who barely knew Kid, and she - - she knew him better than anyone. And she'd doubted him, thrown his love back in his face. Her hands were shaking, and she turned and leaned against Lightning's neck.

Cody and Hack were chatting amiably about the girls at Wicks' when her small voice came over the side of the stall door. "Either of you see Kid out there?"

Hack called back, "Nah, Lou, he left on the last ride for me. He's going to be tradin' home stations with me. Lucky for me, eh?"

As the boys stood staring, she stumbled out of the barn blindly and ran, eyes filled with tears, to the bunkhouse. Flinging open the door, she ran to her bunk, looking to see if he left a note. Nothing; nothing on his bunk either.

She dropped to sit on the floor, the blood rushing in her head. She'd pushed him away when she needed him most - and he had left her like she deserved. And it was probably too late to fix the damage she'd done.

"You sure you won't come to the dance, Lou?" Emma said, though she knew the answer.

The girl sat on the porch swing, moodily staring into the distance. "No, thanks, Emma."

"He'll come back, honey, he loves you too much not to."

Lou didn't answer at all this time, but tried to smile valiantly when Jeremiah and Theresa came out on the porch.

"Come to the dance with us, Louise," Theresa wheedled. "It'll be fun."

"No fun for her," Jeremiah pointed out. "Not when she has to wear that disguise. Besides, you're so filthy all the time, you couldn't even go as a boy," he said bluntly.

Emma shushed the boy and sent him and Teresa down to the wagon. She'd been meaning to talk to Lou about that.

"Lou, you ain't gone into town in a week, not even to go to Tompkins' or the children's recital last night."

"I didn't feel like it."

"You ain't felt like much lately, have you, honey?"

"I'm doing my job and doing all the children's extra work. I'm tired, that's all."

Emma looked sideways at her. "And you miss him."

"Of course, but I better get over that. He'll never forgive me for doubting him. He's made that plain enough. If he still cared he could'a sent a letter back."

"Is that the only reason you're not going in to town or . . . or keeping yourself clean and fed, Lou?" Emma asked, softly.

She suddenly was tired, too tired to deny it anymore. Emma's motherly eyes were so kind. She could tell her. She had to tell somebody, or it would eat her alive inside.

Lou shook her head. "I can't go in to town. Mr. Wicks might see me."

Emma nodded, trying to wait and let Lou talk it through.

"I knew him in St. Joe. Worked for him."

"You did?"

Lou nodded. "In the laundry, of course. I was only thirteen."

Emma put an arm around her thin shoulders. "What did he do to you, Louise?"

Seeing Lou was finally ready to talk, Emma sent the children on ahead with the rest of the riders. Lou talked feverishly for long minutes, and Emma just listened, nodding encouragingly, knowing that the telling was doing the girl good.

"When I saw him in that doorway, I nearly died, Emma. It was like I was thirteen again, and it all came back over me again," she said piteously.

"He's the one who beat you, then?"

Lou nodded.

"Did he do anything else?"

"Yes," Lou said shortly. Emma bit her lip, and left it at that.

"Afterwards, I just wanted to get as far away from Sweetwater as I could. Next thing I knew, I had to go find Theresa and Jeremiah, and . . . "

"And then when you came back, you and Kid had that fight. Oh, Lou, if only you had told me or Rachel the truth- "

"It's too late for that now," Lou sighed. "I've ruined everything."

"It's not your fault, honey; you did the best you could under trying circumstances. But from now on, please know you can trust me."

Lou looked at her, dubiously. "So you won't tell anybody about this?"

"I think you should be the one to do that, if you decide it's right. But remember, Lou, what that man did wasn't your fault."

Lou nodded, then changed the subject. "Emma, you were going to the dance. The horse has been standing for an hour. Go ahead, Sam'll be waiting. I just want to go to bed."

"If you're sure," Emma said. Lou nodded.

"Well, you need some rest and a good bath, if I may be so bold," Emma said, wiping the tears from Lou's grimy face. "The tub is clean and in the kitchen if you want it."

She dropped her robe on the rocking chair next to the cook stove in Emma's kitchen, and settled into the bathtub tiredly, scrubbing furiously for several minutes.

She'd ruined everything with Kid, because she couldn't trust a man, even one as kind and honorable as Kid. Now she was alone; and some other girl would have Kid. It was too late to make amends, she should have believed in him when he told her he hadn't done anything wrong. But she wouldn't listen.

She sat bolt upright when the front door opened. Turning, frightened, she saw who it was through the kitchen door, coming in to Emma's house to set a package on the parlor table. "Emma? It's me, Kid. The stationmaster at Devil's Cross sent this for you."

She had no right. She'd hurt him too much.

But she called him anyway. "Kid? She's in town with everybody else at the dance."

"Lou?" he said cautiously, coming into the kitchen. He stopped short at the sight of her in the tub, and looked away.

"You need something?" he asked, a little awkwardly.

"I need to tell you I'm sorry."

He kept looking away from her, listening silently.

"I know, it's too little, too late. I should have believed in you." She looked down at the water, her arm crossed over herself protectively. Glancing back at her a moment, Kid suddenly blushed, clearing his throat, and moved behind the table. He pulled his jacket around himself, self-protectively.

"I got some demons, Kid," she said, awkwardly. "But they're my problem, not yours. Don't let what happened between us make you bitter, you're too good a man for that. And know that I'm truly sorry."

He nodded without a word, and then started around the table toward the door still without looking directly at her; but as he passed the tub, he stopped suddenly. Still looking away, he managed to speak, his voice shaking. "I'm sorry too, Lou. Sorry I couldn't make you happy. "

Though he was looking away, she heard tears in his voice. "I'll always love you," he finished, turning back to face her.

They remained frozen, staring at each other for a long moment.

Suddenly, she lurched from the bathtub with a splash, and caught him around the neck with both arms. He pulled her wet body to him desperately, kissing her mouth, her neck, her breasts. She was crying, tears flowing down her damp face, and yanking at his waist band. His hands were sliding over her, touching her everywhere, greedily.

Somehow, she could never later be sure just how, he landed in the tub with her, sending a wave of water onto Emma's clean floor. And then he was making love to her, gripping the top of the tub over her head with one hand. The other hand was under her neck, down her back, arching her up toward him as he rocked back and forth with her. His clothes were soaked to the skin, but they were beyond caring about that. All that mattered was straining to be as close as they could to each other, over and over again. Every rocking movement splashed a little more water over the side of the tub, and their moans filled the quiet room.

She found a sobbing, convulsing release in his arms, and then lay back shaking and spent against the tub, looking up at him adoringly. "I love you," she whispered sweetly, and he shouted her name a final time. As he panted, breathlessly, over her for a moment, she took the opportunity to unbutton his shirt, tossing it to the side of the tub in a soggy heap. She pulled the undershirt off next, murmuring, "We got this part backwards, didn't we?" She smiled softly up at him, as he tried to regain his composure, and traced over his chest with her fingertips. "I love you, Lou," he gasped, "I never stopped."

"Forgive me," she pleaded, a tear escaping from the corner of her eye. He wiped it away with his thumb and bent to cover her mouth with his again. This time they took their time, lingering over each touch, each motion. But after several minutes, the pace quickened again.

"Never let me go," she moaned, and he shook his head.

"You promise now," he ordered her, and she cried out her promise, her voice hoarse. She smiled and stroked his cheek. "I promise," she said again.

"You're going to catch your death of cold," he said, concerned. He pulled away from her gently, and stepped from the tub. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around her and pulled her to stand in front of the fire in the stove. He turned a moment to take clean clothes from a basket of laundry Emma had left on the table. She watched him strip off his wet boots, his soaked pants, and stood transfixed as he got dressed again. Picking up some of her small long-johns, he returned to her side and gently took the towel from her shoulders. He held out the bottoms and she clutched to his shoulders and stepped into them obediently, allowing him to draw them up along her legs, tie them around her waist. She took the shirt from his hands and slipped it over her head, while he pulled the rocking chair over from the corner and set it in front of the fire.

He sat down in the chair, and she took a blanket from the pile of laundry, stepping toward his open arms. She sank down into his lap and snuggled against him, covering them both with the blanket. "How long before they get back?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"Couple hours," she answered, resting her head on his chest.

He nodded and stroked her hair lovingly.

"I guess I owe you an explanation about why I ran off after we were together the first time, and why I was so damn quick to believe the worst," Lou's voice trembled.

He saw tears in her eyes, and bent to kiss her forehead reassuringly. "You already apologized for that, Lou, and I already forgave you. I was wrong to run away too, but I was mad," he admitted. "And hurt. But I came back because I couldn't bear not to see you again." His arms tightened around her. "It's up to you. I'm ready to listen if you're ready to talk about anything."

"I know I can trust you," she said haltingly. She hated to ruin this beautiful moment, hated to cause him pain by telling him something that couldn't be helped now. "Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow," she suggested.

"That sounds fine," he agreed, and rocked her in his arms. "But there is one question I would like an answer to," he said, leaning over and rummaging with one hand in the pocket of his wet jacket by the chair for something he had carried there for weeks now.

Producing a small bag, he looked into her eyes. "Will you marry me?" he whispered, slipping a beautiful ring on her finger as she nodded, speechless with happiness.

The next day, Lou refused to think about the ordeal of telling Kid the truth. They had been so miserable for the last month, she wanted to just enjoy being with him again; and wasn't sure how he would react to learning that their beautiful first time together, had been tainted by rape the next morning. But as he'd rocked her in his arms in Emma's rocking chair, she'd felt safe and strong enough to do what she'd known all along she had to.

After Jeremiah and Theresa were off to school, and their Express chores were done, Kid had suggested they go riding, but not wanting her out of arm's reach, he had saddled only one horse when she arrived at the barn.

"What about Lightning? You said you were saddling up for both of us."

"I did. Hang on behind," he said softly. She smiled, and nodded, and they were off in a few moments.

The landscape whisked by as Katy stepped along quickly, but neither of them paid much mind to it. It was enough just to be together again. The morning and early afternoon were gone before they knew it, and Kid said, "It's only about a mile into town from here. You want to go in and get something to eat in town?"

Lou's arms tightened reflexively around Kid.

"Lou? What's wrong?"

"Kid, we have to stop and talk."

Kid let Katy graze in a nearby meadow as Lou wandered to a fallen log and sat down. She looked at her hands and he sat beside her.

"I'm supposed to tell you what really happened last month, why I ran away."

"If you want to," he said, brushing a fallen leaf from her hair. "I told you I can wait until you're ready."

"I'll never be ready," she said heavily. "But I have to tell you because it's the same reason I don't want to go into Sweetwater again."

He was suddenly afraid, at the pained look on her face.

"Kid, I'm trusting you now. If I tell you something important, a problem I have, you have to promise you'll let me handle it my way. Can I trust you?"

His eyes fixed on hers. It wasn't fair, to ask that of him, she knew, but it was the only way. She knew what he would want to do when he found out. The same thing he did when Lambert had just blackened her eye; call out the man who hurt her, and either kill or be killed. But that couldn't happen again, not this time.

"Do you promise?"

He nodded, a lump forming in his throat, keeping him from speaking.

"There's no easy way to tell you this. I know you've been brought up to treat ladies a certain way, but out here, it's hard on women. Not everybody is like you, Kid. And I've told you before; I took this job to stay safe from men who'd take advantage of a girl on her own."

His hands tightened over hers, his face was getting pale, but he kept listening.

"I know about that. A man I worked for in St. Joe, when I was thirteen, showed me what that means first hand."

This was hard enough, and she didn't know how to keep going and tell him the rest. She couldn't look at him, at those pained eyes, when she did it. Squeezing her eyes shut, she whispered, "That man was at Rachel's that day."

She stopped, breathing steadily to try to calm down, and he swallowed, hard. "You got frightened when you saw him and ran away?" he asked. He took her face in gentle hands, his face and voice agonized. "I understand now, you must have felt so scared to see him again that you ran away -"

"He raped me again," she interrupted, the words rushing from her. "He beat me and raped me. I ran away because I was so ashamed. I couldn't face you after what he'd done to me."

She opened her eyes, surprised that he was silent. But a look at his deadly cold face frightened her.

"What's his name, Lou?"

"Kid, you promised to hear me out, listen to how I need to handle this."

"How? By hiding the rest of your life at the station so he won't see you? When I find him and kill him that problem will be taken care of."

"Not if he kills you, it won't."

"I'll take that chance."

She shook her head. "I don't want to do it that way. I want to go to Sam Cain and tell him what happened, press charges."

He looked incredulously at her.

She flushed, and went on bravely. "I want to stop hiding. I want him to pay, and I don't want anyone else hurt by him. Rape's a hanging offense, if he's convicted, he'll be executed."

"That's a big if," Kid said, tensely, "and it means you'll have to live it all over again when you tell Sam and then a jury."

"I know, and I know I'll lose my job when it all comes out," Lou said softly. "I'm going to have to get a job paying next to nothing, support the children somehow, and everyone in town will know I've been raped by that man. They'll also know we slept together in the hotel the same night."

"Why, Lou? Why go through all that, when I'm willing to call him out and end it for you -"

"Because, there's a chance you could get hurt," she said, smiling at him. "I won't allow it."

He bent his head over her lap, clenching his fists in her hands. His hatred and anger for this man was so intense, it blinded him, but she whispered in his ear. "I trusted you with this, Kid. I'm counting on you to stand by me now. Come with me to Sam's and we'll let the law handle it."

Sam wasn't in his office, however, putting a crimp in Lou's plan to march resolutely in and tell him everything. Her resolve seemed to waver a little when they stood outside his locked door.

"Change your mind, Lou? Sure you don't want me to take care of this for you instead of Sam?" Kid asked, quietly. "Tell me his name, Lou."

She glanced at him apprehensively. He looked like he'd aged ten years since they'd ridden out together. "I want to find him and kill him," Kid said, "please let me do this for you, Lou."

Though his voice was gentle, she shuddered at the look in his face. "Sam will handle it when we tell him, Kid."

"That man from the brothel stayed in the hotel that night, too. He's from St. Joe, like you said about the one who did this to you," Kid suddenly said toward her back as she turned to go look for Sam elsewhere. "I saw that woman he stayed with, in Tompkins' store while I was picking out your ring that morning. She said her and Mr. Wicks were in from St. Joe and staying at the old brothel. That's Rachel's place."

She turned pleading eyes on him. His face was immobile, but the eyes were flickering wildly as he stood on the sidewalk, thinking back.

"I didn't think much of it then. Didn't care what anybody else did or said that day, I was so happy. And the whole time I'm standing there like a fool, he's back at the hotel, and I'm not there to stop him."

"It's not your fault," she tried to tell him.

"I saw him outside the hotel, he had scratch marks on his face, from your hands, isn't that true?" he demanded, looking right at her again. She could see that he was starting to spin out of control. "You tried to fight him," he whispered, his mind unwillingly seeing the scene.

Emma appeared on the sidewalk, about to see Sam. "Everything okay, here, you two?"

"It will be if Lou lets me help her," Kid said.

"Trust me," Lou whispered back. "Like I trusted you, please, Kid."

"You've been hurt enough, why should you have to put yourself through anymore?" he argued.

"Because you promised me."

He put a hand on the side of her face, and forced himself to nod. As they stood there, a series of shots rang out in the new brothel down the road.

Simon Wicks was dead, that much was certain. But the "hows" and the "by whoms" were still unresolved. Whoever it was, had a grudge against the man, and knew him well. There was no sign of forced entry in his back office, where his body was found riddled with bullets. He'd let someone in the office and locked the door behind them. Then the person had turned on him. But who? Sam turned the question over and over in his head. There were fifty people in the brothel that afternoon, but none of them had any recollection of what Wicks was doing right before the shots rang out.

He knew Grace the ex-madam had been seen threatening him not too long ago. And none of the ladies in the establishment seemed too sorry he was dead. Charlotte Rowan in particular seemed almost gleeful when she was interviewed. Emma had insisted on being present for the interrogations, an embarrassing development but one that she left Sam no choice about. She had taken over the questioning from him at one point and found proof that Wicks had been alone in the hotel with Lou, but Sam pointed out that it didn't really matter now, since the man was dead. Emma pointedly remarked that Sam was just mad because she was right, after all. And she wasted no time in rubbing it in with Rachel at the next opportunity.

But none of this served to help solve this murder, Sam fumed. Teaspoon, who was acting part-time Sam's deputy as well as station master, remarked with unusual warmth that they shouldn't be wasting time looking for the culprit. Far as Teaspoon was concerned, whoever it was deserved a danged medal for "lancing that boil on the backside of humanity." Sam told him to shut it.

Kid, for his part, felt some disappointment at first, that he wasn't the one who killed Wicks. But soon he focused his energy more positively, working on trying to make Lou happy and succeeding.

The murder was never solved, a bit of a blot on Sam's good record, but Sweetwater folks moved on with their lives. Charlotte Rowan left the brothel now that Wicks was dead, and started a dress shop, renewing her friendship with Louise. Grace got a loan from Jack Devlin's bank to buy up the new brothel, after she used some old-fashioned persuasion on him, the oldest kind around. And things went back to normal, at least what passed for normal in the odd little town.

Only Lou knew the truth, of course. She learned it the night of the murder, when she read the children a bedtime story at Emma's; over Jeremiah's faint protests that he was too big for such stuff. She hummed him a little tune she remembered Mama humming to her back in the old house, and then started down the dark steps to head toward the bunkhouse, where only Kid was home, waiting for her. Everyone else was back in town for the rest of the Founder's Day festivities. A voice startled her in the hallway.

"I remember that tune, Louise."

She gasped, reaching for her gun, but cursed when she realized she had taken it off and left it at the bunkhouse. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, her voice shaking.

Her father smiled sadly. "Followed you into town, Sweet Pea," he said.

"Don't call me that," she said tensely. "I'm not your little girl anymore."

"So I heard," he sighed. "You had to grow up mighty fast, I guess. My fault, like everything else."

"What are you talking about," she snapped, eyeing his gun and inching toward the door.

"Don't bother making a run for it, Louise," he said wearily, sitting down at the kitchen table. "I came here to say goodbye, not to take the children."

"What?"

He nodded, slowly. "I was pretty mad at you at first, Louise, but . . . I know I'll never get the children away from you without killing you. And I can't do that." He looked down at his hands, thinking back. He wasn't a man who wasted much time in regret, but he had many where his family was concerned. And when push actually came to shove, he could never take his little girl's life.

"Well, then," Lou said, dumbfounded. She didn't know what was proper when entertaining your estranged criminal father in the kitchen. She had a strange urge to offer him some tea, which she set aside firmly.

He stared at her, sadness in his face, and she noticed, suddenly, the stains on his clothes. Blood. Seeing her look, he nodded. "I asked around in town where you were tonight. Found out from somebody that if you weren't at Founder's Day with the rest of the station folks, you probably were out here."

"Okay."

"But I started looking for you at an old business associate's place, though. He didn't know where you were, but he knew you."

Lou looked up, startled. Her father looked back, nodding and remembering.

"Mr. Boggs, this is a pleasant surprise," Wicks had greeted him. "What brings you to town?"

"Looking for something, Wicks." He'd nodded and looked around. "See you've got a new concern here. Not bad."

"Interested in a stake, Boggs?" Wicks had asked, hopefully.

"No thanks," he'd answered. He had no use for that line of business, really. Considered it women's work, but okay for a cowardly deviant like Wicks, he supposed. "I'm just passing through. Looking for a young lady."

"Well, then you came to the right place," Wicks joked.

He laughed shortly. "She wouldn't be here. I'm looking for a girl named Louise McCloud."

Wicks looked up in surprise. "What are you looking for her for?"

"She stole something from me, and I intend to make her give it back."

Wicks grinned. "In fact, I do know that little minx, Boggs. Very well, and I enjoyed her company quite a lot the last time I saw her. Sorry to say, she didn't enjoy mine as much, but you know, after being with whores day in and day out, I have to say it was a nice switch to be with a woman who fights back. Of course, she lost out in the end."

"You raped her?"

"Sure, and it wasn't the first time, either. Had her in St. Joe five years ago, too," Wicks bragged.

He'd looked down while Wicks was distracted by a whisper from one of the girls.

"Listen, Boggs, I have to take care of something in the office. Come on back for a minute, I've got some cigars and brandy back there. Maybe I could change your mind about being partners in this business."

He'd followed the man back into the office, locking the door surreptitiously behind him as Wicks rummaged in the cabinet. He kept thinking of Louise, at eight years old, with big brown eyes sparkling as she rode her small pony beside him on the riding path. "Look at me, Daddy! On my own pony! Thank you," she'd beamed at him. "I love you, Daddy."

Lou sat watching the man who was her father, moodily staring down at his hands. "So you killed him."

"He messed with the wrong man's daughter."

"Of course," Lou sighed, looking away.

"Louise, I always loved you children, no matter what I'm guilty of. I came back for all of you." She was silent. "You're doing all right for yourself, I see," he said, noting the ring on her left hand.

"Yes." She fiddled self-consciously with her ring, feeling her father's eyes on her, but couldn't help a slight smile.

"I don't remember being asked for my blessing, but I suppose I can let that go."

She chuckled in spite of herself. "So what now?"

"So, I'll go to a different compound and lay low. Let you take care of the children, it's probably best," he said.

"I think so."

He nodded and reached for his wallet. "Take this."

She looked at the pile of money on the counter, enough to buy a ranch and run it for at least a couple years. "I can't take that, Dad. That's dirty money."

"It's just money. And I owe it to you and the children. Take it. You can buy a horse ranch. You always loved to ride, remember?"

She nodded, gathering up the money, and looked up with the big wide eyes he remembered. "Thank you, Daddy."

"There you are," Kid said, looking up. "Was a little worried, that must've been a long story. How'd your brother and sister take it when you showed them your ring and told them about you and me?"

Lou had almost forgotten about that, in the shock of seeing her father again. "Well, they were happy, of course."

"Guess you have to take the ring off, now," Kid said regretfully. "Till you're ready to stop working anyway."

He laid the book he'd been reading on the table, and went to his coat. "I got you something when we were in town today."

"Kid, you didn't have to! This ring is beautiful and must have been more than you could afford."

He waved the matter aside. "You need something to wear it on besides your finger, something the others won't see." He turned and held out a gold chain, and reluctantly she slipped the ring off her hand and onto the chain.

"Put it on for me?"

He fastened the chain behind her head, noting that her hair was shorn so short that he didn't need to lift up her tresses to do it. Her hair had been to the nape of her neck before . . . he swallowed, and put his arms around her protectively from behind as she slipped the ring under her shirt and undershirt. He pressed his lips against her neck, and she sighed contentedly.

"Kid?" she said reluctantly. "There's something I need to tell you, since we agreed to be honest with each other." He stopped nuzzling her neck, and she hastened to add, "It's not anything bad that happened to me, Kid, don't worry."

"What is it, then?" he asked patiently, turning her around and holding her hands.

"My father was just here. He's the one who killed Wicks."

"He is?"

"Yes. I didn't have my gun, so I couldn't make him stay, turn him in for -"

"Why would you have done that?" Kid asked. "He was avenging his daughter's honor, there's nothing wrong with that. I'd do the same if anybody did that to our daughter."

"Our daughter?" she asked, teasingly.

"When we have one," he said, as if it was just a matter of fact. He tipped her head back. "She'll be beautiful, with big eyes like a deer's, and warm brown hair, and -"

"Keep going," she joked.

"And I'd kill any man who hurt her the way you've been hurt. Of course, he should have called him out, that's the proper thing."

Lou hid a smile at Kid's sense of propriety, as he continued.

"I can't fault him for what he did to Wicks . . . but I don't understand, what about Jeremiah and Teresa?"

"He says he won't take them now," she said. "He's leaving them here, and gave me this." She pulled the money from her pocket and showed it to him. Kid's eyes boggled, as the envelope contained five thousand dollars in large bills.

"When I proposed, I had no idea I was marrying money like this," he teased. She slapped his chest.

"But shouldn't I tell Sam the truth? What if somebody else gets arrested for this - "

"They won't. Grace and Charlotte are the two prime suspects and they had solid alibis. Grace was in bed with Jack Devlin upstairs, and Charlotte wasn't even at the brothel. She was down the street at Tompkins' looking at dress patterns, for heaven's sake. Emma was looking right at you and me, who'd be the other two main suspects, when the shots rang out, so our alibi is pretty solid."

"I know. But I feel like an accomplice somehow."

"I think this is one secret it's okay to keep," he said, "but it's your decision."

She thought of her father's face as he said goodbye, after he trusted her with his confession. Somewhere deep down, he was still her father, still the man who taught her to love horses, who read her bedtime stories, who loved her. Yes, he was also a criminal, a gunrunner. But . . . how could she turn him in for avenging her?

"I think I'll just forget about it, then," she said reluctantly. "Unless somebody else gets arrested."

"Fine," he agreed, smiling.

"Do you think it's all right for me to use this money for a horse ranch, Kid?"

"I think it's more than all right. You deserve it, and the children will have a fine home there."

She smiled. "And you too, someday, right?"

"That goes without saying," he said, slipping his arms around her waist. She went up on tiptoe and he bent down to kiss her, like they always did, and at first the kiss was like it always was. But after a minute, Kid pulled away, uncertain.

Her head dropped against his chin, and she whispered, "What is it?"

"I - - I'm not sure - - are you okay?"

She looked up sadly. "I'm fine. Are you?"

He wet his lips, nervously, and she looked at him. "Kid, I'm fine. Nothing's changed between me and you, remember last night? I'm not afraid of you; we can be the same as before, if - if you want me still."

He looked at her again, and she held her breath. Would it be true? Would Wicks be right, that every time he looked at her, he'd think of Wicks on top of her, ravaging her? But his eyes weren't showing revulsion or anything like it, only concern for her.

"If you need me to stop, you only have to say so," he whispered, bending down and sweeping up her legs to carry her to his bunk.

"Don't stop," she murmured as he set her down gently.

Their clothes slid onto the floor beside the bunk, and soon enough they were joined together, the ring on its chain sliding between their skin until Lou pulled it off, slipping it on her finger again and placing the chain carefully on top of her clothes. She wrapped her arms around him and for the time, they felt as if time stood still around them as they became one being again.

"I could get used to all these dances and excitement," Cody said, as the riders walked toward the steps. "Wish Founder's Weekend was every weekend."

"I've had enough of it myself. I don't think I can eat anything else the whole weekend," Noah groaned.

"But there's the Ice Cream Social tomorrow," Cody protested. "You don't want to miss that, I'm going to be first in line."

"I hope not, or there won't be anything left for the rest of us," Jimmy kidded him.

"Looks like Kid and Lou are still up, the lights are on," Buck commented.

Jimmy looked alarmed, and started to call out to Cody. "Cody, knock first -"

"What are you talkin' about, Jimmy?" Cody opened the door and stood open-mouthed in shock.

Kid and Lou were fast asleep on Kid's bunk, despite every lamp in the bunkhouse being lit and ablaze, and the covers were kicked off the bunk along with every stitch of clothes they had.

"What the hell! A - - a girl - - - and you - - -" Cody erupted, as Noah quickly covered Jesse's eyes with his hand and shoved him out the door.

"Don't tell me, this isn't what it looks like, right?" Jimmy teased, as he bent and handed Lou her long johns. "We'll be outside while you two get dressed." As he shoved the confounded riders out the door, he grinned back at them. "And congratulations, you two. It's about time."

The group settled into their seats for a long talk once Kid and Lou were decently dressed again.

"So you knew about this?" Cody demanded of Jimmy.

"Found out a month or two after Kid here, agreed to keep their secrets," Jimmy grinned, taking a drink of coffee.

"And you, Emma?"

"Oh, I knew from the first. It amazes me to this day that Mr. Spoon and y'all were so easy to fool. Especially y'all, after all you been livin' with a girl in the same room all this time and never suspected," Emma teased.

*I had a feeling.*

"Oh come on, sure you did," Cody exploded. "You just never said nothing?"

*It was none of my business. Figured if I was right she would tell when she was ready. And if I wasn't I didn't want to say anything.*

Jesse was staring at the young couple, his eyes like saucers. "And you two, well, you're -"

"Never mind that, young man," Emma reprimanded, passing him a plate of cookies. She glared at Lou and Kid, who shrank down in their seats, mortified anew.

"We're engaged," Kid pleaded feebly.

"Engaged ain't married," Emma said sternly. "And I won't tell you again to remember the difference, while you're under my roof. Understand?"

"Yes ma'am," Lou mumbled through a mouthful of cookie.

Buck punched Kid in the arm. "So you're getting married? Congratulations, you two."

"Not for a long while yet," Lou interrupted, avoiding Kid's eyes. "Got a lot to do to get ready between now and then."

Jeremiah and Theresa frowned, looking at each other.

"How long an engagement you planning?" Jeremiah demanded.

Kid looked over at Lou questioningly.

"When we set a date, y'all will be the first to know," she said evasively.

"We'll all be invited, then?" Noah asked, teasingly.

"Of course. You're our family," she said softly. "I hope you'll keep my - our - secrets until then. I need this job until we're ready to start out on our own."

Kid's eyes were a little confused, as he thought about the five thousand dollars Lou had gotten from her father and the tidy sum of money he'd managed to save since working here. What is she talking about? he wondered.

"Of course we will," Buck answered Lou, as the others nodded vigorously. "It'll be fun putting one over on ol' Teaspoon, at that," Cody chuckled, just before the door opened.

"Well, y'all didn't get enough sweets at the Social?" Teaspoon asked, coming in and sitting next to Lou. "Don't mind if I do," he said, taking one of the cookies Emma offered. "What're y'all doin' up so late?"

"Just talking about the Social," Emma lied smoothly. "But finish your cookies, boys, it's time for bed."

Author's Note: Thank you so much to Paola and Dede for your betas and to Mercy and Catsimmie for encouraging me on Live Journal with your comments on this story!

Email Ellie

HOME