Lou was sitting on the grass, contentedly basking in the warm light of the early afternoon, with a smile on her face. Today there wasn't any run to make, any chore to do, any trouble, or any problem to solve. There was only her, waiting for her love in their spot. She lay down on the grass, and stretched luxuriously, thinking about all the pleasurable activities they would occupy the rest of the day with.
She heard a horse approaching but kept her eyes closed and, when she heard someone dismounting and coming near her, she clasped her hands on her chest in a very 'Sleeping Beauty' style, waiting for her Prince to kiss her.
"Lou, love, we finally are here."
It took her only a moment, to realize that wasn't voice she expected to hear! She popped her eyes open to find Jimmy looking at her with wistful eyes.
"Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here!" she exclaimed.
"I suppose you didn't realize it, did you?" he responded sitting on his haunches, the romantic tone in his voice disappearing and becoming a more practical one.
"What should I realize…?" she began to ask, when a sudden flash of comprehension hit her, "one moment, are you trying to tell me…"
"I'm trying to tell you that a JL shipper has started a new story. Here's the plot," he said pulling out a small book from his pocket that he gave to her.
"Uff…noo..." Lou puffed, "today that Kid and I have a free afternoon, I've planned so many things…"
"Things I don't want to know anything about!" Jimmy stopped her, seeing the dreamy look on her face, "as much as I love you guys, that's definitively something I don't want to know."
"Well, the important thing is that Kid knows what I've in mind for him," she replied saucily.
"Okay Lou, stop now! First the work, and then the pleasure. Let's start, ok?"
Lou sat on the grass, weeping. Kid broke her heart, because he couldn't understand her need to be free. He had tried to smother her, he wanted her be a proper Southern Belle without brain he can rule around, because that's what he wanted from a girl, since in Virginia, where he grew up, everyone thought in that way.
"Hey! That isn't true! And by the way, the only time he tried to take a decision in my place, you know how it ended, don't you?" she grinned.
"I think he learned the lesson," Jimmy replied grinning back at her.
Jimmy approached her, his heart was torn. Oh, how much he loved Lou. But he couldn't love her, no, because he was a gunfighter, and his destiny was doomed. No he couldn't let her love him back, because he would put her in danger, and he would never forgive himself if something happened to her.
"And now who is the one deciding for the other?" Lou said, "I tell you it as a friend. If I ever saw you wallow in this doomed gunslinger self-pity and renounce the girl you like to do the honorable thing, I swear I'll kick you in the next week!"
"Ok Lou, message received." He laughed and raised his hands in mock protection.
"Good. Because let me tell you something; there is nothing that makes a girl feel more useless and incapable of a man who said to her: I love you but I've got to leave you because I can't protect you. What do you think we are: damsels in distress in a fairy tale? We girls don't need protection, we need love and that you men share your problems with us."
"I guess you had to teach it to Kid, too. Hadn't you?"
"Yes, I did, and he learned it in the hard way. But I, too, had to learn a few things about being a couple." She smiled sweetly encircling her legs with her arms.
"Again with that dreamy look on you face? C'mon Lou. You're supposed to be heartbroken because of the Kid, and seeking comfort in me: your best friend, the only one who can understand you or what you're feeling just by looking in your eyes…you know that often I haven't the tiniest idea of what's in that pretty little head of yours don't you? I really pity Kid sometimes."
"Hey! What do you mean with that?"
"Lou you're my best friend and all, but well, I've got to confess that sometimes you're really hard to deal with, honestly. The poor guy gets yelled at even when he didn't do anything wrong and you know it. What is it? Do you like to make him squirm?"
"That's none of your business, Jimmy Hickock." She respondend raising her chin, "You're a man and you can't understand that we women can be…"
"Sensitive! And complicated. It isn't our fault if you men can't understand us." She huffed, crossing her arms, and turning away from him. Demonstrating indeed how complicated and lunatic a woman could be.
"C'mon Lou, I apologize. But now let's start. There's a bunch of JL shippers behind that bush that are dying to see a kiss between us."
"Yeeeah!" was yelled from behind the the JL shippers' bush.
In that moment Kid arrived riding Katy and holding a basket wrapped in a checkered plaid that was supposed to be his and Lou's picnic.
"Jimmy? What are you doing here?" he asked when he saw the other man. "No!" he exclaimed immediately after, "the JL shippers…"
"I'm afraid yes, Kid," Lou responded apologetically.
"Here, Kid!" Jimmy said launching him his copy of the JL fanfiction they were going to do.
Kid caught it with his free hand and dismounted from his Katy.
"Geez…these girls really know how to make someone feel hated and unwanted!" he said after reading a couple of pages.
"I'm sorry Kid." Lou went to him, "but the important thing is that I love YOU." She gave a peck on his cheek, "after all the authors said that, and Yvonne too." She winked.
"We love you too!" a KL shipper yelled from behind a bush opposite to the JL shippers' one.
"You can go and let them cuddle you for a while, if you want." Lou said seeing his sad and depressed face.
"Yeess!" another KL fan yelled.
"But NOT too much!" Lou specified looking menacingly at the bush. She liked the fans and all, but not when they became to forward toward HER man.
"Go now, Kid." She swatted his backside playfully, "I'll promise I'll make up for this lost afternoon," she added archly, making Jimmy raise his eyes to the sky and groan in the process.
"Ok, then." Kid blushed. "…have fun you all over there!"
He saluted the JL shippers on the other end of the meadow and headed to his fanbase's bush. A bit scared of those screaming and madly giggling girls who were waiting for him, and cursing for the umpteenth time the authors that gave to Jimmy the worse female character ever appeared on the show instead of a nice girl who can make him happy, and placate the JL shipping, if it could ever be possible.
Author's Note: A silly parody of the KidLouJimmy triangle