“Anyone seen Teaspoon?” Jimmy asked stopping just inside the bunkhouse door where the other riders were sitting down to lunch.
Licking a drop of applesauce from his finger, Kid answered, “I think he’s still out in the tack room.”
Jimmy turned and made his way to Teaspoon’s room over near the barn.
The door was open, so Jimmy walked in without knocking. Teaspoon’s back was to him and he was intent on something he held in his hands and didn’t hear his visitor enter.
Looking over the station master’s shoulder with curiosity, Jimmy asked, “What ya got there Teaspoon?”
Teaspoon jumped at Jimmy’s voice, dropping his hands down and turning. “What in tarnation you doin’ comin’ up on an old man like that for? Perty near scared me to death!”
Grinning sheepishly, Jimmy mumbled, “Sorry.”
Noticing that Teaspoon was holding a picture frame in his hand, Jimmy asked, “Who’s that?”
“Huh? Oh, this? This here’s just a picture of someone I use to know a long time ago…” Teaspoon mentioned as he went to tuck the photograph away in his trunk.
Jimmy was too curious to let him put the picture away without seeing who held Teaspoon’s attention like that when he walked in, so he reached out and snatched it from his hand.
“Now, Jimmy…” Teaspoon admonished expecting the man to hand it back to him.
Teaspoon was taken aback when the young man looked up at him with steely eyes and demanded, “Where did you get this?!”
Confused by Jimmy’s anger, Teaspoon felt his own ire begin to churn. “Where I got that ain’t none of your business, so just hand it back,” he told him.
Jimmy’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Teaspoon. “I make it my business when a man’s got a picture of my mother!”
Teaspoon drew in a breath. “What in tarnation are you talkin’ about son? That there ain’t your momma…”
Raising his eyebrows, Jimmy snorted a short laugh and said, “Ah, yeah it is. I think I know what my mother looks like Teaspoon, and this here’s a picture of her!”
They stared at each other for a moment before Jimmy demanded, “Why do you have a picture of my mother in your possession?”
Making a grab for the picture in Jimmy’s hand, Teaspoon wasn’t quick enough as Jimmy stepped back and held it behind his back.
“Well?” he demanded as Teaspoon shot him an angry look.
“I’m tellin’ ya Jimmy, that ain’t your momma!”
Turning and stalking out the door, Jimmy called over his shoulder, “That’s what you think! I’ll prove it to you!”
Teaspoon rushed after the young man as he made a beeline for the bunkhouse.
The other riders heads shot up as Jimmy came barging through the door, stomping over to his bunk where his trunk was with an angry Teaspoon following closely behind yelling, “Now, hold on a minute…”
“What’s going on?” Lou asked Jimmy as he threw open his trunk and dug through it. Laying a piece of fabric gently on his bunk, he unwrapped the picture that he had safely tucked away.
Standing up and turning to Teaspoon who had come to stop just behind him, Jimmy held up the two pictures.
“See? The same!” Jimmy challenged, his eyes dark and anger surging through his body.
“Mr. ‘Spoon?” Emma questioned coming to stand behind the stationmaster.
The riders all hurried from their seats when they heard Emma’s gasp and saw how her hand flew to cover her mouth in shock.
*What does this mean?* Ike signed as they all crowded around Jimmy and Teaspoon.
“Ain’t that your mother?” Cody asked looking up at Jimmy.
Nodding, Jimmy gritted out, “My point exactly!” Looking at Teaspoon, who had still not said a word since seeing both pictures, Jimmy prodded, “So, why do you got a picture of my mother, Teaspoon?”
Lou’s eyes widened in surprise at Jimmy’s question and she looked at Teaspoon, whose mouth opened and closed, not uttering a sound.
The tension in the room was mounting, causing the riders to fidget where they stood, not sure what to do or say. Emma took the situation in hand and told them, “Why doesn’t everyone sit down. Mr. ‘Spoon.” She led the still silent man to his seat then shooed Cody and Buck further down the bench as she said, “Jimmy, why don’t you come sit here, so that you two can talk.”
Jimmy wasn’t sure if he wanted to sit next to Teaspoon at that moment but the look Emma gave him brooked no arguing, so he took the seat that she pointed at.
Bringing her chair next to the table so that she was sitting between the two men, just in case Jimmy’s temper got the better of him was her thinking, Emma suggested, “Jimmy, why don’t you explain what’s going on.”
Try as he might, Jimmy couldn’t keep the anger from creeping into his voice as he told them, “I was going to ask Teaspoon something and he had this here picture of my mother that he was looking at. He says it ain’t her but anyone of you can see that it is! I want to know why he has a picture of my mother in his possession.”
Seven pairs of eyes turned towards Teaspoon, waiting for him to explain the picture, all thoughts of the now cold meal forgotten sitting on the table in front of them.
“Mr. ‘Spoon?” Emma said, trying to prompt the man into speaking.
Teaspoon’s gaze left the pictures lying on the table in front of Jimmy and looked up at Emma.
As he began to speak, Teaspoon’s eyes became focused on something he was seeing in the past.
“Her name was Polly. Polly with the dark brown hair…We met late summer of forty-two. I’d been on a trip to Chicago where she’d had been visiting a relative, a cousin or some such who was nearing the end of her confinement. We fell in love but we both had commitments that tore us apart…”
When Teaspoon paused, Jimmy cut in with a sarcastic, “Yeah, like her family.”
“Now son, I didn’t know she was married,” Teaspoon tried to defend his actions of long ago as he waved a finger at Jimmy.
“ Polly never mentioned having a husband or children. She said her name was Butler not Hickok. How was I supposed to know that her Butler was your middle name Butler?”
Cody, being the ever sensitive soul that he was piped up with a smile, “Why you could be Jimmy’s pa, Teaspoon!”
Jimmy’s head swiveled towards the blond rider, shooting him a look that sent a chill down his spine. “Well, he could be Jimmy…” Cody said in his defense before clamping his mouth shut.
“If you loved her so much, why didn’t you go after her?” Jimmy demanded.
“I didn’t know where she had went and her relatives refused to tell me when I inquired. Then I was called back to duty in Texas where I was a Ranger. I wanted to find her, but I didn’t know where to look…”
Teaspoon just stared at Jimmy, wondering himself, if the boy was his son.
Jimmy stood up, snatched the picture of his mother that was his, went over to his trunk and put it safely away and walked out the door, not saying a word to anyone or looking at those still seated around the table.
Taking a deep breath, Teaspoon sighed, “I best go talk to the boy…” He did not relish the task he knew needed doing.
Before he could stand up, Lou rose and told them all, “Just leave him alone for now. I’ll talk to him when he’s ready,” and headed out the door behind her friend.
Emma laid a hand on Teaspoon’s shoulder. “Lou’s right. Give Jimmy some time to take all this in. If anyone can get through to him, it’s Lou.”
Lou seemed to be the peacemaker amongst the group and the other riders nodded in agreement.
Emma started clearing away the long forgotten lunch and the riders took their cue to help. Soon they were heading out to the barn and Emma was setting a pot of coffee down on the table in front of Teaspoon, ready to be a shoulder for him to lean on if he needed.
“Well, Lou and Jimmy’s horses aren’t in here,” Kid stated noticing the empty stalls.
“Do you really think Teaspoon is Jimmy’s pa?” Cody asked, still dumbfounded by the idea.
Grabbing a pitchfork and starting to clean out an empty stall, Buck offered, “Would explain a lot of things, wouldn’t it?”
Kid looked over at him. “What do you mean?”
Before Buck could answer, Ike thumped a rail and Kid turned towards him.
*They are both good with a gun,* he signed.
Nodding, Kid admitted, “Yeah, they are, aren’t they?”
“And they both got a temper, though Jimmy’s got Teaspoon beat by a mile!” Cody inputted with a grin.
Sitting down on a bale of hay with a saddle in front of him, Kid began to clean it and wondered out loud, “So, where do you think they went?”
“Knowing Jimmy, he’s headed down to the pond to his thinking spot,” Buck told them as he handed a brush to Cody and pointed to the horses that still needed brushing.
Cody frowned at Buck but took the offered brush and went to work on Warrior. “I didn’t know Jimmy had a thinkin’ spot.”
*That’s because you’re always thinking about yourself* Ike told him with a grin.
Taking offense at Ike’s comment, Cody decided to ignore the others and let his mind wander to Miss Rose Webster on whom his affections were fixated this week.
Jimmy heard her horse before he saw her. Without looking behind him, he stopped Sundance and waited for Lou.
“They send you after me?” he asked a bit angrily.
A little smile crossed her face as she told him, “No. I came because you’re my friend.”
With a little nod, he kicked his heels against Sundance’s sides, urging him forward. Lou followed behind on Lightning, letting Jimmy set the pace not only for their ride, but conversation as well.
They stopped when they came to his favorite spot near the swimming hole. There was a large rock that allowed both of them to sit easily upon it, watching the water ripple past.
Lou removed her hat and set it off to the side, lifting her face towards the noonday sun. Jimmy stole a glance at her as she sat with her eyes closed, a smile playing upon her lips.
He had never felt comfortable in the company of any girl other than his sister, but with Lou he was at ease and felt like he could say what was weighing upon his conscious.
Twirling a weed in his fingers, Jimmy asked, “What do you think Lou? Could Teaspoon really be my pa?”
Lou sat up, dusted off her hands and set them in her lap. Tilting her head at him, she studied him for a moment before answering. “Can’t say that you look much like Teaspoon. Then again, I don’t know what he looked like when he was younger.”
Exasperated, Jimmy threw the weed away. “I didn’t ask if we look alike. I asked if you think he could be my father.”
“I know you did Jimmy. I’m not sure how to answer you other than to tell you that only your mother would know the answer, I guess.”
Jimmy sat in silence, thinking about his long dead mother. Could she really have had an affair with Teaspoon years ago?
“You have to admit, it’s odd that they knew each other, wouldn’t you say?” Lou said skipping a rock across the surface of the pond five times before it fell into the depths of the water.
“Nice throw,” Jimmy offered, grinning over at her. With a self-satisfied smile Lou murmured, “Thank you.”
“I just couldn’t believe it when I saw Teaspoon looking at her picture. My heart started beating so fast I couldn’t breath, Lou. I didn’t know what was happening. Then when Teaspoon denied having my mother’s picture I seen red.”
Jimmy rubbed his face with a hand and sighed. “Guess I showed him, didn’t I?” he asked. “I ain’t never seen Teaspoon speechless before.”
Lou laughed at the memory of Teaspoon standing there, mouth opening and closing with no words coming out of it. “Can’t say I have either.”
Jimmy lay down upon the rock, lacing his fingers behind his head. “What if he is my pa? What do I do then?”
Settling upon her elbows next to him, Lou looked over confused. “What do you mean, what do you do? You need to go and talk about this with Teaspoon, just the two of you. “
Jimmy closed his eyes. “I ain’t sure what to say to him. Right now I got a lot of anger inside. Anger that if he is my pa, that I spent all those years with a man who was hard and free with his hand, believing that I had to take it because he was my father. Thinking back now, I wonder if he knew that I wasn’t his. I mean, he did treat my sisters a lot better than he did me. The girls could do no wrong, but me, I was always in trouble.”
He paused lost in thought for a moment, a far away look in his eyes, full of sadness and anger. Hitting his fit upon the rock he scowled, “Right now, I’m full of anger at having been denied knowing my real father, if he is my real father.”
Laying a comforting hand upon his arm, Lou rubbed it a moment.
“That’s understandable, Jimmy. I would think that you would both have a lot of anger. You for what you just mentioned and Teaspoon for not having known he had a son all these years. I think he’d also feel guilty knowing what you and your mother went through at the hands of the man who raised you.”
Turning on his side so that he could look at her, Jimmy admitted, “I didn’t think about that. I guess he would be mad too.”
Knowing that some of Jimmy’s anger was abating, Lou had a question for him. “I have to ask, what do you want the answer to be? Do you want Teaspoon to be your father?”
Taking a deep breath, Jimmy pondered her question before answering. “I don’t know Lou. I mean, I like Teaspoon well enough, but if he’s my father, it’ll change things and I don’t know if I can deal with that.”
“Yeah, it would mean you’d have something the rest of us don’t; a father.”
“Do you think it’s possible, Mr. ‘Spoon?” Emma asked back at the way station.
“Oh, it’s possible all right,” he admitted understanding Emma’s question.
Taking a sip of her coffee, Emma had to wonder at the day’s turn of events. ‘Wouldn’t it be something if Jimmy was his son,’ she thought.
“So, you really didn’t know she was married? She never told you her last name was Hickok?”
Teaspoon had to wonder at it all. “I never suspected she was married or that she had a family of her own. Honest. If I’da known, I’d never have went after her, Emma. When she left, it was without word to me. I couldn’t understand her leavin’ like that. Now, I wonder if she knew…” his voice caught and his hand shook with emotion, “If she knew she was expectin’.”
Gently patting his hand, Emma murmured, “I know Mr. ‘Spoon, I know you wouldn’t.”
Smiling at her, he said, “Don’t that beat all? A son? And Hickok to boot!”
They both laughed at the thought of the young hot head being his son.
“I could get used to that,” Teaspoon said.
Jimmy and Lou didn’t return until after dinner that evening. The bunkhouse was already dark, signaling that the other riders had already turned in for the night.
“I know you got an early run tomorrow Lou, I’ll take care of your horse. Why don’t you get to bed?” Jimmy suggested taking Lightning’s reins from her hand.
Before she turned from him, he said huskily, “Thank you. For everything. You’re a good listener and an even better friend. You helped me see things in a different light.”
Rubbing a hand down his arm, Lou told him, “You’re welcome Jimmy. I’m here anytime you need to talk. Remember that.”
“I will Lou,” he murmured, overcome with emotion at how lucky he was to have her in his life and as a friend.
After finishing with the horses, Jimmy stood outside the barn a moment, looking up at the night sky. A slight noise drew his attention to the tack house where Teaspoon slept. He noticed a shadow just outside the door. Taking a deep breath, he mustered up the courage to go over to the man who was, in all likelihood, his father.
“This seat taken?” he asked pointing to a barrel next to the one Teaspoon was sitting on.
“Go ahead,” Teaspoon told him. He’d watched Jimmy and Lou ride in a short time ago and wasn’t sure what he’d say if Jimmy came over. Now that the boy was here, he still wasn’t sure what to say.
“Want a drink?” Teaspoon asked holding up a bottle that Jimmy was sure didn’t contain sarsaparilla.
“Why not?” Jimmy answered accepting the shot glass that he was handed. Tilting his head back he swallowed the liquid, coughing as it burned down his throat.
“You get use to it,” he was told with a laugh.
Coughing some more, Jimmy managed to get out, “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Course, I don’t want you drinkin’ none of this after tonight seein’ how the bosses frown at their riders partaking of spirits ‘n all.”
Smiling, Jimmy couldn’t help but admit, “No worry about that Teaspoon. I’ll stick to sarsaparilla.”
The two sat in companionable silence for several minutes before Teaspoon gestured towards the bunkhouse. “I noticed you and Lou riding in a while ago. You two pretty close, huh?”
Nodding, Jimmy said, “You could say that. Lou’s about the best friend I’ve ever had.”
“Then you’re lucky. It’s hard finding someone you can talk to, knowing they will be there no matter what happens.”
“I agree. We had a good talk. He pointed out a few things about, well about this whole situation that I hadn’t thought of. Like what it must be like for you, finding out that you have a grown son after all this time. It can’t be easy for you either.”
Clearing his throat, Teaspoon set his glass aside. “I didn’t know what to think at first. I didn’t want to believe that Polly, yer ma that is, wouldn’t have gotten word to me that she was expectin’ you.
At first I was hurt to think that she didn’t tell me, then I realized that she probably felt she couldn’t from what you told me about your pa…Mr. Hickok. I got to thinkin’ about the life you had when you was younger and all I can say is, I’m sorry Jimmy. I’m sorry for not bein’ there for ya, for not keepin’ ya from all the hurt you been put through all those years.”
Tears fell from the old man’s eyes as he talked. Jimmy could see how pained he was for not having been there for him. “You might not have been there in the past, but that don’t mean you can’t be there for the future. That is, if you want…”
Half afraid that Teaspoon would tell him that it’d be for the best that they part ways, that he wouldn’t want him as a son, Jimmy closed his eyes and waited for a reply holding his breath in anticipation.
His fears were put to rest when Teaspoon stated, “You know this don’t changes things. I’m still gonna boss you around just like all the others. I’m sure you and I are gonna fight like cats ‘n dogs at times, but in the end, you’ll see I’m right. I do hope you’ll feel like you can come to me when you got a problem or need to talk. I ain’t used to this fatherin’ thing so you’ll have to cut me some slack, son.”
Grinning, Jimmy was thrilled that Teaspoon wanted to have a relationship with him. “Just remember it works both ways old man. Everyone knows what a hot head I am. Must take after you…” he teased.
Feigning hurt feelings at Jimmy’s remark Teaspoon shooed him off the barrel. “Off to bed with you.”
As Jimmy started walking towards the bunkhouse chuckling, Teaspoon called out, “Jimmy. I’d be proud to have you for a son.”
“I think I could get use to you being my father too,” came the young man’s reply from the dark. “See you in the morning Pa!”
Teaspoon laughed to himself as he closed the door to the tack room, thrilled to know that he not only had a son, but a son who was a lot like him.