A/N: This story was inspired by catsimmie's husband Tom. He wondered what difference it might have made to fans of the pairings if it had been Jimmy and Lou from the beginning, with Kid as the 'fling'. Well, Tom, here's my fic exploring just that!
Strutting past Kid, who was seated at the bunkhouse table writing a letter, Jimmy commented, "You're up, Kid."
Kid looked up distractedly. "Dang it. I've been tryin' to get this fool letter written for a week," he muttered. "Not much of a hand at writing." He stood and looked for someplace to put the letter while he took his ride.
"Tell you what, Kid. I was hoping to do a little business of my own in that direction since my last trip through Jenner's Cove." Jimmy grinned, thinking of a pretty redheaded girl who'd caught his eye in the small town. "I'll trade rides with you and you can finish your letter," he offered.
Kid hesitated. Truth be told, he wasn't all that eager to finish the letter. He'd put it off nearly three years now. But he owed it to her to finish it, to clear his debt, to keep his promise. He finally decided. "Sure, Jimmy, I'll trade with you."
As Jimmy nodded and ran out to take the handoff from Ike, Kid sighed and sat down with his letter again. He looked at the name on the envelope as he withdrew the single sheet from it again. Doritha Simmons. He hadn't seen her since they were fifteen, and he was nearly eighteen now. He reckoned she might have changed as much as he had. He wondered if they'd even recognize each other now. Wondered if she even thought much of him nowadays . . . he was ashamed to admit he rarely thought of her anymore. Leastways not the way he had the first few months after he left Virginia. At first, he thought of her what seemed like a hundred times a day. Times were tough at first, just surviving on his own, and he couldn't send for her, not until this job had come along.
But in the meantime, she started crossed his mind less and less until her memory intruded itself only in the form of nagging guilt. He could barely remember what she looked like. His mouth felt dry as he took his pen again and looked at the paltry lines he'd managed to write so far. He'd started this letter reluctantly when he'd gotten the Express job, but up to now he'd been so busy he'd somehow never found the time to finish it. Training, and all, he thought to himself by way of excuse, then shook his head guiltily.
You made a promise, he lectured himself. You promised when you got settled you'd send for her. You owe it to her to write, keep your promise. A gentleman is only as good as his word. He couldn't help the sneaking hope that something would happen, like it always seemed to, to keep him from finishing the letter. But he now had an unexpected day off, no excuses, nothing to keep him from doing his duty. He found himself holding on to a hope; maybe it's the same for her. Maybe she's forgotten about you too, even got a new fella. Then you can just pay her back the money you owe her and put this behind you.
Jimmy rode into the station yard and saw immediately something was wrong. Uneasily, he glanced around. Damn it . . . it's Lou, he realized, startled. Someone had shot the little runt off his horse. Cursing, Jimmy leaped from his own horse and raced to the small form on the ground, turning him over.
He was relieved when Lou groaned. "So you're alive," he chuckled. "Hang on, I'll get ya in the house and see to ya."
He hauled the smaller boy up, noting that he was as light as a child, and then carried him into the house, setting him down on the bed.
"Looks like ya got a nasty wound there, let me see," he directed, starting to pull up on Lou's shirt.
"Stop," the boy said weakly, pushing Jimmy's hands away irritably. "Don't need any help."
Jimmy looked back as irritably. "Suit yourself," he snapped. "If you're so okay, then I guess you don't need me to hang around?"
Lou nodded stubbornly. "No, I don't. Just send somebody back here with a horse for me, and I'll be fine," he managed, though the blood was steadily spreading on his shirt and he was paling with pain. He leaned back against the bed and put a hand over his eyes. "Just go," he whispered, desperately.
Jimmy stood uncertainly, looking toward the door, then back again. When he returned his eyes to the bed, he saw that Lou had passed out again.
Sighing, he leaned over the bed and quickly stripped off Lou's vest and shirt to see to the wound, then drew back, startled. Holding Lou's blood-soaked shirt in his hand, he gawked openly a moment, then grinned, shaking his head.
"You got yourself plenty of spunk," he acknowledged softly, looking around the house for a bed sheet to tear into a bandage to staunch the bleeding. He tended to the wound and replaced her shirt, chuckling to himself, then went to the corner to wash his hands.
Sitting by the bed, he set his feet on the edge and leaned back on two chair legs, waiting for her to wake up.
"Kid, it's lights out time," Cody called. "You done fussin' over that little love letter yet?"
"Shut up, Billy," Kid said absently, folding the letter up.
*Who are you writing to?* Ike signed, curious.
Kid forced a smile, though in truth his mouth was still dry and rough as cotton as he signed his name and put the letter in the envelope. "A girl back home," he answered.
"So it is a love letter," Cody said, triumphantly. "I knew it. What's her name, Kid?"
"Doritha Simmons."
Cody waited expectantly. "And? She your gal?"
"Well, she used to be," Kid hedged. "That was a while ago. I don't know if she still feels the same. I ain't written in a while," he admitted, guilt creeping over him again.
"Love 'em and leave 'em, eh, Kid?" Cody teased.
Kid shook his head, exasperated. "Cody, I don't want to talk about it."
"Aw, come on. How about a few details," Cody urged, climbing into his bunk. We've all told you plenty of great stories, now it's your turn."
"I never asked for any stories, Billy."
"You never exactly left the room, neither," Cody protested. "Come on, Kid. Let's have a few war stories."
Kid threw himself on the bed, turning his back on Cody. He had no intention of discussing Doritha with Cody. Staring at the wall, he mused darkly. He'd kept away from girls for the most part since leaving Virginia. Partly because he had no money and at times no home, so courting girls wasn't exactly a priority. But mainly, his inexperience with girls was because he felt a sense of loyalty to Doritha, even as her memory had faded. Nobody had come along who'd been special enough to make him forget that he was promised to another. But he sighed, thinking how lonely it got sometimes.
Lou woke, groaning, and saw Jimmy smiling mischievously at her.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," he teased.
She stared at him sullenly, feeling her ribs gingerly. "I take it you know."
"Know what?"
Lou cocked her head. "Come on, Jimmy, cut the small talk. You bandaged me up, so you saw."
He shrugged, smiling smugly. "Nothing I haven't seen before."
Lou turned red. "Are you going to keep quiet about this, Jimmy?"
"Don't see why not."
Relieved, Lou relaxed a little. "Thanks, Jimmy. I really need this job."
He shrugged again. "Fair enough. After all, you ride as tall as any man as I've ever seen. No reason you can't keep on with the job." Glancing out the window, he saw the other riders approaching.
"Here come our reinforcements. You up to ridin'?"
Her eyes shone, and she nodded, getting up and reaching for her gunbelt.
Jimmy grinned as the last can spun in the air, hit dead center as it flew.
"Some nice shootin', Jimmy," Lou called, as she approached from behind, making sure he'd heard her in plenty of time. It didn't do to sneak up on Jimmy, she'd noticed.
"Thanks," he said, grinning widely and holstering his weapon. "You did a nice job today yerself helping with those outlaws."
"For a girl, I suppose?" Lou said, scowling just a little.
"For anybody," he acknowledged. Looking her up and down, he observed, "You got a big chip on your shoulder, don't you?"
"Takes one to know one," she countered.
"I ain't complainin'." His gaze was admiring, and she looked away, blushing.
"Well, anyway, thanks for not sayin' nothin' to the others. I ain't sure all of 'em would go along with me workin' here."
"I don't know 'em all that well yet, but I think they'd keep your secret too. But have it your way."
She nodded. "Maybe you're right, but the fewer folks that know, the less chance of it slippin' out somehow to Teaspoon or Emma."
"Reckon that's so."
The two of them stood silently a moment, before he spoke again. "I never did ask you. What's your real name, anyhow?" he asked softly.
"Louise," she replied shyly. He had drawn closer until they were only a few inches apart. For some reason she was trembling a little at his nearness, this wild, reckless boy who was the first person to know her secret in four years.
"Well, Louise, I'm looking forward to getting to know you better," he said huskily, tipping her head up to look into her big eyes. She nodded, closing her eyes as he bent to kiss her lips softly as the sun sank below the horizon.
Lou rode up and handed the mochila off to Buck, then swung down and led her horse into the barn. Seeing Kid in deep conversation with his mare Katy, she smiled. She didn't recall ever seeing a fella quite as attached to a horse, and while the others made a little fun of the quiet Southern rider for it, she secretly found it endearing. Deepening her voice, she called, "Hey, Kid."
He turned and nodded, smiling. "Hey, yourself."
"Your lucky day, Kid. One of the letters I picked up is for you. Ain't often one of us gets somethin' by Pony Express, must be important," she remarked, handing him the thin letter.
Lou led her horse into the stall and started unbuckling the saddle, then glanced over at Kid reading his letter. At the look on his face, she became concerned.
"Not bad news, I hope, Kid."
He looked up, his face a little troubled. "No," he said shortly, before stuffing the letter back in the envelope.
"Okay," Lou mumbled uncertainly.
Kid looked up at the younger "boy." Lou always seemed more sensitive, less likely to make fun than the others. Maybe I can talk to him about this mess.
"It's from a girl back home."
"Really?" Lou said, curious. "Your sweetheart?"
He looked down at his hands. "My fiancée."
"Really?" Lou exclaimed, coming over and sitting next to Kid. "I had no idea you were engaged, Kid."
"Well, we're sort of engaged. I guess," Kid struggled. "I never actually proposed, but we had an understanding. I told her when I left Virginia, I'd send for her when I got settled. So I guess that makes us engaged, I don't know."
"How long since you saw her?"
Kid shifted. "Almost three years."
Lou was surprised again, but refrained from another outburst. "I guess you've been writin' back and forth all that time, though."
At his briefly shamed expression, Lou's face turned grave. "You haven't been writing?"
"I know I should've. But it's tough getting by out here. With all the moving around I had to do, taking jobs when and where I could, I got busy and time kind of passed by. Truth is, I've changed a lot, and I barely can remember what she even looks like now." He fumbled with the paper in his hands. "But I made a promise, and I didn't keep it. There's no real excuse."
Lou was silent, but not in a judgmental way. She certainly wasn't one to criticize him for this. She'd meant to keep in touch with her brother and sister, but five years had gone by since she'd even seen them. Both she and they were probably totally different now. She doubted she'd even recognize Theresa if she saw her now. Yes, she knew how it was.
Patting Kid's shoulder encouragingly, Lou said more brightly, "So you must have written with your address, since she knew where to send that letter?"
"Yes, I told her I was working for the Pony Express now, and things were settled. I offered to have her come out here like I promised her three years ago."
"What did she say?" Lou prompted.
Kid met Lou's concerned brown eyes. "She's coming," he said, flatly.
Lou chose her words slowly. "You don't seem very happy about it."
Kid broke a piece of straw and placed half in his mouth, flinging the other half on the stable floor. "It's just, I don't know what to expect. It's been so long. I don't know if . . ."
"If you still feel the same, is that it?" Lou asked kindly.
Kid shrugged and nodded.
"Why don't you just tell her you don't know how you feel anymore?"
"It doesn't matter. She counted on me to send for her, waited three years for me. Now, she says her pa died and they lost everything. I'm all she has, and if I hadn't let her wait for me all this time, she wouldn't be a poor old maid."
"She can't be all that old, Kid. Callin' her a poor old maid is a little strong, isn't it?"
His guilt-ridden gaze went to the barn ceiling. "She's so poor, so alone, she says she just had enough money to pay for this letter and get herself a ticket as far as St. Joe. I'm going to have to go there and pick her up, take her the rest of the way here." He looked back at Lou. "If I hadn't asked her to her wait around for me, she could've married a rich man, and at least been taken care of. Now that she's poor, she's lost that chance."
"I expect if she was willing to wait for you, knowing you're not rich nor likely to be, she doesn't care that much about money."
Kid smiled a little at Lou's earnest words. "Maybe you're right. And maybe once we see each other again, it'll all come back. The old feelings, you know?"
Lou tried to be optimistic. "I'm sure it will, Kid. You plan on waiting a few weeks at least to marry, to make sure, right?"
Kid hesitated. "Seems she expects to get married when we meet up in St. Joe."
Lou gaped at him. "Kid, you . . . you really are going to marry her first thing, after not seein' her for three years? "
Before Kid could answer, Jimmy and Buck came into the barn, laughing, and Kid quickly stood and stuffed the letter in his shirt pocket. With his eyes, he pleaded with Lou not to say anything about his news, and Lou nodded in comprehension.
"C'mon, you two. Let's get out to Tompkins and get them supplies Emma asked for," Jimmy called, saddling up Sundancer.
The straw hat was fanciful, covered with ribbon and big pink silk flowers. Lou couldn't resist picking it up and turning it over, her eyes softening in admiration. Jimmy sidled up to her, casually. "Pretty," he whispered teasingly. "Why not get it? Say it's for a friend or something."
Lou flung it back, shaking her head. "Don't exactly match the rest of my outfit," she pointed out.
"Maybe not," he chuckled, picking it back up. "But maybe sometime it'd come in handy, if'n you ever feel like dressing up like the pretty girl you are, maybe have a special night on the town?"
Before she could protest, he plunked the hat down on Tompkins' counter. "Wrap it up, Tompkins. It's a present for a special lady." Jimmy winked at Lou mischievously, as Tompkins took down a hat box.
As Jimmy counted out the money for the present, Lou blushed madly standing beside him, her head downcast. "Jimmy," she whispered. "Are you sure you want to spend your money on that?"
"Sure I am. There's a pretty girl I know who deserves it," he answered, his eyes flicking to Tompkins. When Tompkins turned his back, Lou's eyes shone up at Jimmy adoringly. He blushed in turn at her look, and the two jumped slightly when a voice rang out in the store.
"Who owns that palomino out front?"
Lou and Jimmy turned, and saw a tall, well-built man in his late thirties standing with a smirk on his face, waiting for an answer.
"She belongs to all of us," Kid said.
The man paused, with an exaggerated calm, before continuing in a condescending voice, "I'll make this easier. Who was riding her a couple hours ago on the trail south of town?"
Lou heard Cody whispering that it was John Longley, a gunfighter he'd seen kill a man in Barton Creek. She peeked up at Jimmy, worried that Longley was looking for him.
Lou felt Jimmy tense next to her, as he cut off Cody's attempt to defuse the situation by announcing, "That'd be me."
"Well, you owe me an apology, boy."
Cody tried to help again, interjecting, "Sounds fair to me."
Jimmy ignored Cody, blurting, "Apology? For what?"
"For the mud bath I took when you spooked my horse."
Lou prayed silently that Jimmy would just let the matter go; but his next words dashed that hope.
"Well, if I spooked your horse I didn't mean to," he scoffed arrogantly.
The gunfighter smirked back, pleased that Jimmy was not backing down. "No; that doesn't sound like an apology to me."
Jimmy's mouth curled in a sneer. "Sorry . . . But apologizin's somethin' I only do on Sundays. This here's Tuesday."
Lou's heart sank within her. Oh, Jimmy, why? Why make this worse? she thought, worried nearly sick at her friend's recklessness with this ruthless hired killer.
Longley snapped back, "Oh, you have no manners. Did your mother breed you in the gutter?"
Jimmy flared back, "Don't you talk about her!"
Lou clutched desperately at his arm as he started to lunge toward Longley. At her touch, Jimmy glanced into her eyes a moment. She anxiously shook her head. "Don't, Jimmy," she beseeched quietly.
"All right, I've wasted enough of my time now, boy. Either you apologize, now, as though you mean it, or step outside, where I'll exact restitution," Longley proclaimed.
Lou felt tears forming in her eyes, and ducked her head to hide them. She and Jimmy had become closer since he'd agreed to keep her secret, and she'd dreamed that maybe they could be even more than friends. If Jimmy went out in the street with Longley, he would kill or be killed . . . and there was nothing she could think of to do about it.
Already, Jimmy was storming after the gunfighter, despite Kid's warnings; already, the two were facing each other in the street; Lou was holding her breath without realizing it, when suddenly Kid lurched from the sidelines and knocked Jimmy out. Lou let out the breath in a rush. Thank God, she thought, relieved.
But Longley called out to Kid as they loaded Jimmy into the wagon, "You saved your friend's life. For now." She felt a chill run through her at the man's words, but as he said, at least for now Jimmy was safe.
Lou looked up as Jimmy came into the bunkhouse, covered in sweat, wearing only his long johns.
"Danged Teaspoon and his danged sweat lodge," he spluttered, rubbing his head. "I passed out and hit my head on the way down."
Lou blushed at the sight of Jimmy wearing only damp long johns. She put down her book and went over to him. He was throwing his clothes up on the bunk, and he turned unexpectedly just as she reached him. They bumped into each other, and she stood, awkwardly, looking up into his eyes.
"What's goin' on, Jimmy?" she asked softly. "Why're you looking for a fight so hard?" She cast her eyes down, fidgeting with the blanket on the bunk next to her head. "I'm scared you're gonna pick a fight with the wrong fella pretty soon and . . ." She turned away, embarrassed as her voice was choking with suppressed tears. She brushed her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Lou," he said, his voice low, sending a thrill through her. He turned her by the arm. When she faced him, he reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Don't be scared, I can handle myself," he said, smiling at her. "That fella Longley is the one who don't know who he's messing with, not the other way round. You'll see."
Lou searched his face. She wanted to tell him, beg him, plead with him to stop this before it was too late, before he killed someone - - or worse, got killed himself. But she could see it would be no use, like telling the lightning not to flash, like asking a wild animal not to charge when cornered. She shook her head, and he smiled mockingly, ducking his head down so he could meet her eyes.
"Still upset, huh?" he teased. She nodded, blinking back tears. He took her hand in one of his. "Why? You like me enough to be worried if I live or die?" he said, his voice deep and velvety to her ears. She looked up sharply.
"I care more about that than you seem to," she snapped, jerking her hand away. As she tried to storm off, he pulled her arm around and bent to kiss her, backing her against the bed post. He pressed his half-dressed body flush against her, and slid his arms tightly around her waist. She melted into his kiss, letting him open her mouth with his. Letting his hands slide down and pull her closer. Somehow, her arms were around his neck, as the world slowed to a standstill in his arms.
When he pulled back a moment for breath, she whispered, "Please don't do anything crazy, Jimmy."
He looked directly into her eyes, and she saw behind the mask a moment. "I'm sorry, Lou, but -"
They heard voices on the porch and she wrenched herself free, turning and covering her mouth as the others milled their way in the door. Trying to collect herself, she glanced over at Jimmy, acting just like his old self, boasting and posing, as if nothing had just happened between them.
But it was too late; she'd seen his heart for a moment, seen the sensitive boy underneath that pose. She glanced down, knowing full well that he'd die rather than betray his sense of pride before anyone but her.
Gathering her resolve, Lou approached the hotel, tied off her horse, and asked the night clerk what room Mr. Longley was in. "Got a special delivery for him," she lied, holding up an envelope. "Better run it up."
She found herself nervous outside the hotel room. The door, the hallway with its stale odors lingering, reminded her of another cheap establishment where her life had changed forever, four years before. She gathered her courage and tapped firmly.
"Who is it?" Longley called.
"Pony Express, special delivery, sir," she said gruffly as she could manage.
"Come on in."
Lou came in and shut the door, before turning and reeling at the sight of Longley lounging in the bath. He had a watch in his hand - Emma's gold watch, she saw at a glance. "Was - was Emma here?" she stammered.
"That's none of your concern. Where's my letter?" he said, his eyes flickering over her through his glasses.
She faltered, now that the moment was here. "I - I don't have a letter," she admitted. "I come here about Jimmy Hickok."
Longley stood and stepped from the bath. Lou went pale with fear, though she reassured herself that he wouldn't harm her- he didn't know she was a woman, after all.
He approached her, draping a robe over his arms but not tying it in front.
"Do tell. I've already had one tempting offer today, but let me hear yours, Miss -?"
She turned to run out, but the enormous man gripped her by her arms and dragged her toward the bed, sitting her down abruptly.
"Don't go running off before we've had a chance to get properly acquainted, now," he said, his face grinning like an insane jack o' lantern, terrifying her more than even an angry aspect would. He's crazy, she thought, desperately. She knew his men were outside, ready to back him up. Why on earth did I come here? she thought. As if reading her mind, he stood up and asked her that very question.
"I thought I could pay you off, get you to leave without bothering Jimmy again," she whispered.
He stared at her with that same empty, false smile. "I see. Well, let me make something pretty clear." He leaned over her, his robe falling open. "I'll take an apology from that young fool, or nothing, understand? You run home and tell him that. After I give him another incentive to want to fight," he snarled, grabbing her and forcing her back down on the bed, tearing at her clothes with a violence out of proportion to his exaggerated genteel manner. Her courage returning, she kneed him in the groin, and then ran from the room while he laughed behind her. She staggered down the hallway, clutching her torn shirt together. In the stairwell, she was shocked to run straight into Jimmy's arms.
"Lou? What are you doin' here? Look at me, Lou," he ordered, turning her by the arm. She was holding her ripped shirt together, and tried to look away. "What's happened? Did somebody hurt you?"
The light dawning, his face went hard, and he shook her slightly. "Longley?" he demanded.
She stammered, trying to deny it, but he turned her face up to his. "Did he put a hand on you?" His eyes were hard and glittering, but his voice was gentle and strangely calm.
"More than a hand, Hickok," Longley lied smoothly, coming down the stairs buttoning his vest, his two men behind him. "I had a good old time with your little friend here, though I'm sorry to say she didn't find it as enjoyable."
"He's lying, Jimmy. I got away before he could do anything," Lou stammered. "Please don't listen to him."
Still holding her by the shoulders, Jimmy looked up at Longley, nodding. "Five minutes. Outside," he said coldly to the older gunman. Longley smirked and brushed past. One of his men followed him.
Jimmy turned to Lou in a rush. "This ain't your fault," Jimmy whispered, urgently, staring into her eyes for emphasis. "No matter what happens, this ain't your fault, understand? I came to apologize because Emma asked me to. But she was wrong. He weren't never going to let this go without us facin' each other down. No matter what, don't blame yourself for this."
"Jimmy, you can still walk away," Lou sobbed. "Please -"
"I can't, Lou. You have to see that. He won't give me that choice, not really. This ends now, one way or another." He kissed her with a tenderness she hadn't known he possessed; and gently guided her to sit on the steps. "Stay here. I don't want you to see this, promise me?"
She nodded helplessly and watched him stride down the steps purposefully and out the door, waiting for the blast of gunfire she knew would follow. And that she knew would mean either his death or his start on a path that might be worse than death.
As she sat there shaking, she remembered something with a start. The other man . . . he had a rifle, and he didn't go downstairs with Longley like the other fella did. In a flash, she pulled her gun and ran back up the stairs, rushing to the hotel room door she'd just run from. Shoving it open, she aimed her gun at the sniper and ordered him to stand down, in a voice as cold as steel. "This time Longley can do his own fightin'," she hissed, as the man put up his hands and gunfire blasted in the street.
Emma was interrupted while snapping beans for that day's dinner, by Jimmy silently handing her the watch she'd paid Longley for his life.
"Was it worth it?" Emma asked.
Jimmy was silent a moment, then shrugged. "He didn't give me a choice, Emma," he said, thinking of Lou's shaken face and torn clothes. Longley wanted him cornered and would never have let him in peace, no matter what degrading apology he might have offered. And once Longley put his hands on Lou . . . no, there hadn't been a choice, he thought to himself. "Did you want a choice?" Emma challenged, and to this Jimmy had no answer.
"Do you want me to leave?"
Emma stared at him, thinking of Longley. Longley had been just a boy once too, a boy who'd made a bad choice down a bad path. But a friend before he gave in to his darker side. Ugly memories of that other boy rose up and blinded her a moment.
"I don't know," she admitted. He nodded and walked off toward the bunkhouse; coming out onto the porch and watching his straight, proud back as he walked off stiffly, she made up her mind. This time it would be different.
"Jimmy?" When he turned, she called after him, "Breakfast in ten minutes." He grinned delightedly a moment and nodded back. Turning, he trotted back to the bunkhouse, where he planned to show his gratitude to Lou in private.
Kid packed his Sunday suit and a couple changes of clothes in a bag, and looked curiously across at Lou. "So you're headin' to St. Joe tomorrow too?" he commented. "That's a coincidence. Feel sorry for the boys with both of us takin' off same time."
Lou agreed, "Yeah, if it'd been a problem I'd have put off my trip, Kid. I know Doritha probably would be nervous if you weren't there to get her at the station. But I'm glad I don't have to wait." She buckled her bag, packed with presents for her brother and sister. "Talking to you the other day, made me realize I've put it off longer'n I should have."
"Want to ride together?" Kid asked.
"A little company sounds good," Lou grinned. "It's a hell of a long ride, I'm glad to have somebody to talk to."
Kid raised an eyebrow as Lou bent to pick up the heavy bag. Lou is one of the least talkative people I've ever met. Mostly listens and watches, doesn't give out much about himself, Kid reflected.
Jimmy came in from a ride, looking exhausted. "What's all this packin' for?" he asked, tiredly.
"We're taking a few days off, going to St. Joe," Lou responded.
Jimmy looked up, oddly. "Both of ya?" he asked, a strange jealous note in his voice.
Kid frowned a little. Guess he don't like it that we're both taking a vacation at the same time . . . might mean a double run while we're out. "If it's a problem, Jimmy, take it up with Teaspoon," he said, irritably, preoccupied by his own plans. "He knows and okayed it."
"Can I talk to you outside?" Jimmy said pointedly to Lou, ignoring Kid.
Lou followed Jimmy out to the barn, where he shut the door and turned to her. He looked at her intently a moment, at the nondescript little figure with her glasses perched on her nose, her short hair slicked back, her layers on layers of dusty, work-grimed clothes . . . he sighed a little, turning, and fiddling with his gunbelt. Sometimes, much as he liked her, the disguise was so effective it killed the romance a bit.
"What is it, Jimmy?" her soft voice came, her small hand reaching around his waist and clasping his hand. He looked down at the work-hardened but still delicate, graceful little hand lying over his, and smiled a little. Looking back at her, in a quick but gentle motion he slipped her phony glasses off, setting them on the feed-bin. He ran his fingers into her short hair, looking into her big, long-lashed brown eyes, rubbing her temples with his thumbs. The shy but adoring look in those eyes undid him, as it always did, and he gently pulled her by the head toward him, resting his forehead against hers for a moment.
"Missed ya is all," he said a little gruffly, tipping her head back and kissing her upturned mouth, one hand slipping behind her head and the other around her waist. She slid her arms up around his neck as he lifted her small body slightly, pressing it to his as the kiss lingered and deepened.
Buck's and Cody's voices outside the stable door ended the moment nearly as soon as it began; Lou jerked away panic-stricken and grabbed her glasses at the sound, leaving Jimmy panting and frustrated. Again. The voices passed by the barn door; the boys were going to the corral; but the mood was shattered.
"Jimmy -"
"Lou, I gotta say, I don't think I can keep goin' like this much longer," Jimmy blurted. "I just got back from a run, and you're running off and I won't see you for days."
Before Lou could respond, Jimmy continued, taking off his hat and flinging it from him with a scowl. "And it ain't much better when you're around. I can't kiss you hello or goodbye, hell, I can't even look at you the wrong way. I'm tired of it," he finished, turning back toward her, kicking at the straw and sending it flying in the air.
Lou shrunk back against the stall door, frightened at his intensity, yet somehow attracted at the same time. "Well, what are you saying, Jimmy?"
"I don't know," he exclaimed loudly.
She plucked at the latch on the stall door, glancing up at him. "Is it that you want to stop seein' each other?"
"I don't see how we could see much less of each other than we already are now," he muttered. Looking at her downcast face, he softened and pulled her close, kissing her forehead penitently.
They stood together a moment, the side of her face pressed against his chest, his arms clasped around her shoulders.
"Sorry," he finally said. "I don't want this to be the last thing we say to each other before you go away."
"Me neither," came her muffled voice.
"How about something different, then?" he suggested, turning her chin up. When she met his eyes, he said softly, "Like, I love you."
Her eyes shining through tears at his announcement, the first such declaration between them, she brushed her hand over her face a moment, and then bit her lip. Her voice trembling with emotion, she sighed, "I love you too, Jimmy," as he bent down to kiss her again.
As always between the couple, the kiss turned passionate quickly, and they slid to their knees on the barn floor. Almost of their own accord, Jimmy's hands found their way up the back of Lou's shirt, his big hands covering her bare back, pulling her close. His mouth traveled down her neck and he moved a hand to the front of her shirt, unbuttoning the top button, then the second, as his hungry kisses moved down her collarbone. Just as he unbuttoned the third button, revealing the top of a length of fabric binding wound around Lou's chest, the boys' voices outside returned. Jimmy growled in frustration, then planted a kiss on top of her head as he fastened her buttons back up one by one and helped her to her feet, just before Buck and Cody opened the barn door and came in, carrying a bale of hay between them.
Glancing at Lou, Jimmy picked up his hat and replaced it on his head. "Guess I'll see you when you get back, Lou. 'most time to turn in now," he said casually, whistling nonchalantly as he sauntered out of the barn.
Dropping the bale on the floor, Buck and Cody looked curiously at Lou, who was leaned against the stall door, seemingly speechless and out of breath. "You all right, buddy? You look a little flushed," Cody ventured.
"Fine," gasped Lou. "Fine. Just hot in here, is all."
Kid glanced at the pot Lou was stirring absently over the fire, then up at the 'boy,' then back at the pot again. Dropping the load of firewood he'd gathered, he remarked, "That stew's boiled all the way down, Lou."
Lou's faraway, silly grin disappeared and she looked into the pot. "Dang it," she muttered, poking at the meat and vegetables with a spoon.
"Daydreamin', were ya?" Kid teased. "What's her name?"
Lou turned bright red and dumped water into the pot, speaking evasively. "I think it's salvageable. Hasn't burned at the bottom yet."
Kid laughed outright. "Okay, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. But maybe I'd better watch the stew just the same, Romeo."
"There's nothing to tell," Lou protested, but a silly grin kept threatening to overtake her small face.
"Sure there ain't. Well, enjoy yourself while you can," Kid said, his own smile fading a little at the thought of his own 'true love' and mate for life waiting in St. Joe. He hoped desperately that the feelings he'd had for her when he left Virginia would come back when he saw Doritha again. He'd always heard absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in his case, it was more like out of sight, out of mind. He poked at the stew, his own face distracted now. That crazy, head over heels in love feeling written all over his little friend's face . . . he might never get to feel that again, if it didn't materialize when he saw his intended the next day.
"You nervous, Kid?"
He sighed, meeting Lou's eyes reluctantly. "Yeah. I'm in a hell of a mess, Lou. But I hope you won't say anything about this to anybody. Doritha can't ever know."
"I just don't understand why you think Doritha's better off marrying someone who doesn't love her," Lou started for the tenth time.
"Lou, we been over this. Doritha feels exactly the same, she said so in her letter. She's never stopped loving me, says she'll never love anybody else like she loves me," Kid said woefully.
"Poor you," Lou said sarcastically. "Don't sound so excited about it. The point still is, how do you feel about her. Even if you're willin' to be married to someone you don't really love, what about her? She deserves somebody who loves her back just as much, don't she?"
"I don't know. Is it better to be with the one you love, or with someone who loves you?" Kid said philosophically.
"I guess you two are about to find out," Lou sniped. "Me, I'd rather not settle for one or t'other. I want both."
"Now you really got me curious. Who is this mystery girl you're in love with?"
"Never mind, Kid."
Kid stirred the fire, glancing over at Lou's poker face. He tried to think of a girl who would think puny little Lou was her type. He could only think of one unattached Sweetwater girl who was less than a good three inches taller than Lou. "Is it Martha MacDougall, the travelin' preacher's daughter?" he asked, slyly.
"Martha MacDougall! That little mouse! Don't you think I could do better than her? Remember when Abigail McPherson told Emma she fancied me more than the rest of ya that day by the wagon? Abigail McPherson, mind you, the prettiest girl in Sweetwater," Lou snapped, before stopping and laughing at herself and her own foolishness. Lord, next thing I'll be bragging like the rest of these silly boys about women, she realized. I need to get a hold of myself.
"I just thought of Martha because maybe her father didn't approve of her courting, is all," Kid said innocently. "So it's Abigail, then?"
"No, it isn't Abigail and it isn't Martha. It's . . . it's somebody else, but I can't tell you about it yet. I . . . gave my word - - - as a gentleman," Lou said with as much dignity as she could muster.
"Okay, okay," Kid relented. "Pass your plate over here," he directed, taking it from her outstretched hand.
"So, how'd you like to be my best man tomorrow?" Kid asked.
Chewing a mouthful of beef stew, Lou raised her eyebrows. Swallowing, she answered, "Well, if you're sure about all this, Kid, I guess I'd be glad to stand up for you. But I think you're carrying this honor thing too far. I hope neither of you ends up getting hurt in the end."
"I'll do everything in my power to make sure Doritha's happy, Lou."
But what about you, Kid? How will you be happy if you can't love your wife the way you ought to? Lou thought pityingly, watching her friend slowly force down the food before him.
Doritha Maxwell fiddled with her gloves nervously as she looked out the stagecoach window. St. Joseph, Missouri was flashing by and it would be only a few minutes now. She paused, then yanked off her left glove in a single motion. She pulled a golden band from her ring finger and placed it inside a small velvet pouch in her reticule, replacing her glove with shaking hands. Fortunately, Garth never had it engraved, so that's one less expense for Kid, she thought idly. Looking out the window, she tried to steady her nerves. She still couldn't believe she'd had the nerve to try to get away with this . . . running away from Garth, planning to marry Kid like this. When his letter had reached her, it had been like the answer to a prayer. Just two years too late . . . but she'd never stopped loving Kid, not even when she'd had to marry Garth two years ago. She'd decided, the moment she read his words making good on his promise to send for her. She wouldn't live the rest of her life paying for the mistake of marrying Garth. She didn't care how poor she and Kid might be, how wild this country was, she would have her true love. And whatever she needed to do, she would do to keep him.
The stage pulled up at the station, and her heart leaped when she saw him standing there waiting for her. She hesitated a moment; he looked different, older, was wearing a pair of fringed buckskins. But those were his kind eyes, his slow, bright smile. She smiled back and waved out the window at him, at her dream come true at last.
Lou watched from a slight distance as the young woman alighted from the carriage and rushed into Kid's arms. Her heartstrings couldn't help but be tugged by the raw emotion on the other girl's delicate, doll-like face. After long moments clutching Kid to her desperately, the fragile-looking beauty leaned back and looked into his eyes. "You showed up," she said, smiling weakly through her tears. "I was afraid . . ."
"Don't be, Doritha. I'll take care of you from here out," he said gently. She nodded as he wiped the tears from her eyes.
Lou cleared her throat discreetly, and Kid turned sheepishly. "Doritha, this is my good friend Lou McCloud. He rides for the Express too, has some business in St. Joe so he came along."
Lowering her voice a little, Lou tipped her hat, leaned forward and shook Doritha's hand, mumbling, "It's a pleasure, ma'am."
Doritha looked confused for a moment, glancing over Lou, but she took the offered hand and shook it. "You too, Mr. McCloud."
Turning back to Kid, she fumbled awkwardly for words. "Well, I . . . I suppose we might want to look for a preacher, then?"
"Expect so. You all set or would you want to rest a couple hours first? You've had a long trip."
"I'd like to change clothes, but other than that, I'm fine."
"There's a hotel across from the station. I checked us in," Kid said, blushing. "I'll help you bring your things up, and then I'll go make the arrangements. Lou's staying here for a couple days too." He turned to Lou. "I reckon we'll need to change for the wedding too. You mind if I use your room?"
Lou cast around in her mind wildly for a moment. The hat Jimmy'd bought her, and new dress that she'd intended to wear to the orphanage, were hanging in plain view at the hotel. Thinking as quickly as she could, she answered, "Sure Kid. I'll head up and get freshened up first, then wait for you downstairs."
Kid turned back to Doritha. "I'll get your things, then." He handed her a key, and started to head toward the trunk and bags on the platform. Blushing, he turned back again and kissed Doritha on the lips. "It's good to see you, Doritha," he told her gently. Doritha beamed and headed toward the hotel, as Kid stood wistfully looking after her.
Lou tied Kid's tie for him in the hotel room, smiling at his nerves. "So, when you saw her again, did you feel everything again?" she asked hopefully.
Kid turned and checked his tie. "Thanks, Lou."
Lou sighed. "Kid, there's still time if -"
"It's okay, Lou. I remember how much I used to love her. I still do, in a way. It's just a little awkward now is all, since so much time's gone by. But it's okay, really."
Lou followed Kid out and down the street, to the chapel where Kid had arranged for the wedding. They were ushered in and stood at the pulpit together, waiting for Doritha's entrance.
The door opened and the beaming bride stepped in. Kid caught his breath and Lou sighed in relief, as Kid's face finally seemed to register something like love. Doritha was a vision in a lavishly trimmed white wedding gown. Lou frowned a little, wondering how Doritha had gotten it made so quickly. She dismissed the thought, remembering that Kid had promised to send for her a long time ago. Maybe she'd had the dress made up when Kid left and had been saving it all this time. How romantic, Lou thought admiringly, as the minister began the service.
As the couple kissed on the front church steps, Lou cleared her throat delicately.
"I'll be heading out to see my brother and sister now, then. Congratulations, you two. I suppose I'll see you back in Sweetwater."
Looking strangely at Lou again, Doritha nodded. "Yes, see you back in Sweetwater, Lou. It was nice meeting you."
"Thanks, Lou. Have a good time with your brother and sister," Kid said.
Remembering to be a proper gentleman, Lou tipped her hat to the bride and started back to the hotel, leaving the newlyweds behind.
"So, should we head back to our honeymoon suite?" Doritha said seductively.
Kid took her hand and blushed, awkwardly. "I . . . I reckon so," he said, embarrassed. Three years ago he would have carried her up those stairs in a passionate rush by this time, but now he felt strangely reluctant. But he shook off the feeling. Doritha was his wife now, and this was expected, the right thing to do; and he followed her back to the hotel.
The next morning, Kid woke next to his new wife feeling groggy and confused after his wedding night, when his bride had seemed a lot more eager and . . . experienced than he'd expected. As a gentleman, he had no idea how to broach the questions the night had raised in his mind with his new wife. He watched her sleeping contentedly and got up silently to dress. Slipping downstairs to order breakfast up to the room for Doritha, he was surprised to see Lou, clearly upset and checking out of the hotel.
"Lou? Thought you were staying on a couple days to spend time with your family. What's going on?" He was taken aback to see that the younger 'boy' had tear-tracks stained on his face.
"Someone came 'n' took them out of the orphanage this morning," she said. "When I went back to see them again just now they were gone. I don't have any time to waste, I can catch them if I get on the trail right now."
"You need any help?" Kid asked.
"No, this is family business," Lou said firmly, shaking her head. "You go on back to your wife. If I ain't back by the time you leave, though, can you tell Teaspoon . . . tell him I had to take a little more time?"
She longed to give Kid a note for Jimmy, but realized that would seem out of place, as she wasn't ready to give up her disguise yet. I'll get my brother and sister from my father and . . . and what? I can't just bring them back to the orphanage for my father to come back and get them again. But I got no home for them yet . . . She felt suddenly overwhelmed, and tears started to spill over again.
"Hey," Kid said, disconcerted at the smaller boy's display of tears. "Look, are you sure you don't need some help with this?"
"I got it covered, Kid," she insisted, gruffly. "Now go back to your wife and I'll see you in a couple days."