"I'm sorry, Louise. We simply couldn't pass up an opportunity to place them together. You left them here many years ago, my dear, and there wasn't any plan in place for you to take them. This family was willing to take them both. They were on their way west. There wasn't time to let you know in advance, they were passing through," the nun said. Mother Superior Mary Amelia wasn't explaining; no explanations were necessary in her mind, she was just stating the facts as far as she was concerned. But those "facts" shattered the young girl in the chair across the desk.
"If you'da told me, I would have tried to take them now, even if it wasn't a good time, I just can't understand why-"
"Louise. It's been six years. If it wasn't a good time after all that time, when was it going to be? Jeremiah is thirteen years old, Theresa eleven. There's so little of their childhood left. How long did you expect them to wait?"
"But Mother Superior-" "
They were fine people, and the children were thrilled to be asked to live with them."
"They wanted this?" Lou said querulously.
"Of course they did. It was a chance to have a mother and father while they're still young, and to stay together. They intended to write you and let you know where they were when they get settled. They left a week ago. I imagine you'll hear in a few weeks."
The nun picked up her pen. "If that's all, Louise, I have a number of things to attend to." Louise saw clearly that she was dismissed, and turned to Ike, who had watched intently during the entire interview. He pressed her hand, sympathetically, and put an arm around her supportively as they walked out of the office.
Lou's face was ashen and fixed, as she untied her horse from the hitching post and swung on. Ike mounted his horse and slapped the reins on his neck, urging the horse forward.
They rode in silence for over an hour, before Ike pulled up on his reins. Lou turned back and asked curtly, "Well? You comin'?"
*Where are you going?*
She looked over the horizon.
"I don't know, Ike." Her face crumpled and she hung her head, tears squeezing out between her fingers pressed against her face.
Ike got down from his horse and took the reins of both animals, leading them to a riverbank and tying them to a tree. He put up a hand and helped her down.
*Why don't we figure that out before we go any farther?*
"I guess we might as well head home," Lou said. "Don't matter much, now."
*And then?*
Lou sat on the bank next to a fallen log, and plucked at the grass.
"Then nothing. Work. I don't know."
Ike settled beside her and looked over at her, expectantly. *I'm listening, Lou. Why don't you talk it out?*
She flung a handful of grass from her, and the words burst out like a torrent. "Everything my life was about up to now, for the last six years, just got turned upside down. I was living for that dream of giving them a home like I promised my mother. Everything I did, everything I gave up, was for them. And now, I don't know what I'll do with myself. I'm like some ship that's got no anchor now." She cut off suddenly, and looked in Ike's understanding eyes.
"I asked Jimmy once, what he thought we'd all be doing five or ten years from now." She shook her head, tearfully. "He didn't have any idea. You ever think about that, Ike?"
*I did once. Before Emily died. Hoped for children and a home. Now, I don't know.*
Lou reached for Ike's arm and squeezed it, tears spilling over now. "I'm so sorry about Emily, Ike."
*I know. She was special. She had to be to pay any attention to me, I guess. Not too many girls would.*
"That's not true," Lou said heatedly. "Any girl would be lucky to be with you, Ike."
He shrugged. *Seems like most of them are more interested in men like Cody or Jimmy or -*
"I mean it," she interrupted gently. She leaned closer, her hand still on his arm. "You can't talk, so you're at a disadvantage when it comes to flirting with the ladies like Cody or Jimmy. But Ike, once somebody gets to know you, it's obvious you have all the things that really matter to a woman in the long run."
Ike rolled his eyes.
"You don't believe me? Well, how about being kind and gentle? And how about the way you think about other people first, instead of your own feelings all the time?"
Ike smiled a little, and turned to look at her intently. With a start, Lou realized that usually Ike looked away, shyly, not directly at folks. This was the first time she'd sat this close and looked into his eyes like this. She'd never noticed how beautiful his eyes were until now . . .
"Emily got it right, Ike. You got the one thing any woman really wants. You can listen."
Ike chuckled silently, and leaned over to kiss Lou on the cheek in thanks. Lou slipped her arms around his neck to hug him back, and something kept them lingering there together, leaned back against the fallen log. His lips tracing along her cheek felt soft, while his arms were strong but gentle.
She rested her head on his shoulder and decided not to wonder what that 'something' was, just to live in this moment. All that mattered was that she was comforted by his strong arms around her, his hand stroking her hair, his cheek against the top of her head. He'd held her like this before, when Kid had gone missing once and she hadn't known if she'd ever see him again. That time, the feelings Ike stirred in her had disturbed her, and she'd pushed him away, remembering Kid. Now, there was no reason to push away, and she closed her eyes, letting herself feel whatever she was feeling in this moment.
The time they sat together like that, both their hearts broken and sore, seemed short in some ways but yet the sun was sinking surely in the distance. Neither one felt like letting go, not yet, though there was still work that had to be done no matter how much they were hurting right now, from disappointments and tragedy and lost loves. And when finally the moon rose in place of the sun, and left a glittering path on the peaceful river, they were still clinging together there on the riverbank. Ike's arms tightened around her a little, as the night grew a little colder. He reached to tip her head up and look into her eyes, asking a silent question that Lou could hear in her heart. Her eyes answered his . . . she didn't want to go now, either. Then both closed their eyes as they shared their first kiss in the moonlight.
Author's Note: Thanks to Dede and to Shannon!