A/N: Inspired by Kenny Chesney's song "I Remember" Kid sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Thoughts of her ran through his mind, like they had so many times before. Haunted by memories of her, he was transported back in time...to when their love was strong and new. He remembered all her smiles and all her kisses but most of all, he remembered her tears as he said goodbye and turned to leave behind the love he thought he could do without. He'd made the choice all those years ago to leave Rock Creek and head back to Viriginia at the start of the war. He knew she couldn't go, yet he couldn't stay. He had steeled his heart to the pain he had known he'd see in her eyes when he told her he was leaving. If he hadn't, he wasn't sure if he'd ever have left after looking into her big, brown eyes filling with tears as he threw her love away. He knew she felt that he was throwing her away, but that wasn't true. He knew that she had others who would love her and take care of her. He just knew that he couldn't stay and be the man she needed him to be. He didn't think he'd ever be the man she truly needed, it just wasn't in him. She needed someone who could always put her first, who would ask her opinion in things that were not a woman's concern, like fighting for his home state. Now he was living at the bottom of a bottle, filled with regrets and ghosts of what may have once been... He didn't know what happened after he said goodbye. He never kept in touch and gave no one directions on how to reach him. "Maybe she got married. Maybe even to Hickok...maybe they are one happy family...something she'd never have had with me..." Reaching for the bottle at his feet, Kid tried to drown the demons chasing him, praying that for the time being he could forget all his regrets. To an empty room he slurred sadly one last toast, "To you Lou, no matter how hard I try to forget you...I remember..." Email Lisa L. HOME