Chapter 1Louise sighed as she looked across the crowded saloon full of drunken men and flirtatious girls. She knew she was expected to be among the men, offering them company or something more, but she always had to work up the resolve to begin her nightly routine. ‘Not that my resolve helps me much’. If she had anyplace else to be, she would be there, but unfortunately she didn’t. This was her life, and the saloon was her home. She had tried all the “respectable” jobs available to women and failed miserably at each one of them. Perhaps if her mother had lived longer, she would have taught her how to cook, clean, and sew, and then she wouldn’t be in this mess. At the thought of her mother, Louise flinched and quickly regretted the thought. Blaming her mother’s death for her situation wouldn’t get her anywhere, and she knew it wasn’t fair to do so. Her mother had told her on her deathbed that what she most regretted was not being able to be there for her children and help them through life. Louise couldn’t imagine what her mother would think of her life now, and frankly, she didn’t like to think about her life much either. She remembered clearly the day she decided that this was the only option left for a poor orphan with no trace of domestic skill. Hungry and desperate, she had turned to the brothel as her last resort, always hoping that someday she would be able to leave it for a better life. A better life? Right now she would take any other life to the one here, but a little voice reminded her that this was her destiny, whether she liked it or not. As much as her stomach turned at the thought of making her living in this way, deep down she felt she had no choice. She was marked as a whore from the moment her innocence was stolen years ago.
Louise shook her head as if to shake away the memories that ached inside her like a wound that wouldn’t heal. Survival was her only option now, and that meant forgetting the scared little girl inside who had had so many dreams for her life: the white house on the prairie with blue shutters and a wraparound porch, the children playing in the yard, the husband coming home after a hard day’s work with a smile only for her. Again Louise tossed her head, rejecting the picture perfect dream in her head. It was just as painful to her as the other memory, more so because try as she might, she just couldn’t let it go. ‘Give it up. That isn’t your future, and it never will be. Your future is here in this bar and in the rooms upstairs. It ain’t pretty, it ain’t what you hoped it would be, but it’s your reality, and you got to face it.‘
With that thought, she forced herself to take a step and began to walk through the noisy room with a smile plastered on her face, a smile that never reached her eyes.
Chapter 2
Kid slinked into the Sweetwater Saloon, slowly following Jimmy, Cody and Buck as they made their way to a table. ‘Fine way to spend my night off.’ The familiar pungent odor of alcohol hit his nose, and he coughed in disgust. Cody turned around and eyed him with a smirk on his face.
“What’s the matter, Kid? The smell too strong for you? Should I ask the bartender to get you a glass of milk?”
Kid slumped himself into a chair and grunted his reply, “Shut up, Cody.”
He looked down at his hands, anxious to avoid Cody’s eyes and the remarks that were sure to follow. He hated saloons, and his friends knew it, which is precisely why they dragged him along. The place was perfect to rile him for his “old-fashioned notions,” as Jimmy called them. ‘Old fashioned. They wouldn’t call me old-fashioned if they knew what I’ve seen alcohol do to a man.’ Kid knew if he told them about his alcoholic father and the misery he had endured that they would probably leave him alone, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak his pain aloud. He could ignore the verbal abuse of his friends, but he knew he couldn’t ignore the emotional abuse of his memories. ‘Better to let them call me old-fashioned. I’d rather be old-fashioned than be a slave to the bottle like the guys in these darned saloons.’
“Hello, Kid? Are you too drunk on the smell to carry on a conversation?”
Kid snapped his gaze up to Jimmy, who apparently found his reverie amusing. Cody was about to fall out of his chair from laughing, and even Buck, who was usually more sensitive, had a wide smile across his face.
“Conversation?” Kid retorted, “Is that what you call the grunts that come out of your mouth? And it just so happens that I heard what you said, and I didn’t want to interrupt the fun you all are having at my expense.”
“Hey, leave me out of this,” Buck replied. Kid was surprised to see a slighted look on his face. “I didn’t say anything about you.”
Kid was about to remind Buck that he hadn’t exactly defended him either but decided to drop it, remembering Buck’s hurt expression.
“Sorry, Buck, sometimes I forget I do have a few real friends,” Kid said with a pointed look at Jimmy and Cody.
“Aww, Kid, you know we’re your friends, otherwise we’d have left you all by your lonesome in the bunkhouse, and what kind of night off would that be? We just want you to have some fun for once in your life.” Cody finished his speech with a grin at his own cleverness.
Just then, a curvy saloon girl waltzed by their table. Cody let out a whistle, which she rewarded with a giggle and a wink before moving on to the next table.
“Now there’s an idea,” Cody mused, “We can’t tempt Kid with a drink of the hard stuff, but what about a little taste of the fairer sex? And Kid, your relationship with your horse doesn’t count.”
Buck shook his head at Cody’s tenacity but held back his smile when he saw how Cody’s suggestion made Kid visibly squirm in his seat. He may not have always understood Kid’s values, but he respected the fact that he always tried his hardest to do the right thing, even when the right thing wasn’t obvious. Buck and Kid may have come from different worlds, but he felt a kinship with him in that the both refused to abandon their values in the face of opposition. He decided to speak up for Kid.
“Cody, drop it. The Kid doesn’t want to drink, and he isn’t interested in the company of any of these ladies. Believe it or not, he came here only because you, his ‘friend’,” he emphasized the word clearly, “asked him to. Maybe you ought to start acting like a friend for once in your life.”
Kid sent a grateful look in Buck’s direction. He had been avoiding their eyes as soon as he had sat down, doing anything to keep the conversation off him. ‘I guess it’s not doing me much good.’ He finally ventured a look around the saloon, when his eyes were met with a sight that was both intensely beautiful and intensely sad, all at the same time. A petite saloon girl with hair the color of autumn leaves strolled toward them with a laughing smile that made him feel as if they had just shared a private joke. At the same time, he looked into her eyes and found a strange emptiness that belied the cheerfulness she wore on her face. With that one look, Kid found himself drawn to her, longing to know the cause of the sadness behind her eyes. While most of the men there preferred to think of the saloon girls as being incapable of feeling anything other than twittering giddiness, he was attracted to her humanity. She wasn’t an object or a possession to be bought, “rented” for a bit of meaningless pleasure; she was a person, a lady. Suddenly, he wanted to lead her away from this place of shallow encounters and find a way to ease the pain in her eyes. Unfortunately, he now realized that all his friends were watching him watch her, and his chivalrous dreams would have to wait while he attempted to escape from the taunts that were to follow.
“You know, Cody, you might be right for once in your life,” Jimmy chuckled. “Kid sure has an eye for that girl that just passed by. Maybe she might be the one to lighten him up a little bit.”
“Well, there ya go, Kid. She looks fine to me, and I’m sure she’d be happy to provide you with some company or whatever else you might want,” Cody added, nudging Kid with his elbow.
Kid turned a fierce gaze at Cody and snapped back, “She’s not a piece of meat, Cody!”
“Well, she is for sale, and I think you better buy while the getting’s good.”
Instantly Kid lunged at Cody, and it took both Jimmy and Buck to force him back into his chair.
“Geez, Kid, I was just foolin’. I guess you can’t take a joke. If you weren’t so old-fashioned, you might not act like I just insulted your ma. Now I know she ain’t a piece of meat, but this is her job, it’s who she is.”
“It may be her job, but it ain’t who she is. She’s a lady,” Kid responded with a passion that surprised even him, “I guess it makes me old-fashioned, but it just so happens that my ma taught me to treat a lady with respect, no matter what.”
Buck and Jimmy met each other’s gaze. They knew Kid took his principles seriously, but the fervor they heard in his voice made them wonder what had got into him. Jimmy took another look at the seething Kid and decided to get this situation under control and quick before he emptied his gun into the unsuspecting Cody.
After staring Cody down long enough for him to get the message to shut his trap for once, Jimmy looked over at Kid and said, “Okay, Kid, we hear ya. No one’s asking you to disrespect anybody. What I think Cody meant to say was that maybe you ought to ask that nice lady to have a drink with you, sarsaparilla, of course. Won’t hurt nobody and maybe it might cheer you up a bit to have a pretty face to look at.”
Kid started to protest for what felt like the hundredth time, but before he could get more than a few words out, he stopped as he saw the sad-eyed beauty who had been the topic of their conversation head straight for him with a determined smile on her face.
“Excuse me gentleman, but I couldn’t help but overhearing your discussion about me and this handsome gentleman right here,” she said with a nod in Kid’s direction, “and I think I might have a solution that would please everyone involved.”
Chapter 3
Louise had been mindlessly walking around the saloon, trying to decide whom to approach with an offer of “company or whatever you’d like.” She had always hated saying those words, but her boss absolutely insisted that all the girls use those exact words when propositioning the men in the saloon. She knew most of the girls added a giggle to sound more alluring, but she could barely keep the fake smile on her face. ‘Maybe that’s why the other girls get more guys than I do. I can’t even do this right,’ she thought ironically, knowing full well she didn’t ever want to be good at this job.
Her thoughts were interrupted as she passed a table with four handsome young men at it. She hadn’t got far when she heard one of the men yell.
“She’s not a piece of meat, Cody!”
She stiffened as she realized that they were referring to her. Not moving from her spot a few feet away, she froze, hoping to hear to catch more of the conversation. When she heard the one named Cody say that she was for sale, she almost turned around on the spot and gave him a piece of her mind. But before she could move a muscle, she heard a loud noise and tilted her head just enough to see what was going on. She realized that the one who had just said she wasn’t a piece of meat had jumped to his feet, knocking over his chair in the process, and was desperately trying to grab the Cody fellow. The other two men held him back and eventually grabbed his chair, pushing him forcibly back into it.
‘Why is he defending me so fiercely? Do I know him from somewhere?’ She peeked long enough to determine that he was wildly handsome and that she’d never seen him before in her life. Before she had time to further ponder the situation, the conversation continued.
“Geez, Kid, I was just foolin’. I guess you can’t take a joke. If you weren’t so old-fashioned, you might not act like I just insulted your ma. Now I know she ain’t a piece of meat, but this is her job, it’s who she is.”
She flinched as she heard Cody say the words, “it’s who she is.” Even though she had said the same thing to herself many times, she felt a pang in her chest as heard them being said so callously, without feeling. She waited with baited breath, wondering how her defender, the one called Kid, would reply.
“It may be her job, but it ain’t who she is. She’s a lady. I guess it makes me old-fashioned, but it just so happens that my ma taught me to treat a lady with respect, no matter what.”
Her heart soared as she heard those precious words. ‘Are there really men like that? Did he really call me a lady?’ She couldn’t understand why this stranger was defending her honor when they hadn’t spoken so much as a word to one another. ‘He must be someone mighty special.’
As these thoughts swirled in her head, she heard one of the other men, one of the ones who had held Kid back, trying to persuade him into asking her to have a drink with him. ‘What did he mean by “sarsaparilla, of course”? The man who defended my honor doesn’t drink either?’ She smiled in spite of herself as she realized that made him all the more appealing to her. She’d seen (and been with) far too many drunk men to see anything desirable about a man who liked the bottle. Listening to the conversation once again, she realized that the men wouldn’t stop pestering Kid unless she did something to put a stop to it. He had defended her honor after all; the least she could do was help him escape the persuasion of his so-called friends.
Without another thought, Louise turned around and headed straight for Kid. She saw him stare at her for a moment in surprise and then quickly look down at the table in shame. ‘What does he got to feel ashamed about?’ She put the question out of her mind as a plan formed of how to defend her defender.
With a genuine smile, she looked straight at Kid and began, “Excuse me gentleman, but I couldn’t help but overhearing your discussion about me and this handsome gentleman right here, and I think I might have a solution that would please everyone involved.”
She laughed to herself as she was greeted with the sight of three open mouths and the top of a head that looked like it wanted to crawl under the table.
“Obviously, you gentleman,” indicating the three surprised men, “would like me to have a drink with this gentleman here. Now I’m not saying I would mind, seeing as he is the most handsome man at the table and the most polite.” Here she paused to let her words sink in, hoping that the three would catch the implication.
“Like I said, I wouldn’t mind having a drink with the gentleman, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t want to.”
Kid caught her eye and cut her off, blushing a deeper shade of red with each word. “Ma’am, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I can’t let you go thinking that I meant any disrespect. It’s not that I don’t think you would be good company. You’re probably the prettiest lady in the room, I mean, I know you are the prettiest, I mean…,” Kid stammered, feeling suddenly like some blabbering idiot who could barely get any words out, let alone anything that sounded intelligent. A glance up at the woman before him revealed a smile and kind eyes that encouraged him to continue. With a deep breathe, he gathered his resolve and determinedly continued on, “I just find it hard to treat a lady like she was an object I could ogle at and then walk away from when I was done. It ain’t how I was raised to act. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings – that’s the last thing I want to do.” He exhaled the breath he had been holding and looked up at the woman to see her response.
Louise smiled at his good manners, at his compliments, even at the way he stumbled over his words. She knew just what to do to save him from further humiliation.
“No need to apologize, I know you meant well, which is more than I can say for your friends. But we’re still back to our original problem: they want you to have a drink with me, I want you to have a drink with me, but you don’t feel like it’s right for you to do so. Did I get that right?” she looked from Kid to the others and they all nodded their heads, still clearly confused by where she was going with this conversation. “Okay, I think the solution is clear. I have to offer this gentleman something that even he can’t refuse.”
She leaned over and whispered softly in his ear, “Come upstairs with me. You don’t have to give me any money, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Let them think what they want, at least you won’t have to put up with them anymore.”
Having heard nothing of her suggestion, Jimmy, Buck and Cody were shocked to see Kid grin from ear to ear, hold out his arm for the woman to take, and began to lead her in the direction of the stairs. After a few steps, he turned his head and said, “She made me an offer even I can’t refuse. Sorry, guys, don’t wait up for me.” With that, he and the woman laughed to themselves and walked up the stairs out of sight.
Too stunned to speak, the three riders gaped at each other for almost a full minute before they all began talking at once.
“What the hell was that?”
“Did you hear what she whispered to him?”
“Who was that, and what happened to Kid?”
All three burst out laughing at each other’s questions and reactions. Cody slapped his knee in merriment, Buck shook his head in disbelief, and Jimmy couldn’t tear his gaze away from the stairway.
“What are we gonna tell Teaspoon?” Buck asked.
“What are we gonna tell Rachel?” Jimmy added.
“Let’s hurry up and get back home so we can tell everybody!” Cody exclaimed with excitement.
Chapter 4
Kid still chuckled to himself as he and his companion reached the top of the stairs. ‘I guess I don’t have to worry about being called old-fashioned anymore’, he thought to himself with a grin. His merriment came to a screeching halt as he realized that the woman was leading him to one of the rooms. He stopped abruptly as he realized he was about to walk into a room alone with a “woman of the night,” as his mother referred to them. As much as he wanted to learn more about the lady who had caught his eye, he wasn’t sure whether she had been serious about her promise that he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to do. He felt foolish for his fear, but he had almost no experience with women other than a few childhood crushes and didn’t want his introduction to the “fairer sex” to begin this way. Kid searched his mind for some way to escape the situation without hurting the beautiful woman beside him.
Louise felt her handsome companion stop in the middle and turned to see him blushing and apparently thinking intensely about something. She saw the fear in his eyes and almost laughed at the thought that he was scared of her, but kept her amusement to herself, not wanting to hurt the young man’s pride. She knew she would have to put his mind at ease.
“I meant what I said down there,” she said, trying to meet his gaze as he attempted to look everywhere but at her. “We can just go in this room and get better acquainted until your friends have left. And by getting better acquainted, I mean talking,” she added seeing the red blush rise to the tips of his ears. She reached out her hand and watched as he decided what to do and then shyly took her hand. Feeling like she was leading a small child, she pulled him in the direction of the nearest room and led him inside.
Out of habit, she unconsciously sat down on the bed. Seeing his eyes grow wide and his face red, she smiled and walked over to the table and chairs next to the window. Louise waited for him to join her at the table, but he remained rooted to the spot. Before she could invite him to take a seat, he began to stammer, sounding like he had the first time he addressed her.
“Ma’am, I just wanted to apologize for those things my friends said. They really aren’t bad guys, but sometimes they just speak without thinking about what they’re saying. I’m sure they didn’t mean for you to hear what they were saying, though I guess that doesn’t excuse it.” He ended his speech by taking a deep breathe to replace the one he had been holding in and then looked up at that autumn haired beauty before him, hoping she wouldn’t blame him for his friends’ careless words.
“Louise,” she said with a smile.
“Huh?”
“You called me ma’am, but my name is Louise.”
“Okay, Miss Louise.”
“No ma’am, no miss, just Louise,” she replied. Realizing he was still standing awkwardly by the door, she added, “If you tell me your name, I’d be happy to share this here table with you.”
“They call me Kid,” he said as he slowly crossed the room and sank into the chair next to her.
Sitting across the table from her, he tried to take in as much of her as he could without staring. He was pleased to see that her big brown eyes no longer had the same sad hollowness in them; instead, they twinkled happily at him. He felt his stomach do back flips inside of him as she eyed him. ‘How can I feel happy, nervous, excited, sick, and scared all at the same time?’
“They do, do they?” she asked with a laugh. “I thought I heard them call you that, but I wasn’t sure. Where did ya get a name like that, if you don’t mind my asking?” She realized that she was suddenly very curious about the man in front of her. He didn’t act like any other man she had ever met, and she felt a fluttering excitement as she looked into his soothing blue eyes.
“Well, I just been called that for so long, I decided to stick with it,” he replied, trying not think of the man who had given him that nickname years ago, the father who had left all those years ago.
“Who gave you that nickname in the first place?” Louise asked.
Kid mumbled, “My father,” and gazed out the window, hoping to prevent any further discussion of the origin of his name.
Seeing his obvious discomfort at the topic, she quickly continued, “Hey, you don’t have to say anything more about it, since it don’t seem like it’s your idea of a pleasant conversation. Believe me, I understand all about no-good fathers. Mine left my family years ago, and all I can say is good riddance!” Louise surprised herself with her own candor. She rarely discussed her family, especially not her father. ‘What is it about Kid that makes me so eager to spill my guts?’
Kid was also surprised with her admission. ‘Is this reason for her sad eyes?’ He wished that was the only pain she had experienced, but somehow he knew that it ran much deeper. All he knew was that the thought of her suffering made him want to wrap his arms around her, which made him think about other things that were less than honorable, which made him squirm uncomfortably in his chair. ‘This Louise will drive me crazy.’
Seeing Kid shift nervously, Louise almost kicked herself for making him uncomfortable. She decided she needed to change the subject and fast.
“Kid, can I ask you something? Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?” he asked confusedly.
“Why’d you defend me in front of your friends? We never met, at least that I can remember, and you don’t seem to want nothing from me, so why bother? Did you even know I was listening?” Louise realized she was babbling and stopped uncomfortably.
“You sure know how to make a fella’s head spin with all those questions,” Kid said with a laugh. After noticing her discomfort, he continued, “Oh, it’s alright. I think I can manage to answer. First, no, I don’t think we’ve met before either. I think I’d remember someone like you… someone as pretty as you.” He paused to sneak a look into her eyes. She smiled back, and he hoped she appreciated the compliment because he sure meant it.
“Go on,” Louise said.
“Second, no, I didn’t know you were listening. I would have probably socked Cody if I thought you heard him. He’s an okay guy mostly, but he hasn’t learned to think first, speak second,” he replied with a chuckle. His laughter ceased when he remembered he still hadn’t answered her original question.
Louise noticed his evasion as well. “And third? You still haven’t told me why you did it in the first place.” She watched Kid take a deep breath and look again into her eyes. She felt flustered with his gaze on her, almost like she had jumped into a pond in the dead of winter. ‘Man, those eyes sure are something. I hope I don’t start drooling all over myself.’
Though he didn’t know it, Kid felt just as flustered as Louise did when he peered into the depths of her chocolate-colored eyes. Knowing she was waiting for his response, he began.
“Well, it’s kinda hard for me to say exactly. I guess I’m more like Cody than I want to admit because the truth is that I didn’t think about defending you, I just did. But when I do think about it, I guess it makes sense why I did. I suppose you heard what I said about being respectful to women, no matter what. I meant that. It’s the least I could do for my ma, seeing I wasn’t able to defend her when she needed it most.” ‘I can’t believe I just said that. I’ll be telling her my whole life story before the night is over.’
“So, um,” he added with a stammer, “I just felt like I had to. There wasn’t anybody else to defend you, so I did. I don’t know if that makes much sense, but I never was very good with my words.”
“I think you’re doing just fine, and believe it or not, I think I do understand. But whatever the reason, thanks for doing it,” Louise responded, smiling gently at his modesty in his speaking ability and his loyalty to his mother. ‘I wonder what happened to his ma. I guess I’ll have to wait until next time when he feels more comfortable talking to me and then maybe…next time? Did I just think next time? I’ll probably never see him again, and I’m already planning for next time,’ she thought, chastising her wandering mind. But the thought of never seeing him again bothered her, and she quickly came up with a way to continue the conversation just a little longer.
“Now it’s your turn. You’ve been so good as to put up with all my prying questions, so ask away.”
“You want me to ask you a question?”
“Sure, why not? I owe you. Or am I so boring that there ain’t a thing about me that makes you curious?”
“That’s definitely not the problem, I promise,” he admitted. He already knew exactly what he wanted to ask her, but he couldn’t think of a polite way to do it without appearing critical or judgmental. ‘Here goes nothing.’
“Well, there is something I’d like to ask you, but it seems mighty personal, and I wouldn’t want you to take it the wrong way. It’s just when I first saw you walk by, you had the most sorrowful look in your eyes, and I couldn’t help wondering…” he trailed off, hoping she would understand what he was getting at.
“You couldn’t help wondering how a nice girl like me ended up in a place like this?” she replied. Seeing a small nod, she let out a mirthless laugh. “I’ve been asked that question plenty of times, but I think you’re the first one to actually care about the answer. Honestly, most of the men were glad that I ended up in a place like this, and I don’t think they really thought of me as a nice girl.” Her mind replayed the times when men used that line on her, and she stared out into the night, hoping the caring and surprisingly perceptive man next to her wouldn’t notice the pain in her gaze as he had before.
“I’m sorry for being so insensitive, Louise. I don’t even know how I’m still able to speak seeing that I just put my foot in my mouth,” he said, his guilt dimming the intensity of his crystal blue eyes.
She let out a genuine laugh at his joke and reached out to grab his hand, but thinking better of it, settled for a quick pat.
“Hey, Kid, like I said, I can tell you actually care about the answer, and that means a lot to me. It ain’t often anybody asks me about myself, and even though I just met ya, I feel like I can trust you not to look down on me.” She hoped he would understand just how much his sincerity meant to her.
“You can trust me, Louise. Even though I might say something stupid, I wouldn’t ever do or say anything on purpose to hurt you.” Again Kid was surprised to hear the feelings of protectivess in his voice that were directed at an almost stranger. Somehow Louise didn’t feel like a stranger to him, and he couldn’t quite understand why.
With a deep breath, she began, “I guess I started on this road the day my ma died. Before she passed, she told me I had to take care of my brother and sister and that I would have to be their ma. I promised her, and I meant it, but I was only 13 years old. What did I know about holding a family together? Like I told ya, my pa was already long gone, and I didn’t have any other kin. My ma and pa had left all their family behind when they moved west, and I never knew them. We stayed on our farm for a while, hunting and gathering enough food to survive. It wasn’t much, but it would have been enough if that man hadn’t shown up.” Louise paused as she remembered the strange horse approaching their farm.
“Who was he?” Kid asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer. After his pa left and his ma passed, it was only a matter of time before an unfamiliar man in a fancy suit came to call.
“The representative from the bank,” she replied in a mocking voice, clearly revealing her distaste for the man in the suit. “Apparently my pa hadn’t just deprived us of love; he had also neglected to pay the mortgage on our farm.” Louise stopped briefly when she saw Kid nod knowingly, as if he completely understood the situation. ‘What does he know about this?’
“The man from the bank knew right away we couldn’t pay. He asked about relatives, but I told him we didn’t have any. Before I knew it, we lost our farm, and we were packed up and sent off to an orphanage in St. Joe. I kicked and screamed the whole way there. I may have even bit a nun when we first arrived,” she added with a sly smile.
“Eventually, though, I gave up fighting when I realized there weren’t no other options. I quickly decided I had to put on a good face for my brother and sister, so that’s just what I did.”
Kid felt a surge of respect for this young woman who had suffered so much. His life hadn’t been great, but he never had to be responsible for younger siblings or live in an orphanage.
“We were doing about as good as possible considering, and I was satisfied for a while. But after about a year, I started thinking about the future. I realized that if I didn’t do something, we would all be stuck living and working at the orphanage for the rest of our lives. Life hadn’t taught me to expect much, but living a life that wasn’t much better than forced servitude wasn’t for me, especially when I remembered my promise to my ma. I decided I had to run away and find a job and someday come back for my brother and sister when I had enough save up.” Louise again fixed her gaze out the window as she remembered her naivety.
“I was so foolish, thinking I could make it all better just by wishing. I soon discovered that there ain’t many jobs for a 14 year old girl, and the jobs out there weren’t for me. I tried my hand at cooking – I nearly set fire to the kitchen. I worked as a seamstress – I stuck my finger and bled all over a woman’s new dress. I tried to be a maid – I put too much wax on the floor and my mistress twisted her ankle. I did laundry – I starched a basket of undergarments and the owners all got a rash in a particularly painful spot.” When she finished reciting her list of failed jobs, she noticed Kid was trying his best to stifle a laugh, not wanting to appear amused by her disastrous attempts at my employment.
“It’s okay, you can laugh. I don’t fault ya for thinking it’s funny,” she said with a smile. Kid responded by letting out one of the loudest chuckles she had ever heard. She joined him in laughter, more amused by his reaction than her own story.
“I’m glad you let me let that out. I was about to explode thinking about those poor people with the starched undergarments.”
Louise reached across the table to give him a playful swat. “It ain’t that funny. Let’s just say I never mastered the womanly arts. Maybe if my ma had been around longer to teach me…” she said, sighing as she realized that she wrecked the cheerful moment.
“You know, Louise, you really don’t have to tell me this.”
“I know I don’t, but like I told you already, even though it hurts, I know it’s good for me, like pouring alcohol on a wound.” ‘Many wounds. Many deep and festering wounds.’
“Then I’m happy to listen.”
“Well to be honest, there ain’t too much more to tell. After trying my best to make it, I thought I was a goner. I must have looked pretty desperate and hungry when this man came up to me in the middle of the street. He seemed nice enough at the time, and he offered me a job doing laundry, even though I told him I was no good at it. I thought he was some knight in shining armor, there to rescue me. The truth couldn’t have been farther from that.” She shuddered at her own silly girlish notions but noticing Kid’s concerned gaze, she quickly continued to mask her suffering.
“So, um, he gave a job, and I worked there about a year. I had food to eat and a place to sleep, but most of the girls hated me, and I still wasn’t very good at my job. I lived in fear of being fired, so I did my best to be a good worker. I don’t know if I could have made it if it weren’t for Charlotte. She was like the big sister I never had. She was the one who had to explain just what type of business I was working in.”
Kid looked puzzled, unsure of the suggestion.
“It was a whorehouse,” replied Louise casually, hoping to appear unfazed.
“Oh,” said Kid, shocked at the revelation that a 14 year old girl worked in a whorehouse, but tried his best not to show it so he wouldn’t offend Louise, “Why did you leave?”
“I would have stayed longer, but the owner…he…well, he wanted something different from me, and I wasn’t interested. So I had to leave,” she finished quickly, hoping he wouldn’t question her further. She liked him, and she had already trusted him with more of her story than she had with almost anybody else, but she couldn’t bring herself to say what Wicks had done to her. She felt she could explain everything else but that, and mostly, she didn’t want to relive the shame.
Kid heard the fear and shame in her voice, and he knew she wasn’t telling him something. As much as he wanted her to trust him with the whole story, he knew he couldn’t push her to reveal the secret pain. He hoped he would get the chance to earn her trust, but then wondered if he would ever see her again. Not knowing he was repeating her previous actions, he did what he could to continue the conversation, eager for any time he could share with her.
“So what happened after you left that job?” he added, urging her to continue the story.
Louise smiled at Kid, silently thanking him for not pushing her. “I wandered from town to town, finding work where I could. My domestic skills improved somewhat, so I held onto jobs a little longer, but nothing lasted, so I kept on wandering. When I reached Sweetwater, I was tired of wandering, and it seemed as nice of a town as any, so I decided to stay. I told myself that I would make it work, no matter what. I may have been determined, but determination don’t matter much when there ain’t any jobs to be had.” She paused. “Actually, there was a job for me here all along, but I didn’t want to take it. When I first arrived and was asking around for work, the owner of this here ‘fine’ establishment approached me and offered me a job as one of his girls. I told him I wasn’t that kind of girl and said there was no way I’d take the job. He just smiled and said the offer would stay open if I changed my mind. I told him I wouldn’t ever change my mind. He laughed and said, ‘It’s amazing what hunger will make a body do.’” Louise shook her head. “He was right. Within a month, I was back, and I’ve been here ever since.”
“How long ago was that?” Kid asked quietly.
“Six months. You’d think by now I’d be used to this, but I’m not. Most of the girls here survive by taking their minds away to their own fantasy world. Their bodies do what they have to do, but their minds are far away, imagining Prince Charming sweeping them off their feet and lavishing them with pretty dresses and jewels and living happily ever after in a house with a white picket fence. I tried doing that, but my mind couldn’t believe the idea of Prince Charming and the whore. So I do what I have to do. No pretending that my knight in shining armor is around the corner. It may not be the easy way, but it’s reality. It has worked for this long, but to be honest, I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. You know, every night I have to talk myself into going out there. I have to keep remembering my brother’s and sister’s faces. It’s getting harder every night.”
Kid saw the empty desolation return to her eyes and felt the same longing to take her pain away as he had the first moment he saw her. Impulsively he reached out and took her hand, stroking it lightly with his thumb as if to soothe her worries away.
Louise’s already round eyes opened wider at the touch of his hand, but she quickly squeezed his hand back to let him know she appreciated the gesture.
The two sat in companionable silence, looking out at the night, each wondering what the other was thinking and both hoping the moment would last.
Chapter 5
Jimmy, Cody, and Buck came to a stop in front of the way station, still chuckling to themselves about the evening’s experience. Noticing Noah’s horse in the barn, they quickly took care of their own horses, so they could fill their fellow rider in on the juicy gossip.
Cody slammed open the door of the bunkhouse, indifferent to the fact that Noah appeared to be asleep and comfortable in his bunk.
“Noah, listen to this! You’ll never guess what we witnessed at the saloon tonight. I wouldn’t believe if I hadn’t seen it myself.”
“If I won’t guess it, you better hurry up and tell me so I can get back to sleep,” Noah muttered, rising only slightly to look at his so-called friend who was disturbing his much-needed sleep. Seeing Jimmy and Buck, he asked, “Is this really worth listening to this fool ramble?”
“I tell ya what, Noah, this is about the most interesting thing that’s happened since we started here,” Jimmy replied with a wide grin.
“Buck?”
Buck nodded and added, “This even beats the time Cody tried to get two different girls to come with him to the same dance.”
“Y’all are just jealous ‘cause I almost pulled that off,” Cody retorted. Remembering his news, he eagerly continued, “Okay, guys, let’s get back to the subject at hand. Kid, Jimmy, Buck and I went to the saloon to enjoy our night off.”
“Night off, eh? Since when do we get nights off? Oh, so that must be why all the evening chores aren’t done,” said Noah. “So you went to the saloon and now you’re back. What’s the big deal?” Noah paused and looked around. “Hey, where’s Kid?”
The three exchanged a glance before Cody answered, “The saloon.”
“So why is that so interesting? I know it’s not like Kid to spend time at the saloon, but so what if he does?”
With a smirk, Cody replied, “Oh, it’s not where he is that matters, it’s who he’s with and what he’s doing that surprised the hell out of us.”
“Yeah, let’s just say it’s not his usual company, you know, Katy,” Buck added, referring to Kid’s prized horse that the boys always teased him about.
“Okay, I give up. Who’s he with, and what are they doing? This better be good ‘cause y’all have certainly built this up a lot.”
Cody nodded at Jimmy, as if to give him the honor of divulging his best friend’s secret indiscretion.
“Well, he’s with one of the ‘ladies’ of the saloon, and my guess is she’s doing her job!”
Noah stared blankly at Jimmy for a few seconds before responding, “Good one, guys. You almost had me going for a minute there. We can try the same thing on Ike when he gets back from his run. So, where’s Kid hiding? Out in the barn?”
Buck shook his head. “I know it’s unbelievable, but we aren’t lying. Go look for yourself. His horse isn’t in the barn.”
Noah jumped up and jogged across the yard to the barn. After peeking inside as well as looking around at any other possible hiding places, he returned to the bunkhouse where the others were laughing at his reaction.
“Told ya,” said Cody, thoroughly enjoying the effect of the big news.
“Hot damn,” Noah replied, “This is good. What do you purpose we do with our formerly sweet and innocent friend?”
“Give ‘im hell!” Cody answered.
“I like the way you think, Mr. Cody.”
The four riders schemed late into the night, busy devising all manner of torture for their Southern friend.
Chapter 6
Kid, meanwhile, was in heaven. He was amazed he had got the courage to hold her hand, and even more amazed that she didn’t slap him for it. Holding hands with Louise felt surprisingly comfortable, and he didn’t dare say anything to break the spell of the magical moment. Unfortunately for him, someone chose that moment to pound on the door, causing her to spring to her feet and look at the door with a mixture of guilt and dread.
“Louise, you in there?” shouted a woman’s voice from outside the door.
“Yes, Sally, I’m here,” she replied and suddenly realized how long she had been talking to Kid and prayed that her boss hadn’t noticed.
“Well you better hurry it up ‘cause the boss is wondering where you are, and he don’t look too happy. Seems Mr. Conner is looking for you ‘specially, so you’ll get downstairs fast if you know what’s good for you!”
Seeing the fear on her face, Kid immediately asked, “What’s wrong, Louise?”
“What’s wrong? What do you think is wrong? I have to go act nice to a man that beat me up last time he was here. I have to smile and flirt with a man that repulses me. Does that answer your question?” she snapped, instantly regretting her harsh tone. “I’m sorry, Kid, I’m not angry at you. I just hate my life, and I hate this damn job!” Tears flowed freely as she once again faced the ugly reality of it all.
He rose and wrapped his arms around her, murmuring words of comfort as she sobbed into his chest. “You don’t have to go, Louise. Stay here with me. I don’t want you to go.”
She looked up at him in amazement. “I don’t want to go either, but I have to.”
“Why?”
“This is my job. I don’t get paid unless…” she trailed off, not wanting to speak the words aloud.
“So I’ll pay you for the whole night, so you don’t have to go back out there,” Kid answered. When he saw the look on her face, he blushed and added, “You don’t have to do anything. We can just stay here and talk.”
“Your friends are probably wondering where you are. Won’t you get in trouble if you don’t get back soon?”
“My friends are probably wondering, but I don’t care about them, and I don’t care about getting in trouble. You’re worth it. Please let me do this for you.”
She smiled at his concern but knew he might change his mind when he realized how much of his hard-earned money this would cost him.
“Are you sure? It’s gonna cost you…” she whispered an amount in his ear, waiting for him to run out of the room when he heard the figure.
Kid gulped and briefly noted to himself that this was why he had avoided this in the past before replying with more confidence than he felt, “I said you’re worth it, and I meant it. Let me just settle this with your boss. I’ll be right back.” He left the room, hoping he might be able to talk her boss down to a slightly lower figure.
Louise watched him go, still amazed at this man who rescued her once again. ‘Why iss he doing this?’ It was hard to believe that a man would spend that much money on her and not want anything in return. ‘Maybe he iss just too shy to ask. Maybe I should help him out a bit. He is probably the nicest man I’ll ever meet, and I know he can’t seriously just want to talk to me. Yea, I’ll make it easy for him.’
“You’re mine for the night!” Kid exclaimed as he burst into the room with a smile plastered on his face. He was met with a sight that made him gasp for air as if he was being held under water. Louise was stretched out in the bed in a seductive pose, wearing only her undergarments. He gaped at the enticing figure on the bed, his mind fuzzy and his thoughts centered only on the vision before him.
“What are you going to do with me, now that I’m yours for the night?” she asked, raising her eyebrow seductively.
Her questions snapped Kid from his reverie, and he immediately turned around, knowing he couldn’t possibly think clearly while he was looking at her. He paused, trying to determine if something he had said had possibly mislead her, but he couldn’t think of anything.
“Louise, I’m sorry if I mislead you in some way, but for the life of me, I can’t think how. All I want from you is the pleasure of your company, and I know for a fact that I can’t carry on a conversation with you dressed like that.”
She heard the frustration and hurt in his voice and realized that she had just made an idiot of herself. ‘Why is it so hard to believe that a man might want to be around me without wanting to sleep with me?’ Not having an answer for her own question, she hid her embarrassment with a joke.
“So I look so bad you can’t even look at me?” she said, trying to sound as if she didn’t care what he thought about her appearance, while secretly hoping that she hadn’t spoken the truth unintentionally.
“That’s not it at all. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and that’s why I can’t look at you. It’s hard enough to be a gentleman with you in that dress of yours, but seeing you in your unmentionables…” he trailed off.
“My unmentionables, huh?” she questioned laughingly. Her expression sobered as she remembered something he had just said. “You know, you don’t have to be a gentleman. It’s not like I’m a lady. I’m a whore.” The last words were a whisper.
“Not to me you aren’t!” he shouted angrily, and then softened his tone. “I’m not angry at you. It’s just hard for me to hear you talk that way about yourself. I didn’t want to make you feel like that, and I’m sorry if I did.”
“You didn’t. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I know you just wanted to talk, but it’s hard for me to believe that a man would only want to talk to me. I did enjoy talking with you earlier. I really did.”
“I did too, and I’d sure like to continue our conversation if you don’t mind,” he replied.
“I’d love to, but you know, Kid, it might be easier if you didn’t have your back to me,” Louise joked. “Tell you what, since you paid for the ‘pleasure of my company,’ as you put it, I think you should decide what I should wear since my ‘unmentionables’ distract you too much.”
Though he was greatly tempted to tell her to wear nothing at all, Kid settled for second best. “I would like nothing better than to see you in a regular dress. Nothing fancy, no frills, just a nice, plain dress. And if you wouldn’t mind, I’d sure like to see your face without all that makeup. You don’t need all that extra stuff to make you look beautiful. I just want to see you,” he finished shyly.
Louise felt her heart soar at his simple and sweet request. She pulled out a blue floral everyday dress from her bureau and quickly dressed. Splashing water on her face, she washed the paint from her face. She hated the heavy feel of the makeup – she wouldn’t wear it if they didn’t force her to as part of her “uniform”. In a strange way, though, it was also somewhat comforting, like a mask to shield her true self from the staring eyes. But here with Kid, she welcomed the vulnerability, even though it also terrified her.
“All done. It’s safe to turn around now. I promise there are no unmentionables showing,” she said with a feigned casual attitude, secretly wishing he still found her attractive in the plain dress. Her unspoken question was answered when Kid turned around and a smile lit up his face, causing his crystal blue eyes to twinkle at her.
“Now that’s perfect,” he replied. Holding his arm out to escort her, he continued, “Allow me to escort you to your table, Miss Louise, and then we can continue our conversation. What do you say?”
“I would love to,” she answered, looping her arm through his and even allowing him to pull out the chair for her. It was a little silly, but she didn’t care. ‘Being a lady felt good.’
Chapter 7
Kid and Louise talked late into the night, both reveling in the connection they felt with the person across the table. Though neither said it, they especially appreciated the connection because neither had anyone else to share with. Louise had a hard time relating to the other girls, and Kid wasn’t about to mention the word ‘feelings’ in front of the guys, whom he suspected would tease him until the end of time before they let him forget he had admitted to having emotions.
They covered all kinds of subjects ranging from their shared love of horses and open spaces to their agreement that nothing beat a good steak for a nice meal and even some of their favorite memories from childhood. Kid was pleasantly surprised to discover that Louise shared many of his beliefs and ideals, but he was even more shocked when she willingly expressed thoughts that directly opposed his own. His Southern background led him to expect women to defer to men and never admit their own thoughts, which he had found maddening at times. He remembered vividly his mother’s silence during his father’s bouts of drunkenness, despite her own convictions of the evils of alcohol. She would even pour his drinks, further contributing to the behavior she detested. Though he did not blame his mother for her actions because she well understood his father’s cruelty, he had a feeling that were Louise in a similar situation, she would pour the drink on his head before she would compromise her principles. At that thought, he realized why her profession weighed so heavily on her mind because it required her to abandon all her ideals. Suddenly a solution popped into his head, and he immediately shared his brilliant idea.
“Louise, our station mistress Rachel has her hands full trying to take care of us guys. She’s always telling Teaspoon that she wishes she had more help. I know Teaspoon would give you the job if I asked, and I’m sure Rachel would appreciate it. It ain’t much, but at least it’s not this.”
She saw the hope in his eyes and knew his offer was sincere. A part of her longed to say yes and follow him wherever he might go, but before she could get the words out, her pride surged within her. Her job might be demeaning, but she did truly earn her money. He might not intend it, but his offer sounded too close to charity for her independent heart.
“I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I can’t accept it. You know I don’t have any domestic skills, and Rachel deserves someone who knows what she is doing, not an extra burden. I may not be able to say much for my life since I struck out on my own, but I can say I’ve never accepted charity. I don’t want to start now,” she replied, wondering whether her stubborn streak would be the end of their relationship.
Knowing it probably wouldn’t work, Kid tried again to convince her, not wanting to give up his chance to have Louise become a regular fixture in his life. That thought was just too appealing to let go of so easily.
“It wouldn’t be charity – Rachel really needs the help. Besides, she’s a natural teacher. She would love the challenge, educating you in the ‘domestic arts,’ as she calls them. I know for a fact she wouldn’t complain a bit. I’m sure she’d appreciate having another woman around too – she’s always complaining about being surrounded by men. You’ll see, she’ll love you,” he pleaded, giving her his best puppy dog eyes, the ones which his ma had always told him could convince her to do anything.
Feeling her resolve weakening, Louise forced herself to say no, ignoring the persistent voice that told her this might be her only chance at a new life.
“You sure don’t make this easy when you give me those sad eyes, and there is a part of me that wants to say yes, but I can’t. From the way you describe them, your friends sound real nice. I’m sure they’d welcome me if you asked them to, but that’s the problem. I don’t want to rely on others’ kindness. I want to earn my living. It’s my dream to have a respectable life, but I don’t want it if I can’t say I earned it fair and square. How would you feel if you only had a job with the Express because Teaspoon was doing a favor for someone? That you were no good, but he kept you around just to be nice? How would it feel to know the others earned their money with their work and sweat, but you were given a handout? If you imagine that, maybe you can understand why I can’t accept your offer.”
Kid nodded glumly. He understood exactly how she was feeling, even thought it didn’t make it any easier to accept. He had his pride too, and he wouldn’t easily trade it, even for an easier life. Not wanting to hurt her further by continuing to argue, he replied, “I do understand, and I respect you for it. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your place.”
Louise gave him a sly smile and joked, “I don’t think you’d do too good in my place. The dress sure wouldn’t fit you, and besides, you look better in pants.”
Kid shook his head, chuckling. “Very funny. But I bet you wouldn’t do any better in my place. You couldn’t even find any pants to fit you, you’re so skinny. And you may like horses now, but see if you still like ‘em after riding practically non-stop for days on end. What do you say about that, Miss Louise?” Hs grinned as he emphasized her name.
The fire in her eyes told him she wasn’t about to play nice. “I say, you’re on.”
“Huh?” he said confusedly.
“You said you bet I couldn’t do better in your place. I say, prove it. I just happen to have a horse, we both have some time, so what do you say to a race? Loser buys dinner for the winner. Are you up to the challenge, or should I just hand you my dress now?” she finished with a smirk, her enjoyment of their playful banter evident. Unconsciously she rose and stared him down with her hands on her hips.
Never one to pass up a challenge, Kid stood, imitating her defensive stance. “You’re on. And you can keep the dress. I think I’ll wear a suit when you take me out for my victory dinner.”
“We’ll see about that. Get your horse ready, and I’ll see you at the livery in ten minutes.”
Chapter 8
With a full moon and a cloudless sky, it wasn’t a bad night for a race, Kid decided to himself. He still wasn’t sure exactly how he got talked into it, but if it made Louise happy, he figured it was worth it. ‘Poor girl, I’m gonna beat the pants off of her.’ His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Louise rounding the corner leading a fine looking dark brown horse. She wore a navy blue split skirt with a simple white blouse, and her hair was pulled back into a braid. Except for the wicked grin on her face, she looked just like a lady out for peaceful ride through the country.
“Ready to get beat by a girl?” she confidently challenged.
“I’m ready for that steak you’re going to buy me, but enough talking already. Where are we racing to? Ladies choice, of course,” he replied with equal confidence.
“How about the windmill on the ol’ Thompson place outside of town?”
“Perfect. I’ll even let you say go,” he said, climbing up into the saddle.
Louise followed suit and looking him directly in the eyes, she spoke seriously, “Before we get started, I think I ought to tell you something.”
“What’s that?”
“Go!” she shouted, kicking her horse into action the moment the words left her lips.
After a few seconds delay, Kid realized that the race had started without him and urged his horse into action. However focused he was on the race, he couldn’t help smiling to himself at the thought of how she had got the jump on him. As he neared the slim figure in front of him, he thought to himself, ‘I’ll show her.’
Louise could hear the sounds of him approaching her and backed off ever so slightly so that he could catch up with her. She had no intention of letting him win, but she wanted to make sure that he couldn’t complain about her slight head start. Besides, she would cherish seeing the look on his face as she inevitably pulled into the lead. Though she had briefly mentioned her love of horses, she had not disclosed her riding skills. Just as she had been a natural failure in all things womanly, she had been a natural success in riding a horse. Perhaps God had blessed her with riding ability to make up for her lack of domestic skill; in any case, she had always felt a sweet freedom as she flew across the prairies, escaping the realities of life. The other girls survived with their fantasies of Prince Charming – she survived with the release of a good, hard ride. She pushed these fleeting thoughts away as she realized he was almost even with her. Now was not the time to get distracted. She had a race to win.
Kid admired her riding skills as he gained on her. Sure, it hadn’t been difficult to catch up with her, but he had to admit that she was a good rider, especially for a lady. I won’t tease her too much after I win, he thought graciously, looking to the side to give her a smile. He awoke from his thoughts of grand gentlemanly gestures as she answered his smile with a wink, dug her heels into the side of her horse and shouted a decidedly unladylike “Hah!” as she pulled ahead.
Whether he was distracted by the wink or still focused on the race, he was past the windmill by a few strides before he realized two things: the race was over, and he had lost. To a girl. He pulled Katy to an abrupt halt and jumped to the ground, grudgingly turning his head toward Louise. As embarrassed as he was by the defeat, he could not help but smile at the look of merriment on her face. ‘I suppose a little humiliation is worth making her happy. Just as long as the guys never find out about this.’
“I hope the restaurant has a nice big steak ready for that dinner you’re gonna buy me. You better get a salad or my dress won’t fit you. You’re already gonna need a mighty tight bustle to get into it!” Louise said, her laughter barely restrained.
“Okay, you won, I’ll admit it. But you gotta let a fellow have some dignity,” Kid replied, smiling in spite of himself.
Her face softened as she said, “You did ride a good race, and that’s a mighty fine horse you have there. Where did you get her?”
“I bought her with the prize money I won in a fight.”
“A fight? Now that sounds like a good story. Why don’t you tell it to me on the way back to the saloon?”
“Yes ma’am!” he replied with a salute, secretly thanking her for changing the subject from his crushing defeat.
Chapter 9
As they entered into her room, Louise laughed loudly at another one of Kid’s stories from his early days at the Sweetwater way station, particularly amused at the idea of the riders trying to balance on top of the crazy contraption that Teaspoon had purchased. They sat at the small table, and he shyly rested his hand on top of hers once again. In that moment, she realized that she felt closer to and more comfortable with Kid than she had anyone since Charlotte, which surprised her, considering how she had met him only a few hours ago. She once again felt the desire for the moment to never end, but much to her dismay, a yawn escaped her lips before she could stifle it.
“I guess beating the pants off me in that race really took it out of you, huh?” Kid asked jokingly and then softening his tone added, “I’ve had the best evening in I don’t know when, and I’m not looking forward to returning to a bunkhouse full of snoring bunkmates, but you look like you could use some sleep. We can talk more over your victory dinner. Good night, Louise.” He squeezed her hand gently and then rose to his feet and moved towards the door.
Louise, however, remained in her seat and before she could stop herself, blurted out, “Stay with me.”
Kid paused in mid-stride, unsure if he had heard her correctly. Without turning around, he mumbled, “What?”
Taking a deep breath, knowing that she couldn’t take back her words, she repeated, “Stay with me. Please.”
At the sound of her pleading, he turned on his heel slowly. She did not meet his eyes, but instead gazed out the window and continued to speak, a quiet desperation in her voice.
“Tonight has been the best night of my life, like something from a dream. I’m afraid if you leave, and I go to sleep, I’ll wake up and find that it was just a dream. If you stay here, I will know it was real. That is worth more than sleep to me,” she said determinedly. Gathering her courage, she looked into his eyes and added with a small smile, “Besides, I’m yours for the night, remember?”
Kid chuckled softly at the memory of his earlier words, and before he could loose his thoughts in the image of Louise in her unmentionables, he replied, “Okay, you win again. It sure has been a lucky night for you, although I think I had better company tonight than you did. I don’t mind losing if I get the pleasure of your company in the bargain. But let me win in this: get some sleep. I’ll be perfectly fine on the floor. I imagine this rug is more comfortable than my mattress back at the bunkhouse.”
“I can’t let you sleep on the floor! I’m not going to let you spend all that money on conversation and the hard floor,” she exclaimed.
“What kind of man would I be if I let a lady sleep on the floor while I took the bed?” he replied, bristling at the suggestion that he abandon his chivalry.
“You’d be smart,” she answered, “but since you’re determined to be a stubborn mule about this, I have a suggestion. How about we share the bed? Just for sleeping, mind you.”
As Kid appeared to be deliberating whether or not to accept, she added, “Come on. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.” She raised an eyebrow, challenging him to contradict her ludicrous statement; however, he seemed to like the idea.
“I guess if you put if that way, I can’t refuse, can I?” he responded with feigned ease, amazed that he was agreeing to share a bed with a lady. As he sat on the bed to remove his boots, he wondered, ‘what should I wear to sleep, and more importantly, just what would she be wearing?’
As if reading his mind, Louise said, “Just so you know, I always sleep in the nude.” Seeing Kid’s eyes nearly pop out of his head and his face turn the deepest shade of red she had ever seen, she added, “Only kidding!”
Chapter 10
The sun streamed in the window, and Kid fluttered open his eyes, trying to remember where he was. Turning over, he saw a sleeping Louise, and the previous evening came flooding back into his memory. He smiled at the look of childlike joy on her face, which made her look like a sleeping cherub, the sunshine making a kind of halo above her head and her simple white nightgown and robe completing the picture. Though he had slept in his clothes, she had insisted on wearing a nightgown and robe, not wanting to wrinkle her dress. She had assured him that she would wear the most modest one she owned, but he had still found it hard to sleep with her next to him. As soon as he had heard her breathing deepen, he had turned to his side to watch her sleep, immensely enjoying some harmless gawking. He didn’t remember when he finally fell asleep himself, but he knew he had been thinking of just how wonderful life could be, a thought which struck him once again. ‘How had an evening which started so inauspiciously develop into something so amazing?’ He had no answer for the question, but he took a moment to thank God for bringing her into his life, even in such a strange way.
Louise stirred and opened her eyes to find Kid regarding her with wonder, as if he had never seen someone so interesting. She beamed under his loving gaze, wondering what she had done to deserve such a look.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey yourself, sleepyhead,” he replied, unconsciously brushing a strand of hair from her face.
She smiled at the intimacy of his touch, but her smile quickly faded as she realized what must happen now. As much as she wanted to hold on to the moment, she knew he had responsibilities and life that did not include her, however much she may wish it did.
“What’s wrong, Louise?” he asked, seeing her expression darken.
“You have to leave now, don’t you?” she responded quietly.
“Yea, I do. The guys will be up soon, and if I don’t get back in time to do my chores, Teaspoon would have my hide. I’m probably already gonna get an earful from Rachel for staying out all night.”
“I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”
“Don’t apologize. It was my money and time to spend, and I’d say it was worth it, especially if you tell me that I can see you again” he replied with a smile.
This must be a dream, she thought. “I would love that,” she said with a blush and a sudden feeling of giddiness.
“In that case, it would be my pleasure if you would join us for dinner at the way station. It’s not fancy, but the food is great, and the company ain’t half bad, even Cody. You could meet my friends, the closest thing to family I got. What do you say?” he asked eagerly, excited at the prospect of continuing his relationship with Louise.
Hearing his eagerness for her to meet his friends, Louise couldn’t help feeling crestfallen. Though he spoke highly of them, they couldn’t possibly be as accepting as he was. She couldn’t pretend to be a lady; his three friends had seen for themselves exactly what she was. Worse yet, they thought that Kid was her “client” – how could they see her as anything else but a whore? Even if they could somehow get past that, she couldn’t take the night off whenever she felt like it. The only way any of the girls got time off was when they were too sick to get out of bed, and even then they had to be so obviously sick that the drunkest of men would notice it. Any hope she had for a relationship with Kid melted away, and she was left with the grim reality of her life.
“I can’t,” she said, her voice revealing her despair. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed and turned to the opposite wall, not wanting to see his face as she dashed both of their hopes. “If I want to eat, I have to work, simple as that. I can’t just ask my boss for the evening off because a nice gentleman wants to invite me to dinner. I’m not a regular lady, Kid. Unless you can come up with some brilliant idea for me to make my living doing something respectable, something I can be proud of, I don’t think this is gonna work. I’m sorry.”
Kid rose and sat next to her, their sides almost touching. He felt his heart sinking as he realized that their relationship was ending just as it was beginning. ‘No, I’m not giving up yet.’ Aloud, he spoke with determination, “Louise, I don’t know how, but I’m gonna find that job for you. I may not be much, but I’m not a quitter. I’ll figure out something. I promise.”
He spoke with much more confidence than he felt, and he prayed that he could keep his promise. Looking at her, he knew he would find a way. He stood before her, holding out his hands. She took his hands and allowed him to gently pull her to her feet. He held one hand tightly, and with the other, he lifted her chin to look into her eyes and said shyly, “I have to go now, but I’ll be thinking about you all day. I’m not giving up on you, on us.” He leaned down, brushing his lips lightly over hers. The sweet kiss left them both with a tingling feeling, and they smiled at one another, forgetting everything else in the moment.
“Goodbye, Louise.”
“Goodbye, Kid.”
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