11 Part Harmony Challenge

Challenged to Write at least 11 Stories: 1 for each character in this list: Teaspon, Rachel, Sam, Emma, Tompkins, Ike, Buck, Lou, Jimmy, Cody There were 33 songs to choose from, all of the songs are in the Statler Brothers famous four part harmony.
Character	Title	Summary
Kid	Everytime I Trust a Gal	Lou talks Kid into babysitting their four daughters, and he learns that trusting the McCloud women is risky business.
Teaspoon	A Couple More Years	Teaspoon shows his new deputy that he isn't ready to retire just yet.
Lou	Almost Persuaded	After Kid's second proposal, Lou contemplates their relationship and why she isn't ready to say yes.
Buck	Too Many Rivers	A year after the Express ended, Buck feels disconnected from his friends and wishes he could return to his Kiowa family. Has too much time passed, or does love endure?
Jimmy	You Just Haven't Done It Yet	Jimmy wrestles with his fears the day before his wedding, and Teaspoon gives him some much needed advice.
Ike	Angel in Her Face	When Ike says goodbye to Annie, he gives her a letter expressing how much she means to him.
Sam	Funny, Familiar, Forgotten Feelings	Sam proves to Emma that his love is forever.
Emma	Woman Without a Home	Emma decides to finally tell Sam just how much he means to her.
Tompkins	Got Leaving on her Mind	After Sally's death, Tompkins tries to convince Jenny to stay but soon realizes that he has to let her go.

Everytime I Trust A Gal

“Trust me, Kid, you can do this. I will only be gone for two hours at the most, and the girls will be on their best behavior. They already promised me,” said Lou, smiling a little too broadly and not quite meeting his gaze.

Kid said nothing but raised an eyebrow to show his skepticism. He thought, ‘since when have my girls been on their best behavior? They’re too much like their mother to do that.’

“Please, I’m desperate for some girl talk with Rachel. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her alone since Elizabeth was born. I love my babies, but I need a break!” she exclaimed pleadingly, giving him her best puppy dog look. Kid could break the most stubborn horse, but he could never say no to Lou when she turned on the charm, a fact of which she was well aware. Unfortunately for him, their four girls appeared to have inherited this talent from their mother.

“Alright,” he responded reluctantly, an ominous feeling settling in his gut. “But you better be home in exactly two hours. You know I don’t have the equipment to feed Elizabeth when she gets hungry.” His eyes twinkled at her and thought, ‘it has been too long…’

“Maybe if you’re a good boy while I’m gone, I might just reintroduce you to my equipment tonight,” she said saucily. Due to the recent birth of their fourth daughter, they had not been intimate in over two months. Kid tried his best not to show his frustration, but Lou could tell that the wait was killing him. Truth be told, she missed it just as much as he did, but she knew better not to let him know that or she’d loose the advantage.

Kid immediately closed the distance between them and wrapped her in his strong embrace. “Mmm, I’d like that,” he whispered in his best sexy voice. They were soon lost in an intense kiss, both reminiscing on passionate moments of the past.

“Eww, you’re kissing again,” whined nine-year-old Emma, quickly bringing them back to reality. Her two shadows, seven-year-old Rachel and four-year-old Sarah, followed quickly after, giggling at their older sister’s antics. Rachel added, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” and all three girls giggled more.

“That’s enough, silly girls. I already told you that kissing is what mamas and daddies do because they love each other,” Lou chastised and added to herself, ‘among other things.’

“But you said that when a mama and a daddy love each other, they make a baby,” Emma said, her face scrunched up in thought. “My friend Hannah says her momma and daddy hardly ever kiss. Is that why I have three sisters and she only has one brother?”

Kid purposely avoided his wife’s eye contact, knowing he could not contain his laughter if he looked at her. He knelt in front of his daughter and answered with as much sincerity as he could muster, “I’m sure Hannah’s parents love each very much. They just haven’t been blessed like we have. Now how would my favorite little girls like to spend some time with me so your ma can visit Aunt Rachel?” He hoped his response placated them enough to leave that issue alone. He sure wasn’t ready to discuss where babies really came from and secretly thought that his daughter’s suspicion was probably the truth.
Sarah tugged on his pants leg and exclaimed, “Horsie!”

“I think that means yes,” Lou said, eager to make her exit. “You girls keep your pa company and mind him while I’m gone, okay?” She quickly grabbed her hat and gave her husband a quick peck on the cheek before he could protest. “Goodbye, honey.”

“Goodbye, Lou. Don’t forget, two hours and no more.” Her only response was a distracted wave as she walked out the door.

“Okay, girls, since Miss Sarah would like to see the horses, why don’t we give Katy a sugar cube while your baby sister is napping?” He swooped Sarah into his arms and took Rachel’s hand as Emma led the way towards the barn, skipping all the way.

By the time they returned to the house, Kid was feeling surprisingly at ease. ‘This isn’t so bad after all. Maybe I should offer to watch the girls more often,’ he decided. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a squalling baby upstairs.

“Play quietly while I go see to your sister, girls.”

“May we make cookies, Pa?” asked Emma.

His mind already on soothing his littlest angel, he heard only “cookies” and responded, “You may have one cookie each. Now be good while I take care of your sister.” He walked up the stairs, leaving his three giggling girls behind.

His littlest angel was screaming much louder than seemed possible for someone her size. As he picked her up from her crib, he immediately smelled the unmistakable odor of a very dirty diaper. Sighing, he laid her on the changing table and changed her carefully. Lou could do this blindfolded, but he always took his time, especially after sticking his eldest daughter with a pin years ago. He spoke softly to Elizabeth, hoping to stop her cries, but it was not to be. She continued to wail until he finished and held her in his arms. Finally she hiccupped a few more sobs and then stared at him with her wide blue eyes. Kissing her gently as he walked toward the stairs, he whistled a happy tune in satisfaction.

The tune came to an abrupt halt as he entered the kitchen. He blinked a few times as he stared at Emma, Rachel and Sarah, who were all covered with a fine white powder. Emma was stirring a thick paste in a mixing bowl while the others tried to help by grabbing at the spoon or dumping more flour into the bowl.

Sarah noticed her father first, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. “Silly, daddy. Look, snow!” she exclaimed as she threw a handful of flour into the air and giggled as it floated down upon the trio.

Kid finally snapped out of his shocked silence. “Girls, what are you doing in here? I told you to be good, and look at this mess!”

Rachel answered solemnly, “But daddy, you told us we could make cookies. They’re for mommy. Don’t you think she’ll like ‘em?” She held out the bowl full of paste, eagerly awaiting his approval.

After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he responded, “I’m sure she will like them very much. In fact, I’m sure she’ll eat the whole batch herself.” ‘That’ll teach her to ask me to watch the girls,’ he thought.

“Okay, girls, why don’t we wait to finish the cookies until your ma comes home? Let’s clean up this mess and get you cleaned up too. Your ma is expecting to see three clean little girls when she gets home, not three snow angels.” Seeing Sarah ready to grab another handful of “snow” to throw into the air, he quickly grabbed the canister of flour.

After assigning the girls small tasks and supervising closely, the kitchen was restored to a presentable state. Unfortunately, his “snow angels” looked much the same as when he first found them, and when he glanced at the clock, he realized Lou should be home any minute. As if on cue, his youngest daughter began squirming and whimpering in her cradle, obviously aware that it was time for her next feeding. Kid scooped her up and hoped that Lou would be on time, knowing he was no substitute for her in a situation like this.

While soothing Elizabeth as best he could, he studied his other daughters. After seeing globs of batter in their hair in addition to the flour, he realized that he wouldn’t be able to get away with a quick sponge bath. He placed his youngest in her cradle and retrieved the large tub from the mudroom. When he had filled the tub with soapy, warm water, he said, “Okay ladies, let’s get you out of those clothes and into the bath.”

“Together? Mommy never lets us take a bath together!” Emma exclaimed.

“Well, your ma isn’t here yet, but she will be soon, so we need to hurry. Hop on in – there’s room for three little tadpoles in this pond,” he said, tickling Sarah and then helping her raise her dress over her head. Soon the three girls were in the tub and giggling while he made frog noises at them.

After all traces of flour and batter were gone, he realized that he had forgotten to get the towels. “Girls, I’ll be right back. I need to get some towels.” Before he could leave, Elizabeth began to cry once again and he went to pick her up.

“I’ll get the towels, daddy!” said Emma, jumping out of the tub and running upstairs, leaving a trail of soapy water behind her.

“Me too,” added Rachel, following her sister and adding to the watery mess.

“Me, me!” yelled Sarah and attempted to catch up to her sisters. Unfortunately, the determined little girl was no match for the slippery floor, and she slid on the floor only to land on her bottom right in front of the front door. Her wails soon joined those of her younger sister. Before he could comfort either daughter, Emma and Rachel returned carrying what appeared to their entire supply of towels.

“I brought the towels,” said Rachel.

“No, I brought them,” corrected Emma.

“Did not!”

“Did so!”

At that moment, when Kid was sure it could not get any worse, Lou opened the door and said cheerfully, “I’m home!”

Her smile soon faded into shock as she took in the scene before her. Her older daughters were arguing, her younger daughters were crying, and three out of the four were buck naked.

“What in the world is going on?” she asked.

As she looked at Kid for an answer, she saw the expression of absolute desperation on his face and immediately began to laugh. Soon Emma, Rachel and Sarah ran to hug their mother and joined in her laughter, unaware of what was funny, but laughing all the same. Finally, Kid gave in to the absurdity of the situation and even Elizabeth stopped crying as if she were curious about the sounds coming from her family.

When the laughter finally died down, Lou raised an eyebrow at Kid, silently asking for an explanation.

In response, he handed her the baby and walked towards the door. Before escaping to the peace of the barn, he replied, “I’m never trusting a McCloud woman ever again. Enjoy your cookies.” He gestured to the bowl of goo on the table, and he fought back a smile after seeing her disgusted expression before he shut the door.

A Couple More Years

Teaspoon shook his head at his new deputy’s eager perusal of the latest wanted papers. He would first stare at the picture on the poster for a solid minute, as if to imprint the visage on his brain. Then he would mumble to himself the crimes attributed to the criminal as well as the reward, clearly trying to memorize them word for word. When Teaspoon heard, “John Daniels, horse thieving, robbery, $500” for the fourth time, he decided that he had had enough.

“Tom, why don’t you take a walk through our fair town, make sure the peace is kept? Pay close attention to the saloon. I know we ain’t had no trouble with the new owner, but it don’t hurt to be extra careful,” he admonished, hoping the deputy would take the bait so he could have a few minutes peace.

“Sure thing, Marshal. Do you need anything while I’m out?” asked the fresh-faced deputy.

“Well, I suppose we could use some more coffee. And feel free to take your lunch break while you’re out.” It was really too early for lunch, and they had enough coffee to last for a month, but he would resort to whatever means necessary to get back his quiet mornings.

Truth be told, Teaspoon was used to being alone most days, and that was fine by him. Sure, he missed the company of his “boys,” but they had long since moved on. Kid and Lou had returned to Sweetwater, Cody was on tour with his show, Buck was doing his best to help the Kiowa and Jimmy was still wandering. They visited occasionally, but he understood they had lives of their own, even if that knowledge didn’t always comfort him. At least he had Rachel close by to keep him company in the evenings. She had married a widower named Joe, who owned a ranch not far from town. Luckily for Teaspoon, he had a standing invitation at their dinner table, of which he frequently took advantage.

All in all, not a bad life. Now if only I can get used to this young upstart, he thought. He hadn’t wanted to hire a full-time deputy after his boys left. It just didn’t seem right, filling the position with anybody else. Besides, he didn’t really need the help most days. Rock Creek had become thoroughly respectable, and other than the occasional bit of trouble, there wasn’t much crime to speak of. Despite his better sense, he had been railroaded into hiring Tom by a persuasive town council. Though no one had said it, he suspected they thought he was getting too old for the job and wanted to already have someone else in place, just in case. ‘Too bad for them,’ he decided, ‘cause I ain’t plannin’ on croakin’ any time soon, so I guess they’ll have to wait.’

Still, he couldn’t begrudge Tom the job. He was newly married and needed the income to support his wife and future family. Teaspoon had a feeling that was exactly the reason the town council had recommended Tom. They could count on his sentimental nature regarding marriage to win him over. It did. Not that Tom was a bad choice, but he was a little wet behind the ears as far as the Marshal was concerned. Remembering his “boys” when they first stood before him years ago, he smiled and concluded that all hope was not lost.

His pleasant thoughts were interrupted as Tom rushed in the door. “Marshal, Mr. Harris’ horse was stolen last night! He’s outside and wants us to round up a posse right away.”

“Now let’s not go off half-cocked,” Teaspoon replied, thinking of the many times he had used that same expression. “Did he get a look at who took it? Was anything else stolen?”

“He’s pretty sure it was Paul Brown, and he’s also missing a few jugs of whiskey. So should I see who will volunteer for the posse?”

Teaspoon chuckled and shook his head. “No, son, there won’t be any need for that. Why don’t we follow Mr. Harris to his place? I guarantee we’ll have us a horse thief in jail by the end of day.”

His deputy eyed him incredulously, and he could see the question forming in his mind – ‘has the old coot finally lost it?’

He didn’t acknowledge the unspoken question and instead strode towards the door, knowing that Tom would follow him, even if somewhat unwillingly.

As they approached the Harris place, Mr. Harris started up the rant he had begun earlier. “Now, Marshal, I don’t know how you expect to find Brown so easily. He’s a good rider, and he had a head start. If I didn’t know better, then I’d assume you was favorin’ him because he’s a local boy.”

“Good thing you know better,” mumbled Teaspoon before asking, “Now where was the horse when you last saw it?”

“In the barn. I heard some noises but by the time I got there, I saw Paul riding off with him towards the west. I keep some of whiskey stores out there too, so he must have seen them there too.”

Teaspoon nodded and then clapped his hands together determinedly. “Sounds clear enough. Let’s go get that horse back.” He walked towards his horse, only to realize that no one was following him.

Tom and Mr. Harris glanced at one another, the skepticism clear on both faces. Finally Tom spoke up. “Uh, Marshal, you sure we’ll find him so quick? Maybe we ought to get some supplies at least in case we need to camp out.” He had enough sense to look a little ashamed for questioning his boss.

After waiting until both men made eye contact, Teaspoon raised an eyebrow that clearly dismissed the deputy’s fears as well as further questions. He did not dignify their protests with a response this time and simply mounted his horse and rode off towards the west. Within a few minutes, he could hear the two men behind him trying to catch up. He slowed his pace and waited for them to come up alongside him.

“Nice of you to join me, gentleman. Shall we?” he said casually, kicking his horse into action once again.

When they had been riding for about thirty minutes, they saw the unmistakable profile of a horse tied to a tree up ahead. As they came up to the horse, they were met with the stench of stale whiskey. Following his nose, Teaspoon led the men to a nearby bush and pointed to a man sprawled and snoring in its shade.

“I do believe we’ve found us our horse thief. Don’t look like he’s gonna be much trouble to bring in, does he? Tom, wake him enough to let him know he’s under arrest and then haul his sorry backside on to that horse so we can bring him in,” said Teaspoon, clearly enjoying his triumph.

“Yes, Marshal,” Tom replied. Before he took a step, he looked at the drunken criminal and back at Teaspoon. Curiosity got the best of him, and he asked, “How did you know we’d find him so quick?”

Teaspoon hooked his thumbs in his suspenders and puffed his chest out a bit before answering. “Experience, son. I know Paul Brown, and I know he likes the bottle. He may be a fast rider and a fairly sharp young man when he is sober, but he is single-minded when it comes to drinking. All he wants to do is more of it. As soon as I heard that he stole the whiskey, I knew he couldn’t resist drinking it and wouldn’t stop until he passed out drunk. I didn’t need no posse to help me bring in a passed-out drunk, and it’s better not to call in the pack when the lone wolf can do the job.”

Tom had a hang-dog look on his face, clearly feeling guilty for not trusting his boss. Teaspoon clapped his shoulde r and said, “Don’t you worry, Tom. In a couple more years, you’ll know all the tricks.” He added to himself, ‘I guess this old dog has a couple more years left!’

Almost Persuaded

Lying in my bunk, I know sleep won’t come easily. If the creaking from below is any indication, Kid isn’t able to sleep either. Perhaps I should take comfort in the fact that he is obviously hurting too, but I don’t. Why would I want him to suffer? I still love him, even if I won’t agree to marry him, a fact which I’m not sure he understands. I can’t help but think back to that day at the pond, the scene of his first proposal. That day it was easy to joke and change the subject because it was clear his heart wasn’t in it. How could I possibly take him seriously when his proposal consisted of rambling about doing what was proper followed by uncertainty over whether he was even purposing at all? You can’t blame a girl for wanting a little more romance, or at least conviction.

I may have been able to deflect the question with humor that day, but today I was not so lucky. This time he had thought things through, and I could tell he was serious. Unfortunately for me, the motivation behind his proposal hadn’t changed – it was still about doing the proper thing instead of love. The thing that makes me crazy is that I know he loves me, and deep down he understands what marriage should be. Yet somewhere in all his ideas about doing right by me, he has forgotten about me. What I want. What I need. And what I need right now is the same thing our relationship needs: time.

Despite the love we share, there are so many issues that we have not even begun to work out. We may be closer to one another than to anyone else, but we still guard the secrets of our past. I haven’t trusted him with my dark places just as I am sure there is so much more to Kid than what I know. Though our job requires us to put our lives at risk, the thought of trusting another human being leaves us running scared. For me, I’m afraid of losing myself before I have even found myself. The real me is somewhere between Lou and Louise, but I can’t choose one identity until I am sure that I won’t lose the other. I’ve heard people say that marriage is two becoming one. How can I become one with Kid when I’m not one with myself?

Kid is scared too. He can’t get any more obvious the way he always worries about me when I’m about to leave for a run. The truth is that I can’t really blame him for worrying about me, just the way he deals with it. It’s like he would rather me be safe than happy. I know there has to be some things in his past that make him so determined to protect me, but since he won’t let me see that part of his life, I don’t know why he acts the way he does. I guess it all goes back to trusting each other. Knowing that should make me want to reveal everything in hope that he would trust me too, but I don’t want to take the chance. If he is protective of me now, I worry how he would react if he discovers all that I have endured. But my worst fear, the one that keeps me up at night, the one that I can hardly stand to think, let alone speak, is that he won’t want me anymore. That somehow all the love and passion and friendship will be reduced to pity – or worse yet, revulsion – the moment that he knows the truth.

Rustling sounds below me interrupt my thoughts. Kid quietly dresses and leaves the bunkhouse, never looking back to see if I am awake. He probably already knows I am awake, but I doubt he would want to talk to me right now, and I don’t know what I’d say anyway. As much as we tease him, I have to agree that sometimes it’s easier to talk to a horse than a human. I can picture him in my mind: shoulders slumped, head in his hands, the expression on his face dejected and hollow. I know because I found him like that earlier today. I pretended not to see him, and he pretended not to hear me. Maybe that is what it will be like from now on – pretending not to see the love remaining in our eyes, pretending not to hear the pain tainting our voices. Am I supposed to act like it meant nothing to me? How do I treat the love of my life like a polite acquaintance? And if he’s the love of my life, why didn’t I say yes?

He almost persuaded me today. After dinner, he told me that he had a surprise for me in the barn. I was feeling dead on my feet, but Kid is nothing if not persistent, and I finally agreed to follow him. He led me over to a bale of bay and sat down next to me. I could tell he was nervous and exited, but I honestly had no idea what he was going to say.

“Lou,” he began and then paused, as if he were trying to remember a speech, “you know I don’t always do the right thing, like moving your stuff to Rachel’s house. I did it because I was thinking about the future, our future. It’s hard for us now, and I was hoping to make things easier for you. You could act like a lady around the house, and you wouldn’t have to put up with the guys. And someday soon, I hope you won’t have to be Lou anymore, and I thought it would be better if you didn’t have to worry about what people thought, a girl living with a bunch of guys and all that. I know now I shouldn’t have moved your stuff to Rachel’s house without asking you first, which is why I wanted to talk to you tonight. I want to do right by you, and I think I know what the right thing is.”

Kneeling before me, he continued, “Will you marry me, Lou?”

After he asked me to be his wife, he looked at me with such love and hope in his eyes, and I couldn’t just laugh or make a joke of it. I really did think about my answer this time, and I almost said yes. I can imagine a life with Kid – he would work to his last breath to make a life for us.

All I have to do is run into the barn, apologize for not trusting our love and then offer to spend a lifetime making it up to him. Then he would sweep me into his arms, say all was forgiven and kiss my tears away. We would make love in the hayloft and hold each other close until the sun rose. At breakfast we would tell everyone the news, and they would be surprised, but happy. The wedding would be planned, and then when the day came, we would become one, a family. It would take hard work, but we would find a place to live, get Jeremiah and Teresa and then have children of our own. It is everything I have ever wanted, and the only thing missing is me taking a step toward the barn.

Minutes pass, and I remain in my bunk, and Kid remains in the barn. Our pride is intact, but our hearts are shattered. Imagining the perfect future is almost enough to drag me from my bed and lead me into his arms. But then I remember the secrets unrevealed, the tensions unresolved, the questions unanswered and the words unspoken and I stay exactly where I am. I know there is a part of me that will regret saying no, but there is also a part of me that would regret saying yes. Until I can say yes with no regrets, almost is not enough.

Too Many Rivers

There is nothing worse than feeling lonely in a crowd, and Buck Cross was surrounded by friends and family feeling more alone than he ever remembered. Only a year had passed since the demise of the Express, and the people around him already felt like strangers. Something had snapped in him after the death of Noah, following so soon after Ike. Where there had once been a gaping hole, there was now an encompassing void, a nothingness than continued to breath and walk and talk, but no longer to live. It hurt too much to feel, so he stopped feeling. It cost too much to trust, so he stopped trusting. It risked too much to love, so he stopped loving. He just stopped. Though his heart continued to beat in his chest and time continued to pass, the Buck that his Express family remembered was frozen in that moment when he had heard that he had lost another friend, another brother.

The friends remaining in Rock Creek had done their best to coax him back into existence, but the efforts of Teaspoon, Rachel, Kid and Lou yielded little result. When Cody and Jimmy visited, he had felt a spark of something, a recognition of kindred spirits who shared his urge to wander. But as soon as it flickered, the flame was quenched by a fierce jealousy. He envied their freedom, coming and going as they pleased. Of course he wasn't chained to Rock Creek, but he had worked hard to achieve a grudging tolerance from his neighbors, and he wasn't foolish enough to give it up that easily. Besides, the only real family he had left other than Red Bear was here, and he desperately wanted that connection, so he stayed. But the ties that had once reassured now tortured him as he watched his family move on with their lives.

Teaspoon stayed busy upholding the law and making daily visits to Polly. Rachel threw herself into her work at the schoolhouse, kept her close friendship with Lou, and had even been seeing Matt, a rancher who was new to town. Kid and Lou put in long hours at their ranch and appeared to be enjoying married life a great deal, if their new son born less than a year after their wedding was any indication. Cody scouted for the army, and while sobered by Noah's death, he still retained the laughing spirit that made him an easy friend. Jimmy helped Cody occasionally but preferred to drift wherever his impulses led him, not yet ready for quiet domesticity.

Each one seemed to have some reason to wake up each morning, but Buck had none. Sure, he worked as Teaspoon's deputy and helped Kid and Lou with the ranch when he could. They had even offered him a partnership, but despite their pleas to the contrary, he saw it as just sympathy, or worse charity, and he continued to decline it whenever it was mentioned. Though he would never admit it to himself, a small part of him could not stomach the thought of working in close quarters with a happily married couple, knowing that he may never experience the blessing of a lover and friend, a wife. The birth of Kid and Lou's son caused him to retreat even further as he contemplated a future without a son or daughter to whom he could teach his traditions, someone who could be a legacy of his heritage. Despite the pain he felt at seeing their joy, he could not politely refuse the offer of dinner that brought him here tonight and the invitation to the christening ceremony tomorrow without hurting his friends' feelings. As isolated as he felt, he would not sever his friendships completely, and thus he found himself lonely in a crowd once again.

The last time he had experienced this paradox was back in the Kiowa village of his boyhood. He always felt like an outside observer there, never truly a part of the life of the tribe. The women prepared the food and cared for the children, the children played and avoided their chores, and the men saw to the hunt and defense of their people. Buck watched, and eventually he left. Part of him longed to go back, despite the fact that he would still be an outsider. The Kiowa shared his blood, and that meant something. He had been considering returning lately, but he always came back to the fact that so much time had passed since he had truly lived among them. Making the journey would require a mental and spiritual strength that he didn't feel like he had. After all, he had seen many moons, crossed many rivers and walked many miles since he left. Returning would be like trying to turn back time, and he wasn't sure he could do it.

Thinking over these things, he realized that he was not going to get an answer tonight. He rose to his feet and walked toward Kid and Lou to make his goodbyes.

"Goodnight, and thanks for inviting me to dinner. It was wonderful. Congratulations again on your son, and I'll see you tomorrow at the church," Buck said.

"Thanks for coming, Buck," Kid replied, shaking his outstretched hand.

"Why don't I walk you outside?" Lou asked, looping her arm through his and leading him towards the door. After she shut the door behind them, she studied him closely and appeared to be looking for the right words to say. Finally she found them. "You know, you don't have to come to church tomorrow if you don't want to. I know it's not your beliefs, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I invited you because you're part of my family, but I understand if you would prefer not to come. You won't hurt my feelings if you don't. I promise."

Buck considered her words and felt a bit of guilt creep into his thoughts. He knew that Lou knew that something was wrong with him, and he also knew that she was doing her best to include him in her and Kid's life. Though a part of him wanted to skip the service, he didn't want to shut her out. Her support meant a lot to him, even if it wasn't making him feel any better. She was trying and so would he.

"You're right, Lou. I am family, and part of being a family is being there for each other. This is a special day for you and Kid and so it's a special day for me too. I wouldn't miss it for the world," he replied, smiling as much as his melancholy mood allowed.

Lou gave him a quick hug. "Thank you. I really do appreciate it. And who knows? Maybe you'll hear something that helps or answers a question. Stranger things have happened. If you had told me when I started the Express that I would get married and have a child, I would have said you were crazy, but I couldn't be happier." She smiled and touched his arm briefly before returning inside.

Buck thought about her words, 'Maybe it would help to get a little outside perspective. It couldn't hurt anyway.' With that thought in mind, he resolved to not only attend the service but to stay awake through it.

****************

Despite Lou's prediction, Buck chose a seat in the back pew in case a speedy exit was necessary. He was going to keep an open mind, but if the preacher decided to turn the service into "convert the heathen day," he was out of here. Besides, he knew enough about music to know that he was tone-deaf, and he wasn't about to ruin anyone else's worship experience with his singing.

The service was similar to what he had experienced in mission school but with less movement and no nuns that he could see. Early in the service, Kid and Lou came forward with their son. The preacher sprinkled water on the baby's head, and surprisingly, he slept through the entire ceremony. Though Buck never fully grasped the significance of the actions, Kid and Lou were obviously happy and very proud of their son. For that reason he smiled with the rest of the crowd, even if for a moment. The congregation sang another hymn, and the preacher stepped forward to begin his sermon. Buck considered praying to the white God for a short sermon but decided that it might not be received well. Instead he thought, 'If you have anything to say to me, I'm listening.'

"Today's text will taken from the Song of Solomon, chapter 8, verse 7. 'Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.' Thanks be to God." The congregation murmured "Amen" before he continued. "What is the Lord trying to teach us through this verse? First, He wants us to know that love is everlasting. It cannot be extinguished as one would throw water on a flame, nor can it be drowned even by the fiercest of floods. True love lasts forever. Secondly, love cannot be bought. The Scripture teaches us that anyone who would try to buy it would be despised because love is meant to be given freely, not bought or sold as a commodity. But what kind of love is this verse referring to? In the context of the Scripture, the writer is referring to romantic love, that between a husband and a wife. God's intention for marriage is that love should last and be given unconditionally."

"This principle of love also extends to any human relationship that we have, whether that between family, friends and even strangers, for we know that we are supposed to love all our neighbors and treat them as we would want to be treated. Even when they do not show this type of love to us, we should seek to show it to them, and hopefully by example lead them to love truly in return. Despite our best intentions, we know that we often fall short of loving unconditionally, so we must be determined in showing grace to others, knowing that our Savior Jesus gave the ultimate example of unmerited favor by His death on the cross."

"This leads us to the last type of love about which the Scripture teaches us - the love for God towards us, those He has created in His image. Throughout the Bible, we see many examples of how His love for us is everlasting, particularly in the death and resurrection of Jesus through which all people in all times have access to a relationship with the Lord if only they accept it. We know we cannot buy His love, for Jesus teaches us that it would easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven. His love is a gift that must be accepted as such; we cannot earn it, and we cannot buy it. Let us look at other Scriptures where God shows His love for us…"

The preacher continued his sermon, but Buck pondered the verse that he had read and what he had said about. He thought back to his longing to be reunited with his Kiowa family. He had thought it was impossible, that he had traveled too far, crossed too many rivers to go back. But what if this preacher was right? What if the love he had for his family and they for him continued on, despite the distance and the time that separated them? Was love really everlasting? He already knew he couldn't buy their love - white man's money meant nothing to them. Would the blood and history shared be enough to have some kind of relationship, even if temporary?

Buck wasn't certain of the answer, but he now knew that he had to try. He had told the white God that he would listen, and so he would. He had to keep trying even when it was difficult, just as Lou had with him. If he didn't have enough hope to continue to reach out to others, then he didn't have much of anything. He didn't have all the answers, but he wasn't ready to roll over and die, and for now, that would be enough. He would return home to the Kiowa, but first he needed to thank Lou.

You Just Haven't Done It Yet

Jimmy sank to his knees at the altar of the church. Not being much of a praying man, he wasn't sure exactly what to say, but he hoped that God wouldn't mind regular words. He had heard preachers pray in church as if they were reciting a speech, and he just didn't feel right doing that. 'The way I'm feelin' right now, I doubt I could come up with any fancy words anyway,' he thought.

His voice was quiet but steady as he prayed. "God, I love her. I probably don't deserve her, but I couldn't help it. I fell in love, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I just couldn't shake that woman. It didn't help none that she loved me back. She knows about me and still wants to marry me, past and all. Can you believe it? Well, I guess you can because you probably already knew, but it sure surprised me."

I'm finally happy, really happy, but I wonder if whether I'm even meant to be happy. Like maybe I still need to pay for the things I've done. And I keep asking myself, how am I supposed to be a good husband? What do I know about that? It's not like I ever saw one growin' up. And since I left home, I never settled in one place for long before, and I'm so afraid I'll get the itch to move on again. I don't want to leave her, but I'm not used to staying either."

"So I guess what I'm asking for is some help. I want to get married tomorrow, but I don't want to jump into something that I ain't ready for. It would kill me to know that I broke her heart. I can't do that. I can't do it," he finished, head still bowed and hands wringing nervously.

Before he could rise, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whipped his head around and made to draw his gun, only to realize that he had left it in his room. Seeing only Teaspoon there, he let out a breath and chuckled.

"You got a death wish there, Teaspoon? If I had my gun on me, I'd've had to arrest myself for murder in the church. Don't think the townspeople would take too kindly to their new marshal shooting a man on holy ground."

"Do you think I would have come sneaking up on you if I knew you had your gun? I've been a lawman longer than you, son, and I may be a little slower, but I ain't no fool," Teaspoon replied with a wink. Jimmy smiled half-heartedly in response.

Realizing that the conversation had not erased the worry in the other man's eyes, he decided it was high time to deliver some fatherly advice, welcome or not. Motioning Jimmy to join him on a pew, he began. "Son, you sure looked like you were praying hard when I came in here. You gettin' cold feet about the big day? Seeing how I done this six times, I happen to be something of an expert on weddings and such."

Jimmy quirked an eyebrow at him. "No offense, but I don't want to go through this six times. Don't tell the guys, but I think I'm ready to be a one-woman man."

"Well, if you got that set in your mind, what's the trouble?"

"I guess I'm just used to wandering. If I don't like the town or get tired of the company I keep, I just move on. But now, with being marshal and gettin' married, people expect me to settle down. And knowin' that I can't go where I please makes me get the itch to run, you know?" Jimmy lamented. He wasn't sure if Teaspoon had any answers, but it helped to let all his thoughts out nonetheless.

Teaspoon nodded and appeared to consider his words carefully. "Son, I know exactly what you're feeling, the wanderlust. It's like an itch that you never can scratch, no matter how many times you try. It cost me my first two wives. I was stupid then, and I thought they were just holdin' me back, so I left 'em behind. But the truth of the matter was I was so scared that I couldn't make it work that I didn't need much excuse to leave. Coward's way out, I know that now."

"Truth was, never thought I'd marry after that. Figured I wasn't the marrying type. I enjoyed my freedom for a while, that is, until I met my third wife. Even then, I weren't too keen on gettin' married at first. But she told me something once that really stuck with me. She said, 'Which do you love more - your freedom or me? Marriage means being willing to give up some things for the sake of the other person. You gotta decide whether I'm worth it.'"

"That got me to thinkin' and askin' all kinds of questions about what I really wanted. In the end, I decided what I most wanted was her. So we were married, and I never regretted that decision. When I made up my mind that she was worth it, I didn't feel the itch much anymore."

Jimmy considered Teaspoon's advice before asking, "If she was so great, then why did you marry three more times? Did she stop being worth it?"

"She died."

"Oh," Jimmy replied sheepishly, almost tasting the leather of his boot after putting his foot in his mouth. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Teaspoon responded wistfully, momentarily lost in the thought of his wife. "But I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back. Even knowing all the heartache that would come from it, she still was worth it. Ain't no tellin' what life will throw your way, but that don't mean you stop livin'. No much else to do except make your choices the best you know how and hope for the best." He patted Jimmy on the back and then stood up as if to leave. "Think about what I said, son. If she's worth it, then don't worry about it. Marriage is a big commitment, but it's not more than a body can manage. It's not that you can't do it - you just haven't done it yet." He walked towards the door and was about to exit when Jimmy stopped him.

"Teaspoon?"

"Yes?"

"My bride is dead-set on us gettin' married at two o'clock sharp. Seein' as how you'll be marrying us, you better be on time, or you'll have to face her."

"I wouldn't want you to have your first fight as a married couple on account of me. I'll be there," he replied chuckling. He paused and then added, "You're making the right choice."

Jimmy nodded, feeling confident for the first time that day. "I know, Teaspoon and thanks."

"Now all you have to worry about is what to do when the babies start comin'."

Jimmy just groaned.

Angel in Her Face

As Annie said her goodbyes to Ike, she felt him slip a piece of paper into her hand. Guessing that the contents were private, she did not react and put it into her handbag discreetly. Though she longed for more time to tell him how much he had meant to her in their short time together, she knew it was time to go. She had made a promise to Harold, and she meant to keep it. Besides, he was a good man, and she knew he would take care of her. Putting all else from her mind, she joined her husband, and they rode off towards their future.

**********

Finally, I'm home, she thought as she looked around the little place that Harold had purchased for them. It wasn't extravagant by any means, but it was comfortable and secure. While Harold went to town to purchase supplies, she had offered to unpack their few belongings and work on freshening up. Soon, she had found a place for everything and was satisfied to see that it looked more like a home with a few personal items spread about the place. They would need to buy more, naturally, but Harold and she had picked out a few things along the journey so that the house wouldn't be completely bare when they arrived.

Glancing around the living room, she saw her handbag sitting on the mantel where she had left it when they first arrived. She picked it up, intending to put it in the dresser in their bedroom until her next trip into town when she would need it. Hearing a slight crinkle as she held it between her fingers, she opened it and discovered the folded piece of paper that Ike had handed to her. In all the activity since they left Sweetwater, she had not had a moment alone to read it. Though she didn't want to keep secrets from her new husband, she wasn't sure of the contents of the message and decided it was best to wait until she could have some private time to read it. Well, I'm alone now, and Harold won't be back for another hour at least, she thought. Sitting in a cushioned chair by the fireplace, she unfolded the paper and began to read. She noted from the date that Ike must have written it the day before Harold returned.

**********

Dear Annie,

I have so much I'd like to say to you, but I find it hard to get the words out. It's not just that I can't speak, and you don't know sign well. Even if we didn't have those problems, I'd still have trouble expressing how much you mean to me. I guess it's hard to put into words because I can't really explain how I already feel so close to someone I just met. Even though we don't know much about one another yet, I feel I know your heart, and I hope you know mine too.

You're a beautiful woman, Annie, and I'm not just referring to your appearance. You have a sweet spirit, and I can tell that you care deeply about others, even strangers. My mother used to say, "There are no strangers, just friends we haven't yet met," and I think that saying describes you well. When we first met and Buck had to speak for me, you never looked at me like I was anything different from anyone else. You took the time to begin to learn sign, which you didn't have to do. You barely knew me but already cared enough to find a way to understand me. That goes so much further than just good manners, and I appreciate it more than I can say.

I have a hard time feeling accepted sometimes, even though I have Buck, who's like my brother, and now the other riders, and Teaspoon and Emma. I should be thankful for the family I do have, but instead I still can't help but grieve for the one I lost. I should be grateful I survived where others didn't, but that doesn't stop me for feeling sorry for myself that I can't speak. I don't think anyone knows this, not even Buck, but sometimes I get so angry at the world I can't even think straight. And now I look at you, and you seem so content with your life, even though I know you've had struggles of your own. But somehow you still manage to smile and look for the good in others and in life. I'm not sure how you do it, but I'm so glad that you came into my life, just when I needed some hope.

I haven't thought much about God in a while, but I wonder if maybe He sent you to be my angel and to give me hope. Maybe He even wants to remind me that He's still here, that He never left me? I don't know, but if there's a God, and He uses people to encourage others, then He certainly sent you to me. I remember a few Bible stories that my mother used to tell me, and you remind me of the Good Samaritan. Just like the man beside the road, a lot of people pass me by and don't take the time to get to know me, but you did, and it makes me feel special knowing that.

Ever since I lost my speech, it's been too painful to think of the future, but now I wonder if maybe I could have the life I wanted. I used to imagine a wife, children and a home of my own, but it never seemed real until I met you. I know I don't have much to offer, but I can promise that I would do whatever I could to make you happy.

I'm not sure if I will ever give you this letter, but I felt like I just had to try to write down how I feel. Now if only I can work up the courage to ask you to be my wife…

Yours truly,

Ike

**********

Annie sighed, thinking of the man who for those few days had been an answer to her prayers. If Harold had not arrived, she had no doubt she would have married Ike. She understood exactly what he meant when he said he knew her heart, even if he didn't know the all details of her life - she felt the same way about him. She knew he was a gentle, caring man, who would do anything for his family and friends. He was exactly the kind of man she would have wished to marry. We could have been happy.

She shook her head, determined not to dwell on what was obviously not meant to be. Though she still cared for Ike, she had cared for Harold first, getting to know him in their letters back and forth. She had also promised herself to him and came west to marry him. She did not regret doing just that. At the same time, she did not regret meeting Ike either. He had been an angel for her too, giving her hope when she felt so confused and disillusioned with God's plan for her life. He reminded her that God was still watching over her, of which she would always be grateful. Though she still felt torn between the two men, she knew that she needed to make peace with it and hoped Ike could do the same.

Dear Lord, thank You for sending me Ike to help me. I pray that you watch over Him and let him know how special he is to You and to his family and friends. God, I pray that someday he'll find a woman who loves him and that he can love in return. Bless his future, and show him how much You love him and want a relationship with him. Please help us both to trust in Your plans, even though it means that our futures must be separate. Thank You for Harold and for bringing him to me. Help me to be a good wife to him, and bless our family. Amen.

Though the prayer did not completely remove the sting of loss, Annie felt a small sense of relief, just in speaking her heart in prayer. Time would help her find complete peace, but she knew she would always treasure the memories of those days.

Funny, Familiary, Forgotten Feelings

Sam paced his office nervously, occasionally pausing to check something in his pocket. From the look of the sun outside, he knew he still had many hours to go before he drove to Emma’s place for dinner. Even so, that did not stop him from glancing at his pocket watch as well as fingering the bag in his pocket.

Though he would never wish for crime, he could have used some minor disturbances to pass the time. He would have happily broken up a schoolyard fight or even climbed a tree to retrieve a frightened kitten. Unfortunately, the town continued peacefully on, unaware of his need for a distraction. Earlier in the day, he had patrolled the streets continually, only stopping when it was clear his roaming made the townspeople nervous. Likely they weren’t used to seeing him so much, so that the sight of him had caused the residents to look over their shoulders, expecting to see the criminals he must be pursuing. In the interest of peace of mind, he had confined himself to his office, entertained only by his pacing.

His wandering stopped abruptly as he reflected on the coming evening. Am I crazy for doing this? Will she think I’m rushing her? He sank heavily into a chair as he again questioned his plans. He stared sightlessly ahead until he came to a decision. As crazy as his idea seemed, he couldn’t think of another option. It may not be smart, but it’s the only way I know how to show her I love her and that I’m not going anywhere. I’m just working myself up because I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Having decided to take the plunge, Sam resumed his pacing, mentally counting the seconds until he saw Emma.

************

Throughout dinner, Sam found he could hardly concentrate on the conversation, and Emma’s normally delicious food suddenly seemed bland in his mouth. He hoped she wouldn’t notice his behavior, but the questioning looks she kept shooting him suggested otherwise. He had almost started his speech when she asked if he wanted to join her on the porch. He followed her outside, hoping that he could manage to make sense.

For a while, Sam and Emma sat silently on her front porch, rocking slowly on the swing. Feeling the weight of the bag in his pocket, Sam knew that wise or not, it was time to speak.

“Emma, I told you recently that I hoped to show you how much I loved you. I also promised you I’d never leave you, and I want to show you I meant it. I’ve been thinking ever since then of what to say or what to do, but I can only think of one thing.” Sam reached inside his pocket, pulling out the small velvet bag that he had carried around all day. Emma gasped as he drew out a gold ring with an opal set into the band.

Of all the things she was expecting from him tonight, a proposal certainly wasn’t one of them. It had only been a few short weeks since her husband had returned and then died, leaving her somewhat shaken. While she had cleared the air with Sam, expressing her love and telling him the whole story of her past, she had thought that they would take things slowly. Apparently Sam had other plans, and now she had no idea what she should say to him. She loved him and wanted to marry him, there was no doubt of that, but she wasn’t ready to walk down the aisle anytime soon. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, Sam placed a finger across her lips, stopping her words before she could even speak them.

“Wait, let me explain. I know you aren’t ready for this now, and I know we need some more time together first. I still have things to tell you from my past, my ghosts that I need to face. I want you to know everything about me, good and bad, so nothing can come between us. But whatever happens, I know this: I love you, Emma Shannon, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would marry you tomorrow; I would marry you a year from now. I bought this ring, and I want you to keep it until you’re ready to be my wife. I will wait as long as you need, and I won’t say another word about it until you bring it up. What I’m trying to say is I’ll wait for you, and I’ll never leave you. That I promise you.” Sam looked at Emma expectantly, looking for some sign as to her reaction to his bold words.

Emma reached out to take the ring from it and regarded it closely, pouring over every inch as if she were expecting to find something there. She remained silent, and for a long time, Sam was sure that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. Then Emma set the ring gently in her lap and reached into the neckband of her shirt, pulling out a long gold chain with a cross on it. Undoing the clasp, she removed the necklace and placed the ring on the chain. Securing the necklace around her neck again, she looked up at Sam with a shy smile.

“I don’t know when I will be ready to wear it on my finger, but until then, I will wear it close to my heart. I love you, Sam, and someday I will be honored to be your wife,” she finally replied, reaching out to pull him into her embrace. As he held her close, Sam thanked God for a second chance to love and to be loved by a good woman.

Woman Without a Home

Emma flinched when she remembered all her harsh words to Sam over the past few days. Sleep was hard in coming tonight, so soon after the return and subsequent demise of her husband, not to mention the memories of everything that occurred between her and Sam.

I was so focused on what I thought I owed Evan that I forgot about Sam, she concluded. And she did owe Sam more than she had ever realized, more than she had ever let him know. Even when she had showed no faith in him, he had been there for her, showing his love for her, a love that she had depended on since they began to see one another. Not only had she depended on his love for her, but her love for him had made her feel like a brand new woman after the tragedies of her past. It was time to finally let him know what he meant to her. Deciding to tell him soon, her mind settled, and she was finally able to find rest.

************

Sam stood beside Emma at Evan’s funeral, offering support without touching her, unsure of his position in her heart. When the service concluded, Emma saw the forlorn look on his face and reached out her hand for him to take, which he did somewhat uncertainly. Seeing his uneasiness broke her heart, and she knew that she could wait no longer to talk to him.

“Let’s go for a walk,” she suggested, leading him away from the town and its listening ears and prying eyes. She could already hear the gossip coming from the town busybodies, and frankly she wasn’t ready to deal with it yet. Likely they had many speculations as to why she hadn’t been living with her husband and why she had agreed to a relationship with Sam while still married, but they could wait until she had the strength to meet them. Right now the most important person on her mind was the man walking with her. He mattered far more than her reputation.

When they were some distance from the cemetery, she began to speak. She took his other hand and looked him straight into the eyes. “Sam, someday I’ll tell you the whole story of how I met Evan and about our marriage. It’s not an easy story for me to tell, and I only want to do it once, after I’ve had a chance to think through it all now that he’s gone for good. Until recently, it was buried so deep in my mind, I thought I’d never think about him again. I know now it was wrong of me not to tell you before, but all I can say is that it hurt too bad to remember. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for that.”

Sam interrupted her, “You’re already forgiven, Emma. I always figured you were like me and had a past you weren’t too proud of. I’m willing to just look forward and forget all about what’s behind us.”

Emma shook her head. “It’s high time I stopped hiding from my past and face it once and for all. I want to move forward as much as you do, but not before we clear the air, deal with our ghosts.” She led him to a fallen log where they sat together, still hand in hand.

“I realized last night that I had done you wrong. I didn’t trust you, and I let a man who let me down come between me and the one who never did. Even though you have helped me more than I can say, I never did thank you and tell you how I appreciate you.” Sam longed to tell her that no thanks were necessary, that her love more than made up for it, but he knew that she had more to say, so he remained silent.

“For a long time after Evan left, I felt so lost. I still had a place to live, but I felt like a woman with no home, no purpose in life. I survived but did little else until you and the boys came into my life. All of a sudden, this house felt like a home again, once I had people to love and who loved me. It was nice to be needed again, and I realized how much I needed someone myself.”

“I love the boys with all my heart like my own, but you’re the one who really made the difference. You reminded me that I was strong, that I had a lot to give. I just wanted to thank you for all you’ve done. I love you Sam; I always will,” she concluded, her eyes misty from the emotions stirred within.

Sam held her close, silent as he comforted her again, this time with his touch. He felt such great relief that she still loved him. He would have accepted her back, no questions asked, but it meant the world to hear her say how she felt.

“I love you too, Emma,” he finally whispered. “I hope someday soon to show you just how much.”

Got Leaving On Her Mind

“It’s not much,” Tompkins said as he led Jenny into the apartment above his store. “A place to lay my head, but not really a home.”

Jenny nodded, taking in the space silently. She felt confined in the small room, when until recently, she was used to the vast openness of the plains.

“ ‘Course now that you’re here, maybe it could finally feel like a home,” he continued, pausing to gauge her reaction. Still she was silent.

“I know I didn’t give you much reason to feel welcome when you and your mother first arrived. I’d give anything to take that back, but I can’t. Though I don’t deserve it, I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to be your father again. I don’t know if you remember it much, but we used to be happy. Folks used to call you daddy’s girl, the way you’d tag along after me. I was always so proud of you.” He beamed, reminded of treasured memories.

“I’m not a little girl anymore,” she replied, not sharing in his reminiscing mood. The sting of her mother’s death was too fresh, too intense for her to remember any tender feelings. She knew she still loved him – he was her father after all – but those feelings were buried deep beneath layers of life experiences, most of them painful.

Though her tone was not exactly harsh, the bitterness behind her words cut into him. “I know you aren’t, Jenny. I’m still amazed at how grown up you are; it’s hard thinking how much I missed. I don’t much like admitting it, but those Indians protected and sheltered you when I couldn’t. I hope you didn’t have a bad time with them.”

Jenny smiled slightly. “There were some good times. It was hard, but it was peaceful too. I learned about the land and the animals, more than I ever would here in a town.”

Tompkins considered her words. Finding anything good about “those savages” still presented a challenge for him, but he grudgingly admitted that Jenny had survived and looked healthy, if not overly happy. Perhaps she was happy in the village. Perhaps it’s only being here with me that makes her unhappy, he wondered, hoping his suspicions weren’t true.

“Heaven knows that I can’t provide the same kind of life here. But I think we could be happy.” Seeing the look of disbelief on her face, he added, “It’ll take some time for you to settle in and get used to town life again. But maybe once you meet some other folks your age, make some friends, you’ll fit in better. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but those riders aren’t the worst lot you could fall in with. Mrs. Dunne seems to have had a good influence on them, and Miss Shannon before her, and with Teaspoon, they seem to keep ‘em in line most of the time now.”

For Tompkins, this was about as much praise as he could muster for the boys of the Pony Express. He had noticed the beginnings of a friendship between Jenny and Buck. As undesirable as that was to him, he would be willing to tolerate it if it kept her here.

“Yes, they’ve been good to me since we got here. Better than some,” she noted, the implication obvious. Seeing the crushed look on her father’s face, she felt a touch of guilt. “I’m sorry for being so angry with you, but you didn’t exactly make this easy for me. And I feel like I was thrown into a whole new world, and I’m having to learn a new way of life after so many years with the Lakota. Even though I used to live in this world, it was so long ago that it feels like a dream, not like something I actually lived. I know you want me to stay here and want us to be a family, but I’m not ready. It’s not anything against the town or even you, I just…”

“…can’t stay,” he finished. He had tried his best to fight it, but it was clear she had leaving on her mind and wouldn’t be persuaded. He knew if he tried anymore, he would just push her away forever. She came by her stubbornness honestly and like him, never liked people telling her what to do, even as a young girl. He remembered well Sally telling Jenny that she couldn’t leave the table unless she finished her dinner. She had sat patiently in her chair, never touching the remains of her dinner, for two full hours before her mother had finally relented and let her go play. Though they had been frustrated with her at the time, they both laughed later at how closely daughter mirrored father. Again she revealed just how like him she was, and again he knew she had to have her own way.

“You’re always welcome to come back, if you ever change your mind. Just let me know you’re coming, and I’ll fix up the place for you. Or if you’d prefer to stay in the hotel, that’s fine too. You’re a grown woman now, and I know you make your own decisions, even though it’s hard for me to admit it. I just hope someday that one of those decisions might involve me.”

Jenny moved slightly closer to her father, not ready to hug him, but wanting to show appreciation for his offer. “Thank you. But I think a change of scenery might do me good, at least for a while.” She paused, wondering whether she should commit to anything further. “But I will write to you, let you know that I’m well.”

“I’d like that,” he replied. He accepted her offer for what it was: a small compromise and a step towards the future. Perhaps someday she would return, once she got the leaving out of her system. Until then, he would have to wait longer for his little girl to come home.

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